Song Exploder - Meek Mill - Trauma

Episode Date: December 11, 2019

Meek Mill is a rapper from Philadelphia. He’s put out five albums. His most recent, Championships, debuted at #1 on the charts, and was nominated for a Grammy for Best Rap Album. Back in 2007, He was arrested on a gun charge at the age of 19, and over the last eleven years, he was sent to prison four times for parole violations. But in July 2019, based on evidence of alleged police corruption, the Pennsylvania Superior Court threw out his conviction, and the parole violation that had led to his most recent time in prison, a five-month sentence. It was soon after Meek Mill was released that this song, “Trauma,” was created. He took inspiration from his experiences in prison, and his early life in Philadelphia. In this episode, Meek Mill and Don Cannon, who produced the track, break down how the whole thing came together. songexploder.net/meek-mill Right now, Radiotopia is holding its annual fundraiser. You can help support Song Exploder and the network that makes it possible. Make your mark. Go to Radiotopia.fm to donate today.

You're listening to Song Exploder, where musicians take apart their songs and, piece by piece, tell the story of how they were made. My name is Tau Wyn. This episode contains explicit language. Meek Mill is a rapper from Philadelphia. He's put out five albums, his most recent championships, debuted at number one on the charts, and was nominated for a Grammy for Best Rap album. Back in 2007, he was arrested on a gun charge at the age of 19, and over the last 11 years, he was sent to prison four times for parole violations. But in July 2019, based on evidence of alleged police corruption,

the Pennsylvania Superior Court threw out his conviction and the parole violation that had led to his most recent time in prison, a five-month sentence. It was soon after Meek Mill was released that the song Trauma was created. He took inspiration from his experience. in prison in his early life in Philadelphia. In this episode, Meek Mill and Don Cannon, who produced the track, break down how the whole thing came together. I go by the name of Meek Mill.

When I got out of prison, I wanted to explain my mind frame where I come from being locked in a cell. 23 hours a day, that could do something to you mentally. My name is Don Cannon. It was 2018. And, you know, I had a heads up where he was going to be released from jail. So I want to say, like, how can I jump in with Meek and make something feel exciting, classic, and mean something to the culture? How can we make a stance? We're both from Philadelphia, so we have similar fights, similar battles.

As a kid from the age of a toddler to like 10 years old, I used to love playing the game. I used to get A's and B's. And then when I start going outside on my front step, people was getting shot, they were selling drugs. Of course, I got tangled up in a life. I had to protect myself. I had to feed myself. The age of 19, I caught a case, a gun case. I was charged with a bunch of bogus charges beat by the police.

I was on probation for 11 years, sent to prison four times. And along the process, I dedicated myself to making music. And I never turned back. The minute he got out, I reached out to him. And, you know, he had a lot of things going on, you know, just getting out. And I just said, yo, I got something for you. It's going to explain everything. I started getting into the beat making process with him a long time ago.

He was a youngster. But this beat was a lot more of a thinking process more than it was. Actually, me just sitting down making a beat. If you watch some of Meeks earlier freestyle videos, he actually freestowed on this Mob Deep record called Getaway. MobDee was rappers that inspired me. I actually wrapped off that beat on my first mixtape. I burnt 50 CDs at Office Max and just passed them.

out and you know that's how I started to get my buzz in. It's one of his best freestyles in my opinion. So I did a little research on it. I had that in the back of my mind like, man, maybe I should try to tap into the original sample of the Mobb Deep record. And it showed from the progression from when he started to now. So the sample is Barclay James Harvest taking me higher. And, you know, he's always having big dreams trying to get away from, you know,

the simple hood stuff. and getting to the next level, it's always having a dream. Dream Chasers is his label. He's always teaching kids to have a dream. So the song meant a lot. So when creating, I look at it as like a script. I create the storyline. I lay out the sample.

And then I have to figure out how can I keep a certain bounce and aggression? You know, sometimes when you get these tell-told stories from artists, the beats are really downplayed. don't play because you don't want it to interfere with the message that the artist is trying to give out. So I was trying to figure out how to keep the beat and aggression going the same way. I just wanted to have an uptempo feel and not just a layback feel to get his message off. And I feel like if I could pull that off, I could get him to bring the best out of himself about the story.

You know, I don't know if he was ready to jump back in, but I sent it over to him. And he was like, hold this for me, don't play this for nobody, I got something special for it. He came to Atlanta and he called me, told me pull up to the studio. He was like, I want you to hear some records. He was halfway through the process of the first verse. And he was playing and there was like, about 15 people in there. They was like, yo, this one right here is exactly what he need. And he hadn't even got to the hook yet.

But I already knew once he got that content on the first verse, I was like, oh, yeah, this is going to be special. We all hanging with the news on our neck. My cellie mom just died. He wanted to use my collect. And he won't make it to the wake. Unless he give him a check. We're still niggas, though.

What you expect? I was locked up with a guy before. I had to let him use a collect card just to contact his family after his mother died. He couldn't connect with his family. So, you know, it's just like if you're in prison and your mother die, if you don't have a certain amount of money, you can't even go pay your respects to your mother

that could make or break you just that alone, knowing that amount of a dollar could stop you from seeing your mother for the last time. And, you know, me seeing that being in prison around people who are poor and me coming back and me having resources and having money and able to support myself and my family from jail, I just had a different outlook on it.

I'm like, damn, they don't let them go see that mothers in a casket unless you have money to pay. That was kind of unfair to me and it never sat too well with me. I just want to give people a bird's eye view of the story I had to walk and many of us had to walk.

That's kind of silent. I felt like the getaway part of the sample meant a lot because a lot of people People don't understand being locked up 23 hours of dark and one hour of light, what it does to your brain. You really just want to get away. And this can mean a lot of things. It can mean leave earth, leave, just your mental thoughts. So you had the dreamer in the beginning, which was the intro.

And then, you know, the getaway was basically him getting a chance to speak on how it was inside and how he was feeling. I make all my music on the spot. I don't write my music down. So, you know, as soon as I get a thought, I got a rush to the booth and lay it down piece by piece. I think that's a great thing. A lot of times when you write down things, you already got the filling out on paper.

So now you're reading it back and you're not giving it a certain amount of feeling. It's a readback, and it's very hard to give it the same energy. When it's in your brain, you're giving out the emotion as you're saying it. You know, they tell you sometimes when you're at a problem, depressed or you're feeling some type of way, right?

All your thoughts down on paper, you'll feel better. Rapping is different. You speak it into the mic. You know what I mean? You give all your emotion to people. They feel it a certain way. You know, I'm talking about experiences from growing up in these type of environments. Like a young kid being shot down and an old lady coming out who don't even notice kids, someone that got shot on her block. And she holding them, tell them, like, just breathe, baby, like hang in there.

Ah, ain't no PTSDs. Them drugs keep it at ease. They shot that boy 20 times when they could have told them, just freeze. Could have put them in a cop car, but they let them just bleed. The ambulance ain't coming, baby, just breathe. That one in particular was just chill giving. It just takes me back to where I see moms run out in the middle of street and trying to wake their baby up and they're already passing. You know what I mean? You say that line? I know exactly what you're talking about. So I gave him a platform to speak freely and the world to hear it is troubles.

And, you know, I was happy about that. That's exactly what I was aiming for. And then I say, yo, how can I make this record bigger? You know, my go-to musicians are 1500 or nothing. They're a band in California. They play for, you know, Snoop Dog, J-Z. They're really good with taking records to the next level. So, you know, when I'm trying to get that feel,

I always reach out to them to really put the icing on the cake. You know, those guys come from the church. So they're always bringing in the best to the best. I don't even have to tell them sometimes where I'm going for. I get to say, yo, I need like that grunge feel. You know what I mean? Like you're walking through the neighborhood on Halloween. So they put like a small vocal chop in the back of them.

It's a ghouling feeling. Like it's that mysterious horror film feeling. And then they put live guitars in there. I felt like, you know, on my journey would be. Meek, it was like wait for the proper time and give him the canvas to paint on. And honestly, he hit a bullseye. When you sit there and you're listening to him, you feel some type of way. When I say I seen my brother's blood on a pavement how you wake up in the morning feeling evil,

basically like seeing one of your homies, your friends, your family, them a shot down. If you see too much of that, you'll start waking up in the morning and feeling evil. Feeling like you want to get revenge, feeling like you want to protect yourself, or you might want to kill or do anything or harm someone else because you're enduring so much crime and hate. My real reason why I made this song, I always thought of it like this. I used to have to do community service with the veterans. I used to see some of these veterans, you know, they might have went to war and as soldiers that they went to war with, two of them, five of them might have got killed. Some of them guys have mental issues

because they've seen too much and been through too much and they might have post-traumatic stress they might have paranoia and think someone trying to kill them and commit a crime. When they go in front of the court system the first thing they bring up is

this is a veteran he has post-traumatic stress in my neighborhood this one kid, the last one left all four brothers was killed he carrying a gun in the neighborhood and the guys that killed all four his brothers they probably gonna kill him too

so you know he's trying to defend itself and he getting something and catch a case. And, you know, when we go in court for carrying a gun, we can't go in there and say, Your Honor, I'm paranoid. If you check the data in my neighborhood, there was 300 kids that looked like me murdered this year in my neighborhood. That's why I was carrying a gun. That doesn't work for black and brown men in court.

Do you think they ever even bring post-traumatic stress up in the courtroom? They label you a gang member or a thug. They don't even bring it up. They don't base it off a circumstance. They don't base it off of mental health, Post-traumatic stress disorder. Is that fair? Do y'all see that as fair?

Yeah, it ain't fair at all. You might ride through the hood or the ghetto, and you might see kids on the corner and their face might be bawled up and frowned up. You know, people automatically classify him. He's a bad guy, he's dangerous. He might be dangerous, but his dad might be in the graveyard. His mom might be on drugs.

He'd probably been a 10th of him. minerals this year. You know, it's hard to really fix your face and fix your image and seem to be happy when you've been through these type of things. So what we come from is a different world. And now here's trauma by Meek Mill in its entirety. For $44 an hour, you cowards that use you. Was it self-hake that made you send me upstate? Just with a so-car real nigga sweeping up for cupcakes. And that's your phone time.

You ain't got no money, you ain't online. Can't call your son, call your daughter just to wish them on prime. Oh God, don't let them streets get a hold of them. Your daughter fucking down, it's gonna be a cold summer. Your son's trapped into your homie giving those to them. And if you fuck that paper, I'll be putting holes to them. And you just wanna make it hunts out, you get shot to them. And them people ain't fit to get no parole to you, they want blood.

We all hanging with the news on our neck My Sally mom just died He wanted to use my collect And he won't make it to the wake Unless he give him a check We're still niggas though What you expect? I just warned

I was on a corner winery And they got a swam for I free See my brother blood on the Huh, uh, uh, Trump. These them drugs keep it at ease They shot the boy 20 times When they could have told them just freeze

Could have put them in a cop car But they let them just bleed The ambulance ain't coming, baby just breathe Let it said when she screamed There's a nightmare on M Street Friday 13th and then the 13th Amendment. Instead of we kept you on play for a team

and all this team has I'm saying the thing Stay woke If you don't stand for nothing You're going to fall for certain And in the 60s if you kneel You'll probably be killed But they'll kill you now

They just take you out of your deal Kill your account Look what money gets spilled Check it And now kill you now Let's take it out of your deal Kill your account Look your money gets spilled

I just won I was on the corner They ain't got us war for I free See my brother blood on the pay Huh Huh When them trust Got a hold

Sometimes you send me to jail to know that I won't fell Invisible Shack was on the king cause shit I'm on bell I went from selling out arenas and that shit I'm on sell I'm cold night starting to feel like hell Watching a black woman take my freedom Almost made me hate my people

When they label you felon it's like they're telling you They're not equal 11 years going to court Going to court knowing they might keep you or drive you crazy 23 hours in the cell somebody saved me I'm on a jail car

trying to explain it to my baby I gotta do the calendar twice and I said maybe Visit song I was on the corner with the reef And they got a swam fly free See my brother blood on the pen

Huh Tram When them trust Got a hole Visit songexpliter. comnet for more information about Meek Mill There's also a link

to learn about Reform Alliance, the organization he co-founded that aims to reduce the number of people serving unjust parole and probation sentences. You'll also find a link to buy or stream this song. Song Exploder is made by executive producer Rishi Keeshirwe, producer Christian Coons and me. I'm guest hosting for 2019.

Production assistance from Olivia Wood and illustrations by Carlos Lerma. Song Exploder is a proud member of Radiotopia from PRX, a curated collective of independent creative podcasts. You can learn about all of our shows at Radiotopia.fm. You can also follow Song Exploiter

on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter at Song Exploiter, and you can follow me at Tao Get Stay Down. I'm Tao Wyn. Thanks for listening. Radiotopia.