Song Exploder - Sam Smith - Stay With Me

Episode Date: July 24, 2024

Sam Smith is a Grammy and Oscar-winning singer and songwriter from London, England. Their first album, In the Lonely Hour, came out in 2014. It went quintuple platinum in the US, and the biggest hit from that album is the song “Stay With Me,” which has over 2 billion streams on Spotify alone. For this episode, in honor of the song’s 10th anniversary, I talked to Sam about how “Stay With Me” was made. I also talked to Sam’s frequent collaborator, Jimmy Napes, who is an award-winning producer and songwriter as well. The two of them tell the story of how the song began, and how it turned into the hit that it became. And then, years later, how it changed again.For more, visit songexploder.net/sam-smith.

You're listening to Song Exploder, where musicians take apart their songs and piece by piece tell the story of how they were made. I'm Rishi Kesh Hirwe. This episode contains explicit language. Sam Smith is a Grammy and Oscar-winning singer and songwriter from London, England. Their first album, in The Lonely Hour, came out in 2014. It went quintuple platinum in the U.S. And the biggest hit from that album is the song Stay With Me, which has over two billion streams on Spotify alone. For this episode, in honor of the song's 10th anniversary, I talked to Sam about how Stay With Me was made.

I also talked to Sam's frequent collaborator, Jimmy Napes, who is an award-winning producer and songwriter as well. The two of them tell the story of how the song began and how it turned into the hit that it became. And then, years later, how it changed again. My name is Sam Smith. Before writing this song, I was working in a bar for about two, three years post-leaving school, trying to make money and trying to pay my rent in London, singing and performing was something I always loved. But at that time, I remember being in my flat.

And I made a pact with myself. And I said to myself, if I don't make it in the next year, I'm going to leave London and I'm going to travel around the world. Because I was to the point where I was so. tired of hustling to be a singer. And so, yeah, I gave myself one year. And I just by chance met Jimmy Napes, who also wrote this song with me in 2012. I'm Jimmy Napes. I'm a songwriter and producer. I met Jimmy because I had a manager called Elvin Smith. I was working in the bar and Elvin took me to go and sing for Jimmy in his studio in London,

almost as an audition. And I sat down at the piano and I played and I sang for Jimmy. When I heard Sam sing, it was instantly obvious to me that Sam was going to be a superstar. Even though they were working in a bar at the time, I'd never heard a voice like it. And so he started to want to write with me after my work shift. So I'd go my lunch break or I'd go after the bar. and we wrote nonstop. The first day we ever wrote a song together,

we wrote a song which was Lay Me Down, which was an amazing start for us. Lay Me Down would go on to become the first single from Sam's debut album. It hit the top 10 on the Billboard charts. And then I met Disclosure, the dance duo. Disclosure heard the song, Lay Me Down, and loved Sam's voice and loved the song.

And we went down myself and Sam, Sam to where the boys lived and we wrote Latch. The song reached number 10 in the charts in the UK. I had been working really hard but not having any luck or any hits is the hard truth of it. So it was kind of unbelievable. You know, these moments were in the space of a few weeks of each other and we'd written, Lay Me Down and Latch in our first couple of writing sessions, which went on to change all of our lives. and I got a record deal, so I was able to leave my day job.

And then I was being, you know, sent to so many different writers. It was like speed dating. The label was starting to put Sam with a lot of different co-writers and producers and people that were far more established than myself at the time. Jimmy didn't have any hits under his belt other than Latch. And the label, stupidly, weren't listening to the music we were making. But I just knew Sam and I had this connection. There was magic being made with me and Jimmy.

And thank God we listened to that in the end. So the day that we started writing, Stay with me, I think I was a little bit hungover because I'd been going out at that time trying to find a boyfriend. And I went to the studio with Jimmy, but also with an artist called Tourist. My good mate Will goes by the name Tourist. It was a risky day.

I remember because Tourist was an incredible dance producer, but I'd been working with real pop writers. And so me, Jimmy, and Tourist altogether, no one knew what was going to come of it. I'd been doing constant writing sessions, and some incredible music had been made. But we were missing something anthemic. We were missing the song.

The pressure of the hit is a mad thing. So I walked into the studio with a mission for sure But I think the mission was overridden by the story I needed to tell that day Will was by the piano And he was just playing around with chords And then he hit those first three chords I just stood up and I said stop I told everyone to stop

Because they made me want to cry They just they spoke to me The chords to stay with me are so simple but they instantly felt really classic and special. I was working with so many musicians that were, you know, showing me all these complex chords and playing all this complex music. But those three chords, they just sounded honest. Do you what it is?

It's the space. Space. My head was busy. The space left room for me to speak my mind. Normally I'm playing the piano when I write. But because Will's such a great pianist and he was there that day, I had to find another place to be. So I sat myself on the drum kit and just played that really simple beat.

Jimmy's not a drummer. Definitely not a good drummer. But that also, by the way, makes him one of the most amazing drummers, actually. Only Jimmy can drum in the way that he drums. It just gave it that feeling and that head noddy movement that we wrote to in the room. You know, so I've wrote from the drum kit. which I've never done before or since. It just shows that writing music,

you don't have to be the most incredible piano player or the most incredible singer or the most incredible drummer. You just need to feel. And Jimmy could feel it. I remember he'd started playing the drums and he actually put his arms up in the air and started singing. He started with an A sound. It was like, eh, with me.

But he didn't say stay. But it just felt big. I remember watching, I remember sitting there, watching him, do that and I felt like I was in a stadium. That's when the lyrics stay with me came. As soon as we had those words, I immediately knew what I wanted. I was 21 years old. I was gay and never had a boyfriend and was so desperate to experience love and to experience a relationship and I was going out so much and the queer scene in London that I was going out to him was aggressive and cold at times.

I was surrounded by drugs and sex and I really just wanted a boyfriend so bad and people wanted to sleep with me but people left it at that. So I just felt very, very isolated and I felt late to the party and I think when you feel late to the party, when you haven't experienced love, you start to think what's wrong with me. So when I heard those three chords, it put me into that feeling of loneliness. Guess it's true, I'm not good that I want to stand, but I still need love because I'm just a man.

I knew that I wanted this to be about a one-night stand. I knew I wanted it to be about that feeling when you wake up in the morning with a one-night stand and just wishing that they would stay and want to stay and want to come back and want to be with me and that feeling is so desperately sad because they leave and I wanted to capture that. I don't want you to leave who you hold my hand.

My voice sounds so different. It's crazy. When I started singing that, I was a fresh fish. I'd been singing for a while but my chords were all like beautiful and pink and just like vibrating so perfectly, now my chords are battered. Why am I so emotional? No, it's not a good look

and some self-control. Sometimes the most beautiful poetry is just how you'd honestly say something. And so I didn't want to sound clever just for the sake of sounding clever. I wanted to sound honest. Deep down I know there's never word. But you can lay with me.

So it doesn't hurt. Oh, won't you? Because you're all I need. But darling, stay with me. The chorus, if I'm honest, was missing something. And what I realized it was missing was a choir. But we didn't have a choir. We didn't have enough money to get a choir.

So I was like, well, it's just us. But let's try and make this feel like a real chorus. It was just me and Jimmy and we worked overtime that night. I started recording Sam in different parts of the room and the mic stayed in the exact same position. But what's cool about that is as Sam moved around the room, you get a special effect like it is a choir. Essentially, it's as if there are many, many Sam's in the room.

And we built this sound up. Just layering them up over and over again. I'd actually like pretend to be different people. This is I'd like pretend to be like really low Because my range back then was a lot bigger, so I stretched my voice as hard as I could. I remember being so sure of myself doing it, even though I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. And then when I finished, I stood in the live room and we played it back with the lead vocal over the top. Because you're all I need.

This ain't love. It's clear to see. But darling Stay with me When we played it back I just had goosebumps And I spoke on the talk back I said oh Sam that was amazing Like can we get one more

One more take And Sam didn't answer I didn't let Jimmy see me I had my back to him And I was like Are you okay And I went I just like left the computer

And went in the other room and Sam was crying. But I just burst into tears because that sound that we created, it was the sound of the feeling that I was trying to express. They could hear it all come together and it was just emotional, like in real time. It sounds mad, but I felt close in that moment

to something bigger than me. It's the only way to explain it. That was the moment the song changed. The process of getting the record finished was an amazing one. So we went to RAC studios to join together with incredible musicians. We tried lots of things. So that's ours, drums, and Jodie's bass.

And then we were playing around with the organ. I think the organ creates an atmosphere. It's like a holy hum. I grew up in Catholic school, and I was singing in choirs since I was a child. There's certain instruments and sounds that can just put you into a state of meditation. The label wanted us to write the bridge and it didn't feel right. I said everything I needed to say. It's very simple.

I'm asking someone to stay with me. And so I just knew that this was a time for my make-believe audience to put their hands in the air and just sing. Simon Hale is a great dear friend of mine and he composes all of my string parts he did a beautiful string arrangement which we used very sparsely it only comes in at the very end

but it just takes it up another notch that was the first time I ever heard an orchestra being recorded onto my music and oh my god what a joy what a surreal moment it was unbelievable maybe stay with me was my siren song because after I released that, I got boyfriends. And guys did stay.

I experienced love almost immediately, really, after writing that song. And I think that I had to get that off my chest a little bit. And I think by being vulnerable from standing up and saying, I'm lonely as fuck, and I need someone and I want to feel that, I think I called love to me. And I come to that song now. as someone who knows what love feels like. So that song really healed me, honestly. But I've always been a non-binary person,

and I just recently found the right language to express who I am. And the second line in stay with me, says, because I'm just a man. How does that line sit with you today? It was a really hard one. I was on tour whilst I was changing my pronouns and all throughout my transition, coming to terms with who I was, and singing that lyric every night.

And my friend Simon Audraud, who's a amazing songwriter, said to me, you wrote that song when you were 21, and it's a moment in time. Just leave it as that. But the truth, the matter is, when it comes to that lyric, it's just the word man. The word man is triggering to me now, because it's not how I feel.

So I started to not relate to the song as much. And I didn't want that distance with Stay With Me. Sam called me actually, which was very respectful and just said, would I mind if they changed it when they perform live? And I said, no, absolutely not. Go for it. You've got to love what you sing and, you know, it's got to be true to you. At first, I think it was quite a daunting idea to think about me changing a lyric in that specific song. But basically, I went to sing at the White House

for this incredible moment for the queer community. This was in December 2022 on the day the Respect for Marriage Act was signed into law. And they asked me to sing, stay with me. It felt wrong to stand in that moment and say the word man. And so on that day, I changed the lyrics to baby understand, which is not the most amazing.

I've rattled my brain about what to say for years and years and years, but it's the closest thing that I can get to the same feeling as the original lyric. And so ever since the performance at the White House, I've never sang the word man again. I promised myself in that moment that that was the turning point and I would never return to that lyric. And I feel so much better about it. You know, I think that's the beauty in songwritings that it can actually evolve with you.

It's just so personal, and it should always be personal. But, darling. Coming up, you'll hear how all these ideas and elements came together in the final song. I have a new album of my own coming out on April 24th. It's been about 15 years since I last put out of full length, and this is the first one that'll be out under my own name, Rishi Kesh, Her Way. I started making Song Exploder when I was feeling lost in my own music career. And then for over a decade, I've gotten to have these incredible conversations about the process of making music, talking to other artists.

And it made me completely rethink my relationship to music and my way of writing songs. And this album is the product of all of that. It features contributions from some of my favorite artists, including some folks that you may have heard on this podcast, like Iron and Wine, Kevin Morby, Vagabon, Fenlily, and the producer Phil Wine Rope. I'm going to be on tour playing in cities across the U.S. starting in April. and I'm trying to bring the spirit of the podcast with me. So every show that I'm playing will begin with a conversation about the album with a different amazing guest moderator in each city, like Adam Scott, Samin Nasrat, Jason Manzukas, Josh Molina,

Minjin Lee, Ken Jennings, John Roderick, Austin Cleon, and more. They're all going to be my conversation partners on stage. And then I'll play with my band. The album is called In the Last Hour of Light, and the first couple songs are out now. You can listen to the music and get tickets for the shows on my website, rishikash.co, or just go to songexploder.net slash live. That's songexploder.net slash live.

Thanks. And now here's the updated version of Stay With Me by Sam Smith in its entirety. Guess it's true, I'm not good that I want to stand. Unlead love, baby, understand. Nights never seem to go to plan. I don't want you to leave who you hope. my hand oh won't you stay because you're

some self-control visit songexploder.net You'll find links to buy your stream, stay with me. And you can watch the music video. You can also watch the video of Sam's performance of the song at the White House. This episode was produced by Craig Ely, Theo Balcombe, Kathleen Smith, Mary Dolan, and myself. Our production assistant is Tiger Lily Biscop.

The episode artwork is by Carly Carlos Lerma, and I made the show's theme music and logo. Song Exploder is a proud member of Radiotopia from PRX, a network of independent, listener-supported, artist-owned podcasts. You can learn more about our shows at Radiotopia.fm. If you'd like to hear more from me, you can sign up for my newsletter, which you can find on the Song Exploder website. You can also follow me and Song Exploder on Instagram,

and you can get a Song Exploder t-shirt at SongExploder.net. slash shirt. I'm Rishi Kesh Hereway. Thanks for listening.