Soul Boom - Dhar Mann Takes Radical Accountability for Failure, Cringe & Finding God

Episode Date: October 15, 2026

SPONSORS!👇 🛒 ZipRecruiter 👉⁠⁠ https://ziprecruiter.com/soulboom 🛒 Nutrafol (promo code: SOULBOOM) 👉 ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://nutrafol.com 🛒 ZocDoc 👉  ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://zocdoc.com/soulboom 🙏 Fetzer 👉 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://fetzer.org⁠⁠⁠⁠ Dhar Mann joins Rainn Wilson to reveal how going broke, repeated business failures, public criticism, and nearly quitting content creation ultimately led him to faith, purpose, and an audience of more than 170 million followers. They explore God, radical accountability, online hate, the fear of being “cringe,” why suffering can transform us, and the unlikely video that changed Dhar’s life forever. MERCH OUT NOW! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://soulboom.com/store⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up for our newsletter! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://soulboom.substack.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ SUBSCRIBE to Soul Boom! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/Subscribe2SoulBoom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ FOLLOW US! Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://instagram.com/soulboom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://tiktok.com/@soulboom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sponsor Soul Boom: [e-mail] Work with Soul Boom: [e-mail] Executive Produced by: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Kartik Chainani⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Executive Produced by: Ford Bowers, Samah Tokmachi Companion Arts Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I've had businesses collapse. I've had partnerships fail. I've had all kinds of problems happen to me. I am the common denominator. If I said, oh, it was a bad economy. It was bad timing. I ran out of money. It was a bad partnership. I was whatever it was. It was always a different reason. But there was one common denominator. And that was me. So I realized if I didn't see myself as the problem, that I would never see myself as a solution. So from that point forward, I decided that I was going to take radical accountability for everything that happened in my life. Before God gives you the life that you've been praying for, he shapes you into the person that can actually carry it. Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team.

J.K. Rowling couldn't get Harry Potter published and she tried dozens of times. Walt Disney went bankrupt so many times on his way to start Disneyland. I started to think about it and I was like, well, what is my superpower? What is the one thing that I'm better at than anyone else that I can go and do? Hmm. And you know what that thing was? Hmm. Failure.

Hey there. It's me, Rain Wilson. And I want to dig into the human experience. I want to have conversations about a spiritual revolution. Let's get deep with our favorite thinkers, friends, and entertainers about life, meaning, and idiocy. Welcome to the Soul Boom podcast. A really quick thanks to our sponsors, ZipRecruiter, Neutrofall, Zocdoc, and Fetzer, links and promo codes on screen and in the description. Enjoy the show.

When you're money focused, as soon as you don't make money, if you try something 99 times, you didn't make money, what are you going to do? You're not even going to get to 99. You're going to probably get to five. You're going to be like, man, I didn't make anything. I'm going to give up. But if you're mission-based, it's a lot. it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you failed five times.

It doesn't matter if you fail 10 times or 99 times or a thousand times. That is your mission. And as any entrepreneur knows, success is not like this. It's not just a straight line up. It is you failed. You failed even worse. You failed so bad that you may not even ever get back up. You failed so much that everybody is judging you and thinks you're a fool,

but you kept going. And you kept getting up. and you kept marching forward. That's what it takes. And only a mission-based person can get that far. So that's the reason that anyone who is mission-based is far more likely to be successful, especially in the long term. And when you're entering any birthday, but especially a new decade, you want to feel like

your life is finally coming together. Like, you probably remember when you entered your 20s. You probably remember when you enter your 30s or your 40s or your 50s. You're just in a new mindset. Even when I was 10 years old, I vividly remember what that birthday was like. And you feel like you want to have things figured out at 30. Kind of like, hey, okay, I made a lot of mistakes in my 20s. Now I'm in the saddle and ready to go.

At 20, you want to feel like, oh, I'm starting to form like a social circle and I'm starting to prepare for leaving college and maybe starting my career. At 30, you want to feel like your career is coming together. At 40, you want to feel like your family is coming together. At 50, you want to start to think about retirement or whatever it is, right? Don't even talk to me about 60, motherfucker. I just turned 60. Let's go. I just turned 60. And still crushing it amazing. But yeah, Jeffrey Katzenberg always says that your dreams should be bigger than your memories. And so that always

inspires me to just like keep working hard and pushing forward. All right. So I entered my 30s. I'm at the lowest point of my life. Definitely not where I imagine. I'm going through a bad breakup. I'm broke. I'm depressed. I'm having family problems. I'm having reputation problems. And I'm two weeks away from getting evicted from my apartment. So all the dreams that I had in my life, I was someone that was going to go somewhere that was going to be something. You'd already started seven businesses. Exactly. I was now the guy. You had a Cadillac. I had a Cadillac. I had a Cadillac. I had a Lamborghini at 21 years old. Whoa. Again, I was like making money, but I was spending it fast. I was just living for the

moment and trying to do whatever it could that attracted people in my life, which I didn't realize was for the wrong reasons until later. But anyway, so I turned 30 years old and now this is the third major failure that I've had in my life. I've had businesses collapse. I've had partnerships fail. I've had all kinds of problems happen to me. And so I started thinking about it. And I was like, I am the common denominator. Every single one of those times, like in the beginning, if I said, oh, it was a bad economy, it was bad timing, I ran out of money, it was a bad partnership, I was, whatever it was, it was always a different reason.

But there was one common denominator. And that was me. And so I realized that if I didn't see myself as the problem, that I would never see myself as a solution. So from that point forward, I decided that I was going to take radical accountability for everything that happened in my life. So I had started to get into the right mindset, but I didn't really have direction. What was I going to do?

So I started reading books. And again, I was feeling so embarrassed about where I was my life. I was still feeling somewhat hopeless. And the one thing that I discovered is as I was reading stories about successful people, I was shocked to find how all of them, every single person I read about, had encountered massive failure on their way to success. And so I read stories about how Michael Jordan got cut from his high school basketball team, but went on to become one of the greatest athletes of all time.

Or J.K. Rowling couldn't get Harry Potter published, and she tried dozens of times. Or how Walt Disney went bankrupt so many times on his way to start Disneyland. And I was like, huh, If all of these very successful people failed all these times on their way to success, then maybe my story could be the same. Maybe failure was not my story. It was not my whole book.

Maybe it was just a chapter or in my case, several chapters of my book. And that this was all somehow preparing me for something greater. So I started to think about it. I was like, well, what is my superpower? What is the one thing that I'm better at than anyone else that I can go and do? And you know what that thing was? Failure. I had failed more at 30 years old than anyone I knew.

And so I was like, if I'm a subject matter on one thing, I can talk about failure. And as I started to think about it, I was like, there's so many people out there. that feel like their life is not where they want it to be, that I feel like they had big dreams and goals that never quite worked out. I could connect with that person. I could let that person know that they're not alone. And I could also talk about how I failed, why I failed,

to help them learn from my mistakes so maybe they could avoid making some of those on their own. And so I started talking on camera and just talking about my life and giving advice. And were these part of the first 99 videos? This was the first video I ever put out was about not giving up on your dreams. And it's a good thing because I wanted to give up so many times while I was making that video. For anyone that's thinking about making content, it's so hard to go in front of camera.

I mean, unless you're some prodigy and you were meant for camera, for me, it was the opposite of that. I never imagined myself on camera. So even though it was just like three minutes and all my lines were scripted, I took me probably hundreds of takes in order to say that. My girlfriend at the time now my wife kept saying, just be yourself. That's the hardest thing to do on camera, especially if you don't know who yourself is like me

because I was still struggling to find myself in all of this. And by the way, I just want to say that as an actor, when you're given the direction to like just be yourself more as a character. It's one of the hardest things to do. It's like people like one of my favorite actors of all time is Brad Pitt because you wouldn't think of like him having this hugely wide range. Right. But his ability to be himself and bring himself to those roles and all of the nuance

and you can see him thinking, see him feeling. And yet each character is really distinct. is so hard to do and he makes it look so easy. Yeah, agreed. And so, you know, when I recorded my first video, I really hesitated to put it out. And the same doubts that a lot of us face, what if no one watches it?

What if people think I'm cringe? And then I realize that, you know what? Because, again, I'm a mission, I'm doing this for the cause, not the applause. even if one person watches my videos and has a better day because of it, then it's worthwhile for me to put this video out. I posted it on May 29, 2018, my birthday. And it's a good thing I had that mindset because only one person did watch my video. Oh, my mother-in-law.

I kept, I kept refreshing and refreshing thinking that. It's just like one, one. Yeah. You know, you try to, you try to break a comma. That's like when you're starting out as a creator, that's the biggest thing. If you get a comma in the numbers, which is like 1,000, but I couldn't even break like 10. And I would then I would start asking like, hey, can you share these videos and start reaching out to people, right? And nobody would watch those.

And so for a long time, I was just putting out videos trying to give advice. And then my wife one day told me, she's like, don't tell people, show people. I was like, oh, that's interesting. So instead of telling advice, I would start storytelling. And I would describe a story that happened to me with the moral lesson or just story, like the fables that we know, like the tortoise and the hair, for instance. I would share a story and then I would give a moral at the end. And then once I realized that I would actually, I found this cheap company that did illustrations, little 2D animations that maybe charged like 100 bucks a pop. Yeah.

And I would put in these animations intercut. into my videos. So now you're actually visually seeing the story play out. Well, before I couldn't break 100 views when I was giving advice. When I was storytelling, I couldn't break a thousand views. Once I put the animations in, now I was getting to like 5,000 views. So it was like, I'm on the right track. I'm on the right track. And, you know, at that time, I wasn't spending anything in my videos because I didn't really have money. I was, I was like a one person team, right? Like, I would stay up with my wife and we'd like ideate and we'd edit. We'd learn how to do everything ourselves. I had one team member that, you know, I was like barely affording and he just sort of

believed in the mission for some reason. We were shooting everything out of my small little studio apartment. My studio was literally a studio apartment that was like 600 square feet. And we shot everything on iPhones, you know, did it as crappy as possible. And it's a good thing because imagine if my inexperience is what made me successful. Because imagine if I thought as a traditional filmmaker. And I was like, oh, I got to have this big fancy setup and all these locations. And I would have went out to banks and tried to get loans and use credit card debt. I would have spent all my money on one video. It wouldn't have worked.

And then I would have failed. And I'd spend the next 10 years trying to pay off that debt. But because I didn't have resources, I didn't have knowledge of how it's supposed to be done. I was just shooting in my apartment on an iPhone. And so I was putting out video after video after video. It wasn't working. And even though, you know, I was mission. I was more so mission based about trying to inspire people, not so the format in which I did it.

And so I started getting discouraged because again, it was not sleeping. I was working all day for like a regular job. And then at night I was creating content. I was spending time with my wife, wasn't socializing, wasn't going to the gym. And so I was like, babe, like, I don't know if this is for me. Like maybe I just have to find another way. Maybe I'll write a book or something. And she goes, no, you've worked so hard on this.

I really believe in you. Keep going. It's amazing how it's always like that one person, you know, and a lot of times it might be like a friend. It might be, you know, a teacher. It might be your partner. But she really kept going and believing in me. So I kept making videos, kept making videos. And then I got to my 99th video.

And I was like, all right, you know, I put out 99 videos now. Like, please let me give up and try something else instead. And she didn't want to agree to that. But, you know, she saw how hard I was working. and how miserable I was making myself. So she goes, okay, well, whatever you want to do. So I decided I'm going to make my last video. And at this time, I used to write my scripts on napkins at that time.

My scripts were just basically what I was going to say to camera because everything was just me talking to camera with some animations tied in. And everything was a life lesson, right? So this lesson I wanted to talk about was on infidelity. And how about infidelity could start with seemingly innocent acts? And the idea I was coming up with in my head was there's this husband who's scrolling Facebook while his wife is cooking him dinner and has her back towards him. And he stumbles upon his ex's post.

And he's debating if he should like it or not. And the story's going to go into if you likes it, then that kind of turns into a comment, then that turns into a message, then it turns into coffee. It starts to snowball. One seemingly innocent act can lead to the next. as I'm writing this, I happen to look over in my kitchen and my brother-in-law is visiting and he's scrolling on his phone on Facebook. Oh, wow.

And my wife's friend is cooking something in the kitchen with her back towards him. And I suddenly had this light bulb moment. What if I had them as actors on the screen while I narrated the story? So I go to them and I'm like, guys, would you be okay with being in a video? And they're like, well, what do we have to do? Sure. In hindsight, I probably should have told him that I was going to portray him as a cheater. Yeah, yeah.

But I never thought that. You'll be known until the end of time as a philanderer. I was like 10 people are going to watch this. It's not going to matter. Right. So I'm like, just stand there. You keep scrolling your phone. You keep cooking.

And I started recording a camera and I started voiceovering it with me on camera. You can see me talking and this situation is playing out. I finish that video. I schedule it to go live the next morning at 6 a.m. I wake up at 7 a.m. with my wife shaking me. She's like, dar, dar, wake up. I was like, what's going on? She's like, that video that you posted, it's going viral.

And I was like, what are you talking about? that video went on to get 250 million views. The last video that I ever planned on posting was the one that went viral. And so, you know, the moral story is like, you never know how close you are to success. You literally could be one door, one phone call, one piece of content away, and you'll

never know unless you keep going. Because what keeps me up at night is what if I gave up on video number 99? I certainly wouldn't be here. I know kids these days are all about looks maxing, but when you get to a certain age, it's all about time maxing. You know what I mean. How can I claw back five minutes here, 10 minutes there before the inexorable march of time swallows us whole? Suffice it to say, we all have our own time saving hacks for everyday life. But if you're a business owner, how How can you save time hiring? ZipRecruiter! ZipRecruiter has a new feature that quickly lets you see the most interested qualified candidates

first, so you save time by meeting the right people faster. And right now you can try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash Soul Boom. Their powerful matching technology finds qualified candidates quickly, and candidates can tell you in their own words why they're interested in your job, which is considerably more useful than staring at a resume and attempting to read a stranger's soul. time and meet great candidates sooner with ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Try it for free at ZipRecruiter.com slash soul boom. That's ZipRecruiter. Meet your match on ZipRecruiter. I have spent enough time thinking

about my hair over the years to know that hair has plans of its own. You can negotiate with it. You can plead with it. In the mirror, it does not care. But if you're dealing with thinning hair or hair that's shedding, there are actually things you can do to support healthier hair. And that brings me to Nutrafol, a product that I have actually used for a very long time. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand, and it's the number one hair growth supplement brand personally used by dermatologists. Because hair health isn't a one-size-fits-all, Neutrophol offers different formulas for both men and women at any age or stage of life. Their hair growth supplements are peer-reviewed NSF certified for sport and clinically tested. You can order online

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quantum physics, healing, and what it means to be human. Featuring conversations with Neil DeGrasse Tyson, Michiukaku, and other leading scientists and experts, our podcast is where science and spirituality meet. Listen to new episodes of Myambiolics Breakdown every week. Follow the show on Apple Podcast, Spotify, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Watch full video episodes of Myambiolix's Breakdown. at YouTube.com slash Miami-Biolic. A couple things come to mind.

One is, I'm so glad you moved away from the advice thing. One of the things I see happening on social media is people feel like in order, you know, they have a hero like Stephen Bartlett from Diary of a CEO, let's say, brilliant guy. And they're like, I want to be the next Stephen Bartlett. So I need to give advice. Right. You know, and listen, I want to hear advice, but I want to hear advice from people that have been through it, you know, that have read a thousand books. Yeah.

That have started and failed, that have struggled, that are like Dr. Gabor Matte, you know, worked on the streets with addicts and the mentally ill for decades and is talking about, you know, mental health and how it works in your brain or trauma. Like, that's who I want. I don't want to hear advice from a 27th. year old, no matter how smart they are. Yeah. But figuring out ways to what you did there was so genius to figure out how to take. You're still giving advice, but when it's framed in story, your show don't tell scenario. That's what people respond to.

And that has been the recipe for success for Darmand Studios. Yeah, to your point, like the best business vice I could give is don't fall into the trap of paying for online mentors to teach you lessons. Because if they were so great at whatever it is that they're doing, the business they're building, whether it's drop shipping or crypto or AI or whatever it is, they would just use all that knowledge for themselves. And more importantly,

you are paying someone who is also training your competition. You are not the only one student that they have. They are trying to get as many students as possible. and maybe even trying to make you an affiliate to help them get more students. So you're going into a business that is creating an indefinite more amount of competition. Does it ever make sense

to be the 1,000th coffee store in a neighborhood? No, it doesn't. It reminds me of this school we used to work with in Haiti and they decided to do vocational training and they're like, oh, they need welders. We always need welders in Haiti. We'll offer welding classes. So they trained dozens of young men

to be welders. Well, they didn't think it through because all these dozens of young men lived within a mile or two of this school. And now all of them wanted to be welders and started welding businesses. And they were at each other's throats and there were fights breaking out and there was kind of the worst kind of competition. But in a way, even though that's the impoverished country of Haiti that still holds true for something like that. That's well said. When you were at this nadir, when you were at your low at 30, and you're like, wow, I've failed so many times. Maybe I can turn the wisdom that I gained through failure. And I loved what you said about that because it's true.

Everyone successful I know has really fallen on their face and fucked up big time, countless times. where did God start to become a presence in your life? When did prayer? When did meditation? As you talk about it a lot now, was that with you then? Or is that something you gained later on in building the studio? Yeah. So I'm happy to answer this question.

When God is preparing you for more, he rarely begins with comfort. He stretches your patience, removes distractions, and takes you through seasons of failure that you don't understand. But it's not to punish you. It's to prepare you. Because silence teaches you to hear him. Struggle reveals your strength. And uncertainty builds your faith.

Before God gives you the life that you've been praying for, he shapes you into the person that can actually carry it. So don't mistake this difficult season as rejection. It's just preparation. When did God start playing this role in your life? When did your understanding of your high? power start to act in your life in this way with that kind of wisdom. It really is at your lowest point in life. I know we're all running from rock bottom and

nobody wants to be there or stay there. But that truly is when you get the most inspiration and start to shape into the person that you need to be in order to succeed. If I kept succeeding at all the different things that I was doing, I would have always just spent chasing money, I would have never found purpose, I would have never met the love of my life, I would have never had the beautiful children that I have. My life would not have been where it is today. And if you look at any sort of hard decision in your life, you might have been rejected from the roles, you might have had a relationship go wrong, you might have had a previous book or business flop. But ultimately, if it wasn't for that, you wouldn't have

gotten the role on the office, right? You wouldn't have started this podcast or met your spouse. I don't know if you're married or not, right? So you have to go through these hard times in order to become the person that you're meant to be. And what's really interesting, so going back to my story of being bullied all the time, you know, when I was growing up. So a lot of those people that used to bully me for not fitting in or for being a loser

or an outcast, now a lot of them are trying to be friends with me. And it's funny how it goes. And, you know, one of my favorite quotes is that God will put you back together in front of those that broke you. And so while we're sometimes so humiliated about our mistakes and people judging us, somehow we learn the lessons that we need to learn during those difficult times. and it helps build us into this stronger, better version of ourself. And it happens right in front of those that try to destroy us. And so how I see it is it's similar to when you lift weights and you destroy your muscle, that's essentially what you're doing.

It comes back stronger. As long as you're following the diet, right? As long as you're trying to get better. I look at failures as lessons that I need to learn, right? I don't just see the burden. I see the blessing. And what's interesting is that I've learned that God always answers prayers. The reason that we feel like sometimes he doesn't is because it's not always in the form that we look for.

Because the blessing always comes after the burden. For instance, if I was to ask for strength, would I certainly be given like huge biceps? No, that's not how it works. I would be given situations that are tough that I would have to overcome. that would make me strong. And if I was to ask for courage, would I suddenly become courageous? No, I would have to be in hard situations, uncertain situations, that God knows them capable of overcoming because they don't give you more burden than that he knows that you're capable

of handling. And on the other side of that is where I develop courage. And similarly, if I was to pray for help me feel closer to my family, would I suddenly have these warm, fuzzy feelings all over my body? feel close to them? No, I would actually be given hard situations with my family that would test our ability to overcome them. And when you overcome those situations is really when your actual family comes together and you feel. So God always answers prayers. It's just the blessing always comes after the burden. That is so well said. I've never heard it said that way before. And what a beautiful

metaphor. Like if you pray for strength, God is going to somehow or other in your path metaphorically drop a bunch of resistance bands and dumbbells somewhere in your life that you're going to have to work through somehow and you will come out with the blessing on the other side of the test. It's interesting. I'm writing a book right now on the meaning of life. And one of the chapters I'm just trying to finish up is on suffering and the nature of suffering, why there is suffering. And, you know, the only reason that I can come up for why there is suffering in this world. And I spoke about it with the author, David Bentley Hart, and it is through tests and

difficulties that our soul grows. And we're here in this physical world. It's a soul growing machine. And it's working on our hearts and our souls and our spirits to make them ever stronger. And unfortunately, it is the nature of this physical plane to present us with change, with disaster, natural disasters, with accidents, with cancers and diseases, with hardship, with a, an ever-ongoing struggle between ourselves and our egos. This is the nature of the world. The Buddha got it right. You know, life is suffering.

And hopefully you'll come out on the other side, some measure of gratitude and perspective and wisdom having looked back at those resistance bands. Like without darkness, there wouldn't be light, without sadness, there wouldn't be happiness. And without hate, there wouldn't be love. But if you were growing up, with a kind of a cultural and a patriarchal view

that a man's role is to make money, where did you gain this experience of God that guided you? Yeah, failure. I mean, you know, if, again, if I had not failed. Was you just on your knees praying? Did you go to a church? Oh, my gosh. Is there a certain book you read?

What gave you that idea of a higher power? I specifically remember there was one night that I, I prayed so hard and I prayed so long for God to help me climb out of this hole I was in that I was literally crying and crying for hours. Like that's how hard I had prayed. I was going to the temple every single day. I was praying every single night. I was asking God for light and direction.

It didn't happen by accident. It goes back to what I was saying earlier that people say that you get lucky, but it's not luck. It's you can see the blessings, but you don't see all the nights that I spent praying. You can see all the open doors, but you don't see the closed doors that I was asking God for direction. You could see the outcome, but you don't see all the seasons that God helped hold me together during those tough times. So luck doesn't give you protection, redirection, or help hold you together. Only God does. And so it's not luck.

it's grace. I love that. That was really well said. What or who is God to you? I don't see God as it is this one person or being or, you know, you have to pray to the north and ring the bell to the south and you have to do this five times a day, right? Like I am more of a spiritual person that just believes that, there is a higher power and that really every pathway is a pathway to get there. I think I respect and I love every religion. My wife is Catholic. She's Hispanic and I am Indian Sikh. We raise

our daughters to be aware of like both religions and I want them to learn about all the different religions and see what kind of speaks to them. So to me, I'm very like open minded in that sense. I just know that we're not here by accident. Just kind of going back to our conversation earlier, that if you look at anything, like how was this table made? Okay, well, with wood, well, how was wood made? Okay, with a tree. Well, how was a tree made through a seed?

How was that seed made? You just go, how is this? How would you just go, why, why, why, why, why, how, how, how? You eventually run out of an explanation. At some point in time, you won't be able to say why, except for God. And so to me, that's the greatest proof of all that God is behind all this. I think the acorn metaphor, God gave us possibly the greatest metaphor that exists.

And this goes along with what you're saying is that you can hold up an acorn and you can show a child. And you be like, do you see that tree that's 300 feet tall? Like, it's going to come. It came out of this. Yeah. How did that become that? Right. Potential.

And to talk about, you know, balance like you were saying, like one tree can make a million matches. And one match can burn down a million trees. Ooh, that's good, too. Yeah. A lot of nuggets. A lot of nuggets with darn man. This is sidebar, but it's on my mind because I had a conversation with my son, is 21 about it. This word, you used a long time ago now, like 20 minutes ago, you used the word cringe.

You know, are people going to find my videos cringe? Yeah. And this word has a very special meaning for folks, teenagers and folks in their 20s especially. And my son always uses it. And he's like, I don't want to do that because it's cringe. Or people might think it's cringe. They might think I'm creepy. And it's this generation that's grown up with phones and cameras and documentation and social media everywhere.

where they are afraid to fail in such a way that it will be documented and they will be humiliated. Right at the time, 14, 15, 16, 17, when you care what other people think more than anything else, like you cared about the people in your school as you were driving them home after parties in your in your Cadillac, that's when kids are pointing phones at each other more than ever. I heard this kind of sociologist talk about the fact that young people aren't dancing as much anymore. They're not dancing with each other. It's hard to find people dancing or working on dance, except in like a dance studio. Right.

Just coming together and dances and being silly and dancing. And it's interesting too. Have you ever gone to look at video footage of high school kids in the 90s? They have this on YouTube a lot. They're so unselfconscious. there's someone bringing a camcorder, a big cheap, you know, JVC camcorder into school. And kids are just like goofy and sweaty and falling down and trying to do cartwheels and falling on their asses.

And now there's so much less risk being taken because they don't want to be humiliated. They're not dancing because they don't want someone to film and for them to look stupid and for that to get passed around or put on TikTok and they look like idiots. So it's created this cringe kind of infection that for a generation is preventing them from making mistakes and trying things and falling on their asses. Because there might be a 17 year old listening right now who wants to have a YouTube channel. But they're afraid to fail in that same way that you did at 30 and their friends all laughing at them or making comments in the comment bar. How do we fight cringe? Well, why does cringe exist in the first place?

It actually wasn't because of phones. It wasn't because of social media. It's because of one word. Comments. Like, if you think about why young people like Snapchat so much, you can't see what other people are commenting. It's all direct message that goes directly to the person. So people are a lot more comfortable taking snaps of themselves versus actually posting something on Instagram.

The daily activity there is way higher. And when I meet young people, they often want to post a picture on Snapchat now. So back in the day, if someone was to create a video on one of those camcorders, like, you might have, you know, your uncle's going to see it. You know, in their VHS, like when they're watching the cassette back or something. But you're not going to be able to see all these strangers that are comment. with their different thoughts. But what's interesting is because of the fear of being cringe, it's removed our ability to take chances. And so a lot of people want to start a business. You're worried of failing because people are going to think your idea is cringe. People might

want to write a book. They might want to be an artist. They might want to put out content. But now we have this ever-growing fear of what are people going to think. And it's not just in our close community, it's actually all across the world now. Because even if you're not trying to be on social media, you certainly can be. How many videos do we watch of just a random stranger that happened to be doing something that went viral? And a lot of people will call that person cringe or that person can become famous. But here's what you have to remember is that success is on the other side of cringe. Because cringe is really just being able to take a chance. That's all it is. And what's more interesting is the more successful you get, the cringier you are.

Because take me, for example, I have 170 million followers. I get one and a half billion views per month. Do you know how many people are there watching because they think it's cringe? Or how many people must not like my videos because I have that big of an audience, right? It's like you could become president of the world if even less than half the president of United States, if even less than 50% of the population likes you. Yeah. Right.

So I would say like it's really just think of cringe as your comfort zone and you have to get out of your comfort zone in order to be successful. Is your said than done and easier said than done to for someone who's 16 years old. Right. Where that one comment could. Yeah. Could wound them for for weeks or months. But just think about the person that's commenting that.

Are they creating? Are they making the video? Yeah. Right? They're playing it so safe that they're just always going to do that for the rest of their lives. And I guarantee you that person that's going around commenting cringe is not going to ever do anything meaningful with their life.

It's the person that took chances. And every single creator that I know today, whether it's Mr. Beast or whether it's dude perfect or darman, all of us for a very long time. called cringe. And guess what? We still get called cringe more than ever today. And so you'll never be able to get that to stop. I would say you're just skin gross thicker, the more that you do it. Yeah. And that's how experience and success is really what helps you overcome that. I've shared this before, but early on when I started taking off as an actor on six feet under and on the office, it was the early days of message boards. Yeah. So 2003, 2004, 2005, right in there, 2006.

and I would read the messages. And some of them were, you know, positive. But then it would always be like, that guy looks so weird. What a pig-looking freak. And like, he can't act. And it would just devastate me. I was like, and I was older at that point. It was late 30s.

But I was like, oh. And now, like, I just could. I read all kinds of negative stuff about me online and made up news articles and headlines that are meant to kind of damage my reputation. I don't even. So you know what's interesting. My producer gets all worked up and he's like, oh, no, we got this. And it's like, you know what?

In three days, no one's going to care. It just goes by. It just blows over. Or is what made you more successful in the first place. So I love using Arnold Schwarzenegger as an example of this. So he had three goals, which later turned into four when he added politics. But when he was in Austria, he wanted to be a world champion bodybuilder. He wanted to move to America.

And he wanted to be a big Hollywood actor. So he accomplished his goal of weightlifting, becoming the most successful, one of the most successful bodybuilders in history. Then he moved to America through that. And then when he went to try to be a movie star, a casting director told him, you'll never be a star because stars don't have that kind of accents. People will never accept you in America. Eventually he got casted as the Terminator.

And now after the movie came out, the way that he says, I'll be back, the reason it became such an iconic line is because of his accent and the way that he said it. So what he thought was his biggest struggle actually ended up becoming his biggest superpower. And so whatever we're embarrassed about is actually what makes us more relatable and stand out the most. Yeah. We just should embrace it. And that nerdy background that I was describing to you, with chess and marching band and theater geeks and dungeons and dragons. Yeah.

That allowed me to see into the world of Dwight Shrut, you know? And what I thought was a failing of mine, personal, that I was so nerdy, actually became kind of a super pal. And nerds now are cool. Like, you know, there's a saying that, be nice to nerds because they may end up as your boss one day. That's very true. And I think we're seeing that more than ever. Folks, I have a confession, I will put off making a doctor's appointment for a truly ridiculous amount of time. Not because I don't care about my health, because I just don't want to make the phone call.

You know how it is? You call, you call on hold, you leave a message, someone calls back while you're recording a podcast about the human soul. You call them back. They're at lunch. Three weeks later, whatever was wrong with you has either healed itself or become part of your personality. So a quick word from our sponsor, Zoc Doc, which thankfully makes the whole thing much easier. Zoc Doc lets you search and compare high quality in network doctors. You can read reviews from real patients and detailed doctor profiles.

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Zuck, doc. This episode is brought to you by Fetzer. You know, there's this tendency in modern life to believe that every problem has a material solution. More technology, more productivity, more money, more apps reminding you to breathe while you ignore the fact that your soul feels like a raisin. But the folks at the Fetzer Institute

believe something deeper. They believe that behind humanity's biggest challenges are spiritual ones. Loneliness, division, disconnection, our inability to see each other, the planet, or even ourselves, as sacred, and they're asking a really beautiful question. What if shared flourishing begins with the sacred? Fetzer supports stories, communities, and spiritual solutions from people around the world who are healing division, caring for the Earth, and creating deeper human connection through faith, spirituality, and reverence for love itself.

Not dogma, not forcing one belief system, just the radical idea that, hey, maybe, the soul matters. Honestly, that's a conversation we care deeply about here at Soul Boom. You can explore their spiritual solutions library and learn more at Fetzer.org. That's Fetzer. That's Fetzer. Thanks, Fetzer. If you Google you online, there's some negative press. There's some shit you've gone through. Yeah. You've taken some real reputational dings. Your whole story is about how do we learn to become better people, better leaders, how to learn from our mistakes. How do we grow? How do you feel kind of looking back at that? And by the way, I'm not so far off. You know, just dig a little bit deep in Google and, you know, there's,

you know, there's definitely some reputational dings back there. How have you processed that? How are you moving forward? I think I heard you in a podcast actually say that I've made a lot of mistakes. I don't have as many regrets. Because, those mistakes actually help shape you as to who you are, again, as long as you learn from them. I look at failure, the way that Ray Dalio describes it, the author of Principles of Founder of Blackstone. He talks about failure as you play in a video game where there's different gems in the game. And he sees the gems as failure, that every time you collect a gem, you become 1% stronger. And so the best leaders don't try to avoid failure.

They actually embrace it because they realize that it helps them become stronger and better. And so, yeah, you know, for a long time, I just, I didn't have the best direction. I was chasing the wrong things. I was doing things for the money, not the mission. And that led me to a lot of bad decisions. Taking some shortcuts. And hopefully you're making some better decisions now. Yeah, exactly. Like, if you don't know what's wrong, then how do you know what's right? And a lot of times people get taught that in an early age. Maybe some people have some great intuition. I didn't have that. And I had to learn the hard way. But I think what is the most important part is like, where do you go from there? Do you continue making those same mistakes? Or do you take your failures and realize that, hey, that was not the right path. Now I want to get on a right path. And so,

So ironically, dar man's stories for anyone that's ever seen one. It's all about an underdog who has the odds stacked against him. And through failure and hardship, that's where they learn these important lessons in order to become the person that they need to be to finally go and succeed. It's the hero's journey. And what's ironic is my own story is one of the best darn man stories because it's of a guy who failed over. and over and over again and eventually learn the lessons that he needed to learn in order to be successful and how many times did you draw on those personal stories of yours as content for the videos of the hundreds and hundreds thousands of content dozens and dozens of times i just approved

a story today that was based on my life experience i can't remember the name offhand that's again the three, four hours of sleep. Okay, because it started with the title. It has started with the title. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if I look at my notes, I'll find it. But so much of my experience is what's inspired, some of our best stories.

And, you know, what makes for a great story? The audience is able to see themselves through the characters that you build. And what makes something relatable? Well, if I have lived it, chances are a lot of people have also lived it or felt the way that I have. Yeah. So the reason that our audience feels like our stories are so relatable is because, because it did come from real life.

I know for me, being able to share about mental health struggles that I've had, that's only part of my journey. Yeah. It's even a smallish part of my journey, but it's a very real part of my journey. Right.

But that has meant so much to young listeners and viewers and when I speak on college campuses. They're like, holy shit, this guy's a successful actor and TV and film and whatnot. Right. Went through what I'm going through, went through depression, anxiety, OCD, you name it.

Yeah. Like, I kind of feel that's part of my, that's become part of my purpose and my mission. It wasn't what I started. Yeah. But it has, it has really meant a lot to folks. And I do think that the, you know, tests are described kind of in spiritual traditions as like the tree that's pruned the most is the one that blossoms the most, right? The ground that's tilled the most is the ground that becomes the most fertile.

The gold that's burned the most, becomes the most purified. But going through this process isn't about coming out on the other side, inured, immune, and kind of like hyper-strong and filled with willpower. humility and vulnerability are part of the, it's part of the gig, you know, as part of the journey. And it's in real humility that compassion grows. And you're able to have more compassion for other people.

And I think that can positively impact your work. So for me, so many times getting my head hit against the sidewalk, whether it's in failures, whether it's in show business, whether it's with addiction or what have you. is like get fucking humble, man. Get fucking humble. And out of that, there is, it's a different kind of strength. It may not be the kind of strength you see portrayed in social media or in film.

But it's, it's a wise centered strength with a strong rudder underneath it. Wow, that was very beautifully said. Thanks, man. You can use that as a clip. Yeah, I'll use that as a clip. All right. So you've spent years and years kind of honing your storytelling abilities. And you're a kindness ambassador for the NFL?

What the hell's that? What's going on there? I'm the chief kindness officer for the 2026 Super Bowl. And now it's for the whole new 2026, 2027 season. Wow. That sounds fun. Do you get like a badge or a hat or something? Yeah.

You get that? Get some custom shoes, but more importantly, you get the chance to really help change people's lives. Like, you know, for instance, there was this boy who had lost his father. And the father, while he was on his deathbed, promised his son that before I pass, I'm going to take you to your first Super Bowl. Unfortunately, he'd ever made it that far. And we heard about this story. And so we went and we surprised the son with tickets for him and his mom. And we said just because your father couldn't deliver that promise doesn't mean that your mother can't.

And so both of them went and it was this big emotional experience. So we've been able to bring stories like that to life. And it's been a really special thing. That's beautiful. Yeah. You're not a 49ers fan, are you? No, I'm a Rams fan. Rams fan.

Yeah. I'm a Seahawks fan. So I'm really happy for that little kid. Yeah. Oh, you're a Seahawks fan. Wow. What a year for you. Yeah, yeah.

Great. You're an Knicks fan. So come on. Wow. Now I know why all these teams are winning. What a year. Exactly. I'm the common link.

Let me go back to this other thing. So many themes in the stories that you tell are about kindness, about forgiveness, about compassion, underdog stories, about growing up, maturing, gaining wisdom, personal responsibility. I would view all of those as spiritual virtues and qualities. And as you know, my book, Soul Boom, it's like why we need a spiritual revolution. So is that what you're being a part of? And if so, what can we do to add to a spiritual revolution? You know, I think you first have to find yourself, then you can help others find themselves.

And so all I'm trying to do is be better every single day and then be an example for my children, be an example for my audience when I create content and embody that person that I'm trying to be. But I would say it really comes down to the classic golden rule, do on to others as you want done to you. And I have seen this play out over and over in my life that the universe, whatever you put out into the world, always comes back to you. And so now, having gone through the mistakes that I've made in life, I believe in radical transparency and radical honesty. I'll give you an example. I found out from a network that they were sending us deposits. for our viewership and performance on their platform. But they had already prepaid and gave us a minimum guarantee.

And so they weren't supposed to be sending these monthly payments. And so my accounting department asked me, they're just like, hey, what do we do? They prepaid us, but they're still paying us these payments. Immediately, I was like, give it back. You have to tell them that you prepaid us. They caught the error. They figured out what happened. They were so thankful about it.

that next season when our contract expired, they tripled my contract. And I can't say it was because of that, right? I'm certainly, it certainly helped build trust in their eyes, but also I just feel like that was God testing me to do the right thing. And because I did the right thing, it's coming back to me threefold or tenfold. And I feel like we're faced with opportunities like that all the time. Sometimes we can get discouraged because you are a good person and good things. aren't happening to you, but it's only a matter of time. Just because it's not happening right now

doesn't mean that God isn't preparing you for something much better to come in the future. Because that's what I was going to say. There might be people listening right now. They're like, I always try and do the right thing. And yet it never works out. Right. I keep getting doors slammed in my face. Right. But you never know when at any point in time, that phone call could come, that door could be knocked, that piece of video. Your brother-in-law could go viral. coming on Facebook behind you and you get that brilliant idea you never know um we use the word soul a lot here and uh what does that word mean to you i was looking at this quote and it said we are not humans having a spiritual experience we are we're not human beings having a

spiritual experience we are spiritual beings having a human experience and so i think it's just the energy that we carry within our bodies that go beyond. Like you're probably better at answering this question, but I would just say, yeah, I think of that quote. That's one of my favorite quotes. Yeah. Father Teilhard de Chardiname, a Jesuit priest. Yeah.

I said that. I always quote it. And I think about it a lot because when I am a little bit lost and out of of balance when I remember that I'm a spiritual being having a human experience. And by the way, Dar, it's really hard to have a human experience. Yeah. Yeah. There's failings and difficulties and achy knees and digestive problems and people won't

behave the way you want them to and dishwashers break. You know what I mean? Rent's tough to make. It's hard to be a human being. But when I remember I'm a spiritual being having a human experience, that helps me. Take the journey a little lighter. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah.

Such a pleasure getting to know you. Thanks for coming on the show. Yeah, this was amazing. I was not expecting in such a wonderful conversation. You weren't. What's wrong with you? On my three, four hours of sleep, I wasn't sure I'd be able to perform. You did great. You did great. Without any caffeine, might I add. Yeah. Well done. Thank you so much. Appreciate it. Thanks. Yeah. Soul Boom is also on Spotify video. If you've got Spotify premium, you can enjoy it free of Spotify ads. If you don't, you'll get even less ads if you hit subscribe to Soul Boom. Also enjoy on

YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Pandora, or wherever else you get your stupid podcasts.