Soul Boom - Do Jews Believe in Souls? Ari Shaffir’s Crisis of Faith

Episode Date: February 11, 2025

Comedian Ari Shaffir (America's Sweetheart, JEW) joins Rainn Wilson for an unfiltered conversation about faith, comedy, and mental health. Known for his no-holds-barred stand-up, Ari shares his journey from being an Orthodox Jewish yeshiva student to an outspoken atheist. They dive into his personal battle with depression, how psychedelics shifted his perspective on existence, and why he believes the concept of a soul is a mystery. Plus, Rainn and Ari debate whether religion is a force for good—or just another human-made construct. Ari hosts The Skeptic Tank podcast and his latest Netflix special America’s Sweetheart tackles taboo topics with his signature irreverence, following up his previous special YouTube special 'JEW,' which explored his Orthodox upbringing and departure from faith. Thank you to our sponsors! Calm (40% OFF a Premium Subscription!): https://calm.com/soulboom MERCH OUT NOW! https://soulboomstore.myshopify.com/ God-Shaped Hole Mug: https://bit.ly/GodShapedHoleMug Sign up for our newsletter! https://soulboom.substack.com SUBSCRIBE to Soul Boom!! https://bit.ly/Subscribe2SoulBoom Watch our Clips: https://bit.ly/SoulBoomCLIPS Watch WISDOM DUMP: https://bit.ly/WISDOMDUMP Follow us! Instagram: http://instagram.com/soulboom TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@soulboom Sponsor Soul Boom: [e-mail] Work with Soul Boom: [e-mail] Send Fan Creations, Questions, Comments: [e-mail] Produced by: Kartik Chainani Executive Produced by: Ford Bowers, Samah Tokmachi Companion Arts Production Supervisor: Mike O'Brien Voicing Change Media Theme Music by: Marcos Moscat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You're listening to soul. It's nothing. There is no soul. But that's the only part of you that keeps you alive. You can bring a car back to life. But you can't bring a body back. What is that thing that makes an actual life? Once it's gone, it's gone forever. I don't know.

It's a good question. You're not sounding very atheistic right now. It's not atheism. I want to make a new word. Maybe you can help. Okay. Your dad is a Holocaust survivor, as is your grandfather. I was looking back at a thousands-year-old religion. And then it was like, oh, maybe I don't believe in any of this.

That religious aria is way gone. Hey there, it's me, Rain Wilson. And I want to dig into the human experience. I want to have conversations about a spiritual revolution. Let's get deep with our favorite thinkers, friends, and entertainers about life, meaning, and idiocy. Welcome to the Soul Boom podcast. Explain the shirt here. Let's go.

Well, the mushroom says, Bert is fat. I know Bert Pryor. Oh, well, then you're aware that he's fat. He is fat. Yeah. I don't need a mushroom to tell me that. What's the story?

I don't know. Somebody made it in Cleveland, some fan. So I kind of love the shirt. It's just speaks to you, man. It tells you the truth. Yeah. So bird is fat. There you have it.

There you have it. I was really excited to have you on this show, you know, a big fan from way back, you know, cringing as I watched The Amazing Racist. And, you know, a fascinating story. And there's a lot I want to get to, but I just want to share my Jewish heritage with you. Okay. I didn't know you were. Look, look at me.

Drink me in right now. Yeah. I'm the biggest, whitest, most like. Yeah, it could have been in the tower. Blandest. Exactly. I would. And I'm still available.

It's available to play Nazis. Yeah. But my grandmother. The shower's broken. Come in here and fucking fix these pipes. I would be the Nazi plumber. Yeah. That would be, yeah.

Not the evil Nazi. What was your grandmother? Marie Nunberg. Oh, yeah. And my aunt is sure and has done the genealogy and she's Jewish. And then the rest of the family was just like, she's not Jewish. She's not Jewish. She's not.

She's like, her name is Marie Nunberg. She's from Nunberg or Nernberg or Northern Roman. and I heard the podcast episode with your with your dad about the Holocaust and it was right in is right in that same area. Wow. Transylvania kind of area that that she was from. And I know that doesn't count because she's my dad's mom. It counts a little.

A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. My dad had jet black hair. Yeah. He had a little more some more Jewish features. Tim, you know there's a bunch of people online now going like, this is how we got the office. It must be that.

Maybe you get tired about talking about this. first of all, you've got a new comedy special, America's sweetheart, you have the best comedy special names ever, America's sweetheart, and the one before this one was called Jew. Check it out. I have to go there. I know you've talked about it a thousand times, but you grew up Orthodox Jew.

You were studying in Jerusalem. Your dad is a Holocaust survivor, as is your grandfather. Incredible, incredible story. You made some jokes in your special Jew about the difference between Hasidic Jews and Orthodox Jews. Hachydides. This is part of Jew and A.

Yeah, we looked hot. They were better than us, Jewish-wise. But they were crazy. Okay. You're like, no, that's the high, they're doing more. They wouldn't hold hands.

But again, I saw in Montreal once, a Hasidic Jewish guy just letting out a hooker out of his car. And it looks wrong because they're dressed like rabbis. He's not, but it's like,

they still have their desires. Sure. You know? Of course. I mean, the priesthood is full of that. You know, where it's like, it doesn't go away.

A couple of friends go through rehab and they've talked about Hasidic Jews in rehab. Do I mean? Some, you know, all kinds of stuff going on. They don't get any release. Yeah. So like a lot of the subway masturbators, I would say a higher than average. Plus you have the robes too, so that helps. You get through, you hide it.

Yeah, nothing's moving. Easy peasy. Whenever I want a subway masturbate, I dress like a Hasidic Jew. Oh, that's the way. Yeah, then no one looks at you. And then I channel Marine Nunberg and it all works out. Yeah, they were like better Jews than us and more into it. And then also they had the system of like you give charities so that they can study the

Talmud for you, kind of like a co-op, like a weed co-op, you know, where it's like, 10 of you grow, I'll be part of it, I'll buy. So like you guys study the Torah, I can't, I got to go to work. And so you just pay for them to live. How do you go from there to like Netflix starring stand-up comedy? How do you go from Yushiva? you go to University of Maryland. What are you studying there?

Yeah, so I had this crisis of faith. I think that was the- And that happened in Israel? That happened in Israel. And it didn't like- And was it all of a sudden? It was kind of like, this is bullshit or there's no God?

Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag at me. Like, hey, how come I don't believe in this as much as everyone else? There's a book on introversion, Quiet, Susan Kane wrote it. And it's just like, hey, do you ever feel like you're not having quite as much fun at a nightclub as everyone else?

And you can't quite put your pin on it, like figure it out. Because you're an introvert. and it's a third of the world, and you're not supposed to be there. Something's nagging at you, but you don't know what it is until you see it put into words. And so it was like nagging at me,

but until you could hear it or so, and then it was like, oh, maybe I don't believe in any of this. So it was when I got back here, went to Yeshiva University, a split curriculum college in New York. And I'm like, I think I'm out. And you're still partially doing Jewish studies.

I'm doing it all. I'm fucking up more and more. No, actually, that had not happened yet. I was still doing it all, but I was like having doubts. And then when I was like, I think I'm out, I had to do everything, I had to do stuff quietly. So I'd lock myself in my dorm and watch like next generation. But on like one on my like TV VCR in the dorm.

Star Trek the next generation? Yeah. That was, that was your gateway drug? It was Friday night. It was on and I loved it. Data had a lot of points. I love that.

Yeah. But I'd like piss in a jar and keep it in my mini fridge because if they knew I was in the dorm, they'd be like, where were you at service? so I just didn't want to get into it. So, yeah, that started a lifetime of pissing in jars on podcasts. And then I got out. And then I had to deal with the long period of like, first like agnosticism, then hard atheism.

You guys are idiots. And I think this is a common path, actually. And now I want to make a new word. Maybe you can help. Okay. Let's apply it to hockey. Some people love hockey and some people like fucking. hate hockey. And somebody would be like, oh, I don't think twice about hockey. No one in the Congo

thinks about hockey if it's a good sport or not. Yeah, yeah. They just don't think about it. So it's not atheism. It's a, I don't care. Okay. That's where I'm at now. Where it's like, I'm interested a little bit to hear about Baha'i or whatever. But I'm like, I don't know. It's just like, I'm not like, maybe I just don't know. It's like, I don't want to talk about it. Okay. So I think that has been another word, a disinterested in religion rather than I'm not sure. I would say using the hockey analogy, I really never think about hockey. I don't give a fuck about hockey. Yeah. But when I see

a hockey game on TV or in a bar or something like that, and they stop the game and they start punching each other, I'm like, this is ludicrous. And maybe that, yeah, you can find that. So that kind of works to religion in a way, kind of like, wait a second. Can you imagine this in any other sport? Even the NFL, stopping it and like two linebackers, like going at it. Like, give them some space,

let them blow off some steam. It's preposterous. Let them go to the ground. You know, and that's a lot in religion. And so you kind of do that with religion. It's like, I don't think about it. I don't think about it. I don't think about God. And then you see something.

You're like, wait a second. What are you guys doing? Come on. Yeah. It's like that's so stupid, but I mean, do what you want? You're speaking in tongues? Like, really? Do you think that you're being possessed by a demon?

Yeah. I know you're lying. Yeah. You're just going, I don't like out. Yeah. It's fun to break down what these things were. Also, this is an idea of the golem is like a protector. made out of mud and you carved the name Emmett,

which is truth in his forehead. Right. And then he protects you and pregrims. Like when you really need like a boogeyman to come and like... It's the original kind of zombie. The original Frankenstein was the golem. Yeah. And then you rub out the E from his forehead from Emmett

and it just spells met, which is death, and then it turns back into like dirt. That's kind of cool. That's science fiction. Yeah. So somebody was like, so where does that come from? That didn't happen, right? If you don't think that's real,

Yeah. And what was it? What was it based on? Yeah. You know, was the flood? Was it a great flood for the whole world? It was just that region. Or maybe it's just that region.

You didn't know the whole world existed. So you think this must be everywhere. Yeah. And it wasn't. Somebody said it was like the original like MK Ultra and you had Down syndrome kids and try to like get them early and try to train them to attack. Wait, Ghaloms was the training of Down syndrome kids to be violent against the Russians. Yeah.

I guess the Russians and the Polish. Yeah. And you had like all. whole troop of them and you're like attack. Yeah, when I say the word. And they're like, okay. Yeah. They actually had a wrestler, Eugene, who had more strength than you would think he would

in the WWB for a while. He wasn't as big as the other guys, but he was just stronger. He was downs. Not really. He was just playing it. Wait, there was a wrestler pretending to have down syndrome. Bro, it's one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. Eugene, he could beat up.

And the only way that people would beat him was to convince him that, like, no, no, We're friends. We're not really fighting. But then if he, like, thought the fight was fun, that he'd go too hard. That's amazing. Yeah. Do you have any connection from your Orthodox past to your Yeshiva training to you at open mics? It's a pretty rare path.

Come on. Yeah. Yeah. Not a lot. It's not a lot. So it wasn't anybody to really lean on for that. Couple, like, religious. I mean, a lot of secular Jews.

Obviously in Hollywood, hello. Yeah. Yeah. But it was that, like, you were really religious, was like, you came across an occasional agent or something that was. And you're like, oh. Yeah. But they don't have to.

I mean, my rabbi told me, like, can you not perform on Friday? I'm like, I mean, that's one of the bigger nights. And he goes, can you do it in a shinoy, which is like a strangest? If you absolutely have to do something. Yeah. Like, let's say you're having a heart attack and I got to drive you to the hospital. Yeah. We're not waiting.

It's like you got it. There's no like you can't drive on the Sabbath. Like if someone's dying. Yeah, you have to help. But try to drive with your left hand. I said you're right. Do something strangely you're aware of it.

He goes, can you pick up the mic with your elbows? And I'm like, no. Who is this rabbi that we're talking to? I was still talking to my rabbi from seminary. He was trying to get me back slowly. In Israel or in New York?

Yeah. And then when he came through. You were in L.A. doing open mics talking to your rabbi in Jerusalem. Yeah. What were those conversations like? He was, he cared about me.

He took to me. So it was like, it was just one of the Ravas, but he always like really like me. Do you still keep in touch? No, I need to. But he would come in for like recruiting visits and then like, let's go out. I wonder if I ever brought him to a comedy club. I think I did. It's like, it's a little cursy.

But he was like, I'm proud of you. Yeah. You know, my parents too, they're like, listen, we don't like these jokes about fucking chicks with herpes, but we like that you're getting laughs. You're being successful. That's nice. We're proud of our son, you know, the content.

That's great. A lot of parents would not. Take that step. Yeah. It must have been so alien. Did you bring your dad, the Holocaust survivor? When's the first time he saw you do stand up? He's come.

They came to the DC improv a few times. So, it's so nerve-wracking. Oh my gosh. So nerve-wrack. Do you change your set a little bit knowing he's there? No, but I remember once he came on the Jew tour and there was a joke I didn't fully do about him finding out that I'm not religious. And I was like really worried.

I'm like, maybe I should take this out. I don't want to bring anybody any pain. What's the joke? Just about him saying, lower than a dog because even a dog believes in God. Yeah. And then just going like, there's no studies on that. Where's the data on that?

Who says that? Yeah. But we are totally cool. Now I just added more stuff like it's, we're fine. We're totally, it was just a brief like trying to wrap your head around it. But with stand up nowadays, you gotta kind of worry about who else is gonna be involved. Like I can't tell a story about you and me going to get hookers into you wanna without and use your name. That never happened.

But like, yeah, I use your name without knowing like, oh, this might get him in trouble this chick. Right. Like, okay. But it's also, it's also ground for, grounds for lawsuit. I had, I wrote a book and I talked about me and my friend doing drugs and they were like, you have to like get your friend to sign off like literally on an email saying yes, it's fine for you to do that. Right. Yeah. So it's like you got to worry about this stuff now. I didn't used to because it was so like small. You're performing for 30 people at a time. Yeah. Who would find out that you, that chick you had a crush on in grade school. They're not going to find it, but then like Shane Gillis had one where he's talking about some chick dumping him in school,

like in grade school. And then they, like, found her and started to be like, you fucked up, you dumped shit. And he was like, oh my God, they started like, do her and do that. We were in eighth grade, you lunatics. Wow. So it's like you've got to like suddenly worry.

Another aspect of your story that I find fascinating and I've seen you speak about it in a couple of interviews, including Joe Rogan, about your mental health issues, very serious. depression and suicide stuff. When did that hit you? Was that always, was that a constant?

No, it hit. I don't know, it just hit. I don't know when, what sets it off? You weren't, were you in no kind of therapy, no kind of medication through the early 2000s doing comedy? Yeah, I took a little bit of riddle in high school. They tried, that was when they were prescribing

every middle class child who wasn't getting A's. They were like, let's get them on time test, let's get him some riddle. I didn't take to it. But only for like a few months, even, not even six months, I don't think. But then nothing. And then it just set, I think it was living with the lady, broke up, she moved out. That might, try to tell people like, it's not, it's not about how traumatic it is.

It's just, you just got a sprain of your brain. And you need to set it to fix. And until you set it to fix, it just doesn't fix. And you can sprain your ankle playing like high level basketball or just walking down the curb, you know? So there's no like that made you get depression or whatever. It's like there's no that. But that was like an inciting incident. That was like a trigger incident that's.

Possibly. So there's a few. Either she left shifted my world a little bit where it just kind of shakes it up where then you rattled or very possibly hair lost drugs that there's tons of studies now. There's causing depression. Whoa, like what is it called? The other one. Propitia.

Propitia. Not the rub on one, but the pills. Wow. Yeah. And so there's tons of lawsuits. So it's kind of one of the few like ads I won't take on my podcast. Because I'm like, I don't, I think you guys are fucking with people. That and like gambling stuff. And I'm like, nah. Yeah. I don't anybody getting hurt from meets making some money. Right. So it was one of those two things, I think. And then it just, and even if the causing factor changes, the, you still, it still stays. It sparked something. Yeah. Like if you did, you know.

And what year was this? This was probably like six, seven, seven, eight years into comedy. So probably 2005, six. Career wasn't going particularly well, but it wasn't that. It was still like I was having fun. Success was always a 10-year. Did you feel it chemically? How did it manifest itself?

Everything was a damper. I wouldn't leave my apartment for a while after that chick left. And then my friend David Taylor had to come over and be like, just knock on my door, who lived down the street in the store. from a comedy store. I was to pink dot. And then he was like, open up. And I'm like, no.

And he's like, open up. And I would start hoarding. I just like would collect everything. I stopped cleaning when she took over that responsibility. And then when she left, it was just out of my realm of ability to do it. So stuff would just pile up. I had to throw some plates away because it was so kicked on with like macaroni and cheese.

Was it a serious heartbreak? No, wasn't even that bad. Yeah. So that's why it's like it wasn't even like. But it just, it just set it off and there might have been some other yeah and it might have been the pills it really might have been i had a friend recently who talked about taking ozempe and it made him

really depressed like he got like like within two weeks he was like suicidal wow and then and then went off it and and feels fine and the doctor's like well haven't heard of that before but you know maybe it happened i don't know but they're also the ozama people aren't i mean we're learning more and more about pharmaceutical companies and their lack of care about us. Oh, sure. So they're not going to really make sure to tell the doctors like, but hey, be careful if you, you know, watch out for these signs. Yeah. I mean, if you bar my car, I'm like, hey, the brakes are shitty right now. So don't, you know, I should warn you instead of going, I don't know those breaks are shitty. I'm not. I don't know. Every side effect, they just skate past. Yeah. Anyway. So whatever it was,

but it just wouldn't fix. And everything was just damper. Have you had depression ever? I have, yeah. More anxiety, but I've gone through some real depression stuff. How did you get out of it? Did you go to therapy? I know Joe Rogan told that story about needing to get you help. Yeah, he's such a friend. But like it was just like the good days would be okay. I mean, the great days would be okay and the bad days would be terrible. Everything was just like a step down, right? If your team won a title, you'd be like, all right. Instead of like selling for a month, you know. Everybody could see it on me.

I couldn't hide it. I was trying to hide it, but I couldn't. Did you go to therapy? Did you? So I tried. SAG insurance. You were pretty broke? Yeah.

So I had, I doing commercials here, there. So I had the SAG insurance. And for the health, it was pretty good. For mental health, it was pretty shitty. I remember back when I paid for like 10 sessions a year or something like that. And like how? Not quite enough at all.

How's that gonna work? Should I go once a week? Like, yeah, you should. But then everyone that I tried to go to is also mental health is kind of weird that like the best ones don't take insurance. Like regular doctors, I don't think maybe the high, high level brain surgeons don't take insurance. I don't know. But in mental health, it's like if you really want to get, but I didn't have the money to get it off. And I assumed every doctor was good.

I didn't know there were levels of doctors. Right. I was actually talking to Rogan's manager, a friend of mine. And I was just talking about stuff. And I was like, yeah, I started going to therapy and then mentioning like the suicidal thoughts. And she goes, have you mentioned that to them? I'm like, do you think they'd be interested in that?

She was like, just bring it up. Let's see it. Maybe they would. I don't know. Yeah, just like resign. And one therapist go, tried one pill, tried another pill. I'm like, it's not working. And then she just goes, well, then I don't know, man.

And just like pretty much like gave up on me. And I wasn't willing to fight for it. So I was like, got it loud and clear. I'll work up the courage. I'll get it. I'll get it when I get it. But I'd walk under like construction sites like hoping a fucking brick would fall. Yeah.

Hoping it would take care of what. Turbulence on planes was a joy because I'm like, do it. Do it for me. You know, it was like actually kind of fun. But this new special I'm trying to look at the positives and everything. And man, that depression really maybe. I had a therapist actually tell me that. A good one.

He was like, he goes, so Rogan paid for the one that prescribes stuff. Yeah, psychiatrist. Psychiatrist. And then a good therapist. Yeah. And a good therapist guy was like, what's the positive from this? And I'm like, no, it's terrible. I know it's terrible.

But is there any part of it that's good? And I was like, well, I guess I'm looking at the world in a more bleak way. And that can translate to my stand up in a solid way. like to see like the under belly of things and be able to make fun of it is fun like if you look at politics and like they're all great it's not as funny as like they're all crooks you know so i was like oh that helps in that way goes okay use that as the first ladder and start trying to like mentally what all the positives are there but it was just the pills it was try this try this what did you land on lexsa pro or it's alexa

There was one. Well, Butrin. Well, butyton I took for a while. Didn't know about the sexual side effects. Okay. So those are like, how much could you put up with? And also, like, are you feeling better even? You got to give it like a month before it'll catch in or not slowly raise the dose.

When I was on Lexa Pro, it took out the lowest lows, but it didn't necessarily relieve depression. Right. Do you know what I mean? Uh-huh. So, which was nice to not have the lower lows. Right. But.

There was one that I took. He said it was an 80s drug that went out of popularity. Mm-hmm. But because the side effect was weight gain. It would give you hyperphasia. Okay. Which, what a time. It was the inability to feel full.

Oh, damn. Yeah. Bro. The late night. And we couple that with weed. And it's just like, I'd have to tell myself, like, hey, man, seven plates of spaghetti is enough, right? Like, you know this means full.

Two plates is plenty. And I would clean out everything and make combos and just like bagels and cherries and peanut butter. What did you weigh compared to now? He said, expect to gain 15% of your body weight. But I was pretty thin. I was, so I probably went up to probably 10 pounds over what I am now. Okay. So I was like, not that bad.

I can live with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No coming is like actually, you don't want to like seem shallow, but that's like a legit problem. It's for real. Yeah. Getting to like, I don't know, Oklahoma weight is like, okay, I can do that. You know, Cleveland weight. Less than Cleveland weight.

So how long were you on that? Probably seven, eight years. And then it was like. It helped you turn to corner. Once I got, it was like, oh, old self. It was like 25 milligrams, 50 milligrams, 75, I think it was 75 milligrams. I think it was 75 milligrams. Try this for two weeks.

And then it was like three days there. Like, boom, wow, I'm back. Yeah. And it wasn't like these massive highs and it wasn't like zips if I don't take it. It was like an ongoing thing and I just felt fine. I had the ability to feel some happiness. Some joy. Yeah.

And it took away the lows like you said. Were you coupling this with therapy at the same time? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What did you unpack in therapy? Some. But it's like the standup is a therapeutic thing.

You can deal with your problems. And you have to kind of look at yourself in an honest way. Unless you're just a joke. guy where you never look at yourself but any like it's about me stuff you have to look at how silly you are in certain moments or why you're doing things the way you were with an ex you're like you can expect and mushrooms help too where you can like without ego look at different characters and their faults and their joys and like oh one of those characters is me like you know and i know that character better than anyone's ever known any character so you're like you can judge

them and like, let me change that. So that helped. But it was like, well, your dad was a hog. That must have been hard for you. I'm like, mm, I know. Yeah.

A couple of therapists. So it wasn't a lot of childhood stuff that you need to go. Yeah, it wasn't. Not a lot of childhood. I worked it out. I learned how to cook. It's fine. I don't care.

You know. You had a loving family and a loving community. Yeah. Exactly. So like if you look at that as a negative, it was like, my mom once was like crying. Because I had a non-loving family and a non-loving community. Yeah, that must have been shitty.

And I've had 20. And I've had 20 years of therapy to get to get into that. Yeah. Sometimes, I mean, there's a plot point in like half the movies now, trauma, trauma porn. Yeah. I kind of hate it. Trauma is that word like trauma. Yeah.

It's such a hack. At this point, it's like stop, right? A better storyline. Uh-huh. But like my mom was like upset because she had to have a job at some point. She wasn't home when we got out of school. And she was like really shaken up by it one day. She was like sharing herself.

And I was like, mom, I learned. how to cook. It's fine. I don't care at all. I saw you at seven. I didn't, I wasn't thinking that's like, oh, these other kids have their moms at home when they get off school. I just didn't even think about it. Like, chill. So, like, you could find trauma if you want, but, like, it just wasn't there. Yeah, I'm pretty well adjusted. And you weaned yourself off that? So then after, like, seven, eight years. Yeah. I was dating this artist, great artist, Ashley McCombie. And she was, like, going through it all with me, very understanding about everything. And then I was worried because the doctor, the psychiatrist,

the one who's prescribed said, just so you know, if you go off, you have to do it with somebody because you can get suicidal if you go off too quick. Wow. Bertie Stevens, rest in peace. That's what he did. So I heard that story before. Yeah. And he told us too. He's like, I'm going off. We're like, that's troubling. We should have. We could have. You know, the thing is like, nothing I could have done. We could have done something. We saw some signs. I just didn't know what to look for. But I don't get into that. But like, so like, hey, all my friends, check up on me. If you see me start interacting erratically. Yeah. Let me know. And here's the doctor's number, let him know. But he said also, if you go off it and the symptoms come back with just, just depression

again. He goes, there's a chance it won't work again if you go back on it. Oh. So. That's scary. Yeah, like how. And you tried so many other drugs, too. Right. So I'm like, I don't know if I'll be able to get back on this. But he said it is like a sprain. and he goes, you should, the amount of time you spent depressed, I think there was a formula where like half that time or double that time, whatever it was on the pills, should set the sprain. So if you had three years depressed

and the seven years on the pill, then it should be healed. At some point when they take the cast off, they have to take it off first and go, does that hurt, you know? But some people have a chemical imbalance and for the rest of their lives, they've got to kind of balance medication.

Yeah, and I don't know which ones are which. Doctors now. So, but I was like, hadn't been in love in a while. And it was like nagging at me. I was like, it might be these pills. So I was like, I think I want to try. Are you in love now?

Yeah. Wow, cool. Yeah, but it's been a few times since then. But yeah, and I was like, that seems wrong. So I was like, let me try. My doctor was like, yeah, for sure. And no problems at all. Wow.

Love life. Have your bad days, your blue days, but not like it was. And then remember the first time, like after you get on the right pill, and you like get like an anxious day, you know, like, please don't let this be forever again. You're like, no, no, no, you just have a deadline. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, the overlap for depression, anxiety is like,

did going off the pill allow you to feel more emotions? Yeah, yeah, the higher's got high. Yeah, a broader range, yes. Yeah, it turned up the color. Right. And so it was like the depression was gone before, but now it was like, oh, all the joy was like, really. The hair was lovely.

And then I had missed it for so long. You ever see those videos of those kids hearing for the first time. Yeah, yeah, like the cochlear implant. that's yeah yeah it's like what the fuck you know that's how it felt again was like i haven't seen you in so long yeah like pure joy not as good as down syndrome kid plays football he saw the new one yeah i saw your new special it was great tell us about the new special american sweetheart i can't believe i can't believe what you get away with and i don't know how you get away with it i don't know why, because I have a tendency sometimes to kind of like liberal knee jerk judgment, you know,

and there's just a, it's not something I'm proud of. But you're, the number of like shibboliffs that you, that you go for is insane, including Down syndrome kids, but somehow you make it funny. And somehow I feel like you're not going to, like any other comic telling those jokes would get eviscerated in the, in the, in the, press and I feel like you're just gonna you're gonna coast by I try to cross my T's and dot my eyes also you've seen the final product so along the way was a lot of angry walkouts oh wow a lot of like complaints to clubs until you tweak and tweak and tweak learn how to smile on the right tone in the right and a little apology statement here and there a touch yeah but then also like I just would

rather get a laugh out of a school shooting than out of traffic right I just get more joy out of knowing the risk of somebody leaving angry and writing, like, but if you can get there, if you risk it and you lose, it does suck. It just feels bad. I had a bouncer at the- I mean, you do a whole session on Kanye West's anti-Semitism. That is pretty, I mean, it's delicious and it just is. Yeah, people don't want to think that way. Yeah.

I mean, I've gotten to fights. I try to take the opposite viewpoint, a lot. You're like, I'm glad Kanye is anti-Semitic. He's got some good points. And we want him a little crazy because that makes, to make the best music. Yeah, that's what artists. Artists are nuts.

And we shouldn't be asking them to not be nuts. That we're not going to get good art. They're loony bids. That's what makes them do abstract. Who can't move with abstract painting? Not somebody who's nice to his kids. You know? Not someone who's there.

Bing Crosby beat the fuck out of his children. And we have all-time classes. Because of that. So my thing is I wanted to try to find the joy in everything. And then like mentally, so here was the path pretty much. Jew was a very insular special. I was looking back at a thousands-year-old religion. I was looking back at my version of it, my experience in it that was from a dead guy. That guy's not existing anymore. That religious auree is way gone. So I had to like find him again and dig him up and like, what were you into? You know? And then. All this stuff from wave to holidays, what was based on. But it's not like my observations now, almost none. So I was like lost in that. It was kind of a lonely way to build an hour. And then it came out of it after years and years.

And like the pandemic had happened and Black Lives Matter had happened. And like just a bunch of stuff. Trumpism had happened. And like I came out like back to joy in the world. And it was a lot of anger. People were just screaming at each other and saying how shitty everything was. And a lot of my friends were like deeply. into it.

Yeah. As they started podcasting, too, they were all like screaming about stuff. I was like, man, isn't everything great? And so like I try to be like a little stir the pot towards happiness. I don't know. But stirring some real hot button issues towards happiness. Yeah, I'm like, listen, the point is that you can find joy in everything. So I could have bitched and moaned about how far I had a drive to get here.

Wasn't that far, you know. But I could be like, what the fuck? I could have done 10 minutes away. I was doing 45 minutes away. But then like, that's not good for your mental state. Or I can do what I did was, oh, I forgot how beautiful the California scenery was. Getting it out of the city a little bit. You're like, damn, maybe I should go on a hike.

Like, what are you going to focus on? Makes your life a lot better. So all I'm trying to do with this way. That's a great mental health tool. It's gratitude is a mental health superpower, you know? And it does, it's because we naturally, as humans always look towards what's wrong and what's fucked up. and what could potentially go wrong.

And that kept us alive, you know, for 100,000 years. It probably comes from a biological thing. Yeah. What, uh-oh, what's that sound? It might be a monster. Yeah. But like, yeah, if you're just like your whole, I mean, you've seen those people that are like aggressively positive

that just like see joy and everything. Sometimes they're Jesus people, sometimes they're not. And you're like, damn, their life is fun. You're like, the world's burning. And they go, what? I had this great new donut today. You're like, I want to be that guy. But you've talked a lot.

lot about that your mission is make people laugh. You're, oh yeah. You're a comedian. You want to, you want to bring people joy and make them laugh. And that's, you're going to stay away from the, from the big issues. I mean, you're going to use the issues for laugh. But I'm going, I had this thing for a while. I didn't finish it. But I was like, they want you to go right or left. You can go backwards. You can not join in at all. So if everybody's crooked, why scream at your friends and relatives for three months leading up to an election? Like, if it's going to not bring you joy, then well i agree with that yeah and it's not gonna really shift stuff yeah then get lot like handle it my whole thing is that the partisan political system is so corrupt and broken at its root

yeah so why you know this shitty candidate versus this like slightly more shitty candidate yeah why why why lose sleep in arms about it there's other ways to try and make the world a better place other than than your vote and then there's a lot of people that only care about the state of the world every four years when they're voting. Yeah. Like what about every other day of the week? What are you doing to make life better for people? Uh-huh.

I taught a yoga class and she's like, I don't vote. People are like, why? She goes, I volunteered in inner city girls school instead because that's how I want to change the world a little bit. And it's like, damn, you're doing far more than one vote in Hawaii when the election's already been decided, you know? So it's like you're actually changing the world in some way.

So what I'm trying to do with this is, get one person to turn off the news forever and then I'll have one to just not let them get you angry about stuff that you don't need to get angry about yeah yeah be interested in it I guess but like don't lose any sleep over this there's too much good stuff that fucking crazy painting behind you is like art piece whatever is cool I don't want to be same thinking about a side Haiti you got that in Haiti from a Haitian artist yeah wow I was Haiti My wife and I do a lot of work in Haiti doing girls education for girls we're living out in the farmlands. And Haiti is a shit show right now.

It's tragic. You think we have it bad? Like, gangs own and run 80% of Port-of-Prince, the capital city of Haiti now. It is hell on earth. It's a chunk of Somalia, you know, in the Caribbean. It's absolutely nuts. And what's a DR? I'm like, how can this be so rich and so?

and they're doing well and then there's a straight line. Yep. And then poverty. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of, there's a lot of reasons for that, but. But then, yeah. Yeah.

And here, but here we are. But some positive is you probably met some girl that you like, that it's cool down there, that you're friendly with. Oh, I, I, I've made so many Haitian friends and we're actually helping people and employing people and, you know, we're trying to make a difference. Yeah. You tell one of the funniest sequences I've ever heard in a stand-up

That syndrome thing is going to get me in a lot of trouble, but it's all right. The Down syndrome football? It's going to get me in trouble, but I'm fine with it. Okay. You're ready to take it? Yeah. The Yoni Fidelberg. Oh, yeah.

That's the ultimate focusing on positives. I almost named the special Fidelberg. It was like that was down to the last one. Wow. Can you give that away or do people need to watch the special? How do we do that? How do we do it? I mean, watch the special.

It's the closer. Yeah. So you got to stay till the end. Yeah. It's a... You asked your grandfather, was there good days and bad days in the concentration camp?

Yeah. And you're like, come on. There's going to be some days 72 and Sunday. There's 72 and sunny. There's some days where it's raining. And then you talk about the celebratory death of the most annoying Jew

in the concentration cap, Ioni Fidelberg. Yeah. It pains me even saying that right now. When I did Jew, I would like kind of, so when you do it on stage, you can look for race groups of something you're talking about to kind of make sure it's okay.

Right. So like if you're doing a black show, you look, there's a black couple there make sure they're like smiling. Because sometimes people will be like white guilt for somebody and you're like, so when I do jokes about Jewish ladies with wigs and I'd see one once in a while

and I'd keep an eye on them. And they're not going, what the fuck, which is important to me. They're going like, I can't believe someone's speaking about my experience. We do that. That's great. Westwood the wigs.

You can't cover your neighbor's wife. so it's a protector. You could cover, I coveted many women with wigs before. I know, but it's not them you're coveting. This is the, there's so many loopholes.

There's not them you're covering. It's, it's someone else's hair you're coveting. So it's like, but I'm not coveting the hair. I don't want to like ejaculate on their hair. Okay, let me just say,

100% you're right. This is what they say. Okay. I'm defending a stance. I don't, did you, did you have a class in wig logic and in yeshiva? Yeah,

it's someone else. It's like if, If you take an average looking woman, put an Instagram like filter on them and then they're hot, you think, oh, I'm attracted to this. But you're technically not attracted to that. You're attracted to some filters. The hair. Did you just come up with that? I did just right now. The Instagram filter. That is really brilliant. That is really brilliant. Thanks. I wish I had done that. That shows you your, yeah, that shows your training. Yeah. So that's their original filter was a wig. Okay. So it's like it. I don't really look like this. If you saw my real hair, you wouldn't be that into it. Yeah. Yeah. Although those. those like spy wigs are so hot. Yeah. Oh. And so I'm doing this, this, these, these bits about celebrating the death of a Holocaust inmate.

And there's this Hasidic Jew in the audience who is laughing more than I have ever seen anyone laugh because he was like, I was not a laugh. It's like the first time you watch Estin L is a 14 year old. Yeah. And you're like, I didn't know there was this humor. Yeah. And he's just like, I mean, I could see him in my head still. He's like, oh.

Oh my God, it's everything. What? Because his whole life, you just have to mourn this thing completely. Yeah. And it's ridiculous. It's a ridiculous thing, but it's like. But you are literally the only comedian on the planet that could tell that sequence. And that's what I was thinking about.

Yeah, maybe. He's like, his dad's a Holocaust survivor. He gets to tell that joke. Yeah. Right, right, right. No one else gets to tell it. You can if you tell it well. But it's nicer to be able to like, Sarah Silverman could do jokes because she's

cute she can get away with some abortion jokes but like but you are cute so use that you know yeah so like you could get there but it might be harder for you but like i have the lineage so it might be a little a little easier for me to know but anybody could but yeah that's uh i almost called up and i have this long thing with Nate bar gatsy that he's like this clean comic and we like trade joke ideas and tell him about his ideas for jokes and like that's cool around with that and then i would tell him about this death of a holocaust inmate and he's like I don't he's like Ari I got to be honest I don't see how that's going to get laughs and it's like well Nate unlike you I perform for bad people so so they're really like pieces of shit so

they'll laugh at two different audiences yeah very much so yeah that one might get me in some trouble too but it's it's fine but all they want you're ready you're ready to take the heat it's fine I just want to bring joy to people yeah so if it's not it's okay and it gets more people watching the special yeah I hope they say till the end end. People turn off special before the end. And it's like, they tell you like, no, no, it'll make the darkest or like the hardest jokes earlier. People don't tune out. But I'm like, no, no, no. I'm not changing my thing for an algorithm. Hopefully it'll last till the end.

It was a great special. Thanks, man. Yeshiva in Jerusalem, where you like the life of the party, like, let's get already to tell that. There's like an innate sense of humor, like like jumping ability, like whatever. You can train it. But yeah. But there's a story of Tiger Woods passing by. John Daly after like around. John Daly's just drunk. One of a few majors.

Tiger Woods, you know who Tiger Woods is. Sure. And John Dill is like, Tiger, come up a drink. He goes, no, I got to hit the range. I got to practice. Like, Ty, come on.

I don't hit the range. And he goes, John, if I had your natural talent, I wouldn't have to hit the range either. You're just better than me. So I got to practice. So, wait, why did I say that?

Because about comedy, about knowing that you had that. So I was a little funier. You had funny bones. But then you got to train. Yeah. Yeah. I would say the same thing for me.

I mean, I'm not a stand-up and never will, but I'm not funny in that way. I can play funny characters, but early on, I kind of knew like, oh, I can make the weirdest faces, and I can do the funniest dances, and I can do imitations the best, and I can run into a wall funnier than other people,

and people like, he's funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's like, oh, where'd that come from? Yeah. How does that work? And then you just got to train it. If you're the fastest skater, like, give them a stick. And you do train it because you get stuff out of it,

like girls like you, and it gets you more popular and then people laugh or make them laugh yeah that was that's the only yeah dude when you were calling billy eyelish billy eyelash it killed me volume ilish yeah yeah it was so it was so great and i had a natural suburban seattle weirdness that translated to kind of odd characters like dwight and other characters just grew up in the shadow of of grunge i was there pre-grunge i left i left i left Seattle in 86 to go to college in New York City. And grunge broke like 88, 89. It was kind of fomenting there,

but I didn't really hear it when I was in Seattle. Yeah, I remember people talking about my second year in Yeshiva in Jerusalem, talking about Nirvana. I was like, what is this? Because there was probably mudhuddy when it was before I had left, but nobody knew them. And I was like, what is? And then I got home and then way later figured out how amazing it was,

but missing the boat. It's all heroin. Yeah, heroin helps a lot. Yeah. Yeah. People want to talk about the positive aspects of heroin. Look at it. What's his name?

Yeah, grunge and who's the one-liner comedian? Oh, oh. Escalators turn into stairs. Mitch Hedberg. Mitch Hedberg. Yeah. That's thankfully we got heroin. They gave us Mitch Hedberg.

Without that, like, it's just some boring guy. What's for food? Yeah. So anyway, that ability to be like, I'm not going to do this. And my friend's going, what are you doing? But I'd already just faced that from my Yeshiva friends. What are you doing switching to Maryland? And so when I'm like, I'm just going to go California and try,

wouldn't even tell them stand up. I just said screenwriting because at least I'd take some classes so I could justify that. Right. Did you come and take screenwriting classes? I took it in Maryland. That's a couple. Do you have a screenplay? Everyone in L.A. is shopping a screenplay.

What screenplay are you? Oh, bro, we did this on stage. My college screenplay. It's called Shooter. This guy got sucked into a television watching He Man. It was an electrical thing. He always wanted to play. college basketball are you being for real right now yeah this is your college screenplay yeah okay hit

hit yeah he wanted to play college basketball so bad but he's great shooter just slow slow white guy autobiographical okay and then there was a power search watching he meant he got sucked in he man grain and him powers this power of speed and then he started playing i i i found the screenplay oh my god thinking like i can dust this off i told joe rogan had a manager and she goes hey if you have one i can help you. And then I found it but hadn't ready yet. And I was like, I got the screenplay. It's great. Let me just correct a couple of spelling stuff. She said, great. Can't wait to read it. Then I read it sweating at how bad it was and having to like have to tell this lady how fucking terrible it was. Just like sweating, like cringe to the to the end degree. And then 20 years later,

I was like, let's put it on stage. So I got David Tell Stavros, all like the best Dan Soder. Michelle Wolf read the, Michelle Wolf read the female. lead. She just kept saying like, this is the flattest character I've ever read. They're like, can I have one interest, please, besides you? It was so fun. Yeah, we recorded at the Bell House. I was just on a blast. I was cringing then too. It was so bad. I wrote a sword and sorcery short story in eighth grade. Okay. It's called like the curse of the blacksmith or something like that and I still have it.

And in fact, I just had half my house burned down recently in this fire. And I found it and it was like charred, but it still exists. And I typed it. I typed it out. It's like 15 pages. I want to do a reading of that. You should do a reading of it. After we did that, we're like everybody has one.

Of course. We should all do these readings. Get comedians to play it. Play them as real as you can. That was an episode of the office with Michael Scarn reading threat level midnight. I don't know. Oh, really? I don't remember that one.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's been a while. Yeah. It was Michael Scarned. That was Michael Scott's alter ego as a crime fighting spy kind of. I lost it. Yeah.

After Will Ferrell took over, I stopped. I like it, but I was like, this isn't the same show anymore. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah, that should be a series of just the worst scream. And hopefully you feel it. Yeah. Hopefully like, ugh.

Did you know anyone in L.A.? You just... No, so my roommate... You're 22, 23? 24, because I took a two years off to go to seminary. Okay. And then not all my credits from. from Yeshiva transferred to University of Maryland.

Right. Your Torah classes wouldn't transfer, I imagine. So I did a year in New York at Ysheva University, then three and a half years at University of Maryland, then went. And then two years in Israel. So 25-ish. Had you done any comedy at Maryland at all?

Improv group, stand-up, open-mic? One-time open mic. Okay. My friend, Ami Butler. Do you remember any of your jokes from that? Something about a squirrel. I remember they cut me down from eight minutes to six, and I was like, fuck, I had all these notes.

I'm scrambling. Had to do two shots of Jack. and chug a beer just to like get steady okay it's so nerve-wracking yeah i was on kill tony recently and some guy was like kind of stuttering and he's like well that was bad he goes hey are you nervous though and the guy was like yeah he goes okay that's that's fair it's like it's a big it's a big stage i get it yeah you're so nervous your first time and a live audience too i mean it's like being on date versus texting a chick it's so much harder on a date it's like how's it's gonna go yeah you can't wait and like so we and it and

And so I was like, I'm going to go to California. So my friend who went to high school with me and then University of Maryland with me, he had moved to Florida with his parents. And he goes, let's go to California. He also wanted to be a screenwriter. And I was like, okay, he talked me into it, Aaron Levine. So we kind of caravan. We met up in like Tennessee.

And then we just drove. He hotboxed the whole way. So he had to drive the speed limit. I wasn't smoking weed then. So I would like drive ahead, find a spot. Tell him it's this hotel. drove cross country it was pretty it was a pretty great with one of those plug in DVD players you know with a tape yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean as soon as i went up it was a place on lancership it's

not there anymore the kindness of strangers i was like oh fuck screenwriting i'm all in on stand-up how did you how did you know that what what i just loved it yeah i loved it and did you get laughs do you remember any of those first jokes that you told there was a lot of Lewinsky jokes a lot of like trying to be what you think a comic should be yeah like yeah like Like I'm going to be an edgy political comic and talk about current events and stuff. Yeah. It's like you'd watch the Tonight Show. I'm like, I guess that's what you're supposed to do. Yeah. I didn't know there's probably, same as music.

What year was this? 99. I moved to L.A. in the same year. Wow. Really? Yeah. L.A. was so fun. L.A. was like, it's a cool city to be broken because even the stars were once waiters and waitresses.

So they can at least relate. Sure. When you're like, oh, I can't afford a beard. Like, I get it. Yeah. There is a thing like, who brought the Honda, you know? But, but like most of them can at least relate to being broke. And there's free shit to do here.

There's hikes and there's like cheap burritos. Yeah. But, yeah, man, I loved it here. Then I got a job at the comedy store. I was like, I need to work at a club. Tell me about the trip you're going to take. Where are you going? You say you're going six to eight months?

South America. South America? Yeah, backpack. With your girl by yourself? I'll figure it out. I don't know. See if I have one then. I don't know.

Okay. Like, yeah, the point, just like, I don't know. You speak pretty good Spanish? It's getting better. It's not that good. Okay. Where are you going to go? Are you going to go to Peru?

Start in Mexico. So I'm going to go to Anchorage right before the solstice, do one last gig, and then go up to Barrow. It's called something else now. You could do something. Yeah. To the highest point for the solstice. And then immediately take a flight to Mexico and then just work my way down to the bottom of Argentina for the next solstice.

Just kind of chase the sun. Wow. Yeah. That sounds kind of like hippie-dippy. What's up with the solstice thing? Yeah, it's a little hippie-dippy. It's a little hippie-dippy. And then be on the equator for,

it's just something to get you moving. This travel writer, Rolf Potts talks about, he calls it psychogeography. It's just something that gets you going. Okay. So for like Henry Rollins, no matter where he is,

he's like, I'm finding a record store. So it makes him move through the city. Right. I got to find this record. And as you go seven blocks to a record store, like, oh, this looks like, what is this? What are you sell here?

Oh, fajitas? So there isn't some kind of like, no, it would just kind of be cool. Deeper meaning to the solstice, just kind of like, here's a cool way to bookend it. It'd be cool in 24 hours of sunlight, but you could get that in Anchorage,

almost. And same thing there, 24 hours of sunlight would be cool. I don't know, just cool to dip your toe in the... And you're going to do like buses and trains? Buses, trains, hostels. I did it in Southeast Asia in 2017

for four months, just by myself, backpack, like a dirt bag. And do you write jokes? What do you do? Your journal? You think you would. You're going to record stuff?

What are you going to do? So I'm going to have enough podcasts recorded because these are all evergreen, the one I do now. It's not political. It's not nothing that I can put them out while I'm gone. Once a month, I'm going to do all the bumpers of like if it's comedian, like here's their dates or they're special or whatever coming out. And then all my ad reads just once a month. They'll sit there and do it all. Send it in, you know, take care of that.

And then so I'll still be like working, I guess. Yeah. If I meet a crazy traveler, I'm like, oh, this is what, you know, you're going to bring some recording equipment? Yeah, I'm trying to find as small. What about writing a book? What about writing like a, I'm trying to do that. Memoiry kind of funny book.

Yeah. Yeah. So my buddy, that travel writer, Rolf Potts, he's like, there's no humor in the space, in the travel space. It's all either foreign prisons or the most amazing time of my life. Yeah. And there's no like, just shit on the fucking service in Cambodia. It's like that fun, you know. So I got to do it.

I just haven't been able to do it. Such laziness. The phone's half of it. That's amazing. So yeah, I would love to like commit to like a book of stories or something. You've done it. How hard was it? Bringing your laptop?

I don't know. It's going to be hard to lug that around. I'm trying to minimize as much as possible. But I think I would have to write. It's a super thin MacBook pros or whatever. Like a 13 inch. Yeah. I don't need it for much.

Yeah. Just to upload and send. It's super light. I mean, those are like 10 ounces. Yeah, and if it gets stolen, whatever, the cloud, no big deal. Yeah. You know? But, man, Southeast Asia was the best.

There's this freedom that you feel when you don't have to be anywhere that I didn't realize I felt until I came back and was just like, it's like responsibility came. Right. And your ICAL and like, every day I check like, oh, I've got a 3 o'clock Zoom and I've got to call that guy back. Clerical stuff that your agent or manager hits you with or someone else hits you with. I've got to do the docu sign. Yeah, yeah.

It's like, oh, do I have to download? I thought I had it already. Do I got to download an app to get this? Just shitty stuff that's not really your passion. It should just come. Like, hey, we need more toilet paper. Make sure to stop by and get something. Like, okay.

Anything. And then it was just all gone in Asia. It was just like, where do you want to? I want to go there next? Somebody tells me about a festival that way. I'm like, all right, I'll shift. Let's go that way. And now cell phones, you can reach anyone around the globe.

Your friends can reach you, right? When it's Asia, I locked myself out of everything. Really? Yeah. So I can't fully do this. I'll minimize it. I'll get a new phone. And like just maybe just give my number to like my podcast producer and my, maybe my mom.

I don't know. Maybe a couple friends. Because I also don't want to, I don't mind if like some people come visit me on this one. Like I'm going to go to Galapagos and you've always wanted to go meet me. Yeah. You know? Right. Are you going to Galapagos?

I went. I lived in Ecuador for six months for the pandemic. My job was done. So took my dog. The pandemic. COVID hit. Ecuador really hard. Yes.

On the coast, Gai Akeel. Because we were supposed to go to Galapagos right at that time. Oh, they shut it. And they shut it down. And then not only that, they were showing on the news like the body bags in Gai Akeel. For some reason, it hit there really bad. So because of that, there was these videos of these kids walking to school past a pile of bodies. Yeah.

So the country was like, we're no longer worried about what might work or what doesn't work. Anything that even might work we're doing. Yeah. They had alternate day driving, depending on your license plate, to minimize human contact. It was like anything do you think is ridiculous. Like, what do we care? We don't want to have our kids walk past a dead body anymore. So they're driving with masks in their car alone.

And it's like, what? Like, we don't give a fuck. We're not going back to that. They're still using bleach on their groceries. Yeah. It was terrible. And then it was way better than here in terms of code. So we narrowed on the list of places that, like, are decent on it.

And that was one. So it was like, all my friends were doing this thing. Like you go to the airport, they go turn around, Arizona shut down. Your gigs are done. And I'm like, let me just go somewhere. So, but I have my phone for that. But I locked myself out of everything in Asia. I changed all my passwords to this.

I went like, changed password to this. Cut paste it, sent it to a friend. So I couldn't get it. So you couldn't get on, even if you wanted. My email was the last one. Yeah. Take it. And then the last thing I do with my phone was I called it Uber.

It was on its way. Then I put my phone in my drawer and shut it. used my credit card to get my ticket to Myanmar, and I had no way to contact or be contacted. Myanmar's intense. It was great. Yeah. Military junta.

They don't let you in those areas. Yeah. So I didn't even know that was there. You're there, and it's like, oh, what a nice street food. Yeah, it's like being in Burlinder in the Holocaust. Like, there's nothing wrong here. Yeah. You know, it's like, those are the outskirts.

Did you see that Holocaust movie, the zone of interest? Did you see zone of interest? Is that where the guy's working and his family? It's the family living outside of the walls of the Holocaust. Yeah, I heard about it. He's just got like his, it's just like, honey, I'm home. Yeah, exactly. And the dog is barking too much, but you kind of hear the roar of the ovens over the,

you can kind of see some ashes fall down on the garden and stuff. You get used to it. I got to watch that one. It's so, it's beautifully done, haunting. And in it, in it is, it is one of my favorite. Damn. Yeah. You got to check it out.

Yeah. So one of the questions we ask our guests recently is, you know, I'm trying to do this podcast about the human condition and spirituality. Oh, that's what it is? Oh, that's what you're interested in the Jew stuff. And I love that you didn't know that. And can I get these online? I would love to buy one online.

Wow, there's our commercial right there. I mean, this seems, in this day at age, you should be able to put it up on Ray Wilson.com? Yeah, no. God damn. Soulboom. com. Somewhere.

What is it? Soulboom.com? Okay, I don't even know. But one of the things we try to do is define this word soul. It's a strange word. It means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Rhythm to some people. Yeah, sure.

It can mean angels, you know, to other people. When you hear the word soul, how would you define it? What does it mean to you? I usually, unless I'm listening to a lot of gospel at the time, think of it as whatever is in there. So depending on who you are, it's like whatever's in there. In Jews, it's usually a bag of diamonds that we do. move to the side in order to make room for what's right and what's wrong.

It's a weird thing. I think about it sometimes because it's not, it's nothing. There is no soul. But that's the only part of you that keeps you alive. You can bring any car back to life with a little fix it. But you can't bring a body back. A healthy 25 year old, if you should put your hand over their mouth and nose for, you know, two minutes, they're gone. the soul's gone.

You can put more air in. The body doesn't work anymore. Electric charges. Yeah. It might even be able to move a little bit. Pump liquid. It never gets back. And that's what the soul is, right?

It's this thing that once it's gone, it's gone forever. It's weird. Once I left the religion. You're not sounding very atheistic right now. Yeah, but I don't know what it is. Like, when I went and took like, anytime I take mushrooms and like, you're connected to the universe. Does that mean God?

I'm like, I don't know what it means. I don't know what aspirin, how that works. It works the same for everybody. Yeah. You know, just because I don't understand it doesn't mean the telephone, that's not God. Somebody made it. I can't explain it. But yeah, what is that thing that makes actual life?

And then I don't know if that goes on somewhere else or not, but that's that spark, right? You ever see what was that show that Cross started doing? I think he did the last season of it. I don't know David Cross. The Umbrella Academy. You ever see that? This is weird, or maybe an alien or whatever, he took these, like. sparks and put them in play and they were just in and they gave them powers or whatever just

in like 20 kids around the world and it just gave them special powers but like what was that thing that's what like the soul is kind of thing like what what I don't know it's a good question I don't know stumped you yeah what would they say in the yeshiva they don't think they talk about soul they talk about the it's you it's the powers in you the the essence of you the the heart the consciousness of you that's not brought up in ushiva just wigs and and that's how weird cabala stuff which they like don't ever even teach that's when you get into ghosts and the afterlife stuff they don't really there's like that's not doing any good that's an original thing too it's like just what's you need to learn how to like separate this meat and this milk don't worry about heaven you go

if you do it you don't have to know about it okay who's this pilot shut up he's whoever it is he's getting us there what is the soul Damn, brother. I don't know. What does Baha'i say? We have meat suits. Okay. For 80, 90 years, we're lucky. Yeah. And whatever that kind of divine essence is that, I won't say is in our meat suit, but is related to our meat suit, continues on a journey.

Continues on a journey. Not like heaven and hell, but just the next plane of existence going ever closer to the divine. You kind of have to believe that. But I mean, even flowers, too, you can't bring a flower back to life. Once that's too gone, you know, they can wilt and you can bring them back, like a sickness and a human and then like now you're back to healthy. But like once they're gone, it's also gone. So that must also have a soul.

But then like, where does it, you really need to believe that it keeps going? And that's what the end of Lord of the Rings was. You get cross over the, the story's not done. These guys have to keep going, you know? And like the soul goes up to heaven and lives on. So it's like, because you can't wrap your head around like, extinct. A lot of people can and don't seem to have a problem with it. Yeah.

I've spoken to a few of them. I don't understand. I don't get that to me that saps all kind of meaning and purpose out of life. I think it's sort of that also what is the meaning if it doesn't go on or anything. It's like good connections, fun with your friends. Mm-hmm. I don't know. You can have some meaning.

Otherwise, just pure nihilism and then just kill yourself. If you find that's my next book is on the meaning of life. So if you find some meaning on your travels in South America, let me know. Okay. You know the anti-natalists? No. The guy from the cure is one. It's all life of suffering.

So you have no right to do that to someone. And then it goes, why don't you kill yourself? It's like, because this fucking life put a need to keep going in me. That's how fucking awful it is. Whoa. Yeah. Robert Smith is one of those? Antinatalist.

A natalist. Yeah. No, an anti-natalist. Antinatalist. Yeah. I don't look more into it, but yeah, it's a wild way to be. But I get it. All life is suffering.

So why I do it? Yeah. I would have to think about it way longer to be able to try to disprove them, but also like, maybe you're right. You're smart. You're smart. Still wearing makeup at 90. It's been a pleasure speaking with you and getting to know you and your story is fascinating.

You too, Rainbow. Oh, thanks, sweetie. Let me know how that trip goes. Okay. Yeah. That sounds fantastic. I'm excited about it. Yeah.

I just putting it all away. I really, I don't have the balls to do that. I really admire that you're doing that. Yeah, I'm scared. That's incredible. Yeah, but you've already done it. I've done it. I can see the past.

So, yeah. That's amazing. Yeah. Cool. All right, brother. Thanks, Ari. Yeah, thank you. The Soul Boom podcast.

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