Soul Boom - Does Manifesting Change God's Plan? (w/ Edwina Findley)

Episode Date: January 27, 2026

Let's unpack the most sacred questions of the human experience: how do you know when guidance is divine, and when it’s just desire, fear, or ego? Edwina Findley unravels manifesting vs. God’s plan, the difference between “my dream” and a true calling, and why service, struggle, and waiting seasons may matter more than vision boards. From miraculous signs and prophetic moments to doubt, discipline, and surrender, this episode is a deep dive into faith, purpose, and what it really means to trust the path unfolding in front of you. SPONSORS! 👇 Fetzer 👉 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.fetzer.org⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⏯️ SUBSCRIBE!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠👕 MERCH OUT NOW! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠📩 SUBSTACK!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  FOLLOW US! IG: 👉 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://instagram.com/soulboom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: 👉 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠http://tiktok.com/@soulboom⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  CONTACT US! Sponsor Soul Boom: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Work with Soul Boom: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Send Fan Creations, Questions, Comments: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[e-mail]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠  Executive Produced by: Kartik Chainani Executive Produced by: Ford Bowers, Samah Tokmachi Companion Arts Production Supervisor: Mike O'Brien Theme Music by: Marcos Moscat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I feel like sponsors should rent space right here. For Soul Boom sponsors, this space for rent. Right here. Hey, we're rolling. Hey there, it's me, Rain Wilson, and I want to dig into the human experience. I want to have conversations about a spiritual revolution. Let's get deep with our favorite thinkers, friends, and entertainers about life, meaning, and idiocy.

Welcome to the Soul Boom podcast. Thanks for coming in. It's my pleasure. How great was that that I got to meet you the other day? I know. At your book launch. Yeah. Unshameless plug for Soul Boom, the Workbook.

If you don't have it, please get it. Thank you for plugging that. And plugging now, the world is your oyster. Do what you like and manifest God inside you. That's so not the title. We're going to do a take two. The world is waiting for you. Embrace your calling and manifest the God dream over your life.

You talk a lot about ways in which you get signs, messages, portents. Well, as far as hearing that voice, I think it was the purity in which I asked the question. The purity of heart in which I prayed. You know, like I really wanted to hear God. And sometimes I know a lot of people say, oh, well, you know, how do you hear, I've never heard from God or I've never heard a voice. I've never heard. But also have you ever sought it? You know, like the Bible has this great scripture. Seek and ye shall find.

Knock and the door shall be opening to you. But sometimes we're looking for open doors, but we're not actively knocking. Or we want to find something, but we're not actively seeking. And so for me, from pretty early, I started actively seeking. And I have found in my life, that when I've been that determined to hear from God. Like this would tell us, I'm like, I'm not going to let go until I hear from you.

Yeah, yeah. And it's been those times where it's like, oh, okay, you're gonna be bold enough to seek. Yeah. Well, I'm gonna give you what you asked for. Yeah. And so, you know, it was just that clear. Which requires faith.

So much faith. So there's a multi-part process you're really talking about. You're having like some kind of burning question or need inside, which a lot of us have. Like, what do I do with my life? Am I doing the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing here? You know, what should I do next? But then imploring, begging God, seeking, actually like undertaking a quest. Part of that is prayer. And then feeling like you have an answer. And then taking action with faith that that's going to pay off someone. So I think a lot of people get stuck

at one of those different phases. Some people are all action without contemplation, without prayer, without kind of like seeking some kind of divine connection. And some people just wanted and are afraid to ask. Some people feel like they got an answer, but then they're afraid to go all in. So when you-

You are breaking it down. Oh my goodness. Well, this is from my faith tradition, the Baha'i faith, I don't have it on the tip of my tongue, but there's this kind of, famous quote from one of the Baha'i leaders about the five parts of prayer, you know, and how you, how it is kind of broken down

in a number of ways of like, you know, purify your heart, ask, be open, you know, receive it, and then act as if, you know, act as if you have the answer, have that faith and go forward and trust that if you are going in the wrong direction like that, that the answer is gonna come back to you in some way. The last chapter of the book is called Make Bold Faith Moves. That's the last chapter of the book.

And it's all about like that, that God dream or that vision, that thing that you believe now that you've been called to, go all the way. Take the leap, right? But you're taking a leap of faith. You're believing that if I run full force in this direction, that God's going to back me up. I'm fascinated by your early story as an actor.

in a lot of ways we have similar stories, probably very different backgrounds, but very similar stories in some ways. One of the things, when I studied with Zelda Fitch Handler, who ran Arena Stage, and you were in DC, and grew up in DC, your whole childhood in DC? Not the whole childhood, but a good part of it. Yeah. Yeah.

She talked about, and I've mentioned this before on the show, like actors as shamans, that an actor is not, someone just auditioning, hoping to get a part, you know, then they get a bunch of lines and read them well and get a paycheck. But that actors are storytellers. Actors are part of a tradition of being a shaman, which is the most ancient holy person in human history, far beyond any Abrahamic religion, going back 100,000 years. There have always been shaman, which are priests and stand-up comics and myth tellers and truth tellers and truth seekers and one foot in the mystic speaking about the hunt, speaking about the mythology, speaking about the ancestors. This isn't every tradition in the world.

And Africa, the Americas, Asia, Native Americans, you name it. And I really have always loved that definition of an actor because it's so empowering. It doesn't feel like I'm just It's like, I hope they like me. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I hope you cast me. And the power is all in the producers and the casting directors and the director. It feels like, no.

Because it feels purposeful. Purposeful. I have something to say. I am bringing something to the equation. I want to bring my own quirky humor, my insight, my wisdom, my pain, you know, my body, my face, whatever, and everything that I've gone through. And what I believe about the world,

I get to focus through, these characters. So there is a spiritual charge. I know that sounds pretentious as hell, but there is a spiritual charge to being an artist, I think for any artist, but you can, you can certainly shoehorn that spiritual charge into any work that someone is doing. It wasn't until, to be honest, probably the last five to 10 years that I started realizing, wait actually my art and entertainment that is that is a calling right like that in itself there's something holy about that there's something holy about being able to step into other people's shoes and take their side and live life from their point of

view and experience someone else's backstory that you may have never heard of may have may have judged, right? Like there are people that I would have very easily judged before. And I'm sure I have. Why is that person on drugs? Why is that person locked up? Why is that person off a role? Why would she make a decision to stay,

even though, you know, her husband is so abusive to her. Why would she do that? But when you're an actor, it's your job to take their side. It's your job to become one with this character and allow the character to speak through you, allow the character to live through you. You cannot do that if you're judgmental of the person. They were just talking about that in this Martin Scorsese

documentary on Apple. Have you seen that by any chance? I was in it. Wait, what? You didn't see my phone. I'm on the poster. I'm kidding. Come on, Rain.

I got you, really? I was processing, like, maybe she was in a Martin Scorsese movie that I didn't know. I feel like you would have remembered my head. I also haven't seen the whole documentary yet. I'm honored to be likened unto the Martin Svres. What's considered the greatest movie of the 80s, Raging Bull, and they were talking about, like, Jake Lamato,

is a wife-beater, self-destructive, arrogant, violent, and like so many people were just so turned off by the character that De Niro played. And then they had a really searing discussion about, you know, what made him redemptive. Like, yes. he was a violent woman hater and addict and self-destructive, but, you know, and then they showed these scenes,

and I hadn't seen the movie in a long time, and De Niro's like heartbreaking performance there, that he just lets you in. And he did the same thing with Travis Bickle. I mean, no one is kind of more able to kind of let you into truly despicable characters, Rupert Pupkin, then De Niro and Scorsese working together. And you're exactly right.

You know, it's a different level of compassion. And I've had to play like villains before and people with very few redeeming characteristics. But if you get in their psychology and dig deep enough, there's reasons why people are making the choices that they're making. There's reasons. And I think on the judgmental side, you're like,

why, but it's all very rhetorical. You don't really want to know why. You're just judging the fact that they would. Yeah. But when you're an actor, you're really asking the question, why yeah why and I know when I'm when I'm preparing roles and when I keep asking that question why and why and why then it goes so deep and then it's like oh that's why and that can be my starting place with this role and isn't

that a sacred trust to be able to reveal characters yeah I say it and then I wince because it sounds pretentious and I can picture people like rolling their eyes but at the same time I truly believe I believe this, but I believe this about any artist. I believe like the sacred trust of painting and beautiful painting or having an empty page and putting words on that become poetry or an empty space and moving through it

and creating dance that there is this kind of amazing, transcendent impulse to create beauty and truth where there was not beauty and truth before. Yeah. So because we're very similar in that regard too, like for a long time, even when I was on the office, these were two very separate worlds for me. You know, I had my faith journey and interest,

and I read a lot about spirituality and studied and meditated and prayed and was on my own faith struggle and whatnot. And here I was playing this dork on this sitcom and just trying to get some movie roles and pay off my student loans and get a house. And it was right around the time I did Oprah Winfrey's podcast and started SoulPanake in 2010 or nine or 10, that it was,

it felt like these two things bumping up against each other. It took me a few years to kind of like say, oh, it's all one. It's all the same. The impulse to play Dwight Shrewt is the same impulse to create a poem. It's the same impulse to pray. It's the same impulse to look at a beautiful hummingbird

on a branch or to see the ocean at sunset. And it's to transcend something beyond the mere kind of physical corporeal existence. Yeah. Hey folks, it's me, Rain in my new office. I just turned 60. Can you believe it? I've been thinking a lot about aging lately. Not in a panic way, more in a curiosity way.

And all of this curiosity is what led me to one skin. I have been using their OS1 face topical supplement moisturizer. It feels good to use something that doesn't feel like it's fighting my body. I don't want to look younger. I just want to look like myself. well maintained and what makes one skin different is that they're looking at skin aging at the cellular level their patented OS1 peptide targets senescent cells which are a big driver of wrinkles crepiness and loss of elasticity it's the first

ingredient proven to do that and it's been backed by multiple clinical studies and for a limited time one skin is making it even easier to stay consistent with 15% off when you use the code soul boom at one skin dot co slash soul boom that's up to 15% off with the code Soul Boom. After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them that Soul Boom sent you. Hey, I wanted to give a quick shout out to our spiritual partners at the Fetzer Institute. They have just launched a brand new shiny website over at Fetzer.org.

That's FetZER.org. And it's full of spiritual tools for modern struggles, which is exactly what we're trying to cultivate here at Soul Boom. Fetzer believes that most of humanity's problems are spiritual at the root, and they're helping people plant some deeply soulful solutions. So I urge you to go poke around their new website, check out Fetzer.org. Thank you, Fetzer Institute for helping sponsor the show and all of the truly amazing work that you do over there. Fetzer.org. That's FetZER.org. Adobe Acrobat Studio, your new foundation. Use B-D-F spaces to generate a presentation.

grab your docks your permits your moves AI levels of your pitch gets it in a groove choose a template with your timeless cool come on now let's flex those two drive design deliver make it sing AI builds the deck so you can build that thing do that do learn more at adobe dot com slash do that with acrobat now I was living in New York at the time I had received a prophecy that God was going to send me to Hollywood I had no idea how that was was going to happen. I was living in low-income housing. I was pushing my laundry cart for blocks and just to be able to do my laundry. My income was right on the poverty line. I'm like, I have no idea how that's going to happen, but I opened myself up to the possibility of it. I was invited to Hollywood

not to do a show. This time, it was to speak, and I spoke, and it was powerful. And, you know, we had a wonderful experience at this conference. And then two days later, a friend, you know, invited me to Runyon Canyon. We're hiking, hiking. We get to the top. And I felt like I was overlooking the Promise Land. And it was such a spiritual experience up there. And it was this one sign in the distance that was calling my attention.

I couldn't make out all the words. And I'm pulling my friend and I almost throw him off the cliff, like, try to put together all the words on this sign. We finally come down and he's like, have you given any thoughts to coming to L.A.? I think you do really well here. I said my agents in New York are not for me coming to Hollywood whatsoever. They always told me Hollywood is for beautiful people. You'll never make it there.

So I internalized that and I believed it. And he said, well, you can't keep letting them control your life. He said, well, I said, well, if God told me that I was supposed to move to Hollywood, I guess I just have to go without anything. But right now I don't have any reason to up and move. across the country. He rolled his eyes and when you're always being so deep. Well, two days later, my last night in town, I'm walking with a girlfriend is pitch black outside. We're walking along the Walk of Fame. And my camera, it was one of those cameras that like swing from your wrist.

It wasn't even like a camera phone. It just flashes. And so I'm looking at my friend. My friends looking at me. We're looking at the camera. We're like, how in the world did that happen? And so I pick it up. And I'm like, what did it take a picture of? And it was the sign that I saw from the top of Runyon Canyon two days prior. But this time it was up close and perfectly framed in my camera. From Harlem to Hollywood, you're a star. Congratulations. And I still have that picture now.

Like it's hanging in a frame in my office. If that's not a sign. Yeah, and it was a sign. And so shortly thereafter, I was casting a show in Hollywood, ended up living with Viola Davis and she really took me under her wing and, you know, took me everywhere with her and really mentored me. And now she's written the foreword for the book. The world is waiting for you. Which is gorgeous. The, now, did you ever find out what the purpose of that billboard was? Like, who put it up for whom and. Oh my gosh. I later did find out. Yeah, what?

Which back then wasn't as taboo as it is now. Okay. It was for Surrock. And it was like connected to the music industry. And I guess that's why they put that. Yeah. That's all I'll say right now. But you know what's really funny? Some years later, I was on the rare carpet. We had just done the movie Get Hard.

And I was playing Kevin Hart's wife, Will Ferrell's in the movie. And so they have me, Will Ferrell, Kevin Hart. Like just the cast all lined up. It was at the Chinese Gromon Theater. Mm-hmm. And as all these, you know, pictures are being taken, I'm doing interviews and I look up, and I realized that I was in the exact same spot

that I was when my camera took that picture by itself. Oh, damn, that's amazing. It was so amazing. Like, I literally almost passed out right there on the red carpet, you know, that whole full circle, and that's why I talk about manifestation, right? Yeah. The idea that there's a divine plane,

that's over your life that you can actually step into and walk out in these very spiritual and practical ways. You know, that's really the heart of the book. I love that about the book because there you have many stories of prophecies of people telling you what you should do and helping you along and seeing signs. But at the same time, you're working your butt off and being incredibly practical. It's kind of like that phrase, like the harder you work, the luckier you get. Like, you go to NYU, you're getting the very best acting training. You weren't just kind of like sitting there like, I'm ready to be a star, Lord.

You know, you were like, I'm gonna grind. Like you were talking about the, what were the plays you did in Washington, D.C.? Yeah. We have that in common too. Yeah. At the Shakespeare Theater, I did WintersTales, Serenota Bergerac, Henry the fourth.

Yeah. I think part one and two. So I have Shakespeare background too. I was in the acting company and Arena Stage. in Washington, D.C. So that, like, because you get that, there's nothing replaces that experience. You get in the theater and heightened language

and heightened character. Actually, my last year at NYU, I was doing Shakespeare in the Park, the Delacourt theater, public theater. My first job was at the Delicourt. No, really? It was my very first acting job. I love that so much. So for two summers, that was my kind of summer job.

Yeah. And then studying under all those wonderful actors, you know, then Jeffrey Wright was in one of the plays and Joe Morton was in a way. I was on, I was on tour for a year with Jeffrey Wright. Were you? In Midsummer Night's Dream. Oh, my, what year was that?

He was Puck and I was Demetrius in Midsummer Night's Dream for a year in 1992. Hold on. Are you serious? Yeah. Did you ever do that at Arena? No, we did two gentlemen of Verona at arena. But maybe we did do midsummer.

We did do midsummer. We did do midsummer in D.C. somewhere. Did you see him? I think I may have seen. I mean, because I'm having flashbacks to like being in elementary school and middle school. Like, and like going to the theater.

Yeah. I think we were at the Kennedy Center. Oh my God. And I used to work at the Kennedy Center all the time. Yeah. Yeah. As a doctor and I would always go to shows there. He was the most amazing puck. Oh my gosh.

He was incredible. Wow. so funny and dark and twisted. All the colors. Yeah. But this is what I'm saying is like, I think it's a, personally, I'll be really honest with you. I get a little bit concerned about manifesting.

Because although I think it's crucial, and I want to hear more about your philosophy here of like a vision board, you created a vision book. I did. And it's all coming true or came true. coming true or came true, it's remarkable. And having a vision, having a finding your mission, attaching yourself to God's will,

and seeking to kind of manifest your dreams, there's nothing wrong with any of that. But I have seen a lot of people do a lot of manifesting without a lot of work. Yeah. So you have to do the other steps. You've got to understudy at the Delicourt. You've got to go do King Henry the Fourth at the Shakespeare Theater.

You've got to go on a bus and truck tour in Midsummer Night's Dream. you've got to go to acting school and get into debt and you know you've got to get into debt you know forget the debt part but heard here first yeah forget the debt part nowadays it's it's not worth it i wouldn't recommend it but but you know what i'm saying right like you weren't just manifesting you were working your butt off for years at the poverty line and gaining incredible skills as an actor because you're a phenomenal phenomenal actor that could play and any role. Thank you. But from that work that you did in those first 10 years of your career.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, that's an excellent point. And when I say manifestation, right, I don't mean what I think a lot of people may mean when they say that as far as like, you decide what you want and then you, you know, kind of fixate on it all the time. Right. And then that, you know, you write checks to yourself and, and then you look at it long enough. Yeah. And then it will become yours, right? Like that's an important differentiation. Yeah, oh, that is not at all what I mean. Yeah.

Because a lot of, a lot of manifestation to me is you beginning to discover what is the God dream that's over your life. What has been written? What are you called to do? Because that's why I said when you discover your calling, then you've got all this, like you've got supernatural forces that are going to partner with you to back you up to make sure that it manifests in the earth, like, so that you can know that the road that I'm traveling on is the one I've been called to. A lot of times we try to like, oh, I want this man or I want

this car, I want this, you know, I want to live in Iceland or whatever it is. And so we start working in the direction and never stop to say, is this the divine plan over my life? Or is it just what I want? Yeah. And so that's why I feel like once you really start to get connected, you know, to that kind of divine plan, then it's, all right, well, then what steps do I need to take to prepare for this? What can I do in my strength also realizing that the fullness of the manifestation may not rest on how much work I'm doing, right? And so I was, I was working my butt off and saw a lot of success. But when I moved to California after God, you know, did this whole thing, this woman stopped me. This Jewish woman stopped me and she said,

God gave me a prophecy for you. What was this? Can I share it with you? So there's a rabbi named Rabbi Jason Sobel here in Los Angeles. And he hosted this gathering. And I had never been to a Jewish gathering before. And I went and I was really praying. Like it was beautiful.

But I was also praying like, okay, God, why did you send me here? You know, going back to, all right, you know, in these different spaces. How has this space been changed? Why are you here? What's your purpose? And so I really wondered, what was my purpose being there? Well, as I'm leaving, this woman made a beeline for me. And she was like, God gave me a word for you.

Can I share it? And I said, yes, okay. And she began to pray over me. And she put her hand lightly on my forehead. And she said, sweet and simple, sweet and simple, sweet and simple. She said it three times. She said, you've been working, working, working. and you've been striving, striving, straining, straining

to get to the next level. And she said, but God is saying, now stay in a sweet and simple place. He's going to take it from here. Wow. And that was so moving for me, because especially coming from New York, you know, it was like survival and the gron and the hustle. And all of that has this place, right? And that's why when I talk about manifesting your God dream,

you know one part of that book is very spiritual and then one part of it's very practical because i believe that you need both i believe that in order to see the levels of manifestation in your life that is in line with your god dream that it requires both you and god right as a partnership as a divine partnership and so i do i work very hard especially if it's something that i know I've been called to. You know, I think a lot of times we as actors, and you can interrupt me if you think I'm wrong, but I think sometimes we can become ungrateful.

My favorite show business joke of all time is, you want to make an actor unhappy? Give them my job. Give them my job. Exactly. Because you will never hear so much complaining as on a set, you know? And it's just like, wait a minute, you're making thousands of dollars a day.

You're sitting and your complaining. The call times too early. You had to sit in your trailer. or wham-boa-mo-c, call the wambulence. I mean, even down to like, I was in hair and makeup the hair styles was like, yeah, a lot of actors don't want to do press anymore. They don't want to do, da-da-da-da. I'm like, yeah, you're right, you know,

because a lot of people are like, oh, I don't want to, but then you don't have a job, and that's all you want to do is just be out there. All you want to do is be on somebody's rare carbon, hope they see me. Yeah. We have to be grateful, right? And so I live with that, like I live with that child. childlike wonder and awe of what I'm living and what has manifested has been exactly what I saw

and what I hoped for and dreamed of. And I know that there's more. And so for me, now it's like, okay, being able to, with all the restrictions that the industry puts on you and all the labels and all the things that they say, you know, the condition of the industry and this and that all these things, can you, you still dream higher? Can you still dream bigger? Right? God's not done. One thing I know for sure

is that God himself led me into various spaces and places, and I prayed for that. I've experienced doubt is an essential part of faith. You bump up against it and you struggle with it. It's not easy. and I've gone through some hard times where there are some hard times, especially in those early years, where there was a doubt and struggle before the vision boarding and manifesting kind of like propelled you forward.

I remember before I got into that apartment that I was like, it was low-income housing, but it was real nice. I was in another low-income housing place that wasn't real nice. And my neighbors, it was my very first department coming out of college, and my neighbors started robbing me. It started with like them getting into my bank account,

and they were like, they were paying each other's bills through it. Meanwhile, I'm like, I just graduated from college. My mother was experiencing an awful, horrible health challenge. I was getting calls every day. I'm the only child. She was a single mom. So I'm getting calls from D.C. every day about my mom. So I'm trying to deal with that while also working this side job

while also trying to, you know, earn enough money to pay my rent. And then I'm finding out that neighbors on both sides have been able to access my bank account. They're paying their bills through my account. Then I call one day I hear them outside, like breaking into my mailbox. So I call the police. I'm like, listen, there's people out there. And they're in the hallway and they're breaking it. You know, and they're like, ma'am, you know, call us back when you actually have a crime to report.

I'm like, they're out there. Like, people are actually, they're taking my identity. They're doing all these things. The woman hangs up on me. Oh. 9-1-1. Okay. But I don't know, 15, 20 minutes later, suddenly all these police officers like bumrush the building.

And they're out there telling the people. that I was the one that called the police on them. Oh, my God. Can you imagine? Oh, my God. So everyone's knocking on my little studio door, which, by the way, has bars on the outside of it. So there's no, I can't get out.

There's only one way to get out. And I'm literally afraid for my life, and here are the officers with all the neighbors behind them. Did you call the police on the... I'm like, And so the fear just overtook me. My life ended up being endangered. I ended up like literally sleeping on someone's couch for months, still struggling to pay my rent,

but sleeping on a friend's couch because I was too afraid to go home. And so I finally just prayed. I was like, God, I can't live like this. I can't live like this. But I can't afford like a regular apartment in all the low income housing places where all had weightless. for years and years and so finally I was just like I don't know what to do it was like this breakthrough this man who was a manager at one of the properties he said I've just called a friend of mine about you and they have three apartments that you can go look at

and you can move into tomorrow I said what I said I already called that company they told me their wait list was two years long he said well I called the head it and they said you can move in and I went to each one I was like what for me and that's how I ended up you know being able to move to this beautiful neighborhood and still not pay a lot of money you know but actually feel safe to feel safe but in that time I guess you know I know I know you're saying well like the doubt in the you know like how do you wrestle with the doubt of faith you know for me I think it's those moments that caused me to lean in even more because I know I can't manifest this by myself.

I'm alone. I'm already alone. I'm alone in this place. My mom is sick. There's nobody help. You know, like, I'm alone. So there was only person, one person I had to call on. Yeah.

And so I just ask God, I need you in this situation with me. I need you with me. Now, now prior to that, I will say that, doubt period of faith came while I was at NYU because there were certain classes I was in that were teaching that there's no such thing as God. God is a social construct. God is.

They were teaching that in an acting class or? You know, I experienced it more on the academia side. Okay. Where it was basically like man created God to explain that which was inexplicable. Yeah. And so that was kind of the first time that I had been exposed to that type of ideology.

And so I really wrestled with it because, of course, they pull from different philosophers and da-da-da, you know, people that seem way more important than me or way more study than me. And so, and I'm being told this from an authority figure that there actually is no God, everyone. And so here I am as a teenager trying to grapple with that. And so when I would go back home, I was like really, I would debate everything. everybody. Well, how do you know? And what do you mean? And what's the empirical evidence behind that? You know, I was constantly like just, well, you know, just going further and further and further and further. And finally, one of my friends who was like my age, she was like, Edwina, she asked me such a simple question, but I will never forget it. She said, do you believe or don't you?

and there was something so pure and simple about that question that then caused me to go back over my whole journey my own spiritual journey and I realized oh God's been with me this whole time all the prophecies and all the revelation all these moments of calling and even being in New York City you know all of that was revealed divinely It wasn't because someone told me and wag their finger.

It wasn't because somebody made me read the Bible or made me. It was a very real and living experience with God. And that's when I realized, oh, I do believe. I believe because I've experienced God. So after that, when the, you know, kind of the professors and the whomever, you know, begin to pontificate about how there is no God. I realized, oh, that's a belief, too. You're choosing to believe that that is true.

So we're all believing is something. Yeah, yeah. You believe that whatever, four billion years ago, there was an explosion and there's random matter and that we formed consciousness and there's beauty and truth and emotion and memory and the human experience. And you're just going to believe that that's just,

random molecules. That is a huge, huge belief. And I had to realize that. There's a huge faith undertaking there. A huge faith undertaking it. And that's when I realized, oh, we're both operating in some form of faith. You may not recognize that. But essentially, we're believing and we're choosing

what we get to believe. Yeah, that's great. I love that you said the experience of God, and I've talked about it on the show many times, but there's a book that was seminal in my, kind of understanding of the divine called the experience of God, being consciousness bliss by the theologian David Bentley Heart. His whole thesis is exactly that.

Like you can't, you can't do the Alex O'Connor debating about God from philosophical standpoint. Like you experience the divine in your life or you don't experience the divine. And I have friends that are atheists. I have a good, my good friend Mike from high school, he has, It's experienced, wonder, mystery, hardship, heartbreak, majesty. If he goes hiking in the mountains every summer, beauty, he's incredible service as a school teacher and principal.

And he has zero experience of anything divine past that. But that's the thing. It's also how do you discern divine? Because each of the things that you described, to me, feel very divine. And even in the Bible, there's beautiful scriptures about how the heavens declare the glory of God, right? And talks about the hills and the mountains and the stars at night, right? And the galaxy and how it all is a reflection of God in God's presence and how we know that God is here.

And God created this beautiful galaxy, right? But if you don't have that type of connection, then you may just say, oh, it's a hill. It's a star. You know, you may not see the wonderment of that and that you and I didn't create it. Yeah. Right. But awe is something that unites people of faith and other folk. Yeah.

Because we can all have awe at the beauty of the galaxies. You may experience that with some kind of holyness. or sacredness, you may just experience it through beauty and the wonder of the miracle of science and nature that brought that to us. But there's something in there that connects the two parts. I had a special visit with the Pope a couple years ago. Wow.

Yeah, it was pretty amazing. Wow. They shut down the Vatican. This was for like two days. And he chose 25 entertainers from around the world that he believed were. excellent at their craft as well as... Was it Mike Barbiglia there too?

No. Okay, because he went and visited the Pope and they brought some, like Jim Gaffigan and a bunch of American Catholics, I think it was Conan O'Brien and maybe Stephen Colbert. This was before them. Okay, okay. Yeah, this was previous. I think it may have been the first one. Yeah, because they came like maybe a year later.

All right. But while we were there, and this was Pope Francis, while we were there, you know, it was a very intimate group. It was beautiful. And I myself am not Catholic. You know, there was some that were Catholic and some that were not. But he began talking about being preachers of beauty. And there was something about that. I had not really heard that phrase prior to that.

But in listening to him and experiencing him talk about beauty, there was something that I had not seen prior to that moment of the connection between beauty and holiness. and beauty and sacredness and how beauty in and of itself can can tell of the wonders of God. And in experiencing the Pope that way, it really was very life-changing, especially in such an intimate setting and with those words. And so as you're saying, talking about beauty, like you keep coming back to beauty. And I feel like you are connecting it with something very divine, which is beautiful. I am indeed.

Literally taking the limits off, taking the limits off of yourself, taking the limits off of God, what is actually possible? Many times we live in a very confined and constrained place, and we kind of just get used to life as it is without allowing ourselves to even envision more. And a lot of times it's because we don't want to be, We don't want to be disappointed. Okay.

You know, we don't want to be disappointed. And so one question that I ask in the book is what's the best that can happen? A lot of times we live in, what's the worst that can happen? Prepare for the worst, prepare for the worst, what's the worst that can happen? But just you asking yourself the question,

what is the best that can happen? Starts to pull you into another dimension, right? Into a higher place, a place of positivity, a place of hope, a place of faith, where you can believe, And so there's there's a chapter in the book where I talk about planning like a rock star right. We're talking about these practical steps. And I say, you know what? The serenity prayer.

That was one thing that I would always sort of leave with my audiences and in my workshops toward the end. We would say the serenity prayer together. And then I would kind of help them visualize it. Can control, can't control, right? Because the serenity prayer, God, great. God grant me. That's our exercise in the soul boom workbook. You know, literally like write down. Right. What is in your control? What is out of your control? What is in your control? What is in your control? And so there's a section of the book that helps you to go through what's in your control. What's out of your control? And then I created a new section that's believed for miracles. So of the things, of the dreams, of the visions that you have, what can you work toward? Right? Practically. What can you practically be working? You want. You want to be out of debt, what can you practically do?

You want to become an actor? What can you practically do? Well, what part is out of your control? It's out of your control of people hire you tomorrow. Sure. It's out of your control if you're on the cover of GQ magazine. But it is in your control that you have gone to school, that you have trained, that you have, you know, tried to challenge yourself with different characters. And market yourself and have a business plan and all the things.

You know, all that, all of that. Right. All of that. Pavement. Yeah. And we, with Abundant Life, we started a whole school for artists called The School for Life, you know, Abundant Life You and Artist CEO was a whole program, like all those things, artist CEO.

But then it's like, where's the belief for miracles? Where is the part where you know that if it was not for some kind of divine intervention, this probably could not happen? But making a list there too, what are you going to be audacious enough to believe for that? you know is outside of your control, but that lives in a miraculous territory. And being able to do that, I have found, being open to miracles, being open to. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the possibility that something could happen. Yeah, because most of the time we are constrained by the how. So even if we allow ourselves, even if we get out of our box long enough to allow ourselves to

envision it, still what I have found can hold people back is the how. but how. And if I don't know the how, then it's like, oh, I'm defeated and I'm back where I started. And so one chapter is confront what's holding you back. And it lists out all kinds of fears. It lists out all kinds of, you know, places where we get discouraged or are unprepared or are, you know, fill in the blank, right?

It helps you to go through those stages. But also it's, okay, if I'm going to believe this, let's, let's put how in the miracle category if I don't know the answer and begin to ask the questions like I said seek and ye shall find and so so going through that process then it becomes okay you know that that chapter playing like a rock star becomes okay that really practical how can you set up your days around your God dream how can you begin to set up in a very practical my map way, the things that you're actually believing for and intentionally working toward them while also understanding that part of this is me and part of this is God.

And that's what made me realize, oh, vision is holy. That there's something about vision and imagination. And when I started researching it even for the book and seeing this incredible connection between vision and spirituality and the idea that vision can be very prophetic, that there is a practical form of vision, right, which is our own two eyes. Some people say, oh, seeing is believing. Seeing is believing. I'll believe it when I see it.

Right. But then there's this kind of faith-filled vision that's very prophetic that says, I believe and therefore I see. I will see what I'm believing. And so in looking at my vision book, what I realize is that the manifestations in my life, unbeknownst to me, I saw them in the spirit first. And so they were a physical declaration of what was going to come in the natural realm. And so that was the super natural, right?

And so now when I teach people to do vision books, I ask them to make it a partnership. I asked them to make it a spiritual practice that allow God to take over your vision. What is he showing you? Yeah. But also this idea scientifically of neuroimagining where your brain does not make a distinction between what you envision and what's happened in real life. So the same, you know, serotonin and right, like these different chemicals, these wonderful, blissful feelings that we get,

when we experience something that we really love, we also get when we see something that we really love too. And there's something about that even scientifically that begins to draw us toward it. So, you know, I love vision. You know, I love encouraging people to tap into a higher vision for their lives. And that's why I wrote about that in the book.

And it's something that I have experienced in my own life where I always had a very small vision for myself. And for by hook or by crook, the universe kind of pulled me toward a larger vision of myself. It wasn't through my own doing. Yeah. I would love to say that it was. But I just wanted to be like a working actor.

I didn't care. I thought I would be at Arena Stage or Milwaukee Repertory Company playing like Bob Cratchett and the Christmas Carol and getting $785 a week. I mean, you were getting that much? That's what I, but that's what I thought my life was gonna be. And, you know, I did want to work in TV and film

because I wanted to pay bills and I wanted to pay my student loans. But I remember like sitting down with this new manager that I had when I was in LA. And he's like, so what do you want to do? Like Dreamberg. And I was like, well, I don't know. I could be like on a sitcom and be like the fifth lead of like the weird guy who lives in the garage who comes in.

He's like, no, no, no. Fuck that. And you said that. I said that. And he's like, no. He was like, no, no, no, you're going to think way bigger than that. You're going to be a producer. You're going to write books. You're going to star in shows. You're going to get Emmy nominations. You're going to star in films.

So it took someone else and I was like this nerdy kid. I was in at that point in my early 30s moving to LA and just like, wait, that kind of, I was like, it kind of blew my mind. But the universe provided It's someone who believed in me in a way that I couldn't believe in me. So what did I get wrong or what happened there? Because his vision for me came true. Right. But see, this whole time I've been talking about people prophesying. Right?

And how you can hear God in these different ways. Managers in Beverly Hills do not prophesy Edwina. Do you know what prophesying is? I don't. It's literally speaking something into existence. but there's a spiritual component behind it, but sometimes we don't, that's why I said, sometimes we don't know, we don't discern

the spiritual aspect of things. So you may not have realized or discerned, oh, what he's speaking to me is actually a prophetic vision of my future. But that's what he did. He may not have realized that that's what he was doing. But that's why I say that vision can be a very spiritual,

experience because it's a it's a preview of coming attractions he then placed into you the faith the belief that this was even possible because you yourself had not envisioned on that level way too limited in my in my thinking so that's also so your vision book would have been a vision it would have been a vision board and it would have had one thing on it and then it would have Crotch it, $785 a week. $785. But then it's like, well, once you get that, then what? Right?

And then what? And so he came and let you know who you were, what you were capable of. And I talk about that in the book, prophesy your future. And it's not always going to come from you. Here's something I bump against. Yeah. You know, you talk to young people today. You interview them.

What do you want? and what they want more than anything is fame. Okay. So, and the reason they want fame is very simple. If you're famous, you have money, you have sexual attraction, you have status, you have, you know, all of the essentials taken care of. And, but there's 300 plus million people in the United States. Maybe Andy Warhol is right. Everyone gets their 15 minutes of fame, but everyone can't be famous.

And one of the things I wonder. about vision boards is like you could be a school teacher or you can be a homemaker or you can be, you know, a landscape designer or like does it, does it lead people to dangerous ideas of like, I'm going to visualize being with Oprah and being a millionaire as opposed to I want to visualize being the best third grade teacher I can be or being the best bus driver I can be and having a great place and a beautiful family. And because this is the God dream, not the my dream, but the my dream is always for most of us, maybe not you for most of us. Ego driven. I want more stuff and less discomfort. And that's not how the universe works. More stuff and less discomfort is not how the universe

works. So that's a fantastic question. When I was young when I was coming out of NYU all I wanted was a series regular role I wanted to make that big paycheck I wanted to be famous I wanted to be in Hollywood I wanted all those things all those things what crossed it over was leaning into my calling what am I being called to do well right now I'm being called to lead vision workshops in low-income places while I myself am living in low-income housing, but I'm being called to bring joy to other people who are in circumstances just like mine. I have no idea how that's going to lead to all these other things I want, but I know that's what I'm being called to do. I'm being called to serve. In serving, I didn't know this, that other doors began to open up for me that were related to my purpose. I didn't realize that okay, like I thought you know,

you called me into arts and entertainment, right? Which I'm thinking is over here. So like I have no idea what any of this has to do with any of that. But I will surrender to my calling. What am I being called to do next? Start a nonprofit. So I start a nonprofit in my 20s, abundant life. Okay, well, what?

is that. And with each step of surrender to my calling, what it did was open up more and more doors that eventually ended up leading exactly over to this, which is why I would then write a book about vision that ends up being in the hands of Oprah Winfrey, who was the first person that ever read the book, and I end up being interviewed by her for the book. And I end up being interviewed by her for the book. After, meanwhile, doing five seasons as a series regular on television on the Oprah Winfrey network, somehow all those seeds that were being planted in surrender and in calling brought a harvest in the very place that I had hoped and prayed for the whole time.

You don't always know how you're going to get there. And if your why is as, I'm just going to say the word shallow, as I want a lot of money and I want a lot of people to know me, then that does mean that it's very self-serving. But a calling is never self-serving. A calling is always, what is the gift that's inside of you that is meant to bless a multitude of people? We all have a sphere of influence.

It could be two people, three people, five people. Could be your grandma, your grandpa, your neighbor, or it could be millions of people on TikTok, or it could be the hundreds of people, millions of people that have watched the office, right? Like, however many people it is, that's not the point. The point is showing up in your gift in this world because the world is waiting for you.

And you have to trust that by planting your gift and by surrendering to your gift, to your calling, that you're inviting, you're inviting prosperity into your life without that being the singular goal. And I think you weren't ready for your God dream at 25. I thought I was. You thought you were.

I wanted to be. And listen, at that time, I ended up receiving an offer for a huge Hollywood contract that I, I was sure was going to change my whole life. I was like, yes, this is it. This is the manifestation. Go God, yes, I am ready.

They flew me first class. I'd never flown first class before. Sent a stretch limousine and put me up in five-star hotel. Then the Oscars were happening again, right at right in front of that Chinese Groman Theater. And I'm looking like, wow, that's amazing. All these professional actors. And here I am, you know, with this offer.

but it came with a nudity clause attached to it. And that went against my convictions. And I was devastated because I'm like, how are you gonna let me like come to the promise land, right? Come to the mountaintop and then have this caveat attached to it that I have to perform nude if they so choose. And I prayed and prayed and I just did not feel the release. to do that.

And so that meant going back into what I write about, the waiting season, right? That place that we experience before the manifestation where things can feel so dark and they can feel so bleak and you can feel so far away from anything that looks like your dream, right, or your God dream. But I just had to believe that if I don't compromise in this way, my own conviction

that God will open a door for me. It just may take a little bit longer. And so I was in that waiting season for three years. And that's when I ended up being invited back to Hollywood, except this time it wasn't a big contract. It wasn't five-star everything. It was to speak and to pour my gift into the lives of other young artists coming up.

And that's when my camera took that picture by itself. Amazing. Harlem to Hollywood. You're a star. How that all comes around. incredible it all comes around yeah yeah i love that that idea that god says yes no or i've got something better in mind it takes so much faith to trust when a door is closed that you really want you know and i was that person like you know and then realize like okay that just may not be the

right door you know when i was listening to your interview with the uh wonderful uh Oprah winfrey she said something that I have been saying for a very long time. I'm not saying she stole it from me. I'm not. Oprah, if you're listening. No, no, not at all. But I always say this, which is, and she said this in the interview, and it was so crystal clear the way she said it, that,

and how I advise young actors or anyone who are making their life path is if you look at what you do as service, everything will line up. The whole, the ancient spiritual battle is ego versus God consciousness, right? And that's the dilemma that God put us here for. He could have put a bunch of like selfless angels down on this planet. Hey, I'm a selfless angel. All right there. Here's one.

I'm a selfless. We got one. You're the first one on the show. But we put the, you know, we are, we're ego strugglers. Such a tension between the two. There's attention and we have animal nature and we want to be seen and and loved and sexually desired and have status and and have comfort and But if you no matter what it is that you're doing my dad worked mostly in sewer construction and you know, but he showed up to be of service in that line of work and if you're no matter what you do you're a social worker or

or a therapist or a teacher, if you show up bringing your best service self to your line of work, doors will just start to open. And so I think that's an in addition between vision and the manifesting, there is faith and there is work and there is service. And that's exactly what. And for me, I put service in that faith category.

And the reason is because I believe that service is a spiritual practice. And I talk about, that in the book to a lot about service and that's why Oprah and I were having that conversation because I really feel and believe that nearly every huge manifestation that's happened in my life when I looked at the pattern it almost always came after serving someone else while I was reading the book I started to see that pattern of I was serving this person and then this

happened I was serving the the woman at the Bible study and then that happened right It's like I do believe that there's something very spiritual about sowing the seeds of service, right? I'm doing these vision workshops for these people and then, you know, and then suddenly end up in the promise land, right? That there is an absolute connection and undeniable connection, I believe, between you serving and doors beginning to open up for you because it's like you're willing to show up in the world in a generous way. You're willing to show up in the world for someone else. And that's why, you know, there's a double entendre in this title, The World is Waiting for You. One aspect of it is the world as in the things that you envision,

the things that you believe, what you hope can happen in your life is waiting for you. But the other part is the people of the world are waiting for you. Oh, that's nice. I hadn't thought of that. That's great. Yeah. In fact, that's really the first. They're waiting for the star to show up. To show up in my darkness. Radiant and shedding light. I need your light. I need your light in my situation. We are all here saying rain, Jessica, Edwina, Oprah, I'm waiting for you.

I need what you have to give. your gift, right? And so your calling is, it's, it's, it's your gift that's wrapped up in human form in the form of rain. Well, in my faith tradition, Abdulabaha says that work in the spirit of service is worship in the eyes of God. It's exactly what you're saying. But we often work, not in the spirit of service. That is so true. We work in the spirit of money or we work in the spirit of self-esteem And how does that feel? Yeah, it feels crappy. Yeah.

I struggle with that. Yeah. That is the struggle. Like you said, that's, that is the tension, the tension of see me, recognize me. How come they're not, I should, I should, you know, people talk about being worthy, right? I'm worthy of this, worthy of that, right?

And then it's also like, okay, I understand for your own affirmation, like feeling worthy, but what if you also feel unworthy? Like, what does that breed too? What does that breed? Will that breed gratefulness? will that breed all? Will that breed?

Wow, what I've experienced. I thought I was just going to be in a regional theater that nobody knows at $754 a week. $785.85. And somehow, but not just somehow, right? You received a vision.

It was spoken over you. You began to work like the Dickens to partner with that great spirit. Yeah. To manifest what we have right here. Yeah. The reason why we're able to sit down and even have this conversation is because you went on that journey. That's true.

The world was waiting for you, but also the world. Yeah. It was waiting for you. And I'm so blessed. I'm so blessed to have been on that journey. And I'm really blessed to have had you on the show and to get to meet you and your book. And, you know, us folks in Hollywood who are people of faith, Regardless of the background, regardless of the kind of faith,

we gotta stick together. And I love how you're using your voice and your heart and your spirit and shining that light to help other people. And millions are being helped from your interviews and that work in this book. And will continue to be entertained and uplifted through your acting. So I'm just such a pleasure and honor to have you here, Edwina.

Really. Thank you, Ray. Truly. Thank you for having me. This is beautiful. All right. I felt a soul boom. I felt a soul boom. The Soul Boom podcast. Subscribe now on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and wherever else you get your stupid podcasts. I really believe in gossip. I was like an information sharing network.

It's not gossip. It's oral history. Absolutely. I love gossip. Welcome to Pop Syllabus, a podcast that deconstructs the zeitgeist and answers the big cultural questions. I'm your host, Christianaer in Backway, Medina. I'm a writer, journalist, and cultural critic. You might know me from my time co-hosting What Now with Trevor Noah. The truth is, I'm obsessed with pop culture, what it means and what it says about us. Pop culture is shaped massively by women and primarily consumed by women. A lot of people think it's silly, vapid and unimportant. Here we believe the opposite. We believe pop culture is the arena where so much of our real-life beauty, contradictions and problems play out. It's a microcosm of our strange world, and it often tells us more about ourselves than we realize. So, Each week, I'll unpack a fuzzy topic with the help of a guest expert.

It could be a MacArthur winning academic, a pop star, an author who wrote a book I can't stop thinking about. Pop syllabus is where you'll come to understand the moment while living through it. And with that said, class is officially in session. The Pop Syllibus Podcast. Subscribe now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube, and wherever else you get your podcasts.