Soul Boom - Justice Denied: How Jerome Dixon Survived a Wrongful Conviction

Episode Date: November 12, 2024

A man wrongfully incarcerated for over two decades due to a coerced confession, Jerome Dixon shares his harrowing story of enduring 25 hours of police interrogation without legal representation, resulting in a life-altering prison sentence at just 17. Despite his wrongful conviction, Jerome's journey of self-discovery, resilience, and advocacy shines through as he recounts how he survived 21 years behind bars and now champions juvenile justice reform. This conversation dives into the flaws of the criminal justice system, the power of personal transformation, and the urgent need for legislative change. Jerome Dixon is a justice reform advocate and vice-chairman of the Anti-Recidivism Coalition. Wrongfully imprisoned for 21 years, Jerome now dedicates his life to ensuring juveniles' rights in police interrogations. Thank you to our sponsors! Airbnb: http://airbnb.com/host Waking Up app (1st month FREE!): https://wakingup.com/soulboom Fetzer Institute: https://fetzer.org/ MERCH OUT NOW! https://soulboomstore.myshopify.com/ Sign up for our newsletter! https://soulboom.substack.com SUBSCRIBE to Soul Boom!! https://bit.ly/Subscribe2SoulBoom Watch our Clips: https://bit.ly/SoulBoomCLIPS Watch WISDOM DUMP: https://bit.ly/WISDOMDUMP Follow us! Instagram: http://instagram.com/soulboom TikTok: http://tiktok.com/@soulboom Sponsor Soul Boom: [e-mail] Work with Soul Boom: [e-mail] Send Fan Creations, Questions, Comments: [e-mail] Produced by: Kartik Chainani Executive Produced by: Ford Bowers, Samah Tokmachi Companion Arts Production Supervisor: Mike O'Brien Voicing Change Media Theme Music by: Marcos Moscat Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey, Soul Boom Generation, I've got a really exciting announcement for you. We've got a substack. If you love the Soul Boom podcast and book and ideas, then you're going to want to get our weekly newsletter substack sent to your inbox. It's magnificent. There's going to be fantastic guest authors. Some are written by me. A lot of them delve into the ideas around the podcasts that we're doing that week. So sign up. Please subscribe. Go to soulboom.substack.com. Thank you. You're listening to So. July 26, 1990, a murder occurred in East Oakland, California. I was with my friends hanging out at the apartment complex, and I was awaiting for a friend of mine, Randy, to come pick me up to take me home.

And as I am in the middle of the street flagging Randy down, a patrol car comes down the avenue. the car stops, the officer gets out, patch me down, places me in the backseat of the patrol car, and immediately drives me to a crime scene. I am met by a army of law enforcement officers. A sergeant comes to the side of the patrol car door, opens it, and his exact words to me was, young man, you have a lot of explaining to do about,

that dead body. Hey there, it's me, Rain Wilson, and I want to dig into the human experience. I want to have conversations about a spiritual revolution. Let's get deep with our favorite thinkers, friends, and entertainers about life, meaning, and idiocy. Welcome to the Soul Boom podcast. So, you know, we're not afraid to get profound, and we're not afraid to have a sense of humor and be a little...

Neither am I. Yeah, irreverent. I know that about you. So just so you know, like, we can also have a little fun here. If we don't have fun, then I don't want to be here. Okay. If we can't laugh about my nightmare, I don't want to be here. All right.

I love that. I'm telling you right now, Rang, it's okay to poke me. No, I'm serious. Okay. It's okay to take me to a place where you may think I don't want to go. Right. It's okay. I've been there.

Just a quick question. Is my forehead too shiny? Yes, it is. Let's roll. Jerome Dixon, talk us through the story. I mean, there's so many questions I want to ask you. You've been such an inspiration, getting to know you. I cannot even possibly remotely imagine the ordeal that you have been through since 1990.

But in order to get there, we've got to start at the very beginning. start on that on that fateful night and tell us what happened july 26 1990 probably about 939 45 p.m. a murder occurred in east Oakland California and I was with my friends hanging out at the apartment complex and I was awaiting for a friend of mine Randy to come pick me up to take me home. Randy passed by the apartment complex. He didn't see me and my other friends sitting in the parked car. I saw Randy. I jumped out of the car, ran into the middle of the street to flag Randy down, who had not seen me. And as I am in the middle of the street flagging Randy down, a patrol car comes down the avenue. The car stops. The officer gets out. The officer gets out.

patch me down, places me in the backseat of the patrol car, and immediately drives me to the crime scene, a crime scene, which was probably about a block and a half, two blocks away. We drive into the parking lot, and I am met by a army of law enforcement officers. A sergeant comes to the side of the patrol car door, opens it, and his exact words to me was, young man, you have a lot of explaining to do about that dead body. I peer over the patrol car hood from the back seat, and you could see that there was a body laying on the ground with the sheet over it and blood running from the side. and you could see that there was a body laying on the ground with the sheet over it and blood running from the side. I don't remember exactly what I said in response to the question the officer asked, but I said something along these lines.

I don't know what you're talking about. I was with my friends right up the street. They are still there. in fact, they're right behind us in the crowd. You could go ask them what I was doing and who I was with. The sergeant replied, young man, if that's the game you want to play, so be it. Hours later, I am driven downtown. I am met by two plain-clothed officers, investigating officers.

How old are you at this point? I'm 17. When did they call your parents? 25 hours later. So while I'm in this room, I'm being interrogated about this murder. The first seven hours of this interrogation, the officers were extremely friendly. Going into that 14th hour, those officers became authoritative, aggressive with their questioning. in the 21st hour, that aggressive, authoritative tone that they had with me was now,

this is what they do to little kids like you in prison if you don't tell us what we want to hear. In that 25th hour, I was so gone from the line of questioning that they were asking me. I caved into their demands and signed off on a false confession. a confession that was false, but this confession alone was used against me, which got me a sentence of six years in the California Youth Authority for first-degree murder, three counts of robbery, and assault with a deadly weapon. I was sentenced to the California Youth Authority to six years for first-degree murder and three counts of robbery and assault with a deadly weapon.

six months into this committed sentence, I was brought back to court. Now I am 18. My six-year commitment was now vacated, and I was now being tried as an adult. Now, an adult court with the same public defender, the public defender says to me, I'm in a whole new ballgame, and I need to give up names and whereabouts of my, co-defendants, and if I didn't give up those names, I would go to trial and based on my confession alone, I would receive the maximum sentence of 50 years to life in prison. Or I can choose a lesser sentence being from first degree to a second degree murder and be

sentenced to a life sentence of 18 years to life. Choose my form of cancer is what the public defender said. They're telling me one thing and they're telling my parents something else. Me, uh, not understanding the laws, being ignorant to the laws and the practices, I chose the latter to be sentenced to a lesser charge from a first degree to a second degree. And I was sentenced to 18 years to life. I went back to the California Youth Authority and when I turned 23, I was transferred from the California Youth Authority to the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation,

i.e. prison. So I was given an indeterminate life sentence and I sat in prison for a crime I didn't do for 21 and a half years. I also want to add, you know, for those 25 hours that I was kidnapped by law enforcement officers, I was nothing more but an empty shell of a child. when they finally allowed me to call home in that 25th hour my mother could not recognize my voice her son's voice I heard my mother in the background as I called she said to my sister Leah

there's somebody on the other line says it's Jerome it's not my Jerome find out who this person is my sister Leah gets the phone she says hello who is Who is this? I said, it's Jerome. They have me downtown for murder. Just having all kinds of feelings right now. Tell me, for those of us who don't know, I don't know much about the law or the jail. I got arrested once. We shared this in common. I was 12 years old. I was toilet papering houses and egging houses in Lake Forest Park, Washington.

and the LFPPD brought down the heat and called my parents after about 12 minutes. And my dad picked me up. I didn't even really get into trouble. So that's a feeble attempt at humor in the midst of tragedy. But that's what we're about here at Soul Boom. Tell us that first 25 hours, what should have happened? What did you learn? That sounds like something that would happen in a military police state,

authoritarian police state somewhere without any rule of laws. Talk about Miranda rights, the fact that you should have had a lawyer present, that your parents should have been present. How is it possible that you were interrogated without your parents there at 17 and that the whole thing wasn't thrown out because they weren't there with you? Like, what the fuck went on in that first 25 hours? For starters, Ryan, that is a damn good question. What should have happened was my parents being notified about

my detention immediately. Yeah, first call. First call. The second thing that should have happened was that I should have been awarded an attorney or someone in authority to help me understand the meaning of Miranda rights. If those two things alone would have been administered, I would not have been convicted for a crime I didn't do. In the 1990s, Miranda rights, child Miranda rights was not a topic of conversation. It wasn't a hot button issue. I think we've seen it over the years, the decades, how children have been duped into confessing into crimes to crimes that they didn't commit. There's countless stories out there.

I don't even need to mention the names. Did they ever find the murder weapon? Did they ever have any, like, clue about who actually did this murder? Because, first of all, just on a common sense level, like, let's say you killed the guy. So what, you're hiding out in the middle of the street? Like, it doesn't make any sense. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's the last place a murderer would be is, like, in the middle of the street going, like, hey, Randy.

You're absolutely right. And what about all of my friends who I was with in the parking lot standing behind me? And they wouldn't even interview them. They wouldn't even talk to them. Not at all. They had zero interest in finding the truth. Zero interest. Just like black guy fits the description somehow conveniently.

It will just hang it on him. Yes, 100%. So sad, but true. That was the reality that I existed in. And that is the reality to. today. To my knowledge, the murderer, the individuals that did commit this crime have not been found, charged, convicted. You know, the time was served. There was not a single shred of evidence. There was a fingerprint. There was an eyewitness that put you there. There was a story about the eyewitness, right?

The eyewitnesses would not even identify me moments after the murder occurred as I'm sitting in the back of the patrol car. So they were brought over like, is this the guy who did it? They were like, no. That's right. You're absolutely correct. In the backseat of the patrol car, moments after the murder occurred, a light was flashed on me. The three remaining victims walked over to the patrol car and they could not identify me as the shooter. or one of the individuals that robbed them that night.

And I'm taking it, too, and that's 25 hours when you signed that false confession. You didn't sleep one wink in that time. Not at all. I went to the bathroom one time. The investigating officers escorted me to the bathroom one time. They brought me a sack lunch, but I did not have any appetite to eat or to drink water. I again rain I was nothing more but an empty shell of a child yeah yeah I mean the the the you were in that flight fight fear trauma response you know like wild animals in the

wild they get in that and they just they go into like literally like a coma where they're just where they're just shaking you know even playing dead just overwhelmed rain watch this I remember being in that room when the office would leave. I remember shaking uncontrollably, uncontrollably with fear of the unknown. I remember in that 25th hour, the investigating officer, you know, they just continuously said, if you tell us what we want to hear, we'll let you go. And finally, in that 25th hour, I remember I laid my head on the table. And I began to cry, uncontrollable. I picked my head up and I said, fine. Whatever you want to know, I'll tell you. The investigating

officer slammed his hands on the table and said, finally, we're going to get somewhere. The truth. It's torture. You know, Rayne, just imagine your child in that room for 25 hours. You want your child to be protected. You want your child's rights to be protected. You want your child's rights to be protected. and none of that happened for me. So again, just imagine your child in a setting that I just painted. You don't know how your child would act or respond in a situation like that.

All I wanted to do, Rain, was go home. Yeah. I wanted my mom. I kept crying and saying, I want my mom. I want my mom. my mom and they said we'll we'll give her to you you you could get that call as soon as you tell us what we want to hear i didn't see my mom until 21 years later yeah um i don't even know how to have this conversation to be honest with you you know rain for when i walked into prison as a child

i couldn't see the end i had no end I had no speck of light at the end of my tunnel. I don't know if you remember the series, Buck Rogers. Yeah. Okay? Buck Rogers in the 25th century. That was a big... You're kind of a nerd, aren't you? You got a little...

Hey, listen. You're like a prison nerd. You know it. Okay. You know it. All right. And so growing up, we all used to watch Buck Rogers in the 25th century. Yeah.

And... Eib-de-be-de-de-a-day. Hey, Buck. You got it. Yeah. And in the 90s, there was a catchphrase because crime was just so uncontrollable back then. And the catchphrase was, if children are going to be committing crimes like adults, they need to be punished like adults. And so they started giving out Buck Buck Rogers dates. So if you got locked up in the 1990s, the Buck Rogers.

the Buck Rogers date that you would receive would be somewhere in the 21st century. Think about it. So I couldn't even see the end at the end of this ordeal that they just, you know, signed off on, this nightmare, this prison sentence. And I remember, you know, walking into prison at a young age. And I was terrified. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. And I remember there was an individual that came up to me on the prison yard.

And he said to me, he said, youngster, I don't know how much time you have. But if you want to survive this, there's three things that you should do. one don't fuck with punks don't gamble and don't click up that's the only three things he said to me he said if you want to survive this you do these three things you'll get to the end i didn't know what that meant then but going through that nightmare that whole experience it made all the sense in the world and i want to get to how you survived uh 21 years uh and lock up because that story is pretty, pretty damn inspiring. But before we leave this whole mess of that,

especially the first 25 hours, but a lot more went down than that. Like, who the hell are these people? Who was the detective? Who was the district attorney? Who were these people not interested remotely in finding justice? Not remotely.

Just tax. the closest black guy they could find. Who are these guys? They must have done this dozens of other times. I believe that they had a formula to follow in the early 90s. And that formula, again, going back to that catchphrase, if children are going to be committing crimes like adults, we need to punish them like adults.

So these individuals, they had a formula. And that formula was, in my opinion, Once we get them round up, let's lock them up by any means. Let's lock them up. Whatever the cost is, let's lock them up. Because we need to protect public interest at all costs. So this was the beginning of that whole war on drugs thing. Yes, it was.

The inner city, mass incarceration. This was the beginning, the birth of that mass incarceration, boom. And I got rounded up and caught up in this net. of kids being punished like adults. How do you feel about those guys? There's a handful, especially, of truly, like, corrupt individuals at the center of this. How do you feel about those guys?

You must have a list of names. You know, in Game of Thrones when, what's her name? Sanya, the young stark. Sonsa. Sonsa has that list of names of who she wants to. kill like and she runs over that list of names of those of those guys and maybe even add a judge or two to that list like how do you how do you live with that i mean the system is broken yes okay we can talk about systemic racism and systemic injustice yes and they're just operating there are

cog in that big giant machine sure but they don't have to be a cog they don't have to that was that was their choice and how do you how do you feel about their individual responsible in this, are you able to forgive these guys? Were you ever able to have a conversation, write a letter? How do you process this group of really, like, heinous assholes that locked up a 17-year-old? Well, let me, let me start by saying, Rain, you know, I am a firm believer in the mantra, protect and serve. I believe it or not, I still believe in the mantra of protecting and serving. I also know, I've learned, I've come to learn that there was a small group of people that had something to do with the injustice that I was served, and they don't represent the masses.

Do I have a scroll list of individuals? Absolutely. But should I hold all law enforcement accountable for my injustice? No. Yeah, but let me push back on that. a little bit because you always hear this and it comes out like there'll be some cop who beat up a kid in the back of his car and turned off his body camera and blah blah blah and he's convicted and then that happens in Indianapolis and then it happens in Jacksonville and then it happens in Atlanta and then it happens in Seattle and it's like oh it's a bad apple it's like oh it's just one bad apple sure oh there's a couple bad apples and the rest of the cops are all good but like systemically we have a system, a justice system, an injustice system, that fosters bad apples.

There's more bad apples in law enforcement than any, you never hear about that with other occupations. I agree. You know, like, we're the bad apples who are dentists. We're breeding bad apples, and we can't just dismiss it by saying there was a couple people here and this guy here and this guy over here and this little gang of guys in Baltimore that would beat the shit out of people in the back of police cars. Like, you know what I mean? Absolutely.

You know, I can't, you know, go after those individuals and say, you know what, you fucked my life up. Yeah, that would be, you robbed me. The Hollywood movie version is you get out of prison and you go after them. But is that really justice right there? Again, like, after going through all that, people say to me, dude, why aren't you mad? I can't be mad.

To be mad, I would not I would not be able to sit on the other side of this microphone and have this conversation with you. There's too much energy that will be lost as a result of me being mad and I can't be present.

If we can go back to the 21 years in prison and what it was like for me, I always paint this picture of a person holding a live grenade. I was holding a live grenade. Inside this live grenade was my 18th birthday, all my milestone birthdays.

It was, you know, my nieces and nephews being born, my sisters being married, all the milestone moments that took place in two decades was inside this live grenade that I had to hold on to. and this live grenade represented my sanity. And I knew that I've come to learn that the moment that I would let this live grenade go would be the moment that I would explode or implode. It's very difficult trying to hold a live grenade for life for 21 years.

But if you could imagine that what it was like to hold such a, destructive device, you would understand what it was like for me to be in that hell of a hole. My sisters would come to visit me four times a year, probably three hours per visit. So that's 12 hours a year that I saw my family, excluding my mother. And when my sisters came to visit, I had to put on a show to show them that I was handling. this nightmare because to show them that I was being broken in this system would devastate them and that would ultimately affect their well-being. On the other hand, my mother, she refused to come visit me. Not because she felt or believed that I was guilty. She refused to come because my mother

was under the mindset that if her child is innocent and she goes to see her child, her child should be coming home with her. That was a reality that my mother knew was not true, and my mother just could not mustered up the courage to come visit me. So it was very difficult for me, but in the interim, my mother and I, we developed a love language. We corresponded, and I would outline my handprint on a blank piece of paper to show my mother how much I had my hands,

my physical demeanor had been progressing and growing over the years. And so I would outline my handprint. And then I would take that piece of paper and hold it up to my chest, and I would hug it, let the paper get real wrinkled up. And I would just shove it in an envelope and mail it off to her. And that was our love language. This is the way that me and my mother and I communicated over the years. And when I came home, my mother and I, we had a conversation.

an in-depth, heartfelt conversation, and it all became clear to me why she took that stance. Now, obviously, Rain, I couldn't understand that going through that 21-year-old deal, but when I came home, I understood very well again, Ray, put yourself in my mom's position, think about your child going through that ordeal. think about you holding that grenade or your child holding a live grenade. It's very difficult, but it was necessary for my sanity to do so. You were a runner in prison. Tell us about that.

So I remember those three things that the individual came up to me and said, if I wanted to survive, well, I never clicked up. So because I never clicked up, that meant that I couldn't partake in, some of the yard functions because I wasn't part of a car or a group or a gang in prison. And so that meant the only neutral zone on the prison yard was the track. And so when they would release us to the yard for program, I would just run. I would run for four to five hours a day. Every single day.

That was, you know, my happy place, if you will. And, you know, it was, it was, what was interesting is that in retrospect, I remember there would be guards coming out and placing bets on me to see how long I would go. See how long I would last because, you know, some institutions, you know, in some California institutions, the weather would be as high as 100 degrees in the summertime. And I would still be running four or five hours out of the day in 90, 100 degree weather. What specific prisons were you in? One specific, I was in Folsom. I was in Sierra Conservation Center, James Town. I started in DVI, which is in Tracy.

And then the last institution that I was at was the California men's colony in San Luis Obispo. And, you know, again, you know, the yard was my only happy place. Now, let's back up a little bit too. But before I got to that happy place where I learned how to walk through time, being trapped in time, if you can understand that, I was in a dark place. Remember, I couldn't see the end, the light at the end of my tunnel. And so my first couple years, Rain, I was in a dark place, a dark cave where I was trying to process what happened to me. How did I get here? You know, when is this ever going to be over? My belief in God

was shattered. I was raised Catholic and, you know, my mother always instilled in us, you know, the Bible and teachings and rituals, et cetera, but none of that could apply to me when I was in that nightmare. Yeah. I couldn't see myself pleading with God, you know, to get me out of this because... Was there kind of a, like, how could you do this to me? Absolutely. I raised a war. I raged a war against my God. Yeah. Obviously, he won all the battles, you know, but I raged a war against God. I was like, screw you. I want nothing to do with you, your rituals. None of it. Because what manner of God would put a child through this?

And so while in that dark cave, fighting with God, you know, there came a break. A little speck of light at the end of that tunnel. And I acquired insight into my life. And I began to see the person that I was, the true version of myself. and I began to have a conversation, an honest conversation, with that 17-year-old kid. And I asked that 17-year-old kid, the pertinent question that everybody wanted to ask,

why the fuck did you confess to a crime you didn't do? Why'd you do it? Help me understand this. And as I confronted this 17-year-old kid, child, it all made sense. He spoke to me and he cried uncontrollably. He said, I didn't know what else to do. I was afraid.

And I was in a corner. And the only way I thought to get out of that hole, that corner, was to tell them what they wanted to hear. So I did. And me being a man, I confronted that 17-year-old child. And I embraced them. We cried together. And I said, from here on out, I'm going to be your man.

And if anybody wants to harm you or talk shit to you, send them to me. And I'll be your protector. Let me give me an example. Rayne, I have a picture of myself as a six-year-old, as a reminder to always protect him. I am his man. and as we began to embark on this path together to that little light, that speck of light at the end of our tunnel, my perspective, our perspective changed. We saw ourselves for who we were.

Innocent people, innocent men, innocent child in prison. And we had to forge our way up out of here, one step at a time. We couldn't run to the end. We had to walk slowly to this. speck of light at the end of the tunnel and we did and as a result of it I'm sitting right here before you we are you both are we both are you know there's a kind of therapy that I've done that does just that it's called a Gestalt therapy and the idea is that inside of us is a committee there's a whole

bunch of people in us there's a wounded toddler there's an angry six-year-old, there's a rebellious 13-year-old, there's a lost 17-year-old, there's our addict self, there's our judgmental self, there's who's like a school principal kind of self, you know, that beats ourselves up. There's all these different aspects of us inside of ourselves. And the goal of that kind of therapy is to, which I've done a lot, is you put that person in a chair and you have a conversation, whether it's the three, year old, a six-year-old. It doesn't matter. It's like whatever you were going, when you had a trauma and you get in a dialogue, and then you go sit in the chair and you become that 13-year-old

and you have the conversation with the adult, and you tell the adult, the adult asks questions, 13-year-old answers. You can do it by journaling, too. You don't have to do it in like an acting exercise, but it's incredibly powerful, especially you're interrogating like your addict. or your worst self, your scared self, and it gives you such a great empathy for all of those characters that we all have in our heads. It can be incredibly healing, and it sounds like without even knowing shit about therapy,

you undertook this kind of like really proven therapeutic practice and put it to work. Yeah, but let me also add to that. I had to make myself vulnerable again to self. Because if I was not willing to make myself vulnerable, then I wouldn't

have made that breakthrough of, you know, in acquiring that personal insight. And it's very difficult trying to, you know, reliving trauma. It's very difficult going back to when the trauma

originated. Because, you know, time had passed and you've learned how to forget about what had happened. But it wasn't the case for me. I had to go back to where it happened in order to understand my present state. Yeah. And as I started to understand my present state, it led me into my future. And we always, no matter who you are, you don't have to go to prison, but that trauma does have to be unpacked somehow or other. It sucks. It's vulnerable. It's the last place you feel like you want to go but sure it's got to get unpacked in order to move forward i was

thinking a little bit about the idea of prisons and i was talking to my friend on my way here and we were talking about certain addicts are like ghost ships you know ghost ships like a ship washes on shore in japan and it was used to be like a north korean fishing boat but all the guys are dead on it and they don't know how many years or months it was just floating out there and it just floats in the or just ghost ships, still sailing, still floating around, but just empty. With certain kinds of addiction, you can get by, you know, you can go, you can get along in your life and be functional,

but there are people that are like ghost ships. That's a kind of a prison. Addiction is a kind of a prison. Mental illness is kind of a prison. Mental health stuff is a prison. Materialism is a prison, workaholism. marriage your life goes on and all

it can be yeah all of these things are stuff we can get trapped in now doesn't hold a candle to actually be behind bars that's now I'm not trying to say that but so much of what we talk about on soul boom and so many people are doing some amazing work you know what are tools

that we can use to get out of whatever prison we're in so you're in real prison not pretend prison not a prison of the mind or a prison of circumstance. You weren't like a victim to your thinking and your behavior. You were an actual victim of the prison criminal justice system and behind bars 21 years. What tools did you turn to while you're battling with God

to stay sane and get by? Because I really am thinking, like, I could learn from what you had to do to survive. you know, how often do you look into your own mirror? Every day, every other day, you know, you, people tend to, I, rephrase that, I choose not to look into my own mirror when I did something wrong. I don't want to accept that truth. So one of the tools that I had to learn, how to accept and use was when I did something wrong, I had to acknowledge it. You can't move

forward until you acknowledge that truth. I couldn't have gotten out of my internal cave until I acknowledge my truth, my mistake. And you have to apply that same principle, that same exercise every single day. Every moment that you make a mistake, you have to look in the mirror and say, what did I do wrong? You correct it. There was a couple phrases that I would always

utter to myself in prison. Number one is, hey, listen, when you make a mistake, honor it, correct it. That way you won't ever make it again. The second thing is, we would always say it's better to be free in the midst of bondage than to be free and bondage to something.

That's exactly what we're talking about here, yeah. So as long as I looked at my inner self and I acknowledged my mistakes, I'm moving forward. I'm progressing in life. I'm building a true version of myself. And you stand on those principles. And you never waver. You continue to build.

It's like, you know, people working out who've never had muscles. All of a sudden, they work out and they have this routine, this daily routine. You see the progress. Now their bodies are full of muscles. Muscles you never even knew you had. So as long as you continue to work on your inner self like that, you'll see the progress and other people would see it too. I developed this learned behavior in prison, and that was always check myself. Always check myself.

Did you say the right thing? Did you do the right thing? Are you having the right thoughts? Yeah, it's difficult. But in, you know, in prison, there's only a couple things. You have a daily routine of maybe four or five things. You get up, go to chow, you go to your work assignment, come back, take a shower, repeat. It's every single day.

Nothing changed. Won't change a bit. Even on holiday, you don't even have holidays in prison. So, you know, I had to, again, work on myself every single day. Every single day. There was never a holiday for me in prison. I came home into the free world. Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.

Like, how does that manifest? If you've got to check yourself every day, and every day is that kind of like soul-numbing routine. Like how does that, you know, how does that transcribe to being, to being out? Do you check, how does that trauma manifest itself? Do you got to check yourself? You're married now. Like, how, you know, how do you not just keep yourself behind walls?

Well, you know, it's interesting because, you know, when I came home, I was led to believe that I had to be perfect. I couldn't be mad. I couldn't make mistakes. This is what I was led to believe, which was a lie. How were you led to believe that? Well, it was a lie you told yourself. It was a lie that I told myself. For example, you know, if after doing 21 years in prison, I can't.

came home and the slightest outburst of anger displayed would cause people to say, I knew it. You are a time bomb. Wow. You are a violent person. Yeah. I knew it. And I grappled with that for a long time. What incredible pressure that puts on someone alike.

I've got to be perfect. I can never react. I can never lose my temper. I can never even get frustrated. You know, slam my hand. down on the table because then, you know, prison corrupted me. That's right. And I was a violent youth and I haven't, you know, solved these issues, my anger management

issues. That's right. And that was the biggest lie that I told myself. Yeah. And I realized I do have a right to be mad. You know what it's like to drive in L.A. traffic? At the height of commute, which is every day all day. All too well.

Yeah. I have a right to be mad. I have a right. to be mad. But people assume that I don't have, you know, they told me that I don't have a right to be mad. And when I realized that I do have those rights, again, my life, my perception changed.

You know, so coming home into this new world with this new reality and new lived experiences, I had to adapt. and adapting was very difficult. It is very difficult because there are some things that I learned in prison that free people have not learned. For example, how do I let some things go?

How do I let the fact that law enforcement kept me in a room for 25 hours pressured me into confessing to a crime I didn't do, which resulted in me doing 21 years. How am I not mad at them? You could be mad, but I can't be mad. And I'm not mad because I've learned to just let it go. You know, some of the lessons that I learned in prison

was learning how to let it go. Like, I talk with my wife all the time when there's something bothering her or us or whatever the case may be, and we talk about the analogy of the grenade. when they told me to get out of prison, rain, I left the grenade at the door. And I walked away. And this is how I can prove to you

that I've walked away by leaving that grenade at the door. Because look at me, look where I'm at. I'm able to have a conversation with you. Like I said, in the opening, if I was mad, I would not be able to sit here on the other side of this microphone and have this conversation with you. you have to learn how to let go.

Don't forget, but learn how to let go. I know that that may sound a little bit difficult, but you can let it go. You know, I have relatives that can't forgive a cousin because the cousin didn't invite them to the one night of the wedding reception and limited it to like 12 people, and they haven't talked to them in 14 years.

And they're like, they can't forgive that. cousin. They can't let that go. You're talking about forgiving. The cops had arrested you. Nope, not forgiving. Never said forgiving. All right. Well, I said let go. All right. Big difference. Well, is it though? Because, you know, because let's turn to spiritual virtues. So the um, forgiveness is, uh, something I think that happens between people. Like I forgive this person who did me wrong if that person broke the law That doesn't mean they get off scot-free. They need to suffer the consequences of what they did But I forgive them and are you saying that you have not forgiven the the officers and the district attorney

But you just simply have allowed yourself to let it go? Is there you'd so there's kind of a differentiation there? Absolutely a And let me break it down for you. My definition of forgiveness in this situation is I recognize what you did to me. So I'm going to have an extended arm in dealing with you. I'm not forgiving you for what you have done. I'm going to treat you with a long arm. I'm going to communicate with you. In other words, you know, what you did to me so many years, 34, 35 years ago, will never happen again.

because I know how to deal with you and what you did. I know. I haven't forgiven, but I now have the wherewithal to stand up to you. If you put me in a room right now with two investigating officers with regards to a crime that happened, I know how to defend myself. I know my rights.

I didn't know that back then. That's the difference from forgiving and forgetting. So I know how to deal with that. All right. That makes sense. But everybody is different. You talk about family. Give you a perfect example.

I had 21 years to work on myself every single day, 24 hours a day, extremely work on myself. My family did not have those luxuries to work on themselves because they had all these free devices to tap into, to avoid dealing with self-truth. So when I came home, just like you mentioned, you had a relative who still has a 14-year grudge. You know, my family, they too had issues that were unresolved 20-some years ago. And when I came home, they wanted to impress those same issue, unresolved issues upon me. Well, why do I have to have that same belief system that you have? We're not the same. With that being said, I also learned that when I came to,

came home, I was, understand when I say this, I was the only sane person in an insane asylum. Damn. And so I had to walk a fine line in this insane asylum. Not to do so, I would become insane like everybody else. What am I saying? Look, I learned myself truth. And I could come home, I could have came home and denied that. self-truth and became insane like everybody else dealing with this with those unresolved issues i can't do

that that's the learning to come into a ton of family dysfunction absolutely uh you know resentments backbiting sure look when i left i was 17 years old a child and i came home when i was 38 i'm 50 i'll be 51 next in march next month and so you know this this this this void in my life, when I came home, I still had that 17-year-old mindset, just to put it in perspective, rain. When I came home, I didn't have a girlfriend. I wasn't dating prior to being locked up. And I came home to, and I had to learn how to date.

Went to the movies with a girl. I'm saying to myself at 38, 39 years of age, oh, is this the opera, this time where I'm supposed to grab her hand. Am I supposed to make the move? I mean, think about it. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah.

You know, when I met my wife, I was using terms like puppy love. She thought I was like, dude, what's wrong with you? Nobody uses those terms anymore, puppy love. But it was the truth. That was my truth. I was growing into this mature, physical man. You know? Yeah.

I looked like a 38-year, well, you know, I don't look like I'm 50, but I'm just saying. You don't. Black don't crack. You know, I have some truth serum if you want to buy some of this truth serum. You know what I mean? I could show you how to be youthful, man. Oh, okay. All right. Just do a little prison time to preserve you. Oh, damn.

But, no, seriously, you know, so I had to, you know, accept this new reality, and I had to pace myself in this new world with my sane way of thinking. And not to do so, I would become caught up. in this insane reality, logic, backbiting, et cetera. And I just couldn't do that. I can't do that because I learned so much about myself. And so again, we go back to the tools. What tools that I learned while I was in prison to help me become this person that I am today?

Again, is going back to self-truth, identifying those issues in your life and making yourself vulnerable. It's okay to be vulnerable to self. lie to self. Lying to self, where's it going to get you? And that afforded me with the opportunity to really appreciate life and where I'm at, which is why I can't be mad at something that happened so many years ago. Being mad right now, I would deny myself these self-truths that I'm experiencing right now. And this is what life is about for me is being present in the moment.

I can't do anything about my past. happened yeah yeah that's one of the top five spiritual lessons of all time you know we can't do anything about the past um we can learn from it but uh which you've done but you know they say resentment is like drinking a poison waiting for the other person to die so true and uh what's your relationship with god like now it's still estranged you know i i'm still battling with god with god Do I believe that there is a power graded and manned out there? Absolutely. But as far as practicing principles and rituals, I have a problem with that. I don't believe that.

So you don't pray? My prayer, my form of prayer is looking in my mirror and acknowledging, you know, my flaws and building on them. That's my form of prayer. Making yourself a better person. Making myself a better person. One day at a time. That's my form of prayer. I say that with conviction.

And I do that every single day. Sun up, some down. I'm not saying that I'm perfect. What I'm saying is that my form of prayer is acknowledging my insecurities, my flaws in making them stronger. Do you meditate? Absolutely. I meditate.

Meditating is definitely an intricate part of my life. Sometimes I'll put headphones on, and I won't even turn music on or anything. I'll just have them in. People would think that I'm listening to something, but I'm really meditating. Being married to Braha, I could completely relate. That's, you know, spitfire. That's my little spitfire. And, you know, sometimes I love my wife, but sometimes I've learned, I have learned to tune her out, you know,

because it, you know, you have to have some me time. Yeah, yeah. You know, and meditating, you know, is, again, it's an intricate part of my daily rituals. You still run? Absolutely. I'm getting ready to run my ninth marathon on St. Patrick's Day. And you coach specifically maybe youths that are dealing with the criminal justice system. Maybe they're going in.

Maybe they're coming out. Correct. And you work real hard with the Anti-Recidivism League Union. What's it called? The Anti-Recidivism Coalition. Coalition. What does anti-recidivism mean? Anti-recidivism means against the revolving justice system door.

Yeah. So in other words, we want to stop individuals from getting out and going back into the system. Which is such a common problem. Correct. They go back out into a talk. toxic home work environment, economic environment with systemic racist issues in the criminal justice system and a year or two or three later they're just right back behind bars. Correct.

With no hope, with no opportunities, et cetera. And so I am vice chairman of the board for the Anti-Recidivism Coalition and we do a lot of policy work. We do a lot of advocacy work. Just to put it in perspective of five or six years ago, we present. presented 13 bills for lawmakers to sign into law. And out of those 13 bills, we got 11 of them signed into law. One of those bills in particular I'm most proud about, and that is the juvenile Miranda

Wright bill, Senate Bill 203. It was signed off by then Jerry Brown in 2017, protecting children 16 years and under. And so what the bill said was that any time a child was in a child. a custodial situation where they will be interrogated, an attorney will be present and explain line by line what their rights are. If that bill would have been in effect 30-some years ago, obviously my situation would have turned out dramatically different. So I was super excited when Jerry Brown signed that bill

into law protecting children 16 years and under. Fast forward, we thought that 16 years was not the appropriate age. It should be at least 18. under yeah so we went back to the state capital and push for amendment of that bill Senate bill 203 and it became Senate bill 3903 95 I'll get you know did you did you get the Miranda rights read to you my Miranda rights were not read to me they were read to me in the 25th hour right that's when my Miranda rights were finally administered right so you didn't know that you were entitled to not lawyer and that

what you said could be held against you. Correct. Yeah. Correct. And so now, Governor Newsom is in office with this new amended package bill, and he signed off on it. Now, there's a funny story. This was in 2021. I think this was right around where COVID, you know, every COVID was in place.

And this is when Zoom became so popular and everything. And so as the governor was signing off on this amended bill, they contacted me for the bill signing. And Governor Newsom had gave me a call. And when the call came in on my cell, it was from an unknown number. So I didn't pick up. And then the Zoom call happened. And then a couple minutes later, Governor Newsom signed, you know, came into the frame. And, you know, he talks with this raspy voice, Jerome, my man, I just gave you a call.

but you didn't pick my call up. And I said, what? I said, well, governor, I'm sorry. I guess this is a good opportunity for me to talk about, you know, robocalls because I thought it was a robo call. And I don't pick robocalls up. And so I said, you know, maybe this would be a good opportunity for you to sign off on robocalls. You know what I mean? And then, but there's a very interesting point that he made before he signed a bill.

He said to me, Jerome, if this bill would have been in a. when you were going through your ordeal, you probably would have been spared. So I'm signing this bill for you. That made my day. Hearing those words from Governor Newsom, signing off on this bill. And not only that, but it allowed me to see how I had come full circle. Because now I am the poster child for juvenile Miranda Ruranda rights, which brings me to this point. Good segue. which is what I'm doing now. California was the first to sign off on this juvenile Miranda-R-R-R-Ride bill package. And so now I am spearheading the charge to get this juvenile Miranda-R-R-R-Rinders bill package

federalized so that it applies in every single state and not just in California. Look, Ray, what happened to me, it was not just a California issue. This is happening in every single state. I am not a unicorn. There are many young men and women that are being duped into signing off on confessions that, you know, that are not true, which result in them being sentenced the crimes they did not do. And that's what I'm about. Standing for the people, the individuals, the young people that do not have voices. I am their voice standing on a mountaintop trying to get legislation to protect them from here on out.

Amazing, amazing, beautiful stuff. and tell me about your coaching that you're doing. So I coach young people, young men and women who are either getting ready to go into the system, who are in the system, and who are possibly getting ready to come out of the system. And so my standpoint is, you know what, you can go through the system and still be successful.

You can go through the system. Insane. Yeah, and wise. And wise. And you don't have to harbor, you know, what happened to you in the past, which will stifle your present. And so I'm a living example. I'm presenting them with lived experiences to help them navigate through this ordeal.

Yeah. And how can people find you on that online? You could either find me through the anti-recidivism coalition portal and just, you know, type in Jerome Dixon. It would also link you to my website, which is 21V, which will give you a, a clear picture of what I'm doing and how I'm doing it. 21B stands for the 21 and a half years that I spent while incarcerated. If you're in the United States and want to be part of the change that Jerome is talking about on a national level, contact your representative or senator and tell them to support the protecting Miranda Rights for Kids Act,

which would require police to notify and contact parents or guardians if their child is arrested or detained, get involved with the work. Anti-recidivism.org. And if you want to help Jerome in his effort to achieve a full exoneration, you can write to my friend, Governor Gavin Newsome, email pardons at gov.ca.gov.com. And be sure to put Jerome Dixon's name in the subject line. What tell us about the full exoneration that you're seeking. You know, I want to be made whole.

and being made whole means to absolve the injustice that I was served. It took moments to find me guilty to convict me, and it's taking me years to get that conviction overturned, resolved. And it shouldn't be that way. And so I'm on an additional plight to get my name cleared and to be made whole again. Right on. your story is devastating and moving and inspiring and people need to hear it and like you said there's thousands of young men just like you suffering in the same way right now as we speak

and uh you know i i can't thank you enough for for sharing your story and for the work that you're doing and it's been truly moving and I'm so happy that more people are going to hear what you're about and also get to to grow and heal from the wisdom that you gained. Thank you, Rain. I appreciate you having me and I now have a friend for life. The Soul Boom podcast. Subscribe now on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts and wherever else you get your stupid podcasts.