Speaking of Psychology - “Sharenting”: What happens when children's lives are shared online? With Keneisha Sinclair-McBride, PhD

Episode Date: June 24, 2026

From ultrasound photos to graduation pictures, many parents share their children's lives online. For some families, these posts help maintain connections with friends and relatives or build supportive parenting communities. But what does it mean for children to grow up with a digital footprint that begins, in some cases, before they are even born? Keneisha Sinclair-McBride, PhD, discusses the psychology of "sharenting," the privacy and safety risks of sharing in the age of AI, and how families can balance connection and community with children's need for autonomy and control over their own stories. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Parents today are documenting their children's lives in ways no previous generation could. From ultrasound images to funny toddler videos to graduation photos, kids' milestones and everyday moments often end up online. In fact, parents posting about their children is so common, there's even a word for it. Sharenting. For many parents, sharenting is a way to connect with far-flung friends and family, seek advice and support, or just document family life. But psychologists and other researchers are increasingly asking what it means for kids. What are the effects of growing up with a digital footprint that begins before birth? How do young children and teens feel about it?

How can families balance connection and community with kids need for privacy? And how is AI changing the risks of sharenting in 2026? Welcome to Speaking of Psychology, the flagship podcast of the American Psychological Association that examines the links between psychological science and everyday life. I'm Kim Mills. My guest today is Dr. Kenesha Sinclair McBride, a licensed clinical psychologist and the associate chief of integrated behavioral health at Boston Children's Hospital. She's also an assistant professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School. As a clinician, she provides evidence-based treatment for children and adolescents

with depression, anxiety, and other conditions. She also writes and speaks on adolescent mental health, social media and digital well-being. She recently spoke with APA's magazine Monitor on Psychology for an article on Sherenting and its implications for children and families. Dr. Sinclair McBride, thank you for joining me today. Thank you so much for having me. Let's start with a basic question. What is Sherenting?

How do you define it in your work and when you're talking to parents and kids? So sharing is sort of a modern word that we've come up to kind of describe what it means to share your parenting online. And when we think about that, it can take so many different forms. Most people think about sharing on social media. But before that, there were blogs, people posted on Twitter, things like that. So this is not like a new phenomenon, but it's definitely taking off in a different way in 2026. What motivates most parents to share their children's lives online?

And before we get into the risks, are there benefits? So most people are kind of going into this as a bid for connection and to maintain relationships and keep family up to date, friends up to date, people that they don't get to see on a regular basis. A lot of people talk about, you know, posting things on Facebook for the grandparents, that sort of thing. And for other people,

there are kind of parenting communities that can kind of spring up based off of various different parenting philosophies, parenting styles, different identities people can hold. So there can be kind of positive community building aspects of this, and most people are going into it with that intention. So one of the biggest concerns

that people raise about charanting is digital privacy. What kinds of privacy risks are parents creating when they post about their children online and with the rise of AI? Are those risks different now than they were even a few years ago? I would say that the risk definitely increased now because, you know, from the beginning, when you post something on the internet, it no longer really belongs to you. Anyone can download it. Anyone can access it and do whatever they would like with it. So there's that component. And now that we have AI, people can manipulate images that are even very harmless, very innocent into things that are more sinister. So there are new problems. Let's talk about consent. At what age can children meaningfully weigh in on whether they want their photos or stories

shared? And is there an age at which they should have full veto power? This is such an interesting component of the issue because technically kids can't really consent in terms of legally having the right to control over the decisions their parents are making. But I often think about it as a kind of we need to get their assent, similar to when we consent families for research studies. We need kids need to understand what it means to be posted online, what are the parameters and should be able to have the right to say no. Developmentally, a very young child doesn't understand what that means. But as kids get older and have more of a sense of identity and a sense of awareness, they really do. And I do think that at that point, and that could be different for every family, it's very important to listen to your child.

If they're saying they don't want to be posted or they don't want that to be online, we need to listen to them. How do you start conversations about this with your kids? What questions should you be asking them? And what's a good age for starting the dialogue? You could start this really early when we're teaching about kind of body autonomy and consent, right? When we take a picture of someone, we should ask them if we're going to take a picture of you. like, I'm going to take a picture. And, you know, even a toddler can tell you yes or no that they don't want to take a picture right then, right? They'll let you know. And then from there, you know, I'm asking permission to take a picture. You could also explain what you're doing as they get older, right? So, you know, I'm taking this picture because grandma wants to see your graduation. Or, you know, I'm taking this picture to show our friends that you can swim really well now. Things like that explaining what the purpose of it is for. And as kids get older, they start knowing. about social media, right? And they're not really allowed to have their own accounts,

hopefully, for a certain age. But that doesn't mean that that's the beginning of that child's digital footprint. A lot of people are already, as you said, from ultrasound on, are already posted on the internet. So talking to kids about that and listening when they're like, I don't want you to post that or I don't want to be on your page anymore. I think that's important. But it can start really early. When do they really seem to understand what the question is about? I mean, if it's about putting a picture on social media, do they get what that means and where the picture will go, not just to grandma? So I think around like late elementary school age, when we start thinking about metacognition and being able to perspective take and think about other people's thinking, they start understanding that this is going somewhere, right? But the permanency of that, I would say even sometimes adolescents don't get that, right?

Like if I post something, it's forever and anyone can do whatever they want with it, I feel like there are adults that don't really understand. that. So we get into this very delicate situation of, right, like, what does it actually mean? And to be honest, a lot of us don't really know because we don't know in terms of like what, who has access to our data, what it means to post on some of these platforms. It's a nuanced question. What are some more of the downsides of sharenting? Have you encountered situations where negative things have happened as a result of parents sharing information and photos about their children? Clinically, I haven't necessarily seen that. I've more seeing the conversations about, you know, I don't want my parents to post this. I do want them to post that. And I can say that as adolescents are trying to develop their own sense of autonomy,

right, having some control over your image is super important. And you could see how there would be negative downsides to not feeling like you had control. Often what ends up happening clinically is kids wanting to post too much or tell too much about themselves and parents being concerned, right? There are all these different layers to it. And a lot of it depends on what kind of social media platforms, families are using. You know, there's a lot of, like, parents posting on things like Facebook for older relatives, but the kids aren't using that stuff. So some of them don't even really care what's happening over there, but they might have

a real Instagram account and a fake Instagram account, or they might only use Snapchat and, like, parents don't even know what they're posting. So there's kind of a disconnect generationally between who's doing what and who's sharing what, because there's the sharing the sharenting component, and then there's the kids sharing their version of their lives. And I think there needs to be a little bit more of a conversation around what we're all doing and what the implications of that is. So what are the questions that parents should ask themselves, if not their kids, before they post about their offspring? Why am I posting this? Like, what is the

purpose? Right. A lot of times people get so into the habit of using their phones for everything that you might not even really have a reason. You might just be posting it because that's what you do, right? And it might be good enough just to take that picture and keep it in your photo album or text it to your family, whatever you want to do. Like, it doesn't necessarily have to go on social media. So that's the first thing. The second thing, and honestly, this is kind of the overarching kind of point I was making about the kids as well, your privacy settings. What does your account look like? There are people who do the sharing thing as their business, their social media business, the influencers, for example, they don't have private accounts. And that's a whole other legal issue and a whole other kind of

parenting and ethical issue. But for the average family who's not trying to, you know, make an income off social media, do you need to have a public account? And the answer is probably no. And then, you know, doing some regular assessment of who you have following you. And like, do you need all these people to be able to see all these pictures of your family? Just a little bit more of that self-interrogation about the why and the who. Talk about, you know, is there income from this? I mean, there are some parents who are, I mean, actually exploiting their children to make money. I mean, what do you see in that arena? I mean, what are parents doing that they shouldn't be doing?

It's not just putting up a picture because Bobby can swim now. You know, I feel like we're getting to a phase that there's going to be a reckoning about this in terms of there are kids who grew up with their parents using this as their source of income, right? And there are lots of interesting accounts from young people about what that experience is like. And there are also families that have stopped posting once their kids got to a certain age when they realize that their kids are basically not assenting to this anymore. But there are people who make huge salaries from posting every moment of their children's lives. And then that is really interesting too because that's what we as consumers are viewing as content.

And that's the version of parenting that people are seeing or trying to emulate, right? Or they might be on their own page trying to emulate this sort of influencer, sort of lifestyle that they're seeing from the people that they're following. And so we've created this whole sort of performance-based culture where there are people making money for performing and then there are people copying that in their own lives. And is anyone actually just living and enjoying their kids? Well, I mean, that was another question I had for you, which is whether documenting family life changes the experience itself. So instead of being fully present in your children's lives, you're thinking of moments as content. Right. I think that it's hard for humans to not start viewing things like that when they're recording everything, right?

And it's really interesting the experience of going to your child's event or interacting with your kid without your phone versus with having the phone, right? Because you have to be fully present. It's like we talk about mindfulness so much in clinical practice. And you are much more mindful when you don't have a phone. I'm sure lots of folks have had the experience of being at an event for their kids and they look around and there are people watching it through their phone as a point. as opposed to actually like looking at the thing that's happening, right? Right, right. That's a different experience.

And then there's this element of like, is it performance or is the kid just getting to live their lives? If you're asking them to stop what they're doing so you can take a picture of that or repeat what they're saying so you can record it. That's not, you know, letting them live in the moment. We're going to take a short break. When we return, I'll talk with Dr. Sinclair McBride about how AI is changing the risk calculus around sharenting and about how to now. navigate conversations with family and friends about how much to share online. How is AI changing sharing sharenting? There's so many different ways to think about this.

There's a much more sinister component that I mentioned, that people can make all kinds of images based off of what they find. And people who don't have your family's best interests at heart or children's best interests at heart can take pictures that are innocent and turn them into something that's much more sinister. But there's also the fact that people can like just create all these different things out of the images of their kids. And so what does that mean for a child? Like, it might be fun if your parent can turn you into a dinosaur. But like, if they can like change what

your appearance or change your outfit or change the location, what's real and what's fake, you know, that becomes kind of a confusing thing. Because again, so much of this is on the edge of reality. I have noticed that a lot of young people are better consumers about AI than their parents are. Like, they can tell when something is AI or they choose not to use it in a way. that some adults are not having those experiences. And I just using, you know, I turned all my family into cartoons versus like, did you really need to use AI for that? So there are these like kind of safety concerns.

And then it's also this sort of like self-concepts concern of like, do I need to be perfected by AI for my picture to be posted on social media? I think you're right about people not getting it. I mean, I had some friends over for dinner last night. And one of them was talking about all these videos you see of. tiny kids in animal shelters where they're opening the door and letting little kids play with animals. And I'm saying, no, no, I used to volunteer in a shelter. We would never do that. But adults don't know the difference. Right. It looks really real to them. Yeah. And maybe that's harmless, but maybe it's not.

I mean, you know, this example feels benign, but it gives such an important context to how real this stuff looks. Like you have that information, right? Like you have the experience of volunteering at the shelter. a lot of my patients know you have to be 13 or whatever the age is to be able to. But like if you don't know that information, you might think that's something that can be done. That can get much more dangerous when we're thinking about things that are unsafe or not recommended. So does this come up in your practice? I mean, how do you talk to parents? Do you see both parents and children?

And do you discuss this? So, yes, I often work with families. I primarily see kids and adolescents. but that family work is always a part of it. It's interesting. A lot of young people are thinking about this in a different way than their families in terms of like what does it mean for AI to be a part of our lives, what are the climate implications of it.

Do I want all this information about myself on the internet? A lot of them are focused on the things that disappear. And so helping them understand that that doesn't mean that no one can have access to it, right? And then a lot of just discussion around digital literacy and misinformation. I often also talk to young people about the fact that this is all an economy. No one has designed social media just for us to have fun. Like it's a business, right? So what does it mean the more information you put online, you're helping support someone

else's business. And what does that mean? So these are conversations that I often have with patients, with families. And it's interesting that you almost, have to bring kids to this awareness of like, you don't, you're not thinking about it right now, but the digital footprint you have, that's kind of going to follow you into the future. That can follow you into college applications, job applications, those sorts of things. And so you have some control over what you want that to look like.

But how can you talk to your parents about what you want that to look like too? Some families run into disagreements between parents and grandparents or other relatives who want to post photos online. How should families navigate these conversations and set boundaries? I think when you kind of come into a conflict like that, it's helpful to provide some of this information in terms of, you know, your concern about safety, about privacy and about the child's ability to consent and, you know, possibly explain to the extended family member, you know, we're deciding that we're not posting these things or we only post on private and explaining why you're making those decisions. The safety piece of this can really be a really good motivator for folks who are not aware and you can kind of set that boundary from a safety perspective. A lot of this is digital literacy. So many people who are parenting right now are kind of digital natives, but that doesn't mean that their parents are or their grandparents are.

So helping to explain kind of where the context is like a really important piece of this. Do you think the norms around sharenting are changing? I mean, are parents becoming more cautious? Are they actually becoming more literate than they were, you know, 10 or 15 years ago when social media was new? I think so. I think that there's a lot of growing awareness. and concern about what all this means, especially in the context of child exploitation.

You even see that with like when we talked about the parenting influencers, certain states are developing laws that kind of govern how you can use your kids and your content, for example. And so I think that is trickling down to the everyday person as well, and people being a little bit more cautious and a little bit more considerate about what they're doing, especially when you think about just like nationally the things that we're talking about when it comes to child exploitation and these sorts of things as well. It's like a modern day version of the stage door parent, right? Yeah, 100%.

You wanted your kid to be a star on Broadway, and now you're exploiting the child and taking money that the kid maybe isn't seeing. I mean, shouldn't some of that money be set aside for the child? Think about how that works when it comes to child actors, right? Like, they should, if they're working, they should be compensated. You know, if we went and let a kid work at a coffee shop and not get compensated, like, why are we letting them be social media influencers and their parents have complete control over that money, you know? Well, for parents who don't want to disappear entirely from

social media, are there safer ways for them to share online where they're still respecting their kids' privacy? If your kids are old enough, having that conversation about what they're comfortable sharing versus not sharing is important. So then you can all kind of have that as your framework of like, they're fine if I take a picture of their basketball game, but they don't want me to do this. So you have that as a framework. I think having private accounts regularly checking who is following. following you and kind of, you know, pruning that the way you do, like the hedges or something, right? Like, do I need to have all these people still on my, on my follower count? And then just kind of continuing to be mindful about the why, right? Like, it doesn't, some things are fun. Like,

you know, it's nice to share the joys of parenting and thinking about what is the reasoning behind why you're sharing things. And also making sure that you're sharing things that put your kid in a positive light. I think sometimes people, you know, want some support around the ups and downs of parenting or their struggles, but would I consent to everyone knowing about my hardest moment? No. So why should that toddler's tantrum be posted, you know? Yeah. And some of that stopping, I mean, a few years ago, there was a big move of people pranking their children and then posting these horrible videos of their children crying and getting scared or whatever they do to them. Yeah, and so many of them are so sad. And I think the thing that was super interesting is like when

that first started, you didn't get that much of a backlash. And then eventually people were like, this is ridiculous. Why are we doing this? Like, it's interesting that the tide is turning in terms of how we think about stuff like that. But yeah, if you wouldn't do it to an adult, if you don't want to be pranced, if you don't want to be crying on the internet, your child doesn't either. Well, any last words, final advice? I mean, what's the best thing that people can keep in mind if they're thinking about posting a picture of their kid on the internet? Thinking about who will have access to it, thinking about why you're posting it, asking your kids permission when you can, and putting your phone down, sometimes it's just being in the moment, or thinking about the fact that I can take this picture,

but doesn't mean I have to post it right now. Maybe post it later if you decide to, but everything doesn't have to be this of the moment. Like I'm filming for content, right? Like sometimes we take a picture because we want to save a other memory, and you can do that without social media. And showing it to the kids saying, I'm going to post this. Are you okay with this, Marianne? I think that's a really important way to kind of support assent in autonomy and help kids understand that they can have their own boundaries, right? And then it also opens up all these important conversations around digital literacy, around your digital footprint. If you're constantly having that conversation with your kids, this is not going to be new to them when they, you know, get a smartphone of their own, right?

They know that this is something I've been talking about with my family. Well, Dr. Sinclair McBride, I want to thank you for joining me. I think this was helpful information for the parents who are listening to us. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. You can find previous episodes of Speaking of Psychology on our website at speakingof psychology.org or on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. And if you like what you've heard, please follow us and leave a review.

If you have comments or ideas for future podcasts, you can email us at speaking of psychology at APA.org. Speaking of Psychology is produced by Lee Wynerman. Thank you for listening. For the American Psychological Association, I'm Kim Mills.