Spinning Plates with Sophie Ellis-Bextor - Episode 46: Dannii Minogue

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

Dannii Minogue is a woman of many talents. From acting to singing to presenting to fashion designing, Dannii has been honing her craft in the world of show business since she was in single figures. Mother to 11 year old Ethan, she spoke to me from Melbourne (still on lockdown) about her range of clothes for petite women, how much she loves her job and the ‘effortless’ way her son joined her life. Oh - and the fact she’s just had a big birthday. Happy 50th, Dannii! 🥳 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, I'm Sophia Lispector and welcome to Spinning Plates, the podcast where I speak to busy working women who also happen to be mothers about how they make it work. I'm a singer and I've released seven albums in between having my five sons aged 16 months to 16 years, so I spin a few plates myself. Being a mother can be the most amazing thing, but can also be hard to find time for yourself and your own ambitions. I want to be a bit nosy and see how other people balance everything. Welcome to Spinning Plates. Hello you. Am I in a very echoey room? Yes, very echoey. Very echoey. I'm on my way to get the kids from school,

and I've run out of time to record this in more leisurely fashion. So basically, I'm now at the tube station near my house, and I've gone into... Sometimes at the tube stations, they have those funny little waiting rooms that no one ever uses unless it's freezing. So I'm in here on my own. I'm a bit out of breath because I just ran up the stairs to get to the platform. But enough about me.

How are you? How's your week been? Everything all right? What have I been doing? What have I been doing? I went to Dublin. I went to Dublin to do something with a department store called Brown Thomas, which is somewhere I always loved visiting when I was little.

When I say little, like teenager. When I used to go and visit my friend who was at college, uni, in Dublin, I'd go and visit. So I've done something for them for their Christmas campaign, which was pretty fun. And it was nice to go and see Dublin. And it was a beautiful day when I got there. And then what else have I've been doing I did some filming yesterday actually because I've done a track with a German guy called Alex Christensen he does a lot of things with orchestras where he does reworking of old songs I've done a cover of a 80s song

by Laura Branigan called Self Control and we filmed a little video for that yesterday my friend Lisa did my hair and makeup and I slept in the eyelashes because they looked good and I'm happy to report they're still on today. So I look a little bit crazy for school run but not much more crazy than normal. And this week's guest is someone I only spoke to last week and actually, what date is it? I think it was her birthday yesterday. So happy 50th birthday Danny Minogue. Danny Minogue is my guest this week. Completely, completely what date is it i think it was her birthday yesterday so happy 50th birthday danny minogue danny minogue is my guest this week completely completely lovely twinkly positive upbeat must be something in those minogue genes that they have such a positive outlook on everything because i

know that having done a couple of gigs with kylie and spoken to her she's got very similar outlook but kylie's completely lovely. My tube's arrived. I'm gonna leave you with the two of us. Yeah, it was really lovely to talk to her and I think you'll enjoy it. See you on the other side. I'm 42 now. And when I was approaching my 40s,

I remember saying to my mum, I don't really have an idea of what 40s means. I had quite a clear idea of my 30s, and weirdly I was always really looking forward to it. But for me, 40s seems to have been a bit of sort of finding myself, you know, still raising a young family, still very, very busy with work,

and sort of slightly taking stock of how I found myself where I'm at is that something that resonates with you for what this last decade has been for you as well is that normal yeah I mean I I was right like just finishing off writing my book when um when my borders broke and then really baby there. Yeah. Wow. And I was like, no, I've just got to finish this.

It was like literally the last thing and I'm such a control freak and like into details and stuff. And I'm like, no, this can't happen now. So it was really funny. And, I mean, I've been excited to go into each decade. 30s was my most excitement. And I find that's when women mostly freak out because it's like at 30, you're meant to somehow have a few things together. So are you with somebody that you want to be with?

Have you had the baby that you want? Are you in the job that you've always dreamed of? And sometimes none of those things have happened yet. And so a lot of people freak out. I was running around, doing shows, having a great time, and I just like flew into my 30s. Going into my 40s, I had like a small baby and it was definitely an adjustment for me. I just got my first birthday card arrive yesterday and it had this big gold five oh on it and I looked at it and I'm like oh my god I'm that person I'm that 50 year old person like I've been used to going to other people's houses and it's birthday and

you see the cards there with those big numbers on it. That's a big number. And, yeah, it wasn't until really I just saw those numbers there, I was like, oh, this is really happening. I think the best bit has been with the age, you know, of a big birthday approaching is to just look back, just take time and look back over what's happened up until now and enjoy it and enjoy it with family and friends. And I'm sure you've done so much of that with your book. It's like when you open up to something and then you let other people in to that with you, there's this, there are really great conversations that start happening.

Definitely. So, yeah, here we are. Oh, here's to it, I say. I mean, I think I actually really like getting older. I like it a lot more than I thought I would. I really enjoy it. I think there's lots and lots of benefits to it. Although, actually, funnily enough, whenever I do have a big birthday, I'm never sure if I like the cards that have the big numbers on the front.

Not because I don't mind at all what age I am I suppose I just feel like people doing that and they kind of deal with it like here's the numbers deal with it but um I guess you your your lockdown has given you plenty of opportunity for that birthday reflection so your so your birthday you're are you there is it the 20th? 20th of October. We'll still be in lockdown for the next week. You know, my mum is, you know, been stressful. We couldn't have my brother's 50th with him. This is my second birthday in lockdown.

We're just still here. But I was like, that's fine. We'll just do a family dinner. When we come out, you know, it's just delayed. Yeah, I had two lockdown birthdays. And actually, you just sort of get on with it. I'm a big believer in saving up the celebrations. I mean, we won't dwell on lockdown too long because I think, you know,

it's been so many chats. But I do wonder, what does Australia think of the UK? Do you guys think we're absolutely mad and how we're carrying on and just life is kind of, because the pandemic visibility here is pretty minimal, I'd say. I think we're so in a big fix here at the moment, checking, you know, what are the numbers here? What are the numbers in Sydney? You know, are the borders still shut? Can you get across the border? I mean, there's been so much stress that I just don't have time in the day to keep checking on other countries and stuff. I'm vaguely across it. Like, obviously, my work with QVC, I am having, you know, Zoom meetings all the time and, you know, we check in on each other and, you know,

we're still seeing each other with our bedroom backgrounds and some people are just travelling back into the office but it's like on a rotation kind of thing, not like everybody at once. So from what I'm seeing through them, that's all I'm seeing. And it feels like they're doing it like really slowly and calmly and really keeping everything to a minimum, regardless of what's happening outside. So I don't know, that's...

Yeah, I just sometimes wonder what other countries think. But in sort of happier things, you mentioned QVC. So that's something that's happening at the moment. You're a new range of your petite range. And I was watching a video of you talking about, actually a really valid point, that petite doesn't mean tiny all over. It's people, is it five foot two and under that qualifies for the petite? Yeah, it's basically a fashion word that means short.

And they kind of, most labels will say from five foot four and under is petite and five foot and above is regular size. And then you'll have, I don't know what size it goes for tall tall people but there's sort of those three categories with the height and um it's been really hard to find clothes my whole life and it really gave me a complex where I thought something's wrong with me because everyone else I know goes out shopping and they buy something they put it on and looks great I never could buy anything and it would fit me every single piece in my wardrobe was altered to fit and my grandma taught me how to sew I know

about patterns I work with couture designers so I I could go into um you know a seamstress and say I need you to do this this and this but you can never still get it perfect because when you can't adjust the armhole if it's a knit you can't cut it if there's a zip detail you can't cut through that there's all of these things and actually when all the proportions aren't right it makes you look shorter and wider but you know like you go to a couture fitting and you get something that fits you and you're like oh my god I never look so good of course it's like made to absolutely fit every millimeter of your body um but it was just so depressing because there was never anything out there that I could buy. So I kept thinking every time I took something off the rack, there's something wrong with me. There's something wrong with me.

It's that internal dialogue because why doesn't this work? Yeah. It doesn't work. Actually, I think, yeah, so many people, that's so many women. That's, you know, my sister actually, she's five foot and I'm sure that would resonate with her hugely. Just that feeling of going into a shop and thinking, oh, there's another place where I don't see myself reflected in these clothes at all and I put them on and they just the arms are too long the shoulders are too wide the hems the wrong length the waist is in the wrong place yeah you're constantly made to feel

like you're not going to fit in or you've got to shop in the kids' department. For women who are bigger than that, you know, say zero, which people think is petite, if you're a larger size, there's nothing there for you. So QVC have invested in this, and they're listening to all of my concerns. There's at least one petite person in every department that I'm working with, and at the meetings, you just see the petite person go, I know, I I feel your pain I know exactly what you're talking about and you have that zing

that connection and so they've allowed me to do from size six which I am up to a size 22 and I don't know anywhere in the world that there is a petite designer designing petite clothes that are that diverse in a range of sizes. So every day I get up, I'm like, I just can't believe how great this is that they are backing it all the way. And then the messages that you get on the website from different women, you know, like, it's heartbreaking to me I didn't realize I was petite until my early 20s there's not a lot of stuff out there if it is out there

it's not inclusive in sizes and a lot of it is a very young skew um yeah and I like funky fashion stuff but um you know I've had a baby so I have to wear a bra with everything you know, I've had a baby, so I have to wear a bra with everything. You know, once you're breastfed, those guys are the same again. So it's like, you know, I'm not wearing these skimpy da-da-da-da-da outfits. And, you know, to get messages from women 50 and above up until I remember one just stopped me in my track, a woman who's 70 who ordered one of my jackets and said it's the first time in my life I've ever had anything that I ordered that fits me because it's a true petite a lot of petite ranges just chop off two inches off the bottom and your sister at five foot would still be hemming them so I I go three inches up and everything, the armholes, the necklines,

the pattern, everything is graded down to fit on the body. So it's like it's an emotional experience when people try it on and they, okay, there's nothing wrong with me, you know, and they can get excited about shopping and excited about fashion. I mean, I see what you wear and like outfits and costumes and stuff. And when you're petite, you want to be able to enjoy all of that stuff as well. Absolutely. And how you feel about the clothes that you wear. I say so much about your identity a lot of the time. And actually, you mentioned there about when you have a baby

and sometimes it takes you a little minute after you've become a mum to sort of find yourself again as well and I was thinking you and I've both gone through it where we've had a baby when we have a day job that is very closely associated to our aesthetic and I know when I had my first baby maternity clothes and getting dressed for anything, sort of in the public eye again afterwards, it took me quite a long time to sort of find my way back to myself. Can you remember if that was something that you felt like as well? I remember driving past, like, schools, and I'd see all the parents huddled around.

I'd go, I've just been thinking, why do they all dress the same? It's like what do you have to dress like that when you have kids now I'm one of those parents at the school gate and I'm like before I had Ethan the only pair of flat shoes I had were were for going to the gym the one pair and now I need flat shoes like for running around running around, running after him. He's an 11-year-old boy and, you know, like, the waistlines have come up on everything because every time you're bending over to pick up that dummy and now pick up toys and do stuff, like, you can't wear low-rise jeans.

That's not a parent-approved, you know, outfit. You don't want to be in school. They don't call them mum jeans for nothing. Right. So, yeah, it was a whole it was a whole transformation and it's just like uh there's the you that's working and and you know got this amazing wardrobe of all these heels and then there's the mom this is what I need to wear to get through the day and then it's trying to close the gap on those things and I feel like the older Ethan's getting the more I can close that gap again and I'm finding myself where it's like okay

if he runs off you know he knows he's got to come back it's it's it's fine it's not like having a little toddler yeah no no definitely but it's interesting that you feel like still closing the gap because I think it does take I think it's actually quite an ongoing process. And probably as well as, you know, you're sort of readjusting to priorities and how you feel about yourself. I mean, quite alarmingly for my kids, I feel like I'm more uninhibited now with what I put on than I've ever been, which I think they'd probably prefer if I was a little bit more inhibited, really. But I've just really been enjoying not caring as much. And I don't know. I mean, it's funny.

When I put on my stuff for work, if I put on something sparkly, they kind of are looking at me like, I don't know, it makes me feel like a superhero in a way. It's like having a secret life. I quite like it. And I like going to work and having that space for myself and getting dressed up and the juxtaposition of how I might have started my day you know by the school gates

and then finishing up wearing something really twinkly um did you did you enjoy being pregnant was that a nice feeling for you I loved it I loved like at around five six months when belly's big and you're like rubbing the sides of it I loved it I'd you're like I hear a lot of friends say if I could go back to any age you know I'd be 20 with my washboard stomach and you know in a bikini honestly if I could choose anything I'd just be five months pregnant it's just I didn't have to suck anything in. It's just like, it's out there. Like, I just, and I guess there were just so many hormones going on in my body that I was just like, oh, I'm just loving myself, loving all the changes.

And, yeah, I was really lucky I had an easy pregnancy and, you know, no sickness or anything. So it was enjoyable. Yeah. That's so lovely as well I know exactly that feeling I liked it the more pregnant I got the more sort of I really embraced this it's almost quite an absurd shape you get to by the end I think but it feels sort of wonderful like really like ripe and I really enjoyed that as well actually yeah and it's so temporary you know

but it's like just and also you know the fact your body can do all that. It's quite a marvel, isn't it? Yeah. And I was thinking, so now Ethan is 11, is that right? Yeah. Yeah, so he's pretty much the same age as my second one down, Kit. But am I right in thinking that's the age you actually started being on TV when you were 11? No, I started at seven. Seven? And I was working full time from the age of 10 and you know you're working full-time

banking paid weekly paychecks into my bank account from 10 yeah so how does it feel now having a child that's that age that you were working full-time you like Ethan what's going on mate where's my percentage it's really weird because he has a few like passions like little hobbies but nothing that he's just that focused on like I see other little kids and there's some kids that do Oz kick footy and they are there and you know they're going to end up doing that somewhere because they're obsessed every second of the day they're playing footy or whatever it is I just felt like when I was doing it professionally I just got to do the thing that I loved um I wasn't really aware it was a job because it was just joyful and fun so it didn't feel like a job although I had you know a schedule to keep too and he's just not that guy he's just he's not someone that is driven yet

for anything in particular so I just love seeing him float about and enjoy the things that that he likes doing he loves reading he loves rap music so I guess they're two of the biggest things yeah and it's actually quite a marvel isn't it when you have a small person and they're kind of so separate to you and I think you know you before you have a baby sometimes you picture that you're going to have someone that's almost you know something familiar so maybe like a smaller version of you but when they actually have their own hopes and desires and passions that are so different yeah it's kind of constantly pretty fascinating isn't it yeah and it sort of impresses you like wow you're really your own person yeah yeah but it's hard to imagine being being seven and actually

having that goal and I mean I was you know I I knew already but I was looking you know this morning all the things you've done and there's so much there. It's an incredible career that you've had. And it's almost sort of slightly, I mean, I know you do get on with all of the acting and presenting and music and lots of different crossover sections, but it does feel a little bit like there's almost like chapter headings to each bit. So TV was really dominant and then music more dominant and now sort of presenting and hosting and your designing is more prominent.

Is that the way that it feels from where you're standing as well? Yeah, there are things that have really jumped up front for me, but I really feel like I've done all of them since I started working at 10. So we were singing and dancing in the TV show that I was on. They would give us little hosting links to do. And I asked if I could design my own costumes for some of the numbers. So I was in the wardrobe department with the wardrobe girls, like creating my costumes and then going on and singing my songs.

But I'd get like into the production meetings and say, I want to do this song and I want to do it this way and I've got these thoughts. So that whole kind of all of those skills that I end up using as an adult are what I was just naturally doing back then and I had all these different departments of people that were willing to spend time and teach me about stuff um so it was just expanding on those and or just at times focusing on one of them but um it's really hard when you get that kind of slasher thing where

people like oh she does this this this this this this for me it's all one thing how you present yourself music's in me I love communicating with people so tv is a natural for me um the acting has been incredible all of the learning the lines and that teamwork. I was in the young talent team, you know, as a kid. It was all teamwork and here's your bit, then you've got to let the other person come forward. And for me, I'm just doing what I've always done. But now those things have labels to them.

And so I normally get that whole slasher intro whenever I'm on any kind of show. It's like the this, the that, the that, you know. But I don't see it that way from me. No, I guess, and I suppose as well what it is is when you're, it's about what's visible to people. You know, most people are quite simple creatures, aren't they? Because they'll see one thing and be like,

okay, that's what's happening now. And they wouldn't have any idea when you're doing that talent show that you're also in the wardrobe department saying, actually, I want to get involved with making my fashion, which obviously now tallies completely with all the threads of what you do now. And I suppose it's a matter of... I mean, I'm so amazed at how self-motivated you were from such a young age. You know, listening to how you speak about how you're a mother to Ethan

and letting him just flourish and see where his passions take him, it actually sounds like maybe your mum was doing the same thing and reacting to, she wasn't there kind of going, why didn't you go over there and ask if you can do presenting? You sounded like you were kind of going, right, now I want to do this and now I want to do that. And was she quite a reactive mother to what you wanted to do? I think it was a combination.

So my mum had three kids under the age of three. I don't know how you do that. Wow. There weren't even disposable nappies back then. We had like the cloth nappies with the big pins in the side. I'm like, mum, how did you do it? So when we were old enough to have like some activity to do after school, it was easier for mum to take us all to the same place. And my sister really loved to be musical. So she learned

the flute, the piano, and a whole bunch of things. So mum said, oh, do you want to come and learn something too? I tried learning it and I was just like, this is just not my passion and it's kind of just a waste of money and, like, I just didn't get it. So I asked her, please, please, please, can I go to a school to learn how to sing and dance? That's all I want to do. And they looked up a place in the Yellow Pages for me, you know, and kids listening to this, the Yellow Pages was Google back then. That's where, how you found phone numbers for places.

And found this place to learn how to sing and dance and that was actually connected to the TV show Young Talent Time so I had no idea I had no ambitions to go audition for anything I just wanted to learn how to do it because it was a hobby that I loved um and the teachers saw me there and said to the producers you've got to bring her in for an audition because, like, she's just standing out in the class and you should see her. And when they asked me for the audition, I just thought, you've got the wrong person because there were all these girls there

that would also do a Stedford's and they'd come dressed up, fully made up, fully costumed and their mums were out the back sewing sequins, you know, furiously on all of these lycra leotards and I just rocked up like in my school uniform and I was just like low-key not involved and so I really thought that they'd messed up and like put the wrong student name on the audition but I was like hey I'll go it'll be great experience and um I went and the rest is history. But the thing that got me into it was I saw a Livy Newton John in Greece.

And I was like, yeah, that's what I want to do. I did not know it was a job. I just, that, singing, dancing. And when she has that clothing transformation in it was everything to me. And when she has that clothing transformation in it was everything to me. And I just, I had that, just a feeling of being drawn to that. And then when I had my first moment on stage

in the TV show Young Talent Time, I stood on the stage and there's a full live audience and then bright lights coming towards me. So, you know, when you're looking at the audience and they're sort of in the dark, you can sort of see people but it's kind of dark, but you see that light coming towards you. Yeah. And so young, I just had this feeling that went all through my body

to my toes, like, this is joy, this is where I want to be. So whatever I have to do to be up here on stage under the lights, that's what I want to be so whatever I have to do to be up here on stage under the lights that's what I want to do and but not knowing and do I have the talents for that you know yeah could it be good enough to do it what does that entail I had no idea but I think maybe you have to have that feeling of like it's it's sort of this or nothing I think because I think you have to have that relationship with it you have to have that relationship with it. You have to sort of thrive on it.

Otherwise you just won't probably go the distance. I think it was Ed Sheeran that was saying that if you want to make it as a musician, you've sort of got to have no plan B. And I actually think I don't actually have any other qualifications. It's the things I ended up doing are like literally the only things I can do, I feel like. Yeah, me too.

I left school at 16. I don't have any qualifications, none. Yeah. It was a real joy for me quite a few years ago to get an honorary doctorate in the arts at Southampton Solent University in the UK and to be recognized for this whole lifetime of working and doing what I'm doing um and it's amazing I love that yeah when something like that happens you're like hmm yeah I guess uh I guess I do have have you know accumulated a lot of skills

but yeah no qualifications as such well I guess as well it it uh reinforces the validity of the arts actually because what both of us are talking about is obviously something that does take a lot of hard graft and you've worked really hard and earned your stripes improved your talent over and over but I think we actually in terms of you know the the path we set for for kids in education puts actually the value on that quite low so that's why you're sort of encouraged to think that that's actually you know if you'd been doing the same thing and it led up to you being a doctor you wouldn't be sat there going oh I actually haven't got any other quality i can only be a doctor guys you know it has to be enough actually you know it's sort of the way the perspective that we skew onto was actually a lot of talent and a lot of um diversity

and uh resourcefulness and resilience so it's quite um that's probably a whole other thing really but on that it was very interesting during um the pandemic and our country being you know thrown into the spin of covid my father saying to me oh you know they're the government are putting money into this field and that field and making sure we've got people trained for this and that. And, of course, it's like, you know, building and science and stuff like that. But they're just stripping everything away from the arts. And I nearly lost my breath. And I said to him, right, imagine the entire world going

through this pandemic with no music, no art, no Netflix, no TV, no fashion. Like I see on Instagram how much people embrace, went into their wardrobe, grabbed things. This makes me feel good of actually finding what, you know, sparks joy. And you're right. It's so, it's not highly regarded and there's just there's there's so little respect for it but if you just ask people to stop and imagine their

lives without any of that it it'd be real bleak yeah absolutely and also coming out the other side of everything it's going to be what helps articulate what we've been through and make the you know make sense of some of the emotions you do that through through the arts you know there'll be some really clever stuff that comes out of all the things we've been experiencing that reflects back at us you know gives us a way to a language to speak about it it's going to be really that'll be beneficial it'll be like a little bit of art therapy that comes out of it as well yeah um so i'm thinking about the ambition that you had and that feeling in the spotlight i was doing lots of of nodding to you with that because i also completely relate to the love of olivia newton john and greece that's

definitely up there as one of my inspirations as well but so when you're getting on with everything did you always think you'd be a mum? Was it always something in your peripheral vision or not really? I never did. Like I had friends that were like, right, by this age I'm having one kid or I'm having three kids and I'm going to live there and I'm going to do that. And I had no plan. Like complete, you know, just in the music industry,

I'm like, I don't know, like next week I've got a gig in Russia. I don't, you know, and then I'm going to Greece and then there's another one in Turkey. So no baby that week. And I'm off to Ibiza and no plan. But I had no maternal feelings at all until I started doing X Factor in the UK. And so mentoring there, working with the artists

and trying to give them any experience that I had to try and help them and then seeing them evolve was like, wow, I feel so like I'm doing something and I loved that experience of the mentoring and I think people could see watching the show. that experience of the mentoring and I think people could see watching the show it was a whole different experience for me on the judging panel than for other people who weren't weren't performers and um like when I I joined the panel none of the other panel were performers and then Cheryl Cole came so she knew that feeling but it was was just great to work with, you know, all of the people that came on the show. But I was real tough love, like real, really firm.

And I wouldn't take any nonsense from anyone. And, you know, it was all of that that you use in parenting. And that just, I don't know, it just opened my eyes to something like, maybe I could do this. So I don't know if it was a confidence thing before that, that I was just like, oh, no, that's not for me. And I guess... You mean like it was almost like a maternal dynamic you felt

with getting people, like mentoring? Yeah, yeah. It was just the first time I'd felt that it's different from working in a team and working in a group it's like imparting your knowledge and then seeing that help that person was really cool oh that's really lovely and I suppose that makes complete sense because it's yeah you're nurturing and reacting and uh and yeah imparting imparting what wisdom you have and seeing if you can help someone on their own way and their own journey through it all yeah um but i was thinking as well that you know you mentioned about when women are in their 30s and they're thinking about

you know oh have i had am i with the right person have i had the right baby is it was all going on people have got plans but i think as well in in the public eye I think there's a real lack of tact when it comes to the questions we ask women about about their fertility about their baby plans about all of that stuff I mean was that something that used to bother you or you were kind of I suppose if you're not feeling particularly like you've got a baby in the plans maybe you were just thinking I can answer that I don't know how did you feel I guess because I wasn't trying and I didn't have any difficulty it didn't register with me I didn't really bother but now reading so much after being able to have a child and then knowing people who can't and the hurt that that you know brings with it when people just constantly

asking and and then other women saying once they've had one child it's always when are you going to have another when you're going to have another when you can have it and it's like yeah do you really want me to turn around and say well maybe i can't you know like it's it is difficult um there's a magazine here that um i don't know how long ago it was, they just said, we don't ask women that. We do not. Like, if you come here and you do an interview with us,

that will never be on the list of questions, which I think is really cool. That is really cool. If people want to bring it up, they bring it up in the interview, but they're not asked about it. Yeah, because I think there's a big difference between someone saying it to you conversationally, because, look, you know, family stuff is a really natural icebreaker.

And I don't, you know, sometimes people are really well-meaning and they'll say something that might be, you know, touching on a really sensitive subject and they don't know. But I do think in the public eye, there's a sort of slightly different emphasis and it's not coming from a friendship thing. It's more in a's a sort of slightly different emphasis and it's not it's not coming from a friendship thing it's more in a kind of sort of gathering information and I've always thought um I just find it very peculiar really that it's such a such a front and center

part of conversations you know to say about if you're having kids and then once as you say if you've had one if you're having more or when you're planning that and all that, I just think it's really, really personal. Yeah. And I think, you know, you get this sort of layer of answering it in a way that, well, for me anyway, I've always answered anything like that in a way that doesn't ever betray that I think it's personal, if that makes sense, to kind of just make it move on. But really, I think what that magazine has done is brilliant.

I think that's, more of that, please. Yeah. It's not really very fair at all. And I was thinking as well that, so if you're one of three under three, that is a big crowd to be in from the get-go. And do you think there might have been a part of you that might have quite enjoyed a little bit more space,

like Ethan's experiencing? I think, because I grew up as an only child for quite a long time and I didn't know any different and I quite liked a lot of it, I think. I was pretty close with my brother growing up just because we were closer in age and my sister was like, I don't want to hang out with those two young ones. And I shared a bedroom with my sister and we had a big line that we taped down the middle of the room like you don't come on my side I'm not coming on your

side and it was just it's kind of like a difficult age gap at that age um and so sorry so three years three years and um but with my brother he would he was looking for someone to hang out with, so he would rope me into stuff, put me on a bike on the top of a hill and go, it's okay, you don't need brakes, and push me down. I'm like, you have a what? And we would, you know, I was a real tomboy. We would, our favourite thing was going and catching lizards and frogs and I would always come home covered in mud

and mum just let us go and play and be kids. And it was really great. It wasn't until I got older that I got really into much more girly stuff, but I guess it was when, you know, I was seeing movies like Grease with Olivia and that whole clothing thing and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, what? This is insane. And how long were you sharing a room then? Was that throughout your whole childhood?

No, we moved houses a lot when we were younger. So it was in a particular house that we lived in So it was in a particular house that we lived in probably till I was about 10. Okay, so you did get your own space by the time you were teenagers. Yeah, and I guess mum and dad knew we were over it. So we moved to a house where we had our own room and that was just unreal. Yeah, and are you the sort sorry, jumping around a bit, but are you the sort of mother that you thought you would be? I was thinking about when you were saying about the mentoring

sort of sparking something in you. Is that actually, does it actually seem quite similar to what your mothering is like or is it very different? Yeah, like tough love. I really see it. I'm very firm and there are rules. But then it's just, as you say, like wanting to see that person blossom and find themselves. Like, here's what I know, but they've got to put that together in their own way to use it and find out what works for them. and find out what works for them. When you say about rules, it's a tough one.

I think that's brilliant and I hope I've got enough boundaries in place. I think I'm probably more of a pushover than I would have liked. But what kind of thing do you mean? Do you mean in terms of, like, behaviour or in terms of how the day is structured? Like, not structuring of the day, but just like manners and that's outside the house and inside the house. So some kids are like, when they're in front of other adults, it's like, okay, I've been told, you know, to put on my best behavior. And it's like, with Ethan, I expect him to respect the fact that there are other people living in this house too. So he can do his thing, I can do my thing, but, you know, dude, we've all got to, like, live together and you've got responsibilities

and things that you've got to live up to. And I think that, you know, I never spoke to him like a little baby or a little boy. I spoke to him like an adult and I, you know, at one, he would sit in his high chair and say delicious rather than yum, yum. Like it's just, you know, it was just because he was hearing what I was saying. And so, yeah, he's pretty switched on, but he's a kid.

Yes. And actually you're possibly approaching the bit where he gets taller than you and then the telling off changes dynamic as well because it's different when you're telling off someone where you have to look up to them instead of look down. I think that may have been also wrapped up in me being strict because I knew that he was going to be he'd be very young age where he would be taller than me um so his dad's over six foot and yeah he's

turned 11 in July and he's he's almost my height now so you's a funny thing, isn't it, when you're looking him in the eye? I'm going to start looking up. Was there ever a part of you that thought you might not go back to the same day job? Was there ever a question mark with that? After having Ethan? Yeah. I was itching to work. I didn't, I love being a mum,

but I don't want to be a mum 100% at the time. I love it when he goes to school, he does his thing. Obviously, this is really hard now because with so many, so much homeschooling, we're getting on top of each other. But I really like going off and doing my thing and getting that fulfillment and like you said before getting dressed up in fabulous costumes and and he he sees me now like he knows when I'm getting ready for work as opposed to

just getting ready to do something else and uh he's cool with it, you know. He doesn't, when he was very, very small, he didn't want to leave me. But he's cool. He lets me go and do my thing and come back. Yeah, well, it's actually really impressive because sometimes I find it the other way, that it gets a bit harder when they get older. But I guess if you've always managed to place a lot of um respect associated with what you do for a living then I think that

rubs off on them and I actually realized in lockdown I hadn't done enough of that so I'd sort of downplayed my work a lot so now that I'm back to full pelt I've had quite a lot of conversations with them recently where they're saying oh I wish you could just do something else because you're always out now and you're always going off to work and I think one of them's like can't you just be an author and then you can just write a home while I'm at school and be there when I get in um so I think that's really smart of you to sort of build that in that that give it that space that that significance that actually this is part of who I am and what I need for me.

But can you remember when he was little? Was there a weird feeling when you first went back? Because I found it quite a big adjustment trying to sort of find myself again, I think, when I had Sonny, who's 17 now. But I felt like some of the edges had been knocked off me a little bit, I think, in terms of how do I normally do this? How do I normally

perform? How do I normally look? Did you have any of that or is it quite smooth? The thing that I had and I still have now is that internal clock that's got their schedule running as well. Like I cannot be, you a you know if I'm if I don't see a clock and I don't have my phone on me I know when it's pickup time it's like oh my god it's school pickup like it's just you have that internal body clock or I'll be at work and I'll if it's you know when it's bedtime and stuff I'll be working but I'll be kind of thinking oh when I get a break I just want to make a call and see, did he get off to sleep? Like, how is he?

So it's just that you're running another person's schedule as well constantly in the back of your mind. Yeah, no, I completely agree with that. It's like you have all these like threads in your head of what else is happening and, okay, they'll be doing this now. I mean, it sounds like throughout your life life you've picked up so many life skills what what do you think you hope that you can pass on to Ethan out of what you've learned through your life um well like you were saying before he's just so different to me um I I'd like him to be really open of other people who are different to him and accepting of other people that are different to him that's that's huge for me and so you know he's getting that now at this age and I think kids this age are so different than like my generation when

we were at school like anything different stood out but we didn't see stuff in media with people that were different like um now I see from commercials there's you know someone with prosthetic legs in a commercial there but it's not for prosthetic legs they're in a commercial for an ice cream or something like it there's like um just you people are visible now across media and it's so much more accepted like I don't hear the stuff coming out of his mouth or the kids at school that's the kind of teasing and stuff that used to go on when I was school because we're just they're just more open to yeah to people being different from them and that's okay yeah I think that's a really a brilliant thing actually because I remember um I did this um conversation I was chatting to a guest called Sylvia Mack and she

she really sadly when she was only really little and she was two she'd been scolded very badly burnt very badly on her back left her with terrible um terrible scars and it really affected her confidence and lots of things but I remember saying to her always did you see anyone out there that sort of you know you felt like reflected was there any sort of body out there that you thought oh yeah that they're like me and she said yeah the elephant man and I thought wow we're much better now aren't we at being inclusive and appreciating that you know so many people so many people in fact probably everybody in some way falls outside of the typical we've all got things that are more conventional side of us and the things that fall outside of it um and actually

you know when you started talking about the petite range and you know how going into shops and not seeing yourself there to some people that's you know i said well that's just fashion but actually how you choose to present yourself how you want to dress feeling that that is accessible for you that you're allowed to celebrate your form and go out in confidence that's actually a really big deal so those things of yeah being more inclusive and for kids to grow up thinking that, you know, they're not going to be. It's OK to be curious about things that are different to you, but you're definitely going to be supportive and appreciate not everybody's leading the same life as you. Yeah. Empathy is a good life skill for sure.

Yeah. I think with I try to think about the different aspects of what I'm doing with my design. And one thing that always sticks out to me is that we've all heard growing up, like, dress for the job you want and, like, make it sharp. And if you're going after that job, you dress the best that you can. Well, when there aren't clothes there that fit you to dress for that job, you're going to miss out on that job. So if I was in a job that required suiting, that doesn't exist. So it's all going to look so big on me. They visually see when I walk in the room, it looks like she's a kid wearing adult's clothes so we're not gonna listen to her ideas like she's

another adult on the same wavelength as us you get treated like a kid if you look like things don't fit you so if you have sort of three people come in for the job and you're the person that's just wearing the clothes that don't fit you and you're doing your best. They're like, let's go with the sharp one that was like, you know. But you could be saying exactly the same, but people don't hear you. They're not listening to you because they're visually taken in. It's that classy thing when you walk through the door. It's the first 10 seconds people look you top to toe and then back up to your face and that information's gone in.

So I'm like, I want people to have that opportunity who don't have the budget for, you know, getting something made specifically to fit them to be able to walk in and buy something that gives them, you know, that confidence. And with my petite clothing in Australia, I made them, you know, invest money into having mannequins made because I'd never walked into a store and seen myself. It's like I'm not the maternity mannequin, I'm not the regular size because even with the regular ones, they make them sort of over six foot tall and I'm not the kid's mannequin

but the one I relate most'm not the kid's mannequin but the one I relate most to is the kid's mannequin but that's that's how people tend to see you and treat you as well so it's like really cool the the confidence that it gives you inside is is hard to describe but when I speak to other petite people, we just click. Yeah, yeah. No, no, I think it's brilliant. I think it's really brilliant. I was thinking back to the motherhood.

When you've been talking about, you know, all the things you've got going on and clearly still working incredibly hard and in very diverse fields, it sounds like Ethan and, you know, motherhood sort of tessellated really quite surprisingly sort of smoothly into everything. Did that surprise you? I mean, I think that's really wonderful.

I don't think it always has to be, you know, this has been really tough, but I just, especially if you spent a lot of your 30s thinking, I'm not that sure. I mean, does it surprise you how, you know, Ethan's just come along for the ride now it's really been quite effortless the only thing that was difficult was when I got sick after having him and I didn't know for ages what was wrong with me so I just got to the point where I was getting weaker and weaker and losing more and more and more weight. And,

um, I remember looking into his cot and he's ready to get up. And I remember just looking down at him thinking, I don't know if I can physically lift you out of there. Um, obviously when you have a newborn, you're so everyone's sleep deprived. So you're like, I'm not feeling great, but that's understandable because like, I, you know, I haven't slept through the night. So it kind of crept up on me and it was that one moment where I'm like, I don't even know how I'm going to pick up my child and I have to pick him up to look after him. So I find out that my thyroid had gone, which happens to a lot of women.

It happened to me the you know what happens with childbirth like putting your body through a lot so my thyroid had gone so I found that and I was thinking okay well that makes sense that's it and started to regulate my body weight and um and know, feel pretty good again, but something was still not right. And then I got appendicitis and had to be rushed to the hospital and have my appendix out. After that, I was like, oh, now I feel like myself again.

But having to go through health problems with a small child and working and trying to look after him that was that was extremely difficult so I always just think now like as long as I've got my health like that's all I want is just just have my health then it's fine definitely yeah big time no that's that's and actually I think that well I don't know I think that thyroid thing is quite quite a common thing I know that happened to me I didn't have the appendicitis as well, though. That must have been awful. That's like a real emergency situation as well, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah, that's a big one. I was in London and I remember really clearly it was Friday night going into Saturday of Easter weekend and I'm on the floor. I've been vomiting for hours. I'm now bringing up bile and I'm like, I have to get myself to a hospital. And I call my GP, and I'm like, as if he's going to pick up. After one ring, he just picked up the phone,

and my doctor answers straight away and, like, gets me to a hospital. But it's like, yeah, you just... I was thinking, I don't know. Because they all, like, split and go on holidays, like all split and go on holidays at times if you're like that. I know, and you're thinking, you're not supposed to be taking time off. I need you now. Well, I'm actually really happy to hear it. I think effortless is a lovely word to be able to use about becoming a mother,

particularly when your work is so much part of who you are I mean we we all every mother has a different relationship with their work and for some people particularly you know if you're a creative person then the the seam between what you do for a living and who you are is there's not really one there it's just it's just about you know where how the balance is in terms of your life but you need need it to feel like you, I think. So I think it's really lovely to hear that it's effortless because I think sometimes you can worry that that's not going to be the case. But actually, you kind of always come back to yourself in the end,

somewhere along the line, definitely. Yeah. So before I let you go, I want to say, firstly, it's been such a joy to talk to you properly. I know we've met a couple of times, but I really, really enjoyed talking to you. I think you're so brilliant. So thank you very much for your time. Um, and secondly, I have, I realized when you were talking about the extent of the lockdown, that there's actually a loophole that you can totally flaunt should you want to be able to fly home, because I know it's the other side of the tracks,

but I last week filmed a cameo for Neighbours. Oh, my God, I saw you were working with my best mate. Lee was directing. Yes, yes. He's my best friend. Oh, my God, I saw the pictures. So basically what the girl... So I did a scene with Gemma Donovan. Yeah. And so she lives half in Melbourne and half in the girl, I did a scene with Gemma Donovan.

Yeah. And so she lives half in Melbourne and half in the UK and half in London. Yeah. She'd been in lockdown in Melbourne and couldn't leave. So got neighbours to film an episode in London just so that she could leave. So I thought, you know, you can exploit some of your contacts there. Maybe do a sort of guest appearance in Home and Away. I could revisit

and then get them to film it wherever you want to go, actually. Yeah. You could probably do it in time for a really, you know, they could do like a thing in maybe the Caribbean when it's your 50th or something.

I don't know. You could really work this system if you wanted to. Exactly. Am I allowed to ask what character you played or you can't say anything about it yet? I can tell you everything.

It's just that it's a bit disappointing in a way because there's not really a huge amount to say I'm playing myself it's it was one scene um actually I said I did it last week I didn't I did it on Monday um and um yeah so I have one scene with Gemma and uh everybody was completely lovely and I really enjoyed it and um yeah yeah, it was really good fun. And I think sort of 10-year-old me is definitely high-fiving me for being in Neighbours because I used to watch that all the time and Home and Away, obviously. So, yeah, that was so much part. I mean, I didn't realise actually that it's really just big in the UK, Neighbours.

In Australia, it's not even really that known, apparently. No, it's like Home and Away and Neighbours are still really big here. It's just, you know, the population of the the uk that's where their big volume numbers are but um well that's what jemma told me she said people in australia didn't really know it so i wasn't no no but yes oh so no they do know okay cool and uh whenever my friends come from the uk because it's in my home city the first thing they want to do is go on the Neighbours bus tour that goes past Ramsey Street. And the studio that I grew up in doing that show Young Talent Time

that I told you about is Studio A in Nunawading at Channel 10 Studios. That is now the Neighbours studio. So I went for a visit. The show that I was on just had their 50th anniversary of their first show because it ran for 18 years. And I walked in the studio and I was like, this is this is my studio. Why is it, you know, got all of the Neighbours set in here? And one of the girls was filming outside and she ran in and she said,

I got permission to come on the set and say hi to you. She said, I'm a huge fan. I grew up watching Young Talent Time and I'm working on Neighbours and just wanted to let you know that there's a bunch of crew that work on Neighbours that worked with you on Young Talent Time and they all want to come and say hi but they're filming scenes. They can't, like, it was surreal it was just but yeah maybe when we get you back to Australia sometime yes it you you have to film in at the the neighbor's studio do a little another cameo

that'd be great I would love that yes so, sign me up. Yeah, you're right. Maybe I should. When does your episode go out? Because I know they really closed the gap from, like, when my sister was doing Neighbours. It was, like, a year lag before the episode came out. But I don't think it's that long anymore. I don't think. I think it's still early next year, though. I don't think it's this year.

But, yeah, I think they said spring. But, wow, yeah, I didn't realize it was such a big lag. That really is. Yeah. Wow. But, no, yeah, I think they said spring. But wow, yeah, I didn't realize it was such a big lag. That really is. Yeah. Wow. But no, yeah, I think everything spreads out now, hasn't it? You know, between recording things and putting things out. Yeah.

The thirst is there. The hunger is there. So do you have, has that went your appetite? Do you have any other, like, things that you want to tick off with tv shows or anything i mean when i was younger i thought that would be what i'd do i thought i'd be an actor and i i did like acting courses and stuff but music is my first love but yeah i think there's certain things where you think if the right things comes along i would definitely say yes and i think i don't know maybe like you I kind of thrive on the fact that any day,

like any point I could get an email or a phone call and it kind of changes the next thing I'm up to. And I've always really liked that feeling. Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't do a job where it's like, I know what I'm doing for the next year. Like. Exactly.

I don't really know my whole schedule for tomorrow or next week. Yeah. But yeah, so great to speak to you and like your kitchen discos and podcasts have become so important during this time where we are trapped inside and i know we want to let our minds wander to other places so it's just been so brilliant that you've done this and hopefully you know keep keep doing it um because i know some of these things just came to you during lockdown period, but it's just such a great connection with people.

Definitely, I couldn't agree more. And plus, it's been the only time I can lock myself in a room and, yeah, actually finish a sentence when all the homeschooling was happening. So, yeah, there was a loophole there too. Yes. You can't just say mommy i'm recording yeah exactly oh i mean i've been doing that uh here in australia like rooms i go into and i have to say

to ethan right the next hour unless you're on fire or exactly there a limb missing, just don't come in. Yeah, I have those conversations too. Perfect. All right, Dani, listen, take care. Have a lovely evening and very happy birthday for next week. Thank you. Have a really good one. Thank you so much.

Until our paths cross again. Take care, Dani. Thank you. Bye-bye. so while you were listening to me talking to danny i was traveling only two stops in the tube how is that the time works that way the weird ways of chronology in podcast land uh yeah i'm now it's actually a really beautiful day it's really sunny and i'm walking to get my kids from school and um how nice was danny very positive upbeat lady i really enjoyed talking to her she's very twinkly pretty perfect pop star i'd say but also I loved how multi-layered her talent is

I love the idea of tiny Danny on her talent show instructing the uh tailors how to get the fit right on her costumes and when I spoke to my sister Martha who is around the five foot mark she was nodding in agreement everything I said about how Danny spoke about clothes fitting and uh so I've put her in the direction of the QVC range because I think actually there's a lot of stuff I hadn't really thought about like it's not just making the skirts shorter on dresses is it there's a lot more to it there about where everything is in proportion so well done Danny clearly there's there's a need for that and Martha my sister gives it the thumbs up and uh yeah thank you for joining us thank you for keeping me company while I was on my tube

journey and I hope the sky is blue wherever you are I'm really appreciating these days it's going to be all dark soon the wind blooming clock's about to change i absolutely hate that i don't i don't agree with it i hope i haven't offended any listening farmers as i understand it's the farming community who benefit but for the likes of old me who walk the kids to school every morning going out in the dark is not that much fun so yeah anyway that's all of them very middle-aged conversation there about daylight saving time which i'm sure is not what you came to me for today so what have i got for you next week i'm trying to think who i've got recorded i've got is it two i've got more i've got recorded or three more some good ones oh yes actually no I've got three recording

they're all excellent wow you lucky things what a treat I've laid out for you with this series everything from sex coaches to Australian pop strolls and some flipping good chats anyway I'm starting to get nearer the queue of other parents now and I don't really want them to see me looking like I was talking to myself in my false eyelashes from yesterday. So with that, I bid you farewell. Send you lots of love. Same place, same time next week, yeah?

Take care. Have a good half term. Bye-bye. Oh, it'll be Halloween soon. Yay! It'll be spooky. Bye-bye. you