Spiritually Speaking with Jessica & Samantha - Bumping Along: Navigating First-Time Pregnancy

Episode Date: January 12, 2024

Embark on an intimate journey into the world of first-time pregnancy with Sam. 🤰 In this episode, we explore the joys, challenges, and the beautiful unknowns that come with the transformative experience of pregnancy. From the initial excitement of discovering the news to navigating the rollercoaster of emotions, our host offers a comforting space for listeners to relate, reflect, and embrace the incredible journey ahead.🎙️ Whether you're a mom-to-be, a supportive partner, or simply curious about the miracle of life unfolding, this episode provides a wealth of information, laughter, and heartfelt moments. Sam and Jess's warm and relatable approach makes "Bumping Along" a must-listen for anyone navigating the exciting yet sometimes overwhelming path of first-time pregnancy.🍼 Subscribe now to Spiritually speaking for a dose of wisdom and encouragement. "Bumping Along: Navigating First-Time Pregnancy" is more than a podcast episode; it's a companion for the incredible voyage towards parenthood. 🌟👣Subscribe, share, and join our community of listeners on this beautiful adventure called life! 🎉 Find us on instagram @spirituallyspeaking_podcast@jessicamarie_podcast@hairbysamanthagreen

Hello and welcome to Spiritually Speaking with me Jess and me Sam. Welcome everyone, it's nice to have you all back on this episode. It's going to be a nice one. I feel like I don't know what number to say because I said episode 5 before. Yeah, also this is the second time that we're trying to start the podcast. I feel like each episode we have like a few trial runs, don't we, at the beginning. I feel like the intro is the hardest bit to get right yeah but basically in my eyes this is episode five but in Sam's it's episode three but Sam is right because we had two pilots which weren't as episodes so basically this is

the fifth recording yeah and the third episode so welcome to episode three three and the fifth recording. So welcome everyone. As I've said five times, welcome. I'm not recording again. But this episode is a really nice one. This one is all about sort of Sam's journey with the pregnancy. And I guess it's an insight because everyone's on the journey with you on this. Yeah, true. so we're like let's let's get raw let's let's you know fill the fields and I guess be a bit vulnerable with

this phase of your life yeah because in the next few months they're going to be here and everyone's also going to be able to witness that journey yeah I guess is the right word to know yeah yeah um so I guess Sam do you want to tell us what we're going to talk about today yeah so we're going to have a little bit of a chat about motherhood I don't really know if I can even call well I suppose maybe you can pregnancy basically yeah yeah um so I am heavily pregnant at the moment with twins um non-identical twins. So that means that they are in two separate sacks. They've got two separate placentas. Um, and I don't know what I'm having. It's a surprise. I can't believe that. Yeah. I'm really surprised that you decided.

You know what? I think because of the way that we fell pregnant because it was so regimented in a sense of like you know this appointment this day this injection like all of that we're gonna find out on this day if we're pregnant or if we're not that I think because of that I then wanted to be able to have some kind of like element of surprise to it yeah I think like I've still never taken a pregnancy test and had a positive pregnancy test oh my god yeah because I've seen the way you did your fertility yeah I have never thought about that yeah I've never had that experience of like the pregnancy test and then it being positive and being so happy and excited like so I just kind of felt like I was gaining that by doing it this way by not finding out no I get that I always think when

I have children one day I would have a surprise my sisters did that and it was so lovely yeah and I kind of think like I don't really need to know what I'm having yeah like right now I don't need to know and that's okay and I understand why people do find out i completely get that as well and i think that must be really lovely to know but i also just think it doesn't really change anything no i get that i think for a lot of people from what i understand is it's just that organization and a bit of that which obviously exactly you're still organized just yeah just with beige yeah which babes yeah on his page is is what it's all about yeah exactly and i love i love all like neutral neutral stuff anyway so yeah i'm gonna buy them like really colorful toys and

clothes oh my god you'll be like yeah i'll just get all spiritual things yeah i'll have nice crystals yeah i think yeah i think i'm gonna have a boy and a girl but I think it's either a boy and a girl or two boys I physically could not imagine having two girls and I will eat my words if there are two girls oh my goodness I know can you imagine um I don't I genuinely and I know people say this and you're like oh obviously you want one or the other I genuinely don't mind what we have like i've got no preference in that sense yeah i imagine i just see myself having a boy yeah at some point yeah um so that's what makes me think that there's at least one boy in there oh my goodness um so excited yeah i can't wait to find out i know same i am like it's so exciting it's so lovely so how have you

like obviously your body's going through so much like how are you feeling obviously how many are you eight months pregnant now what are you seven months no i don't i i forget to count in months because you always go off weeks when you're pregnant yeah um so technically 31 weeks. Okay, fine. Yeah, so 31 weeks. So when you're having multiple pregnancies, you don't go full term. So full term for one baby would be like 40 weeks. And then in a lot of places, they would let you go over that by like a week or two. But here with twins,

they would normally say it's going to be between 36 and 37 weeks and you would deliver um but the from the more research that i do the chances are that that will even be sooner than that for twins um and again there's other like factors which will um determine when they come as well um but yeah I think it's just kind of like a lot of just waiting and seeing as to when they're gonna come like I'm the when you say like how do I feel I think for me the whole thing has been quite I've been very lucky that I've not been sick. I've not felt terribly unwell, but I think my body has really taken an effect on pregnancy, if that makes sense. Yeah, I can imagine.

Like the pain of it is something that I didn't even know was a thing. Like I had no idea that people, I've never really heard anyone speak about that before. But then at the same time, I am only five foot three. I am naturally quite petite you are yeah and i am carrying two and two placentas and yeah it's a lot on your body it is a lot and like obviously looking at you you look beautiful like you know you are all bump like thank you yeah but that's obviously quite a lot on your body when it is for people that

are petite or anyone really like it's just so much for your body to go through yeah definitely and like I've got friends who are pregnant who are a lot taller than I am and they're still and they're like further on through their pregnancy and they're still like being able to walk everywhere and so active and I just I'm like crippled in pain like I can't even walk around the mall yeah um which is just not like me at all. Um, I've still been able to do like Pilates. That's the,

one of the only things I can actually do where I feel comfortable. Um, which has been really nice to be able to still do some movement. Yeah. Um, but to not be able to go for like even a 15, 20 minute walk is difficult. Yeah.

Um, it's crazy. I can't even imagine like how it feels carrying like a human in your body genuinely like having a watermelon like that's all i can imagine all i can describe it as is like a watermelon between your legs and like at different times in the day obviously depending on how they are sitting you'll feel heavier than others in terms of like when you stand yeah um but yeah the physical aspect of actually being pregnant has been a lot tougher than what i thought it would be yeah like i had to finish work three weeks maybe if not more earlier than what i planned which was really difficult um mentally more than anything just because I am such a active like workaholic um so that was really difficult I think I do giggle when we went for lunch and I was like what are

you doing about mat leave he's like yeah I probably won't have one yeah and I was like are you joking you plunker I was like come on and then we like we'll have like you were like no I will have one it just will be you know this or that and I was like right let's just not put pressure on it but let's like yeah anticipate a break and you were like yeah I guess I should yeah and when I was saying like I wouldn't have mat leave like I knew I would have mat leave in terms of not doing hair yes but I was expecting to still then do everything else I do on top of that yeah um because it's not physical yeah so I always thought well I'm fine because I do like business mentoring and I do obviously I've

got a salon so I manage that every day um in terms of like all the things that go with owning a business um but yeah I think actually you are 100% you were right and as soon as you'd said that i thought oh yeah i've not actually planned any rest time yeah um but i think i i see that with a lot of my clients when they come to me when it's their first because you obviously don't know what's yeah you don't know what's to come you're just like i'll be fine and obviously you will be but it's that kind of i think the female body what what i think i've explored with my work on a more spiritual level with that sort of divine feminine is listening to the body, isn't it? Yeah, 100%.

And I think we detach from that. So let alone from pregnancy. It could even be when you're having your period. Like people don't rest. You know, it's like the work week was not made for menstrual cycles. No, it wasn't. So it's that kind of thing where you have got to listen. And as women, we do need rest.

Yeah. And we also have a lot of energy in other parts of our cycle when you're pregnant and different sort of trimesters. And, you know, and also the fourth trimester that people don't talk about, your face is like... Yeah, I know. I've heard this mentioned like once before, but I just still don't even understand it. So obviously they always talk about your face is like yeah i know i've heard this mentioned like once before but i just still don't even understand so obviously they always talk about the three

trimesters yeah they never speak about the fourth which is the you know the recovery after having the baby right so it's like oh like you have the baby and then that's so true yeah so it's not spoken about that that time period of three months yeah i'm sure it's longer than that that the body yeah emotionally you go through but it's sort of exploring what the fourth trimester means to you yeah that's and obviously with matt leave that's part of it um you know paternity leave for partners or if you're doing your own whatever it's that kind of journey of your fourth trimester yeah that you sort of set your intention and energy but like yeah i think society is just that women are fine they're made for it and yeah we are yeah but also like our body needs to heal recover yeah and i think as

well like so for me i'm having a plan c section um obviously with twins like you can have natural shouldn't call it natural vaginal birth as well um so i laughed at the word yeah you know what it is like because people get i think some people get a little bit offended when you say that a c-section is not natural yeah i personally don't because i don't know i'm just not that yeah like bothered about that like i just think any way that you bring a baby into the world is amazing like whether that be adoption whether that be ivf whether that be you know it's mean like yeah I guess you've been on the journey already with fertility that's been I guess what they would class as non-natural exactly yeah which is crazy because we've all chose to live in this time of life where these things are available for a reason

there's times as well that I think and like i see like some of like my parents friends who are now like say in their 60s who've never had kids and it's because they couldn't have kids and i think wow like that could have been us well totally like you see it in um call the midwife yeah i've called midwife but um that those people that you know would have struggled then that just meant it wasn't a choice yeah where now we have the choice yeah in the choice to have them choice to not have them it's like incredible yeah either way i do think like your outlook on labor is that more modern way of looking at it now because we all do just yeah explore yeah definitely yeah so i'm quite yeah so i'll be having a planned c-section um and even that i've not really thought about it

that much like i've made myself a little playlist um i listen to it every now and then just like playlist you know what the playlist is actually quite spiritually speaking yeah yeah it's a podcast um so it's actually more instrumental versions of songs that I like because I feel like that really calms me and just I feel like I can really feel that so like there's certain songs that I'll put on and like I can really I don't know how to really explain it but like honing on that energy of that song and imagine that time. I think I've said this before because like I'm massive into like manifesting

and things like that. And there'll be songs that I'll listen to at a certain time of my life to imagine that scenario. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've manifested with music. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Manifesting with music. So the song, so yeah, so I've made a playlist for it and I've got a few songs on there which are more

like um instrumental versions of songs I love yeah and I can just imagine listening to and feeling really good about in that time yeah um but the actual c-section like I've not really even thought about and then one of my friends actually had a c-section like a week ago and she was like the recovery is rough and I was like oh crap and like she's not a particularly dramatic person and I was like right okay um and for me and Andy we didn't want anyone here when we had the babies because we just wanted to really have that time the four of us five including my dog um and just kind of like enjoy that time of just us and in hindsight now i've changed those plans and realized actually we do need the help and my parents are very lucky that they're going to be able to come over um and help us and you know what like they're not overbearing either my mom and dad like they're

so lovely they're so lovely. They're so chilled. And if I said to them, like, we just need a bit of time, just us, they'll be fine to like leave us to it, you know? Like, so I don't know why really I didn't want them from the day one. But I think it's because of how we live now. Like we weren't made to be, you know, doing this on our own. Yeah.

So there's this pressure to be like a perfect mother i would say in the world so however you give birth you know however you if you soft parent yeah i don't know all that however you fall pregnant again like yeah there's all this stuff but actually when you go back to the tribal way of surviving because that's what we were doing yeah when we were cavemen and women or in that tribal way you know we as women would stick together because the men would be getting the food and you know really basic stuff really sort of animalistic so like if i if i had milk i would maybe breastfeed your children because if you couldn't like because there would be no other way yeah you wouldn't isolate yourself you wouldn't go to a cave on your own and be like babes I'm

doing this yeah that's so true you'd be like help me yeah and I'd be like yeah and I'm not feeling good today can you help me so is it like it takes a village yes I think has kind of disappeared now yeah so and it comes from somewhere yeah again like I say that I'm speaking from someone who's not had children but been around lots of people that have had children and you do need a support network around you um I think what you have to do is like speak up though and yes I would say that's probably an observation I've seen is when you don't speak up the anxiety can be quite high yeah um so if you're uncomfortable with something yeah and i remember you saying to me once like i'm the type of person where i kind of just get

everything done so then nobody then thinks oh she needs the help yeah or then offer it i always yeah with you because you come across with your shit together and you actually really do have your shit together yeah there's less of a like sam like are you okay because you are okay but also you still want help or you still would like help yeah i still appreciate it when it's there so i do think now there is this kind of uncomfortable way of like or you know when when women have their babies how much help they take and obviously you know especially here in dubai a lot of people have nannies and that makes so much sense you know again going back to that tribal way of living you you would have a support network around you so someone like me that doesn't have children would be like I'm here

because I've got the energy and yes you you would have those people around you where now it's just it's very different so you're sort of in this battle of trying to live intuitively which is like help me i'm okay like but help me and then the other side of you that's like i'm fine i've got this yeah like i don't need help because that's a fading you know and we do it in all aspects of life yeah and people like to feel proud don't they like they're trying to like protect that and they want to be like oh no i've done it like i've seen other people do it so i should be able to do it and yeah it's that same thing and not yeah and i think pressure that people put on themselves i think so and a lot of women that come to me in that that fourth trimester you know just need to

be like held a bit and looked after yeah um that that would be again like an observation so i i'd say a lot of people struggle and they don't really know how to sort of um sort of communicate that yeah it feels like a failing yeah yeah yeah 100 and i just think like you look at everyone around you and you think oh but they're doing really well and why do i feel like this because they're feeling like that and everybody's so different and even like my sister um is also pregnant at the moment which is obviously amazing and she's due a few months after me and she even said the other day bless her that she's struggling with um excuse me um like pelvic pain but she was like we were in like a group chat with our friends and she said um but

you know I can't complain because I'm only carrying one and Sammy's carrying two and I was like no you absolutely can like yeah there's no reason why you can't complain about that like it's brutal it's it's a massive thing and everybody's is so different but that's it isn't it yeah we kind of can be martyrs as women and i'm talking because i am a woman i'm sure men may feel the same but like i think we have this part of us that's constantly there's like something competitive yeah there's obviously got to be something chemical i don't know to be the most attractive and the most this for whatever reason again going back to tribal but like we can't really show weakness that much can we yeah

it's exhausting yeah like i'm quite comfortable sharing weakness because yeah i'm definitely becoming a lot more so 100 yeah i think so and especially even now like saying that like it has been very painful yeah body yeah um but i do feel like i've turned a corner in the last week or so like i think just relaxing more has has helped definitely leaning into the fact that what i can't do and just saying no to things yeah um and being okay with that yeah it's good that's good yeah so that's been nice what else is on your list i can't read everything so i'm so organized so of like just different things that we were going to talk about with it um so one of the

funny things i find that actually happened to me which i really wasn't expecting was when you're kind of well for me it was near the beginning when I was about 12 ish weeks maybe a bit more and I just didn't want to talk about being pregnant anymore like I kind of had to speak about it earlier than why as in like tell people slightly earlier than what I wanted to one because I'd shown like I was um showing quite early but also because I felt so sick I wasn't being sick but i just felt really unwell and i'd be doing clients hair and i would literally be like sweating i would be wanting to throw up couldn't hold a conversation like i had to eat like ginger

biscuits while i was doing the hair so i had to obviously tell people earlier than what i wanted to that i was pregnant but then god bless them they're all then like oh my god this is amazing like they want to ask those questions and that's so lovely and you know it was just one of them things where I just didn't want to talk about it yeah I was like I don't want to have the same conversation 10 times a day and I'm still this other person who wants to talk about what I'm watching on Netflix and you know where I'm going on holiday like I wanted to talk about other things but at that time like all people wanted to talk about was that and that was quite hard to get my head around what hard head around

that you didn't want to talk about it yeah because I think I felt guilty for not wanting to talk about it because what I'd just been through you just thought i'd wanted to shout it from the rooftops but also hard to get my head around that that's what people that i was that that was then the conversation that i was always in yeah and that my topic of conversation had shifted and had changed and whereas i was so used to being I felt like I changed people basically quickly without realising. Your identity had changed. And maybe because you've always been known for more like sort of business.

Yes. Sort of being brave and successful and bold that this felt a little bit like, no, hang on guys, don't forget about this. Yeah, exactly. I would say that's probably, like I'm pregnant but also I've achieved these things things yeah we also have a conversation that involves my brain yes exactly whereas now i've leaned into it you're embracing it completely different stage but

at that beginning bit that was quite difficult and i've spoken to other people who felt the same so it definitely is a thing um yeah i've seen that with when I was working in the office obviously people with you know that would come back for like what they'd call keep in touch days oh yeah and they'd be like it's lovely to talk about the baby but they're like I just want to like be me yeah yeah like you see that a lot uh you know I had a friend like that and I like totally get it that you've you sort of built this life and you're like I haven't like yeah i've changed but i'm still me yeah and i imagine it's probably quite isolating at times like it's probably a feeling that you probably feel a bit sort of misunderstood i don't know because again i think you just feel a bit guilty for it yeah you just feel a bit bad that you want

to talk about other stuff but yeah you also just want to you know you you have such a reminder of it every day on you that it's nice to then talk about different things yeah I get that and I think again as well going back to like the perfect mother I think if you say that pregnancy you know was not like amazing or it was good but like people are oh yeah it's so true so there's also a pressure that like if you're like i'm just a bit tired don't even talk about it i've got messages on instagram from people like oh my god pregnancy is the best thing ever like it's i'm so like jealous that you're pregnant because i love being pregnant or something like that and i was just a bit like really like and for some people they do love it yeah yeah but also it's okay to not love it i think again this is the whole thing yeah and i i'm just neither here nor there yeah

like i just i'm just i'm not got i'm not obsessed with it i'm not not loving it like i'm just you're just going through the emotions of it yeah exactly and i think i've enjoyed it more in this last month or so knowing probably that it's not got that much longer last yeah um yeah like i wouldn't say i haven't enjoyed it but like i say i'm just like yeah that's nice though i think it's a good way to be and then i think yeah it's a calm approach and i think you've just got to be calm definitely like otherwise if you're going to get sort of stressed and obsessive then I think that can be quite difficult yeah and I've been really lucky that I haven't had anxiety while I've been pregnant yeah like a lot of people in general suffer with anxiety no yeah see where I I

definitely have my flare-ups of anxiety yeah and I have flare-ups definitely like in certain aspects of my life maybe but i am very lucky that i don't really suffer with anxiety now there's been certain instances in my life that has brought out anxiety yes um which has been very unsettling and i've been very aware of because it's not a feeling that i felt before or i'm used to yeah but i'm very lucky that i haven't really been anxious at all about being pregnant because especially again considering the way that i'd felt pregnant like a lot of people would then be very anxious about like oh my god is this food got this in it or is this

this and you know like quite nervous in that sense um but i actually haven't felt anxious about any of it which is really lucky yeah but also i guess that's the work you've done like yeah everyone's different i just realized i don't have control over it yeah and i'm just like you know what like the babies are gonna be who they're gonna be yeah they're gonna be hopefully healthy and i just have to roll with that and there are certain things i have control over and that the things i don't yeah I think that's it isn't it yeah because I would say like with me with my anxiety like it's always just like a little bit there yeah and then I have to just work through it yeah so I always know I've got to be

like a little bit like give it a bit yeah yeah exactly my therapist every now and then yeah certain things I think for some people when they're going through big life changing stuff like i anticipate that there'll be some of that for me yeah and i would have to sort of check in a bit more but i think it kind of you just never know do you you don't but that's the whole thing you don't ever know yeah so why stress about it because you know i mean like yeah and i just think like for me as a baby i was a very sick baby yeah and andy wasn't so obviously the hope is that these babies are going to be very well and that they're not going to be unwell like i was again if they are

i deal with that as and when it happens yeah i think you see it isn't it you just gotta go with the flow yeah why worry about something that might never happen yeah like so what like um you're obviously in your apartment at the moment yeah so then the i can't get words out so they'll be in with you in in your room obviously at the beginning yeah yeah yeah so we live in a two-bedroom apartment at the moment, but the second bedroom, because we are having guests over... Oh, yeah, so your mum and dad are going to be in the... Well, yeah, I don't really know. Working out. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, TBC.

Even if they aren't there for the whole time, staying with us, then they will be there for a certain period of time, and then we've got other guests and other family coming out that are going to be staying in that second bedroom so the second bedroom can't be like a nursery or a baby's room or anything like that so we are quite um short on space at the moment but we are also the plan is this year to buy a house and move which is really exciting um so again i think i'm just rolling with it yeah and to be fair i think it's probably been a bit of a blessing because it saved me from going crazy on buying stuff yeah because i haven't got a nursery i've

got the space for it i have one set of drawers and a changing table and that's it love that yeah simple yeah and is it the drawers and the changing table that i've dreamt of no it's from ikea yeah it does the job and i'm really happy with the way that i've organized it love that of course it's labeled within an inch of its life with everything that's in there and there's organizers and it's you know i love that um but yeah i'm happy with that again i'm not that bothered about um the way that it is or looks yeah i'll be excited about when we do move into a house and we get to have they get to have a room and all of that fun stuff will be nice i think so yeah like having that yeah it's i think we get

excited don't we like I would get excited and I would definitely be like oh my god I've got to do all these things oh yeah like there's already a Pinterest board yeah for a nursery like when that does happen yeah I think that's nice though babes that you're you're not putting pressure on yourself and rushing outside and yeah you know I know your circumstances also mean that but it yeah I think sometimes we get carried away with the stuff. Yeah. And I think again, like, I know, like,

I feel like I chirp on about the fertility treatment all the time, but I really think like that was such a lesson for me in a sense of you can't control everything and you just lean into it. And that that's an okay. Like, as like, obviously I would love to already be in a house

but i'm not and our situation right now doesn't mean that we can be so that's okay yeah yeah you know you've definitely been i'm gonna stress about it thrown into things being out of your control i would say over the last six months maybe a bit longer than that yeah yeah so it's been like a huge learning for you definitely with that yeah which is actually really powerful like it's really powerful so then like i guess for anyone who is just finding out they're pregnant first 12 weeks like what advice would you give them i would say maybe about announcing it as well yeah it's difficult um i mean everybody's obviously very different in terms of who they tell and that whole 12 week stigma of like you can't tell people for 12 weeks i think for me personally

i told whoever i would have told if it wasn't going to work out yeah i think that's that's the way that i view it yeah i just think it's such a long time to not tell anyone and to feel so isolated that you feel like oh i can't tell people because it's the danger and when i'm saying that i'm like doing the hyphenate of what do you call that like i just say speech marks yeah speech marks yeah proper grammar about calling it a danger period because obviously i'm very aware that that period is actually a lot longer than just 12 weeks but um i think it's such a hard time and can be such a lonely time if you don't talk about it people yeah because it's also the time where you feel the worst normally and you're not showing so people just think you're either being rude or you're you know not going to social events

or things like that so for us we told yeah the people closest to us quite quickly and um then we traveled um so we actually went home when we were eight weeks then we told all of our friends and family which was really really nice especially because obviously they'd known what we'd done and it was really special and by that point we'd had about seven scans at that point so yeah it was um it was that was lovely um but yeah i think if you're in that phase of going through that 12 weeks don't worry if it's like taking you a lot to get your head around it and don't also feel like guilty if you're not as happy as what you think you should be yeah because i have friends that you know fell pregnant maybe by accident or unexpectedly or generally just quicker than what they expected who then feel a sense of like responsibility where oh my god other people this doesn't happen for as easily

yeah I shouldn't be I should be really happy or you know what I mean I also I've had a few people come to me and say like I really want I really wanted to have a baby but it just happened quite quick and now I'm kind of grieving the life that I'm gonna lose oh my god yeah that's a common thing with again with clients I feel like I keep but it is yeah yeah yeah sort of really does open up and share that with me and i thought god that's so interesting yeah yeah for some people it really is you know something they've been very much wanting but for others they're like yeah but oh my god and either is absolutely fine like i remember before we even decided that we wanted to start trying I was already grieving that life because I loved my life so much and like we had such a great balance of like hard work and going

out and living over here and it just being such a fun time of our life and I remember whenever we would do things so spontaneously in the back of my mind, I remember thinking, oh, we won't be able to do this forever. You know, like I was already grieving it before we'd even made the decision to change that. So I can imagine for that to happen unexpectedly, wow, that would be a lot to get your head around. Yeah, totally.

It's such a mixture of emotions, isn't it? But like trying for a baby, you know, falling pregnant whether you planned it or not like there's just so much on obviously the woman yeah a lot you know even you know when your period's like yeah even i have it and i'm like oh my god yeah definitely it's that kind of just yeah it's it's a lot yeah i think even like when it comes like announcing it a lot of people don't announce that they're pregnant on social media. Absolutely fine. Do whatever feels right to you.

For me, I announced it on my hair page, but I announced it with like a little write-up. You did your reel, didn't you? No, I did like a post. That was the first thing that I did was a post where- Was it with the scam pictures and Ernie? No, that was on my personal one. Oh, right.

Me and all my 10 Instagram accounts. No, I love it. No, so I had, it was that picture. Yes, how beautiful. So I'd upload a picture and then I'd put like a bit of text with it. Oh, yeah. And I basically just put like, thank you in advance for your congratulations.

It means more than you'll ever realise. Our journey on becoming parents has been far from easy i wanted to post this with the announcement because i know that six months ago it would have really upset me or triggered me seeing another pregnancy announcement um and then i just go on to say you know if you feel the same yeah because i just think it is hard because unless you felt that you don't know how it feels to see pregnancy announcements constantly on your feed on social media when you're feeling a certain way and it's not that it's not their responsibility to make me feel better at all because they enjoy they they deserve to be enjoying that moment yeah but for someone who had felt that and knew how that felt i then didn't want to be that next person

to upload a pregnancy announcement yeah and feel quite um selfish about so hard though because it's it's your celebration yeah and i think again this is the thing with social media i just want to boycott it yeah like it's just all this it just triggers the shit out of us yeah like in every element of our life and it just makes me think like i feel like we're in some like matrix and they've done this to us all to experiment like yeah it's just so bizarre but like you know you should you should be able to announce it without shame or yeah um and also I guess when we do sort of feel triggered by other people's stuff it's I guess just owning your journey isn't it and I

think I've definitely even like when I see not that it's the same but you know when you're dating and you know like things don't work out with someone and you see all this relationship stuff and all couple stuff you're like oh okay like here we go again yeah that's so true you know it goes from that or it could be someone's in a relationship and they're really unhappy and they see someone single they might look at me and be like oh my god she's living her best life yeah of course i'm really happy yeah but i'm also trying to find my person and it hasn't worked so far so like we're all trying to like work this life out yeah with the complex of social media and what do we announce it's like the soft launch of a boyfriend you know it's like do you know what I mean it's just like

all this stuff we have to think about um and it's nice you know it's lovely that you did that it's very considerate and it's very aware um but again it's just all that it's not necessary it wasn't it wasn't needed it wasn't necessary but it just felt right to me to announce it with something that just said like you know if you're feeling a certain way about this post like i'm sorry like i have also been there yeah i'm really glad that i did it i think the amount of messages that i got after it was insane yeah but for again what was quite funny not funny but like strange yeah was it was from people who i wouldn't have thought of do you know what i mean who in my head i didn't i would never

have thought you're like oh they're struggling with the same thing this is the thing yeah like we're all struggling in our own ways and we have all these this perception and lens that everyone's good and they've got everyone else is perfect even like people be listening to this and thinking oh wow like you know they've whatever and he's like well no obviously the whole point of this is that we're more vulnerable when we're sharing that it's not all like that yeah yeah but i think you know there's this lens and perception that everyone has got it together yeah and you're the only one that hasn't yeah and i can promise you that it's not the case it's really not no it's not and it just, it's a hard way to live

and it's not a way that we should live really, you know. So it's definitely a tricky one. Yeah. But I think your announcement was really lovely and obviously you posted a reel with like your fertility journey as well. Yes. That was beautiful.

I think for people to see that as well and also for you to look back on, you know. Yeah, definitely. And even like there was a point in the um fertility treatment when i'd gone to paris and i was on this boat and had to do my trigger shot when i was on the boat and what i'm talking about anxiety the anxiety that that came with was this like a party boat it wasn't that it was a party boat at all it was a business trip so it was with all other salons from like yeah it was all of the salons like from dubai and different business owners and people that was

meeting for the first time yeah and they're talking to me and i'm looking at them and they're speaking and i'm trying to engage in this conversation but my mind is just like somewhere else it's completely somewhere else i'm like my alarm's about to go off in a minute i'm gonna have to go and do this trigger shot what if i can't do it what if i drop it or you know what i mean like all those things that are going through your mind yeah but again on social media yeah it didn't seem that way at all but also if you anyone that's listening that thought sam was rude on that party just seeing know she wasn't she just needed to inject herself yeah yeah literally yeah exactly and you just feel so like rude but like you say you just never know what other people are going through but this is the point so when you know you're in a situation and someone's a bit off with you yes it's usually not about you and if it is then they just can't

communicate and that's their problem yeah but usually it will be that it's usually not about you and if it is then they just can't communicate and that's their problem yeah but usually it will be that it's something deeper yeah i know it when i'm zoned out because something's going on i actually will say to someone now i'm really sorry yeah i'm not i'm not actively listening i'm i've got some stuff going on please know this isn't personal like i feel like i over validate yeah but what it's helped me do is realize that if I'm you know with someone and they're not right or they're not themselves I know that it's more than likely something to do with them and it's not to do with me yeah before I would have just gone home and being like I am the worst person ever and they dislike me we say that um in the salon sometimes oh my god you'll have it all the time i really that's

something that i've really learned over time is that you could have a client who could be specifically rude on that day or they might just be very blunt or they might there's just there's signs there's warning signs that you see and i know in my head i'm like that's because they're going through something and usually when you do that you might feel I know in my head I'm like that's because they're going through something and usually when you do that you might feel guilty but sometimes you don't even realize you're doing it yeah um like I would say people will often say to me like oh you didn't see yourself yeah um and I think that's because I'm pretty positive yeah you know like I would say I show up when I'm socializing and I don't socialise often for that reason

because I just like to be me and I will admit I'm a bit useless at sort of instigating plans with people just because I'm like, I don't want to show up today or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you do notice it but sometimes just let someone be that way.

So there's a reason and you just kind of have to be aware that it's probably not you so true you know yeah I completely agree and I think like you say in the salon obviously when people come to me they're they're pretty vulnerable and open yeah so and if do you know what I can say something that can really trigger someone they then might be off with me I try to place it in a way that kind of yeah is at comfort but if it's not like yeah I could be like they don't like me and maybe they don't like me but also I've triggered them yeah and that's something they've got to work out so like in every interaction

we have in life like in any way social media in person on the phone whatever it's usually the person not you yeah half the time it's what they're going through yeah it is babes yeah that is a good thing to remember it is I would say so like you know it's it's a big thing something I've learned is it's usually yeah it's not me it's you I know I know yeah the other I mean the main other things I suppose with being pregnant that I suppose I've noticed is um sometimes the way that I mean like I said before like conversations obviously change within a certain way but people have an opinion on everything oh my god I can imagine wow like like what like what you do what you everything like what you do what you

oh just everything oh my god it's it's insane like it could be what you eat it could i went to yo sushi yeah and i asked for um a diet coke and the waiter said to me have i told you this yes yeah the waiter said to me he was like you shouldn't be drinking that in your condition oh my goodness i was like condition him in the face literally i was like if you sold wine right now i'd ask for a wine just to be annoying like i couldn't believe it i was absolutely mortified but actually to be fair normally i probably would have said something but i actually didn't i just went yeah no i'm fine i'll have a diet coke please yeah good for you yeah normally i would have said something a bit more than that no but this is the thing though where people have you know there's all this information of what you can and can't have and you just have to make a judgment that's right for you and then people

have to mind their business so that way to bless him yeah probably should just minded his own business definitely people don't do that though do they no i do think there is there's there's this place of privilege that people have in two circumstances i see often when people are pregnant people feel privileged enough to opinion like share their opinions and also when people are single so there's this like you know yeah you should be doing this yeah oh you know yeah why why what's wrong with you what should you be doing you know have you tried this and you're like thank you very much everybody i've had this conversation every family gathering goodbye oh my god and it's the same with pregnancy there's something that brings this like superiority yeah in us humans yeah and

it is usually a generation yeah older than us and we're all breaking it but it's still there definitely and you're just like peeps chill out yeah 100% and even like it's even one thing people make comments like oh my god you've got so big and you're like yeah you're like cheers yeah like yeah i don't really want to hear that yeah oh you look great yeah i always feel like i say you look beautiful yeah yeah i just think when people say like oh you get bigger every week i'm like no shit i get bigger every week but that's such a triggering thing as well because you're like what the bump might yes me yeah like what do you think like yeah oh my god you're so big for that point and i'm like

yeah yeah no i get that that's a lot to take in. But I mean, it's fine. I think people are getting better at that. Do you find it's more an older generation that do that? Yeah, definitely. And you know what, mum, if you're listening, I'm going to call you out because I'm just going to have to go there.

But I was at home when I was 12 weeks pregnant and we had just had a chippy tea, which if you're not northern is fish and chips and I'd flown that day as well so I was just extra bloated anyway and I had a really tight dress on this dress I've got on now and um my mum was like oh my god you look about six months pregnant not three months and I was like thanks babes i could have swung for it like i love my mom so much but yeah i know yeah mom if you're listening i'm so sorry for calling you out but um my mom would do the same and she'd meant no harm by it whatsoever and her now listening to this

she'll be devastated but like i just was i was like mortified. I thought, oh my God, I'm so big and I'm only three months. Like this is terrible. How am I going to continue? I think it's a success when you're big, when you're pregnant. Yeah. Well, yeah, because you also get that the other way around, don't you? Yeah, if you say so small. Oh, you're tiny.

Yeah. And I think people were like, wow, let's celebrate. Yeah. And I think it's like, it's healthy. Yeah. Like I know that yeah that would be that would be oh of course it was like it there was absolutely zero malice behind it but i just remember thinking at the time wow yeah but this is it i think that generation in general

just sort of they're um yeah we're we're the generation that are kinder in the sense kinder in a sense of our words like i think we just think about i think we've been shown to be more aware because i think we can get in more trouble yeah that's so true to be honest yeah like we can say something that is so true cancel culture yeah so i think there's definitely there yeah um but also i think things change all the time yeah and it's hard but yeah definitely i get that yeah yeah oh I know that was so funny bless her but I mean like I say she meant well yeah but yeah they've definitely been the biggest things for me and then yeah I feel like the rest of it has just been

fairly straightforward journey really which is amazing yeah so I guess when we talk to you post babies that's gonna be so interesting yeah so interesting we're just gonna send loads of love and yeah everything to that version of you fingers crossed yeah it'll be good i hope i have my sanity i'm sure you will yeah and if you don't don't worry about it yeah who does yeah like i don't think i do yeah so exactly we'll just we'll just ride the waves go and feel the feels but you've got this you're doing amazing oh thank you you are should we do um a little card yeah definitely see how it resonates for what we've been speaking about so we're just tapping into the oracles you'll hear the shuffle maybe by the microphone a bit. Get it. ASMR. Yeah.

ASMR. Yeah. It's not that, because they can hear my cackle behind it. Right, okay. Let's see what we've got. Okay. So it says, I don't want that one. It doesn't resonate.

I like when you do that, you know. What, when I don't? When you say, like, no, it doesn't resonate. It's not the message. Okay, so I'm not feeling any of these, babes. Okay, right, this is the one. I did shuffle. It's the third card, all right? I didn't force it.

So it says Sacred Journey, Life Cycles, Family and Transformation. That was the card I was wanting. It took three, but that's all right, third time lucky. But I think really the message for all of us, whether you're trying for a baby, you want a baby, you make a choice to not want to be a mum, or you're just a mum who's trying to work it all out, it doesn't matter what you are,

or a male listener who's here to just observe this journey of life as a woman you know it is all about transformation constantly and growing and and being you know I think as women we're so bloody powerful yeah like our bodies not to be crude like bleed every month it's wild we ovulate yeah you know our older generations go through the menopause we have that to come one day like it's so much and like even with like the menstrual cycle it starts from such a young age like these little people like you know they're like 11 and yeah it's just a lot and I think sometimes we don't actually, like, acknowledge the fact that it's so sacred and so, so incredible. And we should give ourselves a bit of credit for that.

Yes. On that journey, we're constantly transforming and, you know, moving in a, you know. It's an amazing thing what the body can do. It really is. And we should own that and we should be kind to our bodies. like you know it is you know life is a constant cycle and a constant journey and i think that we should be kind to ourselves on all the journeys because sometimes it's really shit and sometimes it's bloody amazing yeah and doesn't matter which one yeah because you'll you'll get through it and it will always pass and I know

that there's always things like this too shall pass and yeah it does but when you're in it it really doesn't feel like it will do you know what I mean it's like thanks for that quote but I'm not feeling it right now so do you know what when you're in it feel it and embrace it whatever it is good or bad because you know you'll you will get transformation from it so with the uh the the deep and transformative message there i think we are i think we're done yeah we're done yeah i feel like that was lovely yeah it was it was a nice little like um round up i feel like i think so pregnancy before they arrive yeah um i'm so excited for the episode when they're hear i feel like we're gonna have like one each are we gonna yeah have them on okay there'll be our first guest yes oh my god yeah we'll just hold one yeah and we'll just embrace it and everyone can hear all the noises that they make

this is the real world that will be quite cute oh i love it that will be it's crazy isn't it yeah that's what we'll do they will right well guys thanks so much for listening to spiritually speaking with me jess and me sam and don't forget to follow us on instagram so we have our own podcast instagram page now which is at spiritually speaking underscore podcast and my instagram is at jessicamarie underscore holistic and mine is at hair by samantha green thank you so so so much for listening and rating the podcast and reviewing it we really really appreciate that and it's subscribing it really does um make all the difference it does and follow our instagram as

well because we'll be engaging with you guys on that for content and whatnot so yeah have a good week have a good day keep it real and lots of love see you soon