Spiritually Speaking with Jessica & Samantha - Let’s Talk Confidence: The Good, the Bad & the Wobbly

Episode Date: July 26, 2025

In this week’s episode of Spiritually Speaking, we’re diving into all things confidence — especially when it comes to running a business.We got an anonymous question asking how we became confident in managing our businesses, and the truth is... it didn’t happen overnight. This is one of those real talk episodes where we share the messy middle — the behind-the-scenes of what actually worked, what flopped, and how we built confidence without always knowing what we were doing.From moments of full-body “yes I’ve got this” energy to days where we felt like giving it all up — we unpack the real relationship between confidence, failure, growth, and self-trust.If you’re building something (or want to) and feel like you're wobbling — this one’s for you. Confidence isn’t always loud. Sometimes it’s just showing up again, even after things fall apart.

Hello and welcome back to spiritually speaking with me, Sam. And with me, Jess. Welcome back. Welcome back. We are finally on the same time zone. We are, babes. It feels good. It feels nice. It does. It's been a long time, actually. It has. I feel like, I don't know, my heart feels more full than normal that we're in the same time zone. It feels like, I know you're in Manchester, but, you know, a few hours away, but it's nice. It's good. Yeah, it's nice. How is it? How is it? Has it been back? It's been lovely.

So I got back a few days ago. So we're pre-recording. So this will come out next Friday. Probably when I've been home a couple of weeks. But I've been back for a few days as we're recording this. And yeah, it's just lovely. Obviously, it helps when the weather's nice. And I just love being with my family.

So, like, as soon as I got back, my sisters were around with the kids. So I went straight to the school, picked them up. Did the kids know you were coming back? Yeah, they knew. Yeah. I've surprised them. so many times i was like i just can't do it every time yeah so that was lovely and we was just all in the garden and i don't know i just felt so happy and so like content and just yeah really

like really good really happy i feel i'm where i'm meant to be which is such a nice feeling yeah i'm so glad especially after our emotional conversation last week i know goodness me yeah it was it really was um i'm just so glad that you're back and that you enjoy in it and that you're spending so much time with your family and just living life in the UK. I know. And do you know what? I actually listen back and I don't really like listen back to the recordings. Two things.

My microphone wasn't working so sorry everyone, but there's nothing we could do about that. And the other thing was I cried listening back. So like it really did like bring up emotions and I did receive some very lovely messages from people. So thank you. I appreciate that. Oh, that's nice. I'm glad. Yeah. So yeah, but that's it really. I haven't got loads to update you on because I'm just sort of just spending time with family.

But you cementful, you had a weekend away for a Hindu. I have, yes. Hellasool. How was it? Lovely. It was so nice. I went to Budapest, my friend's Hindu. Three nights, I think it was, probably I said it Sunday. Yeah, three nights in Budapest. And so I've been to Budapest before.

have you ever been i think i have on a work trip years ago i'm sure i went to budapest over 10 years ago now and i really didn't like it i'll be honest like i i did not like it at all to be honest i don't think there was anything that i liked about it um so when it was decided that we were going to budapest of this hendu i was a bit like right okay like it's one of my best friends so i'm obviously going to go yeah but i wasn't thrilled about it i'll be honest. I absolutely loved it. I had so much fun. The weather was the weather was amazing so I think that definitely helps because the time before that I'd gone it was cold as well and you know what the difference is now when you go away like you can research now when you go away, can't you? Like I just

went on TikTok and found all these like really nice restaurants and bars and like things to do and we just had the best time and like I say if I compare it to when I'd gone previously we just didn't know what to do when we went there and just yeah it was all right but it just wasn't great but this time was so much fun my friend that's getting married is one of my friends from Dubai as well so she'd flown in from Dubai so that was really nice see her again and it was a great group of girls it was really really fun um yeah it was great we um we went on this prosceco boat tour um on the last night which to be honest i when we got on it we were like this is a bit naff but it actually worked out really really good um so we ended up you can basically sit inside or outside now obviously everyone wants to be sat outside but there was no more seats outside and the way that they this is probably a boring story but whatever i'm just going to tell it they make you cue right before you

get on the boat and then they line up three boats and they fill up one boat then they fill up the second and then they fill up the third now we've been queuing for ages because we've got there like on time but we weren't at the front of the queue so we ended up inside on the first boat but then the second boat if you were behind us in the queue you got outside on the second boat so it didn't really make sense in terms of like you've got there you've queued but then you don't you end up with a shitsy anyway. So I, being me, just said to the manager of the boat, I was like, excuse me, is there any way you could put us on that second boat upstairs? We've queued for ages to get on this. It's a hindo. It's a bit naff inside. It's boiling hot as well. And he's like,

there's nothing we can do. There's nothing we can do. You're already on this one now. So just like, right, okay. So then I thought, well, I don't want her to not have a good time. So I'll make it as fun as possible. And, you know, we were playing games and just like being silly and have it making it as fun as we could um and then the manager came over to him and he was like look i am really sorry so you can stay on it for free on the next boat tour and go outside and i was like great yes we had three hours of um oh brilliant moseco on this boat and then we got to go outside afterwards and then it was at night oh it was great yeah it was really really nice that was lovely of them to do that to be fair yeah well done it's always good to yeah so would

yeah exactly you don't ask you don't get so would recommend that if somebody was going to Budapest, however, you might end up with a shit seat, which, you know, is a little bit naft. But anyway, that was that. But yeah, just so nice to just go and have fun and, like, laugh and be silly and not have to worry about getting up the next day with the girls and just have to think about myself, to be honest, was quite nice. Yeah, I bet. It was so funny because Andy said to me, was like, oh, did you miss me? And the girls and I was like, no, like, I was fine. Like, I knew they were in safe hands so it wasn't like we're because of that and I was obviously kept checking on them and seeing how they were doing and stuff like that but it was just nice to be me and just

go away and yeah it's been so intense obviously while we've been home in terms of parenting full time like really full time um without having much help alongside that like my mom and dad have been good obviously as and where and like his mom and dad as well but it is predominantly you know yeah on us um which is expected there are kids but it is just very hard when there's two of them and they're twins yeah 18 months old like they are they're just nuts like me and jess were talking about this a little bit just before we um started recording and like jess knows a few kids at the same age or or when they were that age for example and you'd said hadn't you that like a lot of kids are a lot calmer and they do just

sit and like watch something or just a bit more placid and basically I have one placid child and one non placid child and my placid child is starting to get influenced by my nonplacid child River is just sorry we're now labelling them yeah we're labelling them that's all right but like River has just got I'd say more of your personality yeah and she's she's like so great and confident but like on like we went and met in Jamira Islands for a coffee or like when I was in Dubai and like she did not stop where Blake was sitting there and she was just eating her snacks and I was thinking if you had a child like Blake yeah you could literally go for lunch every day you could get your nails done

and Blake could sit next to you like and you would just be fine and then obviously River but I guess that's life of having kids and a lot of people do say like you know you'll always have a child one's always going to be like the more placid and whatever but no like I do think it's a lot and also I was saying to you like you know for people you know you're obviously home but like you know a lot of people would have their kids in nursery a couple of days a week or you know whatever it is so it's just a bit more constant while you're home which is different to what you have in Dubai so it's um yeah I can see how it can feel a little bit more intense in that way Yeah, and like you're just basically just trying to entertain them constantly

because they're not entertained easily. Like they're not, they won't be entertained by staying at home. Like I have to get them out of the house. I think that's a Dubai child thing though. Yeah, I think this as well. I did think this because I thought, but again, I am comparing it to kids that are really placid. But like a lot of my friends' kids and like my sister with her little girl,

like they will stay at home for like the morning type thing. Whereas we literally, I was on a walk at half seven, like a 45 minute walk. That's like, I think most kids in Dubai, there's just so much available to them. It's sort of like up and out. Yeah, true. Or the parks or the facilities. There's just so much like available to like, and I know they're only like still babies, but that's all they've known where like, you know, I think about when I was growing up,

you know, there was many days in the school. holidays where you just sort of had to occupy yourself you know so i think this as well because i remember that as well like i can remember feeling bored do you know what i mean like i remember being like okay what do i do now and like you know i'd color in or i'd do things like that but that's obviously at an age where you're a bit older whereas like at that age when they're smaller i wonder like what did we do but my mom and dad used to take us to because we never lived near my grandparents from the age of four we moved to Manchester and then we never lived near any like relatives

so my mum and dad literally had to do everything themselves and they would drive us to Cornwall for like a week and drop us off there and then we go... That's what I did. Did they? Yeah, we had like parents at the seaside and we got dropped off for like a week. Yeah. And yeah, they would drop us off for a week and then they come and join us for a week.

Yeah, I also, I'll be honest if you said and like, you know, some people may agree or disagree. I do think sometimes playing with babies can be a little bit boring. I don't mean that in a horrible way. And that's not me being a non-mother and childless woman. But I love children. I love babies. Sam was nodding, by the way.

She was, you know. I'm like, yes. Yeah. But like it's, I don't know, the time, like my niece now is 13. And like I have an unbelievable conversation with her. And also the little girls in the family. like I can we go and to Costa and talk about life and you know what's going at school and there's like this really sort of lovely dynamic and we can be really playful but sort of when

they're really little you know sometimes like a floor time and playing you know I've done that all with my sister's kids after about half an hour I'm like right someone else come on take over but I guess when you're a parent yeah there's no yeah exactly I do think like you know there is a lot to say about that and I zone out this is really bad like maybe this is what I'm going to be like as a parent

but like I look after my sister's kids a lot when I'm home and you know I've got about 10 things in my diary over the next two weeks for them but I'll go to the park and obviously I take them and this is like more the little boys or whatever

I zone out a lot when I go to the park because I feel like I know they're safe to some degree I do freak out sometimes when they're climbing stuff but I can kind of just like zone out because I find it so overstimulating like there's things like that do you know what I'm

exactly the same yeah I don't know what I'd be like in that sense I'm definitely somebody who gets overstimulated very easily and like I find it really hard that's something that I've definitely struggled with while I've been back is like the girls can be like screaming for example or like you know fighting or whatever it is and then someone will start asking asking me a question of like oh my god oh by the way i've done this or da-da-da-da and i'm just like i cannot listen to you on top of this like this is already so intense for me and i'm really struggling to like calm my own nervous system but then on top of that for somebody to be like what do you want for tea tonight or you know obviously whoever's speaking to me is only being kind

but i find it really really hard to not like be like please be quiet because this is already too much for me to deal with. My sister's like that. When we're around to her house, there's too much noise. Someone asks her a question. She just sort of freezes. Yeah.

And she's just like, I can't deal with this and just will sort of walk away. And you're like, but I get it. Like, because you're right. It's your nervous system. And yeah, you know, it's so fascinating like how it, you know,

responds and, you know, I only sort of have tiny glimmers of it as an auntie. but you know I think it's yeah motherhood is a crazy thing so full on I cook them lunch this afternoon and like I don't really cook to be honest like Andy does a lot of it he's really good at it and I just thought no I'll cook like this afternoon and to be honest it's quite nice just having 20 minutes to myself as well cooking while they were playing with them and um they cut them a really nice lunch and they literally got it and just threw it on the floor yeah they were like no no throwing it and I was like

oh my god not only did they throw it on the floor river threw it down me as well you can see i'm pretty filthy um and i just looked at andy and he was like there's nothing more disheartening is there like when you've cooked them a meal and then they just hate like they don't even like it but they would have loved it the day before or something yeah oh my god it's infuriating and it's like i don't want them to grow up on a diet of like wheatibics do you know what i mean so i'm like chicken nuggets yeah oh just so annoying but yeah So, yeah, well, that is what's been going on with me, really. But I am also going away again, which is why we're pre-recording it.

So I've got the wedding now for my friend, whose hundred was. So I'm going away on Monday. Nice. Which is really nice. So I'm away for four nights that time. And that's you and Andy together. Yeah, that's me and Andy together. So that will be lovely.

Really looking forward to that. Yeah, so hopefully, I think, again, I think I'll feel fine because I know that with my mum and dad and Andy's mom and dad. so they'll be fine um but yeah i just really hope that they're good for them they will they're just at that age it's just yeah it's just a difficult age i think that is and because one's walking and one's not it's quite hard as well because you like go into a park for example and carrying one and the other one's walking and um this is like a boring like mum thing but blake will not i've i don't know if i said this last week will not wear socks oh did i say this just wants to be

freak no it's just it's our own our own fault we just never even thought about it but because obviously in Dubai she doesn't have to wear socks because it's so warm all the time she's never really worn socks other than go into like a soft play and she'll put them on for a soft play because she's distracted and whatever but here she needs them on to go for a walk because it's cold and she is kicking off about these socks and like screaming about them it's honestly ridiculous but she's the one that's not walking so I'm carrying her um when we're in parks and stuff and she's throwing these socks off anyway you can get these things called sock on and it's like something that you put over their socks to make their socks stay on so they can't pull them off

um so far so good let's see and she's still kicking off when we put them on but um if not tights and a baby grow i've done that i did the tights and i should stupidly what I should have done is put her in a baby grow like you said and fastened it over. Yeah. I didn't and she pulled the tights off. Well, there we go. If it's a bit fresh and she needs, what's an option? Oh, bless her.

So yeah, that's what I've been up to. Bless her. But happy to be recording, having this little bit of time to myself, to be honest. Absolutely, my girl. 100%. So we got asked a question, I think it was over a couple of weeks ago now, I think. And I have been saving this question because it's a big question that I felt like deserved more of a episode kind of dedicated to it rather than just one of our usual

questions that we answer. I'm just going to get it up now so I've got exactly what was said. So the question was, would love to hear you both chat about confidence with running your own businesses. Now, I felt like this was such a huge question and a topic, to be honest, because confidence obviously is needed when doing you know running your own business etc but it's something that we also for me and Jess both deal with very differently and have you know managed and grown differently with it and so I thought that it would be a really good topic to chat about

basically today yeah I'm really excited about this one and I was sort of really reflecting on it because obviously there's a perception of like us having confidence and things and you know it really sort of made me think about it because there's so much that goes into building confidence and like I was saying to Sam you know because I then made maybe an assumption on Sam that you were kind of always built as confident but you were like no like yeah I've also had to learn this confidence you know so it's really interesting when you sort of think about it So I guess from my perspective when I sort of was really delving into this and how confidence has appeared.

So if you saw me probably about, I don't know, seven years ago at the insurance company and they asked me to do an introduction to like a company-wide event and I had to introduce someone to the like panel. Oh my God. It was like the worst thing ever. I said the wrong name. I went bright red. It was just terrible.

and to sort of move forward in time to now where basically you can't shut me up and at any opportunity to talk about spirituality and intuition and stuff. And I think what I realized sort of throughout my working career, you know, is you're confident at what you know. And yeah, that's the simple as it goes. So I think, you know, I do come across as confident.

when it comes to spirituality and talking about these things because I dedicate my life to this and to learn about it and it's something that I will openly share. But if you ask me to really delve deep into like, I'll be honest, world events and like the political climate, I would not be confident. I would be like, I actually am not an expert in this and, you know, I need to really think about that and I wouldn't be very confident. So, you know, I do think that it's easy to like presume confidence of someone that actually it's just a small singular part of their life.

Do you know what I mean? 100%. I completely agree with you. And I think that say, for example, if you're confident with a skill that you have but you want to maybe like, you know, develop it into something else and that's where maybe then you're lacking confidence, it's learning more. that area that you feel like you're lacking confidence in. So for example, for me, obviously I was a hairdresser

and I worked so hard to be a good hairdresser. Like I did everything I could to be a good hairdresser in any way. And then when it came to opening up a business, I suppose the confidence to do that probably came from the fact that I did a lot of work independent anyway. So I had confidence in a sense that I was doing that and that was doing well. I do believe that I have always had a natural flare of confidence. I do think there has definitely been a natural flower of confidence. I've been very lucky that my parents have always supported me

in anything that I've done. Same with Andy. And that definitely makes you, gives you that drive to be able to, you know, do things. But then I think what I then had to do in terms of then opening the business is you just kind of have to think of each step as it comes to you and you just learn as you go and that's how you get confident. I had no idea when I opened up a salon how to pay staff. I had no idea how to do a visa, how to do all these different things. but I learn as I went and now if I was going to speak about it I'd speak about it confidently the same as what you're saying so yeah I think you I personally believe that yes you can have a little bit of natural confidence but I really believe that confidence is is learn over time

and for me a big part of that is always being open to learning and that whether that be from other people around you i think you can learn something from everyone around you and being open to that um books podcasts i've spoken about that a million times before on here but like my mind is a sponge like to the point where i will literally take any bit of time that i can to learn so even just before we jumped on here i was making myself a bit of something to eat and at that time I'm listening to a podcast about somebody who set up a business and how it went because

and I learned something in that like 20 minutes of a part of a podcast that I listen to and something that I'll take on board so I think you really have to be a sponge to information to be able to grow confidence that's from a business perspective anyway I think that's really insightful because for me

you know I love podcasts and stuff but I think like having like really good friends that are really supportive. So, like, you know, I've got a really small sort of group that are all actually kind of individual and you're all different ways and my sister's one of them, that like when I have like an idea or there's sort of something, you know, that I want to do, and I'll be honest with you, if someone's like, that sounds good, I'm like, all right, I'll do it. Like, I find that sometimes that's all it takes for me is like one person to believe.

And I think then what I realized is, like, obviously you have just got to believe yourself. But it's funny because I was thinking about when I started out my psychic business, you know, it's almost five years ago now that I set that up. So I was like 26 when I, I think, yeah, around that age. I was completely winging it. I'll be really honest with you. I think I've probably said that before. But, like, I didn't have a bloody clue what I was doing.

doing and and it was a real fake it till you make it moment and I know not everyone believes that's a good method but you know what it worked for me and it wasn't I was faking being psychic to clarify it was more just the fact that I was like I don't know there was just this feeling of I feel completely out of my depth I'm probably going to fail like these were the voices in my head but you know I'm just going to give it a go like there was kind of this momentum. But leading up to that thought process, there were months and months, I'd say years of dreaming and wishing and thinking about doing this. So it wasn't like, you know, I woke up one day and just was, you know, feeling really ready. Like, it was this constant,

like, oh, one day, I wish, oh, I'd love to do this. And so many clients come to me and say, you know, oh, I would love to do that. Or, you know, I was the same. I didn't actually think I would ever do it, but I definitely sort of was a little bit impulsive and I would say that really worked for me when I sort of did that. But like I doubt myself a lot. So when it comes to my confidence, you know, it's actually something I'm still really working on because I put a lot of pressure on myself. I'm constantly wanting to improve my business.

So like those of you that work with me, you know, see the evolution of what's gone on and there is a pressure that I put on myself that like to do more to give more to like you know and sometimes I wonder is that because of a lack of confidence that I feel insecure so I should do more is it confident because I feel brave I don't know probably a bit of both yeah like so it's kind of like you know sort of when I think about all these things but you know I guess it motivates me somehow to do this. I've always been ambitious.

I will say that. Even from my days in corporate, I was always going for interviews internally. I saw a job. I was like, I can do that. Like, I did have a form of self-belief that I was capable. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah, absolutely. And I was the same, to be fair. Like I'd say, and that's where I think I have been very lucky with my upbringing, because I think that's where that came from um but it's funny when you said about the friends around you and things like that when i think back to when i was setting up the salon i didn't really have that so i think that's why i did

have to read all the books do all the podcasts like i've always had amazing friends um but never ones that i would have that conversation with of like i'm going to set up this business and this is how i wanted to look and did i never really sat and like spoke about the ins and outs of business with friends or that probably until i properly met you and um and I have a few, a handful of them who I would speak to about things like that but very rarely even now to be honest like I spoke to funnily enough

I met up with two friends not like just last week and we really were chatting they were asking about the salon and business and I was explaining to them all these different things and you could see their heads like almost going to fall off because they were just like oh my God I can't believe that that is what it takes or what

is involved or it obviously gave them quite an insight but I think if you don't have that support that that you know those people around you then you do have to lean on the other resources that are available to you um to build your confidence and I think with the people I've got in my life now I didn't have at the beginning so like that kind of came with time but I think you know if you are someone who's wanting to you know sort of start something or is thinking that this is more the path you want to take in life I do think talk to the right people

because there's also people, many people that told me, what on earth you doing? Yeah. Like, I had a lot of that, you know, and other people's fears, isn't it? Well, it can get in your head because they just think, oh my God, how could you possibly do that? Yeah. I also think a big part of it is for me doing whatever I've done,

I never really had anything to lose other than financial. I was only ever going to lose money. And it was a case of, well, if I lose money, I can make it again like so I think that always helped me with the confidence in terms of making those risks um whereas now I would probably be a lot more cautious because my decisions affects my family now so that would that would definitely change my decision making um but I think going back to like where confidence like starts from I think that um I do believe that you can be born with a certain amount of confidence and you can definitely have people in your life that

might be chipping away at it so that's very important to be aware of um because that can be extremely damaging um and then looking at the areas of your life that make you really happy in leaning into them more because by doing that you will then gain confidence as well um if you're doing things that you love and that you enjoy, you're ultimately going to radiate that. Yeah. I definitely think that. And I was sort of reflecting with this. I also think for me there was a lot of self-trust that had to be built with confidence.

So like self-trust to know when to do something and when not to do something, which was so much about my intuition. So like, you know, I'm quite comfortable to take time away to build something new. you know I would say if something doesn't work I'm you know when I think about the early days you know people wouldn't sign up to stuff you know and you know I was always booked out with readings but if I wanted to do an event you know maybe one person then I'd cancel it or you know there was a time do you remember Sam a couple of years ago I was trying to do loads of full moon workshops and just no one would sign up and I loved them and I was like this is so shit because I love this um but like it is what it is and then I just kind of got over it and then did something else so like I think I was quite comfortable with failures as well yeah I think you've got to be responsible for that and like you've got to just keep trying and keep putting the work in even if it doesn't work out like I did a balliage master class once when I came back um good few years ago now like I don't

know four years ago maybe and the same kind of thing like I think I had my maybe five, maximum five people on it. I can't actually remember now, but around that. And I was expecting this to do way better than what it had. And I felt so disheartened by that. But I still did it. I still turned up and I still delivered it as though I would have if there was 100 people in that room.

Not that was ever expecting to get 100 people in that room. But you want that though. Let's be honest. Yeah, yeah, of like. Yeah, but like I still delivered it the same way because you have got to be responsive. as well like relating this as well because obviously the question was about confidence within business you have got to like you said be comfortable with failing and realize that that doesn't

really mean that doesn't mean anything about you personally but also have a bit of self-reflection and look like what could I have done differently could I have actually pushed that a bit more or could I have actually tried a bit harder or you know it is being responsible as well and we're not talking about being really hard on yourself but being real as well yeah yeah because i think like when i think back i think this is about two years ago i was home for the summer and like i didn't have any passive income so i was just like you know readings are quiet over the summer that's fine and then i was like well these workshops have got to work like this will be a form of income for me you know and i love it and it's you know and i just i was so paid off about it and

you know and I sort of was a bit you know frustrated but then after that summer I then set up the psychic circle and then I built different things in the psychic circle because then I started to realize what works for me and what works for my audience my clients and stuff like that so I think you know I see it with so many coaches especially and you know where you know you sort of start something and maybe you don't get the take up you want and then you know I get it it's so disheartening and I understand that but I do think it's like how can you find your thing and it's trial and error and I guess you only I know this is so cliche but you don't you do won't only really see the successes um you know I had you know something even a couple of probably about a month

ago that was really disheartening for me in my business and you know I was really really upset. I was voice-noting Sam about it. I was really in my head. I had a week where I felt like, shit, I'll be honest. Like, you know, and I just felt so upset and in my head about it. And then once I sort of was real with myself, I was able to sort of look at it practically and break it down and then implement to avoid that going forward. Do you know what I mean? So like, I do think that like you kind of have to get it wrong to get it right and that's what is the confidence to continue through those things. So I would say that's a big thing. So I guess what you will find with your confidence and business is, you know, shadow work. You're going to have to deal with

rejection. You're going to have to deal with failure. You're going to get things wrong. You're going to have triggers. Things are going to show up and, you know, you have to really watch that. And it's actually a huge self-development journey I think the entrepreneurial life yeah definitely there's a quote that I have in my phone that I just got up because I keep it in my phone anyway and it says nobody is thinking about you you aren't afraid of failure you're afraid of what other people will think of you if you fail well no one is thinking about you they're too busy thinking about themselves so go and do the damn thing and it's it's so true because I think that again with the confidence, we're so worried about what other people are thinking of us. No one cares. Like,

did anybody, I don't think they did, but again, it doesn't, it hasn't affected me if they did, but did anybody think like, oh, she only got a few people on that masterclass? No. No. Yeah. Or people should be thinking like, wow, look at her, good for her going home and on a holiday, doing a bit of work and, you know, trying to do something different. Like, that's quite aspirational to look at. Like, that's what I would think. And if somebody doesn't, I don't care. Yeah. And I think that's it, you know, like, you know, when I came out as a psychic,

it was like the biggest, like, triggering thing ever. I felt like an absolute plonker. Like, Jess, who's she? Well, she consulted dead people. Like, it was a bit random, you know. But, like, in that moment, I just sort of trusted spirit. And I will say that, like, and maybe this is a form of escapism, but it really works for me.

I just talk to spirit so much. with this stuff and I meditate on it you know I was talking to Sam before the call saying there was some bits with business logistically like boring stuff wasn't sorting out so I sat and meditated like I sat with spirit and was like what is this showing me you know what is this about and then I got the answers and it all got sorted so like you know you've got to find your way to like self-souve and so for me it is you know meditating it's going for a walk it's you know maybe talking to the friends that I really value about this stuff. You know, for other people it might be, you know, a business coach for others.

I don't know, but, you know, there's so many ways. Like, what do you think it is for you to self-soove in these moments? Self-sooth for me is definitely going to like Pilates and going for a walk. That's my self-sooth. I'm listening to a podcast. Like that's my self-sooth, I would say. when I find things a bit overwhelming or triggering or anything like that

that would be my self-soothed definitely and I think yeah I feel like you have just got to really think about like you said like what makes you tick and what makes you happy and do more of that to be able to help build the confidence one thing that I was also just thinking of randomly then is you have to kind of realise

like look back at yourself seven years ago for example and if seven years ago you could see you now they'd be like wow look at how much she's grown look at how much she's done like you have grown in confidence but even if you don't think you have and

it could be for example you could be really good at Pilates go and do a beginner's class you'll remind yourself oh wow I've come really far I've done really well you know and that will build your confidence with Pilates so it's kind of a similar thing in any other area do you know what to mean

you go and put yourself back somewhere and just to help build that confidence again like oh actually no I have done really well I am doing well and I think that that's also something that you could always do um yeah definitely I always um read some of my old journals from quite a few years ago and actually I know I'm back up my mom and dads I've got some journals from when I started my business you know so like I like to look back at those things but also what I will say and I think this is maybe just more sort of about women and leaders and confidence. Like it can quite quickly be sort of like, oh, they've got an ego or they're full of themselves.

Or they think a lot of themselves. So like we've also been sort of told to not be confident leaders. And I think we're still working it out as women, how to be confident leaders in a way that suits us because what we've seen as sort of confident leaders is like a very masculine you know white man in a corporate or whatever and they're all the same very like politician where actually what I found with being confident in my business was basically not following that rule book and I built my own and I have values and I have morals and they're very very clear to me what they are and as long as I align with that in how my business is I'm confident that I'm

showing up in a way that is aligned with me and I think that's the biggest takeaway that you can take from this not my takeaway but just from my perspective you know find out what is yours what is important to you what are your values what are your morals and if you can keep with that you'll always feel confident you know yeah definitely I also think like a big part of it is like yeah you can show up and be confident and be clear in exactly who you are or what it is that you're trying to get across, for me, a big part of it is just staying humble. Yeah, and I think, you know, just stay humble,

stay true to who you are, like what Jess has said. And that kind of always brings you back. You know, stop and I think like you can get carried away, you can, you can be the biggest, loudest version of yourself and shout it from the rooftops, how you're feeling or et cetera, but it's always just being mindful of you 10 years ago. reading that post you know and how that made that version of you feel or you know and i think that is a big part of it as well um and i i believe that's how you kind of balance the whole

ego versus like i don't know what the other word would be to that but i suppose not showing up too much ego driven yeah and i think that like also it's just unfamiliar well we're getting better in society now with female leaders but it's still triggering for people you know so we feel that, you know, we will, you know, I know there'll be people that will think certain things of me and that's okay because that's just societal projections, you know. It's a reflection of them. It's not a reflection of you. Yeah, but you sort of have to get comfortable of that. Another thing I was going to say was, um, I wasn't very smart at school.

Like I am really sort of struggled at school. I wouldn't say I was academic at all. Um, and like I had a boss in my corporate job that told me I was really bad at writing. And yeah, and have voices in my head still to this day. It really, she really made me feel like really thick. And I really question myself with my writing and my communication because I don't necessarily use big words or, you know, whatever. And, you know, you do have those things that still linger. And, you know, I've sort of, there is still part of me that believes her.

but that's just life and it you've got work through it but there's also a part of me that's like you know what if they talk the stuff that I learn and I'm doing now at school I'd be bloody brilliant I'd be getting all-a-stars I just wasn't very good at fractions and writing essays you know like so I do think for me that I just always felt a little bit dumb

and I felt relief when I started learning about all this like in a more sort of like you know formal way because I actually knew the answers. Like, I was in my astrology class and I cried in my first class and the teacher was like, you're okay. And I was like, I just feel relief that I know what you're talking about.

And, you know, you just got to be in the right room and then you'll feel really good, you know. So, because if I carried on in that way and, you know, I was trying to be really like forcing to be really intellectual and I would just feel like crap. Do you know what I mean? Absolutely. Yeah, no, I completely agree with you.

I think I was very much the same actually when I went to hairdresser in college. All of a sudden I was like, ah, okay, these feel like my people. This feels like my place. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that like, you know, so if you're lacking confidence, are you in the right place or, you know,

because I know I felt very, you know, not confident at all in places where it just wasn't for me. Like there was an exam in insurance and it's the most basic exam you can do. I failed it. Three times. times, like, no one failed it. And I was just like, I don't understand insurance.

Like, I know I'm working in it. But there was just all these stuff. And I think, oh, God, like, you know, insurance was not meant for me, people. I'm sure you can all validate that. But, like, you know, a lot of it as well, like, when you are laying this to a business is remembering that you don't need to be the best at every single area of your business. there is a reason why you outsource. You know, there's a reason why I have a manager.

There's a reason why I have a PRO who does my visas and stuff. There's a reason why I have an accountant. There's a reason why I have a receptionist. Like, I outsource a lot because the area that I'm really good at is where I need to spend my time. And there is no need for me to spend my time across the other areas. I have a general understanding of all of those areas, but that's as far as it goes. And I think that don't worry yourself too much. if you feel like you're trying to learn everything and what's that thing?

A master of one or a jack of all trades or something like that. You want to just be the master in your area and be clear on that and stop letting all the other areas upset you that you're not, you know, understanding, I would say. I hear you, babes. I hear you. Well, I love that. I feel like that was nice to talk about. It's actually quite nice to reflect and think about things in that way because he's a bit mad, really.

I find it really funny that this is my life, by the way. Like, honestly. I said, a friend said to me the other day, they were like, what, you're back for seven weeks? And I was like, yeah. And then I was like, oh, yeah, that's a long time. Yeah. It's just so weird. Yeah.

Like, I never, ever had any desire to be like entrepreneurial and have a business. And honestly, I had absolutely no desire to live this life. I'm very grateful for it. And I'm not taking it for granted. but I do think I just surrendered in a honesty to like what was there and like I think I sort of detached a lot but it is mad how these things can happen because I met a colleague that I worked with at my old job the other week in Dubai and I was back, me had dinner and she was just like I can't believe like what you've done like and we were both like proper chuckling about it was so funny because it was like it is so round. But I think like I think for most people that was not random, but at a time it felt random, like it is a little bit like fuck it. Like press the fuck it button. Yeah. Because honestly, I think since I've pressed that button, my life has become way more interesting and way more fulfilling. And I think that was probably the scariest button to ever press was the first time. I took a risk. Nothing has ever, ever felt as scary as when I started. I put that first post on Instagram. I can guarantee you.

Everything else has felt much easier. Yeah, it's so true. Because, like, so for me, like, it would be then moving to Dubai, opening a salon, and then the second shop after that. But like you say, each time you have the confidence of the life skills that you've made, each time you're pressing that button, that it doesn't feel as big next time. And it's not as overwhelming.

It's not as scary as what you might feel like it would be. Yeah. because you've got knowledge and time behind you when doing it. So just get the first one out of the way and then the risks get easier. Absolutely. And if you fail, you fail, who cares? That's why I bet. Learn and you'll do something else.

It was because you were meant to. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Love it, babes. Oh, well, I've loved that chat. Thank you all for listening for this week's episode. We'll be back again in a couple of weeks' time. And please send in your questions.

We actually got a question through while we're on this call then. I've not opened it, but yeah, it just pops up to me. But please send in your questions for our next week's episode. And especially if you like this type of episode with a specific topic, send something in like that as well because we love to do that as well. And if you want to get us on Instagram, I am at Samanthagreen.com. She is Jessica Marie, underscore holistic. And we are spiritually speaking underscore podcast.

Amazing. Well, thanks for listening, guys. And yeah, have a good couple of weeks. Lots of love. Enjoy. Bye. Bye.