Spiritually Speaking with Jessica & Samantha - Mother-in-Laws, Curses, and Relationship Real Talk

Episode Date: May 9, 2025

This week on Spiritually Speaking, we’re diving deep into the questions you sent in – and wow, you didn’t hold back. From navigating tricky relationships with mother-in-laws, to feeling like you’ve been carrying a lifetime of bad luck, to figuring out where you really stand in love — we’re covering it all. As always, we’re bringing you a mix of straight-talking advice and soulful perspective to help you find clarity, healing, and a little bit of magic along the way. Tune in for some real talk and a whole lot of heart.

Hello and welcome back to Spoochly speaking with me Sam and with me Jess. Welcome back. Welcome back. We are back again and we are almost gonna be back together in person. Exactly next episode will be recording real life me and you babes be lovely. Yeah this is a little bit of a pre-record but we are gonna see each other this weekend. We are, which is really nice. I know, I actually can't believe that. It's gone by so fast. This will come out when I'm midway through my Dubai trip,

but we're recording this just before I arrive because it's gonna be a busy time. You have a very busy schedule coming up, don't you? I do. So by the way, that was amazing. So Jess released an extra day of readings and I saw it on her Instagram story and then the next story was like, gone, all gone.

I was like, whoa. Yeah, honestly. Did I miss something? Honestly, like I actually got a bit emotional last night about it. I don't often get like that anymore with work as much because I don't know, I just kind of, don't know, maybe I just become normal in a way that life,

you know, I don't have to always- It'd be that in demand. Yeah, yeah, not even being in demand, but I think I've always like attracted clients, like I've been very lucky. And I forget in these moments like, oh, like all this hard work when I was in Dubai, building all of this.

Like, yeah, so I basically, they manage all my bookings and then a client messaged me like, oh my God, you're booked out. Like I can't get in. I was like, what? So then I messaged them and was like, am I booked out? They're like, yeah. And that was 40 clients, 40 sessions. And so I was like, bloody hell, didn't expect that.

So then I've added on an extra day and then yeah, got booked out within about three hours. Amazing. So yeah, thanks. You should be really proud of yourself. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of hard work has led to that.

So yeah, it's brilliant, really, really good. I'm mentally preparing myself for it. Can I just share with you? Because I'm putting the energy out there. So I was reflecting because when I was working, probably about 18 months ago, I used to do about 25 readings a week sometimes, which is a lot. Okay. Yeah, that is quite a lot. Like, yeah, yeah. And that was all I did. So I'm now in a bit of a different space with my business where

you know, I'm creating more, I have more academies, more teaching. So I'm not always in the nitty gritty of the readings. So two weeks of it feels like quite a lot, but I'm also really excited about it. So basically I've got like no social plans. I'm seeing you just before I start work. There's my little window. And I'm just going for it. I'm just gonna be in complete service to Spirit for two weeks. So like, I feel really grateful for the life I have.

I have a lot of freedom, but these two weeks is more about me just passing on my messages, working with spirit. And I'm really looking forward to that. So I'm going to have like my little rituals in the morning that I've been doing. I'm going to meal prep. I've already planned my lunches because I'm a bit obsessed with tuna at the moment. I love tuna. Honestly, it was, what's that girl? She's from Essex, the PT, Courtney Black, is it? Is that her name?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She does like little inspo and it was like this tuna. So you have tuna, natural yogurt, a bit of mayo, onion, jalapenos, a bit of Sriracha sauce, mix it together. It's lovely. Yeah, put it in the fridge and then like get a few spoonfuls out

with like a bagel or whatever. So very excited for that. So if I smell a bit fishy, don't judge me, get me through the day. And I've booked in for like healing sessions for myself in between. And I've got like a few days off here and there. So I'm really excited to just see everyone

get into the energy and I'm putting the intention out there of it's going to be a very successful and energizing trip. I think it's nice that now like you know that you can just kind of pop back here and the work is there for you. Like yeah it's not I think that's incredible and it's nice for me because it makes me think that you'll always come back. Yeah, well it is nice because it still feels like a home, you know? Yeah. And it's so familiar. And at the center I work at now, they're like really lovely.

They sort of sort everything for me. So that makes my life much easier. Like I don't have to deal with my bookings. So like- Yeah, that's a huge way. It's just a no brainer for me to come back. And I've got lovely friends like you to see, do you know what I mean? So it's good.

But yeah, we'll see what happens. Very excited. Very hot. I know. And do you know what? I really don't actually have that many clothes now and I was thinking I've got a few pairs of jeans back in Dubai.

Cause I will be inside. You're not gonna be wearing them. Yeah, but I'm gonna be inside in like my little room. Fair, okay, well then maybe if it's got good AC, because to be fair, this room I'm in right now, my hands are actually really cold, but it is hot outside now. Like I don't think we're gonna be able to go for a walk

with the girls in the morning much longer. Really? Yeah, it's that hot. So yeah, we're like mid forties now in the day, so it is hot, hot. Oh,'s that hot. So yeah, we're like mid forties now in the day. So it is hot. Oh, that is hot. See like Thailand is sort of thirties, 31, 32. Yeah. It's a bit overcast. Like it's not unbearable at all, but it's just a different heat in Dubai. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it is. And like in the evenings now when I go for my walk, it's like warm.

Yeah. Like the air just still feels warm when you walk in. Yeah, here it cools down like last night. Or no, it was when I went out to watch Liverpool play football. As I was coming back, I was like, oh, it's cold in the evening here. Oh God. Yeah, I kind of missed that.

I love the Dubai winter. Dubai winter is literally like the best weather ever. It is so good. Really like a few weeks into the summer, but I'm like, no. I know. I know. Okay. I'll have to maybe get some last minute, like linen trousers. I haven't got any trousers. Yes. Because I feel like when I'm in this clinic is quite professional. So I don't want to, I just live in shorts all the time, but I feel like I should look a little bit more. Zara's got some really nice ones in at the moment. I had a little splurge there the other week. Yeah, they've got some good stuff in.

Nice, all right, maybe pop there. Yeah, so do that. Yeah, I had a little splurge there the other day. I was like, well, it's the salon's birthday. It's almost my birthday, so why not? Absolutely. What are you doing for your birthday, babes? So me and Andy are going on a stay-k without the babies.

Hey. I know, I can't wait. I'm so excited. When it was like coming up to my birthday, he was like, oh, what do you wanna do? And I always said, I'd rather do something than have like a gift. As much as, you know, one does love gifts, I was like,

I would rather do something. And he was like, what about if we go on a stay-k just us without the girls? And I was like, oh God, like that feels really weird. But then I was like, no, yeah, let's just do it. Like, yeah, he's amazing. I trust her with my life with the girls. So yeah, we're gonna go on a little stay-k

and I'm so excited. And this last weekend, I hate chirping on about this. I felt this is all I talk about but the girls have been really sick. But like way more sick than normal. Like it was another level to be honest. It was a little bit scary, I won't lie. But anyway, by the by,

it was a very hard weekend last weekend. And me and Andy just kept going next weekend, next weekend, next weekend. Because we've both been on this health kick as well. Like we've not had a drink for ages. We've not eaten any bad food. And we were like, we're really going to enjoy ourselves and just have like, I'm going to go and spot the champagne because I love champagne and I'm just going to live my best life. So yeah, I'm excited. That's this weekend. That sounds amazing, babes. Do you know where you're going? Yes, I do actually.

And I love surprises and I was happy to have a surprise. But then I was like, no, I actually want to know because. Oh, so we're going to Bab al-Sham. So we've been there before. Where's that? Is that the one in Oman? It's in the desert. Oh, no, it's in Dubai, but it's in the desert. So I've never been before, but it's it the desert. Oh, okay. No, it's in Dubai, but it's in the desert. So I've never been before, but it looks beautiful.

I think they've had a renovation or something, maybe not that long ago, because it looks gorgeous. I have seen it. So yeah, very excited about that. I have seen it on Instagram actually. There's someone I know who does retreats there, I think. Yeah, maybe it's quite a retreaty looking place. Love it.

So yeah, excited for that. So that's this weekend. Love it, babes. Love it. That's all I've got going on really at the moment. Like I say, oh, and I've just employed someone else, haven't I? I got a new hairdresser yesterday. So that's exciting. So she'll be starting end of this week, beginning of next. And then I'm also recruiting other staff. So busy, busy, busy. The empire is expanding. The empire is expanding. It is indeed.

It's growing, it's growing, it's growing. My little empire might expand soon. I'm looking into getting a PA. Someone to help me with content and like just the creative side. So I feel like I'm really creative, but I get really frustrated with having to like, yeah, just posting stuff and I just,

I can record the messages and the videos. So I'm looking out for like a sort of PA content creator. So if anybody knows of anyone and has any recommendations, feel free to. Oh, sorry. Oh, sorry. That's all right. Spoke over your wee glitch.

Sorry. Go on. I think, so people will always say to me, right? Like, oh, I don't know how you do everything. Like with a business, with everything else, you know. Delegate, that's how I do it. I delegate. I'm a bit scared.

So getting someone. No, it's the best. it. I delegate. I'm a bit scared. So getting someone, no, it's the best. No, I know. Having people that you can take those jobs away from you because the thing is like, nobody's meant to be amazing at everything. So like I have a receptionist, for example, for the salon, because that's her like area. She's amazing at that. She's so like methodical and great at that area. And then I have someone that I have a manager of the salon because she's great with all the staff

and the relations and that side of it. Then I have Cherry who then helps with the kids because she's amazing at being with kids all day and I'm not. So do you know what I mean? Like I think having a PA who that's her area, her zone, her focus is great because then it gives you the creative freedom to do the stuff that you're good at. Yeah, thank you. And I think also like, I just wanna, like there's so much I wanna do

that I just can't do on my own. Like I wanna build out the academy and I've got all this content and I just need someone to like, I record it and then they deal with it. You know, like I just feel like I haven't. Cause that's where I'm procrastinating now is like I've got everything ready. I just now need someone to help me build it. So yeah, so it's exciting. It's good.

It's very exciting. Yeah, really, really excited. Build that empire. Yeah. Just send me a message on Instagram. There's a couple, you've sent me a CV already. My friend's got something she knows as well. So we've got a few options. Shuffling with tarot cards, ready? I'm just keen to just get started. Right. So we've got a few questions here that we're going to answer. Again, just a little PSA. If you have a question that you want answered, send it in. Our link is in our bio on Instagram, which is at SpirituallySpeaking

underscore podcast. All the questions are 100% anonymous. We do not know who has sent them, unless obviously you tell us, but we don't know who they're from. And if the question box isn't big enough, don't worry, just put part one, part two, and you can send a few. We'll probably get a different way to do this soon,

a bit maybe a bit more advanced, I don't know. But for now, that's kind of the way that we're doing it. But you can send in questions about anything like friendships, relationships, work stuff, personal, whatever it is that you feel like you could do with a little helping hand on. And maybe you feel too shy to ask the people that know you, you can ask us, Jess has got a tarot cards,

we're gonna use them as well. And we just really wanna help all the people. I love personally for me, you know when like, say you're listening to another podcast that has a similar feature, and someone has written in a question that you're like, I could have written that myself. Yeah, yeah.

And it's so nice hearing the advice. So yeah, don't be shy, just ask away and we will help. Absolutely, babes. I love that. Good job. Yeah. Okay. Right. So first one, this is definitely more one for you than it is for me. I always believed I was cursed growing up and have never felt genuine happiness in life. Nothing ever seems to go right for me. When I finally start moving one step forward in life, something hits me and I end up going back five steps.

What can I do to release any curses? Well, blimey, that's quite a big one. Okay. Yeah. That's really tough if you're living with that energy and that belief about yourself. So first of all, like to this person, I've not even pulled my cards because this is probably a bit more guidance than necessarily a message. Um, where does this belief come from?

Who's told you that about you or what happened at some point in your life for you to believe that like you have a curse. Now this to me is just not just, but it is like a form of like severe anxiety that you have this fear and this worry that bad things are going to happen. Um, or you're cursed or you know, whatever it is you feel. Now let me tell you something and I am channeling your energy, you are absolutely not cursed. Like you are absolutely able to have a good life. But the energy that you've built around you will now lead you to believe that you are, okay? Energy is an incredibly powerful thing, just like manifesting and other stuff.

And because you have this belief, this will be projecting out now. So what that will do is it will project out. So it sounds like it's like you're making it yourself now, this energy. Yeah. So you're putting it out there thinking, well, you know, I only get one step forward and then it's three steps back. That's the story of my life. If you're going to continuously say that, then that will happen. And I

received some good advice a couple of weeks ago from a friend. And they were like, you know, maybe if you just don't talk about that thing, it won't become as much of a problem. You know, and I was like, yeah, and you know, it took me a couple of days to think about it. And I was like, yeah, actually, like, we can sort of like, marinate our energy with negative stuff. Absolutely. And I think we have to make a choice. So to the person listening who submitted this, I would definitely get some help with hypnotherapy or going into meditation. And basically what I would do in the meditation is, is put an

intention and say, please show me or take me back to the time where I first ever felt that I was cursed and allow yourself to see when it was, maybe you're a kid, maybe you're a teenager, maybe it was something your mom said and like try and go there and untangle it if you can. I would also journal on it. To sort of understand like, where this beliefs come from. I also would do a ritual where after you've wrote that stuff down, you burn it and release it so that there's like a significant sort of energy exchange of burning

to just sort of for you in your mind to know that you've released it and then the next step is to be responsible and accountable to change your faults. Now that will be difficult because when your faults are programmed in a way that this one is, you will have to catch yourself and say, no that's not true. And I will do it sometimes, you know, I'll look at myself or I'll think I'm not good enough and then I go, no you're not telling yourself the truth, You are. And then I will change it to something positive. Now it sounds simple, but actually it's very effective and you've let this become a habit. So please take responsibility and work with your thoughts in that way. Me and Sam have been listening to the Gabby Bernstein book, Super Attractor. I don't know what her Trust the Universe looks

like, but I imagine it's quite similar. I would maybe sort of read or have the audios of that sort of information because she tells you how to work with energy a bit more, how to be protected. But I just think you're on the slightly negative side of what spirituality can bring and you're not cursed and you can change it. So it's a big waffle, but I just don't like the thought of someone thinking that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I completely agree. And I think that energy manifests, like words have power, thoughts have power, like, and you have to kind of it takes discipline to be able to it. It

takes discipline to be able to firstly, you've you've recognized it. But then it does take discipline to be like, I'm not going to think that way, or I'm not going to be that way. Like, it's not easy, like you said. Yeah. But it takes practice and it's maybe for you what you need to do is just start by in the morning saying three nice things to yourself. Yeah. And even go on your voice note on your phone

and record it and play it back to yourself. Because the more you hear that, the more you're gonna believe it. I am not cursed. I am a positive thinker. And think of some different affirmations that you can say to yourself each day to just start to help make you feel better. Because I think that, yeah, you've kind of got into a bad pattern maybe of feeling a certain way and that is gonna continue to manifest unfortunately. And that's what happens with spirituality

and this is the shadow of it. But it's the same with religion as well, where like there's this line of good and bad. And like, if you commit like a sin, you know, you live your life in shame. It's the same with like the curse element. Like I don't believe in curses. I don't think they're real. But what I do believe is some people can put like a bad energy on you. Right. So I experienced like a couple of years ago,

there was someone that, that I definitely heard. I definitely hurt. It wasn't intentional. It was just one of these situations. And they were just angry at me. And the energy they were constantly putting on me felt like a psychic attack, where basically it's just like, they're just so angry, or there's hate or whatever it is, it's just at you. Okay. Now that is a way that energy comes through and then, you know, it's my job to not receive it. Okay. Now I did and it consumed me for quite a long time. Um, and I had to spend a lot of time kind of sending it back. So like things can happen, but it's all manmade. Like that person was upset with me, so they sent that to me and they would have done that completely unintentionally. It was just how they were feeling. It wasn't

like they made a spell. They might have done, but I doubt it. And there was just an emotion at me and I received it. Just like you can have an emotional or a thought about yourself and then you receive it. So when we think about this word of curse or black magic or you know whatever we want to call it, it's actually just faults and what we're projecting out and that's why when you become more mindful you're able to change it. It's just like people say, you know, a prayer is the same as a spell, you know, a prayer is the same as intention. Like it's all different words for the same thing. So yeah, if, you know, if you are struggling to this person, like please, please message me because I don't really want you living

with that in all honesty, because it just doesn't need to be. So yeah, hopefully this answers it. But if you have any more questions, just please send me a message. Yeah. No, I think that's good. Yeah. So our next one. I'm currently setting up my own business and was planning to leave my current job very soon. However, I've now been offered a huge role working with someone that I really respect. It's literally my dream role in my current career space. So I'm torn between my own business, staying or doing both. Okay. What do you think? Oh, it depends because from what I would say is where when I'm reading this,

I'm just thinking, when you say you're setting up your own business, is what you're setting up your own business in something that you are as passionate about as the other thing? Because when you've said, I've been offered a huge role working with someone that I really respect and it's my dream role,

I think that that is probably what stands out to me is like you're setting up your own business, but is your own business in what is your dream? Yeah. Or is it something different? And it's fine if it is something different, but I think it's probably thinking about what it is that you really want now

because maybe the own business would be something that would set you up more for the future, but the dream role is something that's more appealing to you now. Yeah, I get you. I don't know. It's a really hard one, that, really hard. Because I think when you set up your own business,

it's obviously, it's so challenging, and there's so many different things that come with it that you have to have that like love for it to be able to stick it out. Like you've really got to be like willing to fail basically. Because you love it so much for it to work. Yeah, I hear you. So Spirit do this funny thing where when you're ready to start a new path, they'll try and keep you on the one you're on. Now that might not be a bad thing. It might not be a good thing, but spirit do like to do this. Now I had a similar thing when I was leaving my corporate job and I was deciding I was going to move to Dubai and really go 100% for my spiritual business, I got pulled into a meeting room by someone

who I really respected actually and really looked up to. And she said to me, we've got a job in New York. Do you want it? Like we can make this work. And I was like, Oh my God, like this is the job I've always wanted. Cause it was in the team I wanted in New York. Like how cool. Yeah. Or do I go and have no money, start my spiritual business? Um, And I obviously decided the spiritual business. And because in that moment I knew the spirit were sort of like the devil and the angel on the shoulders, that sort of vibe. Yeah. I don't necessarily think this is the case for this person. I think they they'll be all right, whatever they decide. But you've got the Queen of Swords here. So the Queen of Swords makes shit happen. So this person is going to make it happen, however they want it to, in my opinion.

They also have the Queen of Cups, which is, you know, the more like emotional water sign energy. But like together, it tells me that like, you will work this out because the queen of swords makes shit happen, but the queen of cups will go into her feelings and emotions with this, all right? So you will make this decision. You will probably do both. That's kind of the feeling I have. And you'll make it work. Now, you may overdo

it, but that's okay. But I don't think there's a choice. I think you can manage it in both ways actually. That's kind of when I see the two queens. Maybe as well, like with the own business, maybe it doesn't need to be this huge thing that then consumes you at the beginning anyway. maybe it doesn't need to be this huge thing that then consumes you at the beginning anyway. And it can be something that you do on the side, with also pursuing this job. But I did actually think the same thing at the beginning

about how when you're shown something else, so like what you said, you've got your plan, you're going down there and then all of a sudden it's like, oh, but do you wanna do this? I had it not that long ago where I obviously have decided to not do hair anymore. And then L'Oreal offered me this really good role and job and not like a job, but like a role within their company.

But I was like, no, I don't wanna do hair anymore. Like I've made that decision and I just said no to them. And she almost laughed at me, the woman, because she was like, what? Like why are you turning this down? And I was just like, it's just not for me right now. Like I just knew that it wasn't. Yeah.

But yeah, I think that that can happen a lot. And like by the sounds of it with those cards as well, like you're definitely gonna figure it out and use a bit of a mixture of your, I suppose getting shit done energy and the emotional side, which is really nice. I also have a message that's saying, is it the dream job though? Was it your dream job? Is it still your dream job? That's what I can't work out right now. So yeah.

That's really good. Yeah. Oh, well, let us know anyway. Let us know what happens with that one. Okay, so this is funny. I think. Yeah. Bless them. This might sound silly because I'm in my I'm in my 40s. But how do I know when a guy likes you? We message every day and have and hang have hung out once. Is this a new friendship or more? Ooh. Okay, well- I personally would say time will tell. I would personally say that I'm,

my delusion at times would probably be like, oh, he loves you, it's all, no. Well, I often think if you're questioning it, then you probably do. Do you know what I mean? I think you probably know when somebody doesn't like you in that way. Whereas if you're thinking that they might, then they probably do. You're not deluded for thinking that. I think that you're definitely being led to think something regardless. So I'm sure that there's been some actions that have shown you that or words. And I think time tells,

because you've said on here, we've hung out once. So I think maybe once you've hung out a few more. I also think, I mean, probably not the best person to give advice on this kind of thing. I've been in a relationship since I was basically born. But I just think that, just ask them. Just say like, where do you see this going by the way?

Like I have a really good friendship with you and but I actually really enjoy speaking to you and I actually do see it going somewhere further. Do you? Just be upfront and honest. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. No, I don't think so. I think you're right.

And you know, the cards I've pulled have got the two of swords. So you're at a crossroads. You feel a bit like, do I like them? I think I do. Like there's a little bit of this sort of anticipation that this person's feeling, I sense. And I think you need them to show more effort.

I don't know why that comes up for me. It's just intuitive. So like if this is kind of a bit of communication on WhatsApp or whatever, are they showing up in like a physical way that you would actually want? I know you've met once, but that's sort of coming up for me on timeframe. Like actually, could you have spent more time with them?

Are they putting the effort in that sense? I don't know, but something comes up there, but you're the star, I've pulled the star card. So like you're shining bright, like you've got good energy. So like, you know, you're putting out something that's actually very good. And yeah, I think own the energy, maybe try it on with them, I don't know,

like maybe it's communication, maybe it's a little touch. Also, like you've said that you're in your 40s, which I think that, you know, I'm assuming that the person that you, you know, talking about is maybe a similar age. So, cut the bullshit and just ask, or make a move, like you said.

I think so. Like I think there's, a lot of people say, don't they, like when you hit 40, it's like in, and that you just like, you just don't care anymore about those silly things. So yeah, I just think have fun. Yeah, I think so. I think give, I'll just try it on.

Try it on. Don't hold back. Yeah, and please let us know. That's the kind of thing that I want my followup on. Definitely. I am, I also would say like like if you're a bit nervous, getting to feminine energy as well. Like, so when you're around them,

like you can channel more of like the Shakti energy, which is the divine feminine. Like how can you sort of breathe in your more feminine energy? Cause I think what happens sometimes, and I've done this a lot, is not being in like the feminine. So like they can't read it.

So then they're so confused. So then because, and also men are actually like, you know, some of them can be shy because they don't want to be rejected. So they might not try it on because they can't want to be rejected. So they might not try it on because they can't sense it from you. So like allow yourself to flow in your feminine a bit more and channel that in whatever way works for you. Put some nice feminine music on,

you know, move the body before you meet them. Okay, blow dry. Absolutely. I wonder what he was going to say there when you said blow dry. I knew you were going to go there. Just give him a good blow. He won't say no then. Oh my God. I knew that was where your mind was going to go. It works. It might work if you try that. Sam will take the credit. It works. It might work. If you try that, please get us known. Sam will take the credit. Oh my God. Okay, right. Last one. Coming in.

My mother-in-law is an actual monster. I hate. I know. It's bad. It's bad. Okay. I need to stop laughing. Okay. My mother-in-law is an actual monster. I hate it when she comes out to visit and feel such anxiety in the lead up to her arriving. It has got worse since we had kids. I feel so protective over them when she's coming to visit. What advice do you have to try and tackle this feeling? Oh, okay. The mother-in-law, the archetype of the mother-in-law, which is very triggering one.

Yeah, that is hard. I feel really bad when people have this situation happen because I'm very fortunate with mine, but you do hear of it a lot. Yeah, I had quite an overbearing mom of my boyfriend. She used to get me very anxious. I felt like, yeah, I just remember like her imposing a lot of her time on us. And I wouldn't give her a key to our flat. And she used to get really annoyed about it because I didn't trust her that she would, I felt like she would just turn up. Not go through your things or.

Yeah. And once I, this is before we moved out. I think this is weird. What do you think? I like had stayed over a couple of nights. I had like a bag of my like dirty washing and she washed it all, but it was all like my knickers and like all my stuff.

Yeah, you don't want to wash them out. And I hadn't asked her, like it was a kind gesture, but it just felt like she went through my bag, got my dirty washing out and washed it. No, I mean, no, I wouldn't be happy with that either. But I think that obviously the, it came from a good place I'd like to think, but yeah, I wouldn't like that either.

Yeah, I just- You don't need to do my washing. I live on my own. I'm quite used to doing my own washing. Yeah, I just was a bit like, oh, and there was quite a few things like that. So I remember feeling very anxious and obviously I don't have kids.

But yeah, and it's quite a common theme I get with clients with readings. And I think it's because like, when your own mom loves you, like the end of the day, like if my mom had did that, I wouldn't even question it. I'd be like, choose babes.

No, you wouldn't. Yeah. So I get that like, when it's your own mom, it's very different to possibly the in-laws. Okay, Tarah. It is a different dynamic. And I think that that's something that,

sometimes we probably put a lot of pressure on it to try and keep it in the same dynamic as how you are with your parents, because you don't want them to feel any different, but it is different. And a lot of it comes down to the partner as well and how they handle it, because it is their responsibility ultimately

with their parents. Yeah, to support you. Yeah, it's funny, like, I mean, I actually don't know if my mother-in-law listens to this or not, but if she does, then, you know, we'll just go with it. But even like, so I just had my in-laws with me recently and I get on with them really, really well, I do. I spent loads of time with them because Andy was in work

and yeah, we do get on really, really well. But there was little things like, for example, they'd wear their shoes indoors. And I hate that because like the girls are crawling, right? So their hands are on the floor constantly. The hands are in the mouth constantly. So I have like a thing where I'm like, can everybody just take the shoes off? You know what I mean? When you come in, just take your shoes off, put them away. And when my mom and dad came over, it was, they would naturally wear their shoes indoors. And I just said to them off the bat, I was like,

oh, could you just take your shoes off because of the girls crawling? As soon as I said it, they were like, oh my God, yeah, of course. Like, you know, we'll take their shoes off. Because obviously you just don't think of that if you haven't got little babies. And anyway, Andy's mom and dad would just like

have their shoes on all the time and they'd be like walking on the girls playing mats with their shoes on. And I'd just be like, oh, why are you not taking your shoes off? But I never said anything to them. It's not their fault. I never said anything because I didn't want to be, you know, that overbearing, like,

I need you to take your shoes off. But I would say to Andy like, could you just mention something please? And he then doesn't mention it cause he's just not that type of person. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I totally do.

So I think you do have a different, it is a different relationship with your in-laws and how things come across. And the thing is, the last thing you ever want as well is to say something, it be taken the wrong way and you've created like a situation where then you're going to have like a falling hour or not obviously talking about shoes here, but in any situation, I think that you do feel like you've got to tread a certain way when it comes to in-laws because they're

not your parents at the end of the day. Like I know me and my mum, when my mum was sober, not that long ago, my mum does listen. I snapped at my mum and I'm not a very snappy person. Well, hopefully not. I can snap obviously. When I'm under pressure, I snap and I snapped and I felt so bad afterwards. And I said to her, like, I'm really sorry for how I spoke to you. Like, you know, I'm really, really sorry. Like it was playing on my mind. And she was like, I've forgotten all about that. Like don't be stupid, it's absolutely fine. And like, that's how it is with your parents. Like you kind of do have that.

Whereas when it comes to an in-law, if you say something that's going down in history, like that's never been forgotten. Do you know what I mean? Cause I'm the same with my parents. Like I could get like a little, they see the worst of you. Like, cause that's like, even as an adult, you can act like a teenager and have those moments,

like you say, but yeah, like with an in-law, that could be the divide of the family, that's it now. Yeah, yeah, exactly, like you do have to be careful because you have to, you know, have your wits about you because you don't want to say anything that's gonna do that. And this person is probably, that's where the anxiety is probably coming from.

You just get that message back up. And it also can cause a lot of tension. Oh, sorry, Sam. I was just going to say it can also cause a lot of tension on your marriage or your relationship as well. Because I remember that with my ex, that was all we argued about. It's very, it's very triggering, you know? But yeah, I just think what Niamh said, like, I hate it when she comes out to visit,

I feel like I had such anxiety in the lead up to it. And that's probably why, because the thing is, when they're then, especially like if this person's living in Dubai, and obviously they're coming over, it is very intense having people, if they're staying with you, like it's even more intense, like they see you all, well, and you know, our home is our safe place, isn't it? Like, you know, we have it where you have a version of me on this podcast, right? My staff have a version of me as a boss.

My kids have a version of me as a mom, and my husband has a version of me as a wife. Like, you're a million different people, but when you're in your home, you're you, and you're your safe environment. And if you're having your mother-in-law come into that, you are and who you don't like, you're feeling threatened and you're feeling intimidated.

And like, you probably can't be yourself when they're around. And that's probably where a lot of this is coming from. Yeah, I agree. And also like the protection of the kids, like I can't relate to that. But you know, I've pulled the Emperor card. So like, you know, they're your kids. And like, you've got to speak up if there is anything that's uncomfortable. I also wonder with the Emperor, like, are you feeling supported by your partner?

Do you need to communicate more with your partner to have a bit more of a masculine support with this? Because it feels to me that like you feel really lonely with this or like you Oh that's sad. Yeah or sort of you've blown it out of proportion and like you know no one seems to get it or see it and you're just having to deal with this and you do you know what? I genuinely think like in psychic readings that I do, the mother-in-law can be the most consuming karmic bond that I've seen that can cause so much problems in someone's life because they have to deal with them.

So let's get spiritual, all right? Let's look at this in a different way. Let's switch it up. So you have a sole contract with this mother-in-law, 100%. You have married her son. In a past life, you would have been in a sole family together. So what is this relationship teaching you? Okay. Because what I'm seeing

with this is you're a bit pissed off. You've got a bit of resentment and you're going to probably open the door to her with all that energy. So it's not going to go well. You know, I remember that I remember walking through the house and I'd just be like, oh, like I get it, but what can you do to change it? Okay. So if you look at what is teaching you, you can gain something from this, not lose something. Okay. Now I think boundaries, I think speaking up.

And I also think you need to get out of the house. Like you don't need to be in service to this mother in law. And again, I don't know what your relationship is like in regards to like how much time you spend with her, but it's totally fine if you wanna go out with the kids. And you might have to explain to your partner why you can't always be there, but you don't have to explain to your mother-in-law.

And I think that that's something that can be uncomfortable, but you have to look after yourself. And I think as women, we just have to put up with things sometimes for the sake of everyone else. And so how can you be organized to have some things planned that are like non-negotiables where it gets you out? In regards to the kids, okay, we've got the ACE of one.

So this is new beginnings, emotionally and spiritually. Are the children in danger? Is what she's doing just a different style to you? Can you also look at that differently? Is it really terrible in a sense of like, you can't deal with it because of what you're seeing, or is it really terrible because of how you feel about her?

And that's why I think you have to work out because if it's how you feel about her, you will be projecting out a more negative narrative about her. So everything she do will just piss you off. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, definitely. I think as well, like it will be very hard to do, but there's going to be things that you can be grateful to her for. And I think for me, like it will be very hard to do, but there's gonna be things that you can be grateful to her for. And I think for me, when I've had situations with difficult people, I will literally sit and list 10 things about that person I'm grateful for.

And I can tell you that it's hard, it is hard, of course it is, but you can do it. You could be grateful for the fact that your kids have a grandma. You could be grateful for the fact that, I'm assuming you said she comes to visit, you'd be grateful for the fact that she doesn't live in the same country as you. Do you know what? Yeah. You can be grateful for the fact that maybe she speaks the same language as you.

There's things that you can be grateful for, right? And just keep finding things that you can be grateful for. And just try and kind of like what Jess said, try and shift the energy to enter in each encounter with her in a slightly different way. Because what you might find as well is, so say you're feeling really anxious, you're feeling negative towards her, towards a situation that, any encounter that you've got with her, if you can start to try and change your energy going into those situations, it might change the outcome.

Yeah, it will change the outcome. Yeah, okay, yeah, it will change the outcome. It definitely will. So she'll then change the way that she's being, because maybe she's being a bit stubborn because she's like, or you know, hitting heads a little bit. And then actually if you come into it

with a softer approach, like, oh, do you wanna take the kid out here? Or could you babysit for me while I go and get my nails done or something? So then that person, that mother-in-law feels needed. You've made them feel needed and wanted, and maybe that's all they need. And you know, yeah, for that hour when you get your nails done or whatever,

you might be feeling a little bit anxious and a bit like, don't know how I feel with her around them, but as long as you know, she's not going to hurt them and that they're not in love with them or whatever it is. And then you've made her feel trusted and happier. And then you're going to come back to a better version of her. It could start to help. I think so. I think that's really good. And like whenever I've had an issue with someone and this is more so since I became more spiritual, when I was talking about my ex's mom, that was years ago. And I wish I did this actually on reflection. I was like, I probably made that more of a problem

than it needed to be. And like trying to understand her a bit more as to why. And you know, I do find- Why is she acts the way she does? Like you say, they do just need to be needed. And how can you maybe give them a little bit of that so that then actually they have that, cause it's like, you know, the, not the,

like a guy that's not interested and you're just constantly wanting more and more and more. It's like, they can go over the top because they're just trying to get that fulfillment from you. Maybe just give them what they need in a small way that works for both of you. Try and understand them a bit more, but also just sending like a lot of love to them

because what we do is we send a lot of bitterness and resentment without realizing and it just comes back. It just bounces. It's a mirror. So that's what I would say there. That was the other thing I was going to say. Sometimes you have to look at what it is that they're showing you, parts that you don't like about yourself sometimes. That can happen. Yeah, exactly. And, you know, this is your mother-in-law, so it's obviously your husband's mom. So it is difficult. Like you've got to put the shoe on the other foot

of like, what if I was in her position? You know, and she's, maybe she actually feels intimidated of you. Do you know what I mean? She could feels intimidated of you. Do you know what I mean? She could feel intimidated by you. And maybe that's why she's acting out because she's thinking, no, I'm the parent. She probably still sees you. I don't know how long you've been together

but she might still see you as a younger version of you and not be respecting you for the woman that you are now. Yeah, I think so. I had something in my head that I was gonna say. That was it. I feel like this is gonna trigger the person listening. Yeah, I agree. And I feel like just in my energy,

you're not gonna agree with everything, which means that we've passed on messages to you. Cause if you're triggered or you don't agree, sit with it, write it down, and let whatever comes up over a few days because this might activate a shift and it might feel a little bit uncomfortable for you. Yeah, let us know how you get on with that because I know it's not easy at all.

Yeah, but like you say, we're obviously brought these people to us for a reason. It's a soul contract. Look at the soul work. Everything's work. Everything is reflection on a spiritual level if you allow it to be. And then it's way more enjoyable life.

Yeah. Well, loved that episode. Yeah, me too. It's good. We will be back again in a couple of weeks and it'll be a face, are we gonna be together when we record the next one? It's gonna be in person, babes.

If I know how to record on the laptop, I need to. Oh yeah, because we failed at that last time, didn't we? We'll figure it out. Yeah, we'll work it out. We won't know what to do. The two sat next to one another. I know. Being able to see each other properly.

Well, thank you so much for listening. Please, please, please send in your questions to the link in our Instagram. If you don't already follow us we are at SpokeSpeaking underscore podcast. I am here by Samantha Green. She's at Jessica Marie underscore holistic and do all the lovely stuff like rate and subscribe and tell a friend. Absolutely. Thanks guys. Feel the feels. Love you all, have a good rest of your week. Bye! Bye!