Spiritually Speaking with Jessica & Samantha - Saying Goodbye to our Twenties

Episode Date: February 1, 2024

Welcome to Spiritually Speaking 🎙️ In this special episode, join us on a reflective journey as we unpack the triumphs and hades lessons of our twenties, just before we step into the exciting chapter of our thirties.This episode is a heartfelt exploration of the experiences that shaped our twenties, from the highs to the lows and everything in between. We delve into the relationships, career choices, personal growth, and the challenges that have sculpted us into the people we are today.Expect candid discussions, insightful anecdotes, and perhaps a few laughs as we navigate the terrain of self-discovery. Whether you're on the cusp of thirty or reminiscing about your own journey, this episode is a poignant reminder that each step has been a valuable stitch in the quilt of your life.Get ready for a genuine and thought-provoking episode that celebrates the growth, resilience, and transformation that defines your twenties. Tune in and join us in embracing the past, appreciating the present, and stepping into the future with newfound wisdom and excitement. 🌟 #TwentiesReflection #TurningThirty #LifeUnpacked

Hello, welcome back to Spiritually Speaking with me, Sam. And me, Jess. We are so happy to be here again for another week. We are. Yeah. We've just been chatting randomly, like obviously as always, like before the podcast starts, about how happy we are with how it's going, even though I feel like we say this every week.

And this is a little bit of a pre-record because samantha's having twins yeah anytime well not anytime yeah well when will this come out this will be this will be in like not this friday the friday after which will be the beginning of fib yeah so yeah we need to just be a little bit organized so bear with us guys sam deserves a little bit of a break yeah i'm not even intending to have a break like i'm quite happy to not have one but yeah we'll just see well even if it's a week like yes we'll just go i know yeah people are gonna be listening like just a week i know but it's it's it's not you don't see it as work do you and it's like something that you really enjoy and it's just

like chatting well exactly so i think we'll be fine we'll just go with the flow what we thought we would do is just get in as many as possible beforehand so you have got time to breathe yeah so we have the option worst case I have to go solo for a life yeah which I'll be in my element just like just like chatting to myself which I do often um and then once we're back in our rhythm then these will be live again so you know i don't think you'll notice but we're just keeping you part of the journey yeah keeping you up to date so i haven't told you but we have reached a thousand downloads have we yeah oh my god oh i didn't know that so it's very exciting so that's really exciting it's the 22nd so it's officially so this again pre-'s really exciting. And it's the 22nd, so it's officially, so this is, again, pre-record.

Yeah. We're officially in Aquarius. Well, no. Well, we are, babes. Look at you. But it's been a month since we launched. Oh, yeah. So it was the 22nd or the 21st.

It was the 21st. Yes, it was the 21st. So, yeah. Oh, I love that. I know. So we are very much celebrating that. Yeah that yeah definitely we've just good vibes right now and we'll celebrate once the twins are here with wine 100% so um yeah which is great so thank you so much um and also um this will be two episodes before this one but the friendship check-in lots

of so many messages from people who really like resonated with that I think with the friendship episode like it hit a lot of people because it does make you start to question things and look at your own relationships look at your own friendships and really question them a little bit well I think it gives you a bit of time for reflection which both of us did ahead of that yeah and yeah it was just nice to sort of see that p not nice obviously you don't want people to be feeling sad obviously but it's nice to know that people are relating to the topics that we're talking about yeah because I do think friendships in adulthood obviously is a tricky one and we're all we're all going through it yeah just not talking about it because yeah it's a little bit uncomfortable yeah I agree yeah so thanks guys

but um what this episode is about is uh we've both done some homework haven't we we have we've done a lot of self-reflection yeah we are both going to turn 30 this year with just two months apart yeah so i'm first of march and i'm the fourth of may um so yeah we're literally only really two months apart of turning 30 yeah um so we've done a lot of reflection on our 20s basically we have what happened in our 20s what we're happy about what we're not so happy about what we would say to our 20 year old self um we've done a lot so this episode is going to be yeah reflecting on our 20s and looking back at that really yeah because i think for for many people it doesn't matter if you're listening to this and you're not at the same age as us yeah it's a good opportunity to reflect actually what we both

did is we we wrote this letter to our younger self I basically cried the whole time I wrote this letter I know I have been really emotional reflecting on it um but I think it's quite nice to do it yeah I agree yeah I think it was really good yeah mine was obviously less emotional and basically mine's like a biography of my 20s so i do apologize when i read it out loud no i'm excited to hear it though we haven't actually heard each other's either which is important to mention um but yeah mine was like quite quick sharp but then when i look back at my 20s it was a bit like that as well so this is it mine was pretty turbulent so yeah we've had very

different journeys getting to where we are now and yeah when you said sorry to interrupt you you were like oh mine's 30 seconds and I was like mine's five minutes yeah like we timed it and I was like I can't get it any shorter yeah and I'm like I can't get mine any longer so yeah so buckle up and listen in. Not yet, but further in the episode because, yeah, it was good. So I think, you know, once you listen to ours, maybe it'll inspire you to write your own to that younger version. It's definitely like a form of therapy because a lot of people do

that inner child work, which is when you talk to that inner child, so that seven-year-old you or whatever age was triggered. And it's quite powerful when you sort of visualise that. Yeah. And you have to do that when you read it, OK? Because we've got to feel the feels, babes. Yeah. To actually visualise 20-year-old you

as if she's sitting on the other side of the table. Yeah. See, now that's probably where yours was more emotional and was more, like like thought-provoking because you have done work like that before I'm like so comfortable then you're good at that whereas I haven't so I think I probably didn't think of it as much as that do you know what I mean like literally picturing 20 year old me I was I was sitting with her oh wow and I was like babes yeah it's gonna be okay yeah just about yeah yeah yeah buckle up yeah definitely oh so before we start that bit of

the episode what have you been up to this week so I've been maintaining the early morning walks you've done really well with that thank you yeah yeah well um and also i went to my first yoga class which i think episode like one or two i said i was gonna do it yeah you did yeah you i listened back to whatever one that was recently and you said i just not done it yeah no you said you'd made a comment about how you couldn't touch your toes yeah i still can't yeah but that's you know that makes for progress so i went to the class I nearly do you know what this is terrible so I walked there and it was it was a good 30 minute walk but I was like that's fine you know and I was like two minutes late and I was so petrified to turn up late I nearly didn't go

so I nearly got I actually was at the building and was like do I go in or shall I just walk home and I've done an hour's walk honestly and then And then the voice in my head was like, bitch, get up those stairs and go to yoga. And I did, and it was just me and the teacher. So thank God I went for her and me. Can you imagine if you'd have missed that? I know, I'd have felt awful. So I fully embraced it and I said, I'm really nervous, can't touch my toes.

Like anyone that knows me knows that I'm like sporty but you know not flexible so I've got strong legs that my legs are quite muscly um but yeah they're just very tight so I was like giving her this whole speech and she was like just sit down and chill out and she was great she really helped me and, I felt so good for it because I could feel my body stretching and moving and it was nice. And I shocked myself actually with a couple of the poses. Nowhere near, like, you know, this is going to be...

No one starts these things good at them. So I was having quite a few conversations in my head throughout the class. And one of them was like you're not you know you're not going to be amazing so just keep going yeah you'll work it out you know I think I yeah I don't always like being in those situations if I'm good at it then I'm happy so this I felt yeah um yeah it was good I'm happy I. I stretched. I moved my body. So it's been quite good for me on like a sort of physical level. And I've been getting in sort of like 15, 20,000 steps a day.

Wow. I know. That's fantastic. Thanks, girl. Yeah, it's been good. I've been getting up early. That helps. And then by getting up early, it's making me really productive, more sort of structured. It's really made a difference for me. I'm a morning purpose

so I get things done in the morning so yeah this is quite nice and I've been getting sunrise and also anyone that goes out at that time and you see a really big bright shining star it's bigger than the rest that is Venus oh yeah so it's and i do a little mantra to venus whenever i see it oh yeah no i want to hear it so i say venus bring me the penis oh i did not think that was where that was going honestly every morning i'm like hey venus bring me the penis well you know what the next question is gonna be be, has Venus brought you the penis? Not yet. She's not far off.

Yeah, well, hopefully. Venus was like, babes, be patient. Yeah. Don't be greedy. Oh my God, that is so funny. I was with my friend Ashley and I literally was like, no one was around, like arms in the air. Oh. I was like, let's go for it.

Yeah. So, yeah. So, guys, I'll keep you up to date if Venus. You know what that's making me think of? You know the Razor advert when they're singing Venus? It's like that, but you being like, yeah, Venus. So, basically, any single girls in Dubai that want to go for a Venus penis walk. There's going to be.

You would be surprised. There's going to be quite a few people who would like to do that yeah so um no so that's basically like that's probably as exciting as my week gets to be honest babes but I guess that's what happens yeah not getting the penis so yeah oh my god what about you girl um I have had probably quite a same as most of the other weeks like fairly slow um i did a pilates class which i have decided is going to be my last one now i was gonna say that how you know i assume you can't touch your toes no if you can i don't know and i can't with your bum i don't know yeah probably not like even putting like shoes on is a bit

tricky um but yeah pilates weirdly is the only thing that i can actually do at the moment so i can't walk really comfortably yeah um like for a long period of time or anything like i couldn't even really go shopping now um but pilates i can do so i can do like lunges i can do like all those things yeah really weird um but I kind of said to myself this week when I went to the class I was like this is going to be my last one for the obviously time being which is fine like I'm okay with that um I'm glad that I've managed to get to this point of do like and still doing it yeah um so yeah that's that um god we're so excited i know and then we got our my c-section has actually been but been booked in oh my goodness yeah so that's um also exciting

yeah it's quite a weird thing like me and jess were chatting about in the car like a lot of people had said to me um you know how you're feeling now it's been booked in i don't really feel any different because for me i just know that now they feeling now it's been booked in I don't really feel any different because for me I just know that now they're not going to come any later than that day yeah yeah but I still feel like that obviously there is a possibility that they could come earlier than that date so I don't feel like I necessarily know the day that they're coming any differently yeah I guess you've just got a deadline now yeah I have a deadline which is really nice because I know that you know x amount of time from now they will be here so that's a really reassuring feeling um but yeah I just think I feel quite ready for it now I said to Andy the

other day we were I said to him like I feel quite ready and he was like really and I said yeah I was like Saturday afternoon I'm watching Love Island like this is not me yeah i'm not that person i can't like chill i love getting up out walks yeah no i get that and i'm just hard i imagine that last bit of pregnancy yeah but it's fine like you know i want them to stay in i want them to be healthy and grow so yeah that's kind of all i've done this week really. Amazing. So we're just taking it easy, chilling. And obviously did a lot of reflection on my twenties. Yes. Which has been good. I feel like I've been quite lucky in my twenties. I'm not going to lie. I feel a little bit, I know, but you know, when you just kind of look back on it and you think, I feel a little bit, um, what's the word? I don't want to say smug, but I like you bitch yeah I'm a bit like oh shit you made

it quite easy yeah but I think that you choose your life okay and you choose your journey and some people do get it easier yeah life is not fair to be completely frank and everyone has different spells in their lives where some things are harder and some things are easier yeah like definitely for me my 20s has been a real like journey of mental health and like internal turmoil I would say with a lot of fun and craziness yeah at the same time you know so everyone has different sort of stories and then I think now I'm a lot more chilled you see it with people the people and by the way I'm not going to make it out like I was like really wild and party like I'd still like to go bed early but you see those people that were ravers yeah and then like they become gardeners and vegans yeah in their 30s and 40s and it's good for them you know

kind of everyone has their journey yeah um and I think yeah like it's fine to feel proud of your 20s I think that's probably a different thing I think you have a good judgment yeah so that helps yeah um and also like every like I say especially in astrology when you look at someone's chart and you look at what's going on you start to realize that some people really did choose the struggles you don't realize you've chosen you're going to feel sorry for yourself and a victim but you know there's an element that you choose these things yeah you don't ask for what you know xyz but what you do is you oh it's 11 11 oh sorry sorry everyone make a wish yeah um but you do that's them reaffirming

the message that's coming through right now that you do choose your journey and if it's difficult it will be because of certain transits and you know you just have to start to trust it so you know everyone has it differently like my sister I would say had a very similar 20s to you both my sisters they got settled down quite young married you know they all did it quite a lot of my friends have as well yeah I also think like what was interesting is I was chatting to Andy about it and I was saying like when we'd done this reflection of like the good things and the bad things that had happened and there were a few things that had happened that were obviously

quite upsetting and sad and things like that and I do think a lot of it is again I don't want to sound like a bit of a dick when I say these things but how you react to them yeah because you can let it like take over your life yeah or you can choose to accept it and depending on what it is obviously um but yeah there's there was people that I lost in my 20s and there were situations that happened that were really upsetting but yeah I think choosing how you handle that you have a bit more resilience I would say yeah which is great yeah everyone has that yeah and a lot of people learn that in their 20s so there was something in you that you chose in this lifetime to be more resilient yeah you know I've had to learn that yeah so everyone has you know different things you know like how you say

you've become more like empathetic yes you've had to learn that now where that was something I didn't have to learn yeah yeah and that's something that I'm gonna have to continue learning now yeah so your 30s will be triggering in a different way yeah definitely because of your motherhood journey so as much as you know you you know in your 20s it's you're hitting a lot of things you're gonna probably get jobs businesses you're gonna buy a property you're gonna have a relationship maybe whatever like there's a lot of tick boxing and then after that you start to then be like ah okay I've done my 20s yeah your 30s arrives 40s arrive whatever it is and then you start to just have life and that's when you have to work out is it enough yeah because your 20s can be a very sort of tick tick tick so I

think for some people it can also be quite challenging to be quite present yeah because you've always been focusing on the next girl. Yeah. The next house. That's one of the things that I definitely did write down in it, was that, like, and I always remember this, when I'd met Andy, he said to me, he was like, you never stop.

He said, nothing is ever enough. And he didn't mean that in a negative way. He was just like, you're constantly striving for the next thing. So when you get to that thing, you don't really then sit and appreciate it you go straight on to the next one and I very much was like that for a long I would say for my like majority of my 20s yeah yeah until I really took on board because I didn't understand when he said that I was a bit like well yeah but what's wrong with that and then now I kind of get it where i'm like right yeah you do actually need to appreciate when you got to that point and just sit in it for a minute before yeah yeah i i think i learned that quite quickly in my 20s and have

become less attached to things and stuff house you know i was just so adamant i wanted a house yeah and then i bought a flat and I just felt so frustrated that I didn't have my own driveway oh really like 23 it's just ridiculous so like I had to just get over it yeah and now I think that version of myself I'm like why did you care so much yeah you know it was all this like societal conditioning of what you should have so I think sometimes we do just focus too much on stuff and things and achievements yeah and I've definitely sort of just had to work through that now I don't really have much stuff to be really honest with you yeah I think I have the least amount of clothes I've ever had

I have a very simple makeup bag now I don't have a driveway yeah you know yeah it's like all those things that you realize what actually then brings you happiness yeah I actually put a post on Instagram yesterday with my early morning walks I managed to catch the sunrise and the sunset yeah I saw that honestly oh sorry thanks no in a good way I was like oh I love that like that would make me really happy as well yeah it was just said about how happy it made you and I was like, that would do exactly the same thing for me. Like that would make my heart sing. Yeah, just sort of, yeah. So I had a really, really nice day and it was very simple. No money was spent other than on, I think, a milkshake, which was very toasty.

Yeah, I just thought, you know this is this is all right you know so what were the highs of your 20s oh gosh my eyes I would say um I had a lot of fun yeah I experimented a lot I'd say um and I think my career like I would say I really worked hard yeah to now be at a point where I have more freedom yeah um that definitely is a highlight uh becoming an auntie oh that's so nice because from like the it was 17 when my sister had her first baby Maisie who's now 11 oh yeah no yeah maybe I was 18 actually I don't know it doesn't matter but anyway being an auntie has been such a high I just love them so much so that's like been a really fun part of my 20s um and I think obviously moving here was a big thing I've been quite bold in my 20s I've

been quite impulsive like I climbed Kilimanjaro just oh wow yeah and that was really fun um yeah I got to travel quite a lot with my job which was really fun I met a really attractive man on a flight to Miami and the rest is history but it was a great trip to Miami you know like in those little moments where I just basically thought fuck it yeah you live life yeah definitely I can't look back and say I didn't live my life I definitely did um and yeah I'm I feel very very happy to be moving into a new chapter and looking back and being like yeah do you know what I had a good time I always think when I'm an old lady in the nursing home, I'll be very happy when I think about my 20s. Yeah, that's good.

Yeah? Yeah, I like that. What about you, Gail? My highlights, I got married twice. Oh, to the same man? To the same man, yes. Scandal. I know.

So Andy and I legally went and got married. I was 23, he was 24, which when I look back to now was absolutely wild. But it was such an impulsive decision. We decided to move to Dubai and I wanted to be on his visa because with his job, it just made loads more sense healthcare and all that jazz um so we just went and got married and my friends thought I was nuts like they were just like what are you doing like because we weren't engaged like yeah we just went and got married and then and that was honestly amazing like it was such a good day we had so much fun it was so just random but just so great um I remember the next day we got up and we like went from McDonald's and then we like drove to Liverpool and went to like a spa in Liverpool and I remember feeling like what felt like the peak of happiness and

thinking like you need to remember this feeling like because it didn't cost me anything really like on the grand scheme of things and then then we got engaged later, and, like, two years later, maybe, and then we had our actual wedding in Dubai, yeah, two years ago, yeah, two years ago, so, yeah, that was a huge part, I ran a marathon, that's really good, which which was cool well done um moved to Dubai opened a salon went self-employed like the the work horse in me was like full steam ahead through my 20s like that was a huge part of my 20s was how much I worked it really really was yeah definitely for you yeah huge um but yeah I had but I equally then had like the best time in my 20s as well like I still had like all my girls holidays yeah we went out loads I think because Andy and I got together so young we still then lived life like we should

have at each age which was great like we didn't settle down as such like super young you know as much as i'm saying we got married at 23 like it wasn't a case of right let's live together now and let's i don't know stay in all the time like we still lived the same way um yeah as we would have at 23 when you meet young yeah to keep that yeah definitely yeah so we had a really good i had a really good um 20s yeah really enjoyable and then obviously now 29 and pregnant um and we'll have my babies at 29 oh my gosh yeah, yeah. Amazing. So that's going to be a huge high. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Huge high. So nice way to end the 20s as well.

Yeah, that is lovely. Yeah, definitely. Aww. Yeah. Amazing. I know. And then what would you say your lows? Oh gosh, too many.

Really? No, I'm joking. There were lows. Lots of lows. But I think a lot of that was trying to understand myself and my brain and my mental health I think I just was very anxious in my early 20s and I had to explore that um and then I think that led to like a lot of the depressive spells that happened for me so I think that was a real that I just couldn't get out of it yeah it was just so heavy and I felt so isolated with that um and then obviously heartbreak at the time felt like an ultimate low but was

definitely a great thing for me um not getting jobs like I remember always like trying to apply for jobs especially internally like opportunities and it just feeling like devastating when I didn't get them because I really wanted to progress in my career but obviously that was spirit like babes this isn't for you yeah so now again so all my lows have you know made made the highs really but yeah I'd say that um I've been very fortunate like my family um and yeah there's definitely been some hard times but I would say a lot of mine's internal yeah um very within not necessarily external factors that have happened yeah um yeah which is interesting it's a misunderstood place sometimes when you're very within definitely because we were talking about how like when I sort of share bits about my story and whatever people don't always assume which yeah I say soon but you know what it's it's

so true like when you were telling me things that happened you know and how you felt through your 20s I I was really shocked because it is hard when you look at someone who I come to put it this way right I come to you for the answers do you get what I mean yeah yeah like if I'm going through something say I'd speak to you and vice versa it's like you know when you're a kid and you think that your mum has all the answers and you're like you they can't possibly not know something they can't possibly ever have a down day because they just seem to always like be on this top form yeah that's how I think I feel with you yeah so when you'd said to me that you were that you'd had such a period of your life where you were so down and you know

really couldn't see a way out of that I found that so surprising because I just see you as this such a positive person who like can really see past any situation yeah like you can we could be sat in traffic for example and you wouldn't get stressed you'd be like it's fine doesn't matter if we can't record the pod today don't matter and I'm like what like yeah do you know what I mean so then I think when you said that you had felt like that it is really surprising yeah a lot of people I think a lot of people were like oh you've got your shit together yeah and I'm like yeah but also the reason I can sort of I say I can give advice that I am comfortable giving advice is because I get it so like I've been there obviously I've studied as

well with you know how to help people but I think for me if I hadn't gone through what I'd been through it'd be very hard to sit the other side of the table and hold space so I think there's you know I think kind of makes sense and also I have a better toolkit now like I'm sure there's still going to be moments where things will be difficult for me but now I just know the resources available the problem was at my early 20s is I didn't know the resources that were available to me. And that is my biggest bother about society that we try and deal with this shit on our own. And I did. And it just, it took me so long.

And now I know that I doesn't need to be like that. And so many others need to know that. So I'm always so conscious to push people into um having therapy you know exploring their avenues of whatever suits them whether it is medication whatever it doesn't really matter as long as it works for them yeah um and I think sometimes we yeah just we feel like we've got to do it on our own and I think I did kind of have to do it on my own to then realize that I needed help to then be able to help others and it's still a journey and I think to me like I was talking to someone the other day we when we were both saying we do

our best work when we're in pain so if I'm going through something and someone turns up for a session my empathy is even bigger because I'm going through something and I know that they are and it's like, yeah, I get it. Oh, that's nice. But, yeah, I do think now I have this very bizarre misconception of myself that people see me as someone who's got their shit together. Honestly, everyone, just to clarify, it's taken a lot of work. Yeah. And it's, you know, I'm very vulnerable, I'm really open. So maybe that's why people get to understand me

and I'm kind of confident enough to speak when I'm not feeling great yeah you know like yeah so I'm I do think I used to feel a pressure though babes we've always been the happy one the positive one like there was there's still every like I think probably in the summer in the kitchen had a moment with my mum where I was like, what about me? You know? Yeah. Like, who have I got? Yeah.

You know, I'm always that for everyone. Yeah. And I think I had a little moment, and that pops in very rarely now, but it does sometimes. Yeah. Because you're kind of keeping it, you know, and you see that with a lot of people

that suffer with their mental health. Yeah. They're trying to keep everyone up. I can imagine. So you've just got to be really in check with that. Yeah. Yeah. That's a big lesson

yeah yeah yeah definitely what about your lows my lows in my 20s was probably more interestingly enough I think when we'd said obviously with the friendship episode I think a lot of it was learning to not necessarily expect always other people to give the same as what I would yeah um and also that other people aren't always going to understand yeah what I visioned and what how I how I do things and you know and a lot of people would see me and just be like oh my god like for example moving to Dubai like yeah really you know like and I'm getting married really you gonna do that like you know I mean like a lot of people don't always you knew what you wanted yes but others sometimes yeah yeah and it's and I learned a lot of like not taking on other people's

opinions um I would say um I had a like a few losses in my 20s like I lost both my granddad so I was really close to um and almost lost my dad in my 20s as well which such a lot like luckily I didn't um but that was a very like sad time and I remember even going through that and again not really speaking to many people about it because I just, I don't really know why. I just didn't feel like I could or... Yeah. I genuinely don't know why it was... It's a coping mechanism.

I think we just lied away sometimes. Yeah, probably. Yeah. I can remember actually going round to Andy's house and his mum and dad said to me something like, oh, are you okay? Like, we know about your dad. And I was just like, yeah, yeah, everything's fine.

And then, like, we went into Andy's room and I just burst out crying. And I was like, I'm not okay. He was like, okay. You know, and, like, it's, yeah, that was definitely hard. But other than that, I would say I've been very, like I say, I think I've been very, very lucky through my 20s. A few difficult moments with people and learning, like I say, how to manage people.

And just learning, learning a lot, basically, just constantly learning through my 20s. That's good. You like to learn. Yeah, I do and I think there's certain situations that have happened as I've got more towards the end of my 20s and what's been so amazing is the way that I've reacted to that then and how I would have reacted to it six years before is so different and I remember speaking to my mum on the phone actually and she was like god you really like handling this really well and I was like well yeah like you know I'd I'd done a lot of internal work through my 20s I've done a lot of I read a lot of self-help books

I'll do a lot of work on myself all the time I'm constantly trying to be better yeah um and you know I think I'm very lucky that I have a very supportive partner but also someone who will say to me you know you should you actually didn't handle that very well like why don't you try maybe next time I think you're quite good at feedback like not that I've just been giving you feedback when we work together on like your astrology chart or whatever you're like oh my god I'm gonna explore this. Yeah I love feedback. You're like a real teacher's pet

you like come back with all the work you've done I'm like yes thanks. Yeah I love feedback I think it's really good and I think nobody's perfect and I think I love when people say to me you're thinking this way because of this and you're viewing it this way because of this and you're viewing it this way because of this and maybe actually it isn't the way that you're looking

um maybe it isn't the way that you think it is or I don't know it's difficult to say but I'm just going to give you an example even like this morning I'd messaged my manager in the salon and I said oh this situation is really frustrating me and she said to me she was like it's because you're not there yeah you're trying to control it without being there and it's hard for you to let go yeah and you're still trying to behave as though you're there yeah and I actually voice noted her back and I said to her I am so glad that you said that to me yeah and I really appreciate that you will say that to me yeah you know i mean rather than just being like yeah i completely agree with you like you're so right like actually

no think about why you're thinking the way you are um yeah you need that yeah i don't need that yeah i feel like i've digressed there a bit no i love it um yeah so i 10 years I'll be very very lucky um if I can take the lessons that I've learned into my 30s um you definitely will yeah yeah 100% um I think it's such a transformative age your 20s isn't it't it? It is. It's just a time. I don't think I'd want to do them again. I kind of agree with you, to be honest. Even though I've said mine have been amazing, I actually don't want to do it again.

I have no desire to go back. It's really hard. You're finding your feet. You're figuring out who you are as a person. That was a huge part for me, actually, in my 20s. Because I think for a long time, me actually in my 20s because I think for a long time I was trying to be something that I wasn't yeah and then actually realizing no I love reading a self-help book I love working on myself I love going for long walks and doing

those types of things and yeah not necessarily what everybody else wants to do and going out getting drunk all the time I heares, I hear you. Yeah. You have to work it out. You do. You do have to work it out. 100%. Okay. Do you think we're ready for our letters? Yeah, let's do it.

Settle in. Okay. So to my 20 year old self, your passion, your drive and determination is what will carry you through this next season of your life. Not everyone around you will share the same desires or even understand your vision but that's okay. Continue to work hard and love even harder. You already know everything will work out because you won't settle for anything less. Remember to be kind to yourself and appreciate those closest to you if you need to take time out to rest don't see this as a failure appreciate what you already have as it's only going to get

better don't wait for others to say that they are proud of you just be proud of yourself oh i love that that is beautiful babe short and sweet but do you know what? That's very smart, very concise to get it like that. Yeah. No, that's lovely. Thanks. I think that's very bold. I love that. Okay, so dear 20-year-old me,

well, the next decade is going to be a wild ride. First things first, it's all going to work out. And the theme of this decade is obstacles disguised as blessings. So firstly, corporate life is not for you. You were not made to sit at a desk all day. The sooner you work that out, the better. However, the salary helped you purchase a flat, a journey filled with excitement that led to a lot of tears, heartbreak and pain. Your darkest times will find you sitting on the kitchen floor accompanied by a bottle of wine, questioning your purpose, your life and why you're here.

Despite it all, I'm so proud of us for not giving up. At times quitting may seem like the easiest option but I promise you there are amazing experiences ahead. You'll eventually look back and see this time as a space where you truly discovered yourself. Then your therapist entered your life at a crucial moment, a time that altered everything for you. Finally ready to take responsibility for your life. She guided you away from being a victim of your obstacles to viewing them as a map to success. This shift will truly change your life. Now, let's talk about kindness.

You're a giver, and that's beautiful, but not everyone is the same. Boundaries are your friends, so please learn to use them. People, even the ones you least expect, might take advantage of your kindness. It's a tough lesson but you will work it out. Guess what? You're way smarter than you give yourself credit for but it's a different kind of smart. One that society might not hand you a degree for but once you grasp how your brain works it becomes your superpower. Your deep intuition cuts through the nonsense and yes it can feel like a lonely place but here's the thing you will learn to get comfortable with that solitude. People will be intimidated by your intuition especially if they have something to

hide. Don't feel the need to prove it to anyone. Some will use you for your insights but don't worry you'll figure that out too. Your tolerance remains but once burnt by someone it's challenging to have them back in your life. It's tied to forgiveness, a skill we might have to refine with age. For now recognise that you're a sensitive soul and must prioritise safeguarding your energy. So let's talk about forgiveness, a slow process for you. The pain you endure from others will lead you to your biggest growth. Not everyone in life wants the best for others. So please learn to put yourself first. This will be such a big challenge. Okay, let's have a chat about men first and foremost it's absolutely crucial not to let society dictate your worth based on your relationship status you are not a failure whether you're single

navigating a breakup or dating someone who turns out to be the wrong fit remember it's okay to focus on having a good time while building your business. Also, a word of wisdom, dating the wrong guy can be entertaining, but it often means confronting your own toxic traits. Embrace the journey, learn from it, but please let him go. Family will forever have a special place in your heart. Mum and dad stand as solid supporters, especially during significant changes. Just let them have time to digest it. You know, we're still their baby after all. And over time, they will adjust to the new normal. Your sister's bringing beautiful

babies into the world and being an auntie is truly the best thing. Moving abroad was tough, especially leaving them behind. but here's the truth, they will be fine. Yes, they'll miss you, but again, it's crucial, put yourself first. The bond you share with your family will remain strong regardless of the distance. It's a testament to the enduring strength of your family. Now, this part might be harder to comprehend but motherhood hasn't arrived in your 20s. It's not because it's not in the cards but rather because you've chosen to focus on yourself without distractions. Your big heart holds a wealth of love and that love will find its way to your own family one day in whatever form that may be. The key lessons here is to trust the journey.

The timing may not align with your initial expectations but it aligns with what's best for you and your future family. Embrace the present knowing that the chapters of your life unfold in their own perfect time. Okay almost finished. Looking ahead it's almost surreal to believe this is our life the woman you will become will make you really proud continue to be a change maker and never fear doing things differently you'll uncover the limitations of society the patriarchy and culture gradually breaking free from these mindsets paving the way for others to follow. It's mind-blowing to think about but before turning 30 you would have met and read for thousands of people. That's a lot of individuals with unique stories and energies. The connection

runs deep as you dive into their pain, suffering, frustrations and growth. You see them taking steps to improve their lives. Eventually they no longer need you but they linger as a thought in your head. You find yourself wondering how they're doing, hope they're okay and in these moments you realise that during the time you worked with them you made a meaningful impact. In the end you'll discover the magic and self-worth that resides within you, the very magic you knew was there but you couldn't access. Now you share that magic with others, aiding them in uncovering their own. It all makes sense now, doesn't it? The trials and tribulations, the ups and downs, each moment

was a stepping stone leading to the person you'll become. Embr embrace the journey for it's though the challenges that you unearth the truest versions of yourself and the remarkable magic that resides within be proud 20 year old me you're becoming something incredible love 30 year old you oh i love it it's so good thanks babe it's like a whole essay but no but i just think i was just thinking of like 20 year old you listening to that yeah thinking wow that would have been so helpful i feel like 20 year old me would be like oh my god yeah can we do this but yeah it managed to work out i'm so glad yeah it really did so yeah i'm so happy amazing yeah well everyone i guess we'll leave it on that note so food for thought for everyone have a little moment to reflect over the last decade whatever age you're at maybe write yourself

that letter in some way yeah definitely yeah i agree i think i think it was really informative and something lovely to do to look back and absolutely reflect on how far you've come yeah i think it's important well guys thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of spiritually speaking and yeah we've loved it yeah i've really enjoyed this we hope that you all have gained something from it and like we just said that you can reflect back and um look at the last decade of your life whatever age you are um and hopefully it's really informative for you yeah absolutely so don't forget to subscribe download like whatever you're meant to do rate the podcast guys please rate it like yeah we've

started to get a few but you know get on there and rate it and yeah share it with your friends um because you know we're we're just loving it yeah we're really enjoying it so with that should we share the the socials so oh yeah so we've got um at spiritually speaking underscore podcast mine is at hair by samantha green and mine is at jessicamarie underscore holistic and with that guys honestly thank you so much for listening this was quite a vulnerable session yeah for me yeah for both of us yeah so thanks and sending lots of love we will see you soon bye