Spiritually Speaking with Jessica & Samantha - Sex, Soul Contracts & Moving On from That Toxic Ex

Episode Date: February 28, 2025

Jess and Sam are back for this week’s episode, diving deep into three powerful questions:How to reignite passion in your sex life – Is the spark fading, or do you want to take intimacy to the next level? Jess and Sam offer guidance on reconnecting with desire and deepening physical connection.IVF & Soul Contracts – What role do soul contracts play in the journey to conception? Jess taps into the Tarot to explore the spiritual aspects of IVF and the deeper connections at play.Healing from a Narcissistic Relationship – Breaking free from the cycle of a toxic dynamic isn’t easy. We explore the healing process, self-reclamation, and what the cards reveal about moving forward.Jess pulls the cards, Sam shares her wisdom, and together they bring their unique mix of no-nonsense advice and spiritual insight.Submit your anonymous questions for the next episode: https://ngl.link/spirituallyspeaking_podcastTune in for real questions, real readings, and real talk.

Hello and welcome back to Spiritually Speaking with me Sam and with me Jess. Welcome back. Hello, welcome back. I'm so glad that I have a voice this time. That's true. I forgot you lost your voice. Yeah. Yeah. I was literally sick as a dog last time we recorded this. You're back strong now girl, which is good. I am. I am. Maybe I honestly thought as well when I was coming in, I drove to the salon this morning for us to record this,

and I was thinking, thank God that we were recording today, and not like two days ago. It would have been a very different version of myself on this podcast. Why don't you tell everyone how you was feeling two days ago? Oh, God. I mean, I feel like for the last,

at least two weeks at least, I feel like I have just been walking around with a gray cloud is the only way I can describe it. I've just been having a really hard time. Like, and I'm very aware that everybody's version of a hard time is subjective to them, but this is my version of a hard time. And it's just of a hard time is subjective to them, but this is my version of a hard time. And it's just been a struggle.

Like the girls have been nonstop either teething or sick or changing or a sleep regression, or it's just, I feel like I haven't got a grasp on them. Like every, honestly, it's like they go to bed at night, they have a conversation between each other, and they go, right, your turn tonight, because every night is different. And I've just felt like I was failing. I did, I've probably just felt like I was failing as a mom. Like I just felt like there was nothing I could do to make it any better. And through the nights, what

we do is I have the girls, I have the monitor on my phone basically because Andy wakes up for work at 5 a.m. So for me, I don't have that obviously where, yeah, I have to get up with the girls, but as in like through the day, I can be flexible as to what I do. I could go back to sleep or something if I needed to. And the nights were just getting so hard.

Like I hadn't had a proper night sleep in so long. And we had this particular night recently. This is only like, I don't know, maybe Monday. On today's Thursday, by the way. And River was up every hour through the night and screaming and it was just cause she was teething so badly and we had to like, for like 10 o'clock at night, we were like,

right, come on, we dragged her cot into our room. So without waking Blake up and then she's crying. So then Andy goes in the spare room, has Blake on the monitor in there. Then I have River with me. And at one point I bent down to like get her out the crib or something like that and it's pitch black. I banged my head on the cot so hard.

Honestly, I've had a bruise above my eyebrow here all week and it's been so painful. And you know when you're just like, I can't do this. And at one point I just got in bed and I put the quilt over my head and I just cried. Oh, sad. Because I was like, this is so shit and like it's so hard. And I was texting one of my best friends at home, bless her, because I thought she might

have been awake, which she was. And obviously time difference helps us there. And she was being really helpful to me. But I was just, I went back to what it felt like when they were newborns. And I really struggled when they were newborns. Like if you've listened back on these episodes, like you'll know anyway from what I was saying and you could just tell in my tone of voice probably.

But I did really struggle when they were newborns and I felt like that version of myself again. And I was really, really struggling. I came to work on whatever day it was on that Monday or Tuesday. I don't know when it was. came into work and I cried all day and like I'm not much of a crier at all and I just sat in this meeting room on my own and just sobbed and then when I left I got in my car, I sobbed and like I just had a really hard time of it and it felt like it would all just come on top

of me but I've had two good nights sleep now and I feel a lot better. But it's just funny how much sleep can really affect you. It really can and like that's tough with the girls because you just never get a break. Like it's a never ending cycle. It really isn't and I know like I can keep chirping on about the fact that they're twins and everything, but it really is so hard that there's two of them. And you know what someone said to me once in the salon, there was a client who was getting her hair done and she said something like, oh, how are you getting on or whatever?

I was like, oh God, yeah. I said, it's hard obviously with twins. And she went, yeah, but you know, you manifested that, didn't you? And I was like, bitch, please. I could manifest a fucking five bedroom house, but doesn't mean I know how to look after it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, now I get that.

I was like, I can still say that it's hard work. Like, yes, I wanted it. I love them. I wouldn't change them for the world, but it's really hard. Yeah. Yeah. And also you're just being honest. Like I think sometimes in parenthood, people don't like to talk about like the lows. They just want to sort of, sort of portray maybe that everything's okay because it's like society. But I think when I observe people being parents, I'm like, oh my God, like the fact that like you're on 24 seven, I cannot comprehend that. And the amount of times we messaged each other and like your morning to my morning, it still like shocks me

that like you have these two babies that you're dealing with every day. I'm just like- Yeah, it's constant. Yeah. There isn't a day that obviously I don't wake them up or that I don't put them to bed. And that is a non-negotiable for me, that that is my role,

that something that I wanna do every day and I make sure that I'm there for every day, but it is just relentless. And then on this one particular night, so I'd had River up with me all night. And then in the morning, I woke Blake up and she just cried for like an hour and a half. And I was like, great.

You're like, brilliant, thanks guys. Yeah, and that's, I think that was when I really push breaking point to be honest. And yeah, so it is difficult, it is hard, but I do feel like I'm starting to see a little bit more light at the moment. And I think I've just had a little bit of a shift mentally as well, which is definitely helpful. I'm reading, which I've, I know I've already said this to you before, but I'm listening to you. I've never actually really been much of an audio book kind of gal, but I've just got onto it.

And I think it's brilliant because I can then read a book at night that's like, you know, something completely different. But anyway, so I'm listening to the audio book of Mel Robbins' Let Them Theory. Yes, sounds really good. It's absolutely brilliant. Like if you want a self-development book that's gonna help you in any situation in life, this is the book. Like it's so good. And at the beginning, I was a bit like,

do I really need to listen to this book? Because I've listened to loads of podcasts we've run, like I feel like I understand the let them theory. No, no, you need to read the book. It's brilliant. It's really, really good. And that's been really helping me as well. And loads of other things as well. But yeah, that has been brilliant. So I'd really

recommend that to anyone. That's good. I've got it on my list to listen to because I do like Mil Robbins. I've found some of her stuff really powerful. But yeah, so I would just tell anyone basically to listen to that book, read that book because you will benefit from it. You really will. There's no way that you can't.

And if you are so, what's the word, like arrogant that you think that you can't benefit from it, then take a look inwards because I promise you that you can. Well, I think like, obviously from what I've seen, the concept is obviously just sort of being like, literally like let someone think something of you or let them feel whatever it is

and not letting it affect you basically. Yeah, that basically is how it works, but it's also about your reaction to things and how you can control your own reaction to things. And I think sometimes we can know that already, but being told it again and being reminded of it is very powerful. And yeah, it's a very, very good book.

Love it, babes, look at you. That's really good. So yeah, feeling a little bit better today, which is good. We've got friends over in Dubai at the moment, which is nice. So gonna see them this weekend. Oh my God. So yeah, feeling a little bit better today, which is good. We've got friends over in Dubai at the moment, which is nice. So gonna see them this weekend. Oh my God.

So we went out last weekend. We went to the Duck Cook, one of our favorite places. Love Duck Cook. And it is February and it was 38 degrees. I saw that on your Instagram. What's that about? Honestly, I had no idea until we were in the car. So we were already on our way there

when I realized how hot it was. And I was like, sorry, 38 degrees, like what? And then we got there. The only table that was available was in the sun. It was so busy. It was so hot. We had obviously our two kids. They have two kids.

We hadn't seen them in like such a long time. And all you wanna do is catch up, but you just can't because you've got four kids between you and who all have different needs because they're all different ages as well. And yeah, it was intense to say the least. I can't believe that. I'm not happy about that. Is this still? And it's cooled down again now.

Okay. No, no, it has definitely cooled down again now, but yeah, very strange. And obviously Ramadan starts. Yeah, Ramadan starts this weekend. I think so. No, Saturday. Yeah. I think.

Yeah, I think. Well, we don't know, do we? It depends on the moon. But yeah, that will start very soon, which is brilliant for me from a selfish perspective, because- Oh, Andy. Which is the opposite of what Ramadan is, but yeah.

Because Andy will be finishing work early every day, which is really nice for me. That's so nice. So yeah, yeah, so that'll be good. Oh, love that. So yeah, that's that, that's my update. What is going on with you? Oh, babe, so I'm in Kosoomui now. I feel like when we last recorded, I was in Chiang Mai.

So it's been raining here for the last like week, pretty much. Actually been raining that long? Like nonstop, like today's the first day of blue skies, but I've been on client calls all day. So I haven't actually left my apartment in two days because it's been raining and I've been working. Wow, cabin fever. Yeah.

So I'm going to head out tonight just to get some food, maybe get a massage. Coast movie is lovely. So first of all, I went to probably the beach that wasn't my vibe, which was the party beach. Definitely reminds me of Ibiza, like there's kind of two sides to the island. There's the party side, which I would say I'm no longer really a part of. Yeah, like I liked it, but like everyone was really drunk

and obviously like where I'm not drinking at the moment. But like it just, it was just making me laugh. But I was also like, I just want to read my book and chill. So I was like, I need to go into like hotels with more like chill beach clubs. But it's been good. And I was in a little hotel for a few days and it was like a family run hotel, which

was really sweet because the kids were making me breakfast and they were a really nice family. So that was good. But now I'm in my apartment, I've got a kitchen, I've got a big balcony. It's got the most beautiful view. I just feel very happy. I found a really good yoga studio, which does beginner classes every day at 9am. So I've been doing that. There's like this wellness place, which is connected to the yoga studio that does ice bath sauna, steam rooms every day. So I'm

so good lining up to that. And they do like, like a really nice lunch menu. You can go and work there. So like kind of like a Kosa movie, David Lloyd vibe. Oh, nice. So yeah, so that's good. But I was on my course, The Art of Dying and the Meaning of Life. So I have been, to be quite honest with you, quite deep and internalizing a lot over the last week, doing a lot of questioning, reflecting, internalizing on life. And the inevitable thing is that we die one day and that's pretty much what we spoke about for two days.

We had to write a eulogy for our own funeral, which cracked me up because they were like, why are you here? Like at the beginning they asked that and I was like, I just would, do you know what? Something that crosses my mind a lot is like, what would people say at my funeral? And they laughed and they were like, that's actually the first task we're going to do. And I'm like, brilliant. I really enjoyed writing my own eulogy. I was doing it like they had to think of someone. So I thought of my sister. And yeah, it was like, it was-

I bet it was long. It was, but it wasn't too bad because I kind of felt a bit uncomfortable to keep saying that I was amazing. Like, you know, when it's sort of like, she was so kind and she's impacted so many people. And I was like, God, I'm such a twat writing all this stuff about myself. Where if my sister wrote it, I'd be like, oh, thanks, hey.

Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, because I thought about my other sister and I was like, God, if she had to write it, she would be like, Oh my God, what do I, where do I even start? Like we always laugh that Haley's the one that gets the jobs done. So he's there for a good time. So we had to do loads of really intense stuff, like really deep spiritual work, like really

long, like two hour meditations in that pitch black room. Loads of stuff, loads of like weird different things that I won't go into too much detail because we've got some really good juicy questions today for the agony aunt. Right, so excited. We have, the one thing though that I wanna touch on is it's your birthday this weekend.

It is, it's my birthday today. Yes, so happy birthday. Thank you babes. What are you gonna it's your birthday this weekend? It is! It's my birthday today. Yes, so happy birthday. Thank you babes. What are you going to do for your birthday? Well this is the first birthday where I'm like on my own completely and it feels really nice actually so I've been reflecting a lot obviously. I'm going to go to like a nice hotel and just chill at the beach there. I've got my Colleen Hoover books. I've bought myself some candles to do some spells, but I was like, I need to have a candle for my birthday.

So I'm going to do like a really powerful manifestation spell as my little thing to do. I normally do this stuff on New Year, but normally on my birthday I'm around people. So I thought, let's get spiritual. I'm gonna go to yoga and I'm gonna go and get a spiked. Sauna steam, head to the hotel, go and have like a beach day, come home, do a spill,

probably FaceTime my family. Very low key compared to last year, which was about a four week celebration. And me and my friend laugh because we went to Abu Dhabi for the weekend and basically ate Japanese food every day. It was just ridiculous. So it won't be a repeat of that. It will be a little bit more chilled and balanced.

Oh, I know. And also on my birthday, so on the psychic circle, which is like the membership on Patreon, I'm starting the manifestation challenge, which is 21 days. So it leads from my birthday to the spring equinox, which is really nice. I'm really excited about that. So I can't wait for that. I'm just ready to like manifest like just so much goodness in my life. Like I've got a lot already, but I'm like really excited to just focus on some, some parts of my life, which is mainly love, like relationships and those things. Cause I've done quite well manifesting work and business and I've been doing a lot of

money manifestations and freedom and like've been doing a lot of money manifestations and freedom and like the life I'm living. But I was like, I'm now ready to spend a little bit more time manifesting on like the life, like a bit more longevity, relationships and those things now, which is nice. So- Yeah, I think that'll be good.

Are you gonna come and join the group? Are you- Absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need to join the WhatsApp group. If you're on the psychic circle, you literally just can access it because you're part of it. And there's just a link on the pinned post. If you wanna come and join and manifest for 21 days

with a group of beautiful people, you just come over and join the psychic circle, which is patreon.com forward slash Jessica Marie Hellistic. You can just look at the link on my Instagram. It's seven pound a month, but it's well worth it. I think this is a great deal. Like, yeah, all the audios as well that are on there are fantastic.

It literally just comes up like you would, like a podcast would come up. Yeah. And yeah, I've loved all the audios. I've really like found a lot of love for it. And I do like to give back in ways that I can, which isn't like expensive because I do believe that we still have access to these things.

So come on over if you fancy manifesting for 21 days, you join Patreon, you join the WhatsApp group and then Manifest. Boom, boom, boom. I'm doing it now. Oh, well done. I'm there now. Right, should we get on to our questions? Honestly, I'm buzzing about this. We've had some great questions and we're loving it. A lot as well. We're loving it. You're loving it, because we have seen the engagement just jump. So, yeah, thank you everyone. We love you very much. Yeah, we really appreciate it. I thoroughly enjoyed this part. Yeah, me too. Right. Okay. So I'm going to start with this one. Okay. So, sorry, a little cough, just get ready.

Me and my husband always have the most sexual chemistry when we've been drinking. It's like we are not shy. We are more connected and we are more our true selves. How can we connect in the bedroom without alcohol? I feel we have passions we both want to show and explore and have just lost our way. Okay juicy juicy so basically when you've had a drink you're a bit more kinky and then when you're sober you're a bit more shy a little bit more frigid yeah i'm curious to know how long they've been married hmm yeah i like that there's passion. We just need to explore how we get that in

sober. Obviously there's a lot that can come up here. I will be coming more from my tantric learnings with the tarot and Sam can share from experience any of that positions that are good or give him a blow away. Jesus Christ Jess. See, I don't always like to be married and be with the same sexual partner for a long time. Yeah, that's true actually. I had a sexual partner for four years for a long time.

That was the longest and yeah, it is hard. So like, I found that he couldn't get hard when he had to drink. Like I don't feel like I've always found lovers that are passionate because they're normally- Depends how much they drink, I suppose. True, true. Yeah, probably depends how much they drink.

But I mean, I just think like what you've said there, like they clearly already have the passion. So I think that that's really nice that you already do have it. Maybe you just need to communicate more with your partner. And yeah, that might feel a little bit awkward or a little bit uncomfortable. But maybe OK, so what I would do is when you go out together and you've just and you're sitting down for dinner, for example, and you just have that one drink.

So when you've had the one drink, right, you've maybe had that little bit of confidence, you're feeling a little bit like sexy, whatever, you're dressed up, you're going out. When you've had that one drink and you're having dinner, then you could spark that conversation of like, you know what, I absolutely loved the other night. You know, like I had such a good night.

But I noticed that like, when we have those nights that have like fireworks, it is after we've been drinking and like, I'm quite happy to have that a bit more. Because I can guarantee that your other half is gonna be like, okay. Do you know what I mean? Like they're not gonna be like, oh no, I only want it when I've had a drink. Like, Do you know what I mean? Like they're not gonna be like, oh no, I only want it when I've had a drink.

Like, do you know what I mean? They're gonna want that same firework as well. So it might be quite nice that then you can go out after you've had that one drink, for example, you have that conversation, if you feel like you need the drink to have the confidence to be able to say it, and then have the conversation, stop drinking that,

or just have one more and then stop drinking that and then go from there. I like that. And I think also at the end of the day, what turns most people on is anticipation. Like that feeling of anticipation is what gets the body going. And for women, it takes longer.

Hear me out, all right? This is what my tantra teacher told me the other day. And I was like, oh my God. So we are water, women, right? And imagine like what with women, if you think about boiling a pot of water, it takes time for that water to get hot, to boil, but then it stays hot for quite a long time. It takes ages for it to cool down.

Where men are like fire, it's like it comes and it goes. Quite instant. I think a lot of the time for a lot of relationships is that the passion is boiling the water, like getting that water boiling. It's all the foreplay, which again, in tantra, foreplay should be at least 20 minutes, you know? And I think a lot of the time men are just like, wham bam, thank you, ma'am, you know? And we're not ready.

It's like, please touch me, please tickle me, please warm me up. Need warming up, yeah. And I think also like it is that sort of anticipation that maybe happens when you're drunk. So maybe there's like a bit more of like those comments or like there's a bit more touch. And it's like, how can you bring that

into like the more simple moments of your life, which is again, like the tantric ways. But also life's chaotic, life's busy. So like, it's hard sometimes when you're having a working day and it's busy to then come home and be like, okay, let's have sex in those mundane moments. But maybe when you're out and you're drinking, you're more relaxed. That means you're more open. All of a sudden, like the ego drops and you

maybe say like, yeah, I want you to like do whatever because you're a little bit more open because you don't, you know, alcohol is an excuse to say things I guess that you want to say. Yeah. But when you say, but you're scared. So also like similar to what Sam's saying, like where can you bring that energy into like your normal day, I guess? So like, you know, where do you bring that relaxation in? I do think as well, like it's show love

how you want to be loved as well. You know, like say for example, if you wanna bring a little bit more of that, like affection, let's call it affection, right? In like a week, in a normal Monday to Friday, like grab your partner, give them a little kit. You know what I mean? Like do those little things, those little bits of gesture,

like those little gestures that are gonna build a bit of anticipation and a bit of like, those little gestures that are gonna build a bit of anticipation and a bit of like, oh, you look really good today, or you look really fit today. And you know what, even sometimes, I find it's same words like that, that are a bit like, oh, you look really fit.

It's not just saying, you look really nice today. Do you know what I mean? So like, yeah, but say that to your partner and then they're probably gonna start to reciprocate it. Definitely, I'm laughing because the guy that I was traveling with last year, whenever he'd get his hair cut, I'd be like, oh God, he looks so smart.

And he's like, Jess, you make me feel like a kid. Yeah, exactly. Like, should have been like, oh, he's always sexy. Yeah, like literally, you know, like you want someone, like Andy's very good at stuff like this, to be fair to him, bless him. And I should be better to match his same energy in a sense that he's very like, you look so fit.

He's like, you look great. Like, you know, whenever I get ready, he's like, you look so good. And like, he's really, really good at that. And I think that that is something that is really important. And especially in like a marriage, when you've been with someone for, I'm gonna assume a long time,

but to keep that same energy. And I think that if you quite clearly have that passion, then I really don't see how it's gonna be, I don't see it being a problem bringing it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And also like if it is like when you've had a drink that that is like when it's more heightened. I'm not saying like drink more and do more of that, but like find parts of that that you can bring back into like your week somehow or however often you have sex. But sex is really sacred. Going back to the more spiritual element of sex, which is what we all forget about, it is the creation of life. That's what it is. That's the whole concept of it. That could be what

stops people wanting to do it. But it is really sacred and it's really special and like you know I think what's happened is it's become like this mundane task which is like outrageous really that it is that because you know because life is busy you know a long time ago we wouldn't have had all these responsibilities and distractions we We would, we would have been making sweet, sweet love all the time. Sweet, sweet love. We would though. Well, you'd be like, you'd be so bored. You'd be like. That's so true. Yeah.

Fancy a shag. Like lockdown. That's why there was so many lockdown babies. Yeah. So everyone's just shagging all the time. Totally. Yeah. When life's got busier now. So I think for this person, what I would say is, I love that you're having passionate sex and you can see when it's happening and how can you then bring

that into like the more simple parts of your life? Is it a massage? You know, and actually, do you need to like, be like clear the throat chakra and speak your truth of your partner when you're sober and tell them your sexual needs, it's your body and if you know there's certain things that work well for you, you need to tell them and actually if you do it sober, you will have more passionate sex sober. Like sober sex can be phenomenal, like spiritual sex, like the tantric lovemaking, OMG, like it goes on for hours, like they do it. Oh my God, like it goes on for hours,

but they do it. Oh my God, hours. Seven, eight hours, honestly. No, that's a day job. Well, I think it is their job, it's what they do. And they're just making loads of love, literally energetic love, where you know. Well, hats off to him.

I know, it is. I think you've got a good thing anyway, and I think we've given you plenty of tips there to be able to bring it forward a bit more. Yeah. But yeah, be keen to know how you get on. Yeah. Good luck. You've got this. And if not, go and do some tantra and that will help. Yeah. Okay. So next one. So I've been trying to get pregnant for several years now but have sadly been unsuccessful. Jess mentioned in your last episode about soul contracts

between a mom and a baby and that the baby chooses for you to be its mom. Is there something wrong with my soul as a reason I haven't been chosen? Is there something I can do to attract a baby? Or is it just patience that I need? My friends have suggested IVF. Does that affect soul contracts? Is it interfering with fate? I'd love some guidance. Wow. That's a really, really good question. So thank you to whoever submitted this.

So firstly, you're doing nothing wrong, but please do not think you're doing anything wrong. That is not the case. So a couple of things, right? So contracts, there's no limitation. It just, it's just decisions in those moments. And some people will just have bigger sole contracts. Like you will have a baby. Like whoever this person is, you will have a baby. I feel that for you. It's now just a case of working out how you do that. A couple of things you can do. So first of all, in regards to IVF,

let me just share my perspective on that, okay? Because on a spiritual level, like it's a very scientific thing, but your soul chose to be born into a world where there is these things available to you. So there's a reason why you're here and the IVF is there. And that means that that soul still exists and will still come together and will connect with you.

So do not rule out IVF for the soul contracts. It's absolutely there to with you. So do not rule out IVF for the soul contracts. It's absolutely there to help you. Okay. Because if you were born, you know, a hundred years ago and you couldn't conceive, you wouldn't have become a parent then. But you chose to come into the world where these things are available. Okay. So definitely look into IVF. With infertility, like when things are coming up and you're not able to fall pregnant, like there are some things you can do to connect with the soul and this is something that a lot of healers do with women, is meditations to help you connect

to the soul. The person who this is, message me because I can refer you to someone who does a lot of work with women on this stuff. So just reach out to me if you want to. But you can do soul meditations where you're able to connect to the soul of the child and say that I'm ready for you, I welcome you and like when you're ready like come into the world. You may have just a little bit of energy misalignment in the body which is really normal for women and men, like all of us. Life's busy, life's chaotic, there could be some things suppressed. So energy work will really help you. So reiki healing, acupuncture, those sorts of things. But be kind to yourself. Like you've done nothing wrong, this is not a punishment. This is just

a case of you looking at your options and what you need to do with this work. But if IVF is something you want to do, I would definitely do it. I'm just going to pull a card for you on this. Yeah, we've got the Ace of Wands. There's a new beginning coming here and it's in a more spiritual way because the wands is a spiritual energy. So holistic therapies for you is key. And like I say, I've got people I can refer. So just, and anyone listening that wants that, just message. You're fine. You've got this. You're not doing anything wrong. the sole contract is there, this baby's ready, it's just a case of just getting the body prepared for it now in a more holistic way.

I think that's beautiful. I think that's really nice. Yeah. I think as well, like for someone who's done fertility treatment and has got two babies out of it, those babies were meant for me. Absolutely. There's no two ways about it.

Like they were meant to be my babies and they were meant to be twins. And they were meant to come in this world together. And maybe if I'd have conceived naturally, maybe that wouldn't have happened that way. So that's why it had to happen the way that it happened. Exactly. And for me, somebody who was trying to get pregnant

and it didn't work and it worked, you know, in a unnatural way, let's say, the timing of it was perfect when it did happen. So timing is also everything, and it's a horrible thing to feel when you're in that frustration of like, why is it not happening now? It would have been perfect if it happened now

because this would have happened and it would have been at this time, but actually when it does happen Something in your brain will go. Ah, that's why it happened now. Yeah Yeah, it is it is hard and it's disheartening But I promise you that when it all comes together the timing will feel right and you will understand eventually Why it's happened the way it's happened and then when when you have that baby, it'll all make sense. And you do just have to continue with that hope and that positivity, which isn't always easy to do.

I completely appreciate that. But I 1000% back acupuncture, because I really think for me that was a turning point. Yeah, acupuncture's unbelievable for working with energy. It's the Chinese medicine approach, which I'm a massive believer in. And also like with astrology, like when you come into the world and take your first breath, there's your roadmap for your soul and your life. And this baby will already know where their roadmap is and they're just waiting for the right time. So yeah, you will bring a little baby into the world.

So send in your loads of love, whoever you are. Yeah, definitely. And again, if you wanna reach out to either of us, please do because we're always here to help with that. So the next one I've got is, I've been single for about two years, narcissistic ex, which took me a while. I think that means like,

there's a reason why I've been single for two years, had a narcissistic ex, which has taken me a while, but I feel like I've left that behind. I'm wondering if there's anything blocking me from finding someone. I'm dating if there's anything blocking me from finding someone. I'm dating slash trying to put myself out there in real life dating events. I'm heading to Italy and Amsterdam in the summer.

What is it just time for me to focus on me? Okay, let's have a little look at the card. So what's blocking you? What is the thing that's stopping you? Okay. And then what's the outcome? Okay. So we've got the two of swords and the four of pentacles. So what this tells me is you're slightly indecisive of what you really want. You're not fully sure on what it is you actually desire. And I think with your ex being narcissistic and by that probably emotionally controlling,

like finding yourself again has probably been like your main priority over the last two years. Now, I don't know if you've been dating much, but you might find sometimes you might see traits of that sort of person in people you date. So like I would definitely get out there like you're doing, but just be a bit cautious because it still feels like you could sort of, not necessarily attract that again, but it's not fully clear what you want from your relationships yet. So I would spend some time writing down, not a list, but sort of but a bit like I was saying at the start of the podcast, manifesting. If you're manifesting relationships and love, which is more my priority

now, I'm really thinking about the traits of that person. How do I want to feel? What are the values? More of those emotional softer. So I would say spend some time thinking about that. Cause I don't think you're fully clear on what you want yet. Um, and there could be a pattern that you've not broken. Cause I think that's what they're showing me. And I don't know if this also connects to like a parent as well. Like there's maybe a parent with a similar trait to what your ex had. And it's sort of like all you've known as love is this dynamic and it's like relearning again. The four of pentacles can be sort of

maybe feeling like you're holding onto things still, okay? So as much as you might feel like you've healed, maybe there's a little bit more work to do. So sorry, it's always a bit annoying when someone says that. So I would definitely focus on yourself, but I would also get out there, but in a cautious way and in a more like, what's the word, not in tune. Oh, bloody hell. When you're doing something with,

oh my God, this word has left my head. Intention. Thank you, intention. God, this word has left my head. Intention. Thank you. Intention. Samantha, you are psychic. Everyone was like, intention, intention. I hate when someone forgets their words when listening back.

It's like more conscious intention with your dating and working on yourself at the same time, bringing the two together because there's still some stuff you've got to work out on your energy. That's my advice there. But yeah, it's hard to being single sometimes. Can feel a bit lonely.

Yeah, but, yeah. Like, you know, I think, I always think as well, like focus on you a bit and make sure that you are the person that you want to be in that, so for example, whatever you've done, what Jess has done, you've decided the type of partner that you wanna attract, you're quite clear on what it is that you're looking for in a future partner,

but also think about how you want to be in that relationship. What do you want to give to that relationship and make sure that you are right now that person that can step into that relationship and be that person. Because maybe you do need to do some more work on yourself as well. Like there could be certain attributes

that you want to give to a relationship. We were just talking before about, you know, giving words of affirmation. Are you the type of person that does that currently? Are you not? Like, can you start practicing that? Can you become that person that you want to be and show up in that relationship?

And I think if there's anything that you can feel that you can work on on yourself, then do it now and become that person that when that relationship does come, you don't let it pass you by because you are a really good version of yourself. I think so. And I think that's something like being single. Like I think now, like my single life,

like there's been like people sort of chunks of like, sort of dating longer term sit choose and whatever, and gaps have been single. I found my gaps have been single so much more like harmonious for me. I feel like I'm able to really do the work on me. Especially since the summer, September last year when things ended, it gave me a lot of time to focus on me, how I show up in relationships and all that stuff.

I definitely think what Sam's saying is important. And I think sometimes when you're single, this is what comes up for me. It's like, you kind of feel like you're always sort of on the lookout for a relationship in a way. And it's like, oh, like I wish I could just be and just focus on me. And I think it's quite hard as a woman to do that at times

because we've got a biological clock and there's societal pressures and all those things. But I just think, yeah, like showing up as the best version of yourself is honoring yourself, isn't it? And I think I've only really learned that recently. Yeah, I think it takes time. And I think like what you've just said,

I think you've been able to do that because you have the ability and you have worked on yourself to be able to look inward. And not many people can do that. They might look at situations and be like, oh, look what's happened to me. Oh, this person, this has happened. Oh, I've had this happen, this happened.

And it's like, well, no, like I just said, like look at yourself and make sure that you're the person that can give so much to someone else as well. Like a relationship works both ways. I know someone else will be looking for someone like you as well. And I think also like my ex-boyfriend was like really emotionally controlling to me

and had definitely had like traits of narcissism. I won't call him a narcissist because I don't think that's fair. But like it took me a really long time to recover from that. Like he had like a full-blown affair, he cheated on me. There was so much pain that came from that relationship. Like it took me quite a long time to rebuild from that. And in the meantime, partners that I dated did have those traits. Like I hadn't fully healed that part of me. And like it's taken me years, like honestly, I'm not saying it's going to take you years, but I hope it doesn't. I just wasn't willing to face like the fact that I ignored red flags, that I allowed him quite early on to be manipulative,

you know, and even in other relationships I've had that. So it's just sort of being a bit honest with yourself, which I definitely wasn't, and I've started to get a lot more honest at my own red flags, which is like, let me fix you. It's the spiritual archetype of a woman when it comes to dating, and I'm like, oh, fuck that. I think, spiritual archetype of a woman when it comes to dating and I'm like, oh, fuck that. I think, you know, I try and fix enough people. Don't need that

in my relationship. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. 100%. So yeah. Hell yeah. So hell yeah. Shall I do one more? Yeah, let's do it.

Okay. I've been made redundant at eight months pregnant. Fuck me, that's hard. I know. And living abroad with my partner and toddler. I'm unsure where my future is heading and whether I should consider a career change to support my family. I'm currently the main earner in our relationship, sorry, in our partnership by my career path. Sorry, some of this just isn't spelled right. But my career path feels rocky and uncertain.

Okay, that's really tough. Really tough, eight months pregnant, being made redundant and living abroad. And I'm going to just assume, I genuinely don't know, but I'm gonna assume that you live in Dubai because it's probably some, there is the place where that could happen, unfortunately. Yeah.

So living abroad with a partner and a toddler is brutal. Absolutely brutal. So can I, sorry, I've got some messages coming through for this person. I feel like you've got a plan. I think you know what you want to do and I think there's another path for you and you've been scared to do it and now this is going to force you to do it. That's what comes up for me straight away. Oh, that's exciting. So there's like a side hustle energy or something they've trained in or they're going to train

in that's going to bring like this new option because I've got the ace of cups. So I think this person helps people, they care, they care about people, they want to help people. There's something about that and I think it's that they're going to push and make this happen. You have got the Strength cards. There is an element of staying strong through all of this, which is something I think this person's very good at. And we also have the justice card, which is balance. This isn't gonna be chaotic for you, okay? This is gonna be all right. But it's now about you really following your heart

on your career. I love that. You know, I was just, all I was thinking as well, the whole time you were speaking is, and it's very easy for us to say this from this position and not the position that you're in, but it's happening for you, it's not happening to you. Yeah, no different.

There is a bigger reason behind this and it's gonna push you for something way better. But it sounds like what Jess said, like that you already know maybe what your next move is and just having some confidence in backing yourself with that. Yeah, it just, there's something that there's like another path that's actually clearer.

And it might be clear to you, it's just like, oh my God. And obviously if you're the breadwinner, taking that risk feels quite scary. But right now there isn't any other options really. You know, you're gonna have a bit of time with the baby. You are gonna be off for a little while. like it is an opportunity to like refresh and restart. And in astrology this year, this is the biggest year for transformation. So the energy is going to force a lot of people to transform this year and to like push you on paths that you just couldn't even comprehend,

you know, you couldn't even visualize that sort of energy. So yeah, good luck. You're fine. You're absolutely fine. I'm not worried like energetically. As soon as I read it, I felt sad for you, but I wasn't worried for you. I feel like this will be solved quite quickly. Oh, amazing. Love that. Well, thank you so much everybody for listening to this week's episode. Thank you for sending in your anonymous messages and please keep doing it

because we love this part of the podcast. We know how much you do too. And we just wanna keep helping as many people as possible. So yeah, if you want to write in a anonymous question, then go to our Instagram at spiritually speaking underscore podcast and, excuse me, and you will, that's a coffin there, and you will find the link in our bio

as to where you can write your anonymous questions. Amazing, well done, babe. You know why I paused then? Because we're about to say our Instagram names and Jess keeps telling me that I need to change my Instagram name and I was thinking, can't keep saying what it is and now I'm going to have to change it. That's alright, let's see what it is for now and maybe by the next episode you'll have

a new Instagram name. Okay, at her by Samantha Green and she is at jessicamery.wndsc holistic. Thanks everyone for listening, we love you loads, thanks for the questions. I hope that there's some passionate sex happening for all of us in our own ways. Let's manifest it and yeah, feel the feels. Bye! Bye!