Spiritually Speaking with Jessica & Samantha - Winter Solstice Wisdom: Reflect, Release, and Renew for 2025

Episode Date: December 20, 2024

This week on Spiritually Speaking, we honor the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year, and a powerful time for reflection and renewal. As the year draws to a close, we pause to look back on what this year has taught us and set intentions for the new one ahead.In this episode, we explore four meaningful questions to guide your solstice reflections:What have you learned about yourself this year that surprised you the most?If you could describe 2025 in one word or theme, what would it be and why?What was the darkest moment of this year, and how did you find your way through it?What intention are you carrying into the new year?Through these questions, we dive into the themes of light and shadow, endings and beginnings, and how to use this potent solstice energy to reflect, heal, and grow. We also share our own answers to these questions, creating space for vulnerability, connection, and inspiration.The Winter Solstice reminds us that even in our darkest moments, the promise of light is always ahead. Join us for this reflective and uplifting conversation to honor your journey and step into 2025 with clarity and intention.

hello and welcome back to spiritually speaking with me sam and with me jess welcome back yeah welcome back it's almost christmas it's almost christmas vibes i'm definitely feeling christmasy now are you you know what i was just about to ask you that obviously being home i think you do feel it i don't know if i actually do feel that Christmassy I think my like run up to Christmas has really changed now because it used to be associated with like being so busy in the salon and feeling like physically and mentally drained from like working so much and like now it's quite different so like on the way to I'm in work now but on the way to the salon this morning I like put Christmas songs on in the car because I was like I need to get now but on the way to the salon this morning I like put Christmas songs on in

the car because I was like I need to get like fully in the spirit like and I do feel Christmassy I've done Christmas activities I've had my tree up for like six weeks um like I am definitely in the Christmas spirit but I just think that my run-up to feeling Christmassy has changed yeah I get that sorry everyone I'm just gonna connect my headphones because I'm unorganized realize I've not got them in that's all right honey um yeah I'm feeling Christmassy it's very um like the I'm feeling London was good it helped me get Christmassy that was nice oh London is so christmasy yeah and i feel like i went there when did i go on wednesday with my sister and we did tower of london and they had like a christmas

um like exhibition and they had christmas trees but they had like christmas music but the carols on that piano and it was really beautiful so that made me feel really christmasy and we went down carnaby street oxford street and all the lights were up and I was like oh this is brilliant oh yeah and I watched my nephew's nativity play so cute um who was he in the nativity he was a shepherd so you know it was called it was called the simple nativity. And basically, like each class, one was like a shepherd, like as a class. One was like the donkey. Oh, right. Okay.

Yeah. And then the kings, I don't know. Do you remember what you were? So we, I didn't go to a religious school. And I think we had like one nativity. And then they changed it. And we would do ones in like the middle of the year and we did more like not pantomimes but um oh okay and I was the main character I can't remember what it was the Pied

Piper oh main character energy yes I was the Pied Piper and I would like sing I knew all my lines like yeah so we used to do stuff like that what was was you? Was you like a star or an angel? I was a star. Yeah, of course you were. I think the one year I was, I wasn't a bloody star. And I was like, it was all the pretty blonde girls with the angels and stars. And I was like, oh.

No, I thought the star was going to be like a shit one because you're just this fucking star. Really? I just feel like. Oh, so I was a good one. I just remember sort of all, I was never like a shy, tim little girl I was always confident so I feel like they gave me like the innkeeper or like some sort of like boy role and all the pretty girls in their little angel dresses and stars

and I'd be looking and thinking oh for fuck's sake that's so funny I don't know what's really funny as well my mum will be listening to this she spent the entire nativity watching another child oh no it was me yeah it's hard though sometimes with all the outfits so yeah yeah let her off um apparently we had very similar hair um but yeah it's so funny but yeah it's nice to feel christmasy it is the sound's got a lovely buzz to it as well like it's so busy and it's like got the music on and it's it's nice yeah it's it's a nice vibe definitely yeah it's good it is nice i definitely like like yesterday i went around my nan's for like afternoon tea and she does like gives us all christmas decorations and like which is really lovely so like i definitely feel like being home gets you more into the Christmas spirit. Yeah.

I think last year I flew on Christmas Eve from Dubai to the UK and I just didn't feel Christmassy. Because you didn't have that run up to it. I just think like, it's cold here. Like there's Christmas music everywhere. The kids are all excited. and I think obviously in Dubai where it's like sort of an expat community you've got all different religions there so like

of course Christmas is strong but it's there's lots of people that don't celebrate it you know and it's also not like it's not a bank holiday here so like I could have the salon open yeah on Christmas day like so everything will just will just run as normal here on Christmas day. And even me and Andy went to the mall at the weekend, Dubai Hills Mall, and they were putting up the Christmas decorations. I was like, what? Why haven't these been up earlier?

They normally do it after National Day, don't they? On the 3rd or 4th, whenever it is. Yeah, true. But like, what is it today? It's the 16th today so it was on the 14th that then they were up and I was a bit like that's a bit of a shame you'd have expected them to have been up a bit earlier but I remember it's definitely not as Christmassy it's got a lot better since I first moved here a lot better um like they have things on now you

know like they have the um the markets of the madonna stuff like that like there is a lot more on um but yeah it's not the same it's not in your face the same way that it is in the uk yeah and i do love christmas i'm a real like sucker for it i love it yeah what are you doing this christmas like what's the plan with the girls so i don't 100% know there isn't a there's no plan that we have that is set in stone but we are definitely going to have it at our house because we've never had a Christmas in our own home before um so that's really exciting yeah we've stayed so we've lived in Dubai now for six and a half years we've had seven Christmases here I think I've only gone home for maybe two or three max maximum three Christmases um so we just love Christmas here

like I know what I've just said there about how it doesn't feel as Christmassy but I think for me staying is so much more relaxing because before obviously I was working so much and I'd be so chaotic working and then fly home and then I'd get sick from being like just drained whatever and I just think staying here is just so relaxing it's quieter and the weather's amazing and me and Andy just love that as like our time together and like our family are more than welcome to come over but they have other you know commitments at home to why they wouldn't but um we just love having that time for ourselves really and I think one thing I would say in the UK like once Christmas is done there's a real lull isn't there yeah whereas here you don't

get that same lull because obviously the weather's really nice and it's still really quiet to go out and about and yeah so so for Christmas day we're gonna have it with the girls with the dog at home but we definitely need to get out of the house because staying in the house all day is not fun um so we will definitely get out but I don't know exactly what one of my friends has just had a baby she lives down the road so we can't even walk to her so we'll probably do that um and go and see her and her family um so yeah I'm not really sure to be honest new traditions this year absolutely that's nice see what happens go with the flow yeah

exactly yeah go with the flow and just take it as it comes um boxing day we always go um I say we always I think we've done it for the last few years we go and do a brunch on boxing day so that'll be fun yeah so I'm looking forward to that there's quite a lot of us like 16 of us doing a brunch um so be a bit chaotic but it'll be fun what are you doing Christmas day so we're hosting Christmas day at my parents um and me and my dad are the chefs we like cooking the Christmas dinner so that's good so we've got that planned and so I've got two sisters and their kids so one sister likes to do Christmas on her own a bit more like you guys so we'll go around see them in the morning have breakfast with them see the the kids, do presents,

come back and, you know, get sorted for Christmas. I'm already like on a mission with prep. So Christmas Eve will be like peeling and everything. We're going to Borough Market a couple of days. Yeah, you've given me the idea to do this because I've never done that before. But I feel like it's such a good idea. Peel the potatoes, peel the veg, put them in bowls of water.

So then you can just get, because it's all about timing. It's not complicated roast dinner. It's just about being organised and I can do that. So yeah, which would be nice. And then, yeah, we're going to Borough Market, me and my dad, a couple of days before Christmas to get some nice cheese and bits like that, which will be lovely i love the cheese balls yeah i actually got most of my cheese from aldi this year because it's actually really good and they have loads of variety there and i know so it's like that's good and i am like i'd say i'm well known for my cheese ball everyone's

like oh i can't wait for jess's cheese ball and i'm like oh I just love it um so that's good I'll take a little picture of it I was gonna say I want to see a picture of this cheese board I just really go for it this is the first year in my adult life that I've been able to eat cheese as well for Christmas like in general yeah so is your dairy stuff gone now since having the girls so since having the girls I've not had a reaction to dairy funny isn't it it's crazy what the body does I know it's absolutely wild I mean don't get me wrong I'm a bit scared I don't know if I would full-on go and eat some cheese on crackers but at the same time I've had a pizza and I've been fine so well I definitely have an intolerance to dairy but I just fight through it when it comes to a cheese ball, in all honesty.

And I think most people are still probably the same. Absolutely. I don't think our bodies are meant to digest it, in all honesty. But yeah, I think everybody probably has a little bit of an intolerance, some more than others. And then obviously some have allergies. But mine was always, I think, more of like a very strong intolerance. Well, probably was an allergy, actually. My friend who's a doctor would disagree with me that because um I do like really struggle with my breathing okay yeah when I'd have it so yeah probably it's more of an allergy but not so much

now anyway I actually have got a bit of an allergy that I've found since being older um and it's a certain peanut and it's it's in like like you know sort of when it's got like the red um yes I do know what you mean yeah if I eat them or like they're cooked the the oil sometimes then my throat gets a bit like tight um like it doesn't close up but it's just like I've got a little bit of a sore throat and it always happens when I be careful with that yeah and it's only something because an adult right in the last year my dad became allergic to fruit when he was like in his 40s or 50s mad yeah I think he's making that up he just doesn't want to eat fruit anymore honestly I remember being sat at a table with him and he ate an apple and all of a sudden he was like

yeah like that his throat was fully like closing so bad mad isn't it so yeah but anyway digress a little bit yeah sorry no but that's that's the Christmas there's not you know we're at my sister's house the other one oh nice they've got the biggest house so we all go around there there's like loads of us and carnage yeah I love it yeah that's nice so yeah and then I really enjoy the time after Christmas so I like to just take it easy go for walks there's loads of leftovers um spend time with my parents which I really enjoy because we just it's just a really relaxing time I find it is it is a relaxing time yeah definitely and then obviously yeah just sort of I'm gonna fly out to Dubai around the 5th of Jan um so I'll be embracing

it knowing I'm leaving but if not I used to find January the by far and February just really difficult months in the UK yeah they are especially in the UK absolutely yeah like you say when you wake up when you go to sleep yes it's not an enjoyable time so cold I feel like it's the coldest like so cold those times of the year honestly like I know you're gonna hate me for saying this but it's quite cold here in the mornings I felt cold when I came back for the few days yeah in like saying this but it's quite cold here in the mornings I felt cold when I came back for a few days yeah in like in the mornings it's really quite cold like I've had to put blankets on the girls um I put socks on them the other day and they literally looked at their

feet and they were like what is this I've never worn these before yeah yeah I've been struggling with the weather here and it hasn't been like probably that cold but I just think I don't know I just can't handle it babes no I won't do you know what yesterday I said to my mum I'm not made for this weather I'm not made for this country because we were going to my nans and I was like I've got no nice clothes and I was like I always feel really nice especially in Thailand I feel like I'm always just wearing my linen and my shorts and floaty shirts. I was like, my skin's always nice. My hair looks nice. And I was like, here, I've got dry skin.

Like, it's going to sound gross, but it's so cold sometimes that when I have a shower, I'm like, it's so cold in the house, even if the heating's on, that I dread having a shower. Yes. And I'm like, in Dubai, I'll just shower. Because it's taking your clothes off because you're freezing getting out of the shower oh god it's brutal so I feel like yeah I'm like am I a bit smelly you know I just and my hair doesn't dry as nice here like where I've got so much hair when I'm overseas and it's hot my hair dry and it does go a bit crazy sometimes but I don't have to touch

a hairdryer let it dry naturally yeah so yeah so but I don't have to touch a hair dryer naturally yeah so yeah so I was like I just feel like a minger um and she was like you do look a bit like a minger and I was like I do I did no I didn't look my best yesterday and I thought I know but it involves so much more effort in the UK to look good because I agree there's lots of things where I just think when you've got a tan and the sun's shining you instantly look better we all know it when we're on holiday I agree so yeah absolutely 100% so babe should we talk about what we're going to do today with the the theme of this Christmas special so we're going to touch on like the winter solstice which is the celebration that's the

more spiritual celebration for this time of year and it can also be known as yule um and it's normally around the 21st or the 22nd and it symbolizes the return of the light after the darkest period of the year um and you know the reason that this is a more spiritual celebration is because it's to do with like the earth the seasons and the cycles and it does make sense for this time of year how we sort of look at Christmas and New Year but this is um it's it's a really special time to sort of look inward let go of the past and set intentions for the coming year. And I know that we've spoke about the new year before and, you know, new year, new me. And, you know, it's not about that.

It's just about having a bit of a moment for you to kind of think about the last 12 months. I think it's really important to do that. And I always say we do it with the moon cycles, you know, and things like that. And when we set an intention intention that's not a resolution like an intention is maybe you know something with a bit more longevity something more about your um it's not necessarily a habit because sometimes resolutions is like I'm no longer going to drink alcohol for January or

whatever it is an intention is like more of a lifestyle sort of thing or something that's going to like grow throughout the year and like evolve throughout the year for you so that's sort of where when I think of an intention so um we're going to ask each other some questions because we thought it'd be good to do a bit of like an interview style for us to actually just do the ritual and you guys can sort of sort of experience it you can also think for yourself about what would your answer be and we're going to put this on instagram so you can see the questions um so that you can start going into this sort of winter solstice with a lot of reflection a lot of intention for next year and just a little moment for you because this time of winter solstice with a lot of reflection a lot of intention for next year

and just a little moment for you because this time of year is crazy you know it is is the pressures that we were talking about it before we started recording and sometimes I think we should just press record as soon as we start because everyone would just get all the juice wouldn't they yeah yeah I was thinking that actually because I was thinking so many people be able to relate yeah I was basically just saying to Jess that I feel as though I'm being pulled in a million different directions at the moment and as lovely as it is to be surrounded by so much love and you know so many people it can be extremely draining and physically just you know when I was trying to I said this before to suggest I feel touched out like I'm constantly holding a baby and then I've

got a baby touching my face if I'm holding one baby the other one's touching my face and then I just feel like I'm never on my own I'm never like yeah do you know what I mean so I just feel like I'm and I think I've what as I've maybe I've become more aware of it but I'm just somebody who does need to just actually just like sit on their own for a minute or you know like I am a very like tactile person but at the same time I think sometimes I'm just like oh my god just I need I need five minutes you know I've actually started loving doing as well is when the girls go down I put my earphones in so then it's like I say no one else can talk to me poor Andy like he's the only one there you know I put my earphones in and I just tidy up yeah and I love that and I'm like I just need

that you know what it probably also is and I love my nanny more than anything in the world but it's probably also because I obviously have a nanny now so she's also in the house a lot yeah so there's constantly people in my house and in my space yeah and um now obviously I've got a such bigger team at work they obviously need me so much more yeah as well um yeah it's a lot and I think a lot of a lot of women will be able to relate to you Sam because yeah whether they've got you know businesses or one kid or no kids or five kids whatever I think there's a lot of pressure this time of year to show up when you don't always want to and you know yeah whether it's socially for your family in your job you know relationships friendships there is such a pressure to to sort of show up and and and it is exhausting

and and it does kind of go against the grain of the energy of this time of year which is more about sort of in our reflection and you know hibernation which is always what I talk about for this time of year um so no wonder we get tired and burnt out yeah we eat loads of food and drink more you know we just we're not actually our best selves so no I totally get that and I think that you know this is you know I was saying this to Sam for obviously I I'm not I don't know what it's like to have twins but you know they're sort of they're at the stage before walking where they're gonna be just that little bit like you know and yeah it's intense I'd say right now is probably the hardest that I found it so far and every friend that I've got that's got like a child that's older than mine I'm like

is this normal and they're like yeah like it's completely normal and yeah you know and but I see people who do have just one and they're like oh you know we didn't we never really got that or I'm thinking but it probably is because you've got one because I can see in one of mine at the moment is a lot easier than the other and then sometimes it changes um so yeah it just is quite intense and now i've got it where they sit they share a room and river keeps waking up screaming and then she goes back to sleep what happens when she does that she wakes blake up then what happens blake can't go back to sleep so then blake is hysterical because she can't go back to sleep. River, blissfully unaware, fast asleep. And I'm like, oh, God. That's hard.

So, yeah. Luckily, it doesn't happen at night. At night, it's amazing, but it's just during the day. But, yeah. Maybe you keep one of them in a different room for day naps. Yeah. We have started separating them now during the day. Yesterday, we were just in a rush, so we didn't.

And then it obviously backfired, so. Yeah. Oh, bless them oh little sweeties aren't they bless them yeah exactly no they are they're very cute and they're coming up to turning one as well so um once they are I mean they're crawling now but once they are walking it'd probably be a little bit easier even yeah well yeah I think that they get frustrated don't they and even just having the garden and being like in the garden when they can actually move it burns a bit of energy you know and yeah

sort of knacker them out a bit more when they move but then it's also knackering for you but it's you know you've got this yeah definitely really well thanks my love yeah thank you so should we crack up with our questions yeah so should I ask you first yeah go on then okay so what have you learned about yourself this year that surprised you the most okay and in all honesty I've not thought about any of these questions so this is me being raw and no I haven't either yeah okay so I think I've probably learned how like brave I am in all honesty. And I don't think I realized I was as brave as I thought. I also think I've been more disciplined this year. And I would never really use the word discipline as something with me. People say I'm organized,

but I don't describe yourself. Yeah. Yeah. So I'd say like. I agree with that, actually. Yeah. I just think the way that. With you, a hundred percent. I really do agree. Yeah. I've just, and actually the podcast has been a very big part of that because I wasn't, I woke up and I was like, what am I doing today? And obviously I had my clients and things, but the podcast became this first thing that was like every week. And I was like, what am I doing today? And obviously I had my clients and things, but the podcast became this first thing that was like every week. And I was like, oh God, this is such a commitment.

And I know everyone else has like commitments every day, but I don't like the way I live. It's just not like that. Yeah. And I was very avoidant of it. And actually it's been like the best thing for me. And then it's brought in this discipline with so many other ways that I work now, like Patreon, all this stuff.

And yeah, I would say I'm the most surprised about that because I don't think I realized um that it made my life easier um and it it's more productive it's more efficient and I still have so much freedom I thought discipline took away freedom but it doesn't um So definitely that. And the bravery is more just up with the traveling and sort of experiencing different things and pushing myself out my comfort zone. You know, when I was in my early 20s, I was so anxious, you know, I couldn't leave the house without thinking, did I leave the oven on? I'm going to burn down the block of flats. You know, I was a wreck doing wreck doing anything you know and had such intrusive faults so to go and do like some of the stuff I've done I'm like oh my god like I can't believe I've done that and I'm pleased I'm doing it now because I think every year I just want to keep that bit of bravery expanding you know it doesn't mean I've got to go and do crazy stuff but I think it's like a muscle and it feels better again to have that a bit more stronger so yes they're they're the things I'd say that have surprised me the most um and I and I think they're things I'll

keep with me forever now which is really nice yeah I think you've had such a big year with stuff like that I think it's amazing what you've done um but discipline I would 100% agree I feel like you've instilled a lot of boundaries as well this year yes yeah you're right I have a lot of boundaries a lot of self-worth um someone said to me the other day you just seem really at peace and I I said, yeah, I am. And they said, I can feel it. And they said, you know, I always felt, you know, with your work and everything, obviously you were always very authentic.

They're like, but you just feel at peace with life now. And I was like, I am. And, you know, it's a lovely feeling to have that. And I think this year's brought a lot of that which is nice yeah oh yeah for you so Samantha I'll ask you the same question but what have you learned about yourself this year that surprised you the most oh um oh my god I feel like I should have prepped for this what have I learned about myself that surprised me the most um I've learned that I could do even more than I already could than I was already doing I thought I was at my max for like maybe what I could achieve or what was capable what I was

capable of and I've learned that actually I can do more um what I have learned in that is that you have to take a step back in other places to be able to take a step forward in other areas of your life um and what I mean by that is you know I feel like I have taken a little bit of a step back in whether it be obviously doing hair I'm not doing hair anymore so then I've had more time to be able to focus on my business and then I've grown my business um just as an example um I've learned that I am a lot you know what I've always known I've been organized but I am very good at being organized and being on it with the way that I have brought, cared for the girls, basically brought the girls up. You have to be so organized having twins. So that has definitely helped me.

I think what probably surprised me the most was actually how much i have changed in a year yeah i don't think i ever expected to change myself i think it would just i always just assumed it would just be me and then two little people with me and i actually feel like i'm a completely different person sitting here than who was sat here last year um and I'm happy with that I'm at peace with that yeah definitely that's beautiful yeah and I think also for you like you've you've surrendered a lot more um and sort of made like you're comfortable when things are out of your control go my way yeah yeah I've definitely noticed that in you yeah yeah and yeah that's a big thing that I've learned like I've learned to just go with the

flow a bit more and that not everything is going to go the way that I thought it was going to go and I don't have control over everything but that's okay it's just funny because we've both kind of taken parts of each other I think this year yeah that's so true because I've always been so inspired by like your discipline and like your action and ambition and you've always been like just you know you're so calm or relaxed and we've both kind of yeah we have actually that's quite funny yeah we've kind of balanced each other out and I love that so yeah and that's our Pisces sun and moon conjunct I think flowing yeah nicely yeah but it's cute I didn't even think of that yeah yeah it's lovely

okay I'm gonna ask you this question first okay keep going so if you could describe 2024 in one word or theme what would it be and why um huge transformative I don't know just epic probably um the theme would be change because I feel yeah I'd say change the theme would be change every aspect of my life has changed every aspect there's not one thing that stayed the same even my relationship has changed like with Andy like in the best way like we have always had an extremely strong connection and bond but even now I feel like we communicate so much better than we even did before um because we've had to learn to communicate even better now

having the girls and having so many moving parts going on constantly you have to constantly check in with each other i've changed in myself i've changed my family's changed my grandma's passed away like um everything has changed in that sense i don't have any grandparents now um my sister's now a mum as well so like a lot of a lot has changed a lot whether it be my work obviously is completely done a 360 like yeah change yeah I think so I think that's a good word yeah describe it yeah yeah massive massive change um because I just think I keep thinking like this time last year if you'd have said to me what would have happened in a year I'd have just been like how yeah well

we started the podcast I think like this time last year we yeah this comes out pretty much released it on the 21st yeah so it's like you know a lot has happened in the last year it is crazy and sorry even with that like when we first started recording the podcast we spent loads of money we hired out this beautiful studio to record it because we were like this is how we have to do it and like that wasn't the case at all no um so even the podcast has completely changed as well like yeah and I think when we started it was like you know we didn't know what we were doing so we just sort of I think I was probably a bit more like full ball and now I'm off who cares I'm just here to talk yeah absolutely but I think it takes time and it's really nice and yeah so now I totally get that babes I'm proud of us for sticking at it

as well because I feel like a lot of people start podcasts and don't stick to them and yeah there's nothing wrong with that at all like give it a go see if you like it but I am really glad that we have stuck at it because I do really enjoy it I also love the idea of like one day looking back on it or listening back to it yeah that's really nice it's almost like a little time capsule yeah it is it's lovely it's like a little diary yeah and what would your word for 2024 be um I think it would be like like freedom or like liberation like this kind of like this feeling of like I felt so free this year um that I've never really felt before. I also think transformation is, and similar to you, change.

I think, you know, it has been a year of big transformation. But it's been easier, in all honesty. Like I've had harder years. I've had heavier years. And I think, you know, probably like 2023, if you said what was my word, I'd be like heavy, you know, like it wouldn't have been a great year. But I just, yeah, I think it's been a really fun year, lots of new experiences lots of change and I think that yeah it's taken

I don't know it's all paid off to be honest with you you know I've taken a few risks it's paid off so then I'm sitting here like you know these risks might not have paid off but they did um so yeah it's been a really like probably one of the best years of my life in all honesty I think this is yeah I feel like I'm honoring who I am I'm setting my boundaries I'm not a people pleaser like I was so I'm definitely like living for me now um and I'd say yeah I've probably done that at the age of 30 that's so nice so yeah so that would be I love that yeah yeah what would you say has been your darkest moment of this year and how did you find your way through it so like this one I feel like these ones are easier for me to just quickly pinpoint which is sometimes weird but I just can go to the heavy stuff so I would say around just before my birthday so that March

um work was really quiet um I've spoken about this before and I'd like never had that before um and I just was questioning everything with what I wanted to do uh with my readings and you know it was probably the first time in my life that it wasn't about my love life that was causing me issues or like a breakup because I feel like because yeah I'm very sensitive like a lot of my darkest moments have become happened because of a man um where this was like oh this is slightly different um um so that that was hard and it actually showed me that I was outgrowing a lot of things and had to make changes. So that was quite heavy.

And I feel a little bit like that's a bit of a useless one. And normally there's just so much more darkness, but there has to be. I don't think that's useless at all. I actually think it's really nice that that is just something. Because, like, if I'd have asked you that question a few years ago, like you say, your answer would have been very, very different. that's useless at all I actually think it's really nice that that is just something because like if I'd have asked you that question a few years ago like you say your answer would have been very very different so it's just that that this year that's just gone was just a slightly lighter year for you I'd be honest with you I feel guilty for it no you shouldn't feel guilty for it I do you've

experienced a lot of other things that you know I haven't experienced before like we spoke about this I think at one point and I think I said like you know I'd never experienced feelings the way that you had um when you'd felt particularly down and you know you'd had such hard times so it's not you know that's not something to feel guilty for I think the reason I feel guilty is when I was in those hard times and I would see people having like you know that's not something to feel guilty for I think the reason I feel guilty is when I was in those hard times and I would see people having like you know sort of acknowledging how amazing their year was like I would feel quite probably a bit resentful in all honesty um but you know I think like when I think about this year it's just it's been pretty smooth um you know nothing major um

well I think that's something to celebrate not yeah you're right you're right I think it's because I'm always conscious that lots of people will not be having that and I feel like I can relate to people more when I'm struggling because I'm like look we're all in it together we're actually this year I'm like I've had the best year in my business I've had the best year personally like I traveled I met an amazing guy and I traveled with him for months and it was just amazing you know and I just think I've experienced so many new things and I don't think I would have done this unless I had those shit years and those shit years kind of built me to what this is now so I am celebrating it but I will be honest there is a part of me that does feel guilty and I'll reflect on that and understand why I feel that

bit of guilt it's yeah you're never gonna win no so you're never gonna win and not every year's like this every year no it's not and it's like me saying that I would feel guilty for saying oh my god the salon's doing really well or this is going really really well but you know what I had to work really fucking hard to get there yeah you know and I didn't have every year like that before I got to this place or you know you've had some really hard times that have led you to where you are now and you've worked really hard to get to where you are and people will still be able to resonate with you now doing really well because they will see the work that you've put in to get there yeah thank you babes I appreciate that

you're welcome thank you girl so what about you what would would your darkest moment have been um so my darkest moment would have been probably just after I'd had the girls I'd say um I found that really hard I was mentally not in a good place after I'd had the girls um I don't think I had postnatal depression by any means but I think there was definite baby blues there after I'd had them um I really did not feel like myself I remember like sobbing so I you even as well I think I'd sob to you to Andy um just being like I don't feel like myself like I felt like I was I don't know how to explain it um like I was in someone else's mind or body or I don't know, it was a weird, weird place,

but that was a very, never experienced anxiety really properly before. And I very much experienced it then. I just found that very challenging to be very honest, when I first had the girls, I was wrapped up in a lot of love, but I still felt very like not great. and a lot of things happened to me in a very short space of time after having them um I had an employee leave the salon six days after I'd given birth which was completely out of the blue um in the end was much better like it all happened for a good reason in the end but obviously at the time you don't see it that way. And then obviously my grandma passed away not long after I'd had the girls as well, which was incredibly devastating and upsetting. And yeah, I think that period of time I see as a little bit of a haze, to be honest,

which is sad because I also see it as like one of the best times when I just had them. But I can still look back at it and be like yeah it was hard yeah yeah and you know I think you know that that time watching you sort of going through that I think you know you bit by bit you got yourself out of it you know you sort of you persevered and you did an amazing job and you know your hormones everything you know and two babies I remember coming around and thinking oh my god like she's got two tiny babies and like it was like even for me the reality that you had twins I was like and she's living with this you know like it's a lot like it was it is yeah yeah it's one of them things that until you see

someone that you're close with in their comfort of their own home with their two children if they have twins or multiples of any kind you then really it sinks in and it can't sink in I don't think until you see someone with them because as an outsider you're like wow gosh yeah twins that must be hard but when you actually see it it's like it's so different and all of my friends I won't forget like when I went back to the UK they saw me with the two of them and all of a sudden they were like fuck yeah wow like you've got two like that's so intense I remember we were at a park and it started raining and we needed to get inside we didn't have like rain covers or anything

and we were trying to get through these gates my double pram won't fit through these gates we had to like figure out another way to get in and my friend was just like who had one just like whizzed through and she was like wow like yes really hard you. I just, I always remember feeling bad when I was holding them both. And I was like, I'm so sad. My arms are really hurt now. And I'm so sorry. I feel so embarrassed. But I was literally like, oh, my God.

They were tiny as well, weren't they? I was like, I just can't anymore. So, yeah. Oh, God. So, I'd say that was probably my hardest time um it also feels like that was ages ago but it really wasn't like yeah each year has like when I think about this year and obviously obviously everyone's been on the journey with us this year on the podcast like you have achieved a hell of a lot you know and I know you know that but like it's crazy

in 12 months what could happen to someone and I think if you're feeling a bit like oh you know you're wanting certain things I think Sam's a good example that in 12 months a lot in your life can change a lot can happen yeah 100% yeah definitely like you know the girls are 10 months old so even just in 10 months yeah a lot has yeah a lot has changed yeah 100 percent um so yeah this and you know what it's funny because when I look back on like 2022 I thought that was like the biggest year ever for me and I was like nothing will ever top this year because I left my very stable job I got married I had like this beautiful huge wedding we had a honeymoon we I opened the salon and like had you know such a huge year um had my sister's wedding

had my best friend's wedding um and then now when I look at this year it's just as big if not bigger yeah but obviously in just a very different way so yeah a lot can change in a year 100% like don't find any pressure on yourselves too like I'm to be honest gonna hope that next year stays pretty level-headed yeah that leads to the next question which is what intention are you carrying into the new year so me and Andy went for a walk together the other day we were chatting about what we think we want to go into next year with and we both said next year is the year for us and we don't even mean us as a couple we mean for us personally because I need a year of focusing on

myself and that might sound a bit selfish but I don't even care yeah to be to give I have to receive yeah you know like can't pour from empty cup. Like next year, I really do want to focus on myself in terms of my physical health, my emotional health, my, um, my wants and needs. And with that, I have more to give. Yeah. And I'm very much, we said this just a minute ago, but I'm very much in a season of, I'm giving a lot to a lot of people. But I really do, to give that much, I really need to top myself up. So I really plan and hope for next year to stay at a level headed in sense of I'd like a bit of a calm year.

I'm not, I don't want any new salons. I don't want any new salons I don't want any more kids I just want to stay at a nice level head next year um but I would love to still um feel some sort of growth by the end of the year and by that I mean that the salon is, you know, succeeding and progressing still. I will have more staff by this time next year. My own personal business that I want to start again. I want to, you know, continue with that. So, yeah, that's kind of what I'm hoping to go into next year with.

I love that. And end it with healthy, happy babies. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's beautiful. to go into next year with and end it with healthy happy babies absolutely absolutely yeah I think for mine it's a bit of rooting um I think for the last few years I've not felt rooted in my life I've not felt grounded to like my home um I've sort of always felt slightly nothing nowhere's home but I'm happy I and people kind of struggle to understand that part of my life a lot of people say oh I couldn't live like that um I do enjoy it but I do want to find more of a home next year and I'm not putting pressure that it needs to be you know a certain place or a certain

property but I want to start building a life somewhere now um in Thailand and that makes me really excited um and yeah and like those routes are also things like you know if I do want to you know I always have a dream that I'll have land and have a space that's a bit of a retreat that people can come to and you know it's more of a reality of how do I build that now where do I put my money so that I can save for these you know what do I need to do to actually make these things a bit of a reality so I think there's like a bit more stability and rooting for my intention for 2025 um yeah and I think connection to my body it's been a big journey the last few months that and I want to really continue that connection to my body and you know the way that I'm looking at food

and alcohol and coffee all these different things I've been exploring I really want to continue that um I know next year will be hard work for like I'll be working hard but that's great and and I'm happy with that but yeah more wholesome stability and routine is definitely an intention for 2025. I think we're both like in the same mindset of like wanting to just continue planting seeds yeah for future things that it is that we want to happen yeah absolutely and I think really that's what this time of year is about and that's why when I sort of was thinking about what questions and what we do like this isn't like putting pressure on ourselves it's like let's just reflect because you you know actually it's beautiful to reflect like even just thinking about

the way that we've balanced our own energies since being you know with each other all the time like how we've shifted and you know it's lovely to see the difference and you know and it's really magical to reflect on the good and the bad and you know things you've learned things that have surprised you and and it kind of gives you a bit of hope you know like it makes you realize that when you go into the new year, there's all this excitement. You know, there's this feeling of like what's to come. And I love that feeling that already in my tummy, like as I think about my intention, I'm like, oh, this feels good. This feels exciting, you know.

Yeah, that is very true, actually. I never really even thought about it like that. Because, yeah, like you say, this time last year where we were to where we are now, God knows where we'll be next year. And I think that sometimes when we come to this time again, this is sometimes with clients or friends, and they say, I feel a bit of dread, like what's to come next year. And I understand that the world is hard and things are difficult. And you know, there's a lot of awful things happening. but reflect on what you've achieved this year and then you'll realize how much you have achieved whether it's

small things emotionally big things materially it doesn't matter they're all relevant and you know look at that and realize what you've achieved and things that you've changed in yourself you know every single one of you listening will be now thinking about your year and where you've stepped up with your boundaries or where you've sort of put yourself first or whatever it is you've done. And like really celebrate that this year, even if this year has been terribly difficult and very, very hard. You know, the fact that you've had resilience this year that will be something that you've got for me god i didn't know i'm surprised how resilient i am even though this has been the worst year of my life i've i've been resilient i've you know so the fact that that part of you's been awakened honor that because there's a strength inside you that maybe you didn't know

you had and you know and then really use that into 2025 and know that there's a new part of you that's been awakened because every single one of you have had an awakening in somewhere in you and honor it and it's magical and let yourself be excited for what can come and make sure to release anything you know with the winter solstice that you're ready to let go of. If there's anything that's been holding you back or anything of 2024 that is no longer serving you, let it go. And it's very magical. So, yeah. Love it, babe. Love that.

Yeah. Well, that is us done then. Yeah, that was lovely. Thank you, 2024. Thank you, 2024. Thank you, 2024. And thank you to all the listeners for, you know, we are hitting the one-year anniversary. We didn't even realise, did we?

Well, I didn't. Yeah, I know, it's come out of nowhere. Thanks for listening and thanks for supporting. You know, we have a very loyal following every episode and we're very grateful for that and yeah yeah it's it's very very good so thank you everyone we will see you in the new year absolutely we will i'm sure we'll have some tales as to what happened over christmas absolutely absolutely babes think about just down by the river, New Year's Eve.

Letting it all go, living my best life. A glass of champagne in the garden. Absolutely, babes. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for listening. We really, really do appreciate it, as you all know. But please, if you loved it, please tell a friend. Like, rate, subscribe.

Anything that you can do like that really does help us out so much and if you want to catch us on instagram we are at spiritually speaking underscore podcast where we will share the questions that we have answered in today's episode as well if you want to find jess she is at jessicamarie underscore holistic and i am at her by samantha green amazing babees well thanks everyone feel the feels happy winter solstice merry christmas happy new year merry christmas and yeah love you all lots bye bye