Spiritually Speaking with Jessica & Samantha - You Asked, We Answered: Signs, Blended Families & Real Conversations

Episode Date: January 16, 2026

In this week’s episode of Spiritually Speaking, Sam and Jess sat down to answer lots of the questions you’ve been sending in. They talked about connecting to loved ones in spirit, how to ask for signs and recognise when they’re showing up, and navigating blended families and complex dynamics. As always, the conversation flowed into so much more than we planned. Honest questions, intuitive insights, and real-life situations all woven together. This episode is a gentle reminder that you’re not alone in what you’re experiencing.

Hello and welcome back to Spurbsy speaking with me Sam. And with me Jess, welcome back. Hello. So nice to be back. I feel like I'm going to sound awful on this episode because I'm so bummed up. Oh, thanks. What's the going on? Are you sort of air conditioning bunged up or cold and flu?

I think it's cold. I'm not going to say flu. I feel like it's just a cold. I feel like it's very minimal and it will go soon. Like, because I feel fine in my head. I've just got a very runny nose. You know, you just feel a bit of low. A bit like the far chick.

Yeah, no. But the girls have got it, so we'll bound to get it, do you know what I mean? Like, you can't, they're snotty noses like all over me all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, thank you. But thank you guys for listening and being back. We, so our last episode, we obviously cut, didn't we?

We did. Well, you cut. Yeah. It was so funny, right. So me and Jess, basically, if you've been back and listened to the last episode, we did a full-blown catch-up about Christmas. and then I think I can't even really remember. I feel like there was like some noise in the background or something on your side and then you got flustered

and then you're like, you know what? Let's just cut the catch up. And also you then obviously started like doing a really good bit about the new year. Yeah, well I started channeling a lot and I felt like there were such good messages there. I was like, oh, I don't want to lose people in the ketchup. I know some of you really love the catch up.

But basically Ben was like full on hoovering at the door I mean, I wasn't going to name and shame. So it was fine. We named a shape. He even made a joke before. I'm like, oh, I might hoover. And I was like, ha-ha, very funny. I might, no.

Literally, I was just like, and it really, I was like looking at him, like, can you stop? And yeah, and he didn't. And then he's like, what? It was just one of those moments. And I was like, do you know what? I just feel like, let's scrap the ketchup and go straight in. So sorry, guys, if you miss the ketchup. It was basically about Christmas.

It was a nice catch-up, but it was a long one. And I was worried that people weren't going to get the psychic part, which I think would help a lot of people. Yeah, absolutely. I didn't care either way. I was like, I don't mind. My catch-up was pretty boring, to be honest, anyway. We'll do a little one now anyway.

Ours will be like a synopsis on the last month. Yeah, well, I was going to say, mine wasn't that interesting either. It was just like a lovely, you know, Christmas break. But what has been going on? Because, we haven't caught up because I've been a bit busy. So how have you been? Yeah, we haven't really, have we?

So, I mean, I probably should have prepared for this and actually thought about what I've been doing. So I had my in-laws staying with me for three weeks. They were here over Christmas, New Year, and then they left, like, the first week in Jan. And that was honestly so nice. Oh, my God. Not many people can say that either

that, like, you know, their in-laws staying with them for that long would be so nice. It was so lovely. They're so hands-on with the girls. It was just really special. I feel like I had an extremely lucky, Christmas because everybody was healthy. Everything kind of went to plan.

We just had a really, really nice time. I felt very, very lucky for that. And then kind of coming out of that, I've just been trying to slowly get back into things. Like, you know, obviously getting back into work. I've been doing one-to-ones with all of my staff. I actually closed the salon for a day on Tuesday. And we did like a vision board workshop.

We did all of that. we sage the salon, then we did some hello Santo after it. And that's the first time I've ever done that. So that was really nice. And just let them all have like a half day really. I was like, look, you to go home. Like the whole point of this is to just like raise your vibration, make you feel good.

So that was really nice. I have been putting proper, planting proper seeds now to start my podcast. Very good. Which I feel like I've done with that then. So I feel like I've briefly spoken about on here. I don't really know how much out. But I basically have, and we'll, well, I'm starting. It's going to be coming out on Monday.

So this podcast will be out on Friday, which is tomorrow. So Monday the 19th, I think it is. And it's going to be called Aligned and Unfiltered. And it is going to be a podcast that is basically self-development. And we are going to talk all about the things that I love talking about and that I like thrive off, which is like, you know, setting routines, goals, habits, things that basically you can just put into your everyday life to elevate it, whether that be because you want to start a business, whether that be because

you just want to live a better, healthier life, you want to achieve more things and you want to get some tools to be able to do that. It doesn't have to be big. It can be small as well. So yeah, I'm really excited about it. I've been toying with the idea for a very long time. Jess has been telling me to do it for a very long time. But I have finally actually like edited the episodes because Jess actually edits this podcast. I don't do have anything to do with the editing of this podcast. So it's new to me to learn to do that as well. And like I'd done like the picture, I'd got some pictures for it for like the cover photo.

And then the girl who had done them lost all the pictures that were like my favorite pictures of it. and I was like oh and then I was waiting to redo them and I just thought no if I wait for this to be perfect I will never do it yeah so yeah so I've just rolled with it anyway so that's going to come out on one day which I'm very excited about and I'm just trying to basically give myself more time to work on my own things aside from the salon because I do have you know other passions and projects that I want to do aside that and so yeah so kind of just trying to focus on that really at the moment alongside about to have my mum and dad to stay with me for two weeks and then the girls are turning to. Of course, yeah, so you'll be getting organised for their birthday.

Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's absolutely insane. So, yeah, so just kind of busy doing stuff like that. I was supposed to go into the salon today, but I was like, nah, I'm just not feeling 100%. I'd just rather not. So beauty of working for yourself, basically. Absolutely. No, 100%. I've felt the perks of that recently, where I'm just like this is definitely the perks of the self-employed life, you know. Yeah, absolutely. There's also like the hard parts of it. But when you get the good bits, it's like, yeah. Yeah, exactly, 100%.

Yeah, there's a lot of like that goes on your shoulders when you completely solely work for yourself. But yeah, there's times when obviously it is extremely beneficial like today. So that's nice. So, yeah, just going with the flow really at the moment. How about you? What have you been up to? Yeah, similar really. It's been quite a busy sort of work month for me. I know we're only two weeks in because lots of people are sort of ready to go a bit in January, which is brilliant. So yeah, that diary's been really booked out. And I sort of launched the app out to sort of everyone. And it's been really good. Lots of people have been signing up. And so there's been like a lot of momentum sort of in the workplace for me. at workplace at work and I'm a bit tired like I feel like you know from the Christmas period and even though this is sort of like winter hibernation and I am hibernating from a social perspective I'm not

really doing much I just feel a little bit like oh like I'm looking forward to having a bit of a break like come off tomorrow um which is nice and Ben had his birthday yesterday so we um had like a nice day together and that's sort of the perks of you know working for yourself you know, the fact that I could have that day off with him and enjoy it and that was really nice. So, yeah, so like things like that are good. So I've joined and I'm starting today. So I'm doing my first class like a yoga studio in like the area where Ben lives. Because he lives in like a really spiritual place.

It's so weird. So his village is sort of right next to the village that had all the witch trials in Essex. It's a place called Canudan and there's like this church there. And there is such a spiritual hub in this area. And this yoga studio is not even really a studio. It's like a proper shala. Like it's basically in the woods and it's a couple that have, I think they've had it for like 10 years now,

but they're real like yogis. And they've like built like this beautiful like hut and you go there. And the concept is it's a really new concept to me. So I'm quite intrigued by it. Well, it's Ashtanga yoga, which is a little bit more, I'd say a bit more of the intense yoga from my understanding. But I'm going to learn more. But the concept is you go and do your beginner classes, which I'm doing tonight, and you have the teacher. But the way that they do it is that the Shala's open from 7 to 11 every day and you go.

And basically, they help you build your own practice. and then you just go at the time that works for you and literally there's like 10 of you in the room all just doing your own practice and the teacher helps you with what you're working on and it just feel... Sorry, do you have something that you follow? Yeah.

I would even know what to do. No, so like you go to the beginner classes and you sort of build your practice and I imagine it's like, you know, my hips are really tight and this and then they sort of help you with, I don't know, I guess the basics and over time you add to it and build to it

and then you just go there and do your practice which I really like like that because I feel like for me I'm definitely going for a journey as I talk about all the time with my body but now I'm feeling like literally just I'm not even drawn to alcohol and like it doesn't even like I just don't want it

and then like we had a Chinese last night because it was Ben's birth. I just feel like I've got a Chinese hangover. Oh, yeah, I hate that. I feel the grog of the food I've eaten. Yeah. And I just feel like, yeah, I'm sort of really looking forward to really connect into the body and feeling that and being around quite like-minded people.

So I just, I'm feeling very positive about that. And I've also joined a networking group locally because I haven't really. really found my people since being home. Obviously, I've got friends from school and things like that, but I don't really see them often. And I really want to meet like-minded people, which I met in Dubai, like I met you. You know, there's lots of friends I met that I really value

and still are in contact with. But I feel like now I need to build some people here. You need to find your people at home. Yeah. It's really strange that actually, and I bet so many people can probably resonate to that who haven't even necessarily even left home, who probably feel like that,

because we've said this before, like, we should probably redo it actually, like to speak about it again, but we've done an episode before on friendship and I know so many people loved it. But they say that like you have a friend for a season, a life, and what's he the one? For season for life and there's something else.

I can't remember. But it's hard to, it's hard to keep friends forever, basically, because you grow and change as a person and so do your friends and then all of a sudden you don't have things in common anymore or your life paths are on different places and it is really hard to stay in touch. In fact, there's a thing that Mel Robbins says

and she says that with your friendship, so I'm going to try and get this right, you either have distance, so you either live near one another or you don't, you have things in common or you are in the same time of your life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you don't have any of the... those three things, that it's very hard to keep that friendship.

Yeah, yeah. No, I can see that. And I think for me, like, I would quite like to meet people that have their own businesses that, like, live in the area. And there's a really nice co-working space. Like, for people that are in Essex is in Leon C. It's called This is Gas. And it's like, I'm really looking forward to making some friends because this is where the

network sort of spends their time and having, like, a co-working day with people on a Monday and like, like, you know, just getting to talk to people. And like in this group, they have like a content like creator for like reels. There's like photographer, like all the stuff that you get into buy so easily. I do find it a bit harder to find here because I just think there's less people that are willing to like invest in that where this group have got it. So I do feel really excited. And like I'm sort of putting an intention out there now for sort of some like minded friendship.

in ethics basically which is sweet because I do feel like I've been home now six months I think just over and only now am I feeling really settled is taken quite a bit of time and obviously being in a new relationship as well that adds to it and I feel like I have a whole new business model because obviously I've set up the app and I'm not in person doing readings like I've taken some big risks in my life over the last six months. And I feel like I've just had a bit of time to reflect on it now and kind of how I want that to look going forward. You know what I think is really important about that is what you've just said is you've just said about how you've been home for six months, it's taking you that time to kind of start to feel settled. I keep meeting

so many people who've just moved to Dubai and they're like, I just don't feel settled. I just don't feel settled. You have to give it time. And that's you moving home. Like you're moving home. Like you're moving home and you have your family, your friends, you know everything, you know where to get your food from, like you know everything about, you know, home. And so for people when they are moving to Dubai and then they don't feel settled straight away and they're so like, you know, they have an unsettling feeling about it because they just don't feel like it's home. It takes time. It takes so much time. Yeah, it does. Like when I was in Dubai, I remember sort of hitting the six month mark and I joined like F-45 and I feel like that definitely, you know,

it was a short period of my life, but actually that helped me because I met quite a few people at the gym. Yeah. And then sort of from that, I felt like I had a bit of routine. And I think that's exactly where I'm at now. Like I feel like mentally I'm like, right, I want to get into my routine with yoga again and all this sort of stuff. But yeah, it is hard.

And do you know what I've struggled with? And people that have moved back home will probably relate. Things change, obviously. like not loads but like my friendships have changed up my friends that like you know I keep in contact with you know they've kind of like established their own sort of way of life now and I don't really feel like I'm in it anymore so like I found that quite difficult and then like obviously my family are used to me being around all the time but now I actually for the first time in a long time I've got a boyfriend And so like my weekends are busier.

Like I can't be like as hands on as an auntie as I was. And I'm like, oh, there's just all these things that I'm sort of maneuvering. Which, you know, might sound, you know, not big things. But they feel big for me. So I feel like I've been feeling. Yeah, they definitely are. Yeah, all those things. But I feel really excited actually.

Like I do feel this sense of hope. And I think this is a more collective feeling. I think being back in England and having. seasons really resonates for me like I've really missed the seasons and like it's obviously still dark here and you know I woke up I was saying Sam have accidentally joined the 5am club like completely unintentionally it's just sort of my body clock because where the clocks have gone like they've changed I know it's been a while now go to bed so early I'm up early so like I went out for like a nice walk this morning I'm really excited for like the days to get like sunnier and

I'm looking forward to spring and I'm going to start gardening. I want to start growing my herbs and I grow sage so I can make my own sage stick. So I'm really sort of like feeling that connection back here to home. So yeah, it's really lovely. It's sort of I feel very content. It's nice to feel content because I feel like I've been pushing a lot to sort of get everything settled here. Yeah. Well, I'm glad.

I'm glad that you're feeling good. Thank you, Gill. So should we answer these questions? Because we've received a lot, haven't we? Yeah, absolutely. We have got loads. So I have typed these or can you see that. I can. I'll say they're really good questions what people have asked. So thank you so much for taking the time to share this because, you know, it's really, really good questions. So thanks, guys. there we go yeah no I really appreciate it we're going to get through as many as we can and and we have we're yeah we're excited to do it we've we've kind of specifically picked the ones that we know that we can answer as well and that we feel like we can give really good value to you and and this particular one actually came through last week and I was really like oh I really feel like we need to have

lie to this yeah so I'm glad that we've got it and okay so my mum passed away a year ago I know lots of people receive signs from loved ones. I have never received one from her that I'm aware of. I have asked her a few times, what can I do? Oh, okay. Well, I think this question is such a good question that so many people will relate to, whether it's a parent or somebody else that's passed away. And lots of clients ask me this. So I find at times lots of people say, you know, ask for signs and you'll receive them. But what I find is the more we ask, the more we get attached, and then that means that the signs can't come through. Now, obviously, this is your mum. So, like, it's, you know, it's a huge, huge loss for you. It's a huge grief. So, of course,

you're going to want to know, like, she's okay and, you know, these signs are appearing. Like, mum is fine. Like, I can feel more than fine. She's at peace. And so I want you to know that, that her soul is very rested and she's able to watch over you, okay? Now, when it comes to my advice, talk to her, okay? Talk to her as though she's your guardian angel because she is, okay? When we lose people in our lives, in this human life and they move over to the spirit world, we really do gain another angel. We gain someone that can help us on the other side.

and especially when it's a parent, they're able to do a lot for us, okay, and they want to. So my advice is instead of asking for signs of validation, just talk to her, okay? And that could be that, you know, you're sort of washing up or you're cooking and you're thinking about something. And you can speak to her in your head. It doesn't need to be out loud. You know, if you feel more comfortable to, you know, do it that way, then that's fine. she'll hear you and just let her know that you're trying to communicate with her. That would be my first thing there because then they will appear.

And what I would say to you is your sense that she's near you. You'll sense this feeling of thereby me. And sometimes I sort of say this at home, you can feel like you're being watched but no one's there. And usually that's when spirit are around and you're a bit like, oh, I just feel. like someone's watching me, that's usually when they're around us. And obviously because we're not taught how to develop our sort of mediumship, you know, it's sort of hard to, to understand. Because I was just thinking about that book, Sam, that you recommended signs. I was literally

about to say that, yeah. Yeah. And it's a brilliant book, but not everyone has that experience, you know, it's like it's sort of, and then what I imagine this person is feeling like, why is my mom not coming through. That everyone else is getting signs, but I'm not. And actually, a lot of people don't get signs, okay? A lot of people don't get that validation. And there's nothing wrong with you and there's nothing wrong with mum. It's just that it's not always incredibly obvious.

It really can be just a small feeling. It can just be that you think of her, which I'm sure you do often. And when you do, she will be around you. you know, when we think of loved ones, it's because they're close by. So that's what I would say to you. You know, if you're wanting to connect with her, like I would really recommend, you know, getting a mediumship reading. I don't really do that anymore, so I wouldn't recommend myself.

But you're welcome to message me and I can send you details of somebody. But yeah, it's sort of, it's really difficult. But like, I would read that book that Sam's, mentioned about I started listening to it and it was lovely um but please know there's nothing wrong with you or her because I think we can go to that place a bit much when we don't get many signs yeah the book is called signs by um Dr Tara Swart I believe it is yeah and it's all about her husband who had passed away and how she received signs basically but I also think a lot of the way that she describes for you to to get signs is just generally a very beautiful way to

to live your life. Yeah, exactly that. And I think like for me, when I when I think about, you know, loved ones, it's just talking to them, you know, they haven't gotten, you know, they've not left you in the way we think they have. They're still there. And you can ask them for help, you know, ask your mum to help you, you know, what's going on in your life where you need a bit of support, you know, things like that. And also, like if you do sort of want to have messages coming through when you're sleeping. Now this takes, you know, quite a lot of work and practice, but going into sort of the lucid dreaming,

you can sort of fall asleep and try and talk to her and the spirit world as you're falling asleep and ask for her to show herself in your dream. You could try that, you know, that's a good thing to do, but, you know, you do it regularly and things like that. That's what I would say. Well, let us know when you get one. Yeah.

let us know and definitely send a message if you want details of someone. Yeah, amazing. Okay, next one. So, I left my corporate job a few years ago and it was the best decision for me. Since then, I've been working from home and working remotely part-time whilst also retaining and building an online business. My online business is in the very early days and I'm pleased with the progress so far. I'm currently pregnant and due in spring this year and I'm so excited. I'm so excited. excited for the next stage, but also nervous about how I navigate non-existent maternity leave and wanting to work flexibly, in brackets, the whole point of leaving my job. And also keeping a social media presence and building the business without feeling the pressure to always be

online or losing momentum in my business whilst also looking after myself and a new baby. Any advice is welcome. Well, I think you should start, Sam, because you know how. you've navigated a lot of this. Yeah, I mean, it basically was me writing this however long ago. That's how it feels. I feel like everything that you've listed there is like, and then this, and then this, and then this, and then this. And it's like, let's just strip it back.

What's the most important thing right now? Like, that's what you really need to be focusing on. What is the most important thing? And realistically, it's you and your baby. So start there. start focusing on that and then the rest will follow is what I would say because I think you kind of have you are going to be half sorry you are going to have to become comfortable with slowing down and not being as as present in social media or not being as present with the business or other areas of your life because you absolutely cannot do everything to the same level of consistent. at the same time. And if you try to do that, you will burn out.

It's as simple as that. And I am an extremely, you know, positive, happy-go, lucky person where I'm like, yeah, you can do this, you can do this. And you can, but you just can't do it all at once. And I just think that you need to remove that pressure that you've put on your shoulders because that feels heavy. Even reading that, I was like, Jesus Christ, there's a lot here, you know? So just be a bit kinder to yourself.

Let yourself have this. time as well because you're not going to get this time back. You might have other babies, but this is your only time with this baby that you're ever going to get this. And I don't know if you've said it's your first baby or not, but I just think enjoy this time as much as you can. Try and remove pressure. If you can put things in place to make it easier for things to run while you do take a bit of time back at the beginning, then do that. I personally said I was taking two weeks maternity when I had the girls. I was like, I want two weeks where nobody contacts me. And that didn't happen. Six days in, somebody handed in the notice. And I was back at work,

basically, in work mode, but obviously from home. And so things do happen. And I get that when, especially when we go back to what we were saying before about being self-employed and how sometimes it's great and sometimes it's not. But I just think you've worked really hard to get yourself to this position. You've taken some risks. Just take a step back. Enjoy being a bit slower. Don't try to be 100% in everything and give yourself a bit of grace because if you are so hard on yourself, then you're going to end up not enjoying this time. And really what's most important is you feeling happy and healthy when raising a new baby. Because it's a scary place to be if you don't.

Yeah. And I think like it's interesting because I relate to this. Obviously I'm not pregnant and things. But I'm thinking about I'm going to have a family. at some point and I have an online business and a lot of these faults come into my mind and I think a lot of women feel this in their life they're like you know how am I going to navigate this and how can I enjoy like the newborn phase and can I actually enjoy my maternity leave and things like that and like what Sam said you can't do it all no one can and I think what's difficult is you

do see people now having babies and like continuing with their business and having no break and and that might work for them and that's amazing, but that shouldn't be the expectation, you know, like I will, I know what I'll be like. I will want to be completely switched off for a few months at least, you know, and to just be focused on motherhood.

And I think what I would say to you is think about what motherhood is for you. Like I would sort of look at that and be like, how do you want to show up in motherhood? And, you know, how does that look at the early stages? Because they're the things I've been thinking about. I'm just thinking about my own faults. And I'm like, well, I know I want to be like fully, you know, in the fields.

Like I'm very emotional. So I know that I'm probably going to be very hormonal in that period of my life. So I know that I'm probably not going to be very good at my job, you know. So for you, is it actually I want to have three months where I'm not worrying about earning money? And maybe that's a conversation you need to then have with your partner to say, realistically, I need those three months. And then what's really difficult about being self-employed or having your own business, you're probably not going to get the year off, you know?

I know that. I'm not going to be having, if I was in a corporate job, I would have a year off. But then after my corporate job, I'd be going back four or five days a week. Working for yourself, yeah, you might not have as long, but you don't need to go back five days, you know. and you might be that you can go back and you do one day or two days. But what I would also say to you is how can you build more of a passive income? You know, how can you build like a base that's there

so that you haven't actually got to physically work to earn your money? I know you're not going to do that in the next few months, babies during spring. But that might be something that you want to think about as part of your business development going forward for if you're going to have another one or even just with motherhood. So they're the sort of things that come up for me and sort of what I've been talking to myself about. It's funny that honestly, I'm not even joking. When I started my business five years ago, I genuinely wrote down in my journal,

I'm building this business for motherhood. Like at that time when I didn't even have a relationship, I didn't know where my life was going to be. I honestly think you've done the right thing, building something for yourself, and maybe it's not as far as you want it to be. but I think we all feel like that. Whatever stage we're at in our life, I don't think we ever feel like it's where we want it to be. So just don't be hard on yourself.

I think you've done a really good job and been really brave. And, you know, I think just set some expectations, have an honest conversation and with your partner. If you are with somebody, I'm assuming you are, you might not be. And work it out from there. Yeah. One thing I wanted to add as well is like if you, if when you said about you know looking at the people on social media and they go back to

work straight away things like that I potentially could have come across as one of those people and but it took me a hell of a lot longer to get back to feeling good and feeling like myself because I did that yeah so just remember that like even if you see people who are going back to work straight away doesn't mean they're feeling good yeah yeah so um yeah I think you've listen to all the above that's really good that you've shared that sam Yeah, it's true. Like I say that last year, 2025, so I had my girls in 2024, 20205 was my mat leave.

Yeah, really, because it was my time that I really slowed down and I took the breaks off going to the salon every day. And I, you know, I did take more time but for myself and like for the girls, obviously I had seven weeks off in the summer, things like that. Whereas the year they were born, I got a whole new shop and renovated it and did all these things. and went back working behind the chair.

And it was ridiculous. But in that year, when I looked back, it was a blur. I didn't actually feel great at all. And then it took me all of 2025 to actually then focus on myself and get back to, you know, feeling human. It's just so much on women, isn't it? Like, you know, I know we know this, but like it's just so much to think about.

And I think, you know, for me, I just think it's so hard that we go through this like pregnancy, we go through labour, and then you've got your full trimester once the baby's born. And it's just so much pressure to be back to what you were. And it's just, it makes me really anxious about that period. You're never back to what you were though. Yeah. They say when you birth a baby, you birth yourself.

You become a whole new person. Yeah. You really do. Like you are a completely different person when you're, you're, you're, are to be fair when you're probably pregnant as well but when you have the baby my god yeah such a different person yeah so just try not to put some huge expectations on what it looks like after the baby's here because you just don't know how that's going to look yet yeah and just try and sit in how you feel now yeah but good luck i think you're really brave absolutely and i think you've

really made the right decisions and it will pay off sort of long term yeah i agree okay so thanks to you ladies and this part i'm really loving my own spring journey and it's made me want to support my partner in starting his but without pushing him. He carries a lot from his previous marriage, especially guilt around his children and the divorce and I can see how heavy that is for him. When we went to Bali, I gently encouraged him to try Reiki and he actually loved it. He still talks about it now and he tends to get overwhelmed easily and go straight into stress mode, treating small things like an emergency. And I'd love for him to experience more calm and softness in his life. My question is, can you recommend a good place to go

for Reiki in Dubai? Also, I would love for him to have a reading with you, Jess. How can I convince him to do so? Is Spirit telling you that you might give him a reading? So, firstly, I've got a really good Reiki healer. I can recommend. Her name's Sarah. She's in Dubai. And her Instagram is like, couldn't be flourished. But I'll post you. post it on our spiritually speaking on my own page so you can follow her. And that's for everyone because I'd recommend everyone go and see Sarah. But what I would say to you with this is really tricky. And again, this is something that comes up often with clients. Obviously, I have a very female heavy business. And I do also have a small percent of men that come to me. The men that

come to me are not pushed. They come to me and usually their partner isn't as I open-minded. It's usually one or the other, you find. Now, those men are incredibly receptive to my work and they, yeah, they're really, really open. What I find is when we try and push someone on a path, they're going to push away, all right? Now, like, for my relationship, for example, like Ben is the opposite to me in many ways. And I'm not forcing him to meditate. I'm not forcing him to be really spiritual. But what I find is our conversations are naturally very deep and they're very open.

And what I would say to you is don't push them to do Reiki unless they really want it. Maybe you could book it as a birthday gift. I think that's always nice or whatever. But don't push it on them. His path is his path. And yes, he has guilt from things and he has these feelings, but only he can choose to fix it. And what I find is when we overly control someone else's healing path, it never works. Even when I have clients and they come to me and they're working with me, they're not always ready for the next stage or, do you know what I mean? And you just have to hold them. So what I would say. So what I would say, say as someone who is on their own spiritual journey, there's a lesson in this for you. There's a lesson for you to be more of like a holder of space and to support him spiritually in your own little way without sort of pushing him to readings and things like that. That would be my guidance there.

Honestly, I remember when it was COVID, I did like online like, loads of online stuff and they used to it on a Friday night and you could book four people in for a reading and I would sort of sit and everyone would listen to each other's readings. It was like a girl's night in and I had it with some couples and the men just didn't want to be there and their energy was really shut off and in the end I was like, this is just so awkward and I wasn't as confident at that point to be like, you don't want this. What's the point? You know, where now I just, I don't think that would happen.

So it is tricky how you manage it. I think let him be. That's the honest truth. Interesting. You said that. I was about to say you need to read the Mel Robbins book, The Let Them Theory. Yeah.

Because that is all that screaming to me is listening to that. Like, it's lovely that you want the best for him and that you want that for him because you know how good he could feel. but only he can do that. You can't make him do anything. And you need to get comfortable in feeling that way, in realizing that basically,

and taking, you know, a step back. Like, you can't force him to do anything. And I do believe, I think, yeah, you could absolutely say to him for a gift, I booked you this Reiki session, she had an offer on, whatever it is. You can make something up and book it. He can choose if he goes to it or not. And how that develops from there, that's up to him.

But you can't force anyone to. to do anything. You can recommend and suggest, but ultimately it's always up to that person. And that book is particularly good at making you realise that. One thing I'd just quickly add as well is like just focus on your own path spiritually and lean by example. What I found in my life is I've never really preached to anyone in my life. Like I don't force anyone to do anything really like spiritually. I might force them to do other things where I'm being a bit bossy. But when it comes to spirituality, I'm quite Like, no, you're on your path.

You'll work it out. But what I do do is I really just focus on my own stuff. And what I find with that is they then become really curious. Like, how was yoga? What was going on? Or you went to that class and you seemed different. Like, you know, I find it's those moments that brings people on the journey. Yeah.

So, yeah. Oh, good. Love that. Okay. So my fiancé is still in contact with. his ex. They share a grown child together and while I understand co-parenting, what I'm really struggling with is a secrecy and dishonesty around it. He tells me they don't speak, but I've become aware that they do talk and message regularly and that those conversations are hidden. She is using

him and often comes to him for emotional support, advice, sometimes money and it leaves me feeling like a boundary is missing and that I'm the one absorbing the emotional cost. Right. That's tough. That is very tough. My first thought with that, it's not really the, it's not really about, in my opinion, I don't know. This is very hard for me to say because I'm absolutely no way close to this situation. But it's not really about the X for me, reading this. It's about the dishonesty.

That's what it comes down to. It's not about the person or the situation. it's about the fact of the matter is he's lying to you and he's hiding things and for me personally I could not be in a relationship especially about to get married to somebody who's lying to me and I think that's what it comes down to you have to have complete honesty and trust and transparency with the person that you're with and especially the person that you're about to marry and I would just say for me I would look at that and have a very confronting conversation of this is how I feel on this situation

and what are you going to do about it? Because you can't move forward like that because if he's, I'm sorry, but if he's lying to you about that, there might be other things that he finds easy to hide. I also feel like they've had this conversation loads of times, that's my sense. This is like a repetitive thing

that this couple are diving through. So that's more my psychic download here. So I do feel like this person is like, expressed about the mistrust and how this is affecting them and it is as though there's no change from the fiancé and like things yeah have become more secret now what's really difficult with co-parenting is the end of the day there's a sole contract between you know those people and their children or however many children there are one and there's also a old contract that you're coming into this life as either a step-parent if you're involved with the

child or whatever you know so there is quite a lot of dynamics here and I find these things really powerful for people to learn like deeper inner things right now and so I think your your fiance feels an obligation to help like the mother of his child and I think that he doesn't feel like he can tell you. Okay. So I wonder if there are some bigger insecurities about the ex. I actually think this fiancé is a good guy and he loves you, but I think he feels a bit like stuck with how to deal with this.

Like, oh, you know, every time I bring it up, there's maybe an issue. So it's probably just best that I don't. But, you know, I need to make sure like the mother of my child's okay. And I think what you're picking up on, this person is the interoperable. is the intentions of the mother of the child, which is that she is emotionally leaning on him. And actually you don't want, she shouldn't be doing that.

She should have her own support that's not him in those ways because it does feel a bit too reliant on him. So I do think you're picking up on that. So my sort of advice is, I get what Sam's saying, you've got to trust them. But why is he not communicating

is the root for me. And I think it's because he feels fear and anxiety that it's going to bring some issues up for you to because maybe in the past it has. So this has become a bit of a pattern. And I think the way you need to look at this is less about who's right and wrong, but how you're going to problem solve this.

This child's not going anywhere. He has a kid. Like, you know, I don't think you want to leave this relationship. So you need to find a way. where you can problem solve and work out. And you might have to accept that this is going to be a part of your relationship that the mother of his child will be. And then that might be something you don't want.

But I do think that he's genuine. I just think that he's withholding things and you're picking up on that and your brain is sort of feeling you know triggered by that hopefully that helps um yeah that was one of the things i was then going to say is how are you reacting when he when he has told you things because that can obviously be why he's then not wanting to share things and you know i'm not putting that guilt that guilt that blame onto you at all but you do have to remember that if you want him to tell you things then you have to be receptive to hearing them and i think if you can work on your communication

together and get that crystal clear, then also she's probably going to start contacting him less because she's probably going to think, well, he tells her everything. Yeah, yeah. And I don't think he's got feelings for her or anything like that. I really don't. I think it's just like he's trying to do the right thing

and your relationship is probably not feeling the priority. And I understand how that feels rubbish. but there's some compromise in the energy I think yeah sides good look with that right so we've got one last question which is quite a short one actually so when am I going to meet the man I'm supposed to be with

I love it well let's have a little look I pull some cards on this it's quite a fun one it's like when I don't know exactly when but let me pull some cards and to help unravel this So what's stopping you from meeting someone right now? Let's ask the cards that.

Sorry, guys, just giving them a little shuffle. Okay, so really nice cards for this person. This person's a nice, lovely, soulful energy here, okay? We actually have the Empress card. So, you know, this is someone I actually think he's ready for like, probably a bit like me when I was single. Like, I'm ready to meet someone and I want to have children. and I want to build a life.

And because of that, I think this person isn't wasting time with idiots. You know, like they're genuinely dating for love and for something committed. And I want you to continue doing that, okay? And like with that intention, because it will come. I have got the Hermit card. So what I'm asking this person is, are you pushing yourself out of your comfort zone enough with dating and relationships? And I don't know if you are.

because the hermit can sort of represent the hermit, being on your own, in your safe space, in your bubble. Now, you know, I have always been open to like a relationship I feel in my single years and like I would continuously be, you know, proactive with my dating life, whether that was sort of on dating apps or going to things where there'd be like a mix of men and women, you know, like F-405 gym. Yeah, just put yourself out there. I always give that example. Go to like a boxing class. Go to something where there's going to be men at. Because I think sometimes it's just like, does your path even cross men? Even if your job is like, with, like my job is always with women, you know, if I'm not going to go out of a client.

But like when I was single, I was like, I'm not in an office where there's men and women or I just them with women all day. Like, how can you change, or maybe you like women and then that's perfect but if you don't and you're like men you need to find a way to um open up that energy because I feel like it's a bit closed off so like I feel like you've got a lovely life and you're content but you're not opening up the path that's needed to find somebody so that's why I would say um I do feel like sometimes with the empress if it comes up it could be I don't know your own relationship with your mum um can come up as well and maybe the way you received love and this is sort of deeper stuff, so it may not resonate.

I'm just sort of picking up on something. But there could be some sort of mother wound things coming up for you in the way. And the mother wounds can show up in relationships because if we sort of have a parent that's sort of tough on us or, you know, whatever, we kind of think that's how love should be or there can be things in that way that could show up for you. I would really recommend manifesting as well with love. I really manifested love

and it did take me time but what I found with manifesting was they did bring me situations and people that actually unlocked trauma that was a bit stagnant so I don't know if you've got that but when we manifest love it doesn't mean they arrive

like I think I manifested love I'm not even joking for about five years and in those five years and I'm not saying you're going to wait five years that's not the case it's not far but I had to deal with a lot of problems that I had held from my first relationship and, you know,

and when you manifest, because they're saying, well, okay, you're telling me you want love, well, can you deal with this problem because otherwise you can't get it? So, like, maybe it's time to face those problems as well. So, like, the way I manifested was lots of spell jars, I'll be honest with you, regularly making intentions about the person that I wanted to be with, I would write down less about looks but more about personality traits. And then what I would write down as well is that how I want to feel with this person. So like for me, I was like, I want to feel really empowered, really valued.

You know, I want to feel supported. I want them to like respect my work. And then I'm going to want to do more of my work. But, you know, like these were the sorts of things that I was writing down. And I knew that that was going to come. But I had to work at it. And what I found was I met people that were almost that but not. And when that happened, I knew I was on the right path.

You know, like when I was dating that guy while I was travelling, he was lovely. Like, he was such a lovely person, but he wasn't everything. And then obviously I met Ben and I just. me feel like Ben is basically my spell dryer and vision boards all combined, you know. So I do think manifest. If you're not in the psychic circle, I would come in because there's a few things about love that I share and also the spring equinox. I really think you're on the cusp and you just need to manifest and push yourself basically. Out there are a bit more.

And I feel like loads of people will take from that. Those that are single that are listening, please take that for you as well because it's the same message for. for all of us. Yeah, I love that. I think you're right. Like, I think the top and bottom of it is you have to be in it to win it, you know? Like you have to be out there. You've got to be putting yourself out there to be able to meet someone in the first

place. So definitely that. You can't sit around and wait for it. Like, you know. Well, so just to say, there's a thing that people used to say, oh, it'll happen when you least expect it. Yeah. And I don't know if that's true.

Like, I think you've got to be conscious of what you want. I would have to say I agree to be honest. I, like, I feel like I could barely even use this because I was so young. But I remember just before I met Andy being so intentional of like, I am ready to meet someone. I really want to meet someone. And was I wanting to meet my husband for the rest of my life? No. But was I wanting to meet someone?

Yes. And then, you know, just turned out that that was the way that it happened. But I was so intentional on being like, no, no, I really want to meet someone. someone. So I think I agree. I don't think it's necessarily like it happens when you least expect it. I think you might meet the person when you least expect it. As in that, but you have to, you have to put action behind the vision, you know. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, well, because I met Ben in England, obviously, I didn't expect to meet someone here. But I did expect to meet someone at some point I did feel like 2025 was going to be the year I met someone because I've really put it

as a priority and I do see with a lot of women it doesn't matter what age there are and I think it's because we're really good at being on our own that we get so comfortable we don't sort of put it as a priority we sort of say one day and then we just get we just get in our own way I'm not saying this person's like that I really don't but I'm just saying in general yeah well love that I think that is the end of our questions. Yes, it is. That has been a great episode. I loved that.

Me too. Well, thank you so much everybody for listening. Please continue sharing your questions because we love answering them. The link is on our Instagram bio, and that is at Spiritally Speaking underscore podcast. If you want to find Jess on Instagram, she is at Jessica Marie underscore holistic, and I am at samantha green.t.g.h, and we will see you in two weeks.

Amazing. Thanks, guys. Thanks for listening. Lots of love. Bye. Bye.