Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 103: The Super Bowl and Mount Rushmore of Actors

Episode Date: June 15, 2020

Today’s show is packed. We get into some 'Would You Rather’ questions and ‘Jason Explains’, before taking a trip into ‘The Situation Room’. Listeners get the opportunity to learn about some hidden (useless) talents of both Jason and Owl. We debate getaway destinations, using public amenities, and a monetary moral dilemma. We close out this episode by drafting actors for our ‘Mt. Rushmore of Iconic Actors’. Subscribe and tell your friends about another hilarious episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the show: Become an Official Spitwad! Visit us on the Web Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Instagram Subscribe on YouTube Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/spitballers/posts See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Oh, what's happening, people, before we kick off today's episode? Number one, I want to say, hey, thank you for being here. How's it going? You're beautiful. I imagine you look way better today than you usually do because you're about to listen to this podcast. But look, we need your support here at the Spitballers. Head over to SpitballersPod.com and you can get all the information you need to help support this show ways that you can get access to these episodes early

and a bunch of other things like joining the spit tank that's where we go for our priority selection for fun questions for this show so head over to spitballerspod.com music music music

music music music music music music music music

music music music music music music music music

music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music music What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Keep it going. Mike says keep it going.

Mike says keep it going. Mike says keep it going. I say stop. Might have been my best one of all time. I was impressed with the beginning, but once again. You don't like the ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. Come on. Stuck that landing like a gold medalist gymnast. You never landed.

You never landed. You're right. gold medalist. You never landed. You just spin in the air. Jason never landed. He is soaring among the atmosphere. To the moon! 10 out of 100. Jason spitballers. 10 out of 100? Thanks.

10 out of 100. Some of 10%. You built me up, but then I think you meant to say 100 out of 10. I'd like to believe that. I was very specific with my words all right thankfully it's three more episodes till i gotta do that crap as i say every three episodes we do have to absorb one of your scats and i absorbed it and it was it was better than others that you've done so welcome in to the spitballers podcast andy mike and jason

would you rather? We're going to do a Jason Explains, so you'll get more Jason on today's episode. Oh, are we? It's in the show doc. Congratulations. Al Borland put it in there. To everybody else. We also have a draft.

We're doing a Mount Rushmore draft of something I'll reveal later. And then we have a situation room as well. Mount Rushmore draft of our favorite presidents on Mount Rushmore. Yes. I'll take Washington. Reorder the presidents however you want. The ones that are already up there. Teddy's a sleeper. He's the sleeper of the four.

Yes. Jason, who of the four. Yes. Jason, who are the four presidents on Melrose? Yeah. You've got Abe Lincoln, George Washington, Teddy, and... Oh, this is the best part. I want to say Ben Franklin, but definitely not president. He was never president. Yes, and I'm aware of that.

That's what I said. Oh, goodness. I can't remember. Fantastic. Help. Thomas Jefferson. Yes. Thomas Jefferson coming home.

Ooh, nice. SpitballersPod on Twitter. SpitballersPod.com is the website. You can check out the Patreon. Becomeballers pod.com is the website. You can check out, uh, well, check out the Patreon, become a spit one,

support the show, get the episodes early, get your ideas into, uh, Al Borland's ears via, uh, you know, a secret channel.

You get to talk to him on the phone every day. Everybody who's on there, he's got a red phone. It just flashes when you call. It gives you access to a human being named Al Borland instantly. And we appreciate you taking those phone calls all day long, Al. I'm here

for the spitwads. I wasn't sure you were here at all, the way that sat there. We appreciate your reviews, your support over on Apple Podcasts, wherever you're listening, subscribing, reviewing. Let's do some Would You Rather. Would you rather? Less confidence throwing to the producer on a Zoom call than in studio.

Not a great deal in either circumstance. He could be going potty right now. We have no idea. No, you just don't know. Would you rather from Dan, he writes in, would you rather have to use a public toilet every time that you need to use the bathroom or use a public shower

every time you the word here is cleanse? It's every time you cleanse. I think, yeah, every time you shower, I assume. I think that's what they're saying. I mean, maybe this is more of like a spiritual healing. You know, every time you cleanse, you need to do that meditation in a public shower.

Are people using public showers a lot? And I'm missing out on this trend. I'm not really, I don't think I've ever used a public shower in my life okay so i'll let's lay this out maybe i mean there are choosing this thing well there are two different types of a public shower one one you have like a like athletes where it's just it's just one giant shower and and everyone no the game. No walls. Correct. There's no protection. Everyone's shame is there.

Or But yes, I mean, exposed. So no walls. Okay. And then there's things like the public gym or a spa where they have individual showers, which I have used an individual shower at a public place and go ahead jay i i feel like that's what it has to be right like you're not

going to the it's not a communal shower right you're not going the the question is every time you go to the bathroom would you like to go to the bathroom in a toilet in a communal potty would you like to sit on a horse trough and go to the bathroom in a toilet that everyone can see. In a communal potty. It's just a room full of toilets. Would you like to sit on a horse trough and go to the bathroom every time you got to go? I mean, to be fair, I think we've all used the horse trough at a sports stadium before, and that is definitely a communal potty. Yeah, I don't know what changed that they stopped doing that. Maybe they realized walls aren't that expensive.

What do you mean you don't know what changed? Why did they do it in the first place that's the real question abilities have changed over time or where at one point in time we were fine going in a trough i don't know the improvement of trough to individual urinals stalls. If you've ever been concerned that humanity is not progressing, just remember that we did that. Men, we all at the stadium had to pee into a trough

looking your pee, pal, in the eyes. And thank goodness you were looking at them in the eye. That's what you wanted. Right. Eye contact. No, you needed the eye contact. You wanted to make sure. Listen, there are worse things.

Eyes up here. But my point is that none of those things are good and we have improved. So if any improvement has happened, just remember the trough to individuals. And if people are thinking that's some ancient

archaic thing, like this was not, this was in the, the, the Tempe stadium where ASU plays games while a Superbowl was played there. The Superbowl went to that stadium. That's actually what they called the trough. The Superbowl. Oh,

that's how they got the name. The Superbowl. Oh, mercy. Oh man. All right. Look, I, oh that's how they got the name super bowl oh mercy oh man all right look i this is an easy answer for me i'm gonna do the public toilet and the reason being is i can maneuver in a public toilet environment where i'm not touching anything i cannot i'll have shoes on when i walk in there when i if i'm going public shower i I'm going bare feet, public shower. No, no, you wear slippers. That doesn't sound good to me. Slippers?

What? No, okay, well, here's the trade-off. Slippers are just wet carpet on your feet at that point. No, not like a cushy. This is just a pure... A sandal? Yeah, like a rubber slide-on. I wear my Ugg boots in the shower when I go.

I would in that situation. That's how I know my feet are clean. No, you have slide-ons that are... For the water? It's not like a carpet at all. It still seems grosser to me. Oh, it's not optimal, but you know what is not optimal? Going to poo-poo in a public toilet. Yeah, the poo-poo problem.

That's a big problem. Can I poop in the shower and then shower in... No, waitoo in a public toilet. Yeah, the poo-poo problem. That's a big problem. Can I poop in the shower and then shower? No, that doesn't work. Yeah, that's not helpful. Cheese grater. All right. So it's an easy question for you, and you choose public toilets. It's an easy question for me, and I choose the public shower.

Now, you take 45 to 50-minute showers. And poop. So either way, this is me time. And I feel like one is cleaning me. One is dirtying me. That's true. If you're committing 50 minutes to each location, then I am switching quickly. Yeah, exactly.

If I'm a quick peep party and I'm gone and I can go no touch. You don't get to control the toilet paper. I'll just never go number two again. I'm fine. Just absorb it. Hold it. All right, Mike, you go ahead and make your selection here and we can mercifully move on. I mean, the problem is, I hate to dive into the question a little bit further, but the idea of I have to...

We got nothing to do, Mike. Go ahead. I mean, if you're saying public, that's insinuating I have to go somewhere. And when you got to go, you got to go. So, I mean, if I'm at home and that feeling hits that I got to go now, I can't possibly be driving somewhere. If you're just saying somehow magically i'm imagining you're walking 10 feet outside your door either way all right if i'm walking the 10 feet i will take the public shower i've it's it's not that bad it's not ideal but it

is more go getting into a shower where the floor is wet is much better than sitting down on a toilet that has a warm seat and you don't know why it's warm. There are countries that don't treat their public bathrooms the way we do in America. They treat them with respect. Yeah, they treat them better. And they are clean and they are well regarded for their cleanliness. Is this a country of like three people? No, there are large nations that have grown. Look, we just talked.

America was peeing in troughs 30 years ago. Clearly, we have not matured our bathrooms to the level that they need to be at. What's crazy to me, my dad, my father, grew up with an outhouse. I know my dad. That's what I'm saying. He raised me.

I know my dad. That's what I'm saying. He raised me. I know my dad. He raised me. I'm saying he's not some 200-year-old. You know what I mean? This is one generation above me. He grew up with an outhouse. And he grew up with an outhouse. When I hear that, I'm like, no. Did they ever share outhouses?

Were there ever one in between two houses it was a you know i have no like they did phone lines you know they did that too when you first put in a phone line when my grandparents got a phone there were you know four neighbors they shared one line if you picked up and your neighbors on the phone you just hang it up again hopefully what the more you learn the more you know the more you learn you're doing good you know your dad though that's good i do um nick from twitter would you rather spend a where would you rather spend a month a bungalow on the beach or a cabin in the mountains? Ooh. A month. A month. One full month.

Oh, man. Both sound pretty nice. They do sound nice for different reasons. I love- Well, a bungalow is inferring smaller- Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Area to live, right? Yeah, a smaller-

I feel like a bungalow is like a one-room hut. A little studio bungalow is like a one-room hut. A little studio bungalow. Yeah. A bungalow is a low house with a broad front porch, having either no upper floor or upper rooms set in the roof. Yeah, so it's small. Okay. Yeah, all right.

Small, usually one story. So a smaller. Wait, so a smaller. They're saying it's got a broad front porch. Oh, the broadest. That's what makes a bungalow. Yes. Bungalow is a fantastic word.

See, I think I'd rather spend a month in the cabin in the mountains. But if you gave me a week, I'd probably take the bungalow. What's the difference? I think I would wear out of the beach life quicker than the cabin life. I will say this. Yeah, that's what I think so. What do you do at a beach? You go, you sit, you swim, you play in the water.

I mean, well, sure, if you bring a ton of different things to do, but... Yeah, in general, you're beach bumming. The beach is the same today as it is tomorrow as it is the next day, whereas in wildlife, in a cabin, every day could be different. Is there a deer? Is there a bear? No more room to spread out, maybe. Although, you know, it might be about the same size. I don't know. It's a tough call.

These are the two kind of vacation destinations that people go for. Is it weird that I'm worried about a sunburn primarily? No, that's part of it man a month on the beach living on the beach you need to be worried about skin care yeah it's legit you could get stuck in that bungalow if you're uh peeling and uh in pain yeah i mean i i would have to spend too much time in my low roof the wide bungalow. But how awesome is it that when someone's like, well, where are you staying? And you go, oh, I... At the bungie.

That's my bungalow. Yeah. The old bungie back there. Otherwise, she's like, oh, I'm in the cabin. That sounds pretty good, too. Yeah, the cabin's nice, too. Yeah. I know a bungalow.

Which are you picking? I mean, are you going beach? Yeah. I mean, they're both great. But if I have to be somewhere for a month, I'll take the beach. Okay. I'll come back bronze. Jason seems like he is struggling.

Jason will be even more pale than he was when he started. No, he'll be pink. I am struggling here. I think beach, you know what's crazy is when you said, I'd take the beach for a week and the cabin for a month, my initial thought was, well, that's weird. And I think it's my exact same thought the more that I think it through. The beach is fun, the pinnacle is higher,

but I feel like a month is a time where, I mean, things change. This is a relaxation journey. This is a cleanse, if you will. And I would want to do that in the woods, in nature, in the cabin. I like that the ocean is not nature. I feel like I'm more likely to die at the cabin in a month than I am at the beach. I was going to say, clearly, neither of you have aspirations of learning how to surf.

I would enjoy that 20 years ago, yeah. Because if you... I'd love to learn how to surf now. Oh, I would try. But it's like, yeah, I'd like to play the piano too. But I feel like that ship has sailed. See, you could learn now. I could learn the piano right now.

The reason I couldn't surf, I think if I'm up on a wave i've got i've got really strong legs i've got good balance i think i would i would crush i would never be able to get up on that board that's the issue you but you got a month man no but i got a but i got a belly i thought you say the sunburn again when the knees come up they stop stop too short. I can't jump up very easily. Let me ask you this, Jason. Where are you more likely to lose the belly? In the cabin or at the beach?

Definitely the beach. Definitely the beach. You can't chop wood? Chop that belly right away? I can, but I'm not going to. Jason, chopping wood's not fun. Chopping wood's not fun. Going and playing in the ocean, that's a blast.

You know, our family goes up north and uh i i've discovered they have these ninja warrior courses wait wait wait hold up hold up did you not know this might do no they have like 30 or 40 foot lines and you tie them between each tree and they've got all these things you can hook onto them and a lead line. Crap. I forgot about rope courses. Those things are awesome. I forgot about rope courses. They are, man. They're so much fun.

So, you know. That's still the beach. I'm up north. It's still the beach. Well, yeah. I'll just visit Andy in the cabin. Al, do you. Al's a cabin man.

Al, should I be sharing what you just shared with me? Sure. Jason cannot do a cannonball in the pool because he cannot pull up his knees and grab them. True story. It is a true story. Al Borland was over swimming at my house, and... No!

First of all, shout out to Mr. Borland doing front flips, back flips, and... Wait a minute mr borland doing front flips back flips and wait a minute borland can do a back flip he couldn't the first time i've got hey i gotta tweet this video out the first time he tried to do a back flip i have a video of it and he's he starts to go and he thought for sure he was gonna do it and then he just jumps back back flop oh back flop oh it was great but he did nail it he got back up on the horse he did a back flop. Oh, back flop. That makes sense. Oh, it was great. But he did nail it. He got back up on the horse. He did a back flip.

He did a front flip. And his cannonballs, guys, are perfection. You'd think I could do the best cannonball, but I can't get my hands around my knees. Jason, I've got a tip for you. I've got this to tell you. Doing a cannonball, a perfect cannonball, is not hard. There's not much skill involved. Say that to my knees.

In a perfect cannonball, as you dap up Al Borland for his cannonball, it's literally, can your knees be... Grab your knees. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, you're wrong. I'm telling you, Mike. Al is nodding. Al is nodding, going like, yeah, yeah.

No, you are 100% wrong. Because when you did it... Al, you're a wizard. I have seen a hundred people do a cannonball before i've seen i mean when he came up i literally said i thought a cannonball was like universal when his cannonball hit i thought a gunshot had gone off the waves in this pool were unbelievable and i'm confident his body filled with water from, I mean, he just landed so hard right down on the bottom. He's still getting rid of

some of that water. I sense a cannonball off is happening soon. Oh, yeah. Let's go. You will lose, Mike. Now, Jason, if you want to get those knees up, I think the real trick is just learn to do the splits. You'll be able to spread them and then hold your knees a little bit easier. So I'm holding

one knee to the left, one knee to the right. That's a dangerous position. You don't want to go in like that. If I lean forward, I'm toast. I can't land in the water like that. That reminds me of the kid from Hook that rolled the cannonball down the... Would you rather do a back

flop, a belly flop, or a split flop? Oh, mercy. All right. Maybe you shouldn't jump in the pool anymore, man. Yeah. Well, the nice thing is when I do a pencil dive, it's like a cannonball. Oh, you got to kill your pencil dive.

Yeah, the belly just automatically cannonballs. How's your can opener? Do you practice a lot, Al? Can opener's great. Can opener's fantastic because that's basically half of what Andy's saying. Put one knee up to the side.

I mean, a can opener is far more efficient. I don't know what a can opener is. That's a type of jump? Yeah, a can opener is a type of cannonball. It's a one knee up because you go into the angle.

What part of you hits the water first? Your leg? Your foot. Your foot does, but you're angled so you do like a rocking chair motion. There's a full wop? angled, so you do like a rocking chair motion.

There's a fuwop? Oh, you fuwop all over the place. Okay. All right. A fuwop? Beautiful fuwop. All right. Sweet mercy.

All right. Bilbo. Bilbo's writing in. Bilbo? Is this Mr. Baggins? We can't stay here, guys, because Bilbo's got a question for us, and we need to get to Bilbo's question. Mr. Baggins.

From the website. From the website. Would you rather have a dog with a cat's personality or a cat with a dog's personality? Oh, that's a fantastic question. Because cats are the worst because of their personalities. A dog that goes and hides in the corner and never sees you? Do you want a dog that wants to kill you? Yeah.

Or a cat that's... No, you have to have the dog with the cat's personality. What? You have to. Is this just an allergy? No, no, no. Listen. Take allergies out.

No, no, it's not allergies. Okay. Because if you give a cat a dog's personality, I'm going to get torn up to shreds. Because when I come home, that cat is excited to see me, and he's jumping all up over me with its nails, and it's biting me. The sheer... What do they call them? Talons? Cat talons?

Claws? You can claw a cat. No, no. Cats have talons for sure. Continue. The cat talons would get me if they're too excited cats. Cats need to be in the corner. If a cat had a dog's body, it would destroy you so fast.

I didn't say. It's a personality. They would own the world no no i'm saying but that's the same thing a cat with a dog's body is a dog you mean like a mountain lion and i and i'm saying yes exactly exactly think about big cats big cats have the body to kill you and so what do they do they kill you that's what they do because inside of their heads they are monsters oh my goodness so yeah i'm definitely taking the the cat body with the dog personality because i look i know it's not as cool to like small i love small dogs i love them i would i would prefer i've got two big dogs and

i love your team small dog i'm not team small dog because i love all dogs but and I love them. You're a team small dog? I'm not team small dog, because I love all dogs. But I also really like, I don't have any problem with small dogs. I want to be able to have them on my lap when I'm doing anything. And sometimes- What's your ideal breed? My ideal breed is definitely hypoallergenic. So I would say some kind of small poodle. Okay. Like a toy poodle?

Yeah, something like that maybe maybe maybe a little mix uh i can i want to see jason playing with a toy poodle just carrying it around it would be incredible yeah i agree it would be incredible i'd love it uh i'm still afraid of the cat talents guys uh mike do you have any final answer here? I mean, if we're taking allergies out, it's the cat personality that's the problem. So if it's a cat with a dog personality, I'm going to have some scratches. I'll deal with it. Think about how cute kittens are. How soft.

Oh, yeah, they are. They're wonderful. But then they grow up and the personality changes where they don't want anything to do with you and they hate you and they want to kill you. And so if it doesn't, it was like, oh, you still love me. You're still cute and fluffy and I would love cats then. All right, we're going to do some Jason Explains before we move on to the Situation Room. All right.

I guess I have to push this button now. Jason Explains in 60 seconds. Now, Al has the wheel. We don't know what the wheel will select and uh we're gonna find out and jason you have 60 seconds to explain puppets oh puppets are easy actually i grew up as a puppet master so what puppets are yes that's what they're called Actually, I grew up as a puppet master. So what puppets are? That's what they're called. That's what they're called, a puppet master. If you graduate to an advanced status of doing at least three puppets, you are known as a puppet master. Now, there are several kinds of puppets. You have marionette puppets. Those are the ones that dangle

from strings and you play God above. There are the puppets that your hand goes inside of it. It can be as simple as a sock, a brown paper bag, or a really, really nice one. And then there are other puppets that are called puppets, and I just absolutely disagree. They aren't puppets. They don't have anybody up them or above them. They're just called stuffed animals.

And those are not puppets, just so everybody knows. Now, sometimes there's a hybrid. Is that the second half? You're naming all non-puppets? All non-puppets are, yes, absolutely. Now, there is a hybrid here that is the clear winner. And the puppet is the hand up the back and you still have the stick to control the hands. So that gives you wide range of motion.

I'm pretty confident Sesame Street. Look, I guess the best puppet is when you get to wear a costume. Are you still a puppet? That's absolutely a puppet, Mike. I'm explaining what puppets are. You're the hand in that situation. Big Bird is a puppet, not a costume. And that is all you need to know wow about so that i i take it my biggest takeaway

from this explanation which was i mean eye-opening to say the least the metallica song master of puppets i got my whole life i thought it was about one thing i'm wrong it's about an expert of puppets he's an expert of puppets. He's a master of puppets. That's absolutely right. The puppet master. I've never been simultaneously sure that you knew everything and nothing about a topic more than in that 60 seconds.

So I appreciate it. Thank you. You're half right. We got to know. The Situation Realm. Well, now we'll never know. You ruined it, Mike. What did you ruined it mike you what did you want to know what did you want to know i have to know if jason's actually a master of puppets like to jason you have you have it like it your your background is unbelievable and i feel like

we peel off layers and i learned things about you all the time despite the fact feel like we peel off layers. And I learned things about you all the time. Despite the fact, yeah. Like, we learned you were an award-winning mime. I've known you for going on the- You won awards for that? Yes. Yeah, you don't remember? I've now known you for the better part of my life. Or the worst part of my life.

I was going to say. I knew that was coming. Are you really? Are you skilled with puppets? I have to say. I knew that was coming. Are you really? Are you skilled with puppets? I have to know. I am. And I had a puppet. I had a puppet growing up named Sam.

And I used it for auditions. And I would see Garth Brooks when the thunder rolls. And it was so funny. I crushed with it. And it was the puppet with. It was so funny. I crushed with it. And it was the puppet with the hand up the back and the stick for the arm. I crushed. I was straight up a Metallica master puppet. Yes, absolutely.

Thank you for the clarity, Mike. You are correct. Now, I was a kid then, but I still was pretty much a master. You know, there are people out there, Mike are correct. Now, I was a kid then, but I still was pretty much a master. You know, there are people out there, Mike. Unbelievable. They just say they've done everything, and it might not be true. Yeah, that's why I had to know. That's why pictures exist for social media.

I still own that puppet in a box somewhere. I've never been able to throw it away. No, you do not. At this point, he is so nasty looking because it's 25 years old or something. I'm pretty sure that you or your wife could figure out how to clean him up and get us a video. Yeah, that'd be nice. Of the puppet singing Thunder Rolls. Learning more things about Jason every day.

I apologize for the preemptive situation room. We are now in the situation room. Cody from Patreon, you find yourself in the middle of an executive level meeting at a major film company and are told that you have the final decision on the next big movie release. The only criteria is that it must be a remake of another

popular movie but told from the perspective of another character than the original was which movie are you remaking and from this is outstanding point of view i wish i had more time than the 10 seconds i have to think about this so this is let me let me give you the, if you answer Star Wars, then you're saying it's from Darth Vader's perspective or something. That would be a remake that would fit the role here? I feel like you have his perspective. We talked about a hook in this episode.

Imagine Peter Pan from the perspective of Captain Hook. Like the whole movie is following Captain Hook. That would be good. I think that... Didn't they do something like that? Did they do that? Is that what Hook was? I haven't seen Hook in a very long time.

That is not from the perspective of Hook. No, not Hook. I just mean, like, they've done so many spins on Peter Pan and Pan and Peter. So this is just what sequel do you want to see from the vantage point of a... PP. Of the villain? Yeah, exactly. I think those...

Joker. Joker was a different look, right? Where you're looking at... Joker is just... Not recommended for children. Oh, yep. Yes. Yes.

Stay away. For mature audiences. But yeah, where you look at this person that you your preconceived notion about them was was just thrown it was just thrust upon you if you watch batman joker's a bad guy deal with it why is he a bad guy i've got two i've got two that i can't i can't i can't decide between because they're both so good. One, very similar to the superhero bad guy, Thanos. I mean, he's got a lot of layers to him. He thinks he's doing right.

I feel like we saw enough of Thanos. We saw a little bit. Because, honestly, I get it. I get what you're doing, Thanos. Mike was a little compassionate to Thanos. I felt it. I knew he was doing it. He was a contrarian.

Yeah. You know who gets a bad rap and i want to know what it would be like to live in such a wonderful land of oz as a witch as the wicked witch okay isn't there an entire play about that jason oh my gosh that's what wicked is that's right and i that's right a A Tony Award winning production. See? Look, I didn't think about that, but that shows how brilliant I am. I'm 100% taking credit. You're taking credit for what already exists as your idea?

Yes, because it's a Tony Award winning, it's a masterpiece. You won, dog. I have never once seen or listened to the music of Wicked. You haven't seen Wicked? No, I haven't. This is not something I'm aware of. No, he wrote it. He hasn't seen wicked no i haven't this is not something i'm aware of i don't know he hasn't seen it i will write it bro i hate musicals and wicked is wicked it's great it's fantastic uh we went to new york a year ago or so saw a couple musicals

wicked was in the running but we didn't see it. So you went and saw a bunch of garbage instead of seeing something great. Hamilton and Frozen. How dare you? First of all, you'll lose, Mike, because Al will be on our side. I thought it was going to be like I saw cats. No, nobody says that. It's not the 70s

anymore, Mike. We saw dogs with cat personalities. Look, I've been waiting for a long time to see time travel from Biff's perspective. I mean, I really relate to Biff. That's good.

Hey, don't hate the player. Hate the game. That Tyrannosaurus. What was going through his head in Jurassic Park? I'd like to see him grow up a little bit in the wild, and then, you know, he's just trying to get out. And he did. He did. He did get out.

He really got out. He's just trying and succeeding. Yeah, just trying and succeeding. A classic story of success. Yeah. I'll throw out, like, is Voldemort really that bad of a guy yeah yeah i'm gonna say yes as a as a harry potter connoisseur as a baby a baby attempted baby murderer yeah probably yeah i'm just saying i would like to hear what what that was all about the story he was i mean look look

at him look at him in the mirror what he's got no nose. What bullying has he faced? Okay, so I am... Very little, Andy. I am not the Harry Potter connoisseur. I've seen all the movies, have not read the books. So I'm sure there's more details in there. What's up with the nose? Why does he not have a nose?

Did something happen? Or is it just like, there's Voldemort. He doesn't have a nose. So I think the books talk about him having more of like a snake like face but I don't think it was intentionally gonna be that then the movies came out it's like oh did the dude's got a snake head okay yeah I mean and he was kind of when he uh when he took care of Harry in the beginning he was like basically almost dead and then came back so I think that had to do with him

looking so not great. What do you look like when you come back from the dead? The nose is the last thing. Your body nose is not that important. Just put two slots in there and you're good to go. He almost got all the way back, but he couldn't get the nose. He was

slithering back into existence. Oh, there he goes. Kirk from Patreon. The three of you arrive at your office where you find a mysterious duffel bag and a note. It reads, this bag contains $100,000 in cash. If one of you decides to open it and take the bag, he will get to keep the money. And the others will be left with nothing. The person who opens the bag may not share any of the money.

However, if none of you open the bag by the end of the day, each of you will be given $10,000 when you arrive at home. What decision will you make? All for one or one for all? I'm not going to pretend that we had clarity on this question before this episode began but now i know that we all we all know about the bag from the moment we walk into this office and and uh what so what we have done we all mess privately messaged messaged owl borland and we me and owl worked it out and we're going with because the line says

uh there's no sharing essentially that means if multiple people open the bag up you can't share it so that means that there's no money for anybody does that make sense okay we are going that route wow that that's that makes it tough that makes it i'm not sure i followed okay well let's just let's just get to the reveal then and then we'll break the question down i already deleted my answer to jeremy because i didn't my original answer was i didn't think you guys would know about it so i decided that i was going to take the money and then of course that makes it so much easier over the course of the next well no you still have to deal with your conscience but i was gonna assuage my conscience by being really nice to you for four to six months oh like just complimentary like hey would you like a drink uh hey let me get that door for you um sure do you want hey look i

got your favorite meal you know what i mean i assume that we would all know what happens you know oh man he had a chance and i messaged jeremy and i told him yeah i'm taking that money yo um and i'm back to bite you yeah well here, I figured I could just explain it like this. Gambling debt. Look, guys, this is going to take my legs. I like the ponies. That's not bad. The ponies have not been kind.

But in this situation, I feel like I'm doing a service for our local economy. Because if we split. Oh, yeah, that's how we're going to feel too I see what you're saying $70,000 goes away to nothing I'm burning $70,000 that could go

collectively to the three of us and now collectively to the three of us all $100,000 has been delivered collectively as in we are part of the local economy receiving the benefits of you spending our money? If I get $100,000 and you add what you get and what Mike gets together, the three of us got $100,000. That's how I would look at it. I would just own and keep the money.

We would look at it more like you took the money from us. I would also look at it like I would just own and keep the money. We would look at it more like you took the money from us. I would also look at it like that, yes. Like you're a thief. I would respect it, but you also just stole my money. But I only took $10,000 from you. I got $100,000. Don't you guys understand math? Wouldn't you be happy for me?

We're in a business together, so you'd have to... For the record, Mike was the only one that that said he would uh take the 10 grand with each of you oh well now the truth has revealed itself to everyone i didn't say anything that that's the only way to do it with a business because i couldn't have your silence is volumes look but here's the great news andy we have this show and now that jason has stolen all this money from us i think that the two-thirds of us can vote him off the show like survivor style right so he can he can ride off into the wilderness with that money good luck knowing about puppets without me

oh that's a great point that hundred and we hundred grand, you got to pay some taxes. Andy, we will have to learn how to master puppets. Yeah. Well, Mike, first things first, don't grab a stuffed animal. Those aren't puppets. That's true. So that's a good place to start. Unfortunately for you, Jason, I learned everything I need to know about puppets in 60 seconds.

I learned it in about 30 seconds, and the other 30 seconds was useless. So, yeah. Man. I mean. There's really only one way to find this out, and that would be obviously somebody volunteering a bag of $100,000 so that we can do the experiment. I nominate Mike. I will.

Just email me, and I'll get it set up for everybody. I promise. Just Venmo me your money. Venmo me 100 grand. I'll put it in a bag. And I will take it. This sounds great. I'll go from there.

Oh, my goodness. All right. You guys ready to draft? I hope so. The Spitballers Draft. All right. Today we are drafting a Mount Rushmore of iconic actors. And we're going to do the same thing with actresses on another episode.

We thought about combining them. There's too many to choose from, so we figured let's split it up, and we'll do a Mount Rushmore of actors, a Mount Rushmore of actresses. Indeed. On separate shows. So Jason has the very first pick as indicated by the get catch kapow.

Yeah. Get off the show. Followed by the kapow. Now I've put my list together. I've got like 10 that I really like and plenty more if you guys draft well. But I'm looking at my list and I'm thinking, man,

I'm jealous of where Mike's at. I think that – It's not a bad place to be. That turn is good. But you want to know where the best place to be is, Mike? The 101. The 101 is the best. And I will offer you the 101 and the 303 for the 2-3 the one, three, and the two, one.

I'm offering a trade. We're trying to switch positions? Yes. What do you think? Give me the numbers again. All right, so I'm going to give you my first. No. All right, well, that settles it.

Because that was the best piece of my ammo. So if you're not accepting the first pick, I guess I'm on the clock. Yes. So you feel like you're in a tough position with the 101, Jay. I love the 101. I've got a clear 101. So much he tries to trade it. He doesn't need it, but he loves it.

No, it's a matter of by the time people come back to me, I'm worried about the two Mike kids because I think Mike can grab... You should not be worried about Mike. I'm not going to worry. I'm going to take Tom Hanks. The guy that has never made a bad movie, that has been in comedies, dramas, classics, sports movies. There's no

genre he hasn't been a part of. And everyone, every actor just has made, every major actor has just made a handful of garbage movies, just movies that are unwatchable. Hasn't he made some bad movies? No.

Name his bad movies. Hold on, hold on. It was those Inferno movies. Joe vs. the Volcano? Oh, Joe vs. the Volcano was great. Those are kind of splash. No, not Joe vs. the Volcano. And the. the Volcano was great. Those are companies. No, no, not Joe vs. the Volcano. And the Dante...

Dante's Peak? That wasn't Tom Hanks. That was Pierce Brosnan. Didn't he do some Da Vinci codes? Are those good? Those were great. He was the Da Vinci... Best-selling books.

Those were great. Oh, best-selling books was the answer to whether the movie was good? That's like saying Harry... Best-selling books. Yeah, Harry Potter's not the best movie of all time. I just watched a Harry Potter movie last night because it's part of best selling book. Look, if you're going to try to disparage Tom Hanks, I'm not.

No, I just be credits. You're going to be making a fool of yourself. He's a great actor. He should be up there. Yeah, I got the one on one. Oh, I was going to throw up Mama Mia, but apparently he's the executive producer. Dots the bullet on that one. Yeah.

All right. Stand by it. So fair pick belongs on the Mount Rushmore. That's where I would have gone with my first pick. So do I have the next pick? That's right? You do. Great.

Okay. Okay. I'm worried about some of these guys getting back to me because Mike's got a couple picks. I don't know why everyone's so... You guys know how I do things. Why are you so worried about my picks? I'm going to take Leonardo DiCaprio. Come on, man! Of course Mike would have taken him.

That's one of the two I knew you were going to take that I wanted. Leo is the GOAT. I am on record. I know I would take Tom Hanks for my first pick, but Leo is the greatest of all time. Yeah, so I'll take Leo. Put his name in a movie and I'm seeing it. I don't care what it is. Honestly, I'm a little bit happy we didn't make that trade because i did not think andy would go leo and

he was one of the two i wanted with your picks mike i'm just so happy you don't get him now it kind of would have been better if you had done the trade and then been super disappointed that would have been fun too but i'll take leo and mike you get two picks to make up for not getting the one you want here's here's the problem like that's my top two is it's easy peasy lemon squeezy that that's the two i would go with so yeah i get two back-to-back picks but now i feel like i'm down a tier you're down a tier but there's still there's one i really really want there's two i really just don't take it that's that's the important thing no there's one i really want now i have't take it. That's the important thing. No, there's one I really want. Now I have to. Now my entire job is just figure out

who those actors are. I don't even care about my team. You haven't picked anybody yet, right? Or have I? Who might he have picked is what he wants to know. What was that one you thought I picked? Gene Hackman. R.I.P.

He's still alive. Still kicking. Still kicking. We're still doing that bit? At least when we recorded it. Yeah. All right. I think Betty White's fine too right now.

Whole man. We keep playing with fire with these pre-recordings. All right. Mike. All right. Number one. So with my first pick,

which he was recently in a movie with Leo DiCaprio, and he is one of, I think, the best actors of all time, at least the modern ages. Jason, you don't know who I'm picking. I'm worried. You don't need to be. Okay, I'm taking Brad Pitt. That's who I was worried you were going to take. That's who I wanted.

You said he was recently... You thought Brad Pitt would make it all the way back to your second pick. That is buffoonery. No, I did not, which is why I wanted to trade. I was hoping to get Leo and Brad Pitt at your picks. Thankfully, you didn't get one of them. So you would trade, just for the record,

you'd trade Hanks for Leo and Brad Pitt. That's right. That's exactly right. I would too. I would not pick that But you want to know who I wouldn't trade Tom Hanks for? Brad Brad Pitt. That's right. That's exactly right. I would too. I would not pick that. But you want to know who I wouldn't trade Tom Hanks for? Brad Pitt and whoever this next pick is. Yeah, that's the problem. John Candy might come around to you. John Candy's a national treasure.

Yeah, that's what I figured your next pick is. It's not. It might be. It's not. I don't want to ruin the tension that we have created, but I am not taking him. So I will take... Oh, my gosh.

This is an impossible situation of knowing who will... Now I'm Jason. Just pick the wrong person. That's all you got to do. Oh, I feel like I'm 100% going to do that. All right, I'll take even though his prime... Oh, Andy's

face is just destroying me right now. His prime was a little bit before my era. That doesn't mean that the guy wasn't still absolutely crushing it. I will take the OG Joker. I will take Jack Nicholson.

That's a good pick. He was on my list. I figured he would be someone that I might be toiling with at my next pick if the better names weren't taken. I love Jack Nicholson so much. Jackle Nicholson. Jackle the old Jackle. They call him the old Jackle. Jackle Nicholson. I love him so much I don't know his name. With my next

pick, I will take Quality over Quantity, I will take quality over quantity. I will take Daniel Day-Lewis. Oh, all right. See, he is on my list. And there will be blood. Gangs of New York. What's wild about Daniel Day-Lewis is 100% his acting,

just his acting ability is unbelievable but do you want to hang out with Daniel Day-Lewis? No, no, no, no. I feel like no and he's going to be up on a big old like I don't know why but Mount Rushmore instead like that fact this it factors into my decision making do I

actually want to hang out with these people now that you want to hang out with Jack Nicholson either oh yes you do Jack Nicholson seems like a absolute right he is he jack nicholson is your hilarious grandpa i'm worried that if you hung out with jack nicholson for 10 years he may never have known you were in the room very possible yeah that's that's that's true uh all right so jason gets a couple i went with daniel day lewis all right yeah so daniel day lewis when it comes to just quality of actor phenomenal i don't always i don't really enjoy his movies like they're just not fun to me they're always they're always how much did you love

lincoln andy parts of uh all the daniel day lewis parts were great. How much of Lincoln did you see, Andy? All the Daniel Day-Lewis parts. He went to sleep for the rest. Exactly. But I get both of my guys together in Gangs of New York. So I'm putting them up on Mount Rushmore as a little bit of a combo. You know what I mean? It's unbelievably great.

I am thrilled to be here. I thought for sure that both of these guys could go to Mike. John Candy's still on the board. You're right. John Candy is still there. I'm super excited. I love Candy. Yeah, you can RIP that one, by the way.

Oh, you can go Candy. John Candy and James Cagney. They sound very similar. I mean, it's tempting. And you have two picks. But instead, I'm going to take someone that I know Mike absolutely loves, one of his favorite actors of all time. You talk about wanting to hang out with the wily old grandpa.

Dude, Harrison Ford. I can't believe you actually took Harrison Ford. You give me Indiana Jones and Ron Solo. I cannot believe you actually took. I don't believe you actually like Harrison Ford. You're doing this in spite. You're doing this to hurt me. No way. Look, you and I, I think our list of people are actually far more similar than you think.

And he is next on my list. So, you know, to me, my list went Tom Hanks, Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, and then this next guy who does all his own stunts, and he's crazy in real life. Yes, take him but i am taking tom cruise i want you underrated underrated many people better than tom cruise when it comes to the variety i mean it's not just you look at natural normal stunts no it's not go watch born on the 4th of july he's reallyts. He's really good. Jerry Maguire. I mean, you're crazy to think it's on the comedy.

What's the movie that he was that funny? Oh, my gosh. A Few Good Men is amazing. You're crazy to think he's just stunts. I didn't draft Arnold Schwarzenegger. He just stunts. Rain Man? I mean, that's the worst take you've ever had. Rain Man, born on the 4th of July.

Jerry Maguire, A Few Good Men. men i mean his stunts are great don't get me wrong the problem with that is jack reacher is that in every single movie he plays the role of tom cruise except for the ones we named yeah except when he's tom cruise yeah no no you have not seen those two movies i have seen both of those movies when Tom Cruise plays Tom Cruise. Let's just let it go. Let me just say this, Mike. A lot of people listening, they might not have seen these movies, and they might go, oh, yeah, totally.

Mike's right. But for everyone who's seen those movies, they're thinking that you have not seen those movies, and you're straight up lying because in those movies, he was unbelievable. No, he played the role of Ethan Hunt in those movies, yes. So, I've got Tom Hanks. You can play either Tom Cruise or

Ethan Hunt. Ethan Hunt without all the stunts. Or Jack Reacher. Tom Hanks, Harrison Ford, Tom Cruise, I am very happy. Yeah, no, Tom Cruise is great. That was the end of the whole argument. I'm trying to win over him and I love Tom Cruise

for my third pick. I will take an actor that I he just demands my attention no matter what movie he's in. It's Denzel Washington. Speaking of a man It's Denzel Washington. Speaking of, a man who plays Denzel Washington in every movie. Oh, I don't care, though.

Unapologetically fine with it. Give me a speech. That is so correct. It is so correct. Give me a speech. I don't care. Denzel, I want to see you give an inspiring speech to anybody in any movie for 10 minutes in a row. Denzel was next on my list. He was the

dream of coming back to me. You're 100% right. He is totally okay playing himself because he's the coolest guy in the world. One of the most underrated Denzel movies is The Hurricane. Go watch it.

If you've never seen The Hurricane, go watch it. That's the boxing one right about Reuben Carter Denzel's fantastic I'm just besmirching people to try and win all he does is act in these movies he's just acting

he's not even the real guy he's not even the real guy he keeps playing characters over and over. All right. Well, this is from a script. The person I thought Jason was going to take, which make no mistakes about it. You taking Harrison Ford has cut me deeply.

It's like you take and Leo's gone. The bag of the money well i didn't even have a chance to like take leo i could have taken harrison yeah i i assume one of you would have taken jack on that run but i could be very wrong possible uh but it it does leave the person who i thought jason was going to take to try and destroy my soul, who you want to talk about a Daniel Day-Lewis level of method actor, the dude who weighed like 80 pounds in one role, only to weigh like 220 when he turned into Batman. I will take Christian Bale, my friends.

It's a good pick from an acting perspective. It completely undermines your entire argument about Daniel Day-Lewis. Look, because you don't want to hang out with Christian Bale, and I know you don't. And you know you don't. People say he is not the best hang. I stand corrected. Oh, this whole draft is all over the place. Oh, good for you. Oh, this whole draft is all over the place. Oh, good for you.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, that's... All right, that's a very fair pick. But I'm a good actor. I mean, like I said, you're just putting him up on Mount Rushmore. I've got Tom Cruise. You've got Christian Bale. You've got Daniel Day-Lewis.

We're even on the, you know, don't want to hang out side. That's fair. Jason's getting more than 60 seconds on Scientology if he hangs out with Tom. No, I'm not. This is just a work of art on the mountain, my man. Oh, man. I shouldn't say my man. That builds up Andy's team.

Thank you. My man. My goodness. All right. I am so unbelievably. I am crushed by the weight of this last pick because there's three guys. It's saying no to so many too that i i desperately want to draft for my rush more i get and i don't want no teddy roosevelt's on my

on my rush more is what do people like teddy roosevelt is that like i think people like teddy roosevelt but he's not on the level of those other george washington thomas jefferson abraham natural history museum he's he's a big thing he made there he's not on the level of those other... George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln. Natural History Museum? He's a big feature there. Who would you say is the fourth biggest president after those three? Taft is the biggest. That is an unbelievable historical

burn, my friend. Unbelievable. How did you get to that so quickly? I always have Taft on the front of my mind. Well, I've given him a lot of experience. Taft is the one who got stuck in the bathtub, right? I've given Andy and yourself a lot of experience of quick-witted fat jokes.

Unbelievable, man. I mean, would it be JFK? Would JFK, would they destroy the face of Teddy and replace him with JFK you need a Mount Rushmore part 2 that's what you gotta do you gotta get a second edition and JFK's probably in there

oh goodness alright I've narrowed it down to the two guys that I want this is our Rushmore there's really no no uh like check marks that you have to click off of the box to have made it this is just our personal rush more yeah i mean i think part of why teddy's i'm sorry what pictures of president taft are coming through our slack channel at the moment. Big dude. Look.

All right. So he's on mine. And I got to cancel out the quotient, the anti-cool quotient of Christian Bale. You need someone to hang out with? I got to get the coolest dude in the room. And this might be a little bit more quantity over quality because I don't know if he's said no to a role in his entire life. No, I know who he's going to be. I will take Samuel L. Jackson. He doesn't say no to Capital One or any role.

Jackson is the baddest man in the room, no doubt about it. If you had to pick a random movie over the last 30 years sam jackson's in it for sure i was just saying bet your house on checking the credits whether he's in or out which way do you go if you're picking any actor you're going just give me sam jackson yeah i i'll be honest with you i kind of thought you might because it's you mike and because of how much you love and respect him i thought you might go Keanu Reeves right there. I thought there was a chance you'd just put him up there because he's so cool. I told you I had three guys, and I narrowed it down to two.

The second one would have been Keanu. Who's the third? I will tell you when the draft is done. Now, I have my final pick. Now, who are your four, Mike, just so we can picture your Mount Rushmore right now. Let's see. So I have Brad Pitt. Or Al might know them.

I got Brad Pitt, Jack Nicholson. I got Sam Jackson, and I got Christian Bale. Okay. All right. And right now I'm sitting with Leo DiCaprio, Daniel Day-Lewis, Denzel Washington. And I'm having a hard time, gentlemen. Oh, I know. and I'm having a hard time, gentlemen, because I am now in the vortex of if I take this guy, then I'm playing into who you think I am.

Oh, yeah, do it. Screw that crap, man. Be who you are. Be yourself. Now I feel manipulated. What? By who? You know what?

If I have to manipulate you to be who you are, then so be it. I want you to be you. This is a Mount Rushmore, and I'm going to put a classic actor in it. I'm going to put one with five Oscars and who I enjoyed watching. I'm going to take Jimmy Stewart. I'm taking him. He's on my Mount Rushmore.

He's one of the best actors of all time. He may be older, but Rear Window is one of my favorite movies ever. He was the tom hanks of his day hey what's me jimmy stewart that's not bad man that's not bad now why do you know how to do that because he's so iconic i can name one jimmy stewart movie and then you brought up rear window and i will i uh it's a wonderful life you know that i can name yeah i can name two jimmy stewart movies but i he's got that he's got the pedigree of of being you know an oscar winner for many years so i will go with him did he win like the first oscar of all time he won

the very first there was one movie a year and he was in them so he got all he got five i think i think his fifth oscar he did compete with another movie you probably had to watch mr smith goes to washington in in high school oh my gosh i did you are correct oh you're i i blocked that ptsd from watching that thing goodness and he he was in a bunch of hitchcock movies too which are classics mr smith bores the crap out of mike wright it's the name of that movie if i I saw that, I deleted it from my memory. Look, I'm not expecting you to. He always played Jimmy Stewart in the movies he was in.

I respect it. And if you actually like Jimmy Stewart, I mean, that's. What about the knives? I know that because he's like. He's in that Christmas movie, right? It's a caricature. Yeah. It's a Wonderful Life is the Christmas movie that people seem to like so i'm i'm just sticking to who i am good for you rear window is one of my

favorite movies of all time he is an esteemed i don't know he what's the uh what's the hitchcock movie where the plane comes after him i've actually seen that one the iconic scene where he's running in like in a field birds And then a prop plane comes after him. It might have been birds. I don't know. No, it's definitely not birds. We can go to Jason while we try to figure this out. Yeah.

Jason, get some. Man, that was tough. You took Jimmy Stewart off of my list. I was between him and Laurence Olivier, but. Whatever, man. I don't care. We'll see. Now, I still want we'll see North by Northwest

I've seen it Rushmore's in that movie I think Rushmore wasn't made when Jimmy Stewart was around I'm the final pick and I'm struggling here whether to go with mine or the best. I can't wait to talk about this after your pick, too.

Are you just going to take my Keanu pick? No, no, no. Keanu wouldn't be the me pick. So I'll tell you right now who I'm deciding between. Morgan Freeman is, you know, he's not the lead, but he is unbelievable. His voice is great. He's number two behind Samuel L jackson in movie quantities as well absolutely he's at least voiced something in every movie you've seen um but i feel like to have

and i realized that and and maybe i'm skewed because i came up with a comedy background and and i was always so upset that comics comic actors didn't get any credit for being incredible at their craft you know you look you look at i know what's coming exactly i know what's coming and the thing is is you look at like the oscars the fact that they don't have a yearly best comedic actor the way that the golden globes does wait hold on hold on you're blowing my mind right now there's no oscar for best like best comedy correct and that's that's no that's not that's a travesty um and so there's not a best comedy gloves right yeah golden globes has it no oscars don't care about comedy they only care about drama and so look this is not going to be a vote getter people are going to be like i just drafted hearing me until that? I just drafted Jimmy Stewart, so you're fine. Yeah. So this is really your chance to win here, Mike.

But I have to – if I walked away from this, this was my plan to take the him as my fourth pick. Take the him? What are you, Starfire? Take him with my fourth pick. It's Jim Carrey. But Jim Carrey is absolutely on my list. The best comedy actor of our generation. We talk about all these guys we love, Adam Sandler and Chris Farley and all these guys.

And when we go back and we look at their IMDb and it's like, they really had like two peak movies. And Jimmy Carrey had a run of five or six just unbelievably great movies. Even movies that were maligned like Cable Guy that you go back and watch them later and you're like, that's hysterical. Oh, Cable Guy is great. I just, it's interesting that we're going actors and and you took a comedian who, like, he wanted so badly, and, like, he had it inside of him that he wanted to be an actor so much that he decided that he would just destroy his career. Well, I think the comedy just fades eventually.

You can't do the same shtick forever and be funny at the same thing. The show and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind are both outstanding movies. Eternal Sunshine is very good. eventually you you can't do the same shtick forever and and be funny and eternal sunshine of the spotless mind are both outstanding eternal sunshine's very good i'm thinking of the majestic and that like because that was the that was less that was less good i feel like that's when it went off the rail but he could do it yeah he he he's a he's a good enough actor and i have to have some comedy on my list and he's sonic theedgehog. I would leave that one off. What was the other one he did when he, Charlie Kaufman, right? He was.

Oh, yeah. Oh, Man on the Moon. Yes. I mean, that was like a method acting experience for Jim Carrey. I'm just giving you points here. I mean, of all the comedy. I don't think they like the movie. It doesn't matter if you like the movie. I don't like a lot of the movies Daniel Day-Lewis is in, but he's amazing.

What was that? Leo was in the movie where he was Howard Hughes. That was 640 hours long. Oh, the aviator? That movie is great. Well, he was outstanding, but it was really long. All I remember is him pooping and peeing in jars. That's literally the only thing.

And that was the best acting he did. So other actors that were in consideration, I didn't want him up on Mount Rushmore, but to be honest, for a run there, Mel Gibson was by far my favorite actor. Okay, that's fair. Incredible. And then Clint Eastwood was in consideration too. Was he? But then I think of Clint Eastwood, the director,

so much more now than I do the actor. I just think of the decrepit man. Paul Newman, Michael Caine. That was about it. All right. Yeah. For me, the guys that I was really struggling with as the aforementioned

keanu reeves and a guy who i think i think he's super underrated because his name hasn't even come up is benicio del toro oh he's so great he's so good he is freaking fantastic man like he he absolutely transforms from movie to movie he's good for sure like a gary oldman gary oldman is like yeah yeah sure gary oldman doesn't get the respect because he's not he's not the lead he's the and and because you don't even recognize him in half the movies he's in it's you know he's so different that it's like you don't even know who he is so we'll do a full Mount Rushmore of actresses on a future episode. And one other name left off. William Howard Taft wasn't drafted.

But could have been. And you know what's funny is he used to be one of my favorite actors because I thought he was incredible. My man, Jay Depp, Johnny Depp. Oh, yeah. But he has become a caricature. Johnny Depp is now Jack Sparrow. Yeah, Johnny Depp plays Jack Sparrow in every movie he's been. He's Jack Sparrow now.

He doesn't know how to not be Jack Sparrow. And I don't blame a man for going after the bag, because I know that he is getting absolutely drowned in cash to go be Jack Sparrow. But it's an unfortunate move that happened for him where he was crushing it. From a respect standpoint, yeah. Yeah, he was in incredible movies. His roles were always really diverse, and now he's Jack Sparrow.

The two other guys I had on my list outside of Morgan Freeman, these were more in the vein of can do. I can't believe you took Harrison Ford. Yeah, you know it. You turd. But Robert Downey Jr., I think, is actually phenomenal. I appreciate people that can do comedy. And here's somebody that, look, I think he's unbelievably talented. And this one might get mocked.

People like him, but you wouldn't think of him on this level. But I think Ryan Reynolds is unfathomably talented. It's fair. it's fair to me i think ryan reynolds is great he has so much charisma i think you just can't you you can't teach that as comedy and and he can be serious it's fine i mean yeah i think andy's face is what i expected but i think he's great the two names that will get yelled at for on twitter i understand but don't they're just not in in my pantheon and clearly not in yours. And that's

Robert De Niro and Al Pacino. Give me Al Pacino a hundred times over Robert De Niro. I agree with that. I was wondering if they would come up. And Marlon Brando for those that are huge Marlon Brando fans. It's me, Marlon Brando. Well, there he is. Hello.

Marlon, thanks for joining us here on the Spitballers podcast. Because you're drafting me. For a second, I thought Sly Stallone was trying to get drafted right there. I think Marlon hates Stallone. I'm not exactly sure. But let's do this. What did we learn today? Oh, come on.

We all know what I learned today. What did you learn today? Jason is come on. We all know what I learned today. What did you learn today? Jason is the master of puppets. Come on. I learned that Thomas Jefferson was the fourth member of Mount Rushmore today. Oh, man. Yeah. And that Taft was underrated.

Yeah, no, I learned that Jason has a long storied history that we're going to learn about over the next 100 episodes of this show. So that's true. That is it for today's Spitballers episode. Feel free to yell at us on Twitter about your favorite actor. Oh, I'm sure the yelling will. At SpitballersPod. It will definitely happen, but I hope you enjoyed the episode,

and we will see you next time. Thank you for listening. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to check out spitballerspod.com hey the show's over just wanted to say thank you no thank you for listening we appreciate it and if you want to learn more about how you can support the podcast head to spitballerspod.com click the

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