Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 106: Important Studies & The Perfect Sack Lunch

Episode Date: July 6, 2020

Studies show this episode is hilarious. During our ‘Would You Rather’ segment, we discuss IKEA furniture assembly, losing your copy/paste function, and Mike’s video game collection. Then we tackle some ‘Great Questions’ about petty annoyances that you refuse to let go and improvising confidence. We go back to elementary school for the draft and pick our perfect sack lunch! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the show: Become an Official Spitwad! Visit us on the Web Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Instagram Subscribe on YouTube Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/spitballers/posts See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Oh, I loved it. I loved it. Came in with a long one. Yeah, but you didn't just lean on the high pitch. You accentuated. You scattered.

It was great. I loved it. You told the story, man. You're for the people, man. That is a beginning, a middle, and an end. You always go a little bit longer on the scat than we do, but it's beautiful. What happens is I end and then I think,

I need more. I need more. I have failed. The spit wads, if you're listening at home whatever watching on the youtube jason's face 20 seconds before that intro music played i have i don't know if i've ever seen jason embarrassed ever like this is one of the one of one of the traits that i admire the most about he doesn't get embarrassed He doesn't get embarrassed.

He doesn't get embarrassed. He rolls with. He doesn't have allergies. True. But he rolls with anything. The man is impervious to shame in a good way. Not in a negative way. In a very positive way.

And then 20 seconds before this thing started, we realized he was tilting about doing the scat and his face turned into a tomato. There are very few things that I tilt in that way over and they don't make sense, but they are there. I freak. He is a man with- So one out of every three weeks, you get a little embarrassed. I get a 30 second experience of what other people feel like.

He is a man of an improv background who has done things on a stage where he doesn't know what he's going to do in front of random strangers. No problem. And we can cut this. This is a podcast. The scat in front of three of his best friends. That's the limit, man. Oh, man. It's amazing. We've got a great show for you today. Would you rather? That's the limit, man. Oh, man. It's amazing.

We've got a great show for you today. Would you rather? That's a great question. What I think will be a very entertaining draft to conclude the show. You can follow us on Twitter at SpitballersPod. SpitballersPod.com. Thank you, genuinely, to all of the supporters of the Spitballers Podcast. Our Spitwad family over there on Patreon,

we appreciate you. Love your questions, love your suggestions, your ideas, everything you bring to the show. That's what makes it so great, that and Jason's scats. Yes. Let's go ahead and kick it off. Let's do it. Would you rather all right this question comes in from yusaki hmm i feel like i was trolled uh from the website you just got got yeah i think i got got and and really that's

it's kind of like a double layer because Al Borland was supposed to like audit those things for me. I really think it's Yasuki. Oh, okay. Sorry. I don't think it was a troll. Okay. Sorry. I just said it horribly.

That's what happened. It's just a cell phone. Yeah. Would you rather have to use utensils for every single thing that you eat or never be able to use utensils again? you eat or never be able to use utensils again and i'm laughing because my first mental picture with this question is me trying to eat a bag of chips oh utensils with utensils like i would probably just give up on chips as a thing boom it would have to be a spoon would it be that or like tongs like salad tongs i feel like tongs or chopsticks could get it done. Would that count, though? I guess chopsticks would count, but I don't think tongs wouldn't count.

You've got to be, you know. That's fair. But you're right. You're right. Aren't tongs just basically like chopsticks for people who don't know how to use chopsticks? You could take two forks and make tongs with your hands. I look like an idiot when I try and use chopsticks. I wish I could use them, but I've tried so many times. I just can't figure it out.

I can't stand having any kind of Asian food without chopsticks. Jason's a master of them. Yeah. Well, you know, it's the food wheelhouse. So I've kind of mastered that realm. But yeah, I mean, the difference, though, tongs are large. You wouldn't eat with a serving spoon. Utensils are like fork, knife, spoon. But but i'll accept chopsticks which would be my go-to for

chips chips what else would be very difficult i mean it would be weird to eat like chicken nuggets and chicken fingers but that's not hard are we talking about items with what would be difficult to eat with utensils because i could think of plenty of things like enjoy your enjoy your cereal without a spoon. Yeah, I would just make some things more awkward, but I could still eat M&M's with a spoon. I mean, that's not the end of the world. It might be the beginning of the world.

Spoon's coming through the clocks right now. I did that, actually. We were on a trip this past weekend, and I used a spoon. What? You're just like, this question comes at it over, and you're like, oh, yeah, I was just scarfing down M&M's with a spoon or what? What is the story? The story is that I was eating a bag of kettle corn and I got to the bottom of the bag

where it's much more difficult to eat with your hands and I poured it into a cereal bowl and I ate it with a spoon. I mean, I guess we know your answer. You're a man of the future. with a spoon. I mean, I guess we know your answer. You're a man of the future. I think I'd rather have utensils. I think I can make it work. Now, let me ask you this.

I know Jason's been there. Andy, I believe you have been there as well. What is the best part about going to Medieval Times, the entertainment restaurant where, I mean, you watch really sub-average horse riding. Yeah, it's the food. It's the bad acting. It's the food. But what's specifically about the food?

Because the food is fine. It's eating it with your hands. It's eating with your hands. There are no utensils. I'm ripping this chicken apart. And it's socially acceptable because everyone is. Yes. And it feels great.

Yeah, but that's because it's special. If you did it everywhere, it wouldn't feel special. You'd be like. Have you been to that Future Times place where they make you eat with this shiny stick? It's so great. I think it feels special because you're like there's somewhere inside of me i remember i remembered my ancestors remember doing this it feels primal it feels like it feels wrong it feels illegal there because you're like because you can't do it it feels like you're not in a civil at me. Not in a civilized world. I'm all messy. See, but here's the thing.

Here's the thing. If I was at a nice, fancy dinner, and I had the same meal served to me, which I believe they pretty much always serve the quarter chicken. Some soup. And I'm at this restaurant. $5 worth of food for $99.95. And I am the only person eating that same meal that I love to eat with my hands, but I was not allowed to have utensils there. That would feel completely different.

I would be so embarrassed ripping apart, just getting the greasy fingers and the greasy face. This gives me an idea of the three of us going to medieval times, but full tux and tails. We are just so fancy. Do we bring our own utensils do we no no no but no we that's the that's the funny part he wants the uh contrast is that the point yeah exactly okay uh i'm going no utensils i'm living that life i'll keep life of freedom i can find a way so i'm i'm definitely keeping the utensils okay i just have a couple of questions. You got a bowl of ice cream, Mike. How are you eating this with no utensils?

Is this doggy style? I mean, are you putting this on the... You're putting the bowl on the table and you got to put your face down like a dog bowl? And I'm a little... Yeah. And I'm... Yeah, like a dog. All right, I'm trying. Lap it on up. Yes, the lapping motion.

I think I'm just picking it up, man. Picking up the freezing ice cream. Picking up tomatoes. You're just eating. You're holding a scoop of ice cream while you eat it. I've done that, and it's fine. you have not of course you have when was that not of course you have well i quickly realized who i'm talking to here i've definitely done that yeah when something falls apart when you're having a ice cream cone that falls apart or something that falls apart i've been in that

boat yeah you want to save it with my hands come on jay you you're telling me you've never picked up any type of ice cream and and wolfed it down with my bare hands i honestly can i cannot imagine i can't remember a a situation where i've done that all right we're moving on andy from patreon live in a, would you rather live in a world where computers are no longer able to copy and paste? Oh, no. Or where they could no longer undo or redo? Oh, no. So you know how to undo at all.

Oh, no. Which, that could be terrible. And then copy and paste. We're so conditioned to copy and paste. I legitimately will pick up real books find something that i think is important to share with someone and for that split second think wait how do i copy paste this to somebody right now no i mean it's easy you snap a pic with your phone and well yeah i guess that's true you just disregard all copyright laws who does is that your way around the copy paste in

general then because if you get rid of copy paste you got your phone well see here's the issue you have to look at it so copy paste is it makes things easier right quicker quicker easier for sure meanwhile being able to undo something is like that that is necessary without having to start over so a life of ease versus a life of being able to take back a mistake. I have to take undo redo because the repercussions of not having that undo button are those are full on tragic. Those are the instead of like eliminating a couple seconds from my life. Yeah, the oh shoot, I just deleted it all. You're done. If you don't have a control Z, you're done.

And we've all done that. I use copy paste 100 to 1 or 50 to 1 that I use control Z. I don't use the edit undo all that often, but you're right, Mike. When you need it. I don't make mistakes i'm perfect no i just live with them uh when you need the really important undo that there's no copy paste that

ever carries that kind of weight it's a compelling argument one that i've been persuaded by i'm still not persuaded and also i think i lied about thinking i want to copy paste real books i think what i think what i really do is i think about the control f i think about finding on page oh like if you're looking at a book and you wish oh man where does this book say this oh i have to i have to go to the back like the funny part of recording. Yeah. Sorry, Control-F versus copy-paste, that to me is a real debate because I use Control-F probably more than I actually copy-paste text. I mean, every site, for our footballers business, I'm always Control-F finding something on the page.

It's a really useful utility. I think I would take that over copy and paste i do want to pull our producer here though because since we haven't welcomed him into the show yet al borland is here how you doing al i'm doing great how are you guys doing uh we're doing spectacular thank you for asking uh do you what do you think copy paste or undo redo where do you side in this one What do you think? Copy, paste, or undo, redo? Where do you side in this one?

Copy, paste. Too important. This is a man who's driving without auto insurance. Oh, he doesn't want the undo insurance? This is a man who shares a lot of facts with people. This is a man who, oh, you're probably sending a lot of emails. I get it. We live in a text world where whoever can get the info and you and you get credit you get e-credit the person who can relay the information the fastest oh yeah in

our slack channel credit you you your e-rep goes up you get a few points your quickest you're most well informed you're plugged in look when when we talk about copy and pasting text you know i i don't shots too huh i don't think that yeah because if you're plugged in look when when we talk about copy and pasting text you know i i don't screenshots too huh i don't think that yeah because if you're usually copying that changes yes it is i mean the primary thing that i copy paste is usually a url i you know and i don't think of that as a copy paste i'm sharing my good i'm sharing a link but i can't copy paste a url anymore everything's changing right now when. Now we're writing dirty. Let me say this.

When I accidentally delete something, it's gone because I'm keeping my copy paste. I am absolutely. Okay. All right. Al has pushed us the other direction. I'm going to stick with edit undo because I've done enough Photoshop work and artwork. If I couldn't undo something in there, that would be catastrophic. With you two out of the way, Alanize Ecred is going through the roof.

It is. You will be the sources of information. I remember multiple times of recording our podcast many years ago where I went, click, and they would... Because the whole thing disappeared, but I was able to undo it. But that split moment, it was like my heart just leapt out of my throat. Yeah, that's scary.

We have never. So we've recorded well over a thousand shows for the footballers. We're on over a hundred here. ballers we're on feels like you know over a hundred here but in the in the thousands of shows that we have recorded we have never had to oh gosh don't do this yeah we're talking about superman's cape right now yeah spit and win you just gotta be a really good manager at your clipboard if you're always copying your work and you lose it then you just paste it oh that's not a life i want actually i do that all the time. Yeah, that's a good point.

I do that when I'm writing an important document, but you're not doing that when you're editing this podcast. That is your own edit undo a little bit. Yeah. All right. Let's go here. Megan from Twitter, would you rather complete a task project little by little every day or relax until the last possible minute and knock it out in all

in one fell swoop oof well the first one takes so much discipline also the second one i don't know about the relaxing the stressing i'll talk to my i'll talk to type a commander of this show andy you have a task you know you he's just shaking his head vigorously you know you have a task in your brain like i have to get this done today can you imagine relaxing of any sort i'm not built like jason jason could do that jason has a. You know how you talk about compartmentalizing? His compartments are strong-walled. They do actually separate. Metal beams.

Mine are like the walls in the room go up eight feet, but the ceiling's at ten feet, and it leaks across. It sits in the back of my head, and it feels like a weight. So I love knocking something out, and then I relax. That's the way it works for me. I can't do the first one. When you talk about doing something little by little, a little bit here, a little bit tomorrow, a little bit... When I do a little bit of a project and stop, I'm done.

That thing's never getting a day two. Completed. Yeah, wipe my hands of this. What's tomorrow bringing me? He's got a lot of one-armed tables. That's what he's got. Now, I will have something sit in a box until I desperately need it, and then I'll build the whole thing right then and there.

I am, you know, when it comes to procrastination, I've been this way since birth, but, I mean, high school, college, when there were massively important papers and children be more like andy um i mean there were there were i remember college i tested my own limits i would wait on this paper that we're supposed to be working on oh yeah to the entire semester and see if i can complete it the four hours before it is due. And I always did it. So that table, it's built. I mean, I don't know if you want to lay on top of it.

But it's complete. Somehow I'm right in the middle of both of you where if I have a task, right in the middle of both of you where if I have a task, sometimes I am able to move on and do something else without it just leaping to the forefront of my

brain. But once I start a task, you better not come and bother me because I am laser focused. You're locked in. Yeah, this task is getting done. Was this a task I thought was going to take two hours, and now I'm on hour 12?

It doesn't matter because this laser beam is in. That is a great trait. See, to me, I need. Just don't interrupt that man. That's a problem. Don't interrupt that man. It's a problem. I'm building.

That involves the IKEA directions where I don't think I've ever successfully built something from IKEA from start to finish without hitting an instruction and going. Edit, undo. I'm going to go back a few steps. And then you just have to keep going step by step backwards, backwards, backwards, until you figure out the one time where their graphical drawing did not fully explain which side needed to be forward. When I go backwards and I'm vindicated by the drawings and I go, look, my way was right. There's nothing more.

That's me too. Yes, because it's so infuriating and here you missed three scratch color drawings of the of the diagram so my wife and i this is about a month ago we built this sewing table uh craft supply you know we got this nice uh thing for organization so we're building this and there was this one direction that was like you couldn't tell which way it went like you look at it you have to take a gamble you have to take a gamble you have to and so it's like is this way or that way it could work either according to the picture so we start building this and about two steps later my wife is like i think i think this is wrong i think this is upside down and i'm like did you

did your pride say yes oh we pressed forward we pressed forward all the way till the end and when we were done and i was clearly right because the entirety was built and it was perfect and everything was constructed um and i'm ready to you know pull on my my my gloating because you know usually when you build something wrong you run into a step and it no longer works well this worked but then when you open the uh open the cabinet one of the unfinished side the unfinished side of this you have the one drawer where it's the unfinished side. It's unfinished on the inside and you're going, oh shoot, but you're done. At this point,

you're done. So you have to go, you would have to go all the way back, but also, you have to uncomplete your task. I'm done. I'm checked out. I have done that. Yes. So that you guys know what happened

spectacular you know how you can get uh decorative paper that sticks onto like inside some drawers that's a nice design you enhanced it that's what you did exactly you know it's got a nice floral design on the bottom of that. And you're welcome, honey. The worst part is when your brain tells you, like, you know internally you need to redo it. Yes. But your brain goes, how do I make this work? How do I make this fine? That doesn't need that part. Why do I have so many screws left over?

Help me. Oh, I hate the leftover screws. Not like, oh, there's an extra. Not like the, oh, there's an extra. There's like, oh, there's a bag we didn't use. That's when I tell the wife, I go, yeah, these things are made to be extra sturdy. Those are insurance screws. We didn't need those. Insurance screws.

Insurance screws. That's great. All right. Let's answer some questions. That's a great question. sean from twitter you should never have 25 insurance screws left over by the way uh sean from twitter what are some of the best ways to convince someone you know what you're talking about when you have no clue no clue at all what is the best way to convince people now is this just like a discussion i'm not giving a talk am i no i don't think so i think you're

just i'm just i'm just there's there's a topic. There's a party happening, and I have summoned up the courage that I have broken into a circle, which is already difficult in itself. I have now become the fourth person in this conversation, and I have discovered that they are talking about something that I know nothing about. That's the situation that we find ourselves in. Yeah, but you duped yourself, let's say. Let's say you started this conversation. Okay, all right.

You thought you did know what you were talking about, and so you were pot committed now. You're like, oh, absolutely, yeah. And then you realize it's not what you thought, and you have no idea, but they know that you're an expert. I've got a strategy, and that is to, I mean, at this point in time, it's a pride situation for you you could look foolish so i'd i'd try to appeal to their pride by saying things like conceding that they

already know things for instance you've seen the studies if you insinuate that you've seen all the studies, then they have to say, no, I haven't seen the studies. So you are quadrupling down. Have you ever cited a study that doesn't exist? Well, here's the best part of his plan. The best part of his plan. Dr. Franklin, we all read that paper, right? They have to come back one of two ways they come back and say oh you mean the study about how this thing does this

and so now you do know then you're dead yeah or they come back and say no i'm i'm unaware which means you could say whatever you want they don't know i feel like either way the emperor has no clothes right now but but that's when you say, oh, yeah, I'll send them to you later. First of all, I'll make a note. I'll make a note. I don't want to forget to send you these things. The true answer here is confidence. It is confidence.

Yeah. Whenever you're talking about something you don't know, if you're confident and you speak quickly and boldly and assertively, then everyone knows that you know what you're talking about. If you're kind of struggling about like, you know, well, I think everyone sees through it. You just have to be confident in whatever you say, right, wrong, or otherwise. If you want to stay in this world of trying to convince someone you know what you're talking about, it's all confidence. I mean, you see people, you see those videos where it's like people just confidently walk in a place,

you know, and then get through all the security because it's like people just confidently walk in a place, you know, and then get through all the security because it's just like, sure, they're not worried. People will accept pure foolishness if said confidently, because it seems like you're right. I learned a lot from the film Zootopia, where I don't know if you guys remember this part of the movie where the fox, I think his name is Nick. I can't remember, but the fox is talking to the bunny. Only you know what the fox's name in Zootopia is, Mike.

No, no, Jason. I just watched it like a week ago. Yeah, Zootopia is fantastic. It's incredible. Yeah, thank you. And he's instructing Officer Hopps because she's scared to give a press conference. And he says, all you do is you repeat their question, but then you answer it with your own question. And then you answer that question because now you have – they're like, what do you think about this?

And you're like, well, hold on. What do I think about Frank? And you're like, well, hold on. What do I think about Frank? Well, let me tell you. Interesting. Yes, I like Frank. You completely distract people with a brand new question. I like that. I think those are all good.

That's called politics. You would be elected. Yeah, exactly. Just ask your own question and answer it. It's misdirection yeah exactly that's what it is it's you're misdirecting the conversation yeah but in the end i think we all learned you just cite the the studies yeah the studies are very key studies that's in my back pocket now i cannot wait to break that thing out seen that i you obviously know this to be true

so i mean well but you guys obviously know that my technique is I wait until Andy brings up the studies. I throw a metaphorical smoke bomb and I vanish into the shadows. You say metaphorical, but you're literally saying smoke bomb, throwing your hand to the ground and then leaving. Well, it's way more fun that way that I whisper it that you guys can hear me. Yes. Smoke bomb. It's way more fun that way that I whisper it that you guys can hear me. Yes.

Smoke. That doesn't exactly convince somebody that you know what you're talking about, but it doesn't prove that you don't either if you disappear. I got a small bladder. What are you going to do about it? Chaz from the website has another great question for us. What is the pettiest, silliest, most meaningless hill that you are willing to die on? Oh, man. Now, I can think of one that you guys have brought up before,

but now I am on that side, and that is the over, not under toilet paper. Yes, I'm glad we're bringing that up again because it really should be brought up every episode for the sake of people. The toilet paper needs to be over, not under. You can't take the toilet paper out from the back side. No.

You have no idea what's on that toilet paper. You can't slap it and get all the toilet paper you want. Yeah, you give that thing a yank, and you know what's coming out? The entire roll of toilet paper. I was never partial to one or the other, never paid any mind to it, was ignorant in my foolishness, and then you brought forth the over toilet paper, and I don't care where I'm at.

I choose to believe. I fix it in another home. I'm not going to allow that to stand. I'm changing our society. I choose to believe that this platform that we have has changed the minds of many. Probably. Absolutely. You've seen the studies.

Yeah. We've seen the studies. Yeah. We've seen the studies. We know. We know. But is there something else that... Al, do you have something in your head that you admit is both petty but necessary for you to persist in? I mean, we've all been married long enough that some of those things might come forward. Those cabinet doors got to get closed after you get something out of them.

Oh, really? You've got to close the cabinet. So if it's open, can you be put into a bad mood really quickly? Oh, yeah. Interesting. Do you guys have a word pronunciation that bothers you? Because unfortunately uh my daughter just and and i was i felt like i was very kind with her but the word nuclear oh it's got a it's got nuclear yeah there's nuclear and that's like i i try to be as gracious as i can with words like i'm on

i am fully on the stance of if i make up a word on the spot that I thought was a real word, and you know the message I'm conveying, guess what? That's a new word. I'm not going to give people crap for that. But nuclear, nuclear. That's one that I would just... Gif and jif? Oh, yeah.

Oh, my gosh. I will die on that hill. I will die on that hill. I will die on the hill. It is a gif. You won't die because you'll be surrounded by my army and we will hold that hill. We've been in the tech world for the time that the tech world has been here. It's a gif. I don't care what the owner said.

The creator. Oh, the creator said this. Get out of here. Look. Okay. But here's where the pettiness comes in how does the creator of this format which is a a revolutionary format of that that we use gifts in daily communication how does this person make an acronym that the first word is literally the word graphic,

guh-raphic, and then say, no, it's jif. Like the first word is giraffe-ic. If you'd like to see a man dying on a hill, here it is. Welcome, welcome. He's breaking it down with shame. Look, he lost control of that word once. It's what the populace uses. It's not what the originator means.

No, absolutely not. Unless it's your name. If it's your actual name, you have a right to it over everybody else. He has no right. It is a gift. Welcome to Jurassic Park. Like if I call you Jasson, you say Jurassic Park? Yes, that's what it would be.

Jurassic Park. That's what a Jurassic Park that makes no sense um I also uh I'll throw a couple uh things out there questions during a movie that we're seeing for the same time like I don't know you know what I mean like I don't now we're just talking pet peeves we're not talking about things we're dying on a hill I know what you're saying though when there's so many like I'm okay with one maybe you missed something and you're saying though when there's so many like i'm okay with one maybe you missed something and you're saying hey what what but when i know i do that two or three minutes it's like well what is this i'm like i'm seeing the same movie you're seeing there's a big difference between what did he say and what do you think he's going to do those are two very

different questions i always say like yeah we're gonna find out here it's the part of the plot it's coming up just watch the movie I know exactly what you know at this point yeah I get it hold on let me go reference the script I already read alright let's do one more here before our draft Joel from Patreon

if you see a spider in a room and it scurries off before you can kill it, how long do you have to wait before you consider that room spider free? That is such an important question and it couldn't be more timely in two ways. In two ways. One, I didn't let my kids go swim in the pool yesterday. Why? Because I saw a black widow web between two chairs in the pool area. If I... Wait, wait, wait.

Hold on. Hold on. Yeah. Please educate me. How did you know it was a black widow web? Very easy. Black widow webs are discombobulated and they're not pretty. They're in these crazy directions.

You can always tell what they are. It doesn't look like a real normal web. It looks like a big, like a drunk spider just went every direction spiders do that no no okay i knew it and i said to myself i would google it live except i would die yeah i i could have gotten a broom and cleared out this giant web and let them swim but then there's a hidden secret black widow that nobody knows where it is so instead i had to set an alarm for late at night, ban people from the pool area, wait to creep out there at a late part of the night, and there he lied on his jacked up web right in the middle.

You found him. I got him. Gave him a little spray spray. Wait, do spiders always come back to their web at night? Is this like a- Yeah. They got to come back to eat, man. That's where they chill out in the middle of the night right in the middle of their web wow you don't know a

lot about spiders because you're horribly terrified of them that is right here's what i know i didn't research them very often they're from the devil no i can't research them like i wanted to look up black widow web i'll handle this jason yeah i can't i can't do it so there's a good question though because what happens if it's in the room? Well, the timeline is dependent upon centimeters. That's how it comes down. How do you mean? Well, a one-centimeter spider, the timeline is immediately.

You're okay. It never happened. There was no spider. If it scurries off and it's under one centimeter, no spider. There was never. You saw nothing. Delete from memory. Okay.

But it's exponential growth. I don't believe you. It's not like one. No, I have to, Mike. No, I can see that. I mean, one centimeter. That's small. I have to live that way, Mike.

Because if I don't have the ability to delete spiders from my memory, then every time I see a spider, I move homes. You burn the house down. We were just talking. My wife and I were talking about this downstairs today. I killed a scorpion on our front porch.

Al Borland was there. He saw it. I did. That was with a handgun, right? What technique? I have this porch al borland was there he saw it i did and i took hold on what technique what technique what technique was with i have this is this a boot or a spray uh i know what it was neither it was a the complete works of william shakespeare it is a gigantic book oh you got the book okay i dropped knowledge on him and his mind exploded his tiny little brain couldn't his tiny little brain couldn't handle the entire works of william shakespeare to be fair not many of us can't write the william shakespeare i have to know though because when i left that day that

book was still sitting there on the porch has it moved the book is literally on... My computer is resting upon the book. I can take it out right now. You are moving all over the place right now. I'm moving all over the place so that I can take out the book that it is resting upon. That is such a humongous book. For those of you not able to see it, it is a gigantic, gigantic book. And you use that to kill more than one creature. Oh, absolutely.

But here's the thing. use that to kill more than once one creature absolutely but here's the thing if there was a tarantula on my front porch okay and i could do the same thing there's no way it would survive this is this book is heavy i could throw it there and explode this sucker there is no chance in the world that i would ever be. I walked out. I was not afraid of that scorpion. I could kill it. No problem. If there was a small spider, I could kill it.

No problem. That's insane. If it's a full-size tarantula, I am deceased, and our for sale sign goes up immediately. So that's what I'm saying. It's all a matter of time. You're on Amazon saying, I need a new works of Shakespeare book because this one will never... How are you that afraid of a tarantula? Like, to me, a scorpion... They're docile.

A tarantula's docile. And a tarantula can bite. I mean, I'm not going to ignore that. I don't think a tarantula can actually really harm you. I'm going to contend with that fact. I'll put an argument here. I don't know a tarantula can actually really harm you. I'm going to contend with that fact. I'll put an argument here. I don't know if that's true. But a scorpion is armed with multiple weapons.

A scorpion is built to fight things. It is a warrior. It's got claws on the front. It's got a weapon in the back. It's got venom running through its body. Scorpions are terrifying. Here's the deal. It's got a weapon in the back. It's got venom running through its body. Scorpions are terrifying. Here's the deal. It's been proven. I've seen the studies.

They are from other planets. They are not from this planet. I have. Yeah, you've seen the studies. Genetically, they are from another planet. They don't make sense. This isn't a physical battle. This isn't whether or not I can physically... It's't whether or not it's a mental battle

you're a weak spider man large spiders large spiders can murder my soul quicker than anything have you ever seen a wild tarantula in Arizona we live in Arizona

I've never seen a wild I've seen one. My mother caught one at her property. She lived a little bit up north. And thankfully, she thought, oh, I'll just keep this in a Tupperware for when Jason comes over. And she did. And she did.

And so, yeah, that's my one and only experience. I will say this. It does get in your head. We recently went up to a cabin up north that does not have the best weatherproofing for bugs. There were spiders, old dead spiders that you could see on the walls, some live spiders. It gets into your head because when I close my eyes to sleep every night, I see spiders casting webs. So what happened was I tried to fall asleep with that mental picture a small and i mean probably one centimeter moth landed on my face in the

middle of the night while i was falling asleep one i slapped my own face as hard as a person can slap something. Two, I then projected this creature onto my wife who was sleeping next to me. She was mad at the slap sound that woke her up and then did not turn the light on. Didn't care. She said, what's wrong? I said, oh, it's a moth. She goes, uh, going back to sleep.

Then I said, I threw it onto you. Then the light came on and we found the moth but it is a mental game because look if i fall asleep that thing can crawl on my face without me knowing a moth not a moth a spider a spider okay that's the hidden spider that you think is not in the room if you fall asleep you are not on high alert. It can climb up your nose. It can do it if it wants to. It's a fair argument, but I see the spider as... Moths are far more...

You can't predict what a moth is going to do like a spider. No. And the spider, his goal is to eat the moth so to eat your soul let me let me close it out we'll go to the draft but i'm gonna ask mike the question i'm gonna just theoretically all right you're in a bedroom there's a black widow it scurries off are you not sleeping until you find it a black widow yeah correct i will find yes you're like that room is never spider free in your mind what until that black widow is found yes well if you're talking about a black widow you're talking about i know for sure it's a brown uh what are they

brown recluse brown recluse yeah is that yeah if i know for sure it's those two then yes i'm what if you go in your room and there's a grizzly bear and it scurries off and you don't know where If I know for sure it's those two, then yes, I'm not sleeping in it. What if you go in your room and there's a grizzly bear, and it scurries off and you don't know where it went? How long until it's grizzly bear sleep? You know how cuddly those things look compared to a brown recluse? Okay, let's draft. Let's draft.

All right. The Spitballers draft all right we are drafting the perfect sack lunch now i don't know where this is going to go i know everyone has to draft an entree everyone has to draft a beverage and then we're going to give you two wild cards for this sack lunch i know the places i'm going the places i'm going are are to my childhood and to my grade school days. You may not go there. You may just be trying to craft it for your own purposes. I don't know.

But Jason gets to pick first. Look, I'm not in a grade school cafeteria on YouTube for no reason. I'm going to grade school, and I'm going to pack the lunch I wanted to have packed. And I get the first pick. And look, this is a terrible draft to have the first pick. Because when I think about building my perfect sack lunch, I am almost willing to bet that the four items I want for my entree, drink, wild card, and wild card

are going to be there for me at pick one, two, three, and four. Oh, I thought you were going to be on the classic Jason train tracks of the first four picks that I want are going to be the first four picks that everybody takes because I'm Jason Moore. It's the exact opposite. So I'm going to start with one that I don't think either of you two are going to be too disappointed it's gone, but it's the staple. It's the classic.

And if I'm getting a sack lunch and going to grade school, I want me a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white. It feels like the right pick. No healthy bread here. It does feel like it's the pick I would have gone with at pick two. Fantastic. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich, check. Not relevant for your actual pick. You get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and that can be any jelly and any peanut butter and so sandwich. Check. Not relevant for your actual pick. You get a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and that can be any jelly and any peanut butter

in someone's mind. Just curious, though. If you were to build it, smooth or chunky, and then what kind of creamy strawberry? Creamy strawberry. But don't hear what I'm not saying, okay? Because if you want to give me a grape chunky, that's fantastic. I mean, I don't really care. I'm just saying the best is creamy strawberry.

All right. All right. Well, that makes sense. I also know that it's an entree, so that one's off the board for you. Not that you couldn't draft other entrees in your wild cards, but that means I'm going to go with the other staple that I think I've got to have. And I'm going to go with chocolate milk. Okay.

Okay. I'm going to go with beverage. I think chocolate milk is just, you know. We grew up in different places. You were a white milk man? I was not allowed to get the chocolate milk. You were not allowed to get the, which is why I'm packing it. I wasn't allowed every time.

To my children listening at home, you are also not allowed to get the chocolate milk. What about on a casual Friday, Mike? You don't pack them a little like a treatsy? Look, I'm not a dictator. Every once in a while, fine, we'll get the chocolate milk. But I'm just saying. Wait, you're not giving them skim milk, are you? Oh, what?

Snot? No. No, you're not giving them skim milk, are you? Oh, what, snot? No. No, my children don't, they don't drink snot. Here's the problem with chocolate milk, because I had thought about like what, I thought about what's my perfect lunch. The first thing that comes to mind for me for my drink was a chocolate milk. So, obviously I'm not saying it's perfect. Interesting. But then

I was like, I'm not bringing milk in my like, wait till lunch hour. I thought about it too. I know you got an ice pack in there, but like, you'm not bringing milk in my wake to lunch hour. I know you got an ice pack in there. You might have an ice pack. I don't want my dairy getting all warm and a nice warm chocolate milk. Milk was a bad choice. When we were kids, we went to lunch at like 10 in the morning.

Half the grades went at like 10 in the morning. I'm fine. I'm packing that thing for two hours. I'm not worried about temperature control here. Can I just say, I miss 10 a.m. lunches. I mean, if we can bring that back into our adult lives, lunch starts at 10 a.m. Real talk, if you ate lunch at 10 a.m., 12.45 is lunch. How many dinners do you have?

How many meals in a day? Are you a Cinco? Are you going five? That would be five meals a day, yes. What you would have is you'd have breakfast, early lunch, late lunch, early dinner, late dinner. Supper, dinner. I'm pretty much a hobbit.

I mean, you know, first lunch, second lunch. Wait, hobbits have first lunch? They have many meals, yes. I remember that from the movies, yeah. All right, Mike, you get two picks, which is a nice place to be. Yeah, it's tough. It's tough. So,

I got the back-to-back picks. So, let's see. And I'm going to play the draft. Let's see. So, one entree, one beverage off the board. I feel like I have at least two beverages that I'm very happy to take i might have second beverage though that's true oh that's dastardly i know that's what the wild cards do

you thirsty little fella yes yes all right well since we have we have to fill the draft, I'm going to start with a wild card, and I will take what I consider to be the best object in a sack lunch. I will take the Oreo cookie. It is the best of the snack desserts to me. Real quick, I have been held to what I say. I have been held to what I say, real quick we have to we've i have been you don't get double stuff i have i've been held to what i say and so we have to hold mike to what he said he did say cookie the oreo cookie he gets one oreo cookie he drafted the oreo cookie i would love to stick with that but i guess that's the most ridiculous argument he gets a sleeve he gets we have heard

yes i get the lunch and because i'm talking gets a sleeve he gets yes I get the lunch because I'm talking about lunches I'm talking clearly about the lunch pack of Oreos Oreos sleeves are so great because it was more Oreos in that sleeve than I would get if I was given Oreos from a package yeah you would get two from my parents I'd get two or four

don't those have like six in that sleeve you better draft milk right now or you're gonna make a mistake I'm just throwing that out there. Unnecessary. Unnecessary? Yeah. To have no milk with Oreos? What world are you living in?

Are you going to have Oreos and water? This is milk pressure. A world where I eat Oreos and I don't have to drink milk. You live in a weird, strange world. It's a great world. It's awful. All are welcome in this world. You took Oreos.

Well, look, you're not going to pretend that they're better without milk, right? Oh, I won't pretend that. But it's not a necessity. He loves Cinnamon Toast Crunch without a bowl of cereal. I cannot remember the last time,

genuinely, that I have eaten Oreos and not had milk with it in some capacity. It's impossible. It's fair. It's fair. Alright, now do I go with another

wild card? Oh man, see this is what's great about defining the draft is I am so torn on my picks, not because not just because I'm afraid you're going to take my picks, but I got to play these positions here. Can we change the title of the draft since we're all in the same place?

The perfect childhood sack lunch. Can we make it that? I mean, that's fair. That's what we're drafting. But let me ask you this. You're an adult. When's the last time you had a sack lunch? Right.

I mean, that's kind of implied exactly when i went on my kids field trip that's when i had a sack lunch and it was full of oreos i want i'm wanting the the voters out there to just associate with that nostalgia automatically school sack lunch yeah that works all right so you got one more mike so i got oreos we're just loading up on the junk food over here give me the doritos baby all right let's go let's go that's great that's great this is making me hungry and miss being a kid team unhealthy give me the doritos and the oreos i'll figure everything else out later all right so you jason you took an entree with the PB&J sandwich. And I know what I'm going to try to take here.

I would like to draft a second peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's a wild card. Isn't it my pick? Oh, no. It is Andy's pick. Although you can't draft that because I already drafted it. That's, who, thank goodness. Here's a man who's so excited about peanut butter and jelly that he will skip the draft order.

I was so excited when Mike finished his. I couldn't wait to draft my second peanut butter and jelly. Because you were worried Mike was going to try. No, nobody can draft him. It's bad strategy. If I can have it, I should draft it with my last pick because I already have it so you guys can't draft it. But's bad strategy. Like, if I can have it, I should draft it with my last pick because I already have it, so you guys can't draft it.

But I just want it so bad. So I feel like you're drafting a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and then you're like, well, my second pick, I will take an uncrustable peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It's very different. This one's in a package. I'm going to go ahead and pick, though, Jay. Do you mind? Okay.

No, you're on the clock. That's fair. I'm going to select ahead and pick though, Jay. Do you mind? Okay. You're on the clock. That's fair. I'm going to select Gushers. I'm taking Gushers. That's an excellent pick. Gushers was at the top of the fruit snack mountain. It lived in a pristine, amazing

place. It's an excellent pick. It had the technology ability to take a fruit snack and give me the Gusher power. Gushers are one of my absolute favorites it's hard to bad mouth them but there are two ways that you can bad mouth gushers so i will proceed way number for me but i'll find a way way number one when you volume when you open a gushers that is that is usually two seconds before you are out of gushers yeah i mean how did they legally get

away with putting like four gushers are big that's how they put they're big but there's not a lot in there there's not a lot in there's it's the smallest little package yeah and the second is that sometimes they all just melt together and you end up with like one big cluster that's an arizona gusher problem specific to arizona yeah but i'm taking gushers because they were an old favorite and I never got them. It's an excellent pick. I just never got them. Alright, so I'm on the clock and now I have to ask,

am I allowed to draft a second peanut butter and jelly sandwich? And you guys are shaking your heads. This is only Al Borland. I will allow it. Go for it. Alright. I got a second peanut butter and jelly sandwich for me. I don't want to open this lunch up and have it disappear in two seconds like Andy and

his gushers. I'm having... You know what happens when you finish your peanut butter and jelly sandwich? You're sad that you don't have any more peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Well, not this guy. I didn't get this body for no reason. Andy, we're learning a lot. We're learning so much.

The two sandwich problems started at childhood. Yeah. Well, look. You have had two picks so far. I'll say my pick. They're both peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You have another pick. Do you want a third?

I do not have another pick here. Oh, wait. I do. I am on that. I won't argue. Okay. All right. Great.

If this is not those peanut butter crackers that we all had as kids the ritz peanut butter crackers i don't know if no i am going so my my side is the most important thing to me but i'm very confident that you guys aren't going to draft the specific one that i want so i'm going to go with a sunny d because i don't have to worry about how refrigerated it is. It was one of my two. I don't want soda. I don't want the purple stuff.

Yeah, look, Sunny D is like a classic. You don't want OJ. No. That needs to be refrigerated. I can get Sunny D and leave it out forever. I mean, that's the fakest thing ever. That's like the Yoohoo, right? Like if I had gone Yoohoo. Exactly. Yoohoo, you don't need to thing ever. That's like the Yoo-Hoo, right? Like if I had gone Yoo-Hoo. Exactly. Yoo-Hoo. You don't need to refrigerate that. Send that with all your children.

Chocolate water. So I got orange juice water in Sunny Delight and two peanut butter jelly sandwiches. You do have two. I'm thrilled. I am thrilled. Alright. For my third pick, because Mike doesn't have an entree

yet. I have two. I have two. You have two. I need to grab it before my next pick. So I'm going to go with the thing that, again, I rarely got. I was jealous of kids who had them. I thought they tasted delicious. And I'm going with a Lunchable.

I'm getting the Lunchable in my sack lunch. All right. That's huge. People love Lunchables. I thought about it. I wasn't sure if it would be allowed. going with like a lunchable i'm getting the lunchable in my sack all right that's a huge people i thought i thought about it i wasn't sure if it would be allowed i think it's allowed i i well but here's the thing about a sack lunch is the lunchable like the lunchable is the cheat code for parents because like okay pack lunch for you kid and you go you go lunchable and that's done you don't have another anything you You don't put that in a- Oh, you definitely do.

No, you don't. It comes with a dessert. No, you look at someone who got a lunchable. Oh, so you're thinking it because it's too exhaustive as a lunchable? I don't- Yeah, because it has main course, dessert, and side. If Al wants me to pick something else, I've got more things to pick, but- I give my kids a lunchable all the time for school.

I feel like a lunchable- And that's all they get they had some lunchables that were just the all right meat cheese and uh cracker what's funny is the first thing i thought of with this draft was a lunchable and i had disqualified it in my head because of the same reason and he goes boom yeah i got it oh that's a boom back on lunchable is crackers meat and cheese then why don't you just rest in the fourth slot there's not always a fourth slot there's always a fourth there's always a fourth slot i don't get lunchables no but you can draft crackers meat and cheese you can yeah meat and crackers i feel uh like a travesty is taking place

oh yes the the honest truth is if you if you you thought lunchables were okay and i thought lunchables were okay you think they were making it past the turn there's no they were not in other words it's off the table then is that what al has declared that sounds like what our final verdict i have googled i just googled lunchables everything that comes down to lunchables they do not have a dessert turkey and check no i'm taking lunchables that's all they have is yes they have the meat cheese and crackers that's all it is turkey and cheddar okay that's fine you but you that's fine. You get one of those. You get one of those Lunchables.

I don't know. Every one I got has like an Oreo. Did you type the word Lunchable in? Because that's what's coming up. All I typed was Lunchable. You have two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. You don't get a vote on nothing. I'm taking a Lunchable, Mike.

You're on the clock. All right. So I've taken a Lunchable, Mike. You're on the clock. Alright, so I've taken my two miscellaneous. That means I have to go Entree and Beverage, which is excellent because I know exactly what I will take, and I know I'm

Jason shakes his head because he knows exactly what I'm going to draft. I don't. It shouldn't even be allowed. Go on. What? Well, we'll see. We'll see.

We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. Okay. Well, number one, I am in the minority of this battle. I understand that. I accept it. But sometimes you're still on the right side.

And I will take peanut butter and honey, which is by far. It is not even close. It is the superior sandwich to peanut butter and jelly. You guys know how many PB and H I have had since quarantine hit? I knew that's what you're going to draft. I need more hands. I need more hands. I can't count them.

I know how many peanut butter and honeys you've had. It's off the charts. That is so close to a peanut butter and jelly. Peanut butter and sweet sauce. It's close, but it is not. Well, then let me just recommend that you... Oh, you already took your wild cards. I was going to say you should add a second peanut butter and honey because they are good.

That would have been a great pick. I didn't even think of that. Jason went from should be disqualified to take two very quickly. I've had a lot as well recently because of you. The PBH? Yeah, I opened that door. It's delicious. It's a great sandwich.

It's a great sandwich. It's very, very similar. For you to say how superior it is is strange because it is so similar in taste to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. They're both great. I think because you feel like you're in the minority on the honey, you need to vilify the jelly, and you don't need to do that. They can coexist.

You are 100% correct that I feel like I have to. I got to throw up the X. I am in defensive mode. Yes, you are. I got to put you guys in guard and let you know that Peter Burr Honey is fantastic. And what childhood snack or not snack. I'm sorry. Lunch would be incomplete without the Capri Sun, my friends.

The Capri Sun. A little bit of flavored water. It doesn't matter what it is because it is the king. It is the queen. It is the ruler of all childhood drinks. Sunny D is great. I think I had more like the juice boxes. That's fine.

But anyone with a juice box. But anybody who is cool had a Capri Sun. If you had a juice box, you look over and go, Want to trade? They got a Capri Sun. I'll give you my sandwich. I got two. I'll give you my extra sandwich and my juice box for that Capri Sun.

You ain't getting my extra sandwich. I'll tell you that right now. And then you go mano y mano trying to get that straw in there until you give up and turn it upside down and just jab it through the bottom. Oh, is that a life hack? That's what I had to do because anytime I would try and go through. Well, then you just hold it.

Hold on. You're putting yours down? Yes, I'm putting mine down. You put your Capri Sun down? Yes. I mean, I'm not just. I know it's a small pouch. Have you seen Mike eat a meal?

He does it very quickly. I'm surprised he doesn't just bring scissors, cut off the top, and drink it. Wait, is that the catalyst to why you eat and drink so fast? Is you could never put stuff down? Because you don't know how to open it? It's possible. Look, anytime as a child, I had to go...

I was trying to go through the straw hole for Capri Sun. That meant that I have just run the Capri Sun through and the straw is now pointing out the back of it. All right. I will finish my... Oh, stop. Stop. I see Al Borland. He changed my Lunchable to Dessertless Lunchable.

That's what we determined. It's a Lunchable. That's what we determined. It doesn't come with a drink. So all you people who say you just put the lunchable in the bag did you get a drink with it uh there there are lunchables there's a bag for them for a reason i'm looking at one with who it's got a minion on it and it comes with a capri sun that's the ones when we get the ones for our kids they do include a drink like i said it's the cheat code for being a parent if you have to pack a lunch, you're like, screw this crap.

Here's the Lunchable. What's crazy is the Lunchables my kids get are never the meat and cheese and crackers. It's always like a pizza, which is so disgusting. The pizza ones. Yeah, they want to build their own pizza, and it's not cooked, obviously. They just put the pizza sauce and the pepperonis or whatever, and they love that. Or they like the sub sandwiches. pizza sauce and the pepperonis or whatever and they loved that or they liked

the sub sandwiches. Look, I considered cold pizza for my entree. You never had the day old cold pizza? That was a special day actually when I got to bring that. Yeah. I'm going to close it out with the... This is just

a jealousy draft. I clearly did not grow up with any of the things I wanted to eat in my sandwich or in my sack lunch. I've got the Gushers I never got. I got the Lunchable I never got. I clearly did not grow up with any of the things I wanted to eat in my sandwich or in my sack lunch. I've got the Gushers I never got. I got the Lunchable I never got. I'm going to close it out with what I thought was straight up delicious. I'm taking Dunkaroos.

Do you remember Dunkaroos? Yeah, of course. Oh, Jason doesn't remember Dunkaroos? It sounds like little donuts. It's like a chocolate stick and it's frosting or something? No, they're little cookies that you dipped in frosting. That you scooped and frosted. They were outstanding.

So I'm taking dunkaroos to close it out. I vaguely remember. I don't think I ever had dunkaroos. I do not remember those. Clearly dunkaroos went flying through our school. It was a passing trend. I feel like we went to the same school, though. Listen, Jason. If you tried them, you would eat the whole package.

Of course I would. I mean, that's kind of what I do. All right, you get to close this out. I am realizing a giant mistake. I feel like I'm- Is it the second sandwich? I feel like I'm a dessert short on my options here because I took that second sandwich. Because all that jelly's not enough.

The Sunny D's not enough sugar. So I move that we have one more round uh because there's two things i really want now i'm gonna take the one that is true to my heart now versus as a child because children love them all the same but zebra cakes little debbie zebra cakes are so stinky good and what i would okay what i want to have as well as the nutty bars nutty bars were like gold at my school i mean you i remember the nutty bar phase yes you could nutty bars and honey buns oh yeah oh honey honey buns you are honey buns bro star crunch star oh man oh yeah all right i remember i've got to go track down a 1990s cafeteria real quick

you let me know when the honey buns are just out of curiosity as we're saying all these things how much cancer did we eat? a lot did we eat a lot of cancer? not compared to how much diabetes you ate that's true

we certainly ate more diabetes. Before the show, we decided that we were going to do entree, drink, wild card, wild card. Versus just open. Four item, sack lunch, you build your own lunch. Because Jason would have taken four desserts. That's 100% right. My lunch, and this is what I did in high school, and I think this says a lot, is I would have drafted a zebra cake, a Nutty Bar, a Star Crunch, and a Ding Dong or something.

A Twinkie. You would have drafted a snack bar. Yes. Yes. And that's what I would usually do. I'd trade my food for money, and I would go to the snack bar and buy all treats. And now look where it's gotten me. Diabetes.

Diabetes. All treats. And now look where it's gotten me. Diabetes. All right. So your final draft is peanut butter and jelly, peanut butter and jelly, Sunny D and zebra cakes.

I have chocolate milk, a Gushers, a Lunchable, and some Dunkaroos, Oreos, Doritos, peanut butter and honey sandwich, and a Capri Sun for Mike.

Sounds about right. Yeah. I think you guys are just mad about the Lunchable because here's the thing. It's a sack lunch. You can put it in a sack. There ain't nothing wrong with that. I didn't even go with the put it in the sack lunch argument. I completely agree. I just believe that if I had Lunchables for my kids, that's what

they got. They got a Lunchable and maybe I would throw a drink in there. It's just the difference between a 1990s Lunchable and a modern-day Lunchable. Like, the current Lunchables are gigantic. That's why we said grade school sack lunch. I mean, we're going back in time anyway. Yeah, dessert lunchable. Here were some things that I thought of that we didn't draft.

You remember cheese balls? Oh, yeah. Those are really. Oh, like the Planters one? Yeah, just the planters cheese balls where yeah those are pretty good those are great uh thought about any of the yogurts or gogurts or like the tricks yogurts that you'd get as a kid the problem with with a the tube of yogurt is that thing is gone in approximately two seconds you can literally just go yeah you just go

it makes that sound when you eat it, too. Yeah, the little slide. Do you remember Handy Snacks and how horrible those things were? I don't. Oh, yeah. No, you do. The four little crackers and then the thing of cheese and you get a little plastic thing to spread the cheese on it. There's no way you don't know what Handy Snacks are, Mike.

I'm sure I do. It's just that the name is not bringing it to memory. I'm sure I do. It's just that the name is not bringing it to memory. But do you guys remember at all after the Lunchables hit, then the Big Tuna decided they were getting into that game as well, and they would make like these tuna fish Lunchables? Big Tuna.

Gross. Big Tuna got into it. Did you guys have anything else you wanted to surface before we ask what we learned today? No, I'm good. I'm starving. What did we learn today? I learned that I didn't get as many things that I really wanted as a kid. I wasn't the snack bar kid either.

My parents never gave me any money for the snack bar. I was jealous of all the kids in the snack bar. Yeah, I would bring my own at some point. I'd just scrounge around the house, find extra quarters, and those things became gold at school. They became Star Crunches? The wrapper pizzas? Yeah.

I learned that all of the extra hardware when I'm finished building something, those are known as insurance screws. That's right. In case things go wrong. No doubt about it. Yes, and I learned the ultimate mic drop in a conversation is per the studies. I mean, it's like that is. Well, have you seen them, Mike?

Yeah, have you seen the studies? Yeah, have you seen them? All right, that does it for us. Thank you for tuning in. It's so obnoxious and insulting at the exact same time. It's incredible. It's perfect. It's a spectacular answer. You cannot come back from that. Thank you for tuning in, Spitballs.

We will see you next week. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to check out spitballerspod.com oh that was a good that was a good episode am i right guys the best gals i know what you're thinking you want to help support this show you're like how can i become an official spitwad be part of this special community it's easy you just go to spitballerspod.com click become a spitwad and boom you are part of active connected of and boom

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