Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 121: Don’t Do Murder & Our Biggest Fears

Episode Date: October 26, 2020

Kids: Don’t do murder! We don’t even have a ‘Life Advice’ segment on the show today, but here we are, handing out some solid bonus counsel. We also talk about killer clowns, seedless watermelons, and Jason’s first kiss. We button up the show with a draft of our scariest fears & phobias! Don’t miss it! Subscribe and tell your friends about another hilarious episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the show: Become an Official Spitwad! Visit us on the Web Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Instagram Subscribe on YouTube Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/spitballers/posts See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

All right, I know you expected the show to start already. It's going to start momentarily. There will be a spectacular scat that is coming your way. I thought DMX was here the way you came in. But listen, before the show starts, I just wanted to say, head over to spitballerspod.com, click the Become a Spitwad button. That's how you become a supporter of the show. That's how you get access to the show early.

That's how you check out the spit tank where you can submit questions, would-you-rather questions, great questions, whatever, draft ideas. We turn to the Spitwads first. Head over to SpitballersPod.com, click the Become a Spitwad button, and now we can start the show. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve?

It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. spiders they're everywhere you just no no no I'm cool with it it is cool with it it is cool it's fine we often will try and work in

it's not creative a little foreshadowing of today's draft into the scat and he's just like scat's draft into the scat. And he's just like, scat's done. By the way, spiders. Yeah, that's true.

No, I'm not cool with it anymore. Welcome into the Spitballers podcast. Mike Wright, Jason Mori, Andy Holloway. Episode 121. We do have a scary draft for you. You cut that off a little. I let you have some room. Thank you. You cut that off a little. I let you have some room. Thank you.

We got Would You Rather, the Situation Room. Al Borland is here. Al, how are you doing today? Doing great. What's up, Speedwads? I have a little bit of a... What is a fear of owls? I'm sure we could find it. Can we figure that one out?

Yeah. It has to exist. I've got a little bit of a fear of owls? I'm sure we could find it. Can we figure that one out? Yeah. Yeah. It has to exist. I've got a little bit of a fear of owl. Of owl or owls? Strigaphormophobia. Whoa. There you go.

Strigaphormophobia. I'm afraid of trying to pronounce that word. That's terrifying. At Spitballers Pod. Have I ever told you my owl story? This is real? We have an owl story? You have a real owl story?

I mean, it's just short and sweet. Okay. But I was a younger fella. So this happened in the past. Got it. Yes. And I'm at home. My backyard wall, and then it's street.

So you could see streetlights just right outside my backyard wall, and then it's street. So you could see streetlights just right outside my backyard. And so it's dark. The lights are on. And I look up, and all I can see is a shadowy figure on top of the light pole. And we're in Arizona. We're in suburban parts of Arizona. And it's a steel light post. And I'm looking up going, how did a cat get on top of this light post?

Because I had never even entertained the thought that I would see a wild owl in Arizona where we live. And so I just keep checking on this cat because it's not moving. I'm like, oh, man, this cat is stuck. This cat is stuck on a light post. It's very high up. It was metal. I don't know how it climbed up in the first place. And then eventually the cat flew away.

That's a cat. And the wings were gigantic. And it was. Holy crap. That was an owl. You know, when you started the story and you said, you know, I was in my backyard and there's a fence. I was thinking to myself, like, there might be people around the country, around the globe

that, you know, they see owls. I'm sure people see owls all the time. They have nature and trees and we're in the desert right there's i've never seen an owl in the wild in my life that's why it was so confusing to me because owls don't live around here that i at least i thought so it turns out it was a it was a flying cat though yep huge wingspan okay right. Let's kick this thing off. Would you rather? Noah from the website has a would you rather question for us.

He said, would you rather your kids grow up to be way smarter than you? Impossible. Or way better looking and physically, athletically superior to you. Okay. Interesting. I think I know what happens when you get older. I don't think we have to be passed by our kids. Generally, you imagine your kids grow up. They become smarter than you.

You become dumber. Yep. I believe it is a choice and that 100 of people end up choosing choosing dumber to be dumber okay because the older you get it's not that you're not capable of learning it's that you no longer want to that's fair i find myself like when we're all tech heads, right? Or at least fluent, right? We are not like our parents' generation or grandparents that we had to go to their house to teach them how to use the VCR and things like that. I always thought when I grew up, I would then be at the same level as my kids because I'll be just as interested in tech.

Right. A hundred percent. I now have an almost 12-year-old. I got no interest in learning new stuff anymore. He knows more than me already, and I'm done learning. Yeah, I took... Sorry, Jay, but maybe you're done learning because you know you have someone who just will do it.

That is also a factor, yes. That helps a lot. Yeah, really, you're speaking truth here because it's exactly right. It's not that we can't learn. We don't give a lot. Yeah, really, you're speaking truth here because it's exactly right. It's not that we can't learn. We don't give a crap. I don't care. I don't have the same interest.

I don't have to go to school anymore. I can totally get that where my learning of tech, it fell off. I mean, we can keep up. I can hang. But, I mean, I was back when I was younger. I'm teaching myself computers on a Windows machine. Somehow I had to learn how to, like, reroute memory so that I could run a DOS game. Yeah.

And, look, there's kids out there listening to that statement saying, I have no idea what that means. But, like, this was something that I just figured out how to do it by looking things up on the internet. And now I don't want to look those things up anymore. However, my thirst for history is now off of the charts. Really? Oh, man.

History is the most fascinating thing. Really? Oh, man. History is the most fascinating thing. Actually going to a place where a historical event occurred, my parents, they would drag us. Every summer, we would get dragged somewhere. And there was one trip we went up and down the entire East Coast.

This is where I told the story about how my dad. Yeah, he got a little lost. He missed Pennsylvania. He missed the entire east coast this is where i told the story about how my dad yeah he got a little lost he missed pennsylvania yeah the entire state but we went up and down looking at it was a you know seeing america that's where kind of the birthplace of the nation like all the uh we went down to williams virginia and stuff yeah and i i didn't give i didn't give two craps about what we were doing and now i'm thinking man you could, you could go to Gettysburg. And this is where that battle happened. It actually took place here. Based on your mannerisms, I believe you, that you're really into this.

You are hyped over Gettysburg. Oh, man. It's wild. I know the answer to this. As a parent, one of these validates me as a parent if my kid does not grow up to be smarter than me I feel like I failed

if he doesn't grow up to be physically, athletically superior than me whatever that's how I feel, so I would rather them grow up and be smarter also I want them to be smarter because I need to be just one inch taller than my boys just one yeah, than my boys. Just one. Yeah, but that's because you're tall.

I got one inch too short. I was close to getting to six foot, but I didn't make it. I want that for my kids. Six foot club. Exactly. I want them to outgrow me. It's a great club. I want it in the club, but I'm never going to get there.

Hey, Mike, how do you like that top shelf whoa oh it's so easy to reach there's a lot of cool stuff up there there's cool step ladders though like i got one that folds up real small as light you guys probably don't need those do you use that for like in your mirror though so you feel better about yourself like you reach the sink i actually i actually just move all my mirrors down a lot so when you come over you can't even see yourself right right no that's nice uh yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna louis armstrong this thing i'm gonna hear babies cry i'll watch them grow okay they'll learn much more than i'll ever know taking the intelligence route to be smarter because i already know they're gonna be

better looking like that's that's done deal. Now I get both. Yeah, fair enough. Robbie from Patreon, would you rather be the only genius in a world full of idiots or the only idiot in a world full of geniuses? I mean, that's brutal. Okay. Ignorance is bliss, right? That's what they say. At first, I was like the this is maybe the easiest

slash dumbest question we've ever got because okay why would you want to be the only dumb person you do you want to be dumb or smart that's what the question is saying but if you really think through this if you're smart and the whole world are idiots there There's no Tesla to drive. There's no cool new EV cars. That's true. There's no cool new technology coming. Everybody's stupid. The world around you is screeching to a halt or never even got to the cool.

We're talking all this tech stuff. Now everything's stupid. No innovation because everyone around you is an idiot. The whole world is dumb. I'm just picturing idiocracy. I don't know if you're familiar with them. You've never seen idiocracy? I have seen bits and pieces, but I never saw the whole thing.

But he goes to the future, and he's just of average intelligence. Then he becomes, but he's now the smartest person. And him trying to- Because everybody else is stupid? Yeah. And him trying to explain basic things. Nope. Sounds like a movie.

It's a delight. But there's no way I could i would not be able to handle that if all of a sudden i'm the smart i'm the smartest person i can't handle that pressure i don't want to i don't want to explain everything to everybody yeah if you're being then the rage if the rage you would feel like because nobody understands no one understands things yeah and does it feel special to be praised by a just a plethora of idiots that think you're smart does that really mean anything no i want smart people to think i'm smart yeah and you know you know how like some smart people they are snooty they look down on you right they're they're smarter than you they are better than you but if the whole world is full of geniuses, you know what I mean? They're not better than anyone else.

Everyone's just great. So then you're different. Would you get sympathy? Would you get empathy as being the idiot? Oh, if you're the idiot? Yeah. Well, look. Look at history, Mike.

We look back at history. People that were different in history, we didn't understand them. We certainly thought they might have special powers or you needed to do different things to get rid of their problems. I don't think the geniuses would burn me as a witch, though. I think that they would see right through it. I think they'd take care of me. They might think something's wrong with you, and they want all geniuses. They'll take care of you.

Now, could they use their smart power to make me smarter with all their technology? That's a good question. I see an advanced civilization here with a world full of geniuses. I like how being a genius equates to having great technology and power. Yeah. So are there no geniuses right now? No. Oh, Elon Musk is very smart.

He is, but he hasn't made me like rocket shoes yet. Right. Which is the base level of genius. Flying cars, schmars. Where's my rocket shoes? Where's my hoverboard? Like a real one. Yeah.

Hoverboard should be doable. You promised me that a long time ago. Hoverboards should be doable. I mean, they really like. Yeah, but not for $150,000 in a team of 47 engineers. Give promised me that a long time ago. Hoverboards should be doable. I mean, they really like... Yeah, but not for $150,000 and a team of 47 engineers. Give me one I can buy at Walmart. That's why I thought we would be here. You can, but it actually has wheels on it.

Yeah, that's a big lie. How did that happen? We just call it... Who went? How did... Okay, we're talking about... Al Borland's probably sending us pictures of hoverboards. I know they make them.

I know they make hoverboards now with like. We're talking about a world that is just, you're the only smart person. Everyone else is an idiot. Do we live in that world that we accepted that hoverboards are these skate, these skateboards, but the wheels are on the side. It's not a,

there's no hovering that is going on. It is in fact a wheel board. What's funny is if you make a hoverboard, what's the real practicality of that? I mean, it's really not that practical. Is that the difference between a hoverboard and a skateboard is just you're off the ground a little bit? That's not that cool. What? Of course it's super cool.

I think I'm on Andy's side here. You don't think it's that cool? I mean, other than skating on the ocean or something. No, you can't. No, Back to the Future rules says you can't go on the water. Oh, I did die over the water. You need a power source. Didn't the pit bull get over the water?

Yeah, because I had a power source. Okay. Yeah. I am going to be an idiot in a world full of geniuses. You're darn right. And from the website, you're in a situation that requires you to clean up after a crime. Been there. Would you rather call your spouse to help you and risk having them get caught with you?

Okay, okay. Or do it all by yourself but never be able to tell them about it? Oh. Interesting. So do you, I mean, partners in crime here. Wow, this is. I don't think I'm so self-sacrificial that I would not include my wife on the risk. Now, is it the risk part that you want to share or is it the cleaning part?

It's the cleaning part. Yeah. But I'm not. I don't want to clean up this mess. I just feel like she'd be able to help me significantly. Think about things I haven't thought of. It's easy to get caught for murders these days. Am I right?

Oh, am I right, Al? Investigators are so good. For sure. I mean, this ain't the 90s. Yeah, kids, don't do murder. It's bad. You're going to get caught. I'm definitely.

Just say no. Just say no to murder. Just say no to murder. I have to bring in my wife here yeah because there's zero chance i can clean it up good enough like basically i'm saying do you want your wife to have a chance to go down for your guarantee that you are done right so i i want a chance for us to both live a life with each other from here and i'm not a great cleaner now let me ask this question if you're cleaning up a murder is like a couple things of newspaper just too late late on is that gonna handle it is that gonna throw them off the scent

back in the 90s it did but uh i think you have to you you have to go back a little while later and scoop up the newspapers and throw them we gotta yeah you gotta change them every once in a while this is not a letter animal something mike is treating taking care of a cat and cleaning up a murder identical in mike's mind it's not that different it's not that different um you're gonna need your wife you Mike. You're going to need some help. Yeah, it would be, I mean, if you pulled it off yourself, I don't feel like I would have a hard time moving on without sharing this secret. But I guess I haven't.

That one's just for me. Yeah. You would have a hard time? Oh, man, that would eat at me. Guess what I did for the rest. I can't tell you just knowing just holding on a secret guess guess guess what i did today can't tell you did you take the garbage out no no no no did you take the dog for a new haircut you're way off ask me if i did murder

ask ask i did i did i did murder oh that feels good to get off the chest ask me if i did murder your wife's response to you come on come on ask me just ask me if I did murder. Ask me. I did. I did murder. You need to clean it up. That's the bonus surprise. I need help cleaning. Oh, my gosh. Turns out murder's very messy. Yes, yes. Also, we're all going to jail.

Yes. Including our wives. And remember, kids, don't do murder. That's right. Don't do murder. Al, should we do one more of these or move on? Let's move on. All right. The Situation Room.

I feel like we were just in the Situation Room. We did some murder. We got to take care of it. We had a situation. Yes. All right. Felix from Patreon. The cat. Thank you for your support. Yeah.

Thank you for supporting the show. Fly away from the light post. Oh, okay. It was a flying cat joke. Yeah, not bad. Felix the owl. Oh. Now it's an owl joke.

I'm lost. After the smash success of seedless watermelons. Oh, they're great. It is time to take the next step. You're asked to come up with the perfect combination of shape, taste, texture for a fruit and a name to go with it. What creation do you present to the world? All right. Let's get them creative juices going.

Can I get an apple I don't have to chew as long? That's called apple juice. Done. All right. The problem with apples is you've got to chew them too much? The problem with all fruits and vegetables in general is that you have to chew them too long. I think that's a you problem, bro. You guys are just a few chews and a swallow?

I have never once eaten an apple and gone, man, I got to chew this too much. I mean, what kind of mush, mush apples are you eating? No, no. It's maybe like a carrot. I'm talking about the peel. The peel on an apple? Yeah. That's the problem?

Yeah. It's all. Okay. I don't know. Apples are delightful. You don't relate to that. No, I do not. If you eat a carrot, don't you have to chew it a little too much?

Yes, a carrot, sometimes you have to chew and chew and chew. You need that ranch to help break it up. But I think that's like the end of my list of difficult... With the seedless watermelon situation, if there were only seeded watermelons, would that have been at the top of the list? Taking the seeds out of watermelons? I don't know that it would have been it should have been and because it's magical the fact that they're they still sell watermelons with seeds is it's crying it's it's yeah it's a it's like when you buy the the like the like a seedless orange

there's a freaking you can do that? Oh, yeah, dude. Like cuties. There's no seeds in them. You know how once... Hashtag non-sponsored. I don't eat a lot of fruit. That's what I just learned. I don't know how it works.

How does fruit work? You know how once fluorescent and LED bulbs became popular, they literally outlawed the old busted type of bulbs? Seeded watermelons should be illegal. I agree with you. Who would want that? Who would choose it? Who would opt into seeds?

Yeah, I really liked those inconvenient chewing. If we get rid of them, though, banish them, does there come a point where you don't have any watermelon at all? Don't you need some type of seed? They have to plant something for the seedless watermelon. come a point where you don't have any watermelon at all don't you need some type of seed they have to plant something for the seedless watermelon but it's it's a genetic thing that they've done but they're not they're not just 3d printing it in the lab so do they have a watermelon one master watermelon one master watermelon the alpha melon we'll call them the clone

the alpha melon the alpha melon puts out seeds for all the seedless watermelons. Because all it is is seeds. You cannot let that. Just inside is just seeds. Okay, here's my first thought. Go ahead. My first thought is pineapples are delicious. Oh, yes.

But they are a nightmare. You put a banana peel on a pineapple. Oh, my goodness. Just peel a banana peel on a pineapple. Just peel it back and eat a pineapple. We've done it. That sounds pretty good. That's the problem with pineapples. Let me ask you this.

So we try to figure this out. Benign apple? What would you call it? Yeah, I'd call it a benign apple. Ben. Ben apple. What I was thinking of is what fruits do you eat the most often and how could you improve them? Because if you improve something you eat a lot,

I don't eat a lot of watermelon. Sure. I've got another one. But do you eat fruits a lot because of their convenience? Yes. Right? Because if certain fruits were more convenient, you might eat them more often.

If we could grow the strawberries without the whole green part and the butt, you know what I mean? You just pop them back. Yeah, like a grape. That's a real big inconvenience? Absolutely. Just a bite? Just taking a bite of it?

Because what do you do after the bite, Andy? You have to find a discard pile for the rind that you're not going to eat. If you've got grapes, you just pick them off, pop them in your mouth. I guess that's like eating peanuts shelled or unshelled. We need unshelled strawberries. Yeah, I want to just take a strawberry, pop it off a vine, pop it in my mouth. Can we get

an apple that doesn't have a core? Oh, that's good. I eat apples more than any other fruit. So is discarding the waste product, is that a big thing? Spitting the seeds? It's not the discard, it's good. Because I eat apples more than any other fruit. So is discarding the waste product, is that a big thing? Spitting the seeds? It's not the discard. It's a dangerous game when you're eating the apple and you start biting

and getting closer and closer to the core because you do not want to go. You can't Icarus and fly too close to the sun with it. If you get a bite of that core, it's disgusting, and the experience of eating the sun with it if you get a bite of that core it's disgusting and the experience of eating the apple is completely ruined yeah i think what we need is a brand called lazy fruit and lazy fruit is all done for you okay my oranges them peeled all right my apples them cored yeah my my, the butts are cut off. Basically, it's just ready to serve and eat.

We can have human labor do this for us. We don't even need science. I have something to tell you, Jason. You could go to the grocery store, and you can, in fact, buy a plastic bowl full of fruit that's ready to eat. Those things are $700. They are really expensive. Clearly, we're on to a good business opportunity if people are willing to pay 10x the price of fruit

just so it's ready to eat. I think the problem is that the people that they have currently who are slicing up these, these are all doctorate people. They are paying out the nose for this labor, and they need to find some really affordable just machine cut them just much just build a machine that can slice everything up and then package it stop i'm just really upset because every time i go and i see the fruit and veggie platters i want them and i'm i can do it. It's a matter of principle. I'm not paying $10 for a little tub

of sliced fruit. For you, that's saying something. Because I think the essence of American industry is the lazy fruit brand. You don't want to go to the store to get that fast food? We'll go to the fast food for you. We'll make it fast food squared and

bring it to you at the house. That's delicious. good yeah and you'll pay 10x for that i sure will maybe you need to start buying these 65 fruit platters if fruit was not as good for me and tasted better like fast food i would do it like if it's the exact same platter, but it was like fried chicken wing? What if it was just deep fried fruit? Ooh. Can you do that? Yeah, do they do that? I mean, you can deep fry everything.

I would imagine you can. Has anyone done that, though? Deep fry a pineapple. What's that like? Probably not very good. Oh, I don't know, man. If you had anything deep fried that was not very good? I don't know. Deep. If you had anything deep fried that was not very good. I don't know. Deep fried with the sweet taste?

Dude, a deep fried Oreo? Oreos are good, yeah. You're darn right they are. Deep fried Twinkie? Yeah, and you can grill pineapple, right? Yeah, people do that. So you might as well fry it up. Okay.

God, man. I think we're almost there. All right, Vish from Patreon. The killer clowns are back. All right. I didn't know that. And this time you're locked in an arcade instead of a carnival. Okay.

You must beat the clowns in any game in order to escape. What arcade game are you choosing? Oh, it's an arcade. What? Did we do this at a carnival and we had to choose one of the carnival games and then otherwise we were going to die? Exactly. Well, I wiped this from my memory because I didn't want to die.

What did we pick? I think you might have gone with, I know we talked about like the throwing the rings at the milk jugs. Did I do the basketball game? Because that one's, oh, I probably did the hanging bar. I would have done the darts at the balloons, but I do not remember this question at all. Wow. Well, I have a vague recollection.

The Killer Clowns are back. I mean, they've been gone a while. They've been out doing murder. They've been out doing a lot of the murder. And now they're back. Yep. Which arcade game are you choosing? I mean.

This is the easiest question of all time. Oh, I'm very. It's easy for me, but I have no idea what you guys think. Oh, it's easy for me because I'm with you, Mike. I'm stepping away. Oh, are you letting me play? And I'm letting you play,'s easy for me, but I, I know for me because I'm with you, Mike, I'm stepping away. Oh, are you letting me play? And I'm letting you play what?

Probably NFL blitz. I was going to go NBA jam. Sure. Yeah. Mike's pretty good at NBA jam. I was thinking of blitz NBA jam. Is there another, like I can't have air hockey. What's your confidence in air?

I don't know if I'm going to get killed by that clown or not. Air hockey has a little bit of randomness involved. Now, I don't have to play against the clown, though, right? Of course you do. 100%. Who are you playing? Oh, I have to beat the clowns in a game. I guess it could be a single player and you're going for a high score.

You're playing some asteroids. Does a clown have limited mobility in air hockey because of them big shoes? I don't think you move your feet a lot in air hockey. That's pretty much a stationary game. But I think I'm great at air hockey. I'm going to say that I'm the best. It stinks to lose at air hockey, and then if you know you're about to get killed by a clown right afterwards,

it's even worse. Because then you have the shame of you lost air hockey and then if you know you're about to get killed by a clown right afterwards it's even worse because then you have the shame of you lost air hockey and oh he probably mocks the heck out of you before he you know does the murder he may not even do the murder he may just let you live with the fact that you lost to the killer clown but what game would you lose and not feel ashamed of losing what game would be like well yeah but it's pinball you know probably one of those claw games where i gotta i do the claw game and i i have to get something out of there to survive there are people because i ain't living there are people that can do the claw games every time i used to be a friends with someone who would say this and for years impossible i'm like no that's you can't no that's impossible

you know i'm sure you've won before or you couldn't win if you put ten dollars in and try ten times you that dude won every time we ever went to any claw machine it didn't matter the content inside he was dialed in on that claw that was his superpower that was his superpower he's the manufacturer of the machines um i can't i don't think I've ever gotten some from the claw. I've landed some claw items. I'm decent. Decent at the claw. The only ones that I can get are the ones that are filled with the balls.

Oh, yeah. Those are easy. That one I win every single time. Those are layups. Yeah. The hard part of the claw machine is that you can't just pick which thing you want. Or a superpower, super claw player, could he say, which item do you want? And was Super Power Super Claw Player, could he say, which item do you want?

And you would point and he could get it. No, he just knew which one the claw machine would get. That's engineering breaking it down. Okay. You got to see how all the toys are stacked. You feel confident, Jason, facing a clown in the... I would do the hot shot basketball. That's my final answer. Ooh, the pop a shot? Yeah, if they have a pop a shot in the arcade uh, I would do the hot shot basketball. That was my final answer. Ooh,

the Papa shot. Yeah. If they have a Papa shot in the arcade, I think I can, I think he can take care of that. My bank shots. Pretty good. Yeah.

I think I would go air hockey if I have to go for myself, but I would prefer to, uh, ask for a champion and have Mike step in and fight for me. It's it. I will beat all, all comers on NBA, all clowns. I will take all comers on NBA. All clowns.

I will take all clowns on and defeat them. Wait, does this arcade place have a foosball table? Because I will smash them clowns. Probably not. It's a bad arcade. Ryan from Twitter, you lost the bet with your local wizard. That's a problem. Now you must let him take away one of your five senses.

But in turn, one of your five senses. But in turn, one of your remaining senses is now supercharged. Which sense do you sacrifice in? Which do you enhance? And obviously the five senses are what again? Sight. Sound. Sound.

Hearing. Taste. Did you just say sound and hearing? Did I say both? Sound and hearing. Sound, hearing, noises. They're all. Sound, hearing, noises, kerplunks.

No, what are they? I just named most of them. Sight, smell, taste, sound, touch. Touch. Clearly, that's the one Andy's getting rid of. I've always. This one is, I'm getting rid of smell I think that

that's the one that impacts me I need touch I need to be able to hear I need to be able to see although I mean we know that that smell is it's related to taste right I mean okay so I don't I don't know how much would I rather be able to you know taste something

I guess you're saying you could lose two I don't know how much. Would I rather be able to taste something? I guess you're saying you could lose two. Yes. Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. I wish I could figure it out. Maybe I'm willing to give away my taste. If I could have a super sniffer. A snooper sniffer, yeah.

No, a super sniffer I think would be an outstanding thing to have have jason you're backwards you're exactly wrong i am at 100 it has to be the smell that you give up because the other powers are superpower and you don't want smell to be a superpower mike there are i am positive look if you're going to change careers and be a police dog that sniffs things out maybe i'm gonna be and and all the power to you but i think you're gonna smell the bathroom far more than you're gonna smell good things you're gonna you know i remember my wife when she was pregnant she had an insanely heightened sense of smell like genuinely she could smell everything it didn't matter where good or bad she could smell everything and it was always a where, good or bad, she could smell everything, and it was always a problem for her because a good smell is like, okay, great.

That smells great. But when you get a really bad smell, it's so nasty. It can take you down for a day if you're just smelling rotten eggs somewhere. Now, but if you go super taste, aren't you tasting all of those smells? No. Aren't I tasting all of those smells? No. Aren't I tasting all the smells? Yeah, you don't never, when you smell something and you get like, oh, I can taste it. That's how strong I can, that's how strong the smell is right now.

Yeah, but you wouldn't be able to smell. Yeah, I lost the sense of smell. Then how are you, oh, okay. You can taste without smelling. Can you? Yes, but smelling adds to your taste. I think that's true. Okay, it's just...

So maybe you have to supercharge your taste if you lose the smelling. So you really didn't lose anything there on the taste. But also, how do you not take super sight? Right. Super sight would be incredible. That's what we all want, right? Yeah. Get some binoculars eyes.

There's no way you can lose touch or sight. Maybe hearing. Yeah. I got subtitles. Yeah, I guess that's true. Preston from the website, you are visited by someone claiming to be you from the future. How do you make them prove that they're really future you? The verification must take place publicly in front

of your co-hosts. Oh, wait. Future? Yeah, future you. How do you... Future you. So you are... You know something about you that only you know. Yeah, but you have to do it in front of someone

in front of everyone so you can't be like, hey, what's the worst? You remember when I did that murder? Yeah. Who was it? Who was it? Remember when I did that murder? Who was it?

How did we clean it up? Yeah. Well, we called our wife. I mean, you could have them show you a birthmark or something. But you could fake that. No, no no no no the point here is if you have a birthmark that people don't know about yeah you know what i mean obviously if you've got a just a birthmark on your face that someone would come in with that i would just say

that that would not prove it someone if someone it would prove it to me. If somebody is smart enough to dress up, look like they're you from the future, they could figure out what's going on with a birthmark. What's going to prove it better than that, though? I don't know. That's why we're being asked the question. Mike, you've never seen this mole. Okay, because it's unfakeable. It looks like South America.

This is easy. Jason, ask future Jason to show you the mole. Jason, show me the mole. Oh, we had it removed because it was cancerous. And where was it? It was... Oh, yeah. Nice answer.

Not. It was on your butt cheeks. Incorrect. That's great. You are not cheeks. Incorrect. That's great. You are not me. Incorrect. Would you try and rope a rope and go with like a lie? Oh, yeah, for sure.

You've got to hook them onto something that you think they're going to get wrong. But let's say we don't have a specific unspeakable mole or birthmark. Speak for yourself. But this is for the people. Someone might run into this problem or birthmark. Speak for yourself. But this is for the people. Someone might run into this problem in the future. It's possible, yeah. What is the type of question that anybody could ask the future self to make sure that only they would know?

I really don't know. Especially, you throw in the monkey wrench if you have to do it in front of people i mean does this person have knowledge of the future would they be able to tell you something i mean i could do it over time i could say hey what's going to happen to me that's significant in the next two weeks and if it happened yeah that's validation future you doesn't have time for those games future you're's going to say, fine, you don't believe me, I will move along. They came back because there's a robot trying to kill you, obviously. We don't have to.

In two weeks, a robot's going to kill you. Yeah, and then when it does, I'll know he's telling the truth. Now, could it be something as simple as, like, who was the first person I kissed? It could be. as like who was the first person I kissed. It could be. If you think you can fake a South American shaped mole on your butt cheeks, you can fake, you can get the knowledge.

Yeah, people can get that info. No, I'm thinking about this. I'm thinking about the first person I ever kissed. Uh-huh. I don't know that there is anyone else alive, possibly including that person. That's weird. That knows that that was my first kiss

I was worried you were going to say that and I am more worried now that you said it so your first kiss has passed away no but I don't know if she knows that that was my first kiss oh my gosh I thought I didn't mean she didn't know that you kissed her that's what I was

that's what I was I thought she was asleep or something no i just meant she doesn't know if i was her first kiss no one else was tracking with me no nobody was tracking with you we did not go there when you said that she didn't nobody else knows including her i was like all right that's weird but i i think that would be my i think that would be my question because i look my wife sleeping beauty mike you've never seen it my my wife knows you know all all about my past we've been married for 15 years but i'm pretty confident if i asked her for the name of my first kiss she would get it wrong i think she thinks she knows but she probably i don't i

don't believe she knows so So that would be my question. But to be clear, the girl you kissed knows. She knows that we kissed. Yes. I don't know if she knows whether or not that was my first kiss. So you didn't tell any of your friends? Oh, of course I did. And if you think that my friend from freshman year of high school remembers that, I mean, no way.

Freshman year, huh? Very. Oh, shoot. Then that wasn't the right one. Oh, no. I would have got it wrong. I can't answer it for current me, Jason. I forgot there was one that superseded that.

Oh, man. Okay. Oh man. We're getting deep. Here's what I know. I know that that future Jason is an imposter. He will never be able to prove it to me. Have you been kissed before? I'm still waiting. Okay.

Let's draft. The spit ballers Draft. All right. Jason has the first pick, and we are drafting the scariest fears and phobias. So we are drafting phobias, and we are trying to assemble the scariest group. Yeah. I mean, look, this is an important day to have the first pick yeah it worked out for you but i need to say a psa and i've said things like this in the past it doesn't matter

if you come at me and tweet a picture of this creature. Usually you get muted. And by usually, I mean every single time. Someone tweets, I don't care who you are. He's not lying. I just mute you, and I will never see anything from you ever again. Oh, it was so funny. To nobody ever. But for the next two weeks, it's a block.

You're getting straight up blocked. But arachnophobia will be the 101. Because I has it. And i don't like it man do i hate spiders they are spawn of satan i mean it doesn't even matter if they're poisonous not poisonous if it's a not poisonous little tiny spider that can't hurt me it could kill me via heart attack have you heard uh recently i mean i don't look not a scientist i have no idea how they would be studying these types of things but they're the the theory the hypothesis of our fears where we have like a real irrational fear that we can't control, the theory is that your ancestors had a very traumatic event. With that, say...

It came down in the brain science? It came down in the genetics? Right. It basically printed in your DNA that your ancestor, many, many moons ago, something happened with spiders. Oh, my gosh. And so as they grew, that was just in there, and then it gets passed down through the DNA.

So here's the crazy thing about that. I remember being a kid and not being afraid of spiders. There was this, you know those big green electricity boxes? Maybe it was you. Yeah, yeah. The Transformers? Yeah, it used to be right in your yard. And there were daddy long legs on that.

And I would go and I would play with them. They didn't scare me at all. Then nothing happened. And all of a sudden, my terror just gripped me. I don't know what it was. That's because your great, great, great, great grandfather, Clarence T. Rutherford Moore. Maybe. Had an issue with the spider.

He woke up covered in spiders. Yeah. So you're drafting arachnophobia. Yeah. All right. I'm going to draft taffophobia. Do you guys know what that one is? Oh, is that taffy related?

Oh, man. Taffy can be so dangerous. It's scary, right? If you get it caught in your teeth. Or you're scared of that president? Taft? Yes. Yes.

That's it. William. No. It is the fear of being buried alive. Oh, okay. That's it. William. No, it is the fear of being buried alive. Okay, that's a good one. Because even entertaining that possibility, I mean, that's rough. That puts claustrophobia in there,

and it just goes to another level. It brings fear of death in there. It combines them all. If you were buried alive alive i don't want to know what the process is from that moment that you know oh yeah that you're buried until the moment you would expire you'll just you'll fall asleep eventually one would hope oh you will you i mean you wouldn't will you wake up again no no you no. You'll carbon dioxide. Oh, I hope so. You'll poison yourself.

Yeah. Okay. So I'm drafting that. So if you're in that situation, just start breathing rapidly. Okay. I will, Mike. I won't be calm. Good advice.

But wouldn't you be, like, inhaling dirt? Maybe small. What kind of cheap coffin are you buying? Oh, no. I was just shoveled. No, you're just buried. You no i'm i was just no you're just buried i was doubled alive oh you're just right yeah just straight into the dirt okay i'm pretty sure that if you're just buried alive with dirt yeah there's there's no process of you trying to figure out what's going on it's just done because you have suffocated yeah i don't want that but you don't let me just tease this out because people get you're skiing, right?

And then you have an avalanche. That's different, though, because it's snow. And you can breathe snow easier than you can breathe dirt? Not well, but I mean snow. People survive under the snow for a long time. What if this is a very airy soil? I don't think you die right away. I don't think you die right away. I think you,

I don't think you die right away. I think you go real quick. Under five minutes. I mean, if you take a big, if you can breathe at all, cause there's room for air to get in, then you're right.

You're taking a big inhale of dirt and then you're choking and then you're going to inhale more dirt and it's going to be done. All right. Well, that's a good one. Oh no. Oh, okay.

All right. I have the wrong. I do have some intel for you know that's the right word uh fear of being buried alive if you're in a coffin it takes it would take five and a half hours before all the oxygen in the coffin was consumed there you go yeah breathe breathe rapidly that is more terrifying all right okay this is a great draft. I just realized that I am going to be terrified. It's spooky season. All right. All right, Mike, you get two phobia picks.

All right. Well, because I had my number one pick already, and it's a terrifying thing. I guess it's it this is it's a terrifying thing all right i i guess it it's fine for us but and that's the general public but this isn't like a i'm afraid spiders are going to harm me i'm afraid that i'm buried alive that because i'm gonna die but glossophobia is the fear of speaking in public. It is one of the most terrifying things that someone will encounter at some point in their life. Did you ever have glossophobia? I mean,

because obviously now you've, well, in your past, you were a musician and you did go in front of crowds. And obviously with the show, we've done live shows. I have, in certain avenues i

do get very very nervous and like back as when you're a musician and you're green and you're cutting your teeth i mean you're terrified yeah before each and every single performance once you get booed enough yeah yeah then you get the thick skin and nothing really matters uh so not as like i guess death scary as what you guys are talking about. Thank you for the break from the death scary, to be honest. And I remember the Seinfeld joke where the, that fear of public speaking is greater proportionally than the fear of death.

Yes. And the populace. So he would always make the joke that you'd rather be in the casket than given the eulogy in that situation. That's a good joke. Yeah, thatogy in that situation that's a good joke yeah that's not bad that's a good joke all right it's my joke actually oh man you should do stand up that was my that's my beat uh all right i'm i'm torn here okay i just i gotta we gotta stay on For some reason, this one has two words.

Okay. I'm not sure why, but we have apophobia or Melissa-phobia. And it is- Fear of Melissa's. Yes, because they are- Melissa Joan Hart. Oh my gosh, I'm terrified. She was a teenage witch.

Alyssa Milano- Is not a Melissa. She was also a witch. She was also a witch, but she'sano. Is not a Melissa. She was also a witch. She was also a witch. But she's not a Melissa. So that's good. Melissa Milano is her sister. Alyssa minus the M.

All right. So go on. It's the fear of bees. Oh. Certainly. You are really quite afraid of bees. Are you the same with wasps too? Yes.

Yeah. Things that fly and have stingers. Here's the true problem about wasps, hornets, bees. When they're flying, you have no idea where they are going to go because they have no idea where they're going to go. If they submitted a flight path, you'd be fine. And they can't. Scientifically, I've seen these things broken down where it's like,

bees don't really make sense bees shouldn't be able to fly but they do and that's why the reason they shouldn't be able to fly that's why they never know where they're going to go eventually they crash land onto a flower take some pollen and then pray to the bee gods that they make it back to the hive or they'll sting you bees pray to are the way to the bee gods. Now, I'm afraid of the bee gods. I'm going to be honest. Those are murder hornets.

I think you should have seen my son this past weekend. We went up to the cabin. Good for him. Listen, we went up to the cabin and there are animals in the wild. Did you guys know this? I was aware. Insects in the wild. We've done everything we can do to completely protect this house.

We've got a pest person coming by. We've sealed all the entrances. We've kept the doors and windows shut so bugs can't fly in. One little moth gets in the darn house, and the whole house comes crumbling down because of that, the unpredictable nature of flying. No stinger, though. In the Wright household, we had a night where a moth ended up in my boy's room, and no one could catch this thing, and it was just pure pandemonium and chaos of me bobbing and weaving, just swinging a fly swatter.

Oh, we've gone. And the kids are screaming. It's a moth. The Dyson vacuum, the cordless, has become the bug catcher of the air. I sucked the moth out of the sky. But then it's just alive in the container. Not for long. It buried it alive.

Five minutes, 50 seconds or whatever. All right. All right. All right. We've got... Mike has two. He has glossophobia and melissaphobia. Remind me what they are again. Fear of Melissa Milano.

We've got to put those in here too, Al Borland, when we're writing them down. Melissaphobia, fear of bees, glossophobia, fear of speaking in public. Okay. And I've got the fear of being buried alive, and I'm going to combine that with a very common fear, a fear that I don't think fully goes away, nictophobia. All right?

It's the fear. Of Nickelodeon. Yeah, if you don't have cable and you're fearful that you don't get to watch what's on there. It's the fear of the dark. It's the fear of the dark. That's nyctophobia? It is.

It's fear of being in the dark. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Nyct, what? Nyct? It's N-Y-C-T-O, nyctophobia. That's how you pronounce it.

All right, sure. But I think this is something that, you know,, as a kid, the darkness is very scary. Oh, yeah. But even as an adult, you watch the wrong movie. You get up at the wrong time. You hear the wrong sound. And I think what it comes down to is you can't see as well in the dark. Yeah.

I think that's a big part of it. It definitely is. That's got to be it. Well, here's the thing. When you're in the dark, do you know what is right in front of you? No. No. It could be anything.

Exactly. It could be anything. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to go with that one. It's common. Everybody's got it, and it can still get you when you're older. I watched the wrong documentary up at said cabin when I was by myself, and I'll be honest

with you. A lot of people wanted to murder me outside that house. It's funny because- I'm here to do the murder. I'm here for with you. A lot of people wanted to murder me outside that house. It's funny because- I'm here to do the murder. I'm here for the murder. Somebody call a murder. It's funny because you say it gets adults too and I think to myself, I am not afraid of the dark.

I'm not afraid at all. Okay. I turn the lights all the way off. I want every electric, electronic- I'll prove it to you. I'm a man. I sleep with the bitch black my hand in front of my face so black black okurds and black okurds that's right

um but then i'm thinking like there are certainly situations oh man we went and and i think it might be exclusive to cabins but i was at a cabin and had to walk around the cabin at night, and that is doggone terrifying. Yeah, because there's bears. Well, I think I was. And night bees. Yeah, bears and night bees, and I'm pretty sure at all times someone. Right.

That's the fear. Were you afraid as a kid of the dark in your room? Probably. Did you need a nightlight? I don't know. I don't remember. Do you Did you need a nightlight? I don't know. I don't remember. Do you need a boo-boo blanket? I don't remember my childhood.

Okay. You know, a real fun game is in the middle of the night, go to your kitchen and look out the window and just imagine there's someone standing there. Oh, yeah. That's a really fun game. Super fun game. Everybody go home and do it, kids. Yeah.

Not just kids. Adults. Enjoy home and do it. Kids. Yeah. Not just kids. Adults. Enjoy. Unfortunately, that is also why Jason's first kiss doesn't know it was the first kiss. It was pitch black. It's black. I ain't no dark. Jason, that's two picks. All right. With my picks, I'm going to take one that is it's somewhat similar to yours andy your first pick except actually common applicable in life and um i i don't think i'm gonna i feel like you're insulting me with this presentation and that's what i was going for so congratulations me i'm taking claustrophobia i mean the fear of tight spaces okay i watch these videos and i'm in a nice bright lit room and i watch a video of someone climbing down some of these caves oh yeah

that are like well first of all i couldn't fit um but you know it's like how I totally would go down there. The idea. Tell me how it is. Of like a one way tight space. Oh, no. Where someone else comes in behind you. No way. What if you replace the person coming in behind you with like someone shoveling dirt into the cave? How would that be? Would that be better than getting in the cave?

That would be worse. Look, I would rather be in a tight spot than be buried alive. Okay. But I'm never going to be buried alive. Oh, man. I hope I didn't jinx that one. Famous last words. Yeah, people who are buried alive often are, that's the last thing they say.

Yeah. I never thought. I said it wouldn't happen to me. All right, and for my second pick. So right now I've got arachnophobia, fear of spiders. Claustrophobia, fear of small spaces. And on the opposite of a small space, I'm going way up to acrophobia, a fear of heights. I have a mild fear of heights.

I don't care. Airplanes. You don't get higher than taking an airplane. And I know that some people who are afraid of heights Well, you can get higher than that, but go on. Sure. You ever heard of a rocket ship? Don't you think you could be an astronaut, Jason?

Don't you think you could still have that career? How am I getting higher than an airplane without a very specialized future? All right, I'm with you. But people that are afraid of heights that go on an airplane, they say that scares them. That's not fear of heights to me. I'm sitting in a chair. But if I'm on like a 12-foot ladder, I mean, I'm like, Oh my gosh. I,

when did I get afraid of being just a little bit off the ground? Your, when you talk, talked about liking spiders as a kid, and then all of a sudden it hit, that is my story with that one. That would have been my next pick. It's a great one.

Some, at some point in time, I used to climb on the roof of my house as a kid. I used to climb fences and get up high on ladders. It didn't bother me one bit. Then all of a sudden I try to climb on the roof of my house as a kid. I used to climb fences and get up high on ladders. It didn't bother me one bit. Then all of a sudden, I try to hang some Christmas lights, and one thing leads to another, and I need to hire someone to hang some Christmas lights.

Stuck on the roof. That actually happened, yes. I think what happens is your body figures out. Your body is always doing the math of if i fell from here what would happen what would happen oh and when you're a kid look at 12 foot ladder if it's grass oh yeah you mean just bouncing like i've did you ever did you fall out of a tree as a kid i'm sure i did all 50 pounds of me i i definitely fell out of a tree i could do more pull-ups back then, too. And I got up, and I was like, oh, perfectly fine. And I know if I did that exact same fall in this body,

I'll see you guys in a month. Yeah. Because I'm out. Full traction. I'll be in the full body cast. Yeah. All right. That's a great pick, Jason, and a very common fear that, for some reason,

gets worse over time, the fatter I get. I'm going to draft calrophobia. A fear of California. A fear of California cows. Yeah. Moo. It's a fear of clowns. It's a fear of clowns.

This one's wild to me. Regular, ordinary clowns, sure. But once somebody had the idea that a clown could come get you once that happened they're creepy it's multiple things it's like a mask if you see a person in a mask or a person without a mask you're like the anonymity of a clown mixed with the kind of creepiness creepiness of like okay if a happy thing is turned is turned mean and bad, that's a common fear and it's a scary fear. Sure, it's fair. Well, and with the disparaging of clowns over the last several decades, you know that those who have successfully grown up to become clowns, you know.

Right. They might have fallen on hard times. You can't trust that. Yeah. know right they've might have fallen on hard times you can't trust that yeah and and by the way i mean we saw earlier in the show they also they will challenge you to a duel in an arcade and they will kill you if you lose have you heard about actual like clown school tell me more tell me about so i i don't it's i'm remembering just like an anecdote not a sponsor uh no no is that the one founded by Bozo? Probably not.

Bozo is probably one of the reigning alum. Okay. But it's actually insanely difficult to get admitted to the actual, this clown school. Like harder to get into this than it is to get into a lot of prestigious colleges. I don't believe that. Well, you should go ahead and look it up. No, that's interesting. Go ahead and look it up. There's probably not a lot of clown schools, so there's a lot of prestigious colleges. I don't believe that. Well, you should go ahead and look it up. No, that's interesting. Go ahead and look it up.

There's probably not a lot of clown schools, so there's a lot of demand. This is the one. I think it might have been like Steve-O who told that story. The trustworthy source. He tells the truth, and he went to clown school. I mean, I'm looking at the clownschool.com, and they've got some funny noses.

That seems like something that you know how you can get an officiate wedding via online certificate. I feel like I could probably graduate. They probably got a quick online program. You could, but your juggling would suck. Yeah, you need to be on site for your juggling. What about your clown murder? Really hands-on training for juggling. You can do clown murder without school?

Here's how you do murder. Clowns. All right. A lot of murder on this show. Don't do murder, kids. Yeah, yeah. Never forget that. I got two picks here.

I'm building a very strange roster of fears, but I will take this one. Well, you've got public speaking and bees so far. Yes. The bees, it's home. uh well you've got public speaking and bees so far yes and the bees hits its home i just wanted the people to know that i understand it's scary to speak in public uh i will take necrophobia which is not the fear of being buried alive it's just this the fear of death or or the fear of dead things and the people out there they don't like things. I feel like that's a twofer. It is a twofer.

Especially when you describe it as two phobias. It's like a flex position pick that I just took. I would imagine that those things have different phobias. No, no, no. Definitely don't research anything I'm talking about. I believe the one you said is the fear of death, right? Whoever gave me the definition definition they gave me both of them so i will take that and then with my final pick i don't know that this is a common one but

this is this is what i have because i i i pride myself on my my memory so i will take athasagoraphobia, which is the fear of forgetting. The idea that I will get old and I will start to lose my memory. But you won't know. And you don't know. It is terrifying to me. And it's only terrifying now because if it happens to you later, you won't know. You won't know. That's why I'm not afraid of it.

That's probably the way death goes, too. Once you're dead, you're probably not afraid of it anymore. Well, what was I so worried about? Some of these, when they happen to you, you're worse off than the fear of them. Like, I don't know, the spiders or the bees. Yeah. Or the heights, potentially. So in researching these phobias, one of the phobias I found interesting was a fear of being forgotten.

That's actually, wherever I was looking, that's kind of included in the- You just got four phobias. You guys need to learn how to draft. You got to up your game. Yeah, I think that I've had some dreams in the past where I am existing in a world and I am trying to interact with people and everybody's doing their normal life around me. Nobody sees you. Nobody's paying attention to you. It's everybody's doing their normal life around me. Nobody sees you. Nobody's paying attention to you.

It's bad. No, it's not good. All right, I'm going to go with this last one because of what it can do even when you don't want to be afraid of it. There's something that just... Taco bellophobia. Right.

Even if you don't want to be afraid, something happens. The things it can do to you. It's hemophobia, which is the fear of blood. Blood. Okay. And in particular, a lot of people are very afraid of blood in general. But I am more.

It's incredible what happens to your own body when you see your own blood. This happens to people when they get their blood drawn. They pass out. I can see other people's blood and i'm a little bit do you have a problem with your own blood i have a problem with my own blood not to the point of passing out but like i had to cut the uh i was working on something i sliced my finger open i got deathly nauseous for like 30 minutes because i saw so much blood coming out and i knew i was practically i knew i was fine i got it all wrapped up but when

i started thinking about it again i started getting i almost threw up i was like over a trash can it's wild my i had my dad passes out almost every time he gives blood i had a a friend who had a a story did you have a friend jason yes uh it was it was it was clarence moore a friend, Jason? Yes. It was Clarence Moore. A friend's husband is a tall, big guy, and the story went like this. He's walking into his kitchen, and he banged his hand on some sharp thing on the counter. Like a corner? Yeah, and he lifted it up, and his hand was bleeding. So he immediately passed out and smashed his face into the counter broke his nose

and the wife comes in and he's on the ground in a pool of blood passed out because he bonked his hand on the counter that dude had a fear of blood that's what I mean and you can tell yourself you're fine and your body knows something's wrong with it

and when you see blood, it's weird. What's funny for me, I mean, my kids have that unbelievable. Oh, they all do? My boys. And, like, they scratch themselves. They go full panic. Is it bleeding? And then they're like, yeah, it's bleeding a little bit.

Bleeding means it's serious. Oh, you need to go to the hospital. I have absolutely no problem with scrapes, cuts, really any type of injuries, blood, my own. It's never bothered me. But what bothers me and always gives me the quiver down the spine when I first see it is stitches. Really? If somebody has something stitched up and it's, oh, let me see it, I will go, what?

I'll become accustomed to it after that, but it's this weird reaction, especially when I have no reaction to any other type of injury. It does seem a little weird that you're like, hey, can I see it with that fear? Oh, well, you got to see it. You got to check. Come on. If your friend has stitches and they say, hey, you want to check it out? Yeah, I want to see it.

Of course you do. You got to know your limits. And with my limits, and this kind of ties right in for the final pick here. Yeah. I'm taking trypanophobia. Oh, this is needles, isn it it is needles but like mike it is defined as an extreme fear of medical procedures involving injections yeah needles and injections is what i got yeah so on my list oh i i you have a real issue with this so i do i have a lot of things to be honest i have a real issue with this. So I do. And a lot of things, to be honest. I have a real, genuine, deep, spidery fear.

Well, because I recognize... Everything's relative to the spider fear, which is Max. I recognize intellectually that the fear of spiders is stupid. I'm not afraid of scorpions. Scorpions can hurt me far more than spiders. They don't bother me um the needles are not gonna I mean you know in general that's not gonna hurt me but I have such a fear and it's not it's not actually of the needle like I got my flu shot the other day how'd that go no problem it was wait what not afraid of it didn't hurt uh it was it was of it. It didn't hurt.

It was nothing. It was absolutely the easiest thing of all time because I got that in my shoulder. But for me, did you watch or did you look away? I did not watch. Okay. But it's when you draw blood, when you go in a vein. I mean, my arms, like the underside of my elbow. I can't even be touched there. And then you bring a needle and put it inside of my arm to take my blood out.

Oh, man. You say your dad passes out every time. You get close. I get close. I remember getting a health insurance blood draw here for the company. And I know that one man made a big deal out of this. Yes, you did. It was me.

Hey, out of curiosity, Al, so that the people at home can learn a little bit more about you, we named 12 fears. Out of those 12, give me the one or two that is at the top of your list. What do you think? That would probably be the being buried alive and heights. Those would probably be the two. I guess it's not always about the practicality of like,

we don't have a lot of high likelihood that we'll be buried alive in the near future. But once you start thinking about it i get it that the idea you said heights for your second one yeah i don't know if there's an actual phobia for like the fear of being startled but that would be high on my list if there is interesting were there other ones we we left off you know fear sharks fear of flying i know is a fairly common one i i brought up this before maybe uh to these guys but I don't know if you've heard of it have you ever heard The of the fear of Holes like closely clustered

Holes no like Honeycomb and things like that's a common If you're out there with that fear Send me a little DM on Twitter I want to I want my people get a support Group weird man it's a weird Phobia all right We're done

What did we learn today It's weird, man. It's a weird phobia. All right. We're done. What did we learn today? I learned that Jason does not necessarily know who his first kiss is. I think I do now. I worked my way back there. I learned that in Arizona, cats can fly off of light poles. And I learned that a newspaper will only clean up a murder for so long. Right. That's not a permanent fix, Mike.

It's not. Very temporary. All right. That'll do it for us. Hope you enjoyed this show. If you did, could you leave us a review over on Apple Podcasts? That would be appreciated. And we'll be back with you next week.

Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com. Just practicing. Oh, that's smart. just practicing oh just practicing for next episode yeah because this one's already over it's finished but sometimes you got to prepare to scat for the intro and hey if you enjoyed this episode please head please head over to spitballerspod.com. Learn ways that you can support this show and learn ways that we can support you. Support us supporting you. It's symbiotic.

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