Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 134: Tall People Problems & The Worst Exercises - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: January 25, 2021

We’re rich! Or are we? On today’s show, we talk about winning a lottery jackpot and the ramifications that come along with that. We also discuss having an unlimited free meal pass to our favorite ...fast food restaurant, creating our own theme park, and our most cherished possessions. Finally, we cool-down with a draft everyone can rally behind - Worst Exercises! Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad! Visit us on the Web Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Instagram Subscribe on YouTube

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, spit wads, you looking to save some quiche, some cold hard quiche online? Look, we've all been there. We're shopping. We're checking out. We're ready to go. And there's that coupon code field. And we're like, do I do it? Do I scour the internet?
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Starting point is 00:01:40 Hey, get ready. Let's get sweaty. Come on. Okay. Sure. hang it ready let's get sweaty come on okay sure i'll be honest i missed that was not a stat but it was kind of funny it was yeah a little bit a little bit it was i had a good rhyme i appreciated that. I was confident in my plan. Execution from the beginning was off, so we had to pivot. Welcome into the Spitballers podcast, Andy, Mike, and Jason. But we stuck the landing with one or more feet. Let's get sweaty, everybody. Let's get sweaty.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Would you rather Situation Room, a spectacular sweaty draft on today's show. We'll put it that way. At SpitballersPod on Twitter, Instagram.com slash SpitballersPod. How's everybody doing this fine afternoon? Pretty well. It's another afternoon. Al Borland, how are you doing? I'm fantastic.
Starting point is 00:02:45 Okay. All right. We're in good shape. We may proceed as scheduled. I'm excited for the draft because even though this was like a late edition, we didn't know what we were drafting until recently before the show. But it's really nice when I can draft things I hate, just absolutely despise and explain why
Starting point is 00:03:05 they're terrible. The nice thing about this one is, Jason, I actually think that you will get... Jason could go 50 rounds. People will rally behind our hatred in this draft. We'll keep you in suspense even though I'm sure it's in the show title. Alright, let's do
Starting point is 00:03:22 some Would You Rather. Would you rather would you rather brian from the website would you rather have one random meeting or appointment canceled every week or one random bill canceled every month huh okay so wait so you're saying huh you can get out of a meeting once a week oh or you can get out of paying a bill once a month but here's the thing i see so this is a good thing to get it canceled you're saying like i want okay like the random bill cancel that sounds fantastic spin the wheel maybe my water bill is out or maybe my mortgage. My mortgage for the month wiped out. I don't have to pay it.
Starting point is 00:04:08 Here's the problem with if it's a random meeting or appointment, I am still getting ready for that appointment. How much advance notice do I have that the random meeting is canceled? You've got to give me a couple days. If no, if it's a meeting that you don't want to attend, you'll be happy that you got dressed and got ready and then it got canceled. No, you're not. I mean, you're happy that the meeting is gone, but you're still.
Starting point is 00:04:31 How dressed up do you get for that dentist appointment, Mike? I put pants on. All right. And you'll be sad to have to take them off? Yes. Absolutely. I mean, look, we're doing an important show right now, back to back, you know, podcast awards, comedy podcast of the year. And I don't have pants on. I haven't gotten ready for it. an important show right now back to back you know podcast awards comedy podcast of the year and I
Starting point is 00:04:45 don't have pants on I haven't gotten ready for this is not important enough or necessary enough for me to put pants on so Mike is right that when you have these thank you I'm gonna have to you know and and not just shorts like an important meeting I'm going full pants and that's a nightmare um but I see a different problem with this question. The different problem is that, like, when your bill gets canceled, right? Like, oh, you don't have to pay this month. Well, that, I mean, I feel like that's wiped out. But when your meeting gets canceled,
Starting point is 00:05:16 it's just pushed back, right? Like, now you've got double meetings next week with the meeting you didn't want. I got it. And the other thing... Okay, go ahead. The other thing is, like, I don't know about you guys, but almost all bills, I will venture to say all of my bills are monthly.
Starting point is 00:05:34 So this is like, you know what I mean? Like, or one a month. I only have one bill a month for all these different things. That's great. I've got it figured out for you, Jason, because I'll equate this to something I know you wish was canceled all the time. Now, we are we are mired in a less event driven moment in history. However, I know from your lifestyle pre pandemic that you had many a child birthday party to attend. a child birthday party to attend. These happened nearly every single week of your life. And it was almost impossible to understand how many friends your kids have or relatives you have.
Starting point is 00:06:11 This was, would you say three or more, three a month over under on average? I would say over because there's more, well, I mean, I'm not positive, but I think there are more than three Saturdays a month. And so Saturday was a birthday party. I think I had like 30 Saturdays in a row with a birthday party. And I hate that my kids are social.
Starting point is 00:06:34 Would you double your mortgage payment to eliminate those permanently? I think I would triple it. Sorry, kids. Dad has to work, so you can't go to a party. That's right. Oh, man. That being said, I guess I don't. So the birthday party, that's legit.
Starting point is 00:06:54 But having a bill canceled every month, that's like I got a raise. It seems so much better. Let me ask you this. Would you rather get a raise and have to attend all your meetings which you you know usually already do or would you rather keep the same salary and skip a meeting i i think i agree with your logic and i would i would take the random bill canceled it would be fun if it was a like a dial where you like you know you pull the lever and it randomly you know you hope you get the lever and it randomly –
Starting point is 00:07:25 you hope you get the mortgage, but you could also get the Hulu bill or the Netflix bill, and you're like, no, dang it. That's still $10. Get out of here with that nonsense. I'm not going to a meeting for $10. Time is money, Mike. I'm glad I don't have a lot of meetings. That would suck.
Starting point is 00:07:45 All right. I'll officially take the – I'm glad I don't have a lot of meetings. That would suck. All right. I'll officially take the bill. Yeah, me too. Hayden from the website with a would you rather question. Would you rather live in a place that is 28 degrees year round or 110 degrees year
Starting point is 00:08:02 round? And that is Fahrenheit for our international listeners. Okay, so I'm doing the math here. Is this hot or cold? I'm doing the math just off the top of my head because, of course, I know that the formula for Fahrenheit to Celsius is Fahrenheit minus 32 times 5 over 9. Of course, I know that.
Starting point is 00:08:22 Yeah, of course. So 28 Fahrenheit is negative 2 celsius and what's the other temperature 110 degrees beep boop beep boop beep that's 43 celsius just for our that doesn't matter to our listeners um i'll take 43 can i get 43 fahrenheit it's hard to associate the 28 degrees year round with... Have you ever been in that? Oh yeah. 28's not that bad. Here's what I'm saying is when I think
Starting point is 00:08:53 28 degrees, I generally think it's snowing outside. Where have you experienced 28? I mean last week I was up north in And it was sub-freezing? It was 17 degrees outside. What? What? No. What? Wait, no. What? No. Yeah, man.
Starting point is 00:09:06 No. Yeah, this is normal. The whole freezing thing, you know, when people are like, oh, this is freezing weather. Freezing isn't. And you're like, hey, let's head up north. What? Freezing isn't that cold. It is 35 degrees there right now.
Starting point is 00:09:21 Yeah, I mean, I think 28 degrees. Like, both of these are uncomfortable right i'm not going to want to hang out outside 110 we live in arizona in the united states it's the worst and it's 110 all the time and for at least half the year it feels like and that's a nightmare my i had to turn on the ac in my house two days ago me too i did too what was that about just in case you're listening some other time of the year it is the middle of january in my house two days ago. Me too. I did too. What was that about? Just in case you're listening some other time of the year, it is the middle of January.
Starting point is 00:09:50 It is the middle of January and we had to switch our AC units back on because it was like, this is untenable. Guys, I painted my mailbox and I got a sunburn. All right? That's what happened
Starting point is 00:10:01 in the middle of January. But part of the 28 degrees has been snow, what happened in the middle of January. But if this like part of the 28 degrees has been like snow sloshies, that type of thing, but just the temperature 28 degrees, if it's not super windy, if it feels like 28, I'm picking that one. I can go do stuff outside. I can go for a hike. I can ride a bicycle. I can go work on the yard like in arizona there's this certain part of the year and we're kind of in it to be honest where it just because we're it's a day and we're because it's january and this day it's it's like life-giving when you can work outside or your kids can play outside or i can sit out front and watch them ride their bikes i you know i think 28 degrees is my vote yeah because
Starting point is 00:10:48 you want to know what the kids can do they can put a jacket on you know like you can you can you can find a way to go outside and play in 28 degree weather there's not enough clothes to take off in 110 degree weather that's just not you you can't you can't get cool enough you can't like wear ice packs where's the tech like people made seriously people made the technology to warm up like that's caveman technology man they put they're like i'm cold i'm gonna put an animal fur on my body and we haven't been able to to figure out clothing air conditioned t-shirts i have the internet in my pocket you're telling me we can't figure out clothing technology. Air-conditioned t-shirts? I have the internet in my pocket. You're telling me we can't figure out how to cool down?
Starting point is 00:11:30 I will tell you this. I don't like the cold. Like, I'm a tall man. I have long arms, long legs. It takes a long time for my blood. What does that have to do with the cold? It's circulation. If you have long extremities, you have worse circulation.
Starting point is 00:11:44 So you're telling me that taller people are colder? It's circulation. If you have long extremities, you have worse circulation. So you're telling me that taller people are colder? Yeah, my toes and fingers. This is not rocket science here. Yes, it clearly is. What are you doing? This is not a thing, Andy. This is normal.
Starting point is 00:11:56 This is not a thing where tall people get colder. Does it take my blood longer to get to the tips of my toes than it does your toes? You bet it does. No, because your blood is always in your toes and in your fingers it's moving at all times it's not like you've got to wait it pumps from your heart it does you do have to wait for oxygen not for temperature of your blood it's not like your blood goes to your heart warms up and then goes to the rest of your body okay i look i'm so cold up here hands and feet being cold fingers being numb that happens when you're taller clearly you don't understand that but my whole point of bringing this up was i bought some you talk about the technology i bought some gloves for up north bro you plug
Starting point is 00:12:46 them into the wall and they got eight hours of like heat in your fingers it's pretty cool so i'm having a hard time moving on um from the assertion that tall long people have colder extremities what about what about um people that just have poor circulation? And they're not tall. That's possible too. Right. So, okay. I feel like if you've got good circulation and you're tall, you're fine.
Starting point is 00:13:19 I think it's just a matter of circulation. Correct. And mine is worse because I'm tall. Okay. That's what we need to look into do tall people have worse circulation what's interesting about this is no matter what if it's if it's 110 if it's 28 i know that that jay moore is is strolling around outside with his shirt off so i'm in my boxers bro i'm taking that garbage out i don 28 degree weather. Jason, I don't know why you care either way because you're shirtless. Well, I care because I get so hot at all times.
Starting point is 00:13:51 My child, I'm tucking him into bed. This is like three nights ago. We're doing hugs, kisses, prayers, and he turns to me and says, Dad, why are you always so hot? I was like, that's a great great question i don't know the answer but i am always on fire it's because you're so it's because you're so short jason oh that is the issue the blood is the blood moves too fast it builds up friction and friction is heat and like this is just it's not rocket science that makes sense so that we've solved it why don't we segregate you know geographies by height
Starting point is 00:14:27 so that people can live in their proper climate did you not know that Yao Ming used to wear a sweater on the court all the time that's common knowledge my favorite part is I swear I saw like the light on Andy's face changing colors because he was Googling. He was trying to find something to back him up. He never came back to us with any information. Tell me I'm wrong, Andy. I found some Reddit, but Reddit's not a good enough source to bring up on the air. Tallpeopleproblems.com. So you're telling me I may have circulation issues unrelated to my height?
Starting point is 00:15:00 Is that what you're telling me? That's right. You might want to go to the doctor. You might get your cholesterol under control oh my goodness well look i think i'm going with the cold weather i think i got the tech for that i can take off layers what's funny is i used to go on snow trips as a kid and it's really cold now mike has never comprehended anything colder than about 30 degrees apparently but when it gets really cold. I'm sure I've been in it.
Starting point is 00:15:25 It's just I can't tell you when. I remember you go and you do sledding and stuff. I would be wearing a T-shirt and shorts by an hour in because you were so, you're moving around, you're totally fine as long as it's not windy. Cold and windy, that's where it gets pretty devilish. We took a family trip last year up north, and we went sledding at a sledding park where you have to carry these tubes all the way up the side of the mountain. And then you go down, and it's fun.
Starting point is 00:15:56 And we bundled up because we're from warm climate. We think we're going to Antarctica. And we were in snow bibs and ski boots and gloves and layers and by the end of that thing I'm wearing a bib with just a t-shirt underneath I look like the weirdest dressed man of all time and I am sweating my butt off I know how entertaining this episode must be for 90% of the U.S. that actually has normal cold weather. By the way, at that sledding park, Jason, were most of the employees really short? I mean, how else would they stay warm?
Starting point is 00:16:30 They have to. Jason, have you ever pitted out of a snow jacket? Oh, yeah. All right, I'm voting cold. Everybody voting cold here? We live in Arizona. I think we want the change. I have to throw away all my leather jackets uh francisco on patreon has a would you rather question would you rather
Starting point is 00:16:51 have a black card to these to any single fast food place of your choice so i'm assuming that means uh free food forever unlimited card okay it's pretty cool um So this is an unlimited food card, a black card to any single fast food restaurant. But one meal. One meal per day. One meal per day for life or $12,000 cash right now. Here's something that's stupid. I'm going to peel back the curtain. I'm going to.
Starting point is 00:17:22 I'm going to peel back the curtain here. We deal with sponsors. We deal with food sponsors at times, and they pay for advertisements, and they want us to endorse their products, and they'll send us some gift cards. And here's the reality. gift cards and and here's the reality we are always disproportionately thrilled about free product than we are about the money that is worth so much more especially especially mike oh i'm i'm right there with him like if this was if this was a meal card for only one year not for life but for one year versus twelve thousand dollars i feel like'd take the meal card because it's just cool. I can't buy that.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Which, mind you, I did the math while you were talking about that, despite the fact you said you do it for one year. If every meal, if it's a $10 fast food meal, you've got 1,200 meals for $12,000, right? I mean, that's the basic math of it. Yep. Okay. Okay. 1,200 meals is-12,000, right? I mean, that's the basic math of it. So 1,200 meals is 3.2 years worth of meals. That's if I ate every single day. That's if you ate every day. What if it's once a week?
Starting point is 00:18:36 Yeah, you probably once a week. At some point, you're going to be down to once a week. 23 years. 23 years. Give me that card, baby. It's going to pay off in 24 years. Jason is completely right, though. We will be dealing with sponsors making us monetary deals.
Starting point is 00:18:53 And if Mike can't get their product, which is probably like $38 or something, for free, that's a turnoff for Mike. He wants the free value. Look, I don't want to. I don't lie if you hear me say if you hear me do a read in a in a or if you hear me talk about a product in a read and i say i love the product you know i'm telling you the truth that's because i got it would you rather be you'd rather be special than rich is that a would you rather oh yeah i mean because you feel that's
Starting point is 00:19:20 exactly what you pull the gold card out you, right? That's exactly what it is. The the the the the special nature of special treatment is just one. It's always been. It's always been one of my absolute favorite things. Special walk into a Starbucks and they just have your drink ready and it's free and you just grab it and you walk out and, you know, that sounds pretty nice yeah i remember i you know i stayed at a hotel once where they knew who i was and they put uh because i had tweeted something that i was staying there and were verified and super famous um what is it hold on i've never heard this story really yeah you you were at a hotel yeah my wife and i a couple years back we took a staycation and you put it out on socials that you were there,
Starting point is 00:20:05 and you were so important on social media that they saw it? That they saw it, and they filled our room with chocolates and wine, like, complimentary with a note. What? And let me just tell you something. That's awesome. There's no part of me that was like, oh, please, you shouldn't. I'm like, this is, I got to tweet more places.
Starting point is 00:20:26 It's fantastic. I got a table once, and I really liked it. What is happening? Oh, yeah. Now, listen, Mike makes plenty of money, and right now Mike would rather have one table a little bit sooner than any of that money. He feels left out.
Starting point is 00:20:44 I am not unleashing the power of social media, apparently. Hey, man. Like I said, it was one time, and it felt really cool. So, Spitwads, give someone in your life special treatment. Go above and beyond because of who they are, because it feels so great.
Starting point is 00:21:07 Pay that service forward, and especially to the three of us. So when you come into contact or you know where we are, real special treatment, just real A-list stuff. At Producer Borland on Twitter. He would like more followers
Starting point is 00:21:21 in case he's eligible for some of this someday. All right. Sarah from Twitter, would you rather win a $100 million lottery? That's a lot of money. And have it announced on national TV? Or a $50 million lottery and only people that know about it are the people you choose to tell? That is an awesome question. Awesome question.
Starting point is 00:21:49 Because practically, what's the difference between $50 and $100 million in the way you live your life? I know it's $50 million, but it's... No, I get what you're saying. Now, for the sake of the philosophical argument here, we have to say that if you win the $100 million, you're actually receiving $100 versus $50. Because I know if you win the 100 million dollars you're actually receiving 100 versus 50 because i know if you win the 100 million dollars you're probably getting 50 yeah
Starting point is 00:22:08 you're saying double double the actual net here right let's just say that are not a part of this you actually get 100 or you get you get 50 right and i will say this it would it would kind of stink to have everyone know that you've got 100 million dollars not just for being hit up but like just for how you're thought of and everybody knows every single person you went to school with every family member every employee employer okay how do you feel now that everyone knows that you wield your social media like a weapon so that people will fill your hotel hotel rooms with chocolates now to be clear i did not wield i just simply said we're gonna go stay at a staycation here wink wink tag did you tell you tag them how else are they gonna see it um what's funny is i love chocolate tag what's funny is I use my social media 10 times less than either of you two
Starting point is 00:23:08 than either of you two like I don't I don't yeah I don't use it for uh that much but that was my one that was my one moment circling back to the the question on money let me ask you this how many people in your life let's say you you got uh you you received infinity you got a you got a billion dollars and you wanted to give a million dollars to those people who meant the most to you how many people could you come up with that are really important and you would oh to give that money to yes really important to you i would say matter a lot i honestly think i if i had unlimited money to give away i bet i i bet there'd be 40 to 50 people pretty quick but you don't have unlimited money you have no but jason gave the hypothetical my point is i feel like you'd be like seven for me like well i'm not giving it to people i knew in high school
Starting point is 00:23:56 it's like your family your point is smart here because let's say you have 100 million and everybody knows but then you could be more generous with the money because you've got more of it to give away and i don't mean that from the like real like pious oh i'm i'd be so generous you like legitimately could give a lot more like all my family members would get money all of my friends you just said you could come up with 40 people yeah i think 40 of them a million dollars say you will never get another dollar from me. Here's $1 million. And at the end of that, you've got 10 million. Like 40 prenuptial agreements with all of your friends. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:24:29 And at the end of that, you've got 10 million more than the 50 million. That's true. Now everybody knows, but they all love you because you made them a millionaire. My dad used to work at this office park where the lady right below him actually won $106 million in the Arizona lottery. Really? Wow. Yeah. Did she quit?
Starting point is 00:24:46 She quit instantaneously. Yeah, good for her. He never saw her again. He congratulated her and never saw her face ever again. The question is, did she go back to that job? Because I know almost everybody who wins the lottery, they go bankrupt or they lose it all. It's because the people who play the lottery have the financial discipline of the people that would go broke with the lottery. That's fair.
Starting point is 00:25:13 Unfortunately. All right. I guess. Look, I'm taking the $100 million. I'm taking the $100. Yeah. The – so, I mean, I guess it's – I'm not concerned about – I'm not concerned about the national presence because, I mean, but if you have the 50, you're cutting your money in half,
Starting point is 00:25:37 and you can only tell – you can tell whoever you want. You can tell nobody. Well, I mean, you're going to get – Here's the thing, thing mike i feel like the new with with the way the news cycles and the way that i am able to uh i'm able to treat those around me if they are coming at me with any disrespect and i'm like okay see you later i'm taking the 100 million dollars yeah because let's say you got the 50 let's say you got 50 million dollars mike let me ask you a question in three years time from the time you received the 50 million dollars
Starting point is 00:26:09 what is your house like what what does your home look like is it maybe a really really nice home right because okay then all your family's gonna they don't need to know you won the lottery they're like whoa this dude's balling like yeah they're all gonna know you're rich you're not i mean the only way that 50 million makes sense here is if you take it and you just look this goes to retirement i'm not touching it and live your life the exact same way in which case take no money i feel like if i have 100 million dollars i'm i'm moving and then i'm telling my family like hey come visit me in montana and they're like well where do you live i'm like no i own montana now i bought the state
Starting point is 00:26:51 land was cheap because that's how much this state is worth and now it's all mine i think it costs more than 100 million now for montana for the whole state yeah it's pretty big well like 101 yeah it's not much more. Well, I mean, there's a lot of, aren't there some moose up there? I think that's all Canada. That's all Canada? Yeah. They make sure that they don't come down south of the border.
Starting point is 00:27:16 That's right. It's like how saguaros only grow in Arizona. Right. Moose only exist in Canada. You almost said meese. The only moose up there. You almost said meese. You almost said meese. I might or might not have.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Let's move on. We'll get right back to the show. But first, I want to thank today's sponsor, Mejuri. Mejuri, they are makers of fine jewelry for every day. They are fairly priced. They are handcrafted. They are ethically sourced and made to last. You know what?
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Starting point is 00:28:56 That's M-E-J-U-R-I dot com slash Ballers. Mejuri.com slash Ballers. And you're going to get 10% off your first order be a Valentine's Day hero check them out the situation realm what is a situation okay I googled how much money is Montana worth and the first number that shows up is 100 million dollars that's the first thing I see it's bold 100 million
Starting point is 00:29:32 and then I look I'm like wow this is great and then I look and that's Joe Montana Joe Montana is worth 100 million dollars there you go and just in case you wanted to know how much Montana is worth I own Joe Montana It's worth $100 million. There you go. And just in case you wanted to know how much Montana is worth, I own Joe Montana.
Starting point is 00:29:50 Buy Montana. No, Joe. Yeah, just come on home. You want to play as my butler now? Yeah. Yes. You just buy him just for catch. Help my son play catch whenever he wants. That reminds me of, what was it, Parks and Rec,
Starting point is 00:30:03 where they have Rick Smiths Smith on retainer or something. Or Detlef Schrempf. Oh my goodness. Okay. Into the Situation Room we go. Josh from Patreon. All right. This is a big one.
Starting point is 00:30:18 I have not read this yet, so prepare yourself. You three are given a $2 billion budget. What's with all the money questions? I love it. Money and poop. That's what this show is about. $2 billion budget to create a theme park. Each of you is in charge of a different aspect of the park.
Starting point is 00:30:38 One is in charge of food options. Another in charge of rides. And the other in charge of events shows parades holidays fireworks etc you have also been given permission to use inspiration from any music sport tv book or movie in your theme park what would you call your park who would be in charge of each aspect and what will be your park's headlining features do you guys guys have any... Let's build a park, gentlemen. Any, you know, mascots? I can't think of the right word.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Just intellectual properties that you feel like there's not a theme park representation of this, and there should be. Well, I used to. I mean, my wife and I, we were at Disneyland one day, and we bought a sketch pad of paper and sat down, and for hours, we drew a theme park for Harry Potter, because it didn't exist
Starting point is 00:31:34 yet. Wait, hold on. You were at Disneyland. We were in the park. You were inside the park, and you're like, how should we spend our time with this $500 ticket that we bought? And you sat down, and you sketched in a sketch pad we were inspired by there are holes in this story well the holes in the story are this is
Starting point is 00:31:51 pre-kids we could do anything we want to disneyland like every five weeks we could do whatever we want i mean we practically lived there but uh you know that's what i wanted to build and i feel like i haven't been to the one in florida i've been to the one in California. But goodness gracious, it's not good enough. It's just it does not. There needs to be a Harry Potter Harry Potter Park, not just like you're going to Universal Studios. And then there's like these three. I feel like you can't do Harry Potter. You got to go someone else.
Starting point is 00:32:19 It has to be a timeless IP because you can't have it expire. Right. You have to have something that like the star wars stuff makes sense because that's lived for you know decades and decades and you know marvel certainly would fit that bill that kind of stuff could last forever i would have said nintendo but they've apparently built a nintendo land over in japan that's a good that's a good idea looks awesome that's a but that's the right thought process there. Yeah, it's not open yet, so I think we can still latch on to something like that.
Starting point is 00:32:48 We get ours open first. But that won't attract so many people. There are so many people that are unaware. What about just video games? Could you do like a video game or music or like a theme that is just a wider genre than a specific idea? I think you could do a specific video game.
Starting point is 00:33:05 How about this? How about we do something that is on the Disneyland scale, but it's an outer space theme park? I mean, just that theme. I don't think there's anything that's been, you know, Elon Musk is obviously part of the investment group that's donated the $2 billion. You can have different planets for different areas okay oh yeah you visit the entire solar system yeah you've got different uh the whole no gravity
Starting point is 00:33:31 and spaceships fits in with all the themes of the theme park on the the the comet roller coaster yeah oh dude an anti-gravity ride would be great you could do some great vr stuff now jason what kind of foods are you uh looking for in outer space well i the one thing i do know about outer space moon pies food oh moon pies that's that's good but you know when you look at astronauts and how they eat in outer space i i'm confident they need churros so right um that is the clear space Space churros. Space churros. But here's the deal. Yeah, you got to be like, these are churros. Yeah, that's right.
Starting point is 00:34:09 There's an extra H. No, they're going to be staros because they're going to be in the shape of a star. Oh, okay. The star will. Yeah, no, I can put it together. Well, yeah, you know how a churro right now is like an asterisk. If you look at it from the side. You you know what i mean are you following me yeah the shape of a star oh you're just making that if you look at it like barrel down barrel down because that's like mason it's
Starting point is 00:34:35 it's a line it's a stick but i'm saying that line would be you know squirted out as a star and so it's totally different star rose would be the main attraction out as a star. It's totally different. Star Rose would be the main attraction. The main attraction of the park? These Star Rose? They're going to be good. Mike, you have to be advanced. I know you did some of the live touring at the train.
Starting point is 00:34:58 I don't mind. I think I know rides, but I think I could handle the events. I'll consult you on rides all the time, but me and you both know we're not going to have enough rides and make people throw up because both of us can't ride those. So Jason's going to have to help with those. Yeah. I was going to say Andy doing rides is, is a little bit worrisome because they're going
Starting point is 00:35:16 to be, this ride hits five miles an hour. They're going to be real gentle. You're going to be, if you fall out, just get up and walk and catch up to your tram. It's like a roller coaster, but at moon gravity, so it goes a little slower. That's his theme for all rides. Well, I mean, look, in outer space, you can't go as fast. Why aren't there any sound effects? No sound in space, guys.
Starting point is 00:35:40 Keep it down. Let me ask you on the topic of the shows, the events. Yes. So I would love to be put in charge of that because my job is over. I don't have any. I hate them all. I hate parades. I hate the wasted time.
Starting point is 00:35:56 I mean, there's like some big spectacles. I like the fireworks show. I put some. But how do you two feel about events at theme parks? Because to me, the only advantage to them is quick go-ride rides while all these stupid people watch the parade. I 100% agree with you. When it comes to the parade, I'll do it. I'll sit down because I know that my kids really like it.
Starting point is 00:36:19 But it's a situation where, generally speaking, Grandpa goes and claims a spot for the parade two hours before the stupid thing begins. And I know he's doing that because he just wants to get away from my children and sit down and rest for a while, which I respect it. But you also, to get that spot, to get the prime spot, you have to go sit there hours early. And it's absolutely ridiculous.
Starting point is 00:36:44 So I am with you. Parades are out. Here's i'll say because when i the last time i was at disneyland we also went to like uh it wasn't six flags it was uh another one of the big theme parks there knott's berry farm i was it was knott's berry farm which has tremendous rides it's same huge scale incredible jelly i think that all those things you're talking about, Jason, that are dumb and that I agree. I don't congregate for them. I think they're doing more than you think they're doing for the atmosphere of the park. I think it's like a restaurant with a perfectly clean bathroom. You don't know why you like that restaurant so much, but it's playing a part.
Starting point is 00:37:22 And the atmosphere of having a parade going by or dances happening or people meeting characters i think it's just part of the romanticism that makes you go you know what disneyland is just a little bit better than everything else okay low budget low budget for the parade low budget's fine we can invest our money into the starro development but but i do love i love a good show and i like when they they're like okay there's the show is at 130 and i know because there's multiples a day i only have to go there 20 minutes early or 15 minutes early i can get a pretty good spot and i go and i know that the show is going to be incredible the the the entertainers are going to be top notch the technology involved in the show is going to blow my mind.
Starting point is 00:38:05 So I'm all for shows. I'm just not a huge parade guy. Yeah, sure. I like it. The parade is fun if you're sitting. I like to eat during the parades. Like be at one of those restaurants right next to it. So you're doing more than just watching a parade.
Starting point is 00:38:19 I like to eat during the rides. This could be something we introduce. That's next level. You know how usually you can't bring- You sell the Staros as you're clicking forward in the cart. Usually you can't bring food on the rides. Not at my park. Not at my park.
Starting point is 00:38:35 That is an ultimate high pressure sales situation. If you're going up the incline for the roller coaster, imagine someone's like, you want one of these churros? You better make up your mind. And you better eat it before you start going down. You got 10 seconds to say yes to this star roll. All right, Mr. Musk, come and invest. Yes, I like it.
Starting point is 00:38:59 All right, the next situation before we get into our draft, we'll do one more. Becca from Patreon says, you are awoken in the middle of the night to the smell of smoke and you quickly realize your house is in flames oh my there's a problem that's scary you quickly get your family and all of your pets to safety you have time to run back in and grab three things what are they oh good you know this is this is actually top of mind because uh because we were up north in a cabin that we may have burned the fire a little bit and filled with some smoke and there was a moment of like, hey, do we have a battle plan if we ever have this place catch on fire?
Starting point is 00:39:37 What do you run back in for? Everybody's safe. The pets are safe. I mean, the laptop? The laptop was honestly one of the first things I thought of. Me too, but isn't everything on the cloud? I mean, it's all on the cloud. Is it just for value?
Starting point is 00:39:55 No, I don't think so. I mean, I guess you're right, though. I mean, most stuff is probably safe. Yeah, and you'll have, let's assume you'll have home insurance here to replace the items. So I think this is like, what can you not lose? Do we have that? People would run in for photo albums in the past. Yes, my wife would 100%.
Starting point is 00:40:17 The first thing that she would grab would be photograph hard drives for me. My valuable, like people grabbing jewelry. Are you getting a guitar? I'm grabbing my most valuable pair of sneakers, my man. Oh, yeah. That's funny. I am a collector. I have some shoes that have accrued certain value, and they're just not available.
Starting point is 00:40:40 So I would grab my highest pair. No, that makes sense. That makes complete sense and sounds so horrible. Like, I got to get my sneakers. No, but that's basically grabbing money out of your house. With those shoes that you have, I have a little chest with all the birth certificates and social security cards. That's the thing I'd be going for. That's number one.
Starting point is 00:41:05 Yeah. Because you don't want to have to go down to the office to re-get social security cards and birth certificates and all that stuff. Passports. So, yeah, I'm getting the files out of the file cabinet, if you will. Yeah. Outside of that. Al, what about you?
Starting point is 00:41:22 You got something special that we need to know about that we could break in about and we could we could break in and steal which tool is owl born with saving man that is tough i'm gonna have to give that some thought i i just can't think of anything that i own that's irreplaceable um like photos and stuff are all in the cloud i don't know offhand my whole life our lives are just in the cloud man we can really have our homes burned down now, so long as everybody's safe. That's true. Like, there's not, like, outside of those documents, I can't think of anything, like,
Starting point is 00:41:52 I have a safe. Irreplaceable. And there's values in them. It's fireproof. I'm good. Right. I'll just get it at the end. I'll grab some of my video game collection here.
Starting point is 00:42:02 I've been downsizing it into, like, just a giant CD jacket so I can grab it. I can grab one of them and get most of them. game collection here. I've been downsizing it into just a giant CD jacket so I can grab it. I can grab one of them and get most of them. Okay, all right. These are all the games that you don't play, right? Oh, that's right. I will never, ever play them again. But you'll have them.
Starting point is 00:42:17 They're yours, Mike. That's right. And you will never take them away from me. Hey, Al, should we do one more situation or should we jump into the draft? Let's draft. All right. Hey, Spitwads, time for Algo Especial. And in case you don't know what I'm talking about, in case you don't speak Spanish, that means something special. And I just learned that
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Starting point is 00:43:31 that's where I met Jason in a Spanish class in high school, Babbel actually designs their courses with practical real world conversations in mind, things that you will use in everyday life, which makes it a whole lot easier and lessens. Here's my favorite part. They're like 10 to 15 minutes each. So it's super, super easy to get going right now. When you purchase a three month Babbel subscription, you get three additional months for free. So that's six months for the price of three. Just go to babbel.com and use the promo code BALLERS. That's B-A-B-B-E-L.com, code BALLERS for an extra three months free. Babbel, language for life. The Spitballers Draft. All right, we are drafting.
Starting point is 00:44:25 Mike has the first pick. We are drafting the worst exercises. The worst exercises. All of them. And this is where I said Jason wants to go 50 rounds maybe. Look, there are definitely some bad exercises out there. Some worse than others. There are drafts where the first pick is the best place to be,
Starting point is 00:44:51 and then you have these ones right in the middle. This one, it's not that there's no value to the first pick. I just believe strongly that there are two easy picks at the top. Interesting. That makes me feel a lot of pressure. Oh, wait, no. Jason has the second pick. Jason has the second pick,
Starting point is 00:45:09 and I don't know which one he would go. Oh, man. I think I know what I'm going with, but I would be surprised if it's yours. Oh. So I'll just... Oh, man. I'm tilting with the 101.
Starting point is 00:45:28 You had to have something that was locked in here, didn't you? There's two franchise quarterbacks on the board. Really? I'm trying to figure out which one do I actually want. See, here's the thing. My list is very personal. It's not like what are the worst. It's which ones do I despise and hate the most. I've got some on my list
Starting point is 00:45:46 that people are going to love. It might be their favorite thing and I'm saying get out of here with that stupid healthy crap. What is funny is it is very personal because Jason and I, we used to work out together and it was amazing how certain exercises for certain people were not possible
Starting point is 00:46:02 for them. It was like Jason would dominate something that I would struggle at and vice versa on something else where it was just like, I remember your feet were on fire due to one certain exercise that made no sense. Certain exercises, my feet just, they were so hot. And I think it's because of the weight that I put on them. It really wasn't fair to my feet, but you know,
Starting point is 00:46:26 win some, you lose some. And I've narrowed it down, so the last thing I'll say is the hardest part is I know what the number one pick is for me, but I feel like if there's any chance that one pick somehow made it back, that would be the one.
Starting point is 00:46:43 But I'm just going to take it. it's the absolute it's it's the it's it's the worst man it is the worst burpees burpees are by far the worst freaking thing that you could possibly do they work you out like a like a mug man this thing handles your body but they are the worst when you get three into the burpees, you have to go to 20, and you know that you're never going to make it. I put that at the bottom of my list because that's a universally despised exercise. Because it's the worst. Because it's the worst, but it's also the best in the sense of what it does for you.
Starting point is 00:47:21 For those unaware, a burpee is when you're basically you start standing and you go down into basically a plank where you put your feet behind you you drop down you come back up and you jump yes yep all right all right so i'm up oh so my gamble my gamble did not pay off but i went with my heart so i feel all right i feel good it would have been picked before it came back to you here's one that so you'll see a theme in a lot of my picks. It's things that make me look stupid. It's things that I can't do well. And there is nothing more humiliating,
Starting point is 00:47:58 especially if you're in a room full of people that can do this. I took a kickboxing class once, and this was the warm-up. The warm-up with all of these great athletes in the room. The warm-up was just, hey, go grab that jump rope. And everybody's going to start doing these. They're barely jumping. They're not jumping. They're like, I don't even understand how the jump rope is going underneath their feet. And here's me like, one, hit my feet and then yes and then and then you know i can get like five or six before i hit my feet and then at the end of this thing i am dead i'm like this was a great workout i'll see you guys next time um but it's it's humiliating
Starting point is 00:48:40 if you can't jump rope like the expert jump ropers and you must have loved doing jump rope with me jason oh i did because honestly i was the expert i mean that with impunity i mean that was you you and me next to each other i'm i'm taking jump off my list i feel great about myself and i am an expert well i thought i thought I would get a little thing. It's circulation issues. Yes. What's the rope? The rope is too small because you're tall. Well,
Starting point is 00:49:10 and the worst part was, it's like when you're working out with a trainer and he tells you to go do jump rope, you're on display as it's like a person without rhythm or tone trying to sing. If you're, and then it starts to get into your head. Yeah. You keep hitting your feet over and
Starting point is 00:49:25 over again and they're like are you so stupid are you the stupidest so that's a good pick Jason it makes sense it was on my list um I am worse than you amazingly at jump rope all right well look I get I get the 101 at the third pick which it's called running. Yep. That was my other pick. I mean, it's like walking only way worse. You have to run. You're not doing anything competitive. You're not doing anything exciting. I mean, it's even worse on a treadmill.
Starting point is 00:49:58 I mean, I've done that, bought the treadmill before probably twice. Oh, yeah, I'm going to do it. No, it's running. It's so stupid i hate it um running is the one-on-one it is absolutely like the the two worst is jump rope and running but jump rope is so much more specific to me but i am so jealous of people that love to run yeah people love to run like there are people that that's their like me time they just go out they're all called liars they're all called healthy is what are people that that's their me time. They just go out. They're all called liars.
Starting point is 00:50:26 They're all called healthy is what they're called. Yeah, that's true. You ever seen an overweight person with a running addiction? I just can't stop running. I run every morning at 6 a.m. If you run every morning, you're healthy. I're if you run every morning you're healthy i don't care what else you do in your life that's true healthy person yeah yeah but yeah running running is it's terrible and and i've i've gone through the running spells in my life and honestly it's
Starting point is 00:50:58 it's just too easy to cheat at if you're a running like you're starting to run. By not running? By not running. You see? You just start walking? You can just start walking. You don't have to go as fast. You don't have to push yourself. I don't know. There's something about it where I'm just not entertained. We'll go with running for the first pick. The second pick is much more difficult
Starting point is 00:51:19 now. I guess I'm going to go with full-on legit sit-ups i think they're stupid i think they make no sense i'm pretty sure they're terrible for your back and they fatigue you and i'm not sure that they're really the key to getting abs i think doing little crunches and stuff makes sense but full-on sit-ups, I think that's a bad exercise. All right. And I can't do a lot of them.
Starting point is 00:51:50 I have crunches. I could if I wanted to, but because they're stupid, I don't do them. I have crunches on my list. On principle. Thank you. Ab workouts, when you have a bit of a belly, become extra difficult because there's something in the way like shoe ties have you ever done shoe ties oh is that an extra that's an exercise for me tying your shoes that's a nightmare i'll draft that um yeah i mean it that just that's the worst when you're
Starting point is 00:52:19 like do these sit-ups it's like i can't something's in the way um all right so i'm on the clock you are okay okay um all right i'm gonna go with another one that looks stupid that makes me look stupid what makes me look weak here's the the thing i have really strong legs i i'm i'm i can i can i can jump things are working out and i can squat if i go to one of those squatting machines exactly mike i mean look those legs have a lot of uh weight on them and so my legs are really strong if i go to one of those machines where i can you know squat or or you know like the the bench press for your legs. The leg press? The leg press, which is probably well-named. The bench press for your legs.
Starting point is 00:53:07 You mean the leg press? Yes, I do. I can dominate that thing. I feel impressive. I feel like if people were watching, they'd be like, whoa, that guy can really leg press. That's what they say. But a wall sit. Oh, no, it's on my list.
Starting point is 00:53:27 Me too. Like the wall squats. Yes, I can sit with no weight, none whatsoever, on a wall, and 30 seconds in, I look like I'm doing nothing. I should be able to sit there forever, and my legs are on fire. I am going to die soon. There's no way I'm making it to 45 seconds and all i'm doing is sitting on a stinking wall with no weights that's stupid i hate it in every ounce of my body they are the worst they they make you feel so incredibly weak yeah you can get the shakes on the wall
Starting point is 00:54:00 squats real quick oh you not you can you do you you're required it's a requirement you're gonna have the shakes here in about 20 seconds yeah okay just keep going like no no i'm done all right i have two picks i might need to find some more exercises i was really upset with how all of the things that we're picking are also on my list. And I'm like, oh, my list is starting to dwindle. Well, there is a reason that there is a day, an exercise day when you go to the gym and everyone hates it. And people want to skip it. Like, it's notorious. You hate leg day.
Starting point is 00:54:43 And there is a reason people hate leg day because working out your legs is awful. That's because it's unrewarding. Right. Because at the end of it, you don't see a dude with big legs. He's wearing jeans. It's like, okay. It's like, just put my chicken legs in there. Give me some big biceps.
Starting point is 00:55:03 We're changing things. Society is changing. People are starting to respect the quads and the hamies and the glutes a little bit more. Oh, my time is coming. It is, Jason. You got skies out, thighs out, man. You got to get them short shorts. You got to get tiny shorts and big shirts.
Starting point is 00:55:20 Just the biggest parachute shirt you can find and the tiniest shorts. I'll basically look like I did when I was a kid wearing my dad's shirt to bed. But with the best calves ever. Look at these hammies. All right, so I'm going to start with my number one least favorite leg exercises. I will go with the lunges where you're going down one I'm terrible at it
Starting point is 00:55:50 I don't know how people get their knee to the ground I'm off balance all the time I feel like I'm going to tip over I got these weights in my hand it sucks I can do unweighted lunges and I feel
Starting point is 00:56:05 like I'm going to fall over. I hate it. Anytime there's an exercise, like, cause I was thinking unweighted lunges when there's an exercise and there's no weight involved and you're just, you're just lunging forward. You should be able to do that. And yet after a few, you it's like, this is not working. So, all right. All right. Okay. So lunges. And now do I just double up? Do I just keep going with leg day? So I'm going to go. Oh man. Which one do I despise more?
Starting point is 00:56:34 I'll just, I'll just follow it up. I'm going to keep the legs going. I'm just going to take plain old squats, plain old squats. They, you, I will say like when you're done with squats there, it is rewarding.
Starting point is 00:56:47 Like it, I don't, I can't imagine that anyone on the show, we're not going to say, you know what I hate doing bicep curls and bench press because after it's done, you're like, check, check out what I'm working with over here. Cause I'm, I'm nice and swole, but squats, I do feel accomplished when I'm done. But when I am doing squats and you're at eight and you got to get to 10, it is just a terrible feeling. I know that every blood vessel in my neck and my face looks like it's about to just rain red all over this gym. So I'm taking squats. All right. I loved squats. We would do goblet squats when Andy and I'm taking squats. All right. I loved squats.
Starting point is 00:57:25 We would do goblet squats when Andy and I worked out together with a trainer. And I'd hold an 80-pounder and squat, and I feel like I could do that forever. Is that when you're just holding the one weight? Mm-hmm. See, those are fine. Actually, I'm okay with those. But when you're doing a barbell squat or you're holding the two dumbbells it feels bad yeah so here's the thing my legs are strong that's what
Starting point is 00:57:53 we don't want as as men generally i mean not that we don't want strong legs i want strong legs right but my upper body is not as strong as my lower i want to flip the script because the next thing I'm taking, like when Andy and I are, we're working out together, right? You know, and we're doing the squats. I've got a super heavy weight. He doesn't. But when we flip the script and we got to do pull-ups, I think it's not fair because I always have extra weight to pull up and here's some scrawny unmuscular weak armed 160 pound guy who can just do pull-ups for days i like pull-ups a lot and
Starting point is 00:58:36 i'm 260 and i'm like i i don't you have a built-in a negative handicap built i can me i don't know if i could do one but i think I could do one. No, I can't. Now that I think about it, no way. I cannot do a pull-up. I could do like a curl when you're reverse grip. A chin-up, but a pull-up with your hands facing outwards, I do not believe I can get one as of this moment.
Starting point is 00:59:00 When we were doing pull-ups, either one of us, because we're now grown men and not like... I used to be able to do literally 20 pull-ups as an eighth grader. But now you have a band underneath you. And it's like daddy's holding you up going, all right, can you get something on the top shelf? It's called the embarrassment band. And he would stretch... Let's put a thicker band on this guy.
Starting point is 00:59:26 But what is super embarrassing. She's going to blow. Oh, yeah. Those bands, they were not happy with me. They were stretched to their limits. And here's the most embarrassing part. Like, that then propels you up, right? It goes down, and the energy goes back up.
Starting point is 00:59:44 And I still couldn't get to the top of that sucker with these bands. It was probably the most embarrassing thing. Whenever we had to do that in a room full of people, it's like, oh man, I need like six bands. Oh my goodness. Okay. Well, that one's good. That's funny. I will say this this i don't know if i can draft it but anything that has a level of complex look when you're working out you're sweating you're you're the blood flow circulation talk about circulation that's really difficult for you as a tall person you're not thinking straight so whenever we would be given like more complicated maneuvers, anything that means like I have to follow a rhythm.
Starting point is 01:00:28 I've got, I guess the jump ropes like it, but we used to do like ladders on the ground and you'd be putting your feet through in different orders, different speed ladder. Oh, an agility ladder. And those were always sat out front of this workout facility where the
Starting point is 01:00:42 physical therapy people are and they're waiting to go to their treatments and they're just watching me butcher. We put on a show. Oh, we put on a... We got to the point where they were enjoying it. If you're a PT, if you're a trainer, do you have premium pricing? The only difference between the workout
Starting point is 01:01:01 is you're not in the front room where everybody is. You're in the back in a private room, but you charge double the amount for the premium suite just so you don't have to be ashamed. I'll pay it. All right. I don't have any more like leaders of the pack. You guys have made some great draft picks here.
Starting point is 01:01:24 So I will go with, Mike, when you brought up the legs, I started thinking about leg extensions. Okay. And I don't think my knees really like that very much. So the good old-fashioned leg press? No, not the press. I'm talking about like when your knees are bent and you put the legs in between the two pads and you lift your knees up and down.
Starting point is 01:01:47 Oh, the quad machine. Yeah, it's a leg extension. Leg extension, yes, yes, yes. It's a leg extension machine. And so I will draft that one because I am fairly certain that is not good on any of your knee tendons or patella tendons or anything like that. That machine makes you feel good. Well, it does work that quad. I won't give you that.
Starting point is 01:02:12 I mean, that is instant gratification if you look down and you can see your muscles. That's true. I have no leg muscles until I'm on the leg extension machine. Then I got some quads, man. And then you get off limping around. I love that machine. Okay. I do too.
Starting point is 01:02:26 You know, it's one of those things where we love what we're good at And we hate what we can't do A la the pull ups I am with Jason Anything that makes you That is simultaneously difficult Not rewarding And makes you look stupid So I will go with a floor exercise
Starting point is 01:02:43 Of the supermans Okay Do you know where you're laying flat you're sniffing the floor to start with which is like the workout floor and then you're just extending back and you look real dumb i mean you look you're attached by your pelvis you're attached by your pelvis to the ground you put your legs up and your arms up in the air, and then you just have to do reps like that while you sniff the ground. So I will go with the supermans. Yeah, I mean, whenever you look stupid, it's embarrassing. And when you look stupid doing something that looks easy, it's worse.
Starting point is 01:03:21 Andy, how flexible am I? On a scale of 1 to 10, you are a are a zero that is correct I am off the scale in fact when I used to be a great athlete ran across country was on the basketball team I had to go get a physical for so that I could you know join the basketball team and I went to one of these places where they're doing like 300 physicals in a day and it's kind of you just go from one curtain to the next and each doctor or nurse they just do one thing to someone over and over and it was i lay flat on the table and they take they they grab my foot and they lift it up to see where my knee naturally bends um you know to see where your hamstring tightness is and
Starting point is 01:04:00 eventually as your foot gets higher bend at your knee to see where when my leg is raised at what degree of my leg being raised that my knee naturally bends in. And she gets about a foot up off the ground and my knee starts to bend. And she thinks I'm lying. She's like, no, no, no. At first she thought like, oh, I didn't understand. And then she explained it again. And then she did it again. And then she did it again. And it bent at the same place.
Starting point is 01:04:27 And she's like, and then she didn't believe that that was my natural. Like, I have my hamstrings. If Jason was, like, taken to a laboratory, he could discover that he doesn't have them. Yeah, I think they're not there or they're half size. People are like, oh, touch your toes. I'm like, touch my knees is difficult. Did you know you have used wash rags connecting your muscles? I did know that.
Starting point is 01:04:49 And for those reasons, I am drafting something that I know is very popular among a lot of people. But if you put me in a yoga room, I am not having a good time. I would pay for you to take some yoga. I cannot do a position that you want me to do. And this is supposed to be this relaxing, meditative. There's no possibility of me. There's nothing relaxing about yoga. Yoga is a brutalizing exercise.
Starting point is 01:05:17 Yeah, it's just. Oh, it's just. Look, that's for beautiful people. You know, and I'm so happy for everyone that can successfully enjoy yoga, but you get that out of my life. Ain't happening. I'm super into Warrior 2. Is that a yoga?
Starting point is 01:05:34 Yeah, that's the pose. Oh, the pose. Yeah, the hands go up. It's like a lunge with your hands up, and that's it. You're like, I'm going to stay in Warrior 2 here. Oh, I could do that, yeah. I'm not yeah into no downward facing nothing back to warrior one i'm like but two it's two so it's it's way more important than
Starting point is 01:05:50 your warrior one clearly i'll be here doing important things while you're in warrior one if i was doing yoga on one of those you know they have the mirror exercise machines i'd want the mirror to go blurry for the whole yoga portion like Like, don't show me what I look like doing yoga. Falling over. It's called falling over. That's what yoga is. It's called tip me over. All right, Mike, final pick for you.
Starting point is 01:06:13 Okay, my final pick. I'm down to, I've got two. I've got two that I like. But whatever. I'll just close it out with this one. It's another cardio one and this this is one that is is interesting oh was i did was i talking about warrior one owl was i wrong yeah if the hands are over your head that's where you're oh no my whole
Starting point is 01:06:36 like uh like an airplane my whole stick has fallen apart it's okay it's a common mistake warrior one warrior two mike you're all right all right. Well, yeah, first is the best. Second is the worst. That's right. Second is the first loser. This one, it's a cardio move, and the pieces just, they never come together for me where either I feel like my cardio is strong enough where I can keep going, but somehow my upper body is not strong enough to hold, or I can hold and the cardio is not strong enough.
Starting point is 01:07:06 I will take mountain climbers because I loathe mountain climber cardio exercises. Yeah, no, that makes good sense. Mountain climbers are, that's where you're on the ground. That's where you're on the ground in a push-up position, and then you just run your knees up to your chest. Oh, gross. I hate that. That's another one where it's like, ah, this belly's there.
Starting point is 01:07:29 There's no room for the knees. I didn't want to be mean because Jason whooped me on most exercises, but mountain climbers were not one that he would defeat me on. No, no. That's a good pick, Mike. All right. Spectacular. The only other one where I was like, this really should be picked,
Starting point is 01:07:48 even though you would have to say the machine, I guess, to define it as an exercise. But just, you know what? Stairs. Stairs are the absolute worst thing in the entire world. I've been in my life, I've been in and out of good shape. I've been in great physical shape before. It doesn't matter.
Starting point is 01:08:07 As soon as you're in front of a flight of stairs, you get up to the top. Like, ooh, ooh, that got the heart rate up. I'm a little bit winded. It doesn't matter how good a shape you're in. Stairs are the worst. Stairs are the worst. On my undrafted list, I have inchworms, which I don't think people know. inchworms which um i don't think people know that's where you're basically this you you go like almost like a push-up position and then you walk you oh you walk your legs you walk your legs
Starting point is 01:08:34 into your hands it doesn't work if you don't have hamstrings and when you don't have hamstrings it don't work um and then dance videos we should have taken the dance exercise videos. Yeah, bear crawls also suck. I was going to, you know, it seemed like a little overload on the running, but I think, you know, sprinting sucks too. Oh, jogging is the worst. Jogging, sprinting.
Starting point is 01:08:56 He had just taken all variations of running. You know what I hate? Running, jogging, sprinting, and power walking. That's right. All right, that'll do it for today's draft. One more thing. What did we learn today? Oh, I know what I learned.
Starting point is 01:09:13 Yeah, I mean, did you learn that tall people get colder? No, that's not what I was going to go with, but I did learn that. I was going to say that apparently northern Arizona is just much colder than I realized. You ever imagine? I learned that it's better to be special than rich on today's show. Be special. Get a special treat from a restaurant more than being able to buy it yourself. All right.
Starting point is 01:09:38 Nike, I'm available. Yeah, yeah. He will save your product from a burning building if need be. That'll do it for today's Spitballers. Thank you so much for supporting us. You can go to spitballerspod.com to learn more about how to be an official Spitwad supporter of the show. And we'll be back with another episode next week. Take care, everybody. Thank you. We'll see you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what
Starting point is 01:10:10 other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.

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