Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 144: Haunted Hampsters & Overrated Foods - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: April 5, 2021

On today’s episode, we discuss the pros & cons of growing up in the 90’s vs today. We also talk about fighting Mike Tyson, get out of jail free cards, and distinguishing between different types of woodlands. Lastly, Mike is sure to ruffle some feathers with his takes in our overrated food draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad! Visit us on the Web Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Instagram Subscribe on YouTube

Beep-a-dop-bop-bop-doop-dop-a-doop-dop. Oh, hey. I didn't know you were going to catch me warming up for my big scat intro that I may or may not be doing on this episode. I don't know. But, hey, thank you for tuning in. If you like this show, you're a great person. You want to support this show, join the spit.com,

and you get cool things like you can get an ad-free show, and you get episodes before anybody else, and you can rub it in their big, stupid faces for not supporting this podcast. Check it out. Join the spit.com. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve, it's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason.

Let's be that boop-bap-deep-top-potato-la-too-a. Tongue of Iowa. You're doing a quarterback there? I accidentally ended with two-a. Okay. So, you know, you got to carry that through. You know what I'm talking about. I actually, I was a pretty big fan because of sticking the landing,

having a little bit of, I don't know if it was vibrato, but it had some action at the end. Yeah. You gave more energy to the ending than you normally do, and I loved it. Well, usually by the ending, I'm inside of myself. Usually the ending's where you fall apart. That's what I mean. And for those who are not on the YouTube

which, what is it, youtube.com slash spitballers? Did you just ask me? Yes, you're right. I don't know if it's spitballers. Youtube.com slash spitballers. Okay. Real big fan of that old address. I didn't know if it was spitballers pod or, you know, I don't keep track of these things. No. That didn't know if it was Spitballer's Pod or, you know. No. I don't keep track of these things.

No. That's for Al. This was Jason announced right before the music starts. This is the most unprepared he's ever been for a scat. And doing so caused Andy to pull out his phone, record for extra pressure. I saw that. I was able to get mine out and recording just in time. So 3D. I was able to get mine out and recording just in time.

So 3D. But I will commend you because the extra pressure made you perform. Some people buckle. You had some people rise up. Clutch gene. Let's go. I am curious, though, when you said you're the most unprepared you've ever been. Is that's not a very wide scale on the like well it's impressive because when i say

it's a matter of seconds least different i've ever been you know a lot of times let's say you have a bad game you're playing basketball you can't hit a shot and you're like well i can't go nowhere to go but up i was able to have that and then and then still go lower but we're excited to have all of you with us spit wad spitballerspod.com is the website you can head over there find out how you can become an official supporter of the pod get early access to episodes and a bunch of other cool perks um i think we give you al borland's home address, things of that nature. Speaking of Al, we should let the people know about 22 episodes in advance that we've got another Al Borland scat coming on episode 166. We decided because episode 83 was the Al Borland scat,

that every 83 episodes is about the right cadence to torture him. Like, we don't want to be mean. We could have had him do it today. Yeah. But I think we're giving you a gift. And I hope you see it as a gift, Al, because, I mean, we can upgrade the opportunities for you. How are you feeling?

Silence. Oh, man. I'd rather not stew on this for the next 22 weeks. We won't. We would never do that. We won't do that. Countdown, though, too. What I will do is make a chain.

Paper chain? Paper chain. You can do it at home, spitwads, if you want. Eventually, he will break out another scat. And from what I'm hearing, that was one of the most popular episodes ever. And if you want to go listen, it's episode 83. People say he nailed that scat. Because he did.

He really did. So I feel like the bar is super high now. You're right. But also from my understanding, from what I've heard, he said he's going to crush what he did last time. That's what I think he's probably thinking, yes. Instagram.com slash spitballerspod. I wasn't joking about the paper chain, Al. I need you to make one of those for yourself.

I got to make my own chain? Yeah. It's almost a perfect definition of your job around here. You make your own chain. All right, Would You Rather time. of your job around here. You make your own chain. All right, Would You Rather time.

Would You Rather. All right, Chad from our Patreon community says, would you rather your kids grow up when you did, so in our case, the 80s and 90s, or have them grow up when they are now. So, like, this is... Technology or less technology? Yeah, it really boils down to that. It's multi...

Like, I have a reaction. I have a quick reaction answer. Okay. Or maybe... Hit me. You guys will talk me out. I think they should... I would rather them grow up when I grew up.

Okay, and why? I think it's the technology piece. I just being able to, it's a blessing and a curse to have the technology we have today. We're more distracted. The numbers bear out that kids today growing up with technology are more depressed than they were in our era of growing up because there's a lot of social media that the best example of that that i can give is we all grew up when you know you needed to dress cool at school right like you go oh yeah mossimo sure the pressure put on those adidas with the three stripes no there's no fear over here no fear oh man no fear some guest Starter jackets. Yeah. But here's what happens is you'd go to school, you'd feel that pressure,

and you'd feel the difficulties. Right. And then you would go home, and it's over. And you were safe. You were safe. Yes. And you'd go on vacation with your family, and guess what? You were safe.

Kids can't make fun of my Payless shoes anymore when I'm at home. Or when I go on vacation for a week with my family now with the phone in your pocket kids can persist with the pressure to always be kind of performing or there as you know the pressure can hit you so i think it's i mean that's a little deeper for the spitballers podcast than i meant to i love it i love but i think that's the truth i think we grew up and we didn't know how good we had it even though we have really cool technology now well i know that you know the three of us are in that very itty bitty tiny window where we're not really associated with any of the zennials right right as we are called we're not

millennials we're not gen x gen x because we had both we had the technology and we had the uh the phone hanging on the wall and no computer in the house we had a 60 foot cord to walk around the house um now here's the other side of this question though i want so it is still on the technology front I want my kids to get to teleportation or something just awesome. And if they grow up now, you know what I mean? Their odds of teleportation are higher than ours. Exactly right. I want to know what they're going to see even if I don't get to see it.

And if they grew up when I grew up, then, well, now we're the same age. That's a problem. That's a problem in and of itself. I'm your dad now we're the same age that's that's a problem into itself I'm your dad we're the same age what do you think Mike uh I my entire argument was what Jason brought up of we I'm sure every generation thinks we are the best generation but having but we are right but we're the best right having the experience of being uh, like, I wasn't a latchkey kid, but the latchkey kids where you go outside. Yeah. That's what you do.

You play outside all day. But then the Nintendo shows up, so you spend some days inside playing Nintendo all day, but then you also do go outside. And now we are just so overrun with tech. And I'm guilty. I am the problem because I love tech. And I want to buy my children tech.

And then I'm like, why are you so reliant on this technology that I keep buying for you every Christmas and your birthday? It's 100% true. You need to stop playing video games. Also, here's a brand new video game. You should check it out. Have you seen this? I'm always waiting for my kids to finally have the retort when I'm like, hey, get off your phones.

You can't always be staring at your phone. But you are. They give me that. I'm always on my phone. And I've got nothing as a reply other than, I'm older than you. I'm doing work over here. Business, business business business dad you're playing Candy Crush

it is this is a research project mathematics it's proven and there was a movie about this but you do look back at previous generations and you romanticize all of them so if you grew up in the 80s and 90s

now we're looking back we're going those were the golden years everybody thinks the previous generation was the golden there was also some real stupid stuff though hey i'm gonna drop you off at the mall i have no way to contact you get a hold of you find out where you are you can't get a hold of us i'll come back around five hopefully we find each other oh man they'd have to use paper maps or map quests you know it's like i like the fact that you know if if my daughter's going down to the park in our neighborhood i got a phone i can contact her i can see where gps you darn right i do i know right where you now one of my strongest memories like relating to that is being at the skating rink. I don't know if skating rinks are still happening and cool.

I imagine that they still have like. I don't think those have gone out of style. They still have some value and everything. But I would skate and they had an arcade. So all my quarters. So you wouldn't skate. Got it. Yeah.

The skating was very minimal compared to the arcade time. One loop around and ninja turtles here we come you ever played ninja turtles and ice skates yeah it's awesome uh and so my quarters would go in there and they also had the snack bar which was overpriced for but my point is by the end of the day i would be out of money and i'd be out of quarters and i would have no way to call except this thing called the collect call. Oh, somehow I pick up the telephone. I'm like, charge my parents even more money.

That's so funny. Even though they gave me money to be here. You had a choice to save one quarter to call them and you'd rather collect call them and get through another level. That is correct. Rather collect, call them, and get through another level. That is correct. This reminds me. I was explaining to my daughter.

This is this week because her friend sent her about 700 messages in a row that had no content. No content. Just like a space send. Space send. Trying to get attention. And I was like. Wait, wait, wait. This is a thing they just spam. Just spam messages.

So it's like a little tiny bubble? Exactly right. And I said to her what like these used to cost per message yes i mean it would have been two the way we text that would have been like two million dollar phone bills like to get these per message charges i know i'm getting charged but i'm also getting you charged why do they still say text message rates may apply at the end there's there's still some plans out there where you can go with, you know, like a $10 cell phone bill because you pay per. That'll soon become a feature of discretion, like charging you per message and tweet just to let you know that you're doing something of value.

All right. Well, that was a fun trip down memory lane. I'm having them grow up the old way. Yeah. The better way. Yeah. The better way. Like we did. drink out of that hose kid you'll live yeah that's right jason from twitter not you but somebody else with your name you have to fight muhammad ali and mike tyson in their prime

at the same time i don't know let's find out Who would you rather bring with you to fight to give you the best odds of survival? Oh, man. Yes. Two clones of yourself. Okay. Eight President Bidens. 100 aggressive hamsters. This is not a would you rather question, is it?

This is most certainly not a would you rather question. Who would you rather? Oh, he's highlighting. Al's highlighting. Who would you rather bring? Usually a would you rather is a this or that. That's fine. I don't really care.

Two clones of yourself. There's supposed to be rules here. What can eight President Bidens do at this point? Nothing. Nothing except you feel are there stairs oh no look he's he he's too old to fight and you would just be you it's like bringing in your your grandfather to a fight and just knowing that you're yeah you're gonna get your grandfather killed what if you just hold his hand and you hope that the empathy saves you? You wouldn't hit an old man, would you?

Okay. Wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you? Right? No, that's an interesting argument. And they could get in the way. I mean, the truth is. Okay, if there's eight President Bidens there, those are eight punches. That's six punches.

One of them's gonna fall a domino to others you know it from Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson yeah five to six punches are these hamsters discretionary like will they only attack Tyson and Ali they've got to be they're on your side I'm gonna still die I don't think any of these situations this is not dead this is would you rather how do you want to die is what the question is. With old men around you? No, you got to take the hamsters. You got to hope that Ali or Tyson has a rodent fear.

Because we were just watching video of a mice plague going on. Looks like a bad time. Imagine that those are just hamsters. A hundred hamsters. That's going to be a lot. And if they are aggressive, they can climb. They might be able to help you out. I know, like, you know, look, a lot of the power in these punches

comes from your base, right? Comes from your feet. Well, if you're stepping on hamsters. If you're slipping on hamster guts, you're not going to be growing very strong haymakers. I'm definitely taking two clones of myself I'm definitely I would do that if I were you too

you know I feel like you could take three punches like I said this is choose how you're losing this fight but I want to I want to lose myself choose how you lose

so this is a three on two situation But I want to lose myself. It's a new segment. Choose how you lose. I mean, honestly, if it was – so this is a three-on-two situation, which if it was a two-on-one, like, I would still lose so – I mean, there's no chance. Is there any way that you could get kind of in between them and do the duck so that Tyson punches Ali or Ali punches Tyson? That's how I do it. You need to position them on opposite sides of you and see if you could duck. Well, you'd have to have Ali be the striker because Tyson,

he doesn't have long arms. He's not going to overreach my wide body and hit Muhammad Ali behind. I like the part where Andy's proposing a theoretic scenario where he's going to be able to duck a punch from Muhammad Ali or Mike Tyson. He's going to be able to time that up. You're going to duck right into their fist.

Hamsters are awful, by the way. They're the worst creatures on the planet. I like hamsters. Look, here's what hamsters do. Let me just remind you. Yeah. Because we had them as kids. They bite you. Some do. They are up at night and sleep during the day. That is correct.

So they just make noise and dig up your carpet at night because they escape their stupid cage. Wait, your hamsters were escaping? All the time. What kind of crappy cages are you putting them in? There's a big cardboard box. And then when you buy them cool stuff like the tubes, the colorful tubes, or you build them something. They don't use that. They don't use it.

They just go sit in the corner. At least they smell good. And they poop. Oh, no, they smell horrible. But they will use the ball. I have a bad hamster story. Oh, no. Do you want it?

Yeah, of course I want it. Maybe. Our hamsters. All right, let's have it. You got a hamsters. Yeah. All right. You got a bad one, too? No. No. Mike and I just wanted to make sure this is.

I got you. We know there's people out there that have bad hamster stories. I'm with you. No, I actually, we had hamsters as a young kid, and I don't know how we got to this point, but we hated them so much that we decided that we were going to release them into the wild. A hamster? A hamster. First of all, are there wild hamsters?

What is the wild for hamsters? There is no wild for hamsters, man. Where do hamsters come from? Well, we thought maybe the forest. Okay. Does hamster have a P in it? No, it's not hamster. all right good i'm glad this is that's where you put your dirty laundry in the highway to spell he would have gone

that one would have been embarrassing i think i would have gone hamster so we we we drove up north with our hamsters in the back of the car, and we pulled over at a forest, and we released the hamsters. Okay. So you murdered your hamsters. But long. It wasn't just like a quick. But actually what happened is when we released them and we started walking back to the car, we turned around and looked, and we saw so many snake holes. Yeah. that we went

and recollected them and put them back in the... And then we gave them away. So the story didn't end with us killing the hamsters. But yeah, I don't think there's wild hamsters. I don't think there has to be wild hamsters. Wild hamsters are found throughout much of Europe and Asia.

Okay. Now that's hamsters with a P. No, Google corrected that. They said. Now that's hamsters with a P. No, Google corrected that. They said, did you mean hamsters? Well, yes, I did, Google. Thank you. What do we have? Yeah, chow-rantulas. Chow-rantulas and hamsters.

Austin from the website, would you rather have one real get-out-of- out of jail free card or a key that opens any door? That's a good question. That's a good question. Really? Is it a one-time key the way it's a one-time get out of jail free? Because if it's just a universal I can open any door forever. No, no, no.

Oh, okay. I read it as you would just have a skeleton key forever. You're saying this is a one-time. I imagine that's the intent is that you can get into one place that you want to get into. Yeah, it's very hard. Okay, we'll do it that way because otherwise it's, yeah. Give me the key. You could walk right up to the White House and you put the key in and you go right in.

And you get shot in the face. Also, you can go to jail and get out infinitely if you have a key that can open up any door that's a good oh you're loophole in this bad dog so it's a one time so you i do believe they take your possessions when you go to jail not where i put them why and look you don't so the key the key you don't want to take the key and then go to jail because even though you let yourself out with the key, you're still guilty of the crime. The get out of jail free card, it's a free pass. It's a purge night. Dude, that's actually pretty cool because I feel like there are white collar crimes that it's like I'm going to do this thing.

Get some insider trading going on. Insider trading or that can still hurt. Or just drive a hundred miles an hour for as long as you can until you go to jail. I'm thinking, let's say you rob a bank, right? Okay. It's FDIC. Sure. You know, it's good.

The insurance is going to take care of it. Nobody's losing their money. I'm taking the money and I hide that money. The money's never found, but I get caught. I go to jail, but bam i'm out i am free okay yeah there's no double jeopardy so when i take that money out of the hole i put it in i'm fine so let's say you're robbing the bank and you're getting the money but you you know this is a one-time thing right are you more polite on this robbery are you trying to do this as like

politely as you can because you really you're just trying to use up your get out of jail free card here you're not trying as you can? Because you're just trying to use up your get out of jail free card here. You're not trying to be a mean guy. You're just trying to take advantage. I think what's important here is that I succeed. Because I would imagine I can go to jail for attempted bank robbery as well. And that would not be worth it. That'd be like, nope, this guy didn't get any money. Let him off. That took some time out of my year. So I've got to really focus on a successful bank robbery, and I don't think polite is the way to go there. So would you bring a real gun? Oh, man.

I feel like I would. Or would you do the hand in the jacket? I would not do the hand in the jacket. It's a big gun in here. I want to believe I would do More the Like Hack Planning You know Like think

Ocean's Eleven Sure you would Your Ocean's Eleven Yeah I'm gonna need Some help guys They don't have Get out of jail

Free cards You just But they don't know Jason does Right They're all in jail And Jason's like Check this out

Suckers I get your portion Could you rob Would you What if you just brought Like a stick of dynamite Dale and Jason's like, check this out. Suckers, I get your portion. Could you rub? What if you just brought a stick of dynamite? Is that effective? Do you hold it up while it's on fire? No, no, you can't light it. Okay.

That is not effective. Hooray! I'll light this thing. Yeah. But then you just get tackled and like, I mean, it takes a while, right? Then they just lick their fingers. Yes. And or let's say I light it.

Okay. One minute from now, I have nothing else to my credit here. I can't get out of any situation. If I throw that thing at the safe and it blows up, now I'm just an unarmed man. Alternatively, what would we use the key on what would you if you could get into any one oh man can you use that on the international space station sure you just gotta get there it doesn't get you there i don't think you need a key to get in there there's no key on that door airlock oh no guys i, guys. I just got here. I left my key at home.

Oh no. Better turn this thing around. Yeah, I can't think of like a place that I'd really want to get into that is locked that I'm not supposed to outside of, again, some kind of vault. Which, it all comes down

to how would you like to get your money. And I guess in the end, I would rather get the money and not go to jail and have to get out of jail. I would rather... This has been a ride. I've enjoyed it. I feel like... I mean, security aside, you would have to find some place

where it would be super awesome to take a selfie, essentially. You're like... Not supposed to be here. Yeah, you're like, look who got into... I don't know where you're going to break in. I don't know. I can't imagine where you want to be. All I can think of is tourist places. You're like, look who got into Taj Mahal.

You're like, yeah, me too. I just went there. We visited. We had a tour set up. We had a tour guide. The things holding us back is not just a tour set up because all these places the things holding us back is not just a locked door for most of these places right it's like you said i could get right in the white house and then they'll be like yo uh sir please put your hands behind your back what sir did you take the key or the get out of jail free yeah all right uh let's take a quick break and then we'll go into that's a great question.

Oh, spit wads. I hope you don't watch YouTube because then you'll know that I am one of those two out of three men that experience some form of hair loss. But we want them to watch the YouTube, Jason. Yeah, but I look at my hairline, Mike. What do I do? You got to keeps it. Oh, I got to Keeps it. And Keeps offers a simple, stress-free way to keep your hair.

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All right, Christian from our Patreon community. Oh, thank you for your support. Yeah. Why is, what is that? Jointhespit.com? Is that the? That's one way. Spitwadsquad.com.

That's another way. Wait, that works too? Spitballerspod.com. Yeah. I'm really glad I brought that up. Why is the oscar meyer wienermobile the only food shaped vehicle and what food product deserves its own self-shaped vehicle oh a carrot for sure because that's how all of my drawings as a kid my race cars were always carrots they were all carrots they weren weren't actual carrots, but aerodynamics.

And so I just thought, all my cars, I was like, this would be the fastest car in the world. So you drew the Cybertruck. Right, exactly. I just drew a triangle with wheels on it, thinking that would cut through the wind. I mean, I think it would. I think your carrot design is pretty good. And it works out. I think the reason is- Unless it was a backwards carrot, in which case the aerodynamics would be very bad.

It would be bad. But the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, it can still fit in a lane. You need to have a food that can fit in a lane. Yeah. Like a corn on a cob mobile. It's not very wide. Yeah. That could work.

Does it get to spin as it goes? Like a cement truck? That would be all right. I, that could work. Does it get to spin as it goes? Like a cement truck? That would be all right. I don't know why. I guess that's how you eat it. Look, you'd say I don't know why. Yeah, why do you need a corn on the cob truck? Why is there a Wienermobile?

Well, for marketing. Oscar Mayer was smart to market with it. Corn doesn't need a real marketing pitch. We need to find something that needs a marketing pitch a brand is there a brand of you know like a snickers mobile you know something like that like squash oh because squash is the like the worst no amount of marketing is going to fix that no hot dogs are delicious yeah you know corn on the cob is great. No. No one wants squash? No one wants squash.

They would literally be trying to get that thing in an accident. It's like, get it off the road. I'll just T-bone it. Now, a T-bone driving down the road, that's delicious. A hamburger would be too wide. Yeah, that would not work. And hamburgers sell themselves. You don't need a vehicle selling a hamburger.

Yeah, so it's got to be thin. It doesn't necessarily have to be long. We might be in our head because of the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile. It's just got to be narrow. It could be like a gobstopper, just a big old circle. Yeah, like with a dome on top. Yeah. Now, does it have wheels or does it just roll?

It's one of those gyros from the Jurassic Park movies. It's just a hamster wheel. Yes, a hamster-powered. I think we solved that. Steve from the website, if you could keep only one monthly subscription of any kind, so all your TV and your music and your software and your newspapers, what would you choose? You only get one monthly subscription.

Let's name the important ones. Now, is your internet service a subscription? You bet it is. Then done. I mean, nothing else works without it, right? I mean, I'm not getting magazines in the mail. Well, I guess that question, it might not count because that's a utility. Because then you'd be like, is your electricity bill a subscription?

Oh, that's good. All right. So no utility. We have internet. Yeah. Okay. So you're talking TV, cable. Do you want to keep your cable?

Disney Plus. Spotify, Apple, music. All the different streaming service options, like Disney Plus or Netflix. Is there a software or a publication that you can think of that you can't live without? What's your longest running subscription? That's what I'm going to transition this question into. What is your longest running sub? Probably Netflix what I'm going to transition this question into. What is your longest running sub? Probably

Netflix. I think it has to be Netflix. I think mine is actually the Google Drive storage for email. Wait, you can pay Google? You can pay Google for more storage. I think that one's been free because you always needed

more. You know what I'm talking about, Al? My email is... Or like the iCloud subscription for storage. I think that one's been free because you always needed more. You know what I'm talking about, Al? My email is... Or like the iCloud subscription for storage. That makes more sense. What are you putting in your Google storage? Oh, huge files. Just huge files. I have so much data. It's just my

emails. I've got a lot of pirated movies. Braveheart. You could set your phone to also back up all your photos and videos and stuff my emails. Yeah, I've had... I got a lot of pirated movies. Braveheart. You could set your phone to also back up all your photos and videos and stuff to that drive. Neither of you pay for storage? Not on Google.

I pay for iCloud, yeah. Yeah, because Apple gives you nothing. What are you putting on iCloud? Well, but I mean, I've had a Gmail for... Why do I sound like Grover? Hey!

I got a question. How is this How is the answer to this question not Netflix That's what I want to know For anybody in the world How would it not be Netflix Because That's all of the best shows

I mean there's good ones elsewhere Yeah But like primarily They're the Shark in the coca-cola of the uh exactly they're the primary they are i think i like disney plus more though because but i'm i'm i'm also more of a movie person than a do you hear a big disney plus fan oh it's fantastic like i'm fine with it i because i can watch i can sit down and watch

not any Pixar movie. They do have a couple ones that you don't prefer, but almost any Pixar movie, anytime. I can watch the classic Disney cartoons. All the Marvel stuff is there, and I can sit down and watch a Marvel movie whenever. Yeah, that really fits. Disney Plus fits Mike.

Yes. They made it for me. I am right there with you. Like, I probably watch, if I'm sitting down by myself, I would go to Disney Plus because I would probably be watching a Marvel or something. Not me. Yeah. I think in the end, though, I got to take Netflix. All right.

Noah from the website, on episode 109, you taught me how to distinguish a pond from a lake. We're going to need a reminder on this one, Noah. Now, please help clarify the difference between the woods, a forest, and a jungle. Okay, okay. The jungle's very easy. Yeah. Is there a tiger in it? That's the answer.

Yeah, okay, okay. Is a tiger living here? Yes. Now, I've never seen a tiger in a forest. No, they don't live in forests. I've never seen a tiger in the answer. Is a tiger living here? Yes. Now, I've never seen a tiger in a forest. No, they don't live in forests. I've never seen a tiger in the woods. No, they don't live there. But tigers live in the jungle.

That's right. I'm pretty sure there's forest tigers. Well, how about panthers? Jungle. Panthers are jungle creatures. Exactly. Okay, so it's tigers and panthers. Yeah, you got to have both.

I got a problem for you now. Uh-oh. We can figure out the jungle with the tigers and the panthers. Yeah. But guys, bears live in the woods and bears live in the forest. And bears also live in the jungle book. Baloo does. Yeah, he's out of place.

Thanks for bringing that up. But the forest and the woods. Now, the woods are a little darker than the forest, right? Yeah. The forest has. The light is a little bit darker? Well, the forest is, to me, the trees are alive. Like, there's greenery.

They have actual leaves. And the woods, these are dead, spooky trees. What's the first thing that pops into your head when you think of the woods? Scary stuff. Winnie the Pooh going into the scary part of the forest is what. Yes, that's okay. That's literally what pops into my head. He's in the forest.

100-acre wood. And then when it gets scary, he's in the woods. Are the woods? Yes. So the woods just have to be haunted. A haunted forest. Or witches. Well, I would say witches, and that makes it haunted.

Would you not? You have to be a ghost to be haunted? Yes. You can't haunt as an alive thing. Even if you're a witch? Yeah. A witch can't haunt something? A wicked old witch?

No, they don't haunt because they're alive. Really? Yes. People can be afraid and think there is something haunting the woods. She may hang out in a haunted place because she likes the aura. But she's not the reason it's haunted. She's not the reason it's haunted. Because she's alive.

Unless she killed some things in case she is the reason because they're haunting it. Haunting is literally only for dead things to haunt. Correct. They come back and haunt something. You have to come back to haunt it. Yeah, you have to go somewhere to come back. Yeah. And that somewhere is be dead. dead i mean the definition of haunting is you gotta be dead a ghost manifesting itself at a place regularly oh okay that's fair uh when i look at haunted

you know frequented by a ghost i see that definition now a freak i like frequented right it's like it can't be a one-time thing it's not really haunted if there was like a ghost i see that definition now a freak i like frequented right it's like it can't be a one-time thing it's not really haunted if there was like a ghost and i don't live here i just visit frequently right um but the second definition is having or showing signs of mental anguish or torment and that's where i'm like a witch fits that bill but it that's just like that's number two yeah that's just like a kind of expression of the first like you're haunted by memories of your past because because it's expressed by the ghost visualization and a you wouldn't say a happy ghost is haunting they have to be an upset go

if a ghost is gotta have the english if it's if it's casper casper's not haunting anything casper's hanging out with you watching Netflix. That's right. But the woods are haunted. They can be. Are there woods that aren't spooky? There's woods that aren't haunted, yeah. But they're all spooky.

They're all scary. Honestly, I don't know how there's any green in a... There's not. There's not. Because the canopy blocks all the green, so everything underneath it is really dark and scary. So, question. Because I've gone camping, and I've had a... It's where the woozles live.

...blast in the day. And the humpfools. I've had a blast in the day. You know, we're out playing and make a campfire. You cook a lunch, and then at night, at night, does that forest possibly turn into the woods yes a forest can become the woods and then back into the back yeah all right man and then we need to okay yeah and then the the jungles i mean okay good all right uh thomas from what i'll it's good to know that

we're helping people um ponds lakes figured that out, and we nailed the woods, forests, and jungle. And I also learned about haunting. Haunting means. Yeah. Thomas from the website. Is it acceptable for a man to sit down to pee rather than standing up? Not out of necessity, but merely due to preference. Do the standers not know what they are missing,

or are the sitters the real psychopaths? Thomas, I am so glad that this question is being brought up here because it is 100% acceptable to sit down to pee. I am tired

of the macho masculinity of like, because I can stand to pee, I must stand every single time. Wasn't there like lyrics and songs? Yeah. You're like, what do you sit down to pee? Like, yeah, I do. I relax.

Okay. I have some me time while I'm taking a whiz. This year, and I would say that not just, you know, the months of the calendar, but this past 12 months, I can think of two, maybe three times I've stood to pee. Outside of a urinal, of course. I don't sit to pee in a urinal. That's difficult. Right.

That is very difficult to sit and pee at a urinal. Not impossible. Not impossible. Kington taught me that. You've got to go forward facing. You've got to straddle the urinal. You've got to hold on to the pipe at the top because you will fall. You can't be facing out.

No. That's a problem. But I am a proud sitter. Yeah, I knew you were going to say that. Yeah, because you guys are aware. I sit to pee every single time. Why would you ever not? Mike perfectly summarized my thoughts.

You guys both nailed it the the reality is just because you can doesn't mean you have to yes now in the woods i stand yeah yeah you don't want to be sitting in the woods i would recommend a strong stand in the woods right a power stance yes you get full power yeah one leg slightly rotating to keep an eye on everything he's a little bent ready to move You might need to be rotating to keep an eye on everything. Knees a little bent, ready to move. You might need to be spinning around. This could turn into the woods any minute. Any minute.

But no, I'm happy to sit. Happy to sit. There's nothing wrong with it. In a lot of ways, it's more work to stand because not only the standing, but lifting the seat. I don't want to touch the seat. I don't want to touch the seat. I don't want to touch the underneath of the seat to lift it and then have to put it back down. That's nasty.

The dribbles, the splashes. If you're telling me you have 100% success rate of never spraying outside of the water area of the toilet, you are a bold-faced liar. No. I mean, even. Ain't no cleaning. I'm not grabbing. Even army snipers miss afaced liar. No. I mean, even- Ain't no cleaning. I'm not grabbing- Even army snipers miss a few shots.

Right. Well said, Andy. Well said. I got nothing to clean up after I take a sit-down wee. Not to minimize, it is great to be able to stand. Oh, absolutely. It's a cool feature. If you are in a public restroom and you notice the seat's not really made for sitting-

If that's an option on a menu i'm definitely good i'm checking that box have you ever seen a seat that's so bad that you're like i might as well just pee on the seat i will say that i'm not hurting this situation if i do it i have been in restrooms that are like usually like the ones that don't even have the water toilets you know like at a rest stop where it's just like anything there's nothing i could do in here that's gonna make it i'm not touching anything in here so if that hurts you know you actually put the little uh cozies over your shoes before you go into those ones right sometimes there's so much on the floor i'm six to eight

yards away when i gotta take the piece so you know you know, I'm just adding to, you know, the mess. You're back against the door. That's right. He's just opening the front door and going. That's right. Well, they call this the bathroom. All right. It's time to draft.

The Spitballers draft. Oh, man. this is a hard one for me and i know like food drafts are usually my forte my specialty why don't you tell the people what we're doing but we're drafting overrated foods and i've got a problem here fellas i love most foods you know what i mean like um i am i'm what you call a not picky eater um i i just love food and i can appreciate all of them now i was able to come up with a list of things that i do think are overrated some of which i still enjoy um you know it doesn't mean just because it's overrated that it's a terrible food. Um, some of which are the worst and do not belong for human consumption. Um, some foods have too much hype.

Yeah. Some foods you feel a social pressure to adore and they, they don't live up to it. Right. So I'm going to take, I've got the one-on-one here. You do. I don't think this is the greatest Right. So I'm going to take, I've got the one-on-one here. You do. I don't think this is the greatest draft to have the first pick in. But when I think of overrated foods, and I've got to be honest with myself here, because I pretend to love this. I absolutely pretend to love this.

I've ordered it. Interesting. I've spent a lot of money on it. Yeah. And I've really enjoyed it because I do love butter. And butter is delicious. It's on my list. It's a good pick.

But lobster is like not. First of all, it's like the most expensive. You're getting market price. Just give me the crab legs that actually have flavor and are delicious. Lobster to me is overrated. And I have enjoyed a lobster, but it's supposed to be the best as seen by the price. You know what I mean?

Like the price of lobster says often it's not even a listed price. Right. Oh yeah. Market market price. Yeah. I got into trouble once on that. That was as a kid. I went to, uh, we went to a, this was a prom went to uh we went to a this was a prom date

so we went to a fancy steakhouse oh yeah and it said mkt and i did not know what that meant i had no mortal combat tournament i mean i just was like okay lobster is supposed to be great i'm gonna get the lobster and that that lobster was like 200 dollars. Don't be having you say it. What? Yeah. Did you have the means? I did. I had the means to take care of it. Because that would have been real bad. But I had the sweat when the bill came.

I was still in it. Thankfully, my parents had the means. Here's how you get out of jail. It's a fame card. Because I wasn't really. Wait, your parents were there? No, they weren't there. But they funded my life at that point. Yeah, he brought them on prom.

No, lobster's a great pick because it has everything that you need. The public says it's the best. You pay for it. Paying a lot of money for food that you're kind of like, eh, that's not a good experience. So I think lobster, I find crab meat to be 10 times better than lobster. Crab meat's delicious. It's awesome. Well, that's interesting then because I'm not, I have some picks here that I think I can get later.

The best part of this draft is we are simply making lots of people mad. Oh, yeah. The lovers of these foods. Yes. Yeah. But we're also speaking for some people. I think people who are out there and love lobster still understand. They're like, yeah, I get it.

It's overrated. I love it. It's overrated. I guess I'm going to follow in your footsteps here with another seafood because it fits the bill. It's ew. And it's oysters. I was hoping that came back to me.

Oysters are stupid. You eat them stupidly. They don't taste good, and you pay a lot of money for them. You suck snot out of a shell. Pretend it's good. But here's the best part to me. You get to pay for it. It's all about the flavor,

but everybody just pours Tabasco on top of it. So it's like... They do? Oh, yeah, that's super common. When you're eating an oyster, you just douse it in Tabasco, and then you eat the oyster. To burn the flavor off of the oyster?

To try to distract you from the fact that you're slurping up snot so i'm going oysters i can't say if they're overrated because i have never eaten an oyster well i don't recommend it i look it's not on my list of things to do it's not on my bucket list here's what we should do we should find out if al actually likes the foods we're talking about are you on board with lobster or oysters al i do not eat any seafood all right when he says he does not eat any seafood let me let you in i don't believe he has ever had literally ever anything from the sea is that is that true or false i was

tricked into eating uh calamari once i was told it was an onion ring. Oh, okay. Outside of one trick, you have literally not eaten anything from the water. You've never had a fish and chips bowl, like a basket. Correct. Which is foolish because there is wonder to be had. That's fair. I had the rule. I had the two to four leg rule for a while in my life.

But I'll eat some stuff out of the ocean. You've really grown up. Well, I eat sashimi now. Yeah. Alright, Mike, you've got two picks. Alright. I'm excited because your food takes are always, let's put it this way, interesting.

Yes. He's like, chocolate chip cookies. Oh, never. And ice cream. Never. Ice cream could be put on that list, but it's not on there. The first thing I'm going to go with, though, very overrated, and people, this one's tough, so I'll need an official ruling on this, because it's not a particular food category. It is pumpkin flavoring.

That's fine. Okay. That's totally fine. Because everyone loses their freaking mind for pumpkin flavor, and we need to pumpkin flavor it. It's not that it's bad. It's always pumpkin spice. Oh, yeah, because I believe it's not pumpkin. It's the taste of fall.

It's the spice you put on a pumpkin pie or something like that is what I've been told. But people lose their minds for it every single year, and we need to pumpkin spice everything. So it's just overrated. Do you like any pumpkin flavored? Do you like pumpkin pie? Pumpkin pie is fun. Pumpkin pie is delicious. But you don't need to make your cereal and your coffee and your ice cream.

I got you. So on my list, I have specifically pumpkin spice latte because people go nuts for that. Yeah, that's involved. What? It's not even as good as a regular latte. People are really not to be trusted in general. I mean, the McRib. People go crazy for the McRib.

Oh, watch your mouth. The McRib? Watch. Watch what you say, gentlemen. Hot garbage. Get out of here with the McRib. Watch. Watch what you say, John. Hot garbage. Get out of here with the McRib. Well, it's not my pick because I don't need it. Everyone knows that it's garbage.

People. Sometimes garbage is delicious. If it was on the menu all the time, you'd never eat them. Exactly. 100% true. It's a trick. So the scarcity of pumpkin spice is what gets you. Yeah.

It's this time of year I can get. It's like peppermint flavored stuff, which is great around Christmas. But you know what a McRib is? It has to be that over the year over the year they build up such a large amount of waste of meat waste

How can we mold this to look like ribs? This can't even go into the chicken nuggets. It's invented a new thing. They stockpile it and then they're like, it's time. We're running out of space. Unleash the McRib. Yeah, it is good. You're right.

Mike, you have another pick on top of pumpkin spiced. Oh, man. I have the picks that will upset people. Oh, certainly. I'm sure. I am ready for this. I need you to take something that's not on my list. I only have 10 things here, and so far everything's not on my list. I only have 10 things here.

And so far, everything's been I have far less than than 10. I can take. I don't think anything remaining on my list is actually going to be taken. But I'll just go with I'll go with Rice Krispie Treats. Rice Krispie Treats. Well, well, well. You were right. You will alienate the world on your draft.

Rice Krispie Treats are overrated because I could go the rest of my life and never eat a Rice Krispie Treat. Now, we'll say we recently made, oh, crap, I can't even think of the cereal. Oh, Lucky Charms. We did a Lucky Charms marshmallow treat. It was pretty good. But a Rice Krispie treat, that is an absolute waste of calories. My dessert takes are well known that people don't like them.

But there are other desserts that are actually good. Why would you ever eat a Rice Krispie treat? I can half get on board here because a generic, simple, normal Rice Krispie Treat, it's not good enough. It's sticky to touch, yada, yada, yada. Yeah. But when you make it out, there are some outstanding Rice Krispie Treats that have the right mixture and texture and it's soft and oh, yeah. But here's the thing. When you are going in for a new Rice Krispie Treat, you don't know.

Well, no. Like, there's a place here in the Valley. When you are going in for a new Rice Krispie Treat, you don't know. Well, no. There's a place here in the Valley. Andy knows what I'm talking about. There was a time where you didn't know that it was going to be one of your favorite Rice Krispie Treats. And thank goodness I made the plunge. But you are wasting calories. I don't think that'll be a very popular pick. People love Rice Krispie Treats.

Yeah, but they're overrated. You know what's overrated? My second pick. I agree. Your pick is going to be totally overrated there you go um snot was my first pick right oysters are you gonna go with boogers no i'm going with um sweat which is another way of saying my second pick is coconut water plain coconut water is the equivalent of drinking sweat. Okay. Now, you can flavor it. I'm with the take.

If you doll it up with pineapple-flavored coconut water, that's fine. But plain coconut water, people are attracted to it because they think it's the healthiest thing on earth. It's coconuts. It's on an island. Ooh, yeah. I love this sweat. I'm on vacation.

Yeah, I'm on vacation when I drink this. And then they take the first sip and they go, oh, gosh. I need to get back to work. I paid too much for this. I have to drink the rest of it. I've always thought that people pretend to like coconut water. Oh, they must. The people that say like, oh, no, this one's great.

And then I try it. I'm like, I hate you. I hate you for this. How many people pretend they like coconut water? Oh, it's popular. You know, I will say this. I think its popularity was several years ago. Because now, you know, trends and fads, they change quickly.

I haven't seen the coconut water rush recently. But a couple years ago, everyone was trying to peddle me that garbage water. It tastes like drinking sweat. I get it. It might be good for you. It tastes like drinking sweat. I get it. It might be good for you. It's like dirty water. Like, what's wrong with this water? Yeah.

So I'm going with coconut water. It's super healthy. Water's healthy, and water tastes great. All right. So I support your pick. All right. Your next one will be overrated. Thank you.

All right. So I've got two picks here. I really wanted oysters, but I'm going to hop right into one that just pisses me off. I mean, it's just the worst. Kale. Kale is awful. But who likes kale? No, no, no.

Kale's hyped up, man, as a health superfood. Kale goes in my smoothies. Kale goes in my salads. for food. Kale goes in my smoothies. Kale goes in my salads. People search out for kale because it's supposed to be the healthiest of all the awful things to eat. But is it? I don't care. I've tasted it. I've had the texture. I've had the flavor. It's disgusting. Kale is raised up to be this great thing to add to your diet. It's not. Because. I like a good kale salad.

You need. Yeah. Look. No, you don't. You're lying. No, I do. We get a little like a lemon vinaigrette on there. I bet you would sub that kale out for a variety of other greens if you had the choice. You wouldn't opt into kale.

I just opted into a kale salad the other day. Well, you said. You just said you love kale and hate Rice Krispie Treats. So that's where we're at. I'm going to stick with my opinions over here. Spinach is legit. Spinach is fine. Yeah. They're all fine.

Spinach, when you grew up, spinach was vilified as being like the grossest food. But I think cooked spinach is pretty gross. Cooked spinach is nasty. They needed an entire cartoon to get kids to eat spinach. That was the entire point of Popeye. Yeah. And then everyone got E. coli and we stopped eating spinach. Yeah, fair enough.

You've got lobster and kale, which honestly, I don't know how you lose this draft with those two. Those are both very overrated. All right. Make a dumb pick. Yeah, well, I've got, trust me, I've got one pick on here that is. I've got two that will be absolutely hated. I don't know if I'll get to them or not. Because I want to win.

Yeah, I do enjoy winning. I'm going to stick with winning. I'm going to take something that I've never tried before. I've never had. But it's overrated? Jason, how do you but it's overrated Jason how do you know it's overrated it's impossible to not be overrated 100 impossible oh I'll be the judge that no matter how good it is if it's the best thing I've ever had in my life still overrated

caviar because caviar is thousands of dollars for like a little ounce. There's no way. Who's eating these things? Who's eating caviar? But the thing is, it's lifted to this place in its pricing structure that says it's the best thing in the world. So when I talk about overrated, its rating, its score of what it's supposed to be has to be the best food in the world. It's rich people food.

Yeah, you would do really well on the worst things my butler does draft. Andy, have you ever eaten caviar? I have not. Owl, have you ever had caviar? No, sir. Yeah, you want to know why? I have never had caviar. Let me tell you why.

Not rich enough. Because you wouldn't spend thousands of dollars on a bite of a cracker. That's nonsense. There's no way it's not overrated. It's a fair pick. Just based on lore. I just don't know anyone who's ever actually... I've never had it.

Oh, you don't hang around billionaires? Oh, you got to hang out with Brooks more often. All right. It's back to me. That is correct. Everything from Starbucks. That's my pick. Oh, I love it. I love this pick. Everything from Starbucks. Oh's my pick. Oh, I love it.

I love this pick. Everything from Starbucks. Oh, you're going to. Overrated. I'm not on board with the cultish nature of coffee shops sometimes. Now, Dutch Brothers people, they fall into this category too. I don't know if that's a big chain or it's just out here, but I'm not going to wait in line for 45 minutes to get my overpriced coffee that I can make better at home.

So everything from Starbucks is overrated because you're paying too much money and you're getting too little. I love this pick so much, and I love that I didn't pick it because this is jumping into the fire. Oh, I'm a dead man. I'm a dead man. This is taking the little. How dare you offend my vintage double mocha latte. Yeah, you just took the pin out of the grenade and then you put that grenade in your pocket. Yeah, I did.

It's coming. As soon as this show comes out, you're going to get the business. But you're 100% right. They're all overrated. Yeah, it's fine. Starbucks is fine. It's coffee. It's like a sandwich they microwave for

breakfast and it's like oh have you had their focaccia look their breakfast sandwiches are they're good yeah they're good when you defrost them from their frozen imported whatever they are they're good but yeah i mean i guess i would say there's it is overrated but yeah i drink like uh i think i'm trying to think of the brand of coffee that I make. I'm like Kirkland. I don't know. I drink the most generic grocery brand coffee, and it's because all coffee. You should join a coffee cult.

Coffee tastes the same. It all tastes the same. All right, so I'm up. I get to close out my pick. You have inspired me, Andy. Uh-oh. You have taken a group. You went all Starbucks.

I will take Thanksgiving because the holiday sucks. The food sucks. Everything about Thanksgiving sucks. I have to hang out with people I don't want to hang out with. Mike may hit an all-time low on this one. And I will be very happy. Now, that's Thanksgiving foods, right? Thanksgiving foods, yes.

Oh, my gosh. Well, that is on brand. That is on brand. If he can draft people for his final pick, then we are good. I have eaten all the Thanksgiving food. I have had the, quote, good versions of it. Everyone, oh, but if you don't like it, you haven't had mine. Yes, I have, because they all suck.

Thanksgiving food is factually bad and very overrated, and I can live my whole life and never, ever eat Thanksgiving again. All right. You got one more horrible pick. Let's just finish this off. I can't wait to see what this is. He's ready to lean in. I'm going for a full 0% in the bowls.

Pumpkin spice, rice crispy treats, Thanksgiving foods. Continue. Overrated food. And now, this food, I like it. And I'm on here of, like when we're talking about ice cream, this is my flavor of choice. Okay. But you know what is overrated? Chocolate.

Chocolate is very overrated. Number one, white chocolate sucks. He just picked chocolate. Milk chocolate sucks. Dark chocolate is pretty good, but the way that this nation and the world looks at chocolate, which, by the way, chocolate is awesome. Chocolate tastes bad. You have to add thousands of grams of sugar to actually make it taste good.

This guy, man. If he had another pick, he'd pick sugar. This guy owns part of our company, Jason. So I am taking chocolate as a very overrated food. Oh, my gosh. It might be the number one, and I knew that it would come to be as my last pick. Oh, this is so good. It's so good that you are where you were on the draft, too.

So what is his entire team here? Pumpkin spice things, which people adore. Yeah, that's overrated. They flock to it. Rice Krispie treats. Delicious. Thanksgiving foods. Wonderful.

Chocolate. Awesome. All right. And Mike is fueled by the hate. Send your hate to me. All right. I have oysters, coconut water, and Starbucks, and I have a controversial, hilarious final pick.

I know Jason will win this draft. I might throw it with my next pick. We'll find out. I'm going to take something that will shock you. But we're talking about overrated foods. We're talking about taste. We're talking about taste here people.

I am drafting alcohol. I am drafting alcohol. Okay. I am taking alcohol because I get it. I know why people drink alcohol. Well, yeah, you don't. But you don't drink it for the taste. Correct. And you pay a lot of money for it.

And you do buy a lot of, there are a lot of drinks that are made for the taste. But the actual alcohol. are made for the taste but the actual alcohol it is really funny how much of alcohol is a quote unquote acquired taste which what does that mean you have to say that so much like i like wine i have i you know i i enjoy a glass of wine but of course of course when i first tried my first glass of red wine it was disgusting because it's gross it's fermented dead rotting grape juice it's like the pick is i'm allowing the pick it's i get it but if you had if you wanted to like double pocket grenade you should have just gone with beer like i could have if you're going oh my gosh going with the whole category you're right. But when you get the craft brew people and the beer snobs here.

I'll let you pivot. No, I'm not going to pivot. I don't want to score under Mike's 1% somehow. I'm going for negative. It's impossible, but I'm going for it. But you know I'm not a big beer fan. The best part of all of our tours and trips is when I have to smile and drink some beer somebody bought me and go, mmm.

All right. I have been inspired by you two gentlemen. I've been inspired by you guys. This is one of the worst drafts we've ever done. To show my true colors. Yes. To be bold. Be yourself.

Be who I am, even when it is against public opinion. Because he knows he's got this thing one without this pick probably weighs in a little um but you know i here's the thing if you want to talk overrated very very heroic for your last pick for you to finally throw your true colors yeah um you know caviar this is overrated and don't hear what i'm not saying it's delicious it's good okay but it is very overrated because it's at the near the bottom of the list of this category chicago deep dish pizza okay chicago deep dish pizza i just i mean it's great people are gonna it's awesome it's

great i love but it is over rated some of those deep dish pizzas are so it's like eating a brick of yes there's too much in it whereas i love chicago style thin crust pizzas I love Chicago hand toss pizzas I mean I still like a Chicago deep dish but it's overrated because it's made out to be that like when we went to Chicago for our when we were on a live tour for our show and we go to Chicago it was all about everything where did you try the Chicago deep dish pizza the real authentic Chicago like we literally while we were there we went to like three different places out of our way just to try all the different deep dish pizzas. They were all very good.

They were all very good. Very good. They were all good. They were not something so special that a city should be lifted up, and when we go there, we have to have that thing. I thought it was overrated. Yeah, I can get it. It's not the best of the pizza world

i never know like people ask what do you deep dish or thin like i think this is great i never know but i i understand gerardano's it because it's a uh it's it's the pride of the city it's so do would you not say the same exact thing about new york pizza as far as being overrated yeah because it's like are you it's like, are you? It's probably overrated. You know, what's funny is New York pizza is more quote unquote pizza to me. Right. Deep dishes.

Deep dishes. More of a dish. It's like a lasagna with like a dish. Like a deep dish. Yes. All right. This draft. Somebody has to win it.

So it'll probably be Jason. Nope. I will. When I hit my zero%, that's a win. Alright. What did we learn today? I learned that it

requires death to be a haunting. I did not know that. I thought it was just scary. That is not haunted. Well, that's not all you learned. You learned how to spell hamster. How did you say that? Hamster. But people say hamster.

People say it with the P. They don't say hamster. They don't do it on purpose. But everybody says hamster. I learned I want to raise my kids in the 80s and 90s, apparently. And this is not something I learned, but I hope it's a lesson that we taught to the world that men, you are not less of a man because you sit down to pee. I hope you learned that today.

Teaching the world important lessons on forests and woods and jungles. I also got some more stuff on my overrated food list. Oh, I am. Happiness, puppies, I've got it all. Thank you for listening, everyone. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to,

check out spitballerspod.com. Hey, Spitwads. Hey. The episode is over. Oh, no. Aw. And there may be others that you could listen to, but right now you should go to jointhespit.com because you can become an official Spitwad supporter of the show.

What? Yeah, you could, Mike. It's true. I've been there. We've made that a possibility at jointhespit.com, and you can add your contributions to the show. Have a would-you-rather question you want us to maybe put here and discuss? Spittoon!

Is that you spitting into the spit tank? That was the spit tank. You have access to the spit tank. It sounded like a spittoon. Wait, is that not a spit? That is the same thing, right? Oh, that's the same thing. Can we go to spittoon.com?

No, we don't own spittoon.com all right but you can go to join the spit.com and become a spitwad that is check it out excellent