Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 146: The Death of Pinocchio & Alternate Transportation Methods - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: April 19, 2021

On today’s show, we hear a stellar celebrity impersonation by Mike. We also discuss peeing in the front yard, revealing tattoos, having kids with the same name, and literally anything else you can think of. We close the show down with a draft of alternative transportation methods. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad! Visit us on the Web Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Instagram Subscribe on YouTube

Spit wads, you should not have to choose between a great shave and a fair price. Never, never. Spit wads. With Harry's, you will not have to do that. They give you a close, comfortable shave at a fair price. And that's two bucks a refill as well on the blades. I have been using Harry's for years upon years. Sounds like you're not choosing between those two.

Look, I am not choosing between them, and I love Harry's. I've used them for probably five years now. And listen, they're a young brand. I remember when I was a young brand. Yeah, that was a long time ago. They're a young brand, but they've embraced centuries of blade-making tradition. They bought their own factory. They make the best blades.

There are not gimmicks. They have fair prices. This is not a tough sell when I talk about Harry's. And you can go there right now. They're offering a starter set plus a free travel size body wash at harrys.com slash spitballers. harrys.com slash spitballers. New customers can get that special offer. Like I said, a starter set and a body wash at harrys.com slash spitballers. You'll get a five-blade razor, a weighted Truman handle, foaming shave drill, a travel blade cover, and a travel-size body wash. And there's never been a better time to try Harry's spitwads.

Go to harrys.com slash spitballers. Spitballers. What happens when three buffoons give life advice explore unrealistic situations and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve it's the spitballers podcast with andy mike and jason oh that was great. A zoom-a-zoom-a-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom. There's a lot to like about that. Shake your rump over there.

I won't lie. I was inspired a little bit by that. And then the zooms just kept coming out. I got stuck. I got stuck zooming. But you got to the booms. I was trying to be booming sooner, but there was a few more zooms than I was expecting. You don't need to explain yourself.

I like to go behind the music, behind the scat. Behind the thing you made up one second ago. Instant access, man. You kept the energy very consistent throughout. You didn't trail off. Thank you. You timed it up well. The rhymes were there.

They weren't complicated, but they were there. A little boom and a little zooming. A little zoom and a little boom. Spitballers, welcome in. Andy, Mike, and Jason. So excited to be with you for yet another important episode of the show. Would you rather? that's a great question important isn't that how you would describe this show yeah no absolutely when do we have our like

very important spitballers episode where like back when they had the 80s and the 90s sitcoms and that was when they when they advertised it ago on go, on a very special. And you knew like a really, really heavy topic that is like out of left field. It's important because it's a heavy topic. Like about pollution or something? Sure. Just something really important. Something that's like you're not going to want to miss this. Because they're touching.

And I think that's going to be on what episode is it that? Oh, the owl scat 180 something. I think it's 188. Owl. Can you vet that for me? No, no, no, no. It's 166. Don't let owl get off the hook.

He did it at episode 83. Is it 166? Yeah, that's right. And it's 83 times two. That will be important. I mean, every episode is kind of important. Owl was back there like, oh, okay. Getting 20 more. 20 more. Yeah. No no or we could do it a different way we could do the uh like the drama shows and

have a cliffhanger at some point oh maybe one of us dies off get killed gets killed off the show maybe may stay tuned you never know you just end with like the joke and they have to wait for next week for the punch line and then it will it will not pay off we have and they have to wait for next week for the punchline, and then it will not pay off. Have you ever had to wait a week for a punchline? We should try it. Knock, knock. Until next time. That's the end of the show.

That's it? Did you hear the joke about the pepperoni pizza? Uh-oh. Cheesy? We'll find out later. Okay. We'll find out in a little while oh that's it well that makes me feel really bad inside so we don't get the answer hold on what happened to the

pizza uh we'll find out in a little bit oh no you're gonna be able to find that joke again i see you closed the book well i mean that's the thing i don't know and you don't know that joke has gone forever maybe Maybe, maybe not. What happened to the pizza? There's only one way to find out, Mike. Keep listening. Add SpitballersPod on Twitter. SpitballersPod.com is the website.

Yeah, this is your idea, too. Let's get it going. Well, before we do that. Okay. Head over to YouTube.com slash Spitballers. You got it. Did you guys know that you're matchy matchy today? Oh, yeah.

We sure are. Wait, is that why you said you liked my shirt earlier? Of course it was. I didn't notice. Matchy matchy. Matchy matchy. Do you guys remember? Well, look, it says champ champ.

Yeah. And it's like when I was the back-to-back champ in our fantasy league. And Andy, you've had two championships. Do you? Maybe you never experienced it. I don't know. But I'll throw it out there. In junior high, later elementary, and maybe you can trickle that into high school.

The absolute terror and shame that matching someone else's shirt brought. Did you ever experience that where you show up? Full match? Someone else. Really just more of a shirt problem. You show up. Someone else is wearing your shirt. I did not ever experience that because my shirts, Mike, were.

Your shirts were hot? They were wacky. Okay. I mean. You They were wacky, okay? I mean... You were a wacky t-shirt guy? Were you wearing like Hawaiian shirts? No, usually like a trick cereal box shirt. Like the whole front is just the rabbit and the tricks.

I had a lot of cereal box shirts. I think this is bringing up some... So you were Mr. Wacky T-shirt. Yeah. Except you just said that you bought all your T-shirts at Hot Topic. That was probably Target. I mean, Mom bought them. I don't know.

I don't know where she. So wacky, my Target shirts. What are you talking about? Well, my point is this. They were shirts. You hit the tie dye? They were shirts. You ever matched another person's tie dye?

That no one would wear that was the point is like they were so stupid that i never had to worry about running into someone else in the cereal box t-shirt because they'd be like what a loser and you never had that happen i can't recall any of that no oh man i've done the shoe match though the shoe match was it really just any match where it's noticeable. For some reason, we are programmed that you should feel extreme shame and embarrassment when that happens, even though... There's only a few stores that all the moms are shopping at together.

We all shop at the same places. Are they all meeting each other? No. Okay, your kid's got that. No, I'll get this thing. No, that's funny, though. It does bring back some... It was the worst.

It just brings back all the memories of being a grade school kid and putting so much pressure on myself to dress a certain way or wear a certain thing because I thought that would make people like me. I mean, that's the 100% truth. Get the shoes for Christmas that everybody else has. I remember trying to get my mom to buy one of these cool jean jackets. Oh, yeah. But we couldn't afford a good denim jacket so she got me this puffy denim jacket and it a puffy it was because she wanted

it to actually be able to be a jacket like the other denim jackets didn't really keep you warm no they do not so she's like if we're gonna get you a denim jacket it has to be this one will keep you hot with embarrassment yes it was the worst because it was so puffy compared to all the cool kids and i had to wear it trying to be cool it was completely the opposite it had the opposite effect i was an imitator with a puffy well insulated denim jacket. It was awful. But yeah, that is, my kids go to a charter school where they have to wear the same outfit.

They got unis. And they've been freed of that world. Yeah, there is. No self-expression allowed, children. You all look like nerds, so there's no one that's worse off. That's right. All right, no pop culture anywhere all right we're moving on would you rather they have an occasional casual friday type of thing

is have they expressed like there is slight similarities in the uniform that kids take a liberty of modifying, and that's the cool thing to do. They are technically allowed to wear either a blue or a white shirt. And they have the crest on them or whatever. Whoa. But they are different. So like, but the-

Are you in a blue mood or a white mood when you wake up? That's it. So the Crips are in existence at your school. It's a big gang. Yeah. At this charter school. It's a big gang. Yeah. At this charter school. At this charter school, there is... They're gang banging.

That's right. There's the Latin gang, and then there's the gang that does all of the advanced math, and they compete. Now, by Latin, you mean the Latin speaker. The Latin speaker. No, no, no. That's... Yes.

Ipso facto patronus. All right. Star girl from Patreon with the would you rather question. Would you rather all three of your kids share the same name as your oldest child or share the same name as your wife? So all of your kids have the same name. Right. Okay. They just overcomplicated it.

You would share the same name with your name. Right. Okay. They just overcomplicated it. You would share the same name with your wife. Right. But would you rather all three of your kids share the same name as your oldest child? I'm just trying to tighten that up. Yeah. All kids are the same name. All kids are the same name. That's right.

Billy. Billy. Billy. Yes. All three of you, come over here. Okay. Or you have the same name as your wife are we allowed to nick i mean can you have variants here what can we choose a long name and then you know you've got the three versions of it you have to be the same apparently we don't even get

to choose the name because we have the oldest child or the wife we already know the name okay it's just a matter of okay i got it would we uh would we want that thankfully my twins um i i have i had twins first boy and a girl and thankfully jersey is like one minute older than jason because this would be a problem for me if my kids were all jason jason jason and i'm also jason that would be youable. Bet you have three jerseys. That's right. Now, this reminded me of a story. In elementary school, I had made a new friend, and I was-

Congratulations. Yeah, look, it was rare. Big deal. It was a big deal. With that face. And I had to pick up the telephone to call my friend to see if he wanted to come out and play. He didn't live within a bike distance, as you would say. Yeah, the radius.

So I had to call. So I called the house. I'm like, hey. It's my prepubescent voice, though, so it's still very high. Hey. Yeah. And I say, hey, is Richard there? And they hit me with, senior or junior?

I'm like, huh? You didn't know? No, I had no idea. Did you go with senior? Oh, I went with senior. Oh, no way. So you got the dad. So his dad jumps on the phone, and his dad wasn't the most pleasant person in the world.

Great sense of humor on that guy. Oh, yeah, nope. Did you end up having to have him over to play? I did. It was really weird. We were trying to get G.I. Joe's going. So you guessed, and you guessed senior. Because I had never experienced this.

That is a great story. This was like fourth or fifth grade. I'm like, what? How is there more than one of them in your household? That's hilarious. I want to know what Mike thought the junior was, if not the kid. Is their dog also named this? He was just learning.

My wife's name's Brianna. so maybe my name could be Brian. No, no, it has to be the same. Yeah, you would be Brianna. It has to be the same. You don't have to worry about the... So the real question here is about confusion. Yes, exactly. Do you want to be confused when your name is called, or when your wife's name is called,

or do you want the kids to be confused whenever you're trying to talk to any one of them i don't want my kids to have the same name it's easy to have me have the the same name as the wife because most of the people that are talking to me they don't need to say my name my my wife and i we don't say each other's names all the time it's just like hey honey whatever the only problem here is that my name now becomes Mommy because that's my wife's name in the household. So it's like, would I then have to take on Mommy? I mean, it is what it is. But I was thinking there could be an advantage to this

because anytime someone says my name... Ooh, you can check out. Nope. If not me... Oh, I thought you were talking to... It's the other one. Yeah. No one talks to me anymore, ever. Ooh, you can check out. Nope. It's not me. Oh, I thought you were talking to... It's the other one. Yeah.

No one talks to me anymore, ever. Would it be convenient somehow for all the kids to be named the same, or it's just like, hey, Brian, dinner time. Not if you didn't have like a one, two, three system. If they're all just the same name, then your kids are pulling that exact same stunt i just laid out yes they are you weren't talking to me i thought you were talking to them no way the name i take the name of my wife uh they still pull that crap and they all have individual names in my house like i i

didn't think you were talking to me do not even start with the same letter. Call me Tiffany. All right. Delanitor from the website. Never heard that name before. Would you rather have skin that changed color based on your emotions or tattoos that appear all over your body depicting what you did yesterday? Oh. That's funny. That is interesting. This is very Moana, right?

He's got the tattoos that are showing what he's done and been through. But it's usually heroic things that he has done. It's not- Like a long timeline, not like a short timeline. It's not, I had a cheeseburger yesterday. This is me napping over here. Check out this bicep. Hey, nice arm sleeve Jack in the Box tacos.

You'll notice the c-pap machine connected right here okay you told us you didn't nap yesterday oh see that's the real issue here is exposure exposure to whatever happened where it's like oh no you you went through jack in the box and no i didn't why'd you get a tattoo of going through jack in the box then well the emotions expose you too, because Mike can try to placate somebody in an elevator and just be like not talking. But we all know Mike is getting angrier and angrier

at the small talk in the elevator, and he starts to turn redder and redder and redder. We all know that the color of anchor is red. Yes. I am just neon fluorescent red. 80% of the day even when i'm sleeping i mean pretending about your emotions is one of the key parts of life the truth is that would only help mike because if he doesn't want to talk to someone and now he's turning red like a highlighter although although in in in reality in genuine real life which obviously

this question is for if you started turning red when i get in the elevator and you start turning red i'm going to get out no i'm going to see if you're all right oh i'm going to say oh dude like are you choking which will only make it matter that this stranger is getting involved in his life yes jeremy is or owl is sending me pictures of anger from inside out. No, that is what comes to mind. That is indeed what I would look like. Well, Jason, your emotions could, you know, we all sit down at a restaurant,

and you have a hard time picking what you want on the meal. Maybe somebody else gets something that looks a little nicer, and you start to turn a little green. A little jealous, a little food envy, as I call that. What is the color of happiness? Yellow. Yeah, that's kind of where I went, too. Like a bright sun, you know?

The colors have been chosen by Inside Out, Andy. Happiness was yellow? Joy was yellow. Oh, okay. That makes sense. You got the yellow smiley face. That makes sense. It's bright.

It's the sun. The sun is supposed to be happiness. Is there an emotion for having to pee though it's also yellow yeah yeah but there's only so many colors yeah man uh the tattoos would be that would be tough i mean maybe you'd live maybe you'd live a better life if you knew that you were on display your tattoos were always showing up that's. Do we get to pick the location of the tattoos here or those also? I imagine it's a full body and randomly randomly assigned. Then give

me those emotions, baby. I'll wear my emotions on the sleeve. No problem. Jason's going to show up. Jason, it's 110 degrees. Why are you in a turtleneck? Don't worry about it. You are sweating a lot, man. Why are you in a ski mask, man? All right.

Dalton from Patreon, one of our supporters over at Join the Spit. Would you rather beat Al at Liar Liar or get $10,000? Oh, man. I don't like this question. What a dumb question. Who put this question in? Al put the question in. Al's so dumb.

All right. Would you rather beat al at liar liar or get ten thousand dollars here's the thing i have we can take the ten thousand from his salary i have struggled through it but i have never beat al and i'm doing all right i'm doing you know i'm not happy about that but i'm doing all all right. I'm not dragging through the days blue-colored because I'm sad, because I've never beat him. But I would take $10,000, please. I think I'm going to take the cash here and always lose to Al.

Oh, wait. Is the question we always lose, or we're trading one victory for $10,000, or we're getting one or the other. Here's one of many problems with Al Borland. Many. Let's talk about it. And the list is really, it's long. Extensive. One of the biggest problems is that he is a delight to whoop up on in something.

Yeah. Because of the manner by which he wins. Oh, it's the worst. When he wins, little, big big doesn't matter yeah this is a guy this is the guy that's going to you know showboat on you he's gonna put the ball he's gonna hit the pickleball shot between his legs now he's gonna talk about being the champion he has always said this to his credit and i'm saying he says it to his credit he wants credit when he says this about himself he says that he talks smack even when he's losing so he doesn't feel bad talking smack when he's

winning and then in that in that terrible voice so uh that is his i'm just saying like in the jeremy the owl voice hey guys i'm doing really good He puts a question like this in, highlighting his victories on our show. He's talking like this for the rest of his life. I win another game. That's what you get for putting this question in here, just taunting us. This is a taunt question. That's why you put four questions in today, because you knew this wasn't a real one. I'm sorry.

I won't do it next week. he's got a little list this time uh kyle from patreon would you rather all people only be able to use the word literally correctly or never be able to use the word um um is not a word um is not a word but it's really annoying. Um is a sound. That shouldn't be a word. Like, you don't write... Give me a... Nobody writes um in a sentence. There's nobody that went out and, you know, you've got a quote in a book, and it's like, and the character

said, I went to the store, comma, um, comma... No, they do. They write them into stories. Um is just filler. Yeah, that's all it is, is you are letting people know that you're thinking, or you're pretending that you're stories. Um is just filler. Yeah, that's all it is, is you are letting people know that you're thinking or you're pretending that you're thinking. Um. Or you're meditating.

Um. Oh, okay. Your ums, but not your ohms. Do we have a definition of the word? Yeah. Is there an actual definition? Yeah, expressing hesitation or positive speech. Anyway, um, where was i so here's the issue

with the first part and i wanted to look this up because i i knew this to be true and it is true literally you know people say i i literally was on a roller coaster to hell and you're like no you're no you weren't you're metaphor metaphorically. Here's the deal with literally, though. They have literally changed the definition. Merriam-Webster now has a definition for literally that means, in effect, virtually. So definition one is in a literal sense or manner. And definition two is the exact opposite. No.

Yes, that's real. That's not how language is supposed to work. We're supposed to change if we're using it wrong. The word's not supposed to change. Well, words change for purposes. Not words that are literal. Purposes of slang. Like, oh, man, that was bad.

Yeah, right. And we know that in the vernacular i'm actually saying that was good but you can't change the actual definition that's what i'm saying you shouldn't be able to change the actual definition and if there is ever a word that you slang and it's not funny if there's ever a word you shouldn't be able to change it is literally literally yeah it's literally literally because it it and it's not like it means this is terrible something else the way that there are words that have completely different meanings this is this is just meaning the opposite did you mean precisely so that's the informal definition

used for emphasis to express strong feelings while being while not being literally true what what I was literally blown away by the response I got. No, you weren't. What if precisely? Yeah. We did that with precisely, and it just means like, oh, I got a precise measurement. Oh, what was it? No, no, no.

I have no idea what it was. Then why would you say you got a precise measurement? Oh, I'm using it in the way that means that there is no way to know exactly what this means. It's between 2 and 52. Right. Precisely. Precise. It's so stupid.

What have we done? Words used to matter. Yeah, I don't even know if I have a choice there. I guess I don't like the word um very much. It would help us all. As a podcaster and having done public speaking like that is the one word of doom like people talk too fast they fill it in with um i've made that mistake a million times we all have out of embarrassment go back to the beginning of this show i'm sure

all three of us have dropped the nominate so i hate that word because of it what are our biggest filler words um i think so comes to mind well the word like when you finish a sentence with so we're all right oh all right that's a good yeah i guess that's a transition word for me well so is so right like yeah you finish so i'm gonna start talking now right and and look oh that's that's how i that's how I grab the attention. Look, look. That's our emphasis word. Stay with me. Look, look.

Yeah, if we could all get rid of the word um, it would be more concise. But now that we have... But what are you going to say in between moments? I will give very awkward silence. But now that we have changed the word literally in the dictionary, I think we need to fix this.

This needs to be repaired. Yeah, we'll work on it. I'm literally going to do that later. Spitwads, this year, spring's going to hit a little different because we are finally getting back outside seeing friends again. Ooh. Yes.

I like friends. But no matter where the adventure takes you, bring comfort and style with Mack Weldon along for the ride. Mack Attack. Trust us. Your closet is going to thank you. Andy, you have spoke on Mack Weldon for years. They are like one of your absolute favorites.

I spent way too much money before they became a sponsor and gave us some free stuff. So, yeah, I've bought a lot of Mack Weldon. It's awesome. Dude, I got the Vesper polo, which, you know, I'm a polo guy. You're a polo man. This is polo season. And the dry knit t-shirts, I run hot. Heck yeah, man.

Look, Mack Weldon is great. Whether it's socks, shirts, hoodies, underwear, polos, active shoes, they got it all. You're going to look great. You're going to be comfortable. They've got a wide range of customized fabrics. They've got a Weldon Blue membership program. You've got to check them out.

It's comfort and class. You're going to look good. You're going to feel great. Get 20% off your first order. Go to MackWeldon.com slash enter the promo code SPITBALLERS. That's MackWeldon.com, promo code SPITBALLERS for 20% off. Mack Weldon, reinventing men's basics. That's a great question.

Beverly from the website submitted this question. She says, if you were trapped inside a board game, you know, like Jumanji, which one would be best and which one would be worst? Ooh. So do you want to enter a world of real estate with Monopoly? Well, that's not just... In real estate, it could be very amazing, but it could also be really rough. Risk would be a bad time.

Oh, yeah, because you're on board. It's all world war. That's the entire game of Risk. Clue would also be a bad time, right? Maybe. There's been a murder and you might be the murderer and you don't even know you might yeah that's true i guess if you didn't know you were the murderer but clue i mean if you're in clue that's just a big escape

the room like that would be really fun okay i guess the murder if you're plumb if you enter clue that's the most fun because the murders are already taking place. You're not at risk of being murdered. That's true. So you're just trying to... Someone might be at risk of me murdering them. That's basically just a murder mystery party. Yeah, actually, this sounds great.

I'll bet they have real life clue. They do. Oh, man, we should do that. They have the murder mystery party. Have you ever done one of those? I have not. I have. I have not. And not and you know what extremely fun to dress up for extremely fun okay so here's another line of thought on some of these video games right you drop into we loved red dead i love zelda you know final fantasy these are all great wait these are only board games

if you were trapped inside a board game oh all right but you would please continue your literal thought i i thought it was just games in general but my my thought was just like when he heard jumanji which ironically the new movies is a video game but uh you know i was just saying like that was for the millennials it seems like updated it seems like fun and you want to be in Candyland, Jason? If you could actually die in reality. Candyland, oh my goodness. You have my attention. You had my attention at Candy. It would be incredible until the ultimate frustration of playing Candyland

where you're just, it's complete chance of drawing cards. What about chutes and ladders, Mike? That would be a living nightmare because you'd be on your way on this journey and constantly sliding down these ladders. And what sucks is, is the part where you're receiving a punishment, something negative has happened, but it's so fun, but you're going down a giant slide. Yeah. That sounds awesome. I think the best game, and this might sound, I don't know, corny, but the game of life would actually make a lot of sense. You get a lot of big life events happening.

You get to have kids and have them go to college and get married and do all these fun things. You might end up being a bankruptcy or two over the course of this game. But, I mean, wouldn't that be the best thing to hop into is just like, oh, good. If I had to live in a board game, at least I'm still living my life. You just want to replicate yourself? I just want a life, man. Well, is there something better than this life? Well, that just is sad.

It feels really sad. It could be worse. You're drawing a profession out of a card. You could end up a plumber. You guys have to convince me that there is a- Not that there's anything wrong with that. You could end up a plumber. You guys have to convince me that there is a... Not that there's anything wrong with that.

You guys have to convince me that there is a better board game than this life in order for me to not choose life as the board game that I would go to. Yeah, Clue sounds awesome. Did you forget about Clue? I didn't forget about it. But it was like... So this means the game is over, I come back. Yes.

Oh, well, then I'm in. Okay, you convinced me. What's the worst game? Have you seen Jumanji? I'm officially... Risk, Settlers of Catan, one of those games. Settlers of Catan would be okay, but it would be a dredge. I'm going to say Operation.

Battleship? I don't want to go in any part. I don't want to be the one being operated on. Okay, Operation's pretty good. Either way, it's a bad situation. You're just thrust into an operating room. With a lot of openings that you need things taken out of. Yeah.

And I've got like, don't I have crazy things inside of me? I don't remember what the objects were. You got a wishbone in there. Yeah. Butterflies in your stomach. Or if you're the surgeon and you just miss, you get electrocuted. Oh, yes. Exactly.

All right. Brian from the website has this great question. If Pinocchio says my nose will grow, what will happen? Nothing. Right? Well, no. I mean, his nose grows when he lies. But he's not lying here.

He's saying my nose will grow, and it will. Yes, okay. So, therefore, nothing happens. But what if he says my nose will grow right now? Now? Can I fix the problem to be the conundrum it was meant to be? Yes, please do. That's a way better conundrum.

That must be a philosophical question about Pinocchio. My nose will grow right now. My nose will grow right now. My nose will grow right now. If he's telling the truth and it will grow, it doesn't grow. But then if it doesn't grow, oh my goodness. Yeah, so if he says it's going to grow right now, he's telling the truth, but it only grows when he's lying. Correct.

Which means it's a lie, which means it grows. Which means he's not telling the truth. It's very clear what will happen. Are you guys... Oh, let me know. He'll explode. Yes, that's right. The nose will shrink.

His head will explode. You do not want this to happen to Pinocchio. You can only do this one time. And there will be no more Pinocchio. Never let him say my nose will grow right now correct yeah um Terry from Patreon Steve Irwin all right has you pinned down in a headlock what facts does he tell the audience about you your behaviors and your habitat so shout out to the great Steve Irwin yes uh but But now he's got you in a headlock.

Oh, boy. And Mike does such a great Irwin. Oh, he does. We've always said he does such a great Steve Irwin. Good night. Good night. Just prepare yourself. Look here.

We have a middle-aged man whose beard is graying, and he spends too much time sitting around doing nothing while he should be getting things done around his house. Yeah. Man, that's good. Dang, that was great. That was way better than I thought. I thought I was putting you on the spot in some kind of danger zone,

and that came right back at me. Well done. Oh, my goodness. That was outstanding. Well done. The studio my goodness. That was outstanding. Well done. The studio audience was a big fan. He's covered in tattoos. Look at the markings.

Look at the markings. Beautiful. You can tell how old he is from the wrinkles around the eyes. Looks just like a crow's foot. Oh, my goodness. Any more to add? I don't want to go on if there's more. Lyle from Patreon.

At what age is it unacceptable for my child to pee in the front yard? I don't want to answer this question. Oh, well, here's the answer. I've got so many problems with this question. Oh, yeah. The kids are peeing many problems with this question. Oh, yeah. The kids are peeing freely? Not the kids. Oh, yeah.

Dad's peeing freely? I found myself to be very impatient at this age of my life. I was going to say there's a range here. Also with a tiny tank, apparently. That's part of the problem. There is a range where it's unacceptable. It's not an age where it's unacceptable because once they get to a certain age where it's they're a little bit older and it's like no no no no you cannot do this out

in public but once i get past a certain like you know the the the i don't know it's like up to like mid-20s then it's like all right you're back you you're allowed again this is fine i think the the issue just comes down to how are you trying to hide behind a shrubbery? Wait, this does say the front yard. Yeah, but are you making an attempt to give a little bit of privacy? Wait, the front yard? Yeah, I don't know. At what age is it acceptable to pee in the front yard?

You've never peed in the front yard? I have never peed in the front yard. No, none of my kids have ever peed in the front yard either. Why? I'm just, here, help me out. Why? I've got a three-year-old, okay, where it's acceptable he can't. Why would he need to pee in the front yard?

Well, I would counter that with, because you're so surprised by the front yard, but clearly you were okay with the backyard. Yeah, there's a little bit of privacy there. Right, but if you're in the front yard and you just go behind a bush, I mean, obviously a three-year-old is just, they're just going to do what they want to do. Well, everybody knows that it's fine in a dental office parking lot. We've established that on the show before.

As long as you're on a phone call. As long as you pretend you're on a phone call and make sure that nobody can sneak up on you it's totally fine um but no i do find myself more tempted now in my in this stage of life you're just trying to connect with nature yeah i mean it just seems like such a hassle to go inside it's just a hassle yeah i'm in the middle of a project i can't the side yard's right there man i can't imagine doing that in the front yard i'm trying to walk myself through it like man i really gotta go pee the front yard is i can't imagine that the front yard is just like well hey neighbor because here's the problem you're like oh hide behind a bush thinking about a bush in my front yard i've got a i've got a big bush in the front yard and um and the problem is

what's the problem the problem here uh the problem with my big bush here is that um i've got neighbors on the left i got neighbors on the right. I've got neighbors on the right. I've got neighbors in front. So there's really no... It's like if I go around the side... There's not enough protection. You've got to be inside the bush. Yeah, this is...

There needs to be a full hedge. Yeah. Yeah. As I always say... I cannot imagine... You've never peed in the front yard, have you, Mike? I've peed in a front yard many times. Really let's go college but why am i why are you doing this man this would this is looking for attention no this is more like it's it's night and we're hanging out in the front of the house

and we're teenagers okay i'm still not quite there. Darkness helped. That was the finish. That was the finish line. Imagine you're in the front yard. And you're a teenager. You're with your friends. You're all having a good time. And you have to go to the restroom. What are you supposed to do other than just pee on the porch?

Why is it the porch? You go to the side of the house. Darkness is the real friend in this situation yes i could see i could see a front yard darkness is the descriptor of this situation okay in more ways than one all right last one debbie from twitter if you could delete one part of getting ready in the morning which one would it be oh if you could i assume you get like you're deleting it but you get the benefits of it yeah in which case i would delete a shower as much as i enjoy it it takes up too much time water effort water i mean look if i did you know that you can shorten your showers jason i

you've heard tail i've heard tail and i've tried but it's not enjoyable um But my point is, if I could just wake up fresh, clean, smelling of soap and shampoo. Smelling of lilac and butterflies. I love the scent of butterflies. What does a butterfly smell like? It smells so good. Oh, it smells so good. Smells like pollen? Smells like pollen and wings flapping in the wind.

Well, see, the shower is the key to getting my hair done in the morning so if I delete the shower I'm not going to have freshly washed hair which means that I will need to take a shower to be able to do my hair but that's why I asked if you get the benefit of the thing you're deleting you don't get the benefit of like having your hair pre-styled yeah you can't say

okay I don't have to shower but my hair's done but my hair is done. Because you could skip the hair done part. Yeah, they're separate. I concur. I agree. But when I wake up having not showered, I cannot style my hair.

Correct. Like it's just, it's got the cowlick or whatever. It's matted. But after I shower and dry and whatever, I still have to style my hair. It's just I can do it now. So that's what I'm saying.

Like, I would still style my hair. My hair wouldn't be automatically styled from the shower, but I would be able to. See, I was thinking I might skip the hairstyle part. Then it could just, you know, every day it's just done. That would be pretty nice. That is pretty nice. I'm skipping the poop. Okay.

That's a bad choice. That's some pretty nice. That is pretty nice. I'm skipping the poop. Okay. That's a bad choice. That's some new time. He's going to really build up. Well, no, I get the benefits. I know. I know. The poop vanishes. But, I mean, sometimes you don't know.

It could be fine. Have we thought about creating a way to let your body do that while you sleep? There's a bag for that. Oh, okay. It don't smell the best. It doesn't smell like butterflies. Mike might be on to something here because if you could truly delete your morning deuce. Your BM. Then that means you can eat anything.

You want to eat something spicy? You eat something spicy. You might not be able to wait till morning in that situation. Might not. You might not be able to skip the old morning. anything the night you want to eat something spicy you eat something spicy you might you might not be able to wait till morning in that situation might not you might not be able to skip the old morning you might have a midnight the the use um i think that that that's not a bad idea oh my goodness what is happening um you guys want a draft yes please spit wads is there something interfering with your happiness or preventing you from achieving your goals?

BetterHelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. You can start communicating in under 48 hours. It's not a crisis line. It's not a self-help. It is a professional counseling done securely online. There's a broad range of expertise available, which may not be locally available in your areas. The service is available for clients worldwide.

You can log into your account anytime, send a message to your counselor. Ladies and gentlemen, look, I have had counseling many, many times in my life, many years of my life. It really does help to talk to somebody when you need to do that, and BetterHelp is making that easier than ever. They are committed to facilitating great therapeutic matches, so they make it easy and free to change counselors if needed. It's more affordable than traditional offline counseling.

Financial aid is available. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Ballers. That's BetterHelp.com slash Ballers. Join the over 1 million people who have taken charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp. And Spitballers listeners, get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com. That's BetterHelp.com. H-E-L-P dot com slash ballers.

The Spitballers Draft. All right, we are drafting. Now, we're drafting transportation methods, but let me explain this. Yeah, I need explaining to me. I mean, the description sounds kind of boring, but it's so not boring. We are drafting ways to get around. Now, there are lots of different ways to get around. You cannot draft cars, trucks, automobiles. Correct.

These are the only four methods of transportation you get to use for the rest of your life. That's right. You got to think about from now to the day that you leave this earth. This is the only way that you can travel. Yes. And you can, everybody can walk and run by default. So those will not be drafted either.

You can't draft cars, automobiles. You cannot draft walking, running, but now you're picking four ways, four ways to get around. And I, I find myself now,

Mike has the first pick, but I find myself with this dilemma of practicality and enjoyability. How much will I use it, but how fun will it be? And then obviously I'm competing with you guys. So, Mike, you have the first pick. Now, I got the impression earlier today that you were pleased with that. You have something that you want. Well, it is, there's no silliness involved.

This is, like, if you could pick the transportation method, I had to pick four, and I could still pick cars, trucks, whatever I wanted. This would still be my first pick because this is the dream. Stilts. I know he's going to draft stilts. He's drafting stilts. Electric stilts.

Jason, hopefully he doesn't. It is the dream of this is the absolute fastest to get anywhere, other than you're trying to go to a different city. But within city travel, a helicopter is the fastest way to get anywhere. And it's super dope. You're like, I got to go jump in my chopper. Get to the chopper. And I'm going to fly downtown.

Something that would take a 60-minute car ride is now a 10-minute helicopter flight. Well, I'm ashamed. This was not on your list. Yeah, it's super the number one. It's super the number one. I mean, it's super the number one, and I've got a list of like 12 things that I didn't even write helicopter down. Yeah. I didn't think big enough.

No, you didn't think big enough. Well, that's why I tried to clarify. Here's the thing. I basically said without saying, you guys know I'm going to draft helicopter, and you're cool with that. And I was cool with that. You want to know why I was cool with that? Because there's really only two things that are on that tier.

No. I got the second pick. So we're going to get these two mamma jammas out of the way and leave all the little stuff for Andy. Cause I'm taking an airplane. I want to go on vacation. I want to see the world before I die. I'm going to get in an airplane and I can travel. Enjoy your cross country trips, Andy. Well, this is unfortunate. Um, so helicopter airplane, I have to go a completely different way. I cannot win against you with practicality of these objects.

Okay. So I'm going to take things that I think, you know, look, if cars are banned from this universe, you know, I think people are going to think a little bit more outside the box about how to get around. I think we all know where I'm really talented. So I'm going to take zipline. Oh.

Zipline. I'm going to take zipline. Oh, zipline. I'm going to be zipping around. That's going to be a high tower you have to climb. If you're going for a distance, you know, this is 20 minutes away. Yeah, you can add stairs into your mode of transportation. We'll allow that for free. That's right. Stairs slash zipline. The technicalities behind ziplines, problematic.

Right. But when i'm on it that sounds a lot of fun okay oh it's ziplines are incredibly fun and so now we've got to you know what's fun jason chopper helicopter and airplane right yeah yeah you know what you guys have it figured out to get from one place to another but the landing in a practical sense you're not going to be able to put that plane down in the middle of the city that's true that is true and mike you've got it a little bit better but that helicopter you could have some problems as it currently lies getting to the airport is a problem okay like i i will admit that i go from airport to airport and so getting there is good.

I've got I want to go on a trip. So I've probably got luggage with me. There's some issues here. And I bet you're sitting over there going, man, I wish I could zip line. Man, I wish I could get my luggage on my on my lap and take a zip line to the airport. All right. And then I'm going to fulfill. Look, we don't have the standardized mode of transportation. So I'm going back in time here.

I'm taking a horse. Oh, my gosh. I'm going horseback. Horse is very high on my list. That is a great pick. It wasn't on my list. There's no helicopter, but it is. I mean, that's going to get me around where I want to.

Horse is third on my list. How is that not on my list? I don't know. That's such a great pick. Yeah. So I'm going horseback. I'm going to be able to get around the city. Look, all you have to do is go back in time to know how people got around before cars. Jason'm going horseback. I'm going to be able to get around the city. Look, all you have to do is go back

in time to know how people got around before cars. Jason's over here like, how did people get around before cars? Yeah, they could only walk. Oh, man. I've got the classic zipline horse combo. Okay. And, not to be outdone, but

I mean, you ever ziplined right onto a horse, straight onto a horse? No. Neither have I. All right. I'm not going to solve my problem of getting to the airport yet. I'm going to add a new problem, but with just as awesome a vehicle as my airplane. I am going to take a cruise ship, my man.

I don't know how I'm getting to the port yet, but when I get there, I can travel internationally. I'm on a floating city. I'm having a blast. Because if I don't take a cruise ship. Super practical for day to day. Well, you know, I live through vacations. And so now I don't have to get rid of uh you know cruise lines which i've i've only been on one cruise in my life we have you've only been on one one i but you're just that in love i

have booked and canceled more cruises than i have been on the way that you talk about cruises yeah i'm shocked and you've been on one of them we have booked three times and canceled but you've been on one i have been on one and it was the best time of my life. All right. I would have thought he's been on 30 cruises, the way he talks about cruises. Oh, my goodness. You are a cruise promoter. Yes.

You tell other people to go on cruises. Yes. I'm a fake cruise snob. I talk them up. I've just never been. Yeah, apparently. I've never been on a cruise. So you have a plane and a cruise ship. You don't know how you're getting to the airport or the port. That's what I'm trying to figure out here, Andy. I've never been on a cruise. So you have a plane and a cruise ship.

You don't know how you're getting to the airport or the port. That's what I'm trying to figure out here, Andy. All right. So, Mike, you're back up. All right. What other sweet pick have I not thought about? Well, now I'm between zip lines fun. Yeah.

So I'm trying to think. Got to have a good time. I've got the helicopter. Caution to the wind. Polls be darned. Who cares anymore anymore because i already won with the helicopter that's true uh i'm gonna go uh you you were inspired me i need to go back in time yeah um i'm not riding the actual horse but i still i'm still horsepowered in my chariot I'm still horse-powered in my chariot. I'm going to take a Roman chariot, and they will pull me around.

Now, I'm curious here, because if Andy has the horse and we can't have horses, are you just on a horseless chariot? He might be. Because I don't think you could get the horse, too. I can't have something to pull it? Would you like to pivot to an oxen pulled? Yes, you could have your family pull this chariot. That would be awesome.

On, wife, on, children. Take King right around. Okay, fine. An ox is pulling my chariot. There is an animal pulling. No, there's lions. There are lions pulling my chariot. So the point is.

We're getting in the weeds of the rules. Well, I mean, Jason's just trying to defend my horse trademark. No, but you're far more nimble than I am. You're one man on a horse, and you can go fast. Al? I was going to say no when he drafted it. Okay. All right.

Fine. Then I will not take the chariot. But I did throw one out there that you could take, which would not be a chariot, but you could go with the Oregon Trail. You could have the oxen pulling the buggy. Okay. But no. You want to live that life slower.

Fine. I will bypass that, and I will go with – I will take a dog sled. Ooh. Oh, that's actually really fun. If I ever happen to race in the Iditarod, I'm good to go. I was just saying, I've never really seen one of those in a non-snowy area. How do they work there? You could put some wheels on it. You could put wheels on it.

Why don't they dog sled with wheels in the heat? Like, seriously, that would be awesome. I think maybe the question answered it for you well i'm not talking like peak arizona summer i'm just saying not in the middle of the snow you couldn't you still i mean if a dog could pull a sled on the snow can't a pack of dogs couldn't a pack of dogs pull a wheeled vehicle 100 well i wheels a wheeled vehicle? Yes, 100%. Well, a wheeled vehicle might have a harder time turning. I've got to look this up. I think a harder time turning than a sled?

Yeah, I mean, a sled just cuts wherever. The dogs take it. Yeah, but if you have wheels. I feel like you might get tipped over. Oh, for sure. Okay, all right. No worries there. But a sled tips over, too.

Dog sled is a fabulously inventive pick. Okay, well, I'm taking a dog sled. That is really good. And I'm going to go. I'm sure that actual pilots know how to control these. But I have no idea. Okay. And if someone can explain it to me, that'll be a learning moment for me.

So I'm going to go wherever the wind takes me. Because I'm jumping in my hot air balloon. Oh, I didn't have that on my list. It's so good. I'm looking down at the beautiful world in the silence up there with the birds. Where am I going to land? I was going to say, is there a chance that you don't know quite when you're coming down? I think you can control when you're going to come down.

Just not where you're going. Not precisely where. I'm going over there. Right. Right? I'm going over there Not precisely where. I'm going over there. Right. Right? I'm going over there. Oh, now I'm going over here. I never understand, like, there's no sail.

Like, how do they control the direction they're going? The wind does it. I know, but I'm saying, like, if I want to go west and the wind is blowing east, is there a way to do that? Bad day to use the hot air balloon. I mean, I don't think that there's much say up there. All right. Could be.

I like that, though. So you've got a helicopter, a dog sled, and a hot air balloon. Are there any other things you could take to go straight up off the ground? You've got the helicopter and the hot air balloon, but you need some surface area for that. You're going to need some acreage. For a hot air balloon? Oh, yeah.

Yes, absolutely. All right. We'll see if this one flies, because I think I figured out how to get myself to the port. Because no. No horse. But there's probably at least one horse power to this machine. Okay.

I think it's going to take me a while to get to the airport, even longer to get to the port. But how about a golf cart? Huh? Is that allowed? Al? No. No. Now, to be fair to myself, I tried to ping him like 10 minutes ago asking if I could

get this, but he didn't respond at all. The judge, man. He is. All right. He's laying this back down. He is ornery today. Oh, my goodness. Somebody still can't get to the airport.

Someone still can't get to the airport. Oh, my goodness. All right. Well, I can maybe give you a ride. It depends on which way the wind is blowing. Is it blowing towards the airport? Mike can take you. Then hop in.

Yeah. All right. Is my zip line? Is the airport at the lowest part of the city i'll get you there all right um now i i assume this this should be fine uh but my family and i will be going on segways is this is this good yep all right way that works two two wheels is fine yeah okay i didn't understand the difference. Yeah, there's a difference. We'll have to all pack our stuff in backpacks.

There's not a lot of storage on the Segway. But I'll get to my cruise. That being said, you will look like a family on Segways. Awesome. That will be one of the big problems. I will look super awesome. You're all cruising down the street, Paul Blart style. So what is your current team?

My current team is an airplane, a cruise ship, and Segway. Which I'm using on the cruise ship. What's the max speed of a Segway? Probably about 14, 15 miles an hour? I would say 15. So it'll take you a little bit of time to get to that port. You could probably hot rod those things up and get

to 20. Oh, I'm taking the governor off for sure. You're not slowing my Segway down. What about the battery issue? Well, that one, I'm going to have to set up a charging station, like the Tesla network. All right. Just every 50 feet. First question I see when investigating is,

can you make a Segway go faster? Yeah. People have been asking for years. And what's the answer? No. No, I don't think you can. You can set it in the app, but that's about it. Now, I'm very tempted to take a riding lawnmower

because, you know, that's kind of my M.O. for this show. We saw. Okay, so we're out playing pickleball. Have we told this story yet? I don't think we have. We're out playing pickleball at a city park down here in Phoenix one morning, at a city park down here in Phoenix one morning, and we look up, and oh my goodness,

there is a lawnmower that is going 50 miles an hour. I mean, this dude is doing Tokyo drifts out there. He is having the best time of his life kicking up dirt. The grass didn't even need to be cut. No, it did not. And we're just watching in awe of this guy. He was joyriding. Jamming out. I think he had AirPods in, and he was having a blast on this.

It had to be his last day on the job. Had to be. Because whatever he did to that lawnmower was very dangerous. It did make me feel better about that pick. Oh, yeah. I was like, I would die if you're coming at me in one of those. I'm not getting out of the way of that thing. It's very wide.

It was the funniest looking thing. Yeah, it was dangerous. Alright, so I have a zip line and I have a horse to go horseback. I do need to get from city to city. You guys have that kind of figured out. I do not and

you know what? They used to have it figured out so I'm going to take a train. Yeah. I'm going to take a train yeah yeah i'm gonna take a train and then i'm gonna pair it with the most obvious pairing which is a jet pack so you are they have real jet packs they have one that's a good question mike and it's an answer that i do not have for you i i i know that there are there are two working jet packs that i have witnessed in my life one is the one one that is the hydro jetpack. Works on the water.

Yeah, that one I've seen. I don't think that's what you're looking for. I mean, the other one. No, I've seen a successful flight. They have real jetpacks, but it's like you have like 60 seconds of air. You haven't seen that Rocketeer documentary? Yeah, you have 60 seconds of air. So that's kind of not really a reality right now.

I will take a teleporter. It's my turn, right? Okay, hold on. I'll pivot. They do need to exist, according to Al Borland. Oh, man. Typical. He's dropping a hammer today.

I was just kidding about jetpack anyways. Yeah, who wants a jetpack? That's lame. Look, sometimes you need comfort in life. Now, will I be able to use this everywhere? No. But when I use it, will I be relaxed? Will I enjoy myself?

Will I have a romantic time with my wife? Yes, I will on my gondola. Oh, very nice. I'm taking a gondola. I love getting around on the water. My cruise ship will not fit where yours goes. Yeah. But I respect the water game.

Yeah. So I will go the jet pack to gondola pivot and finish up with zipline horseback train in gondola for the winning combo. All right. Okie dokie. I'm not super confident in my team right now. What are you lacking? I still feel like I'm lacking normal transportation, everyday transportation.

That's my real kicker here. And so I think I'm going to, as much as I like everything electric in my life, I know I could use the exercise. I know I could hop on this and get from point A to point B and then also maybe shed some LBs. So I'm going to take the bicycle. I mean, for a last round pick to get the bicycle. Yeah, it's a steal. It is very high on my list.

It's a 21 speed. It's a little plain Jane. And all I could think of is Michael Bluth riding his bike to work and just showing up to work just so sweaty. Just so sweaty. I mean, if I had to ride a bicycle in the Arizona summer to a location where it wasn't... Like, if I was riding it to a shower or a pool, that's fine. Any other destination. That's assuming you make it.

In the world, and I get there, and I could not, I would not be allowed into the building. I have a question for you. Okay. If there was a world without cars, a horse is better than a bike yes yeah for sure okay because long distances you're not doing the work over lots of short distances you're not doing the work i guess medium distances i mean you got you don't have to feed a bike no but you still gotta have to saddle it and no well you gotta you gotta put a seat on it that's true also i'm not

gonna like love my bike you know what i mean like I'm not going to be talking on my bike. You don't have to put your bike down. Yeah. Sorry, you got a little dark there. I thought you meant set it down. Now I get what you're saying. It's like I would set my bike. Oh.

Oh, okay. Snickers. All right. Is that the name of the horse? Yeah, Snickers. Snickers. It's a good name I knew that was going there Alright, what's your team?

Final team Is it to me? You're just reading off your team I have airplane Cruise ship, Segway And a bicycle So you really are getting to the airport on a Segway or a bike? That is right.

Okay. Which means I'm never getting to the airport. They're just going to sit there. But I will have a plane on that runway. All right, Mike. Close us out. We're throwing practicality out the window. Was inspired, Andy.

Okay. I can't remember. You had made a comment about the family. And the family helping you get around. And this is not an optimal thing. But what if my last pick was a piggyback ride? Okay. Let's go.

Okay. You're taking the swine. i'm taking the piggyback so wait so you you're getting carried around by other people but piggyback but piggyback style piggyback style which i mean you're a pretty big dude yes you're a pretty big dude yes yes it's uh we it's not practical so it's probably not your wife though it's like you're finding strangers it will be okay or maybe this is how invulnerable Mike feels in this draft. He just drafted piggyback rides by his wife. Outstanding.

It is a form of transportation. A piggyback ride is a great form of transportation. I miss when I got to do piggyback rides because at my size, I haven't found someone yet who can give me a piggyback ride are you putting the call out yeah like i need a you know like jj watts in arizona now he can give me a piggyback ride there's a handful shack shack could give me a piggyback ride if i he's got bad gulliver gulliver gulliver gulliver yes i don't know gulliver's travel That was a good literature joke It was a great joke

I don't think he's actually a giant He went to a world of small people Never mind Gulliver couldn't handle it Alright Jason has no idea about that Is this literature From a book Tell me out There was a jack black movie

where there was a ted danson movie was there was a ted danson tv special goldberg travels that's a two-part series all right uh i think that about does it what did we learn today i i learned something i think this was the first time ever that all three of us individually got shut down on a pick in a draft right mr chariot mr golf cart and mr jetpack shut down because we couldn't figure out forms of transportation because we couldn't figure out forms of transportation because we give them the business for that liar liar ten thousand dollar question you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

That was it. That was it. All right, Mike. Did I learn anything today? I think you learned that chariots use horses. Oh, no. I knew they did. I just didn't know that we would have such a stickler back there.

So maybe I learned that. I learned Al Borland is a big, fat jerk. Whoa. Get him! True words never speak. And I learned today that the pizza joke from earlier was just too cheesy to tell.

Oh! We did it! I don't remember what the setup was. You're going to have to go back and listen, Mike. Till next time. Thank you for tuning in, everyone. We'll see you later. Goodbye.

Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com. What a gas that episode was. My face hurts from smiling. So good. Do you remember when this episode started and we were talking about like joining the spit? Yeah.

That was like join the spit.com. 60 minutes ago. Something like that. And I remember when I was listening, I the spit.com. 60 minutes ago. Something like that. And I remember when I was listening, I was like, Oh, I got to remember to do that. I got to remember to go to join the spit.com.

I want to support the show. I want to get the episodes early. This is really for me. Yeah. So I'm going to go right now to join the spit.com and, and, and who knows, maybe I'll,

maybe I'll see you there.