Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 156: Fake Friends & Disney Characters to Start a Podcast With - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: June 28, 2021

On this episode, we talk about human skipping stones, Jason’s patented technique to avoid cheek bites, and being pitched on an MLM. We end this podcast by drafting Disney characters to start a new podcast with. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

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and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Blap, blap, blip, blip, blip, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop, blop to let it come to me, and then I was like... And it was? And it was coming, it was coming to me, and then I was like, where am I? The beginning was sensational. You blacked out halfway through? I blacked out, and then... And what comes to your mind when you black out?

The word poop, huh? Did that? Did I say poop? Did you? You definitely did. I don't think I did. I did? You did.

You said poop? I did not. You did. You did. Oh, well, the nice thing is it's recorded, said poop? I did not. You did. You did. Oh, well, the nice thing is it's recorded, so then I blacked out, too. Y'all, thank you. I mean, maybe I was on such a voyage. Like, I was on the back of a unicorn riding the rainbow.

And then you realize unicorns don't exist? Well, no, and then the unicorn blacked out. He's plummeting through the air. And I just fell in a trash can. They say, psychologists say this, not me. I've read the studies. unicorn blacked out he's plummeting through the air i just fell in a trash can it's they say psychologists say this not me i've read the studies um that freud right uh when you black out at the back like a scat reveals your true character so at the moment where it's pure improvisation your deepest core fundamental parts of you come out in word form,

and I heard poop. I am blown away right now because genuinely there's no change. I didn't say poop. Now the sound poop might have come out of my mouth amongst a myriad of sounds that were just flowing. Did you end like something with a P sound like a brap and then went to an oop? I think that's what probably happened. A brap oop.

But we'll see. I'm going to guess that's going to be cut out and shared on social media. Welcome into Spitballers, Andy, Mike, and Jason. Brap oop. For those of you not behind the scenes, I will say that most of the time when Jason is told that it's his turn to do the scat, there's a terror, a fear, an apprehension, a hold on, let's wait a second. I don't know how much you can see.

He seems super confident today. I don't know how much you can see on the YouTube intro from the graphic to when it actually goes to the camera, but we have these little boogie board things, and he was fanning himself. I thought that meant the scat would be hot. Oh, I thought it meant that too. So I need to fan harder. All right, well, we have Would You Rather Life Advice in a draft on today's show.

Next week, I've been told Liar Liar is coming soon. But how can we trust that right it's a lie whole segment i believe it i believe it i think that's the truth now we beat you last time right no dang it still i will be watching 10 hours of jeopardy every day until next week yeah and probably you need to join the fbi and be one of profilers too. Ooh, can I get a phone tap? Because you need to be able to identify a psychopath and a liar and things like that. I'm just going to start Googling all of them. Oh.

I've got this computer right here. I mean, it's really blown me away that I have not yet cheated. You can support the show. Join the spit.com. Let's get into some. Would you rather. Would you rather. All right. Dangerous writes in.

That's their name. Dangerous from the website. You are taking your family on a summer vacation to Maine. Why? Lobster. Would you rather drive. And be the only driver round trip or fly but have to lay over in each state whose border you crossed? Okay, we are in Arizona. So this is both a long drive and many, many, many layovers.

Can we guess how many states? That's got to be a 10. You can. I'm going to look it up, though. I'm going to guess a 10-state minimum. Yeah, I was going to say it's more than that. We have a 43-hour drive. Oh, okay.

All right. That's a lot. And I think you'd cross 12 state lines. It's just tough because can I cross over like a corner where I avoid? Oh, you mean right on the corner? Yeah. Or do I have to now stop in two states? I think that's your worst strategy.

Wait, what did you guess? I don't even remember. I think it was 11. What did you guess? 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11. I've got 12 by my count. I have 12. I guessed 12.

It's 12. But you were right. You've got to go New Mexico, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Vermont. Oh, see my map. West Virginia, Maine. My map has me going through Massachusetts and then just barely, barely get a little corner of New Hampshire.

That one would be annoying because you're right there. Yeah. You're like, oh, we're done. Yeah. I'm going to go and drive. Yeah, you have to drive. Stopping that many times will take you just as long as the drive. How have we not reached the point?

This is a question for the scientists. What's the deal with layovers, man? What's the deal? Why can I not get from point A to point B? I get it. In the year 2021. Now, layover means an overnight stay. Oh, it does?

Oh, that's even worse. I didn't think of that. I was just thinking of a layover can be a couple hours. That counts too? Yeah, that's a layover. Yeah. So that just means that you have to switch planes, basically. Or just land.

That's 24 takeoffs and landings. Have you ever done the uh i have never done where you land and stay in the plane and then go again but i've i've left planes where people are on they're like if you're going to oklahoma stay on the plane it's like you're saying why can't we go point a to point b no matter where yes that's what i'm saying i think it's 24 takeoffs and landings even if they were successive and there was no waiting. I don't think I want to do that more than driving. Because the takeoff and the landing,

those are the bad parts of a flight. Like, once you're cruising, I mean, I know you- Yeah, cruising is the marshmallows and the lucky charms. The takeoff and landings, those other oat pieces. You get, sometimes you hit some turbulence, which is not so much, flying is not my favorite thing in the world. But, you know, desperate times.

If you've got to get somewhere, you've got to fly. But it's the takeoffs and the landings. That's what I am. I've got the noise-canceling headphones on. This is not happening. I am in the astral plane as much as I can be. Are you doing scats in your head while that happens? Oh, no, I'm in full. I mean, I'm hitting a mantra just over and over.

I'm doing my alms. Now, I know you get a little bit nervous on planes as well, right, Andy? I get more motion sick than I do nervous. Okay. Yeah, I'm not as nervous. I mean, look, I was offered the opportunity to be in one of those little like four-seater cessnas and i was driving to work today and we were near you wanted to live i wanted to live i choose i've already made the decision i'm like if i get offered this

again i'm rejecting it oh and it's on I'll say this when my kids are older okay that's what I'm going with because he doesn't trust his wife that's how you're living on the edge it's not

it's not like I'm gonna go skydiving it's no I'm gonna ride in a small plane I drove to work today and one of those small Cessnas we have an airport right next to here

Deer Valley the small one and it went those small Cessnas, we have an airport right next to here, Deer Valley, the small one, and it went right over my head, and it must have been, I mean, it felt like it was right there. And that is a tiny piece of metal flying through the sky. I don't know how in the world they take off and land them. I know that if they just mess up a little bit, I'm gone. Every single time that I have seen, like, you got that invite maybe two or three weeks ago I mean it's

beautiful when it goes right canyon it looks great I saw the pictures but every single time since that moment when I drive to work it's like every single time I'm seeing one of these tiny and what are your thoughts are you hopping in one of those oh no man I just like that thing looks like it was built in the 50s and see the opportunity I had, there's one pilot and three passengers. They don't make planes that small. That one pilot has an issue. We're back to the beginning of spitballers. How likely are you to be able to land a plane?

So I'm fine, but I don't know about you guys. My goal is, I guess my goal, if that person, if the pilot goes down and everybody else doesn't know how to fly, your goal is to crash that plane properly because people survive plane crashes in those small planes that's how launch pad always so your goal is to crash elegantly i would set my goal higher i would set my goal in the landing and then i would think you could land it no but if that's my goal then i can survive a crash if your goal is crashed you're probably doing it worse than you think.

Would you go water? If I had water available, I would go water. Really? Over the land? I think so. I think I would. I think it would be a softer landing, and I'm probably wrong. Is there a way that you could kind of...

This is a theory, a pilot theory, because I'm so smart. You're going, and you're about to land on the water. You're about 20 feet up. Pull up. Can you open the door and leap out? Oh, yeah, you can. Of course.

Just from 20 feet up? You could jump out from 5,000 feet. You can do whatever you want. There's no locks on the doors. But what's most likely to kill me, that strategy or actually going into the water with a plane? That strategy. Yes, that is correct. That is correct. Jumping out of the That's strategy. Yes, that is correct. That is correct.

Jumping out of the plane at low. No, like 15 feet. Okay. It doesn't matter. You're still, your body, when you, however fast, this is physics now. Yeah, all right. However fast the plane is going and you jump out, that is now how fast your body is going. So if you are going.

And it's going to cut me, the water is going to cut me in half. No, you're going to skip like a stone, but you're going to leave your flesh in the water. Right. That is. By the end, you'll just be a skeleton, an orc sinking into the water. I skip across the whole lake and by the end, there's just bones. That's exactly what would happen, scientifically speaking. I think.

That seems more painful than the quick death. Yeah. See, I'm buckling tighter. I'm tightening my safety belts is what they call those. Andy is removing them. I got this. I got this. I got a great idea.

I thought you were going to say when you're like 15 feet down, you like pull up to like maybe, you know, so you don't come in too hot. You know, I'm certainly trying not to come in extra hot. Yeah. But he's like, no, I'm certainly trying not to come in extra hot. Yeah. But he's like, no, I'm jumping. I would not recommend jumping out. Imagine if the pilot did that and the three of you were still. You'd still be better off than the pilot. Pilot's like, okay, everyone remain seated.

I'm out of here. Whoop. He just leaps out. I got a dinner to attend. You're definitely going to make it. Don't worry about it. Also, what's that over there? All right.

All right. Let's move on. I think we've established we don't want to go up and down 24 times. We're all driving to Maine. Oh, there was a question there. Yeah. We're driving to Maine, though, right? Yes.

And also, it's a summer vacation which means we get to go from melting outside in Arizona to melting I would imagine that Maine feels pretty nice in the summer all right Brett from Twitter would you rather bite your cheek or burn the roof of your mouth with an exploding pizza roll these are that's a great question because we've all experienced both of these we hate both there's none of these are like yeah that's not too bad right i can't remember a real bad roof oh mouth roof really you you have not eaten hot enough pizza so yeah that it it's always the cheese gotta be a microwave thing that surprises you right no i've i've gotten you can burn the roof of your mouth on like a just a regular slice of pie yeah but are you eating it like what happens is you take a bite and it's

hotter than hot you didn't realize it and then when you go ah and you take it back out of your mouth guess what stays on the roof of your mouth the cheese has become your gum and it is it is eventually it will rip off, and that is what shreds the roof of your mouth with the burn. So how long does it take to recover? Can you get a third degree? You can get a solid burn. It's not going to be there forever, but it's definitely multiple days.

To be fair, if you bite your cheek, that can be a multi-day. Sometimes that can be multi-week. Sometimes that's a multi-weeker if you hit your cheek, that's a multi-day. That can be a multi-day. Sometimes that can be multi-week. Sometimes that's a multi-week. The old canker sore. If you hit it again, which you do, and you will. You've got to learn your lesson for a couple of days, and then you've got to take the next few days just going. Just eating on the other side of your mouth.

I'm just wondering, because this is my strategy. If I've got the bite on the inside of the cheek, let's say, I blow my cheeks out like a chipmunk. Nope, I don't do that. Hold on. To close my teeth to make sure I'm not biting it. And then you eat like that for multiple days? No, you can't eat like that.

I'm just saying all the time, because it's not just when you're eating that you bite your cheek. I feel like I'm alone here. I feel like looking around the room. You should feel that way. I am taking you very seriously, and I'm trying to figure it out. I just have never, ever heard of this in 38 years of living. Look, I've just improved your timeline for cheek bite recovery, okay,

because it gets your cheeks out of the way anytime you're going to close your mouth. Every bite? No, not when you're eating. Just initial clamp down. Just like you're just. You walk around with your cheeks puffed out no i walk around with my teeth closed so that i can't bite my cheek but before i close my teeth like this this is the most no what don't take this the wrong way this is the stupidest thing i've ever heard that's literally the nicest thing you've ever said to

me because if this is the stupidest thing then all the other stupid things you're telling me you keep your teeth closed when you're not eating so that you don't bite your cheek the only time i bite my cheek is when i'm eating you've never been you bite your cheek just walking around well maybe not just walking around but i've definitely not like i've definitely bitten my cheek while not talking. How? I want to play the scenario out. Talking? How are you doing? Wait, talking? Yeah, I might be talking and then bite. You bite a lot while you talk?

How aggressively are you talking? Look, I speak for a living, okay? I speak with authority. Do you chew while you talk? So wait, you're telling me you only bite your cheek when you're eating and no other time. It's the only time I actually bite. so wait you're telling me you only bite your cheek when you're eating and no other time if you only time i actually bite if you've got a and now i'm not talking like the og the og bite will always come while you're eating but once you've got the lump once you've got the the the i feel

like there's a better descriptive word the bit cheek the bit. The bit cheek. Yes. Which that thing is surely a bit cheek because it really gets in the way. But once you've got that, you've got to – it's always in the way and not just when you're eating. Look, the only way that that hurts is if your teeth come together in a bite. Mike, you're staying out of this. Do you bite things other than when you eat? Number one, I'm confused what Eek did to you.

Number two, no, your real bite. I mean, there's other scenarios I could think of, but it's me. I guess I'm biting my nails, which I shouldn't do. Yeah, with chewing gum, it's the same. You're biting. You're eating. I don't know. Look, Jason's got himself sitting in a chair, so I'm not surprised about this at all. I want to know.

Yes, you're alone. I want to know on Twitter the people who know what I'm... Look, if you have never buffed your cheeks out to bite, don't at me. We're going to expand. But if you have, I want to know. But you said that you can't do me we're gonna expand but if you have i want to know but you said that you can't do it while you're eating sometimes you can like just to clear the area a little bit but i mean it's producers you're shaking your heads do you do a lot of cheek biting uh he's on his own on this one yep oh man there's five of us in the room that's

that's bad that's bad that's bad numbers numbers. What was the question? The question was burn the roof of your mouth or bite your cheek. It's easily the cheek bite. It's easily the cheek bite. I have a method to avoid it. See, I do the cereal cuts the top of my mouth thing too much. That's very similar

to a pizza roll burn. Similar recovery? Yeah. The burn is worse, though, for sure. Agreed, agreed. But it's a similar, you know. The burn is a pure accident. The roof of your mouth with certain cereals is just a byproduct of loving that cereal. Yeah, it was too good.

Like, I knew this hurt. Then you're like, I can't go back to that cereal right now or I'm going to have a problem. Yeah. Neils from Twitter. Not just one. Multiple Neils. Hey, what's up, Neils? go back to that cereal right now or i'm gonna have a problem yeah neil's from twitter not just one multiple neil's hey what's up neil's um would you rather always have to exit buildings through a window or walk into every glass door before being able to walk through so you either get in and out of every window or you are hitting the glass one time okay well i see problem number one

not every building has windows that you can crawl through like for instance i could not leave our office ever again unless i you know what i mean like so do i magically get to open a window everywhere yes sure okay for this for this ridiculous question yes you have you have some kind of minus touch it's gonna be awkward right climbing in and out of a window yeah a little embarrassing but not really more embarrassing than walking into the glass door every single time but you can make that a thing that's your thing that's all funny guy oh watch he's about to leave watch this funny thing maybe for your friends and family but what about the local Target or Walgreens?

And we've all seen it. You've got to run at those suckers because they open. They try to get out of your way. You've got to, no, I'm going to kamikaze. We've seen the viral videos of people walking into glass doors. Oh, they're so funny. And they're all idiots. Oh, yeah, they're all idiots, number one.

But there are the occasion where it's someone walking into it, and that thing just shatters. That would feel bad like you're you're doing that so like one out of what every 30 doors or something but i know i'm gonna walk into this thing like shack with the back door yeah really the shatter situation is this person is confident there is no door there they are and they've got places to be they're getting to their car asap and shattered the door but i know i'm walking into this door yeah but if you know you're gonna walk it's still a walk yeah it's not it's not sliding up to it and then bonking my forehead it's i am walking

into the glass door now i'm i'm thinking about different homes i've been in there are i would say the vast majority. If you can't get out a window, chimney is also acceptable. Thank you. But what I was going to say is the vast majority of windows, they're, at the very least, they're waist and up, right? Waist and up? I'm saying they don't go to the ground.

Most windows do not go to the ground. So you are- Yeah, you're climbing in. You are climbing. Well, just put yourself in the situation of like, if you got into your car, but you couldn't use the door. That's the level of climbing in that you're doing every single time. Jason climbing in and out. Oh, man.

Of a car window. The problem is not the climb in or the climb out. The problem is. The problem is you. I get it. Once I'm in, because I went head first, around so you're gonna go ahead you're not gonna you're not gonna go leg in how would I possibly do that I mean I would I've seen the the videos where a guy runs and jumps legs in maybe in my youth um but I would have to go head first and

I'm a big guy and the steering wheel is there and now I'm head first to get around to a seated position. It would be five minutes of pure hilarity as I try to maneuver just rolling. I'm using the passenger seat. You're just going to do like a full crocodile roll inside of the cabin. I'm just going to have to rock and do like a 60-point turn to get my legs in the right spot. No, I'm walking into doors here, fellas. Al Borland, how are you doing today?

I'm great. Thanks for asking. Should we do another would you rather? You want to move on to some life advice? Let's do one more. Okay, fine. Why did you ask him then? For the people.

Holt from Twitter, would you rather be trapped on a deserted island with someone who never speaks or someone who never shuts up? Oh, wow. This is a question that people ask. I guess for Mike that would be. No, I don't believe it. I know what Mike's saying. Mike would prefer to have someone quiet, not have the conversation, yada, yada, yada. But I don't believe you.

I don't believe you in the situation of a deserted island maybe there is no team yeah exactly for the first day for the first week but you want someone to talk to you you don't have tv you don't have a book to read you don't have anything like you might as well be stranded by yourself if you're on an island with someone that's not talking no because you have someone to help you that person is interested in survival just like i am so i have someone who is going to be interested in taking up some of the jobs we got to figure out how to get a fire we got to collect food we got to build a shelter if i am trapped with someone who never shuts up sooner than later i will be the only person who is trapped on that

deserted island. Now you need twice the food, Mike. Well, I'll be eating a body. Would you rather eat a body or talk to someone? Eat a body, obviously. No question. Talk to people. Well, no, no.

It's not just talking someone who never shuts is there a way hold on we try look this show has life advice on it right now yeah but we never look we help the people but maybe we need to help mike we need to help each other maybe we need to people aren't your enemy your enemy and their words are, you haven't met very many words. Aren't poison. Oh, you again,

you haven't met very many people and being nice to other people, talking to them, having care and concern for them, wondering how their day is going. These are all good. Those are good things. These are good things. Those are good things.

They're not bad things. Those are bad things. You could be one of the people that value those things. I care how my friends days are going. I just, Oh, you do. Oh yeah. one of the people that value those things. I care how my friends' days are going. Oh, you do? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I check in on my friends. Have I not checked in with you?

Yeah. Exactly. Oh, man. Oh, no. Well played. Dang. Well played. We lost this Spitballers episode. Oh, we lost it. played. We lost this Spitballers episode.

Oh, we lost it. Andy and I lost this Spitballers episode. Oh, dear goodness. We just got got. We got it bad. By friend of others, Mike. He's not our friend all these years. And the truth shall set you free

oh my goodness i feel like mike wins everything yeah i mean we yeah okay exactly exactly there we go it all makes so much sense turn the air down yeah we're gonna need a little cooler in here oh my gosh all right well there's nothing left to say there let's move on okay spit wads we rely on our devices for everything maybe even a little too much but look we forget about the hardware we're born with. I'm talking about your ears, just like fingerprints. No, two are exactly alike. And yet we're stuffing all of these generic earbuds into our ears and wondering why they all fall out and they're not comfortable. And maybe you even have pain because you're jamming that into your very customized ear hole. But let me tell you about what Ultimate Ears has, and I've

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What are you doing? One of your closest friends is not your friend. Help. All right. Joey from Twitter has a very important question. Let's get serious. Yeah. No more jokes. My friend invited me over for what I thought was a cocktail party.

Oh, no. When I got there, I was ushered into a living room and quickly learned I was at an MLM recruitment seminar. What do I do? The timing of this question as you're telling me how great people are. Why have friends? No, the timing of this question. Well, Joey is literally asking, what do I do when I thought I had a friend who wasn't my friend?

Joey, this is what you just learned. That person who invited you to a cocktail party and did the switcheroo to the multi-level marketing meeting they ain't your friend i wanted to make that clear in case you haven't heard that term jason just said it yes you've been invited over to a sales pitch yeah you thought you're going to a cocktail party which means i mean they set this thing up with a full-on lie and then they brought you in to sell you it's gonna be fun we'll dress up we'll have some drinks i'll sell you things and man this is no jason they're not selling you things they're giving you an opportunity that's true that's true they want you to also sell things i was listening to um i was listening to a podcast going to the background of tupperware like the original

oh yeah yeah yeah which is still only sold through like catalogs online and then parties like Tupperware parties you're talking about the brand the brand Tupperware not all Tupperware that exists but the brand I've purchased yeah but no I mean like non-Tupperware Tupperware the real brand Tupperware so what do you it was Mr. Tupper yeah what do you call them you call them Tupperware the same way you call this? It was Mr. Tupper. Yeah, what do you call him? You call him Tupperware. The same way you call a Band-Aid a Band-Aid even if it's not by Band-Aid. But what is a Kleenex? It's a tissue. Okay, so what is a Tupperware?

What is the real name of a Tupperware? It's a plastic container. That's two words. That's too many. That's not catchy. They should use something like- It's Plasticware. Plasticware?

Oh, that is- Yeah, wait. Plasticware is like forks and knives. It's a food storage container. Oh, we're up to three words. Oh, man. Look, here's the thing. Tupperware did a goodks and knives. It's a food storage container. Oh, we're up to three words. Oh, man. Look, here's the thing. Plasticware did a good thing.

I have had- Those are good people. Now, I have never had this exact situation where I showed up at a house and then was sold something because I don't know what I would do there. I would probably get explosive diarrhea and leave. leave. However, I have had the people, the Facebook friends who you hear from once every two years, mostly realtors, and they ask you the pretend questions about your life to lead into, do you have anything? Do you guys looking to sell your house? You looking to buy a house? Do you, you know, trying to sell you something.

And there is no worse feeling in the world. And I don't, there's nothing I would respect you less for. Didn't you have, so a while back we played on a flag football team. Yes. Wasn't there someone on our football team that like kept trying to ensnare you? And the worst part of that was was is this person pretended to be my friend in real life multiple times until finally we connected online so that he could try to recruit me we call that a mic to be a part of a multi-level marketing scam thing and the the thing is is like

on one hand i understand these people are trying to make a living. And they're told by Mr. Tupper that you need to sell to your friends. Because that's how these companies grow. And the hard part of it is like- But man. But Tupperware, it's a legit product. Tupperware is good. Yes, it is. I mean, do you want to store your food in tinfoil or do you want to throw it in a Tupperware, or whatever the generic term is.

That's a great product. It's an actual product. It's a great product. There are MLMs out there that are just snake oil. Right. But, like, what do you do? We'll save you money on all of your media bills if you sell our Tupperware. I'd probably buy some Tupperware and then leave.

That is what you do. Most people do that for their friend. No, I think the pro move is you start selling your own product. You turn it all around and you find... Thank you for coming here today. Thank you for coming here today. This is my party. Actually, can I talk for a minute, please?

And then you get... Because now you've got a captive audience and whatever you do... Like for me, I'm going to tell them all about the podcast. I'm just going to talk to them. I'm going to maybe draw some things out. If they've got a captive audience, and whatever you do, like for me, I'm going to tell them all about the podcast. I'm just going to talk to them. I'm going to maybe draw some things out. If they've got a chalkboard, a whiteboard. Get us some investors.

Get us some investors, some listeners. I mean, whatever you do, you work at T-Mobile, you start selling phones. Because what you're going to say to the friend with your actions is, this is what it feels like. Don't do this. Look at me. I'm the captain now. Your friend wants to sell that and wants to have this Tupperware party?

Have a Tupperware party. Bring them over. Let them know. It's the bait and switch that's the problem here, Joey. And I think you need to move on from this. Yeah, it's not a friend. The bait and switch is the problem. Don't ask them how they're doing.

The worst part is here's what you're going to do. You're going to get out of there, right? And this person's not going to be a friend to you. And then all the other people that went to the party are going to buy this product. And then you're going to get home and you'll be like, man, I wish I had that product. That product looked pretty sweet in that presentation. All right, next piece of life advice. Jeremy from the website.

Okay. Wait a minute. All right, Al. Owie, owie, owie, owie. My wife and I are selling our little car so we can buy a minivan. All right. Twins are on the way. Okay.

Congratulations. Love Michael Keaton. We are hoping to use the money from the sale of the car to help pay for the minivan. Oh, no. But my sister-in-law needs a car and wants us to give it to her for a family discount. What should we do? This is tough. This is brutal.

At first, I thought your sister just asked for the car. And if she just straight asked for the car, that's overstepping, in my opinion. Like, to say, hey, can I have your car? Yes, 100%. But when it comes to family discount, you're in a real pickle here. Because now, you wanted to sell the vehicle. You wanted to get max money for it because you really do have a good reason. You want most money because you want to get a minivan.

They're not just switching cars. They're switching car types because a new family is on the way. But twins. Yeah. I'm sure Jason can speak from more experience than me personally. Twice as many kids. Due to I don't have twins. Right.

But I've had a child, and having a child is not a cheap endeavor. Now, having two of them at the exact same time, also not cheap. It's almost more expensive to have two than to have one. Double. Yeah. More expensive to have two than to have one. Double. Yeah.

But the problem is now, like the conversation of I'd love you to buy it for full price is not a conversation I know how to have. Because you would expect a family member that's selling their vehicle to at least, I mean, maybe consider giving you a discount. Maybe. Maybe. Not presumed. You shouldn't presume that they will. I hope this question came in minutes before we started recording, because the answer here is, I'm so sorry we already sold it. Why didn't you come to me earlier?

I would have. I would have given you a smoking deal, but it's already gone. And then you're probably going to have to, in the meantime, make sure you're parking in the garage or down the street until you get this thing traded in. It's really, really tough. And, you know, maybe do the whole 1% discount. You know, the whole, like, well, I can get this, but just 1%. I mean, it's a really tough situation.

I know we don't give real advice very often. How dare you? But the real advice is just be honest with the sister and say, or sister-in-law. Oh, great. Now it's even worse. Family problems. I always hated that guy. Sister-in-law?

Oh, crap. Yeah. Because you'd like to be able to just say, look, here's what's happening. We would love to give you a discount, but. Now it's sister-in-law, which you're removed. I know. The wife has to talk. My hands are clean of this situation.

You're right. You just found the loophole. When the situation is my parents, when the situation is my siblings, who handles it? I do. when it's on your side of the family you get not your family not your problem that's what mama always said that's right um yeah so hey wife jeremy talk to your sister jeremy your wife has some heavy lifting to do here she does um well and i have no advice for her, but I would, I would, I, the only thing I would say is probably not the right approach is what Andy said, which is honesty.

Um, I mean, honesty is never the answer. When, when you are faced with the decision of honesty versus washing your hands of the situation, right? Right. I'm saying for the wife now. Here's your advice, Jeremy. Ask your wife how she's going to handle it. There you go. And whatever she says is going to go.

I'm giving it to her for half off. Yes, ma'am. Yeah, okay. I guess we're doing that. All right. DS from Patreon. I'm going to ask my brothers to be my groomsmen. I will tell you this honestly right now, spitwads.

I read Gooseman, and I did not know what that was. This is a big moment in my life. I'm going to, you need to protect your butt cheeks. All right. I'm going to ask my brothers to be my groomsmen. I want to get a unique gift for them. That's actually usable. They are 41, 40 and 36.

I'm 29 and was an accident. Okay. Whoopsies. All right. I also read and was in an accident. Okay. Whoopsies. All right. I also read and was in an accident, which I'm not doing good on this question. We need to do Highway to Spell immediately. So this person that's been in an accident is looking for some Goosemen.

No, what should I get for them? So this 29-year-old accident is looking to get some gifts for the groomsmen. And I've heard, I mean, people like giving original gifts to the groomsmen. What's the best? How many weddings have you been in, Jason, as a groomsman? As a groomsman, two. And I.

Best gift you got? A fancy bottle of scotch. Okay. That's a good gift. fancy bottle of scotch. Okay. That's a good gift. I would also recommend we've gotten a gift before of a really nice carving, like

super nice knife. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a cool gift. I love nice knives. And I'm not talking like a switchblade or like a hunting, but like a kitchen chef's knife. Oh, yeah. That's a good gift. What would you, have you been a groomsman before do you

have friends he has many friends and we we don't know them but he's loaded with friends he's always talking to them chatting them up lots of friends that we obviously the reason you can't ever get a hold of me very interesting all my friends now that i remember this mike wasn't we weren't groomsmen at mike's wedding that's true that is very true uh but what have you been a groom i have i've been a groomsman uh several times and i'm trying to think the coolest gift is it seems like that's a gift that gets customized like it's made for you like the your name's in a knife or something and like honestly the the only one i can remember is the the one that is the most recent like i can't remember the other gifts uh which my friends listen to this podcast so sorry

fellas yeah your gifts were your gifts were not good enough uh but the most recent one i was in uh game of thrones was was huge at the. So he got us all customized, fancy looking beer steins where they look like they're made out of wood and definitely a mug that would have been used at a tavern in Game of Thrones and then it had a customized placard for it. Wouldn't the best gift to give be paying for their tux rentals? Yes. Yeah, that's actually a really nice gift to give groomsmen. Or buy them tuxes.

It's a punishment. It could be their tuxes. Sometimes it's a punishment to be in someone's wedding. It can be. Can you be in my wedding? But also, you're going to need to spend way up on the outfit I'm going to make you wear. So knowing you, Mike, you probably did not like being a groomsman. It was all right.

It was my real friends. Oh, okay. Sp okay spare no expense i'd pay anything for them i'd do anything for them anything uh the one where i even ask about their day uh where the one where it got out of control um so wedding day right we're in a we're in this beautiful looking field area. There's flowers. Like, you're in a real legit flower garden. And you know what likes flowers? Bees. Bees. Oh, my gosh.

Bees like flowers. And I was up in Vermont, and I don't know what they feed their bees up there. A lot of honey? Oh, yeah. These things are jacked. These things are on steroids. Now, you had the flower on the lapel, right? Yeah, of course. Of things are jacked. These things are on steroids. Now you had the flower on the lapel, right? Yeah, of course.

You have something on your shirt, but I'm up there for the ceremony and I am surrounded by bees. This is a nightmare. This was my fear factor. Guys, I made it through, but I told my friend I would never ever forgive them for that situation.

Wow. Here's the thing. What about the weddings where they're at another location without airfare covered? Like this wedding, you've been asked to be a groomsman. Oh, yeah. And now it's in Hawaii, no airfare. Congratulations. Because you're going to be at my wedding, you're going to have a Hawaii vacation. But you're going to have to pay.

You've got to pay. You've got to pay for it. It's interesting the timing of it, because there was a, I don't know how viral, but viral enough that I saw it of a gal shared a TikTok of like, we need to normalize this. When you're asking someone to be in your bridal or groom's party,

like lay everything out for them. Don't just come to them with the, like the, you know, the joy of like, I am bestowing upon you the honor of being in my groom's party. Cause that's it. Do you accept? Yeah.

Not laying out like, this is what it's going to cost. This is like, this is where I can help out. It's like, these are real conversations. These are our friends that we asked to be in the party. I think both parties should have a lawyer present.

Yeah. You're going to want to moderate it, make sure that things stay civil, and the bills are split right. It is funny because we're coming up on our 15-year anniversary. You guys have been – you're past yours, Jason. I'm past 15. I'm past mine. You're past yours.

Just had it this year, right? Yes, yeah, it was this year. And we were watching some TV show, and there was this elaborate wedding and all this stress and all this you know what comes with a wedding and my wife just goes weddings are so stupid she goes if we could do it again i would just do something super small like mike is the guy on this show that constantly brings up these like have like traditions and things that we do like the idea of some of the wedding traditions like you're saying like it's basically called the obligatory cost factory yes because there are

things that you have to do you have to pay a bunch of money for the food you have to pay a bunch of money for the clothes you got to pay a bunch of money for the rings you got to pay a bunch of money for the destination like it is there's no way to do it you're divorced two weeks later and yes but on top of that part of the tradition is we have uh you know i i guess you could easily chase down the history of this uh of the tradition but the the parents of the bride are supposed to foot essentially the whole bill. Yeah. So it's like, okay, you have a child and you happen to have a daughter. Okay, well, now you better start saving up for college

and you better start saving up for your daughter's wedding because you're going to have to – why are we doing this? All I know is – What are we doing? The three of us all have two boys and one girl, and that is the right ratio we only need to pay for one wedding out of three kids that's right good job fellas genius why stop um also the answer to the actual question ds is automobiles I'll get them just get them a car but you will clearly win today I was gonna say a couple months subscription to Xbox Game Pass.

Ah, slightly different than the old Tesla. All right, we're going on. We're going to draft. Spidwads, this is not an ad. This is advice. My advice to you is to check out Nuts.com. This is a place that we were turned on to this last year. Nuts.com is unbelievable.

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available at nuts.com slash terms. The Spitballers Draft. All right, I've always wanted to start a podcast, so this is a good draft. Disney characters to start a podcast with. Jason has the first pick. And now we have decided this is Disney slash Pixar, but but that's that's where it stops pixar is disney right and disney is pixar right so those those two i have the first pick i don't know that this is one where it is extremely valuable to have the first but i do have a

i do have a 101 i have a 101 I wonder if it's the same one. Sometimes when you're starting a podcast, it takes a little bit of luck, a little bit of magic, a little bit of funny. I'm taking the genie, man. Oh, okay. That was not my 101. I get Robin Williams. I mean, come home, man. My podcast is going to be hilarious.

He's got a nice voice to listen to, and he might just wish us to the top of the charts. I hope you're cool with never ever talking on your own podcast, because the genie, talk about someone who never shuts up, the genie. You ain't never had a friend like me. It's very fun for me on the outside to watch people have to interact with the genie and his chaos and his zaniness i don't know but you're definitely not gonna own the room like that's the genie's room if we go to the number one and we're a smash hit i am fine saying very few words i will sit back

and ride that genie's tail you're super cool to be on uh the genie and friends podcast absolutely you're telling me you don't want to be you if Conan was like, hey, Mike, you want to come and it'll be the Conan and Friends and I do most of the talking, but you're part of this? You'd be like, yeah, yeah, I know. Of course I would. Yeah. No, it's a good pick. It was on my list.

Okay. It wasn't my one-on-one. It wasn't either of your one-on-ones. No, and the funny thing is, is Mike says he has a one-on-one that's just, it's not going to be mine, I'm guessing. But I am going to draft the best voice that's ever existed. It is your 101? Yeah. I'm taking Mufasa.

Yep, that was my 101. It was so easy, Jason. It was right there. Mufasa. I want entertainment. Look, shows are going to ebb and flow. Content ebbs and flows. That voice is forever.

Simba. Simba. I mean, does Conan have some sultry voice? No. You may want entertainment. Sounds stupid. And here's the thing. We're building a whole team, though.

Mufasa isn't just voice. Mufasa is wisdom. It's voice and wisdom. You get both in one. Call me crazy, but I don't want a podcast with a lion in the room. Okay? I don't want to get eaten. Wait a minute.

You crazy psychopath. You're worried about being talked over. Worried about being lunch. All right. So I took Mufasa. I'm sorry, Mike. You have two picks, though, to make up for it. Yeah.

Okay. So Mufasa was my 101. Symbol. I mean, that voice is just so silky smooth. And James Earl Jones's. Yeah. I mean, it's incredible. And so we're assembling our team here,

and I think I'm going to, with at least my first pick, I'm starting it off with a gal. She's known for her voice because her voice is so incredible that a sea witch had to steal her voice. Oh. So I'm getting Ariel up in here already. Do you know how awkward that show is going to be if she's, you know, if Ursula takes it for a little while?

Well, Ursula's already been vanquished by Prince whatever. I don't know. Eric? Prince Eric in that one? I don't know? I don't know. History tells me it could go out. That's all I'm saying. You've heard my voice go out. Her voice is good. She's got legs. She's a human now. She knows nothing.

She doesn't even know what a fork is. It's important you mention the legs thing because Jason was going to be like, I don't want a mermaid in my podcast studio flopping around. You want me to record underwater? What are we even doing here? She may not know a ton about the human world, but she's inquisitive.

She's excited. She wants to learn. Oh, because it could be a stuff you should know. Yes. And she's there. Stuff I don't know. She's there with Ariel. Stuff I don't know with Ariel?

Yeah. I mean, this one talks right in itself, Mike. This is what I'm talking about. All right. Now I'm going to get someone else with a silky smooth voice. Okay. So we're going. Which he's definitely not known for that, but he absolutely crushes in this role.

He's witty. He's wise. And I'm going with Maui. I am taking the rock. Like I said, not known for his voice, but as Maui. I am taking the Rock. Like I said, not known for his voice, but as Maui. Absolutely. That's a pretty silky smooth voice that's going on there. I don't have him on my list.

Well, you can't draft him now because I took him. So it doesn't matter. Yes. But I think that that's a good pick. I mean, yeah. He's entertaining. He knows things that he can teach Ariel. Right. They can talk teach Ariel. Right.

They can talk about water. Sure. They got that in common. That is true. The bond that unites. Hope you're podcasting from an island. All right. I'm in between a couple of picks here.

I figure I'm building a podcast team, and there are roles to be played. Yes. Mufasa, he's got the voice. He's a stabilizing, wise leader. But look, every podcast has a know-it-all. And every podcast has somebody that just, they have to get their words in. Buzz Lightyear is my pick.

I'm taking Buzz Lightyear. Buzz Lightyear is my pick. I'm taking Buzz Lightyear. Buzz Lightyear? Yeah, because, look, you give advice with conviction. It doesn't matter if it's right or wrong. And he has conviction with what he's saying. He has turned it around by the fourth. By the end? Yeah.

Yeah, he's kinder and gentler and way more boring. So, you know, you probably get a boring guy who realizes now he's never been to the stars or to infinity or beyond. Look, that's why Mufasa's there, to help him work through it. I'm thinking back through it. Tim Allen is the voice, and Tim Allen is known as the funny guy. He's hysterical. Is he ever funny in Toy Story?

No. No, Buzz Lightyear is not a funny character. He's hysterical. Is he ever funny in Toy Story? No. No. Buzz Lightyear is not a funny character. He's too serious. Okay. He's not the comedy. When he gets the Spanish mode flipped on in Toy Story 3, it's pretty solid. But that's not him doing it.

No. But see, you guys don't understand. The benefit of having Buzz there is for the other host to be able to play off of him. He's always the straight man. He's always giving the advice with such conviction that everybody else is making a joke at his expense. He doesn't even know it. Moon Fossa will have some...

Moon Fossa? I mean, that's who Buzz knows. We'll have some fatherly advice correcting him all the time. Oh, my goodness. Am I the only one that heard Moon Fossa? No, no, I heard it. Okay. All right.

Did I say poop? I did not say poop fossa there's no way i said poop fossa whoops all right you're back you're back all right well this is great news for me i i ordered my list at least i had a top three on my order. And all three are available. This is going to be a smash success podcast. My podcast is all about entertainment. Okay? This isn't, I'm not making, you know, stuff I don't know with Ariel or how to correct Buzz Lightyear.

I'm going to have the most entertaining podcast. My next pick, my second pick, is Olaf. Josh Gad. He's on my list. I'm going to have a hysterical time up in here. I was hoping Olaf would make it back. I mean, the genie and Olaf together, you're just going to be cracking up, having a fun time.

It's wild and zany, man. It's going to be chaos. Oh, you think it's chaos now? Just wait. Because I'm throwing some lighter fluid in here. Because someone is not going to take... Lumiere? No, this is good.

Is not going to take no guff from the genie. No guff from Olaf. They're going to get real, real serious. They're going to be mean-spirited. And it's going to be like a train wreck you can't not watch. You're going to have to put this podcast on. She's big right now. Cruella DeVille. Okay.

Cruella DeVille is coming on board and you're just not going to be able to not listen to this argument that she has with these two funny guys. Let me be clear. Are you on the show with these people? I mean, you're starting it with them, right? Yes, you're on the podcast.

Good luck getting paid, Jason. You think Cruella's not going to launder some of that money? I'm going to be honest with you. I did not realize I was on the podcast. You didn't realize? I thought I was just putting together a... Hold on. Disney characters to start a podcast with.

Yeah, I was like producer. Okay, so the guys I'm starting the podcast with you could produce it that's fine but you're really big into like uh animal coats though uh look that lion coat moon fossa is looking real good over there also that may or may not be true we have we have a new oh that's right we have a new uh canon for cruella i have not seen it yet yet. It's a new one. It's good, man. I get a pick again, right? Yes, you do. Huh.

Well, I think I've committed to the wisdom. Like, there are genres of podcasts. Jason's is clearly entertainment, zany, wild. You don't know what's going to happen. You turn it on to find out. But there is stuff that I don't know with Ariel. There's informational. Mine is leaning itself towards the wisdom side of things

with Mufasa, with Buzz. So I'm going to stay in that vein. I want people to tune in because they're going to hear how to make their life better with the wisest folks out there. So I'm taking Merlin. I'm taking Merlin the wizard.

That's good. I figured that's... How often do you listen to... Jason, right now, how many wizards do you listen to on a podcast? Not enough. Not enough. And lions? I've got zero in my library.

Yeah, exactly. Merlin. We're bringing a team of wise folk together. I didn't go back that far in my mental research. I didn't think about the old classics, but Merlin's great. This is going to be a super informative

boring podcast that you have. You're going to have to stick the landing with number four. Yeah, I'm working on it. The wisest of all Disney characters. Alright, I have a few people here on my list. So I got Maui and Ariel. All right.

I'm going to get the... I like Snide. I like Sarcasm. And this particular fella is incredibly witty. I don't think you have no idea who I'm talking about right here, Jay. Incredibly witty. So he's going to be my comic relief. But it's not genie in your face comic relief. You've got to keep up or you're going to be left in the dust. I'm going to take Jason Bateman, Nick the Fox from Zootopia.

It could be a good pick. You've never seen Zootopia? It could be a good pick. I'd have to see that movie first you've never seen Zootopia no brother I forgot that that's Disney that was my issue I know Nick the Fox but I was thinking wasn't that like Dreamworks or something no that was a Disney film that is a Disney movie but it's not Pixar so that's where it's like it's like Frozen it's Disney okay okay no that's that's fine it's under the radar it's fantastic if you've never seen zootopia with your family ladies and gentlemen you already know bateman can podcast yes so yeah he's got the skills and he he's just he is just enough humor for my podcast and my that would

have been a really good pick to stick the landing for andy's but he can't get him now yeah it, it's true. That's true. He's gone. So he wasn't on the list. Well, you've never seen the movie, right? Uh, so my fourth character and I I've got to take the, I'm producing just like Jason is. And I see a lot of myself, a lot of what I bring to this podcast and the fantasy footballers podcast is I am here just to laugh. I am the laugh track for our shows. I am admittedly an easy laugh. I am proud of it. I don't care.

I like to laugh. You're an easy laugh. I love your laugh. It's very fun. And what we know, I mean, I know this too, when people laugh, you just start laughing with them. It's having a good time. And what other better person to have just be on my show to laugh than Goofy?

I will be taking the master of the laugh. Okay, that makes sense. I will be taking Goofy. He's not going to talk. He's just going to sit. That's good because he would be very annoying. I wonder if that would get old or not. Oh, never.

So, wait. Who's your full podcast team? Now, you're on the show. I'm producing just like Jason. Okay, you're producing. I could be on it too. No, I get it. You're putting the team together.

I got Ariel. Got the Golden Pipes. Maui. A little silky. Keeping that hair silky smooth. Got Nick the Fox for my sarcastic humor related bits and then Goofy just to laugh. That's all he's doing. Alright I

have a hard time with this final pick. I'm between two. I have the perfect pick for you. Oh man I have so many perfect picks for him. But here's the thing. The way I'm looking at. Yeah because you want me to go down. Mickey Mouse. I know I brought up,

I have the wisdom, right? Mufasa, Merlin. I've got the straight shooter, thinks he knows everything, Buzz Lightyear. But podcasts have to have somebody to be inquisitive and curious and try to bring up these topics that need advice. If everybody's just giving advice and nobody needs it, nobody ever brings up all these topics. Like, I don't think Mufasa's bringing these things up. He just, you got to bring it to him. So I need somebody curious. I need somebody that has endless energy.

I need somebody that is smart and can seek answers. So I'm going to go with Ana. Okay. All right. Okay. That's not a bad landing. She's endless energy. She'll bring questions.

And some answers. And some answers. And she'll press them. She's not going to settle for just a token answer from Mufasa or Merlin. She's going to say, no, that doesn't make sense. Everything the light touches, Mufasa? That's right. I'm going to need to be a little bit more specific.

Thank you. That's very generalized. That's exactly what she'll do. She will bring endless energy and information to the podcast. How does the light touch everything but that one area? Yeah. Where do we live? Yeah.

It's hard to tell. How do the elephants die? All right. Okay. Okay. So that's not a bad stick to the landing. I do the elephants die? All right. Okay. So that's not a bad stick to the landing. I know who your last one should be, Jason. Well, my team. So I'm looking.

I got the Genie. I got Olaf. I got Cruella de Vil. So I've already got this crazy group. Hard to get a word in edgewise. And the two people that are next on my list, I don't think I can do because I think it would just be shouting over everyone which was anger from uh from inside out from inside out and the mad hatter which would just become a nightmare can I make one

more suggestion for you you can I think I already know where I'm going but let's let's hear what your suggestion is I didn't take it in hopes that you would take it Iago you want you want to die yeah i would um what's the name of that actor oh uh is that gilbert yeah you need him to the mix i would rather be dead than listen to a show with gilbert godfrey that is just audio. No, I think I need someone who still has a lot of character but can also handle managing some monsters here. Okay? And there ain't no better manager of monsters than Mike Wazowski himself. Oh!

So I think he's probably, my last pick is probably going to be the host of the show with these three crazy cuckoo characters. So wait, am I the Mike? Are you the- Mike Wazowski? Yeah. Yeah, you're the Mike Wazowski. A little bit.

And which one are you? Olaf? I would, sure, Olaf, Sully. Wait, are you talking just from my crew? Yeah. I'm just trying- I'm giving myself a genie. What are you talking about? my crew yeah i'm just trying i mean we obviously what are you talking we obviously have a perfect mix here i just imagine what roles we're filling mike is goofy clearly mike's cruella de vil

all right so you have genie olaf cruella de vil and mike wazowski mike has ariel maui um what's that character nick wilde nick wilde and. I have Mufasa, Buzz, Merlin, and Anna. You know one character, I want to give a shout out. She'd be so great for a podcast, but she doesn't have the name recognition for the polls.

And so she was last. Neither does Nick Wilde. Agreed. Sure, but Edna Mode. Oh yes, She is fabulous. The costumer from The Incredibles. Darling! Oh, man. Her and Cruella? If you put her as your

fourth pick, I mean, that would be a mad tea party. That would be, yeah. The Mad Hatter is just there by proxy. I thought about working, like you did Cruella, I thought about working Captain Hook into the mix. Ursula also would have been. I mean, you've got to have a couple villains on your podcast.

See, I thought for Andy, I thought you put Remy, the rat from Ratatouille. For more in the wisdom realm? Yeah, exactly. I mean, that guy knows some stuff. And his articulation. Yeah, but the articulation of being able to describe things, like when he's talking about his articulation yeah but the articulation of of being able to describe things like when he's talking about mixing flavors i actually care al said grandma willow from pocahontas could have put her in there never saw pocahontas that movie you know how when you're

what's moana's grandmother's name too all the grandmas are so wise all the the water is mischievous yes for sure she was Lana's grandmother was amazing. That movie's so underrated. That movie is so underrated. It's got to be like top five and it's just always talked about as good, but it's never in those topless. Yeah, it's one of my faves. Alright, that is the draft.

What did we learn today? I know what Andy and I learned today. We learned that we're... This is together here, yeah. We learned that Mike is not our friend. Yeah, and we learned it... No, no, no, no. We learned it like a band...

Oh, I'm sorry. We learned... Thank you for correcting me. Because you are our friend. We are not Mike's friend. And we learned it in the band-aid ripping off kind of way. And I learned... I'm not exactly sure what it was, but I learned a whole bunch of things of how to not bite your cheek.

Oh, gosh. Yeah, you become a squirrel and don't bite when you're not eating. You can thank me later, Spitwads. When you've got a bite on your cheek, you're like, oh, my gosh. I think we'll have a lot of feedback today. Twitter, at SpitballersPod, if you want to talk to us about our picks or our cheeks. Goodbye. Bit Cheap.

Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com. We'll see you next time. Hey, Spitwads. Hey. The episode is over. Oh, no. Aw. And there may be others that you could listen to,

but right now you should go to jointhespit.com because you can become an official Spitwad supporter of the show. What? Yeah, you could, Mike. It's true. I've been there. We've made that a possibility at jointhespit.com, and you can add your contributions to the show.

Have a would-you-rather question you want us to maybe put here and discuss? Pa-toing! Or is that you spitting into the spit tank? That was the spit tank. You have access to the spit tank. It sounded like a spittoon. Wait, is that not a spittoon? That is the same thing, right? Oh, that's the same thing. Can sound like a spittoon wait is that not a that is the same

thing right oh that's the same thing yeah can we go to spittoon.com or no we don't own spittoon.com all right but you can go to join the spit.com and become a spitwad that is check it out excellent