Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 170: Big Beeping Busses & The Best Monster Movies - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: October 18, 2021

On this episode, we discuss helping friends move, driving a school bus, and having extremely lucid dreams. Then, in ‘The Situation Room’, we find out what crimes are going to land us life in prison, becoming a supervillain, and huge unflushable poops. We close down this show with a draft of our favorite monster movies. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

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explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Boom, boom, ding-a-day, boom, boom, ba-da-ba-da-boom! What? The low voice.

I feel like you were probably going for something else. Is that a ghost? I couldn't get the volume level at the deep voice that I wanted, so it was real quiet. It was like... Yeah, you were playing the cello over there. Yeah. I thought to myself deep voice would be a nice mix up.

I liked it a lot. But I can't get any volume. Try to yell in a real low voice. Boom. Hey. Hey, you guys. Welcome into the Spitballers episode 170. You're welcome, everybody.

Would you rather situation room and a spooky scary terrifying find a hiding place type of draft at spitballers pod on Twitter's Instagram dot com slash spitballers pod if you want to

follow us over there on the old IG and if you're watching the show on YouTube, you're doing it at youtube.com slash spitballers. Yes, you are. And you're watching Bubble Thor. He's at it again. We can't stop him. Nothing you can do. Boom, boom, boom.

See, I actually like that version better because that's got the rhythm. That's got boom, boom, boom. Yeah, I mean, look, better because that's got the rhythm. That's got... Yeah, I mean, look, man, you get one shot. I didn't get a workshop. You threw it away. I guess. You were not a fan. Mike seemed to be okay with it.

I like it. It tickled my fancy. I can get it. All I'm saying is I really like the renditions after the fact. The boom, boom, boom, boom, boom the the boom boom boom boom well now you're just singing a blues bass line yeah it just doesn't work that's pretty good they should do that all right let's get this thing going would you rather all right denaldio from the website would you rather have to move into a new home every year

for the next 10 years or help someone move every weekend for the next year that's a bad year but that's also a bad 10 years you have to move every year can it at least be in the winter now i know that in some places in the country, that would be like the worst. But moving in the summer in Arizona is almost a death sentence. It's 75,000 people a year in Arizona pass away from moving in the summer. 75,000. Yes. It's my favorite time of year to hire someone to move me.

Oh, but here's the problem. If you're helping someone move every weekend. You're getting all the weather. You're getting the entirety of the summer. If you hired someone to move in Arizona in the summer, are you now, like, are you a hit man? Yes. You manslaughter charges have been brought against people.

Because it's not safe. Every weekend is 52 days, right? A year that you are moving somebody well 52 times yes 52 times yes 52 days a year and if you have sometimes a move is multiple days sure so it's maybe even more that i'm just trying to math it out where like if i move and have to move every year my whole house that's a lot more than a week of There's at least a two-month period after you move where you're putting stuff away. If you know you're moving in a year,

do you ever actually unpack? So, I mean, if you have to move every single year, you are never fully setting up your house, maybe once or twice, and then you go, this is for the birds, I'm never doing that again, and then you're just living in a suitcase. I don't know. I think you might do that the first year or the second year,

but eventually you're going to say, you know what? We're moving every year for a decade. I'm not going to live out of a suitcase. So you move and you unpack everything right away to maximize what you're going to get. I mean, the reality is this is simple math like Andy's saying. That's too many days. You're talking about 10 times versus 52 times. And let me tell you one other problem here with the every weekend.

We had a – our kids were just in a theater production, and they had like a two-month period, maybe three months, where they had rehearsals. Was this a residency? Don't get me started. I mean, it was like they should be paid and have their equity card. We paid to put them in it. But anyways.

You're a fool. After a lot of 50-hour weeks. You chose this. They had a fantastic show. Aren't there child labor laws? No, they can get around them when we pay to put them in you can sing and dance as long as you want

no lunch for you but every single Saturday every single weekend we had that obligation okay and it sucks so much to realize that you can't ever plan a weekend getaway at like, you know, we, we have a cabin. Nope. You can't see that. You, you, you want to go to a staycation?

Nope. You've always got this like obligation. So that means for an entire year, you're a mover. I mean, that's a part-time job. Let me ask this question, Jason. Jason's children, please turn off the podcast if you're listening. Okay, they've turned it off now. What would you rather do on a Saturday? Okay. Do all of that nonsense. Shuttle back and forth.

Where you're shuttling, having to sit there. You're probably sitting in a parking lot. Sometimes, absolutely. For a long, long time. Yeah. Or help your best friend move for two hours. I am shuttling. I am shuttling and driving no problem.

I thought I had him. No, helping someone move is, Andy has nailed this on the head. We have learned as we have grown into our adulthood that when family members move the best gift that you can give them as a house you know it's sometimes there's the obligation of getting a housewarming gift get them movers what a wonderful treat for them and also for me because um you'll get thanks from all the other family members absolutely in fact it would have been invited all the family members help chip in yes and get movers for for old sister-in-law or whoever you have an intervention with the person that asks you to move and everybody else

is there and they look at you and you say we've all decided that we're gonna get you movers because we don't want to do this that's right so i It's not bad. I am definitely moving once a year for a decade. I think so, too. What if you can't hire movers? It's fine. I would rather do that once a year. Also, imagine the equity I'm taking out every year. After 10 years, I'm living in a mansion.

No, you're not. The tax man's getting you, bro. That's not long-term. Oh, it's not long-term. You've got to move every two years, every year. You still make money. No, you're not. The tax man's getting you, bro. That's not long term. Oh, it's not long term. You got to move every two years, every year. You still make money. That's right, America. That's good.

You were turning into a comedy podcast. You didn't know you were getting tax advice on real estate. You'd become a minimalist. If you knew you were moving once a year, every year, you would have the bare essentials. It'd be a good thing. All right. Geraldo from Patreon. essentials it'd be a good thing all right uh heraldo from patreon would you rather drive a school bus or a prius for the rest of your life rather than your commute so for your commuter and

family vehicle so you have to choose one oh man there's literally only one place that you should drive a prius and that's off a cliff uh have you ever operated any type of vehicle that resembles the size of a school bus? Yes. What? Well, here's the deal. A full- No, a minivan does not count. No, I know a minivan does not count, but I have had the full-

A full-size van does not count. No, the full-size U-Haul, like the 20-foot- That does not count as a bus. That should absolutely count. No, no, no, no, no. The full-size? No way., like the 20-foot. That does not count as a bus. Oh, it absolutely counts. No, no, no, no, no. The full-size? No way. With the van front or with the semi-truck back?

It's like the semi-truck back. Resident man of the show, Al Borland, compare that to a school bus. I'm with you, Jay. I would actually let it count. Yeah, it's close enough. I mean, you're talking about, let me look, because I've gotten their biggest. Like a 26-foot truck. Yeah, I mean, that is a monster.

Yeah, 26 foot. I'd rather drive a school bus than that. Yeah, and it's not fun. I mean, it is not fun. How long was your drive? It would have been from west side to east side, so an hour and 15 minutes, because you can't go even up to the speed limit in those suckers. You're driving so slow.

Let me give a shout out to the most school bus drivers. Yes. I was going to say not just school bus, but city bus. One of the most impressive things I've ever been a part of was two separate heroes in the world, which was I went on. I went to a trip overseas to Europe, to Israel, and I was part of a tour bus. And this guy navigated this bus, which was the size of 50 cars. It's a superpower. And it was unbelievable.

And then in Chicago, I'm on the buses there. They dip in and out of these spots and around cars like Jeff Gordon, like a race car driver. I've never been more impressed with a skill than driving a bus that precisely. And it is a skill that I do not have. Oh, man, you're hitting stuff. I will say, too, that the U-Haul, you're going to cool the cab of that thing down a lot easier than you are a bus. Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah. You have any school buses that had air conditioning? Because we did not. No, I've never seen them. This was windows down, but there was the line. You're not allowed to put the window down past the line in the middle, except we did because we were cool. Do you want to know why they tell you not to do that, too?

So you don't fall out? They tell you the horror story that we got? Oh, the horror story of hair. Someone put their hair out. Is that what it is? They got their scalp ripped off. This cannot be a real. This story was used to scare kids.

I believe this is a nationwide story, and it happened at your school. Yep. You've heard this story? Oh, the girl with the luscious locks hanging out, and it got caught in a tree as you were driving. Yeah. I mean, this terrifying, horrific, murderous story you're telling these kids to keep your arms and legs oh yeah and then the the scalp just ripped off the i mean could you

imagine that though like a scalp ripped off i mean it didn't because it didn't ever happen it was a made-up story monster story made up for a lot of urine in school buses because kids are peeing their pants now we all heard that man okay i have so many questions yeah no i i didn't i did not receive that treatment yeah ours was simply because we had kids throwing scissors out the back of the window at the crossing guards which i've told that story before so i don't blame them for not wanting the windows down so they told you guys a story. That a girl. That a young lady had her hair get stuck in a tree or something.

And instead of her hair ripping out, the scalp actually ripped off her body. I mean, it wasn't good for her. That doesn't seem like what would actually happen. Well, we were afraid of it. Those windows stayed nice and high. It seemed like what would actually happen. Well, we were afraid of it. Those windows stayed nice and high.

I would open the window, but I would not. You followed the line? Oh, there's trees everywhere, apparently. Like, there's no trees in Arizona. That's the funniest part. And what kind of hair did you even have? There's no trees on the side of the road. Why is Rapunzel on the school bus? Seriously.

But, I mean, it was effective because I did not. I knew that if I put a pinky out of that window it's gone um it's just that's a nightmare zone out there there's saws out there i do have a follow-up here yes i have a follow-up through a death room yes that's right we've installed guillotine blades at the top of the outside of the window. If you stick anything out, we will drop it. Here's the reality. I just looked up the average length of a school bus. Okay. I've driven the full-size, very difficult to drive, 26-foot U-Haul.

I've done that, I think, three times in my life. Three too many times. Three too many times. The average school bus length is 35 feet. Whoa. The average up to 45 feet for full-size school buses. I'm taking a W on this one. That sounds like a very different.

Those are very different. I had no idea that a full-size school bus was 45. Have you never seen a school bus? I don't know if you knew this, but you can never, if you stand at the back of the bus, you cannot see the front. Because of the curvature of the earth, yeah. Yes, of course. You can see the horizon halfway through that bus.

I mean, that is... Most buses are citywide. Do you know, obviously, obviously I could not take this thing through a drive-in, which already... Drive-through? You can take a Prius through a drive-through. Yeah, you can take a Pri thing through a drive-in, which already... Drive-thru? You can take a Prius through a drive-thru. Use that to look up.

You could take a Prius through a drive-thru. A Prius has air conditioning. A Prius is going to have a whole lot better gas mileage. It's much better for the Earth. It's not going to fit your kids, though, right? It's better for the Earth, for sure. No, Priuses actually have a lot of room inside. Multiples are called Prii.

Prii. Yeah, you could fit a lot of humans in a pre-I. So I'm definitely taking the bus here because I'd rather be dead. There's no way. Give me the Prius. Yeah, I'll take the Prius. I will run over your Priuses with my 45-foot bus. You will never catch us.

We'll hide in a tunnel. You'll never get in. I will wait until you are parked at home in the driveway. We'll roll over it like it's a monster truck show. Alright, Newt from Twitter. After a 30 point turn. Yes. It's hard to get

onto your street, man. Oh no, a cul-de-sac. What do I do? My nemesis. We meet again. Oh man. Do school buses beep when they back up? They have to. I mean, yeah, it seems like they have to.

They stop at railroad crossings. I know that. Oh, and legit, you get the stop sign. Can I ask a question about the stop sign? Dude, that's great because if I stop, you have to stop. Legally, you have to stop. I have so much control with a school bus. I'm just going to do

that as I go down the street, just unexpected stops. Confused people? What if you drive with it? Open. Oh, man. If I saw a school bus driving with an open. Is that like having a siren on? I don't know. Everyone has to stop. This was my question, since

we'll stay here forever. How powerful is that stop sign? How wide of a road do you have to obey it? All the way? If it's an eight-lane road? If it is a split road where there is a median in the middle and the two lanes do not connect, there's no turn lane in between, and a school bus is stopped on one side of it,

you are by law supposed to stop on the other. Wait, if there's a median, I'm supposed to stop? You are still supposed to stop. So no matter what? Basically, no matter what. If there's a school bus stopped with the stop sign. That's not true of firefighters and stuff, right? Like siren things, you don't have to do that.

Oh, yeah. Who wins? No, a median, you're not supposed to. I mean, you don't need to. Yeah. So I guess school bus is a greater sign. sign more important they got to get these kids there's no limit to that stop sign any direction unlimited power vision i mean if i can't see it i don't know to stop so you know if it's around the corner no you ever blown one of those off on accident? On accident? No. On purpose?

Because I did, and that bus driver wanted to murder me. Yes. And he did. I remember riding with my cousin. He had just turned 16, so he had just gotten his license. And I remember us, like all the kids were gone. The sign was still out, so we went, and that bus driver, I mean, it was daggers out of that person's eyes.

You got a horn. It's a mortal sin. Into our souls. Now, here's the cool part of the story, and we'll conclude it here. Jason was completely wrong. That is not the law. Oh, but what if it was? No, with the median, you are not required to stop

if the bus is traveling towards you, and the median or other physical barrier separates the roadway. Okay. But if there's not a median? Oh, but if they're coming towards you. Yeah, if there's not a median, you need to stop. Okay. That's still very powerful.

And I don't know if I can say no. I have definitely stopped. What if you're on the freeway? If you're on the freeway and a bus stops, yes, everyone comes to a stop on the freeway. That's where you could use that power. All right, let's move on. Newt from Twitter.

Would you rather have super vivid, realistic dreams, which include nightmares, every single night or never dream again? Oh. It's a good question. I feel like it's a pretty easy question because I have... You want to pretty easy question because I have. You want to roll the dice?

I definitely want to roll the dice. I dream a regular amount. I dream a dream. Yes. Thank you. Yes. Is that cats? No, that's Les Mis.

Les Mis. Oh, it is? Yeah. I was thinking of a. Also, I'm going to count that as the first win on a song against Mike Everett. Yeah, you got me. I was thinking of also... Also, I'm going to count that as the first win on a song against Mike Everett. Yeah, you got me. I was thinking of also Man of La Mancha. You were thinking of Memory from Cats, I bet.

Yeah, that was it. Memory. Yes, that was it. I don't know any Cat songs. It's one of my greatest attributes. Yes, you do. You know Memory. But anyways...

Memory. Memory. I think I dream an average amount, which I would say is about once a week. So you mean you remember your dreams? Sure. Maybe I dream every single night and I don't remember them. Do I? Yes.

Is that for sure? Yes. Everyone. Just a minute ago, bus drivers had to stop no matter the size of the median. To be fair, that was you saying that, not me. We talk. He fact checks. We correct later.

Keep in mind, Jason and I have severe sleep apnea, so we don't ever really hit. Oh, you don't rim? I think I rim about once a week because that's when I dream. It's funny because if you have a really vivid dream, good or bad, you can carry it into the day. Like I've had dreams where they're so vividly real. Cause when you're describing this, these are super vivid, realistic.

If you believed what was happening in that dream was really happening and you wake up, sometimes it takes hours to get over that. Like I've had a dream where something happens to the kids and I'm messed up for like hours. So you are rolling the dice but dreams are also potentially cool but what if you have a cool dream you wake up thinking i wish it was real so then you're disappointed but let me ask you this

do you enjoy i mean obviously there's there's some out there. So I'll just clarify. Like, I love a good zombie apocalypse nightmare. Okay. Like, I have them. And it's in the moment. In the moment, it is absolutely terrifying. But, you know, you have them from time to time. But you wake up and you go, oh, holy crap. That was insane.

Because it was real. Like that's the closest we will, maybe virtual reality will get there. But the closest you're going to get to some of these scenarios is just living it out in your dreams. So, I mean, most nightmares, in the moment it's insane and it's out of control and you're terrified. But I'm saying that moment when you wake up and you realize it wasn't real, but you got to experience it. Then I look back and I go, well, that was actually kind of cool. I was kind of into that. What's funny is that if you have a nightmare, waking up is good because you're relieved.

If you have a nice dream, waking up is bad because it didn't come true. There are definitely those dreams where you wake up and you go, close my eyes, take me back. Take me back. Oh, man. Yeah, but. And dreams are 100% real to you in the moment. Like you said, virtual reality might get there, but you're never going to be convinced in a virtual reality machine that it's reality yeah you may be like oh this is really amazing tech but you're always going to know you're entering that world yeah but i'll

bet you'd forget i bet you'd get lost in it you know what i mean like will we get maybe eventually will we get there that we'll be able to our kids might to neural link inside and you know that before you go in it's i mean like you're playing uh the game with michael douglas you know that before you go in, it's like you're playing the game with Michael Douglas. You know you're signing up for something, but you don't know what it is, and all of a sudden you're in it, and it is real. I definitely think we'll get to that point. Andy's shaking his head no.

No, I was promised Super VR by 2000. I mean, flying cars were talked about in the 60s. We're not getting there. We might not get there, but we as a people, the universal we will get there. They'll be too loud. Flying cars, it's too loud. Is that the problem? Yes, 100%.

Have you heard a drone? Have you heard a loaded drone? No, imagine that's a car. I've never once in my entire life thought about cars being too loud in the sky. I don't think that's the reason. Oh, that's the reason. It'll be stupid. I feel like it's more air traffic control.

Wait, are helicopters too loud? Helicopters are crazy loud, man. Yeah, but you don't... Have you ever had a helicopter like buzz? I'm not saying they're buzzing your house, but buzz your house because they're so low. I'm not saying they're not loud. I'm just saying you don't think about it

when you're in them. How many helicopters have you been in? Zero. Yeah. You know what you wear when you're in a helicopter? Headphones. You wear hearing protection. Yeah, that's true.

They call them headphones. You're rocking it. I think they just like music. Let me change this. Let me change this question. They're real stylish. Those headphones were in the 50s? Yeah, Beats by Drake.

How about this? How about this? I'm going to change the would you rather real quick, and then we'll move on? Yeah, Beats by Drake. How about this? How about this? I'm going to change the would you rather real quick, and then we'll move on. I don't even remember what the question was. Well, it was the dream, super realistic dreams or never dream again. But I want to change it to this. You get to pick your dream, any dream. You load the software before you go to bed, which is amazing, right?

If you could load that up. This is total recall stuff. Five days a week. But the other two are random, horrific nightmares. Would you take that or never dream again? Five to two? Five to two. Sign me up, brother.

Yeah, that's really good odds. I'll take that ratio. If you give me a, it's every week, random chance, and I don't know. It's either three to four or four to three, but I don't know. Sign me up, brother. You don't care. Oh, three. But I don't know. Sign me up, brother. I don't care. Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

Okay. I mean, bad dreams might be a weight loss technique. You might sweat through the whole thing. That sounds great, too. All right. Put me in one of those vibration suits where you lose weight. Wait, tell me more. You have to have heard of those. I have never, ever heard of what you're saying.

You've seen the ones that send the pulses through your body? What? And you walk around, but you're kind of shaking all the time? They claim that you're... Where it's just the guy standing there getting so sweaty. And he's like, I'm working out. But he's just standing there and it's... What?

You've never heard of this? No, but tell me more. Because I buy this immediately. You've never... Owl Boyland. Owl, you've heard of this, right? Vibration suit? These have been around forever.

And they just keep... Well, then why are there still so many fat people? Maybe because they don't work, Jason. They just make you sweaty. They just make you sweaty. Well, you look that up and we'll move into the situation room. Hey, Andy. Yeah? How much do you love nuts.com uh 100 million percent yeah me too nuts.com it's the best kept secret of savvy snackers across the country guess what we are uh we're savvy snackers bro we are super duper savvy snack i have no i'm not

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Terms apply available at Nuts.com slash terms. The Situation Realm. Here's the situation. Ethan from Twitter writes in, and we're here to help, Ethan. Aliens offer to take you to explore the far reaches of the universe. Okay, I'm interested. You will be safe. Okay.

And they will bring you back, right back to this moment, having not aged at all. But you will mentally experience it as a 20-year voyage. Wait. So you're living 20 years. So I'm the same. Is everybody else the same, or is this the flight of the navigator? Everything's the same when you come back. In fact, you're the same when you come back physically.

But you're basically leaving for 20 years, then you get transported right back to that moment. So you get 20 years of exploring the universe. That's a long time. That's a very long time. And mentally, you're going through 20 years worth of travel and whatever you go through. But when you come back, your family has an age. Do you have an age?

You have an age physically. So literally, you're just... You're on it. This is just gaining 20 extra years of life. And not only 20 extra years of life, but life... Without your family. Oh, I get them back. I get them back. 20 years, though.

You don't see them for 20 years. But 20 years, you've lived a full lifetime without your family. You have already learned how to live. You'll spend forever missing them, but you'll have learned how to live without them. I mean, if I told you right now you can go play in an arcade for 20 years, and then when you come back, everyone's the same age, would you do that? How much money do I get in the arcade? How many games are there?

Am I charged? Is it tokens? Is it free play? Am I going in there with 20 bucks, and then this is going to be a bad 20 years? Wait, is there ticket games? Is there claw machines? I mean, maybe you start another alien family out there. So, okay, I see your point of the arcade.

But I'm not just having the 20 years. But I'm committed to Omegalon number five in my alien life. If the experience isn't good enough, it's not worth that gap. I get that. But this sounds like a pretty cool experience, man. Look at the universe. Honestly, the only problem that I see is the distance that grows between you and your family. Because it will be there when you come back.

Oh, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Not when you're at the far reaches of the universe, man. And you're seeing stuff. I would do it. And the reason is because leaving my family wouldn't affect them. Exactly. They would not think I'm gone. And so I would get to share 20 years worth of cool stories.

The stories you would have when you come back. The life experience. Nobody will believe you. Yeah, because it's like... Watch, Jay. I just went. I just got back. Tell me more. Yeah, I just spent 20 years on another planet. You'll have stories that people can't fathom.

It happened. About Ebulon or whatever her name was. It's Omixulan number nine. Here's the thing. You could retell those stories not as... And she's beautiful. To me. This is not Omixilon number seven.

The ugly sister. She'll never be wed. No, not number seven. Gross. The head's on her that's a good name for a for an alien for an alien woman um you were saying something i uh i was i had a thought oh yeah like. Instead of saying that I left and I have all these experiences, just tell them as fictional stories. Sure. You have 20.

Now I'm coming back and I'm an author. Now I'm a playwright, a movie writer, a director, and I can bring things in that they could only dream about. The technology I've seen firsthand. Oh, they thought teleportation was a thing. You don't need teleportation when you have. I got a problem. Okay.

Okay. Is everything going to stink and be boring for you? My brain went there. I'm with you. If you grew up, it's the old C.S. Lewis. If you just grew up playing in mud puddles and then you go to a holiday on the sea and you have to go back to the mud puddles, life isn't the same. It's almost like a PTSD coming back.

You're just like, oh, man, Earth is boring. Do you remember the old- You can do this right now. The internet's gone, Jason. Well, that sucks. The internet, it never existed. I mean, it did. Oh did all right you take that away because you you got to go see that there's the information is unlimited at your fingertips whatever you want

to know you can know because the internet exists but now it's gone for everybody for yes for everybody okay but you know it you you experienced it yeah but you know what sometimes those simple muddy puddles are are actually better can they be in the muddy puddles can't you the the phrase is you can never go home and it would be really hard if you saw 20 years there's no place like home 20 years worth of experiencing other worlds other other your atmosphere other plants you're a star lord like you are star lord from guardians of the galaxy except except you come back and you're now you're just jason moore now i'm dad and i'm fine with that i'm definitely doing this i'm taking the experience my family won't have i hope here's my hope i hope that my family will get an even better man

when I get back you know what I mean like I'll have more experiences more what about all the epsilon I mean I'm taking the five out of seven dreams so I will remember her five times a week all right we're moving on

Kendall from Twitter the tentacles wow men in suits All right, we're moving on. Kendall from Twitter. Ah, the tentacles. Wow. Men in suits and sunglasses interrupt the Spitballers podcast and are going to take you into custody. They say you have to spend a certain amount of years in prison based on your crime. What?

But they give you the choice of which of your crimes to be punished. Here are your choices. options four months for each terms and agreement that that you've agreed to without reading oh man took me a second to understand okay yeah i'm following so you get a four month term for every time you've agreed to a terms or agreement without reading 4 000 months six months for every time you've agreed to a terms or agreement without reading 4 000 months six months for every time you've peed without washing your hands okay or one year for every time you've forgotten your password on the first attempt wow okay so obviously the the least common the forgotten i mean i mean washing you know i never forget to wash my hands the least common uh only gets you six months yes

not not even covid can get guys to wash their hands after they pee i look at washing your hands after you pee the exact same way i do like like signaling and following rules of the road when no cars are around. Like there's a little bit of like, there's a little bit of habit. There's a little bit of muscle memory. Yeah. But there's also a little bit of subjectivity. Like if it's safe.

Yeah. Right. Like it's not, there's no purpose. I don't need to signal if no one's around that, that handle on that water might be getting my hand dirtier when I turn it off. Thank you. Yeah yeah of course germs

germs don't just like leap out of these places if it if it looks clean if i'm in a hurry if i didn't touch anything i shouldn't have touched well look i know how the law works okay the law is very specific here and they say you get six months for every time you've peed without washing your hands i'm never getting out of jail yeah you just just like just like you two i'll be the one who says it you're never ever getting out of jail you are dying there especially if you count your days as a kid can you like have parole for good behavior i mean i'm in life good behavior i'm in for life just based on two days ago. Dang.

Oh, man. I mean, I've forgotten my password on the first attempt a lot. And the terms, I still haven't read the terms in agreement. Yeah. But I haven't. I just realized all three of these are life in prison. Are life in prison. This is straight up life in prison.

That's all it is. And why are they wearing their sunglasses inside when they come to stop this podcast? So you can't see their eyes. We can run away. They won't find us. I can go stand in a dark corner. Bumper from Patreon. You are teleported to an alternate universe and now must live the life of a supervillain.

Oh, excellent. Finally. However, there's good news. Mike took that as the good news. I'm with him. Oh, excellent. Finally. However, there's good news. Mike took that as the good news. I'm with him. Oh, wait. This gets even better? You get to pick who you will become.

Who are you secretly excited to be? What? So you're picking your, like... What supervillain would you want to be? Who is the best supervillain? Okay. Lex Luthor is very wealthy. Lex Luthor was great.

Super smart. He came to the top of mind. He came to the luther was great super smart he came to the top of mine he came to the top of mine and magneto came to the top of mind because being able to control metal meg okay this is this is have your platform i i see it you need to speak magneto ellie look i'm okay uh admittedly um i never got into the comic books. I love the culture, so this is not me shaming them. This is me saying I just never got into all of the series and everything. Magneto, to me, has always felt like a fully underutilized supervillain. If you can control actively all metals around you, how are you not a god? You are invincible.

You should be invincible. That is 100%. That breaks down with every superhero and supervillain, though. This is one of the things that always gives me the eye roll. Like, we were watching Loki, right? Like, we're going through Loki for the first time. He's the god of mischief. He has magical

power he has some yes some right he'll still punch you nine times out of ten then he'll use it then he'll punch you 15 more times then he'll use the magic but his magic is tricks it's like if you're Superman why wouldn't you oh super because Superman's the worst yeah but why wouldn't you use your like laser

vision every two seconds yeah that's called the boys because he's not the guy from the boys he's not a super villain if you use your laser vision every two seconds? Yeah. Because he's not the guy from The Boys. He's not a supervillain. If you use your eye power every time, you're straight up a supervillain no matter what. My point is that for a lot of these, it seems like you run on empty. You get to use one charge, and then you're done for the day. The biggest superpower that that speaks. Do you guys remember the show Heroes back in the day? Oh, that that speaks like i remember do you guys

remember the show heroes back in the day oh that first season of that was great it was it was incredible the cheerleader and then they brought in a problem that took the whole show down but do you know what the problem was they brought in someone who could time travel and oh yeah you want to talk about the most underutilized unrealized like there were there's no problem there's no problem you can't undo but they didn't do it they're like oh how are we gonna get out of this one dude just go back you know like this is so easy you know what just go back and it's like they didn't have and they have a whole season trying to figure out the answer to the problem. It's like the whole.

If only we could go back to when this started. Let's build a time machine. Yeah. And then it's like, oh, maybe they'll use the power halfway through the season, go back a day. And it's like, dude, just go to the beginning. That one is super underutilized. But that's Mike's point, I think, is that when you have these, and your point, I think we're all saying the same thing. When there is an unfathomably powerful power,

you can't utilize it to its fullest in these shows. Because it breaks the show. Because it breaks the show. I've been watching The Flash, and it's like, and his super fastest. He's underutilized. I've been on this show, I think I've used this platform. Time travel, you could have an argument there.

But at least the way that super speed has been relayed is that time travel might be part of super speed. Like super speed, it's the strongest power of all super powers to me. But then every episode he gets hit in the face. No, you wouldn't. Every single one. Anyways, I'm going Magneto. I think that would be really cool. Oh, that's such a good one.

I don't care which one I am as long as my featured role is to slowly turn around in a high back chair and pet. Oh, like Dr. Claw? Yeah, he's taking Dr. Claw for sure. And I want henchmen that are the dumbest. I want them to come in quivering, and I have to say, you know, you idiot. But then I never take responsibility, and I send them back out there. But some of them get dropped into a shark pit, of course.

I got more. There's more of them. There's definitely a button on your desk that you hit frequently you turn around and the big red button boom imbecile you could use fun words yeah i mean i'm thanos i don't know i don't know how that's a good point darn it my stupid little metal tricks all right mark from the website one more you go into your multi-stall bathroom at work, and there is no one in there. However, it is very clear that someone was recently in there, and that they had a, quote, bad bowl.

Yep, okay. You go to the wall and get done as fast as you can and start to wash your hands. The wall? The urinal, I think, is what he is saying. He never reads these. He just pays them. Who's peeing on the wall? You go take a whiz on the wall.

I interpreted that as a urinal as well. All right. You go over to the urinal and get done as fast as you can. You start to wash your hands so you can escape the bad bowl's smell. Sure. While washing your hands, someone else walks into the bathroom. How do you convince that person that the bad bowl effect that they're about to experience was not you? Easy.

You go back to the wall. You washed first. Yeah. Oh, double P. It was a pre-clean. Yeah, I just came in. I had something on my hands. Oh, you know what?

I still got to go to the bathroom. That's what you do. You just hope that there's the separators. Huh? Because otherwise. What if they catch you on the way out, but they recognize you? Because you could pass in the doorway, and you work in the same office, so they're definitely because you could pass in the doorway and you work in the same office. So they're definitely coming into that room and knowing, thinking it's you.

You've just established dominance. Dumpinance. Yeah. Yes. Thank you. Well, if that's the case, I do. You take it. You claim it.

When you open the door and the person's walking in and there's no way to go back. You're already finished. You're leaving. You got to stare them down. You're leaving. You got to stare them down. You're following. You don't give them a wink? Do you not? No.

I am intensely. I am looking them in the eyes the entire way in and I'm turning my head as they walk in so they know this was me. This is when I throw somebody else under the bus. This is. Yeah. Ted took a dump and that'll be it have you guys ever experienced uh going into a bathroom and seeing just uh a dropping of just like a proportion that you couldn't physically oh in the toilet yeah it's

just oh no it's still there a non-flflush. Just an unflushed giant poop? Yeah. Yeah. What's that story? I don't think I ever heard of it. I was reminded of camp as a teen, and all of a sudden- Crazy things happen at camp. All of a sudden, reports start filing out.

Dude, you've got to see this turd. No. You've got to see it. people are inviting people to see it yes and it did not disappoint is there any chance that this was multiple people adding to the story themselves there is no chance of that but there is a chance that a bear learned how to use a human toy because or a horse you saw this firsthand. Oh, yeah. This thing was... You took tickets? Did they sell tickets to this?

People took photos of this thing. It was... I'm grossed out. I'm sorry, but it was just... This is real life, okay? We're peeling back the curtain. We're talking real life. I'm talking from floor to ceiling.

This thing was out of the water. Oh, I've done one of those. I've done it out of the water. And we done one of those. I've done it out of the water. We're talking circumference. OK. Circumference. Listen I'm taking a photo. Toilet hole circumference. This is bad. This is bad. Can I please help. Listen what was I going to say. People are here for this. What did you say, Al? You just texted me something that you wanted to announce. I said, to be fair, a bear poop and a Jason poop are in distribution.

Here's what I was going to bring it back to. Because this is how I'm going to. I'm very proud of one thing in my life. I have yet to come to the point where I would go to the bathroom and feel the need to run away without flushing the toilet. I can tell you I have never done number two and felt like leaving the stall without a flush. Because as far as I'm concerned, when I go to the bathroom, number two,

I want it to go away as much as anybody else would. Absolutely. I don't want to hang out with this any longer than it needs. I've done the mid-bowl flush. I mean, we all want it to go away. It's a promo. So what happened to this person that made them run away? Are they under attack?

I can tell you. The fact that you could flush and it would not go. That's what I'm saying. Oh, they're afraid. Oh, I've had one of those too. Jason, were you at my camp? It might have been. I might have been.

Were you at Big Bear? Look look this is they call way tmi but i've had two in my life that are two you've had both proud moments one unflushable one unflushable one unflushable and one totally out of the water that was that movie with spacey right unflushable that's right the unflushables, unbelievable. Because, okay, imagine this. So did you not flush? No, I flushed 100 times, but I can't get to the hole. Imagine a log over a river, okay?

It just doesn't go down. You could walk across it. The log isn't breaking. So there's just all the water flushes, the toilet paper's gone, and you're left with the log over the river. That's exactly what it was. I've done it. One of my proudest moments.

I don't know how much. You broke a toilet. I broke a toilet. They made for them. That's right. That's right, I did it. Okay. If you're still with us, it's time to draft.

The Spitballers Draft. I have no transitions. I just gave you one. Speaking of monsters, we're drafting the best monster movies. I took a video. That's the 101. Well, we are drafting monster movies. Which monster would take the biggest dump?

I got nothing, Al. I've got no way to soften this one. No, you couldn't soften it. That was impossible. That was the problem. Nothing, Al. I've got no way to soften this one. No, you couldn't soften it. That was impossible. That was the problem. Al is now coughing. Who's got the first pick?

You do. That's you. I would recommend the Unflushables. Luckily, I have no videos of that of that kind monster movies we we had a discussion beforehand which was kind of like how do you define a monster movie jason had like not really expanded his definitions and uh i'm yeah because i'll start i originally when i thought about monster movies i and i've seen after doing a little bit of research i've seen that there's kind of a subcategory that i took as the main category which is giant monster movies like they're you know where every monster is just a uh a skyscraper sized problem and that is a subcategory so monster movies are just basically things with non-humans that are terrible monsters.

Yeah, and a good monster movie to me is one that, and the reason I'm going to take this pick at- Kaiju. You expect the Kaiju monster movies. Yes. Yes, Jason, is the answer. To me, a good monster movie is one that has a level of suspense and buildup. Before a reveal, ominous creature, you're hiding from it there's a lot of the the scary elements and there are several that fit the bill and it's kind of stinks having the first pick

because i don't know if there's a clear one-on-one here but um i'm gonna go with aliens i think okay i think the aliens movies sure alien aliens i think that is like a perfect definition of a monster movie where the the terror is so great you put yourself in that person's position hiding from them the monster was so terrifying you got a mouth in a mouth that's coming after you you got it coming out of your body i mean it was just i'm gonna go with aliens as the 101 you don't know you can yeah it's it you don't know who you can trust. Yeah. It's a fantastic choice.

What's interesting about monster movies is it can be a horror movie. It can be an action movie. It could be a thriller. Into the world. Yeah, exactly. All right. So I'm going to... Oh, man. It's so tough.

Yeah, it is very tough because you have the aspect of our draft here where I feel like I'm playing the game. And I don't – oh, which one would make it back? It's tough. There's a lot of good ones. All right, I'll just – And there's some classics. So there's two that I think may not make it back from Jason,

but I'll take the one that I think is the actual better movie. Recency bias, don't care, because this was an event. I don't think a movie theater is necessary for all films. Oh, no. Yeah, no, I'm sorry, Hollywood. No, no, I'm saying oh, no, because I think I know what you're going to pick, and I thought it would easily get back to me. Oh, okay.

Well, this one was an event that you had to take in the theater with multiple people because being in this room with scary crap happening and it is just 100% deathly silent in this theater was an experience that no other movie has has matched so i will take a quiet place it is on my list it would not i thought i'd get it it would not have been drafted by me you could have gotten that back um i i'm still i still am skewed a little bit when it comes when i think of monster movies i want a monster versus monsters. You know what I mean? Oh, okay.

You don't want to be monsters versus people? Yeah, I want the world against a monster, or maybe a monster against monsters. So I'm taking Godzilla. Godzilla's my one-on-one. If I think of a monster movie, that is what comes to mind. Matthew Broderick. There's probably 50 Godzilla movies. You can very easily besmirch the Matthew Broderick Godzilla because it was terrible.

Oh, because it was terrible. Yeah. I loved it. You did? Yeah, because I don't think there's actually a legit good film. Yes, the new ones are good. I do like the new one, the King of the... What is it? Godzilla King of the Monsters? Yeah.

Yeah, that was solid. See? It's got it in the title. Well, it doesn't matter. You already took Godzilla starring Matthew Broderick. That's fine. Godzilla. The OG.

Well, the OG. It's a monster performance by Matthew Broderick. And now for my second one. Yes, the OG. The first time they ever made Godzilla in the 90s. I'm saying the OG title. It's just Godzilla. Okay.

That's all I'm saying. Okay. All right, so now for my second one, I'm trying to decide. There's one movie that I really, really, really want. I think I can get it with my last pick. I don't think it'll be on either of your guys' lists. It is absolutely probably my favorite to watch of all of these. So I'm going to wait. I'm going to play the game, game let that come back to me or i will cry when you draft them um i'm gonna take

just the classic of all classics uh one of all three of our favorite movies jurassic park sure uh the ultimate it probably would not have made it past me no i don't think that would have got back to me and and the two that i want, I think they will both come back to me. What are they? So I will start with Godzilla and Jurassic Park. Okay, that's a good pick. Okay, now this is interesting. Because the list is very large.

What movies does Andy like of the monster movies because you're trying to play the game i am not have me i am steal one of yours because there's oh my gosh whatever i'm not i'm not gonna overthink it and i'm gonna go with uh recency bias again you know so so shoot me i'm gonna go with, recency bias again, so shoot me. I'm going to go with Pacific Rim. Oh, I love Pacific Rim. I love Pacific Rim, too. It is so stupid. It's so ridiculous, the idea that the only way we can fight monsters,

we need to build a giant robot. That has to have two people. That has to have two people mentally connect so they can run the robot. And yet it's freaking awesome, man. It is so. I love Pacific Rim. You want to talk about a fun monster movie, just a fun action destruction movie. And there's multiple different monsters in it.

Absolutely love Pacific Rim. It's funny because Mike made fun of you for liking Godzilla. But the same reason he likes Pacific Rim is the reason anybody would like any of the Godzillas. Oh, which is you don't care about any of the peripherals, the Brodericks of the world. You care about a giant monster destroying a city. You know what Pacific Rim is for us? It's just Power Rangers for grownups.

Yes, it is. It's literally like, let's power up and get these monsters. And I'm not making fun of Godzilla. I like Godzilla. I'm making fun of that particular one. Yeah, but there are a category of movies that you just want to see things blow up. It was funny. I don't remember which of the Transformers movies I dreaded to go see.

And I was like, this is going to suck so bad. But then I saw it in 3D and it was just things exploding. And I was just like, it's a pretty good time. I mean, it does suck. And it was awesome. Yes. They're immune. All right.

So I got two picks. That's Michael Bay's motto. It sucks, but stuff explodes. I still consider a huge component of a monster movie fear. Okay. And so I do respect that. With Jurassic Park, there were elements where those were dinosaurs, but they treated them just like a a secret reveal right you didn't know what they were you were hiding from them the thought of if I can put myself in that person's spot and

feel that fear just a little bit from the screen okay that gets me so man there's a pick that I want to take here because I'm so terrified one of you guys are going to take it. So I'm going to go with Pan's Labyrinth. Okay. Did you guys see Pan's Labyrinth? Of course. I did. It's sensational.

It's so fabulous, visually fabulous, terrifying, well-made. What's the name of the hand? The hand eye guy. Oh, that thing is so creepy. Whatever. I don't know his name name of the hand eye guy? Oh, that thing is so creepy. I don't know his name. The monster hand eye guy. He holds his hand in front of his face, and he's got the eye on it, and that's how he sees.

Terrible. Yeah, it's a great movie. Is it on your list? Yeah. Oh. And I know I'll get a bunch of crap for this one. Who cares, man? But I'm taking it because, to me, I still love this movie.

And it's Signs. Because Signs has all the elements of a scary monster movie. You are in the middle of nowhere. You're in the middle of a cornfield. You're in the middle of a house. There's no one to rescue you. You are seeing glimpses of it on the rooftop or sliding between the corn stalks and you have to defend yourself and board the... All of that is what made Quiet Place great, right? You're boarding things up, and you're hiding, and you don't know what it looks like until the very end of the movie. It is funny.

Quiet Place and Signs, it's like the monsters are barely in the movie. The monsters are barely in the movie. They're the centerpiece of the movie, but they're like, they aren't seen hardly at all. You doubled up on the aliens. Yeah, so I'm going to go with Signs for that third pick and hand it back over. Would Pan's Labyrinth have made it back to me? I would not have taken it.

It wasn't on my list. If it had, I wouldn't have taken it here. There's a chance you could have taken it. But there was definitely a chance. Thanks for making me feel better. I love it. It's a great movie. Now, Signs, on the other hand, it's a movie.

Signs is a great movie with a bad ending. If we can celebrate a Transformers movie that's terrible, but you enjoy it. I can't take this today, guys. I just can't take it. Signs is a phenomenal movie. We don't need to talk about it. It's great. I'm fully on board. Lo. Signs is a phenomenal movie. We don't need to talk about it. It's great. I'm fully on board.

Loving Signs. All right. I am very torn here. This is your third pick? It's my third pick, and I have three that I really want to take. I'm having a very difficult time here deciding which one does not make it back to me. Whatever. We'll move forward with it.

Funny enough, completely unrelated to this podcast, this draft that we're having, somehow this movie came up in our office today. Oh, yeah. Because we were talking about actors and debating the merits of them, and are they actually good actors? And I brought up, and I was like, you know, is this movie good? Is Kevin Bacon actually a good actor? Oh, no, you're taking one of my two.

I'm taking Tremors, baby. I've never seen it. Tremors is. Don't watch it. Don't bother. I don never seen it. Tremors is don't watch. I don't bother. I don't know if you can go back, but I have there. Uh,

my kids turn off the podcast. Don't listen to this anymore. Like tremors was one of those movies I saw as a kid at the friend's house. Oh, where you weren't supposed to watch it. Whose parents were a little more lenient on the media that you could watch. Which made it all the more exciting. There is no way that my parents were letting me watch Tremors when I was in third grade. I wasn't allowed to watch Jurassic Park.

Yeah. Oh, I understand. And Tremors was on this. To be fair, I don't know if my parents have even heard of the movie Tremors. But if they had, I would not be allowed to watch it and i saw it was like it's one of one of the first monster movies i can remember ever watching and going having no idea what is happening in this movie because it was so freaking crazy but i i and then after i still love it afterwards you can be afraid everywhere you know what i mean like i'm walking to school they're under me we live in a very similar place to the setting of tremors yes yes a lot of dirt uh that we can walk

on yeah we know what's underneath no tremors was one of my two uh so that is that is sad that i i knew what i was going to take i will go with the other movie that I was going to take right off the bat. This movie is so underrated. I think it is great. I'm excited. I think the replay value, I think it holds up. The acting, phenomenal.

The actors, phenomenal. I'm going to go watch it tonight. And it's Rain of Fire. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Christian Bale, Matthew McConaughey. It's a dragon movie? Yeah.

It's not on my list. I've never seen it. And I am so... Reign of Fire is great. Thank you. I will stand Reign of Fire until the day I die. Is that a monster movie? It's a dragon.

Oh, yeah. I've never seen it. And it fits a lot of what you've talked about. Like, at the beginning of the movie, whatever. Oh, Rain of Fire is so great! All of a sudden, you're five minutes into the movie, and it's kind of fast forwarded in time where the dragons have taken over the world. And you're like, you're living underground.

Sounds like a movie I should watch. It's their place. And I'm telling you. It holds up? Oh, yeah. When McConaughey rolls up in a tank and gets out and flexes because he's jacked on steroids. You're like, spoiler alert. Yeah, spoiler.

Tons of steroids. 2002. Oh, man. So good. It's so good. I love that movie. All right. So that's my first.

And then I'll take Tremors. Okay. Didn't there are Tremors 2? Oh, there's like 6,000 of them now. All right. There's a lot here. I think I know where I'm going to go. There's certainly, there's about four on my list worthy of taking, but I'm going to take

one that is very, very famous for its, depending on your perspective, phenomenal or horrifically awful ending, and that is The Mist. Oh, it is. Which I think. Well, hold on, hold on. Which ending have you seen? I guess. Because the director.

The Statute of Limitations is here, right? Like I can give a spoiler. I mean, well, depending. Because the director's cut is an ending of a movie that you don't even want to say what happens at the end. I don't want to say what's happened at the end. Okay. It doesn't go well, and then right after it doesn't go well, it would have been okay. Yes.

That's the ending I saw. Yes, that is 100% the ending I know. That is one of the movies that stuck with me for like three days after I was thinking about the ending of that movie going, oh, that is, it's, it is heart shattering what happens at the end of the mist. And it's, the whole movie is fantastic. And they just, they get you. I never seen it.

I walked away from that movie hating it, hatingating it. Because the ending was so rough. And then day after day, month after month, year after year. Thinking about it. Think about it. And I go, okay, it was great. Because movies don't make me do that. And I was upset leaving because I didn't like it. But in truth, it was an unfathomably memorable memory.

Mike, you have your final pick. All right. So one is a horror movie and one is an action movie. And I'm just, I'm sticking with the action movie because I, I just, I love it so much. Because you love Brendan Fraser. Wait, what? Which one are you talking about? Brendan Fraser?

I won't. Oh, oh, the mummy? Maybe. Oh, what? Which one are you talking about? Brendan Fraser? I won't. Oh, the mummy? Maybe. Oh, no. I used to love the mummy. I used to love. There's nothing wrong with the mummy. No, but.

Arnold. You got to get to the chopper. Because I'm taking the predator, baby. Oh, the predator is a good. The predator is a. Captured the imaginations of young men everywhere. Nothing. Literally nothing happens in this movie.

No, nothing. It's just it's. Why are they there? Do we have a reason why they were on the island? I'm sure they were there to rescue somebody, but it's just it's like eight crazy jacked dudes running around shirtless with giant guns shooting at something. And it was scary. It was scary. And then the movie's over.

It's just like Aliens only. Schwarzenegger covers himself in mud and then the movie's done. But it is fantastic, man. The Predator is legit. All right. Well, I will close it out. I have an honorable mention. Oh, I have so many. That I want to bring up. I will close it out i want i have an honorable mention oh i have that i want

to that i want to bring up i will close it out with jaws i will take jaws okay as the final i was wondering who would take it it was actually interesting because i thought jason was describing all of the things about it holding up and the actors in it and the jaws hold up not the not the shark yeah that's what i would think that's why i was surprised i wasn't sure but the acting does in the movie the suspense the fear again i think all of mine come down to like relating to a fear of a monster i mean that's the traditional kid monster under the bed thing like have you ever been so far out in the ocean that you can't get to the bottom oh yeah yeah jason have you ever done that yeah oh yeah okay yeah and and it there is there's a deep that is and it doesn't have to be

like it could be you know 30 feet or so but there is still there is a an uneasiness about being that far out you can feel that in a lake. If you swim in the middle of a lake, it feels really weird knowing that you, like Lake Placid. I was on a, I was at, I was at a lake recently and it's like, you know, you look at the, uh, the little, whatever it's called, the little range finder and it shows you the depth. It's like, this is 150 feet down. What? What's under me?

Anything. Anything could be there. So the one honorable mention I want to throw out there was from 2016. Okay. And I don't know if it would have, I mean, it should have counted, but it was like a little bit more of a human monster situation. It turns out that we're the monsters. 10 Cloverfield Lane.

Did you guys ever see that? Oh, yeah, yeah. John Goodman was in it. Yeah. The girl that was kind of trapped in the underground to stay away from the monsters. Turns out the aliens were actually out there.

They were actually out there. That movie was so good. That was such it was a unnecessary yet incredible twist at the end of the movie. Like, oh, I guess Goodman wasn't that bad, was he? Pale Man was the name of Pan's Labyrinth.

Oh, yes, yes. I have Cloverfield on my list. Yeah, I did like the original Cloverfield. My shout-outs were, number one is The Descent, which I don't know if you've seen this one. I have not seen that. It centers around a group of women, and they go spelunking like into a cave

and turns out the the one in charge like brought them to a different cave that hadn't been explored and then there's like these they get stuck and there's can i guess there's some monsters there's some monsters in there but it's but it's it also has another ending that is, for those that need a resolve, a good resolve. It's not for you. It's not for you, makes you feel bad. And then it's a foreign movie, but shout out to Troll Hunter. If you've not watched Troll Hunter, I think I watched it on Netflix.

I believe it's a Norwegian movie. So it's a subtitled movie. I get it. You have to read. But it's fantastic where it turns out that trolls are real and they have to go hunt them. But it ends in this culmination of this giant troll chasing them down. It's a spectacular, really underrated movie that people need to know about. My shout out was to Anaconda. Back when we were younger. Dude, the trach scene?

Were they going to get the bugs in the guy's mouth? Oh, that's right. I'm sitting here and I'm deep diving this Pan's Labyrinth Pale Man who was played by actor Doug Jones, right? Who played Pale Man. Who's Doug Jones? Well, apparently he's also Silver Surfer. He's also

some of these freaky looking aliens inside of Star Trek. He's like an Andy Serkis type of guy? He's kind of a freaky-looking dude. He just does CGI? Yeah, it's nuts. He's cast in these roles of these unique, weird-looking characters. Oh, he was also in Hellboy. What?

Yeah. You know that creature with the longer face, the water creature in Hellboy? Sure. That's him. And is Doug Jones just actually devastatingly handsome? No. Oh. I'm sorry, Doug.

No. I mean, he looks like an alien. He should be in CG. He's got a face made for CG. He's a creepy looking dude. I'm sorry, Doug. I just Googled him. He is a creepy looking guy. I'm sorry, Doug. I just Googled him. He is a creepy looking guy.

He knows it. I'm not trying to insult the man. I'm just calling out his years. It's his shtick. He's made a career. Yeah, he's made a heck of a career out of having a really long alien face. What did we learn today?

Boy, we learned too much,'t we oh man i learned that school buses do not have a power over the median i learned that jason broke some records when it came to the dump skis a log over the river my friends uh yeah that was what it was gonna be what i learned too that you have i too I also learned there's a fat suit I can wear to vibrate me out of this Out of all this Fat? Alright well that'll do it Al I think you learned a lot

Today too We'll catch you next time See you next time thank you for listening everybody Goodbye Thanks for listening to the spitballers podcast to see what other nonsense the guys are up to check out spitballerspod.com howdy howdy howdy everybody It's the end of the show. But I still got something to tell you about.

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