Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 176: The Love Jump & The Best Christmas Traditions - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: December 13, 2021

Today we talk about traveling by toilet, burning down your own house, and a pilot that is very lucky to be alive. Then, in honor of the season, we bring some positivity into the world with a draft of the best Christmas traditions. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

Hey, spitwads, we want to thank Coinbase for sponsoring today's show because Coinbase is awesome. I have used Coinbase for years and years and years. If you identify as crypto curious, if you've thought about entering the world of cryptocurrency, maybe you felt a little overwhelmed. Well, Coinbase makes learning to buy and sell really, really simple. learning to buy and sell really, really simple. I mean, they are the far and away leaders because of how awesome and simple it is. You know, it's not a secret or an exclusive club anymore for cryptocurrency. Everyone everywhere should be able to get in the door. Whether you've been

trading for years or just getting started, Coinbase can help. They have an easy to use platform to buy, sell, and spend crypto. They support the most popular digital currencies in the market. They make them accessible to everyone. They offer portfolio management and protection, learning resources, and a mobile app that is awesome so you could trade securely and monitor your crypto all in one place. For a limited time, new users can get $10 in free Bitcoin when you sign up today at Coinbase.com slash Ballers. Sign up at Coinbase.com slash Ballers for $10 in free Bitcoin. This offer is for a limited time only, so be sure to sign up today. That is Coinbase.com slash ballers. What happens when three buffoons give life advice,

explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Jingley, ba-dingley, what up, Mr. Kringley? Hey! All right. Oh, Mr. Kringley. I actually really like that one because I know that you were not prepared.

No, I wasn't. This was fly by the seat of your pants and I... Oh my goodness gracious. Like your pants are looking fine. I know it's good when Mike breaks out halfway through the scat into one of his cackle laughs. Oh, Mr. Kringley? That's right. Bajingles and bajingles oh i've people take liberties with

those names to make it to make it rhyme with what you needed to rhyme with that was i mean you got your catchphrase in there not bad right no not bad at all it's been a while welcome into the spitballers episode 176 if If you couldn't tell already, it is Christmas time around here. We've got a best Christmas traditions draft. It's not just around here. You said it was Christmas time around here, but it's... Everywhere? It's great.

Like, if you are in a region that celebrates the holiday of Christmas, it is Christmas time. Now, to be fair, they could be listening to this years later um which would still be christmas time if it is exactly on the year later but months later okay okay now we've got a problem best christmas traditions and just to you know this is the spade ballers podcast so i might as well start here in the southern hemisphere of the world, Christmas is still the same day. It's just summertime. Yes. Okay.

That is true. And when you actually start to think about it, it's very bizarre. Because we're in Arizona, and even though I have never in my entire life experienced the... Snowy Christmas. The white Christmas, the picturesque. This is what Christmas actually looks like.

It's never looked like that for me. I've been here. I've been in California. But still in my head, you were like, what does Christmas look like? Okay, well, there's snow outside. There's pine trees. I mean, Santa's on a sleigh. Yes. No matter where in the world mean Santa's on a sleigh yes right no matter where in the world

Santa's on a sleigh he's not in like a golf cart no he's not there's no wheels on that thing he's not rolling down the street he's not coming from the pool yeah but he does go down the chimney the opposite direction in Australia yeah that is

accurate and he drives a sleigh on the other side of the road yeah the wrong side but what I haven't thought of is do like do Australians what is Christmas to them what is like what is the what does that look like this is why I brought it up I have no idea I've never been there I mean, I don't know what the seasons in the southern hemisphere are opposite, right? Yes, they are. And it's weird. That means it's their winter is their what? Like May, June, July?

Yes. My guess, and obviously I could be wrong here. My guess is that it's 100% the same. Like the picturesque. I think that they also think of a snowy christmas now that could be massively ignorant because because of the hemisphere i live on so i'm excited to learn once this episode comes out sounds very american australia please let us know that i do know for a fact that the sleigh are pulled by kangaroos and not reindeer.

Well, I mean. I know that's a fact. You know how hard it is to get reindeer down in Australia? And then obviously all the elves are koala bears. But other than that, I don't know anything else about their Christmas. I figured it was emus. But I looked up, when is winter in Australia? Winter 2022 will begin on June 1st and end August 31st.

That's strange. That's not just strange. That breaks your brain. So that does mean that you can live in winter all the time if you split your time between the northern and southern hemispheres. That is true. You could be permanently winter. Yes, because of the old earth on its axis or slightly tilted.

Yes. I know you're just waiting to get into the real detailed science, but I'm going to hold you off, Mike. Okay. Don't go PhD on us just yet. I know it's tempting. I'll hold it. Thank you so much to everybody who listens to this fine podcast and subscribes, reviews. And please tell your friends.

If you enjoy this, I have noticed something. Jason's cackling. Sorry, I just Googled. You're deep diving. I Googled Christmas in Australia because this is fascinating. Yeah, perfect. Here we go. And the first sentence is exactly what we're saying.

In Australia, Christmas comes towards the beginning of the summer holidays. That's so weird. It is weird. It's broken. Also also when i said it comes in the towards the beginning yeah that was not my mistake i was reading word from a really good source here yeah why christmas towards i don't know google um thank you for telling your friends about us i have noticed something we are a a very popular podcast on road trips. People love the spitballers on road trips.

Being able to go through episodes. We're getting towards the 200 mark. If you don't have good audio on a road trip, that's a nightmare. Do you call it good audio? Oh, yeah. You're like, man, this trip is lacking. We need some good audio. I'm saying I just did.

You know, we recently. You need something to listen to. What is this? Fire up the good audio. What is that? I'm just describing. No, no one describes it like that. No one.

What I'm saying is you need something good to listen to. Audio is what you listen to. You listen to audio? Of course I do. We need some good video up on the screen. I don't listen to video. I listen to audio. Oh, man.

All right. We are relentless here. Can you skip to the next audio, please? Would you rather my mic was really taken aback by your turn of phrase pam from patreon says which curse would you rather have for the rest of your life okay this sounds fun uh which word no which curse oh oh yeah not which not on this show. All animals hate you. Okay. So all animals. You know, you got the pet implications there, but it's also wild animals, right?

You're out in the woods. You're out walking. Don't want to go there. The birds. Yeah. Number two. So that's curse number one. All animals hate you.

You've been cursed. Number two. People have difficulty understanding you when you speak. Oh. That's frustrating. When you're on that third repeat. Number two, people have difficulty understanding you when you speak. That's frustrating. When you're on that third repeat. The third repeat, it's an awkward place. Never mind.

It's like when people can't hear you. I've brought this up. My wife, she doesn't have the best hearing. When I have to say something and she says, what again? I am filing papers right then it's over i was at a freddy's restaurant the other day which is a fast food chain out here i went up to the counter i'm trying to ask a question or order something oh no and the the 12 year old behind the counter looked very uninterested in his job. And everything he said was,

And I got into that point with him. I go, oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't understand you. And his repeat, same volume, same voice. How many times did you continue to play along before you just nodded and gave up? What I did was I said, I made a joke that was somewhat like, ha, you're going to have to speak up. Then he did it again.

And then I had to make the self joke of, I don't know what's wrong with me. I guess my ears aren't working today. See, I experienced. You fell on the sword? I fell on the sword. Why? For this mumbling child. Yeah.

I don't know what I even ordered. We're in the holidays, and for the Thanksgiving weekend, I checked into a hotel. And because of the world we live in right now, masks and plexiglass. Yes. The combo between us. There was no pot i my ear was down like on the counter trying to hear through the little slot and i still couldn't hear and so eventually i literally just did the nod and agree i have no idea what this woman said during the check-in process i didn't know where my room was i just used the map because I couldn't hear.

And I asked at the beginning, it's just, what? Oh, I'm sorry, what? And then eventually I'm just like, yeah, I'm going to leave here with a smile on my face. I give up. I quit. You know what we need? There needs to be cups.

There needs to be a stack of cups at the front desk so that you can do the trick where you you hold the cup up to the plexiglass with your ear and then you can actually hear what is what is being said because i've done the same thing where oh it's bad there's all these safety precautions which good like let's stay safe but mike i'm at a fast food restaurant on my knees like i was trying to scream up under the plexiglass, still making no headway. Just write it down. Write it to pass me a napkin.

What are you saying? I've been there. So the last one, so people have difficulty understanding you when you speak. And the third one is nightly nightmares. Nightly nightmares. So which curse of the three would you rather have the rest of your life? So the nightly nightmares is awful, right?

I mean, terrible. If you're having a real nightmare, you're going to be afraid to go to sleep. You might wake up sweaty. It affects the quality of your sleep as well. Absolutely. But I don't know that it has the same physical impact. Like, I think you can get REM sleep while having a nightmare. I don't think those are mutually exclusive.

But the other two have a real physical impact on your daily awake life. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like the nightmares isn't going to affect my active life as much. It might. I'm not saying it couldn't, but it's not a guarantee. Whereas animals hating me. That's a problem. The birds.

When Andy said birds, I was like, oh, man. Birds, we don't even realize. They're everywhere. I still. We don't even realize. You don't realize. You do not realize. You go to your car, and you don't think there's birds around you,

but there's birds up in the trees. You want to know why you don't think about the birds? Because they don't hate you. They're scared of you. If they hated you. I just saw another video of somebody hit in the face with a bird on a roller coaster. What? No.

Yes. And she was in the high G-force part of the ride. So this bird was plastered to her face. Oh, my gosh. To her face? To her face. And she has to just grab it and throw it off of her. Did the bird, like, explode on the face?

No, no, no. The bird, it was like it softly flew into the face, but then the G-forces kept it pinned to the face. A bird mask. Yeah. It was a bird mask. It was a pigeon, too. Yeah.

A dirty bird. All right. The animals hating you, that'd be hard. But I can, you know, I could live indoors, I guess. I could fight off the birds. It's not just birds, though, man. Anytime you walk past a dog. I think I'm okay with people not understanding me when I speak.

I will find another way to communicate. Yeah. I don't need to talk to people. Oh, wait. Do I get to stop talking to people? I know that would be a real delight for you. Yeah, I'm taking that one. I can't live without my animal friends.

I can live without my animal friends i can live without my people friends i don't think that i could take the people having difficulty understanding you when you speak because the frustration we we talk more than we see animals we talk more than we you know dream we're always communicating and if people always have a hard time understanding me, at some point, my frustration of not being able to properly communicate, I think that would lead me into pure depression. Like, I wouldn't want to talk. That would be devastatingly difficult.

Our job would suffer, yeah that right i do well to be fair people have difficulty understanding me when i speak already um on this job even if they have good audio even if even with the good audio i mean this is good audio but bad words um is usually the way that the misinterpretation comes but that one's out for me so i'm between the nightmares and the animals nightmares would be a real real real problem yeah and you talk about i mean every once in a while they're fine and if animals hate you does that mean they're trying to attack you all the yes of course if they hate you yeah i i'm so my daughter's been going through sleep problems recently, and I've seen the effect that poor sleep or not being able to sleep.

I think we're in Arizona. I'm going to have to start packing. I'm taking the animals. I pack for protection. We can do that here. I thought you were packing to move away to where there are no animals. No, no, no. I'm packing heat.

I'm strapped. You're just firing into the air at these pigeons coming at you? These birds are going to take you all off. Blocker, blocker, blocker. Yeah, I mean, just look. It's for, you know. Man arrested said animals hate me. Man arrested for shooting in the air at birds.

No, no, they hate me. They hate me. You don't understand. Bring me your dog. You'll see. Shoot the neighbor's dog. Oh, no. Wow.

Okay, so you're taking that one. Mike, your final answer is the understanding when they speak? Understanding when I speak. Yeah. Yep. Tim from the website. Would you rather question for us? Would you rather be able to fly, but only at five miles an hour or teleport,

but only to toilets you have used before? It's like wave points in games, in video games, because you have to, you have to visit a location before you can teleport there. So when I get to the Barnes and Noble, I run to the restroom so I can then portal to the Barnes and Noble in the future.

Okay. Can we at least agree that the teleport will block you if the toilet is occupado? You're like, I'm out of here. You're like, oh, okay. Hold on.

That's not worth it. Oh, excuse me. I didn't mean to know you were in here. Isn't there a chance that these places could change their toilets out? Would you then go to where that toilet is now located? I think the power is with the toilet itself. So you got to be.

Now, at the same time, look, I don't think this is that big a downgrade on teleportation. I really don't. I mean, I visit a lot of bathrooms. Yeah. Fancy restaurants. I go on a trip. I've never gone on a trip to another state and not use the restroom. But you would have to, unlike a teleportation like you think of, like right now you have teleportation. I'm going to go to Mount Everest.

Well, you have to have gone there once without teleportation if you want the ability to use it. Right now, you want to go to France. You're going to have to fly to France, find a toilet in France, sit down on the toilet. Now, you have to use it, right? Toilets you've used. You can sit down and have a wee.

Can we make this a number two only teleportation? Now this becomes a problem. Because I like the idea of you wanting to go somewhere and you have to also take a dump there first. I don't do the public restroom dump. So this is a real issue for me. What, you're knocking on doors in France? I mean.

Ma'am. No, no, no. May I please use your restroom? Look, okay. On a vacation, right? I just went to California for a couple days. Obviously, I'm going to do a duty. Right.

That being said, most of the time I brought up restaurants or places around town. I don't do that. I've never once pooped at a friend's house. You also said when you camp, you just don't go. No, that was the question I was going to bring up. If I go to the top of Everest, can I turn it into a toilet? If I take a dump at the top of Everest, you miss out on my toilet. You've got to bring one if i go to the top of everest can i turn it into a toilet if i take a dump at the top of everest you know you got my toilet you gotta bring one up everest but you have well but you at least the portable ones okay and then and then you have to leave it there yeah and hope nobody

moves it which they probably won't if they move it though i just teleport to wherever they moved it yeah but who knows where that would be oh man i hope i don't teleport while they throw it off the mountain what is this toilet seat chuck it um this look i'm not flying at five miles an hour there's there's like i i get it that as a transportation method five miles an hour doesn't sound great if you're like i'm going to fly to california no but like vertically, like five miles. How fast do you move upstairs? Are you moving five MPH? No way.

No, I'm not moving that fast upstairs. It will feel really slow in the air. It will feel. Real slow. But also like. But I don't care about flying up my stairs, Mike. That's not what I want, superhero. But what would you actually want it for?

Jumping off of really high stuff. No, I get that. But that's not, I mean, that would be cool. But are you using this as a form of transportation in any way, shape, or form? No. That's what I mean. You're not five miles. It's the same way you use walking as a form of transportation, which I don't view walking as a form of transportation personally.

That's weird. I just don't know if, I mean, it would be very cool. It's a parlor trick. But it's less practical than the- I could decorate my Christmas tree real easy. It's so funny. Now I'm starting to think of all the implications of this toilet transportation thing.

And I'm like, you know, some people, they got long distance relationships. They're like, oh, I want to be able to see my significant other. But I got to go take a dump in her new place first. That's tough. That's tough, especially if you're in the dating process. Right. Once you're married, whatever, you can poop in front of each other,

but when you're in that dating life, you're not in front of each other, but in the same house. That wasn't quite what I meant. Once you're married, you just drop chat and poop wherever you want. mouse that uh wasn't quite what i want to marry i was the first one to hear it that way does that come in a honeymoon set um yeah i mean you're right the dating process you're and and telling your your your new boyfriend girlfriend like look i have a superpower i can teleport to your place but i will will need to take a poop in your toilet. I will need to take a quick dump.

Now, what if you don't? I mean, this is, like Mike said, okay, you can always, you know, squeeze out a little urine sample, but you can't just manufacture a bowel movement. Not always, no. That's why this teleporter would be carrying a lot of mucilax or whatever it's called. Yeah, no, a lot of like... Suppositories? Pills.

Not suppositories. I'm going to go the pill route, but you need to be able to provoke. Yeah, that stuff. I'm still taking the teleportation. I mean, this would be incredible, and I think it would really... Miralax, that's what I was looking for. It would really change my travel behavior. I mean, I would become a public pooper.

I would want to mark my teleportation network as wide and far as possible you could live anywhere and still work right here absolutely oh man that's cool until our two bathrooms are filled and you have to be but i'm going to work think of a cruise ship i mean like if you're in and out if you if you teleport onto a cruise ship you're supposed to be there oh yeah they're not gonna go excuse me sir ticket when i see your ticket you're like no i'm on the boat i'm here throw you overboard no ticket um yeah then you just teleport home sleep at night and come back to the yeah even if they do throw you off your way. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah, I'm doing that. I think you've got to go with that one. You have to. Is this toilet portation? Oh, my goodness. Toilet portation. It's been there the whole time. Oh, man.

Toilet portation is great. You're getting a full nine for that one. Shannon from Patreon, would you rather have super cheap subpar sheets no or super cheap subpar pillow oh no this is actually a very sensible question it sounds like you know we're trying to make some crazy issue here but the reality is one of these is far more important this is an easy it is super easy I have done this in my own life recently. Really? Yeah, I upgraded one of the two.

I just was saving some money, and I didn't want to do the whole set. It was being a cheapskate, and there was one thing that was far more important. The pillow. The pillow, for sure. This is easy, because subpar sheets, you can actually overcome those just by wearing clothing.

If you wear a comfy pair of pajamas, you're fine. Don't do clothing at night. Well, even still, nonetheless. It's all a mode over here. Yeah. Don't do pants. Nonetheless, the pillow, you've got the softer skin on your face. You need that comfort.

For me, it's all about temperature. It's temperature. No, because that's just the actual pillow that is nice and luxurious. The sheet. Oh, the sheet on top is the same set? Yes, absolutely. Wait a minute. You don't buy a pillow when it comes with a pillow mine is actually right on this one i see it now in the question but i interpreted it and you

obviously did too would you rather have good sheets or a good pillowcase then it's pillowcase but this is a totally so now all my sheets and my pillowcase are either nice or awful yeah do you have but the pillow's either lumpy or- I still got to go pillow. What kind of pillow do you go with? Are you a feather pillow? Do you have one of those foam neck pillows? No.

I use a, it's a supportive, I think it's a spring pillow. A spring, what, like with- Not like hard metal springs, but like- There ain't no such thing, brother. You don't have a spring pillow because i'm gonna tell the world exist i'm gonna tell the world what pillow i have because i bought it you will do nothing i have not paid for that advertisement um i have so this this is a question near and dear to my heart um i have a very expensive pillow that was given to me as a gift oh by my wife and she has

to this day the worst pillow that exists she didn't wait so she bought you one as a gift and didn't go didn't just do the combo of one for me it's a very expensive pillow and yes she bought me one as a gift and it was it is awesome i mean it is it is a perfect pillow i've had it for years and every night she sleeps on this just it might as well be an empty it's like a bag that's been hollowed out it's just you're you're not even using a pillow. She still won't upgrade the pillow? She has not yet. She doesn't care as much for things for herself as she does for things around her, and she has a terrible husband

that has not fixed the problem for her. Why haven't you bought her a nice pillow? Thoughtlessness, carelessness. The list is very long, man. Okay. But every single night, I know she would love to have my pillow i will never allow that this was a gift this was a gift she if if we bought if we bought one pillow as a

couple and we had one good one and one bad one we could figure out some rotation but she got me this gift and I will not I am honoring her by by showing how much I love the gift she got me anytime she's using it I will pull it out from under her head and take it back for myself print out of love for her gift giving abilities so in my head I'm like you know what's an expensive pillow situation actually looking like? And then I Google expensive pillow, and there is someone trying to hawk a $6,000 pillow. What? Okay, okay, this is not, we're not at that level here. We're not at that level here.

Now I know why you only bought one. Yeah, we're not. What is this? What is is i don't even want to say their name on this no you can't advertise this just google expensive pillows there's no it was made out of gold it wouldn't be worth it also probably very uncomfortable um i just bought one no i didn't uh but i do i do want to know what that feels like now. Like, can you get a one-nighter in that pillow? I'll rent my pillow out for a little bit.

Do people rent the $6,000 pillows out? Well, I can't speak for the $6,000 pillow, but I will rent you mine if you want. It comes in different, there's different, like, layers, so you can have it to the firmness of your choice. Okay. But I'm taking my pillow. I love it. I will have bed sheets and my awesome pillow.

How about you, Mike? You didn't really weigh in here. I got to go with... It has to be the comfy pillow, because I'll wear the... That'll be brutal. I mean, your neck's all out of sorts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. I'll go sheetless. You be brutal. I mean, your neck's all out of sorts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure. I'll go sheetless.

You ever had a pillow? I'll just... No covers. Oh. I was just saying, you ever had a pillow so bad that you decided you're better off without one? I'm going to lay flat on the bed. My wife's.

It's awful, man. It is the worst. It's really unfair. Christmas is coming up. It's already planned. Shoot, she listens to this. She didn't hear that part. Did she hear the part about the $6,000 pillow?

I don't love you that much. No one loves anyone that much. Al, how are you doing today? Doing great, thank you. What would you choose? I would go with the pillow. Yeah, okay, so it's unanimous there. Do we have time for one more Would You Rather?

Do you want us to move on? We got nothing but time. You always say that. Simeon from Patreon, would you rather go on a hot air balloon ride or skydiving? Have any? I have been skydiving. You have skydived, Mike? I went skydiving on my 18th birthday.

Really? This is a story I'm sure that i don't know why i didn't know that i don't think so because i've never heard this yeah did you survive barely uh yeah i did the uh yeah i went tandem skydiving on my 18th birthday uh and it is that kind of surprises me. Number one, terrifying. Yeah. Really? Jumping out of the plane?

Yes. Okay. But so, I mean, I guess there's not a ton to the story. The things I do remember are... So, I mean, you're strapped in everywhere, right? You know, the straps go under the legs and in the crotch area and everything. You're attached to the person behind you. Yes. But they don't clip in until you're about to jump. But on the ride up, I do remember I couldn't get,

like I couldn't shift in a position where it wasn't cutting off, the strap wasn't cutting off the blood to my leg. So by the time we're at the altitude to jump, my leg is just done. I'm just hanging off the side. And that's for security. So by the time we're at the altitude to jump, my leg is just done. Just hanging off the side. And that's for security. I'm on the stank. Yeah, but it was just pinching the blood, and I had the stanky leg.

This leg was not. Ten minutes longer, it's going to fall off. Probably. But then I waited. Because when I was younger and I could actually do like thrill rides and everything, because I would go on everything except for spinny, because I love nothing more than the drop. The weightlessness. No, when your stomach goes up.

Oh, yeah. The belly tickles. The belly tickles, exactly. On the big first drop of the roller coaster, a flume log ride, that's my favorite sensation when it comes to thrill rides so i'm like this is going to be the ultimate and so you go do you actually get that jumping out of the plane no not at all i didn't think so you you can't hear it's the it's so loud it It's funny because once you've done it and you watch movies where they talk about skydiving. They're talking to each other.

Like in Point Break. They're having a conversation. You're like, that is impossible. Number one, you cannot hear. Number two, you can barely breathe. The wind is forcing itself up your nose. You cannot breathe through your mouth. Wind is forcing itself up your nose.

You cannot breathe through your mouth. And there is absolutely no feeling of falling. You feel like you're just standing in the most powerful wind that you have ever stood in, and you're not really moving. So the wind resistance changes everything that you think you're going to feel. Yes, that is what you feel, is the force of air pushing against you, not falling. At least that's what it was for me. So were you happy you did it? Yes.

I'm happy I wouldn't do it again. How was the landing? Rocky? No, we did okay. You didn't have one leg to use? Once you pull the chute, then it's really bizarre because it's been so loud for so long of the free fall, and then it is just deathly silent. Is it more fun during that part because you get to see everything? Yes, that part is more interesting.

You get to look around and have that perspective of how- You talk then? Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah. Once the perspective of how- Do you talk then? Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah. Once the shoot is open, you can have the conversation. My leg! My leg's about to fall off! Please get us down to the ground!

Now, you didn't do the tandem face-to-face, though, right? That's not- No, no. That's called the love joke. Yeah, we did call the romantic couple joke. The love joke! Yeah. That's the honeymoon

special um now i'm curious because when you do skydiving now a lot of times they they record it as you go down they did record it i it's on we didn't have it's on a vhs tape somewhere you have a big like over the shoulder camera just this giant vcr how is steve's job the other guy that works for them i don't remember but i have to imagine someone had some kind of helmet can you go by yourself or with friends uh i went with uh did your dad go no my mom went what yeah i went with uh one of my best friends she survived she did not make it. Oh, I'm so sorry. Now I know why we haven't heard this story before. So painful.

If he dropped that news at the end of this story, all this commentary on it. And then now just a little caveat here. My mother did. Yeah, the mom you guys have met. That was not my original mom. Oh, boy. But no, she went and my buddy went as well. Wow.

All right. I did not know that. Now, I have been in a hot air balloon twice. Have you really? I have, yeah. So, I'm jealous of that. Okay. I have always felt like the hot air.

I've never done it. And I want to hear your story. But before you share it, I've always thought that it feels very helpless being in a hot air balloon because there is no way to be nimble at any point in that experience, right? No, you are at the mercy of the wind. I mean, if something's coming at you. We're going that way now. Exactly.

You have no control. They don't know. It's all the wind, right? I think so. No rudders up there. I don't believe that they had any control i've been on two different hot air balloons and i think it's just go up and then there's like a vehicle on the ground that kind of tries to follow you so that they could be there when you land and they

have not perfected how to land in a hot air balloon i mean this is hundreds of years the hot air balloons have been around and they have they have given no care to the landing figuring out like a better way to do this you're just going down to the ground and then there's people down there that are trying to make sure you don't fall over when the basket smacks the ground and sometimes you do there's just there's just nothing you can do about it the name of the game i mean fall over uh where did both of yours land both of mine did the same thing which is we tipped like we turned like we were gonna fall over but then the other people were able to like grab ropes and like i felt like we were cattle being wow you know uh wrassled right yes that's what you do with cattle you wrassle them um being in a hot air balloon is

primarily stupid and really wondering yeah i mean you go up and it doesn't it doesn't feel like anything special like it's pretty cool when you're going up you leave the ground you're like oh we're we're flying we're getting a little higher once you get kind of to i don't know cruising altitude you're just really high and you can't see anything of note nothing you know it's just well the landscape yeah it's a small world ride of thrill rides yeah but you and you can't go anywhere you're in a little box how many people were in your basket you strapped in um no no you're not if you climbed over the edge yep they allow it um they they say just jump they say that's on you um and i said no i'm good so they jumpers

anybody um i think um i know one of them was just the two of us and one was like both were dates like that's why that's why it's like oh we're gonna do the fancy so it wasn't like this romantic thing that you hoped it would be no and what it's sold is this super romantic thing you're going to have this like rolled out red carpet uh mimosas and then leave in a hot air balloon i mean goodness gracious you're in the middle of a desert they there's like a little tiny blanket with a fold-out table and like some canned mimosas and then you get in this it's and then you get in the basket and then there's just like a dude like a foot away from you yes yes you make it real romantic almost always gigantic

beard and this was a long time ago before beards were in this was like i just don't want to shave guy oh so and he's controlling whether you live or die. That is correct. He is not controlling where we go. He has no control over there. If you are coming at some power lines, his choice is under them or over them. I would always choose over. Yeah, you've got to go over. If you see the size of a hot air balloon, you're never going under power lines ever. The big bearded guy goes, I'm trying to make a decision here.

Guys, what do you think? Over or under? I've always thought I could go under one of these. All right, we've got to move on. Spit wads. We want to thank Codecademy for sponsoring today's show. If you want a career change or you just, maybe you just want a new skill. I personally have always found coding to be incredibly important. Codecademy is the way to go. Over 50 million people already know about Codecademy. It's the best way to learn to code because Codecademy not only teaches you job-ready

coding skills, but it also helps you build unique projects for your portfolio. You can earn certificates and even prep for technical interviews. You can learn at your own pace, get qualified for in-demand jobs. I have told my kids, like, they have to learn how to code. The future is coding. And if you want, Andy, do you want a super low-paying job? That sounds great. No, would you like to make bank?

Yeah, and enjoy what i'm doing well yeah i love coding make bank coding you can learn python html css sql javascript and more it is fantastic we have used it join over 50 million people learning to code with codecademy and see where coding can take you get 15 off your codecademy Pro membership when you go to Codecademy.com and use the promo code SPITBALLERS. That's promo code SPITBALLERS at Codecademy.com to get 15% off Codecademy Pro. The best way to learn to code. That's C-O-D-E-C-A-D-E-M-Y.com promo code SPITBALLERS. Promo code spitballers. Is this real life?

All right. Is this real life? We share, each of us, we share a story from the real world. Something that actually happened that makes you shake your head. Something we wanted to share with each other. I'm going to get mine out of the way. Do you mind, Jason? I don't mind, but mine is a pretty nice segue.

Okay, go for it. Because we're talking about flight and, you know, the dangers of the hot air balloon. Oh, no. Where is this going? This one is seven plane crashes in seven days for this pilot. It ends at the bottom of Lake Michigan. What? That's the headline? That is the article headline.

Seven plane crashes in seven days for this pilot, ends at the bottom of Lake Michigan. Did he die? He is fine. He never got injured in seven plane crashes. Were these intentional? No. So he gets gets this he's a first timer i mean fool me once yeah this was a bad week um so this okay this pilot goes and uh he's a licensed pilot and he's the proud new owner of an amphibious airplane called the SeaWind 3000.

So he went and he got this aircraft that had not been flown for years. And apparently, maybe he should have done a little bit more work. And so he used aircraft. I mean, buying a used car. he has used aircraft yeah it's a fixer-upper has not passed the 128 point inspection apparently so he crashes on the test flight in california that day the the landing was bad um a lot of landing gear problems. So it's like a crash landing. Everybody's okay. Everybody's fine.

They are able to fix it up. Okay? The next day. We're not talking. The next day. The plane had an engine stall. And they came down hard. This is in New Mexico.

So he had a flight. He's in a different state and crashes with engine failure i scratched my car once and it took him two weeks to fix it right so then the next day he has another um crash landing in mexico they're fixing this up every day this is i don't know put some duct tape on it how do you possibly fly after after little crash landings and this is a small plane this isn't like a you know a giant aircraft i looked at this thing it's um you know it's a personal aircraft it's unbelievable of like well you got to get back on the horse like you don't have to do it the next day crash four was due to was he in a hurry crash four was due to the left wing

um the landing was in nebraska so he had a successful flight so we got we got from mexico to nebraska that is right the next day it's a good um another test flight on the repairs ended in yet another crash in nebraska what is happening um then crash six on the sixth day a hydraulic pressure gauge was registering zero the fuel gauge showed an uneven supply uh skid down on the runway in michigan so he's all over the country crashing everywhere. This man. But he's fine. No. This man is after insurance money. Like, there's no way that you keep crashing this vehicle when your goal is, he's trying to total the plane. And his engineers are like, no, we can fix this.

We can fix this back up, sir. We can get it in the air tomorrow. And he's like, you sure? Are you sure you can? If it's not that, then what are you doing getting back in this plane? I know you probably spent a lot of money for it. No, that is insane. My favorite one is the final crash, crash seven.

Oh, we haven't heard the final? You have not. Since it had so many recent issues with the landing gear deploying, the pilot promised the FAA that he issues with the landing gear deploying, the pilot promised the FAA that he would keep the landing gear down for his 25-minute flight. Wait, wait. How does the FAA is like, all right. Yeah.

How was the FAA letting this person fly over and over? Here's a problem. Okay. You shouldn't fly with the landing gear out. Here's a problem. Okay. You shouldn't fly with the landing gear out. The landing gear caused the plane to go vertically into the water that he had to land in first.

So he went nose down into Lake Michigan and his brand new, many times crashed plane. It was not brand new. Well, that's true for him. It's at the bottom of Lake Michigan now. And he's fine. He escaped unscathed. And now forever he can tell the story. I've survived seven plane crashes.

Yeah. Did you get the follow-up? Man collects gigantic insurance check for plane at bottom of lake. That's insane. Come on. So you would want to parachute if you went in this man's plane. Wow. That is absurd. Mine is short and sweet, but it still entertained me greatly.

And I think it might be something that you would do, Jason, if the situation was slightly different. Okay, let's hear it. Maryland homeowner burns down house trying to fight snakes. Heck yeah. Heck yeah. I hear you, Maryland homeowner. Oh, no to fight snakes. Heck yeah. Heck yeah. I hear you, Maryland homeowner. Oh no.

I approve of this message. And if you see the pictures of this fire, this is a raging inferno. This thing was burnt to a crisp on November 23rd, trying to manage a snake infestation. a snake infestation. The homeowner tried to use smoke from coals to fight the serpents in a house on Big Woods Road. You got to do what you got to do.

And from what I understand, the status of the homeowner safe. No human injuries. Stake status unknown. Undetermined. That snake got away. It's a snake. Do they not need oxygen?

No, they're slippery. It got in there in the first place. I mean, it's true. You say, like, you know, stop, drop, and roll. You want to be low to the ground. That's right. To avoid the smoke inhalation. He's laughing or hissing.

Just rolling. No, I mean, look, my family, you know, this last year, we moved into our dream house we want to live there forever if i ever found a tarantula there i don't know what i don't know if i could live there i don't know if i could come home ever again and i might think about burning it to the ground for insurance money i mean i shouldn't admit that here but yeah call that pilot scrub it from the tape. Cut that. So he didn't intend to burn the house down.

He wasn't like, die, snake! But you're saying from your experience with certain animals, he may not be that disappointed. Right, yeah. He may be kind of, sort of fine. I would... If all I had to kill the tarantula was a flamethrower, I would use it. I would hope that the house is fine.

But if that's all I have at my disposal, it's either live, you know, it's life or death. So, yes, the house is secondary. Wow. Oh, my gosh. That's funny. Mike, what do you got for us? All right. So, I got a, it's the holidays.

We're, the draft coming up. We're doing our favorite Christmas traditions. Mike what do you got for us alright so I got a it's the holidays we're the draft coming up we're doing our favorite Christmas traditions I thought I'd like I'm gonna go with a a good story an inspiring story

okay I like it I like it look at you and regular mystery but I couldn't find one no

this one is fascinating so there was a grandmother and she sent her grandson a text message inviting them to uh thanksgiving dinner turns out her grandson had a new phone number and she was texting a complete stranger but the stranger said decided to respond and said, well, who is this? And she responded, well, it's your grandma.

And then they said, well, may I have a picture? And the grandma's, like, confused and sends a photo of herself over. And somehow this conversation just ends up keep it keeps on going and then the stranger ends up going to thanksgiving dinner with this random grandmother who had texted them and this is now something that has been going on for six years this tradition has kept like even this i mean this is a sadder point of of uh husband has unfortunately passed, and they're still going. Like, they've kept on the tradition of these two complete stranger families have met up and created their own tradition that they have Thanksgiving together. That is awesome.

It's a really hard. That's amazing i was so happy to hear that that started six years ago and is ongoing because if that happened this year i'd be holding my breath for like grandmother sure that yeah for the bad part right from the bad part of the stranger that she let into the house but um that is delightful so you're saying if you if you randomly text some people you could end up with a friendship you could and and you could end up with a net? You could, and you could end up with a Netflix deal because apparently Netflix has picked up the story and they're going to run something about the families that you choose.

So it's like, that's a feel-good story, man. That's fantastic. There was in the news this last couple weeks, there was some Notre Dame prep school basketball team that was making a group text, and they accidentally texted one digit off from the Buccaneers football team. Yeah, and it was a player from the Buccaneers, and then they ended up chatting with everybody, Lenny and Tom Brady. We got to start just randomly texting people.

That might not be the best. Do you want to go see spider-man meet me here random person no you start with just the text but are you just are you but are you throwing out a name like hoping you're like uh oh that that's too hard you don't want to throw out the name you just you just want to leave it ambiguous start a conversation with a new friend like peyton no no no no because then they say you have the wrong number. You've got to start the process with, with a little bit of question in the air.

Okay. I like that story. That's a good one. It's fun. You want to draft? Let's do it. You do not need to wait until new year to start achieving your fitness goals, Spitwads. Peloton makes working out simple, convenient, and fun.

You're talking about a workout experience that's exciting. I've said it before. I am not the, like, just do the routine thing and not enjoy myself type of workout. You want the competition, the leaderboard. Thank you. Sports, competing with one another, even having one or two people that you can make your goal to beat them. That gets you going. And Peloton makes it entertaining and fun.

The two pieces that you need. You don't want it to be a chore. You want something new to discover. You got new classes, new instructors, new music, and the competition element that I absolutely love. And you can get free access to the Peloton app when you get a bike as well. So you can use that. My wife likes doing the classes off the bike and she turns the screen and she does them right there in the room. Visit onepeloton.com to learn more. Try Peloton classes free for the rest of the year. New members only. Visit onepeloton.com slash app to learn more.

Terms apply. Peloton. When your workout is a joy, it is a joy to work out. The Spitballers Draft. All right, we are drafting the best Christmas traditions, which there are so many. And this is probably, you know, very subjective. Everybody has the different things that they like about Christmas. Our friends down in Australia, they like to go tanning on Christmas. They go to the beach.

It's the best beach day of the year. But there's a lot of things that people do around christmas time i'm gonna tell you right now i don't know what my number one pick is yet even right now i'm gonna tell you you gotta figure that out pretty soon and so there are so many different things that you can do i'm trying to think of the thing that at my core says Christmas. I feel like that's the tradition that opens the season that means something special. There are a lot of them, however. Certainly.

To me, it is setting up the Christmas tree. Okay. I had two first picks, and that was one of them. Yeah, and I had a couple that I was really close between. You'll probably take the other one. But, yeah, setting up the Christmas tree is something special. Ever since I've had kids, you know, I have three. They want the tradition done exactly the same every year.

We've got to have some hot cocoa going. Okay. We've got to bring the ornaments out. We've all got our special ornaments that we do that nobody else does. We've got the music playing. So we throw Elf on in the right house. In the background. When I think about Christmas, let's say it's not the Christmas season or it's coming close,

putting up the Christmas tree, decorating it with the family, that is one of those traditions that is looked on so fondly, with such high regard. When the day comes and you're having to set it up, it's always a nightmare for me. Nothing ever works. The kids don't want to do it. It's one of those that is on my list where it's like i like this in theory but it it's just never what i want it to be

oh i'm sorry to hear that it's okay all right so oh i do have a sorry to interrupt i wanted to google um top christmas traditions in australia since that is what this podcast is about. The number one, and this is from many sources, the number one tradition is surfing Santa. Santa on a surfboard. It's a different world over there. Okay. That's awesome.

Yeah. All right. I've never thought of that one, but I like it. Number two is eating prawns. No, it's awesome. Yeah. All right. I've never thought of that one, but I like it. Number two is eating prawns. No, it's not. Yeah. Apparently, that's a big Christmas tradition. Getting the prawns on?

So, like, throwing a shrimp on the barbie isn't too far off? No. Oh, cliches. All right. So, you took the tree. My other number one, you got to go with. I mean, come on. It's opening up the presents.

It's interesting. Those are my two. It's opening up the presence and like everyone, he looks mom and dad, we get our, we have some presence. That's not the focus anymore. It is watching the children, uh, open presents from, you know, from family members, from Santa, whoever, but just watching the joy of them getting surprised, thinking, I didn't think I would get this, and there it is. That's right. Opening up the presents on the Christmas morning. Do you guys do fully Christmas morning?

Do you do the one? Oh, okay, okay. Who wants a little Christmas Eve action in here? We'll see. I was really, really hoping that, let's, let's, uh, he wants a little Christmas Eve action in here. We'll see. Um, I was really, really hoping that, you know, you both of your altruistic natures would not allow you to take opening presents as a great Christmas tradition. Screw that crap. It's the clear one-on-one.

I mean, say whatever you want, but that is, uh, that's kind of the main event. So well done. It was between those two for me in terms of the main event. So well done. Oh, I'm up to for me in terms of favorites. Okay. You get back to back picks. Did you not realize that during this draft you would eventually be picking? I thought Mike had two for some reason and then it was,

I can go again. I'm happy to. All right. There's, there's still a handful that I really, really love. I am going to go with the one, though, that it not only kicks off the season, but it also is throughout the season.

It's a tradition that you get over and over and over and over, and it's Christmas movie nights. Ah, that is near the top of my list. I absolutely love Christmas movies when we throw on, you know, Buddy the Elf and we throw on just, it's always, it brings the family together. The movies are awesome. You know, Christmas movies are fantastic. Some of them?

Well, sure. I mean, they're not all winners, but I do. I love family movie nights and Christmas just makes it all the more special. What if you picked again? That would be incredible. I'm back on the clock. Here's something that we do every time we set up our Christmas treat. It's a twofer in the Moore family.

It is a must on our holiday traditions it's probably our like when we think about just our family's traditions there's two that come to mind that are every year traditions like really like we will not have a christmas without this thing we do and it really is it's granny linda's cocoa it's hot cocoa night basically okay okay in our family it's granny linda's cocoa my my mother had a recipe of homemade i mean we're talking this is not you know break out the swiss mist or whatever that you know powder that you're putting in hot water this is you're melting down chocolate you're putting i mean. You're drinking liquid chocolate, and it's awesome. But drinking hot cocoa, that is a Christmas-exclusive tradition in our family.

That would be my number two. So your hot cocoa, if you let it sit overnight, would it become a candy bar? Is it that? Impossible to let it sit overnight. Exactly right. It was trick question. Impossible. You take one sip of this thing and it will be an empty mug soon.

And real quick, to piggyback on your first pick, episode 26, we drafted best Christmas movies. So if you haven't heard that, go check it out. That's a good reminder. We've done it all. Mike, you're up. All right. I am going to go. So I got the opening up the presents.

People do this different ways, but I will phrase it as the Christmas light walk. Where you go. I mean, some people do it in the car. You're saying going around and seeing Christmas lights. Christmas lights sightseeing. I don't know how exactly you want to put it, but our neighborhood, somehow our street. They do good work?

Yeah, our street is like- Full psychopaths. Yes. We're pretty close to that point, but- I'm getting there. Where people will drive to go to our street, Yes. We're pretty close to that point. I'm getting there. People will drive to go to our street. It started with one house. We call it the singing house.

This household, they go all out for all holidays. Halloween, Christmas, whatever it is. They have the synced lights. We're talking like if you lived across the street from this house you probably loathe christmas those people because it is so insane but they they did it and now like the houses it's spreading like a virus where the houses next to them are starting to put the lights up, but they sync to the master command of the singing house. Yeah.

So it's just this huge area now of like eight houses all flashing LED lights. But for not living there, it's fantastic. So you walk it. Oh, yeah. I was going to say the house across the street was like if you can't beat them join them because i i just dropped your daughter off at your house the other night they've started to get in on it you turn it's like oh it's nighttime until you turn onto that street and then it's straight up daylight but only every other second because you're right it's literally

strobe light like there are you know there are certain people that should not be on that street that would cause seizures i think mike should just get his answer should just be christmas lights that's fine yeah because i think that in cap i don't want to like pick putting them up separate from sure because you put them up it's the tradition of christmas lights on the house okay fair enough which definitely would have been my next pick so That is my... I said we have two traditions we never go without. One is the hot cocoa.

One is driving around looking at Christmas lights. Yeah. We get cocoa in the mugs. Oh, you combo. And we drive around. They wear their PJs in the car, too. That's the other part. Oh, that's a third one.

Yeah. So, all right. So, now I have to pick twice. And, hmm. Well, I'm going to go with Christmas music. All right, so now I have to pick twice. Well, I'm going to go with Christmas music. Okay. Christmas music is one of the traditions of the season. Again, it goes with the tree.

I love it. I'm intentional about putting it on in the car. I'm at the house. We get the records. We just got the Charlie Brown, Vince. I don't even know how to pronounce it. That Charlie Brown album, the Christmas. Okay., Vince. I don't even know how to pronounce it. That Charlie Brown album, the Christmas. Okay. The Vince.

I don't know his name, but Charlie Brown Christmas. Yeah, the trio. The trio. Wolf Park. We're just throwing out names? The piano music. Great football player. Okay, I see what you mean.

So, yeah, Brooks just said, that's the best Christmas album. So when you talk to your smart speaker, which, you know, Alexa, not a sponsor, what do you say? Alexa, play. That's funny because I do that a lot. Because, like, there's so many different types of Christmas music, but you're on command. What do you tell the computer to play?

Quick sidebar, Vince Guaraldi Trio. That is what the album is. It's amazing. What do I tell? I say, I did this the other day in the car, and I did three different versions. First, I said, play Christmas music. Just generic.

Then I said, on one, my daughter was like, oh, I want to hear Jingle Bells and stuff. So I said, play Christmas music. Okay, just generic. Then I said on one, my daughter was like, oh, I want to hear like Jingle Bells and stuff. So I said, play Christmas classics. Okay. So that's the other one that you go to. And then I might go, if I'm in the mood, play Christmas pop music. Ooh. Yeah, I'm a big fan of the Christmas pop, but it's always when I am auto. Get that in sync on there? When I'm looking for good audio, I usually go with just Alexa play Christmas music.

Okay. Yeah, I go with the Christmas standards or Christmas classics. I want the Bing. I want the Sinatra. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we have the Sinatra Christmas album. Oh, yeah. And between that and the Charlie Brown Christmas album, you don't

need nothing else. I mean, you could live on that. Just breathe it in. Now, real quick, because this could be playing you know, I assume we are this good audio is playing through a nice speaker. Yeah, very high-five. Whoever they are. So, real quick, if we could just do this for the listener. Okay. Alexa, play Christmas

music. Yeah, what just happened in your house? Nothing to mine because mine is called computer. And exactly 100 episodes ago on episode 76, we drafted best Christmas songs. Oh, well, there you go. We did? We did. Al came prepared.

Well, we've just done it all. Have we done best Christmas traditions before? Is there an episode I can go listen to? We've done the worst ones, but not the best ones. So now I have one more pick here, right? As we swing back around. You went Christmas. Do you?

Did you take two? No. Okay. I have decorating the tree and I have Christmas music. You guys have done a great job of stripping me of my favorites. So I think what I'm going to go with now is Christmas dinner. Okay. I'm going to go with the Christmas dinner.

It's the tradition. Jack in the Box? Not Mike's Christmas dinner. You can draft that on your own. But the family around the Christmas table, you know, you share a bunch of food and ham and whatever you're making, and you got music going and the spirit and desserts. Christmas desserts are great.

It's wonderful. I'm getting into it. I'm so excited. You're putting it in the spirit now? Yeah. There we go. All right. Da-da-da-da.

Okay. My regular Mr. Kringly. All right, I'm going to go with... These are... This... Whatever. Poles, whatever. This is a very specific for the rights.

I think it's a lot of people actually now do it, but I will go with the ice skating. That doesn't get to happen a lot around these parts when you live in the desert. But at Christmastime, there is... You do that every year, don't you? Yeah, we do. There is a particular area shopping complex where they deck everything out. They do the fake snow, and they put up an ice rink.

And they got the Christmas jams going on, and we always go once a year we go have ourselves a good ice skate and you have which is basically everyone trying to remember how to ice skate and people uh bruising up the butt cheeks a little bit maybe the elbows do skating i don't do ice skates and that is one that you if we had worst christmas traditions that would be on my list because i you should you should learn man it's a delight that goes with his other christmas tradition of um christmas time hospital visit yes um no thank you all right so i am i must keep your butt down you're good okay now i assume this is on the ice it's yeah sure can't fall if you're already there i would love to go ice skating if i get a sled you just is... Like on the ice? Yeah, sure. You can't fall if you're already there. I would love to go ice skating if I get a sled.

You just pull me around on the ice. Well, I think they have like... I think they could provide like... Not a walker, but something like that to help you keep your balance. A walker? An ice walker, yeah. It's what they use to teach kids how to skate. I need more than two legs is what you're saying.

Yes. All right, so I assume that this one is different enough than Mike's. Override it if you want. I've got enough on my list. But it is something we do every year. And it is a real tradition. And this is why I cut you off. Because we always have the one Christmas Eve present.

Yeah, it's different enough for me. You get to open one present on Christmas Eve. I loved it. I've had that since I was a kid. And when Tiffany and I were getting married and we're getting our first Christmas, I was like, is this going to be, can we still do the one on Christmas Eve thing? And she was all about it. All right.

Now, can I ask a question about that? Yes. This has been informative for my own traditions compared to your guys'. Is that a random gift for your family, or is it always the same thing? Because we do that, but they always get new Christmas PJs. Yeah, so here's the truth. It used to be a gift. One of the gifts I will give you on Christmas Eve.

Who picked the gift? The giver or? The giver. The giver would pick which one you get to open on Christmas Eve. And now over the last pretty much decade, so this is what it is now. And I didn't say this because it's lame. But yes, it's the pajamas. Now we always open pajamas on christmas eve i think

do you do the matching the whole family no no we've done it before but for the most part everyone gets like a a new pj set that they would love to wear they wake up at christmas morning in the pjs and all right that way the pictures look good close out out your draft there. I'm going to go. There's a few left. I'm going to do reading the Christmas story. That's one where every Christmas can't go through Christmas without the reason for the season. So my family, we always read the Christmas story on Christmas Eve. Wonderful.

That's my tradition. Mike? This one is very specific to the rights, but this is how I grew up. Jack in the Box. No, no. This is way better than Jack in the Box. You'll be in on this one. Disneyland.

Disneyland during the holidays has been a trip I have taken probably 80% of my life. You did that as a kid? Yes. We live in Arizona, so you're six hours away in the car from Disneyland. And if you have not experienced Disneyland for the holidays and you've got the ability, trust me,

bring your children to Disney while all the Christmas stuff is up. It is a magical, magical trip. Mike, this is a very big show, and if you tell people to do that, it's going to be more busy when I go. I take it all back. That place sucks. My family just got back from Disneyland. Oh, brother.

And it was Christmassed out. And I'm telling you, if you go, you got to do the fireworks show. Oh, yeah. In Main Street. In Main Street. You got to find a spot in Main Street. Oh, man. It's wonderful.

I will not tell you whether I cried with my children. That's fine. But also, I cried a lot. One of our trips, we got my wife's brother to bring his family down. And they are not Disney people. That's like, there are Disney people and there are not Disney people. And there are scoundrels. But we got them to go.

We got them to agree because it's expensive to go. And we did. We did the fireworks. And this guy was bawling. Just bawling. And he's like like this is amazing yeah it's like that's right this place is magical during the holidays

well I'll add that to my Disneyland list yes sir alright I'll close things out with something that Christmas does a tradition that I think it begets in almost everybody which is Christmas giving because it's an amazing time of year it begets in almost everybody, which is Christmas giving.

Because it's an amazing time of year with, you know, whether it's Angel Tree or toy drives or families and the ability to come together as human beings with slightly more concern for other people than for ourselves. The tradition of giving at Christmas is one that I appreciate. And it seems like a time in which tradition transcends things that are going on around you. And Christmas can get people just a little bit happier. I love that. Yeah, it's great.

You guys, did you ever hear the story of, I believe it was World War I? I've heard of World War I, yes. Yeah, no, look. Heck of a story. World War I. I've heard of World War I, yes. Yeah, no, look. Heck of a story. World War I, terrible time. But there's a story about on Christmas, like somehow... Oh, the ceasefire?

There was a ceasefire, and the opposing sides got together and did something, which is just... Before going back to killing one another. Right, and previously, that's all they were doing. It's like the insane power of the holidays and Christmas. Yeah, that owl, the Christmas truce of 1914? Correct.

Like, this is, that is absurd. I can't even imagine what they're going on, what they've got going on with their lives. And they're like, no, it's Christmas. Time out. We're all going to hang out and celebrate Christmas. That's pretty crazy. Wow. Now, one that I'm glad none of us chose was Christmas caroling.

Oh, man. Oh, get it out of my life. It's awful. I wouldn't subjugate myself or others to that. awful i would i wouldn't subjugate myself or others to that i was as a child uh the rights are a very musical family not just mine but our entire extended family you have to do i was dragged to oh i'm many many caroling sessions if i opened my door and there was a good group of good carolers i think that would be awesome right i would not mind that. I think that that would be really good. It's never happened in my life, but that would be great.

You're not going to know unless the door is open. And then if they're bad, you just... You have to sit there. All the slow clothes. And I wouldn't slow close. I would sit there and wait forever. Wait, we talked about caroling on the worst traditions, Jeremy? We did.

You guys are staying true to form. Yeah, that sounds right. All right. What did we learn today? What did we learn? I learned that Mike went skydiving. I had no idea. I've known Mike a long time.

And knowing Mike now as a person who doesn't go on all the crazy rides and does get sick now, I was shocked to find that out. Yeah. Do you have one? Now I was shocked to find that out. Yeah. Do you have one? Yeah.

I learned that the Santa surfs in Australia this time of year, which is summer. Yeah. And I, I've never really thought about it, but I learned that the pillow is the most important part of sleeping. That's a good point. It's true. That'll do it for today's Spitballers episode.

Thank you for tuning in, supporting the show, sharing it with your friends. Leave us a review. We read them all, and they're wonderful. Enjoy your holidays. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com. Hey, Spitwads.

Hey. The episode is over. Oh, no. Aw. And there may be others that you could listen to, but right now, you should go to jointhespit.com because you can become

an official Spitwad supporter of the show. Yeah, you could, Mike. It's true. I've been there. We've made that a possibility at jointhespit.com and you can add your contributions to the show. Have a would you rather question you want us to maybe put here and discuss?

Pa-toing! Is that you spitting into the spit tank? You have access to the spit tank the spit sound like a spittoon wait is that not a that is the same thing right oh that's the same thing yeah can we go to spittoon.com or no we don't own spittoon.com all right but you can go to join the spit.com and become a spitwad that is check it out excellent