Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 182: Chest Plates & The Best Logos - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: February 14, 2022

Listen in to hear all about Jason’s new “gym” that he “works out” at. We also talk about walking pains, freak feet, and chest plates. We then do some ‘Highway To Spell’ and wrap up the show with a draft of the best logos. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

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That's ipvanish.com slash ballers, I-P-V-A-N-I-S-H dot com slash ballers. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Rat-a-tat-tat-tat, bing, bang, boom. Oh, man. Super jazzy. It said bing, bang-ity, boom. That would have got it going a little bit.

No, I actually... You like the pause? I appreciated the pause. I appreciate that you allowed a little bit of space in your scat because usually the scat just is non-stop go until you realize you're

at the bottom of the hill that you just fell down. Scatting, we don't need time signatures. We don't. This is episode 182 of the Spitballers, so look, there's 182 scats or about there. It was scatting in 732. No big deal. Just mixing it up a little bit. Great show for you today. Got a review we're going to read. We got Would You Rather, Highway to Spell.

Oh no, is that real? I didn't. You didn't process that. No, I did not process that. I knew Jeremy just gave the rundown, but I don't listen to him. Right. Wow, that sucks. Is your computer muted? Yes, it is. Okay.

We were drafting today, too. To go backwards real quick, you guys have a better memory than I do, and I'm speaking to Mike. Did we start scatting right off the bat? No. Or that came in... It was a very... Probably about five or six episodes in.

It was a pretty impromptu thing. I think it was in the 20s. Oh, okay. It was a ways later. Yeah. And then there was a conversation followed of, like, we all had been doing it in our heads. I don't remember who did it, though.

We stopped scatting after the 182nd episode. Yeah, I do remember that. We need a spitballer's historian. A what? A spittorian. A spittorian. Someone to log the annals of this incredible- I'm not logging any annals. That's for darn sure.

Who came up with that word? I'll put together the first scat, and I will tweet that out once the show airs. The annals of time. The annals of history. How do you spell that word? Let me see. I think it is A-N-A-L-S. No, it's not.

No, it's not. It's not the annals of history. How do you spell it? Oh, is it two N's? Yes, it's two N's. That's what I said. All right. Warming up.

I have so many places I could go. Warming up. None of which I will. At SpitballersPod on Twitter, at JasonFFL, at FFHitman, at Andy Holloway if you want to follow us. YouTube.com slash Spitballers to watch the show. Let's read a review. Review Asaurus Rex. to watch the show. Let's read a review. Review-a-saurus rags.

This one comes in from T-Word2015. Five stars. It says, brain expanding material. Yeah. I don't know how you guys keep getting better. Andy, Mike, and Jason are by far the best hosts around. Relatable, funny, and sometimes dumb. Okay.

Wait. That part is not true. That's fair, though. What? It's their review. They can say whatever they want, funny, and sometimes dumb. Okay. Wait. That part is not true. That's fair, though. What? It's their review. They can say whatever they want, but that's not true. The show has it all. I feel like my brain has expanded threefold due to the rationale behind Would You Rathers

and Great Questions. I started with the fantasy footballers, and I was in on the ground floor of the spitballers. They should all change their last names to Midas because everything they touch seems to turn to gold. That's a very self-aggrandizing review. It is. Your favorite kind. And I appreciate it, except we as a society, maybe this is an American thing.

Okay. The Midas touch. No, no, no. As a society, maybe this is an American thing. Okay. The Midas touch. No, no, no. It's the Midas touch.

Except the story of King Midas and his wish or however he gets the power of turning everything to gold is in fact a cautionary tale against greed because everything in fact he touches turns to gold, including food and his children. Oh, man. That sounds pretty cool, though. I mean, pretty cool. At the end of that story, if you remember, the lore was that he then started a complete and total car care company. Oh, that's right.

He did have the Midas touch. Yeah. Are they a brake company? They're full service, Mike. Full service? Full service, yeah. Do they create all of their car parts from 24-karat gold? No, unfortunately not.

At least plate them. You know what I mean? Like a nice paint job. I'm not sure it's false advertising. Gold doesn't really, would it hold up in that situation? Gold is pretty strong though, right? I think it's a soft metal. Okay.

I don't know. This is the dumb part. This is the sometimes dumb. I thought it was actually kind of her to say sometimes dumb. Okay. Yeah, you run it over there. Now I'm very confused. Although gold is very strong, it is the most malleable of all metals.

See, that's what I thought too. I thought it was strong, but can be. Its greatest strength is its weakness. Gold. That just means it can be shaped without cracking or breaking. Yeah. So you make it hot, and then you shape it, and it doesn't crack and break. Correct.

That's probably one of the reasons it's popular, right? And the shiny. Because it'd be formed into, and it's rare, and it can be formed into things. When did this happen? and the shiny. Because it'd be formed into, and it's rare, and it can be formed into things. Why is, when did this happen? Like, what is the history of gold? Of,

you're like, no, this, that one, that's the one. That's the one that's super valuable. Well, I mean,

you could say that about anything. Silver, diamonds, emeralds. I mean, it's rarity. It's the most, like,

justifiable economic system, though, is it not? You go find something that's rare and exchange it for goods and services yeah that i think gold is the standard but why do we call it why the gold standard but why do we want it is is is it just the human existence like well not everyone can have it so i must have it yeah a little bit yeah all it is. A little bit, yeah. At this point, it's just... We are so stupid. We follow the crowd. It makes sense because you can't just...

Like, I can't just exchange a giant object for another giant object, right? But I'm saying... That's impractical, Mike. But gold does nothing to the survival of a human. Well, neither does a yacht, but I'd still want one. No, but a yacht is at least... It's comfortable on the water. What are you talking about?

I survive on the water because of a yacht. So you're saying to you an economic basis should be its usability? Like an independent function. I'm just asking some questions. I was rich, but then I ate all my money because it served a purpose of nourishment. The human race, we're strange. Well, that I will not argue with. We do weird stuff.

And let's get to some more serious matters. Would you rather? Joshua from the website writes this one. He says, would you rather be able to teleport anywhere, but once you get there, you feel like you've walked there, or be able to walk anywhere, but once you get there, you feel like you've teleported there. So you imagine a teleportation.

No fatigue walking. No fatigue, yeah. But you do have to walk there. But you do have the fatigue on the walk, right? You just lose it when you arrive? I don't think so yeah that would be that would be too easy to answer if the walk was fatiguing itself you're saying you walk anywhere and you have no fatigue ever no fatigue it just takes time the constraint is the time yeah exactly or instant but when you're there you instantly feel like you are killing you oh but that would be potentially devastating because if you said

you're going to teleport to like right now i want to go to mount everest the base of mount everest you would just collapse yeah you would wake you when you come out of the teleportation you you might have like broken legs or something that's also just a a really bad idea like i'd like to teleport in a volcano please uh so like, like, let's say we teleport to work. Okay, we live, you know, a 15-minute drive from the studio here. You wouldn't be too bad then. Oh, man, if I, in my current oval shape, were to walk here, when I got here, I would... You'd be fine.

My feet, I would saw them off to be free of them. Oh, 100%. How do you survive? You need to go to one of those running stores and get your feet shaped. Oh, hey, I've got a story. Okay. So this pertains... I want to know why this

happens. So today, I went to... that's not a story that's a question well the story will present a question okay the story is simply this i went to the gym today i've been trying to go to the gym workout good for you get my fat butt in shape um and a different shape a lot of people want a fat butt i I'm just going to throw that out there. I've got the badonkadonk. You can have it if you could take it. So I go and I've been doing the elliptical for 45 minutes. We play pickleball, two hours of exercise.

So today I went on a machine I have not been on in maybe ever. It was called a treadmill. And I put it on a machine I have not been on in maybe ever. It was called a treadmill. Oh, yeah. And I put it on a walk. I put it on a brisk walk. Nothing more. Hold on, hold on. Is that a preset brisk walk?

Yeah, that was my question. Is this a number that you have decided is a walk or it has a button that says brisk walk? No, I put it to 3.5. That was just my number that i put it to and this is you can't jog this out of 10 slow to jog i don't know i never went higher than 3.5 on a brisk walk but it is a fast walk and i could not do my the front of my shins burned so bad that i was doing everything in my power to make it to 10 minutes of walking. I couldn't do it.

Hold on. Let me color this in a little bit. When we used to work out together, the number one thing that you had an issue with was your feet and your shins. Yeah. And we would do certain exercises and you'd complain about your feet and your shins. I mean, I literally was like, I using the the the handles like the rails on the side to prop myself up and i'm walking so who wants to tell them oh wait is there an answer to this what is you are deformed i think the answer is when's the last time you went when's the last

time you went like on a on a walk like outside like around the block take the dogs for a walk something like that we've been going on walks i walked like around the block. Take the dogs for a walk, something like that. We've been going on walks. I walked to dinner the other night with the family. So it was over a mile and I was fine. Hold, wait, hold. There are so many things happening right now. You walked to dinner?

Yeah. Where did you go? Culver's. No, Culver's. McDonald's. I figured I'm allowed to eat it if I walk there you ubered home didn't you um no but i went to sushi at kawaii if you want to know shout out not a sponsor you walked there though yeah yeah we we walked there by choice by choice for exercise for activity and but my

my shins didn't hurt but this brisk walk was it on an incline? No, no incline. I just, I don't understand, but I guess it's just a matter of like, if I keep my legs moving at a, like I don't get any breaks, they terrorize me. The pain was insane. And I felt so stupid because I'm walking on a treadmill. I don't know. I don't know why your shins hurt. What's worse for you, Andy, on a walk? Not a walk. Walking on a treadmill. I don't know. I don't know why your shins hurt. What's worse for you, Andy, on a walk? Not a walk.

Walking to a destination. Time or pain? Not pain ever. I can walk for a long, long, long, long time. It's only the time. That's it. No fatigue at all. We're not really a walking city here in Phoenix.

No, but I did a lot of walking. But like in New York, if you take a visit to New York, are you more of a like, we could get an Uber or whatever. No, let's hoof it. It's only 10 blocks. It's just the time. The time is the thing that dissuades me from any, that would dissuade me from anything like that.

Because like this last week, I was recovering from surgery. I had nothing to do. I figured walking is going to help a little bit went on lots of long walks i don't get tired from a walk i just get it's just like if you were trying to get somewhere it would take a long time so if you were to walk to the studio you would be completely fine so now you just have teleportation to work yeah you do disneyland you walk in disneyland do your shins hurt in Disneyland? My feet hurt so bad I had to like... Oh, really?

You're telling me you escape Disneyland without feet pain? None. Wow. What? You are a machine. You should be tested for by science. I told my wife, I go, this is crazy. We did three straight days in both parks back and forth between the

park i never felt a problem i had to get uh some insoles immediately after day one this was quite the detour yeah i will tell you an embarrassing story about walking that i did on this trip let's go all right so since i had nothing to do recovering from surgery i was walking around and then for for whatever reason i thought you know what a great destination is, is Culver's. Yeah, of course. And it's on a public road. So like I go up to the main road and then I walk a long ways on a main road where lots of cars are driving by.

And I would walk all the way to Culver's and get a gigantic ice cream sundae. Yes, as one does. And then I'd walk while gigantic ice cream sundae as one does and then I'd walk the while I eat the sundae I do the whole walk back you didn't okay which I feel like is probably a strange sight to see a grown man in the middle of the day eating a giant sundae like his life depended on it spoon might I have or a bowl of cone spoon so that that makes it even weirder to me. Right? You're using both hands walking down the street. I felt ridiculous.

And I am going to town. I mean, it's a big Sunday. I've got to do some work. And, you know, chocolate syrup and everything. What's weirder? A guy walking or a guy standing there? Like, just standing on the sidewalk eating a bowl of ice cream. No bus stop in sight.

Just standing. No, just staring out in the traffic. At the crosswalk. Light is walk, but he's just watching traffic, eating his ice cream. I should have taken a few steps into the empty field and just stood there, eating the ice cream. Don't look at me. I'm hideous.

The police will show up. It just feels like you really do instantly erase any benefit the walk could have produced for you oh that's that's the suckiest part is exercises burns no calories like that's one thing i've learned is like i mean it does but i'm just saying to burn off like a walk if you want to eat a big mac you're gonna need to walk for 52 miles for the equal that is true caloric burn do you have a uh this gym you're going to is there a pool there is there's a very fancy pool okay it's heated what makes a pool fancy just the heat it's that's the only difference regular pool heated pool is just just all water right it also has a giant water slide whoa whoa hold on hold on sound like

exercise there's a water slide like it's a lap pool, and there's a water slide? There's a lot of pool parts to this. Is this for the kids? Yeah, I mean, that's the slide part is for the children. Have you considered going down the slide while eating ice cream? New goal. In the gym. New goal.

In the gym, water slide, slide going down eating ice cream. B-Y-O-I-C in that gym. Full banana split. Oh, man. This gym no joke has a full bar. I'm not kidding. What? No, no, no, no.

Hold on, hold on, hold on. It's real. What? I went with him the other day and I was shocked that you walked through the lobby. No. There's drafts on tap. It's a full bar. What?

Now I know why you joined this gym. Yeah. I've been working out five days a week, honey. They also have a restaurant, which that's great. I like eating it when I go to the gym. That's my goal. Hold on. My mind is just exploding right now.

They have a full restaurant? A full restaurant and a full bar. So the banana split thing is very possible here. I don't know if they have a banana split, but they have some. Is this a country club? It's trying to be a country club. It's a gym that's trying to be a country club. Okay.

No golf yet. Also, just send me the information. And also, just want to check it out. The answer is, of course, teleportation. If you pay the gym fees, you'll teleport and take the pain? Of course I will.

Yeah, that one's... That doesn't mean I have to teleport. If I get the... Honestly, I'd always teleport to the hospital in the city I want to go to. Right. That way I can get just the help I need. Send me to the burn unit.

And now all I'm thinking about is paying that monthly fee for that gym just to go down the slide over and over again every day. I'm here for my 10 slides. Is there like a – How many reps did you – I did 12 reps on the slide today. Three sets. Three sets of 12.

Three sets of 12. Yeah. I did some down sets of 12. Yeah. I did some down on my belly. Some face first. I wanted to work the chest, so I went head first. Okay. No, you need to bring two dumbbells to the slide. I want you down the slide doing dumbbell curls. Wait, dumbbell?

Dumbbell. What did I say? You were definitely saying done. Well, yeah, because I'm done with them. Hold on. No, tell us the truth. Did you think it was done, Bell, until this very moment of your life? Honestly, I didn't think about it. I just said it like I've said it.

So I probably said it that way before. Okay. Are you not doing teleportation? I'm doing the walk, man. It feels like you were instantly there, but your time is still gone. Well, I understand that, but it's like, where i'm going to walk man but it feels like you were instantly there but your time is still gone i don't well i understand that but it's like where am i gonna where will i actually teleport no this is i'm gonna i'm gonna prove you wrong right now yeah let's go let's go you get this power are you walking to work no okay so what's the point because i got a car

okay so what's the point of it rather teleport to car. Okay. So what's the point of it? But wouldn't you rather teleport to work? Not, well, I'm with Jason. I'm not with freak feet over here. If I walk seven miles, my feet are going to be a little achy. All right. Let me ask you this. You got to go to the bathroom right now, Mike. Would you like to teleport there or walk?

Oh, I didn't think of small distances. Yeah. Oh, I would teleport everywhere. I would wait. In his house. When I'm at a restaurant and they're guiding me to the table, I would wait. I'd just watch and wait where our table is, and then boom, I would teleport there. No more walking in my life.

The waiter turns around and you're already there? Yes. I just can't figure out why you would ever use the walking one if you wouldn't even walk to work what situation would you use it and that would benefit you i'm not sure but the the idea that i can walk forever and and and feel no pain it's very interesting to me okay all right we'll just leave it there matt from the website would you rather punch a sheet rock wall full force or get punched in the chest full force by one of your co-hosts? Okay.

I'd rather punch the sheetrock. I've got a question. Yeah. Sheetrock is not drywall? It is drywall. It is. Sheetrock is- Just tell me where the studs are and I'll punch that wall.

Yeah. I mean, this isn't a two by four. This is a pretty layup question. Do I have to gamble on the studs? Yes. Oh, okay. I can do a little knock-knock on the wall. Yeah.

What if you don't get to? No, I mean, I'm assuming it's a- Even if you can't- You just have to blindly swing. Even if you can't knock-knock, you have a very good chance, at least in Arizona homes where they- No, you do. Yeah.

They spread out the two by fours- 12 to 16 inches. A little bit wider than they're supposed to be. You've got a higher- It's every 12 feet. Yeah, but I'm saying. 12 feet? I'm saying Arizona.

Yes. I'm punching. What? Your odds are very low that you're going to break your hand on it. And worst case, you break your hand. Well, that is a worst. And when I'm punching the chest, this is not the belly. This is like my heart.

Where are you punching me? Your chest plate. If Jason punches you in the chest i'm in trouble yeah like you could that would be really really i guess i'd probably prefer him to punch me in the in the abs well sure up or down just not in the middle not that solar plexus knock me out yeah i mean the reality is worst case scenario with the punch is you break your hand and that is a worse scenario i, than one solid punch to the chest. I think we can all absorb one.

It's not going to be fun. It's going to hurt. We're going to hate it. It's going to be sore for days. But it's not going to be in. I don't think any of us with one punch would. You can definitely crack somebody's ribs with a punch to the chest, right? Well, not to the chest.

To the ribs, definitely. What do you think is in your chest? Your ribs. That's your rib cage. The front? The chest? Those are right here. What I'm touching... That's not a rib. Well, not one. How do you think they do open heart surgery?

They crack ribs open. There's a chest plate. That's not a rib. Nobody has a chest plate unless you are a paladin in World of Warcraft. Okay, when I Google chest plate, there's a lot of armor. I don't see. I want you teaching a class. Chest bones. Head and shoulders, knees and chest plate.

Oh, those are all ribs. Those are definitely ribs. Okay. Learning something. Uh-huh. Those are definitely ribs. Okay. Learning something. Uh-huh. All right. Yeah. They go around the front.

They sure do. And to the back. Yeah. But in my defense. Hold on. But I got to. What is in your mind? What is there?

What has been there? What I see is like. what is there what what has been there in my mind is a little tiny like think of like a bone shield think of like a small superman logo not like the load but like that's that shape of a of a bone and all the ribs come to that. And apparently I'm looking at skeletons. That's not how it is at all. You're just looking at skeletons? Yeah.

But again, in my defense, they do come together to a more solid bone structure. Your sternum. Sternum! That's what the chest plate is. Is a chest plate a sternum? It's not that big. No, it's not. I thought it was way larger than that. You could break a rib punch at someone

in the chest. That's for sure. Thank you. I'm dead. I'm dead. Wow. Boo-doo! Stank Face wants to to know would you rather spend the night in a shady motel in a bad area or in your car parked in a nice neighborhood stink face thank you for your question stink face um what's the question spinning the night in a shady motel in a bad area or in your car parked in a nice neighborhood i am taking the ladder i think i am too getting reported to the local hoa by karen will not be a problem for me

in my car have you ever slept in a car overnight um no i don't think so no have you no okay i never have it sounded like you were going to tell us how bad it was no i don't think so. No. Have you? No. I never have. It sounded like you were going to tell us how bad it was. No, I don't think it would be a problem. I think it would be a nightmare. No, back seat. No, no, no. Here's the deal. I'm taking this a step further.

Okay. Well, this is... It's a motorcycle. That would be a good step forward. But my step forward. If you're on a motorcycle, are you going arms crossed? I think you'd have to lay forward towards the handlebar. Like head on the handlebar.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead and tell me what you were. You're upping the ante. My ante upper was that it's your family. It's not just you. You're all sleeping in the motel in the so you're in a bad neighborhood you're in the captain chair or you're in the driver's seat or the passenger seat to be honest the family makes me more confident of the nice neighborhood because the truth is i'm more worried about possible dangers and i wouldn't be concerned about danger

if i'm in that neighborhood other than having somebody tap, tap, tap on the glass and say, go away. Okay. As opposed to if I'm in a really bad place, I would be more worried about my family's well-being. So if it's just better to sleep in the car in the bad neighborhood, so like rather than in the hotel, just so you quick getaway. You know what I mean?

I don't think so. Wait, quick getaway. You're than in the hotel. Just so you quick getaway. You know what I mean? I don't think so. Wait, quick getaway? You're already in the car. Well, why can't you be in the good neighborhood? No, no, no. I'm not saying better than that. I'm saying better than in the hotel room. He's thinking you're stuck in the hotel room when somebody's coming to get you.

No, I don't want to be in the car in the bad neighborhood. That seems worse of all of them. Mike, do you have an answer here? I just, like, I can't sleep on a plane, really. And that's essentially what you will be in. But maybe in this bad neighborhood, there's some gunshots. There's somebody accidentally knocking on your door. You're hearing sounds outside.

You're going to sleep through that? What kind of mattress are we talking about here? The sheetrock's got a punching hole through it. Wait, the mattress is the sheetrock? No. I mean, I guess the mattress is springs. I mean, this is a thin spring mattress. This is not a nice.

Oh, that's not much better than sleeping in a car. No. No, it's a shady motel mattress. It's not clean. That's not all that's on the mattress. Do I have a blacklight? No, thankfully, no. No, and don't check underneath it either.

Yeah, you want bed bugs? No, I'm definitely staying in my car. Oh, I didn't think about bed bugs. Yeah. Have you ever had any? I have a friend who found bed bugs. Bed bugs in your car? Those are car bugs.

Yeah. You have a friend who had bed bugs and you want to talk about them? No, no. I just, you were asking. Yeah, have you ever had any interaction? Because that sounds. With a bedbug? Yeah, that sounds awful.

Yeah, that sounds like an nightmare. Because you cannot get rid of them. That sounds like how I think of lice. I feel like people can't get rid of lice. Yeah, it's much worse than lice though. I've never dealt with either, but they sound horrific. Don't you have to fog the room or something? Yeah, you have to i think you

have to like bomb your house for we did the lice thing once where the kids came home they got lice oh check everyone checked me like yep dad's got it and and we wrapped like we went when you shaved your head no no but uh i like i think my brother-in-law did that where it's like that was his response. That's such an easy thing to fix it. Yeah. Yes. If you could shave your head and you're fine with that, that would work.

At the time, I had really long hair. But we bagged everything up. That's a nightmare. It's not an easy thing when you start going through everything. Can you get them in your beard? Can you get lice in your beard? Those, I believe, are called crabs. Are they really?

I don't know. Okay. Dude, I have no idea. You ever use dumbbells before? I don't know. Oh, my gosh. Head lice may also live in the eyebrows. What? No.

No, no, no, no. Beard and eyelashes. Nope, nope, nope. Eyelashes? Nope. That's no, no, no. Beard and eyelashes? Nope, nope, nope. Eyelashes? Nope. That's when you go ahead and fog your whole head. That's a put your hat in the room. See you later.

Oh, man. Eyelashes? If I had lice in my eyelashes. Can I be honest with you guys? I don't really know what a lice is. It's just a tiny little bug. It's a teeny tiny bug. Now now why does it like your hair it's in the i don't know exactly no because you're telling me it can live in your eyelashes why doesn't it live on my cheek like without the

or on my forehead like why only hair i don't know because they hang on to it that's a very good question lice feed on tiny bits of human blood and the hair is just a place where they can hang on. Wow. There you go. And that is, of course, answering the myth that head lice prefer dirty hair. That is not true. I've heard that. What about if you've got a real serious back hair situation?

They can hang on there. They just need anything to hang on to. So fully shaven, the whole body. Yep. That'll get rid of it. Got to go like Gattaca. A Nairbath. A Nairbath. That's one of the cures. so fully shaven the whole body that'll get rid of it a nair bath that's one of the cures alright let's move on

alright spitwads let me thank 10,000 for supporting today's show thank you 10,000 how many times would you like to thank them over 10,000 times the highest quality best fitting most comfortable training shorts I've ever worn. You may have heard us on the show before talking about the incredible training we do.

Well, okay, we play pickleball a lot outside in training shorts. There's nothing like a good pair of training shorts. I need to be able to move. You got to move. You got to groove. You got to slam that pickleball. Skies out, thighs out. That's what Mike says.

I keep my thighs hidden under these 10,000 training shorts. Look, I love them. They're great. They're comfortable. They help me breathe properly. That's what a good training short is. It's not made of wool. They don't make them out of wool, Mike. Not anymore. No wool shorts. That would be real uncomfortable for training purposes. Not anymore. No wool shorts. That would be real uncomfortable for training purposes.

Not anymore. I've been wearing their 7-inch interval short and their versatile short. Versatile shirt as well. The interval short is their most popular, most versatile style. Gym days, whatever you're doing. Maybe you're doing a short run. Maybe you're doing a short walk. Look, honestly, maybe you're just sitting around. They're comfortable. Maybe you're doing a short run. Maybe you're doing a short walk. Look, honestly. I don't care. Maybe you're just sitting around.

They're comfortable. Let's be honest. And 10,000 is offering our listeners 15% off your purchase. Go to 10,000.cc and enter the code BALLERS to receive 15% off your purchase. That is 10,000.cc and enter the code BALLERS. Highway to Spell. Oh, shoot. How many of these have I won in a row?

You've won four in a row, which is why you will be starting one grade harder than everybody else. Oh, yeah. High five, man. All right. Let's go. Well, that's unfortunate. The people love it. Can I? Does that mean I get one grade below? Actually, don't ever do that. Well, that's unfortunate. The people love it.

Does that mean I get one grade below? Actually, don't ever do that. I have way more to lose if I'm starting a grade below and I still am first out. Do I have to start first? You do. So I might just fail to start it off. All right, go ahead. We typically start at sixth grade, so you'll be starting at seventh grade today. Oh, boy. I'm getting a handicap,

gentlemen. Thanks a lot for sucking. Hey, you're welcome. You're the tremendous speller. Alright, go ahead. Atmosphere. Oh, I know this one, right? Atmosphere. A-T-M-O-S P-H-E-R-E

Atmosphere. That's easy. That is correct. Wait, where's my chime? I'm getting there. Where's my chime? I had the wrongE, atmosphere. That's easy. That is correct. Wait. Where's my chime? I'm getting there. Where's my chime? I had the wrong board pulled up. I got you. Thank you.

All right. Atmosphere. Why you give him the easy ones? All right. Hip hop anonymous. So back to sixth grade. Mike, your sixth grade. This better be a sixth grade word.

Here you go. Spaghetti. Oh, man. That's so much harder than the seventh grade. here you go spaghetti are you kidding I don't make the list bro spaghetti I've got mine spelled in there there's hold on there's a is this do you think this is right I think I have it I just know that this one's a little I think a little funky all right oh please be wrong this is great I like this new format. Hold on.

Hold on. We got it. We got it. Your seventh grade word is America. All right. Spaghetti. S-P-A-G-H-E-T-T-I. Yeah, I would have got a two for the record.

Take credit while you can. Exactly. The stress that that just caused upon me is unnecessary. I hate this game. You should move on to my grade level. My heart is hurting. All right, Jason, your sixth grade level word. Scientific.

Okay. Ooh, okay. Hold on. Scientific. I think this one is easy. All right, let's hear it. S-C-I-E-N-T-I-F-I-C. Scientific.

Oh, we all got through first round. Any more brain busters? All right, Andy, you're on to eighth grade. Oh, great. Equilibrium. He said that dumb. Yeah, he did. Equilibrium.

That's better. Well, okay. Equilibrium. That's better. Well, okay. Equilibrium. What I just wrote down has a 0% chance of being right. No words do what I just wrote. Wait. Oh, gosh. There's some problems here.

I'm a little worried. E-Q-U-A-L-I-B-R-I-U-M And I'm not confident What? It's not equilibrium I threw myself off It's E-Q-U-I-L Right?

That is correct Yeah I answered too quickly I should have given myself an extra second there I had the Did you have it wrong, Mike? I had it with the I first. Yeah, so did I. And that's exactly

what I did. And I said, no, that's wrong. So I had it with the U, but I had an A at the end. Equilibrium. No, you have an A in the front, though. That's wrong. Yeah. Wait, what? It's not equal, like A-L. It's I-L. I had it right. I wrote it

right two times, and then I wrote it with an A, and that was wrong. That's why. What a loser. And I just went forward with it. I was trying to see the movie poster. Actually, I'm not out. Well, you're not out. If Mike and I both get our words wrong, then you are back in.

Yeah, that's right. But from my understanding, seventh grade words are the easiest. Which pasta do I have next? Pen A. All right, Mike. Here's your seventh grade level word. Exhibit. Oh, come come on now it's over is this the the like the rapper x gonna give it to you is that right oh come on this it just looks wrong now it's probably right exhibit e-x-h-i-b-i-t okay thank goodness i had thank

goodness okay so now mike you win if i get this wrong yeah if you want to throw it there's a there's a two ski you win you win you win with an asterisk go on all right jason your seventh grade level word psychology oh come on it's done it's over it's over how much what how many i read how many minutes do i get my money offer is what is retracted 30 more seconds what's the word psychology um uh okay okay all right oh man all right psychology oh that was wrong. P-S-Y-C-H-O-L-O-G-Y. That's right. Yeah. Now, the asterisks will go away if we get past the grade that you went out on.

Right? You'd have to give the asterisks up then. That's fair. Dude. Andy would not say it. Andy would not say it. His eyes are saying that he is a man of honor he just won't say it out loud

that's fine we accept your alright Mike you're on to 8th grade here's your word perseverance oh no that's a pretty tough one there's some options in that one oh no I don't know if you have the perseverance to

I could literally spell this word 50 different ways there are 50... I could literally spell this word 50 different ways. There are 50 ways I could get this wrong. There's... There are so many places to put extra vowels. I mean... There are so many. How many R's?

How many is E's or A's? Oh, man. Come on. Let's get to high school, boys. You can do it. There's no way. Hold on. I'm going to write it out. One more. out one more yeah i wrote it i've got my shot sir no way yeah i mean no way impossible okay what okay perseverance Okay, perseverance. Do it. Take your shot.

P-E-R-S-E-R-V-E-R-I-E-N-C-E. Nope. I heard an I-E in there, and I know that ain't part of it. There's no I? I'll spell it slowly. P-E-R-S-E-V-E-R-A-N-C-E. Oh, baby. I would have got it right.

Yes. So I edited it. You put in some new sounds. I've always said the word perseverance. Yeah. Yeah. So it's perseverance. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. So if Jason gets this, he gets a fair win. I get a fair win. Yeah. And if you don't. then you should be back in. Wait, was I right other than my one letter that I added? Andy went out the previous round.

Yeah, but he was at this grade level. Correct. All right, let's see what Jason does. Here's what I'm going to do for the Spill Watch. Knock it out of the park. I'm going to nail this. All right, here's your eighth grade level word. And you know he'll take a win no matter what grade level I'm set at.

Vivacious. Say what? What? I love it. There ain't no trance. Wait. What was the word? Vivacious.

That's not a word. Vivacious? Sure. Say it a different way. Vivacious. Vivacious is how you say it. Oh, my gosh. Well, that's...

Get ready. Get back in my... People say it vivacious? Yeah. Vivacious. Yeah, that is how you say it. Oh, my gosh. Well, that's – get ready. Get back in, Mike. People say it. Vivacious? Yeah. Vivacious. Yeah, that's how I know it. That first one sounded like a the.

Okay. You going first shot? Let's do it. I'm going first shot. Let's do it. Vivacious. V-I-V-A-C-I-O-U-S. That's what I got.

That's how I do it. That's what I got. I'm the smartest man alive. Give it to him. That's what I got. I'm going to do it. That's what I got. I'm the smartest man alive! I'll give it to him. Hit the crowd, yep. Is this my first victory in How to Spell? It's got to be.

Oh, this is my favorite segment. I love this segment. It's so good. Do you want to do it every single time? No, I would rather quit the show. Spear wads I like to feel good I like to look good I like to smell good

But I don't want to think too hard about it And that's why I love our friends over at Hawthorne They are taking care of my hygiene needs They are a premium men's grooming brand That makes it quick and easy To confidently be your best With skin skincare and hair care that is made just for you. So lean on Hawthorne to upgrade your body wash, shampoo,

deodorant. Let them recommend a face cleanser and a moisturizer that elevates your game. And of course, find your perfect cologne. Look, you jump on a Hawthorne's website and you just take a quick quiz and you answer some questions and they personalize the products that you need for your particular skin care your hair needs. They got me a perfect eye cream. I use it every day. I love Hawthorne. I've told my wife, I'm a Hawthorne man.

This is why I'm looking good and this is why I'm smelling good. So make sure you're ready for anything and anyone that comes your way by taking Hawthorne's quiz today. Go to Hawthorne.co. Use the promo code SPITBALLERS to get 10% off your first purchase. That's H-A-W-T-H-O-R-N-E.C-O, promo code SPITBALLERS. Hawthorne.co, promo code SPITBALLERS. The Spitballers Draft.

All righty, we are drafting the best logos. The best logos. And I'm looking forward to this one. I have a logo that jumped out to me as the best, and I have the first pick. So that should be a good position. I don't think it's everybody's number one, but I think it should be,

and I'm going to try to persuade you into that. It's also interesting, when you say you're drafting the best logos, there are a lot of things that might qualify them as best in your mind. It might be iconic. It might be longevity. It might be the actual mark, the art. The design, the simplicity.

Could be the nostalgia, the feeling. To me, there is a clear 101. I agree. And it belongs here because its utilization is broader than some of the other picks. And it's more iconic than any of the other picks. And it is 100% McDonald's. Yeah, it's on my list. And it is 100% McDonald's. Yeah, it's on my list.

The McDonald's Golden Arches are the singular best logo in the history of the world. It is so good that you just put it on the end of a giant pole, and you see it from anywhere, and it represents something. And that's not what happens with almost any other logo out there. Yeah. And it's a singular mark. It's one color. It's one color. It's one shape.

To me, the McDonald's golden arches are the best logo ever created. I mean, you don't have to convince me to like McDonald's. So, yeah, I mean, this is not a... But that was not the 101. I understand. I know what the consensus number one might be for other people. I not know i just know what my let's hear it my mcdonald's is very high up for me as well but i'm also a brand snob for a particular brand of course and that's the gonna be the general is it really oh for sure yes okay well i will take the nike swoosh yeah the nike swoosh is what i think

a lot of people would answer. Absolutely. The Nike swoosh is the 101 to me. It's similar to the Golden Arches in its simplicity. You see people walking around, and it sends the same message. It says, my shoes are better than your shoes. Yeah, and you two are the ones that wear Nikes, right? You're literally drinking from a Nike cup right now. Hold on, hold on. Let me set this up.

You wear Nikes, right? Yes. And you can't walk on a treadmill for 10 minutes? He doesn't work out in Nikes, I bet. And you can't even... That is true. You don't? Not always. Okay. So I just... I don't know. You're trying to downplay

the logo here? Look, I wear Nikes. I just do. And I do it for the fashion purpose. I like them. Yes. But I think it's one of those things where the brand has amplified everything about. It's amazing because you see this with kids, right? Kids see Nikes or they see people wearing and they want them. And you do not evaluate the shoe whatsoever by how it feels.

You do not evaluate it whatsoever by whether this has given me the best support or helping me and maybe they do i mean i'm not saying they're i wear a lot of nikes they're very strange because look i am a i am a sneaker head i have i don't even 70 plus pairs of nikes of nike sb shoes and there are some that are like these are unbelievably comfortable yes and then i and they're all the same size. Right. And then I have some where I'm like, I only wear these because I like how they look. They are killing my pinky toe right now. If you got some sort of disease that made your feet grow a little bit more as an adult,

you'd be in trouble? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. All right. That's what I tell my son. Oh, he wants the nice shoes. But he is, no, like he's a full sneaker head like crazy

I don't know because I'm not I've not been that way he is obsessed with sneakers he has like an app where he's always looking at sneakers he's got a Nike is his go to he's got a savings right now

he's saving up for he has a sneaker head. And my biggest hesitation is a year from now, you can't. These are a decoration. You can't wear them if your feet grow. Yeah, you don't get to be a sneaker head until you've grown up. You're older or you're younger? Yeah, Jason's older.

Okay. Well, at least you can pass those down. Oh, good point. Good point. Thank you. Don't tell? Yeah, Jason's older. Okay. Well, at least you can pass those down. Oh, good point. Good point. Thank you. Don't tell him that. That's right. We'll just steal that.

All right, so I went McDonald's, Golden Arches, Mike, appropriately, the Nike swoosh. You should feel, I mean, I gave you your brand, man. We'll see if Jason takes what I thought you were going to take. Okay. Okay. Jason has a couple of picks. I have a couple. Two in a row.

I have two in a row. Honestly, I'm a little disappointed that these are my next two highest. This is my second and third, and I think I'm going to take them together. The problem that I have taking them at the same spot and the same turn is that they are so similar. Are you taking two cars?

I am taking two tech companies first is the apple logo that's what i thought andy would take apple is it's very iconic it's very iconic it's updated through the years but it stayed the same kind of you know one of those like sort of yeah yeah 20 years ago the apple logo you can still see it in the current version and did it have color back then uh the old one the ones ones had the rainbow. They've gone back and forth from color to no color. And I'm also an Apple snob, the way that you're a Nike snob. So that to me, it's classic.

The next one, I got to go with this. Really? Yeah. I mean, this might be surprising. This might be the first one where it's like, the logo sucks. You know what I mean? Like, the swoosh is cool. The golden arches are great. The apple's iconic and classy.

This one is uggs. So before you take your second pick of the best logos draft. Yeah. Your take, okay. Go on. It's super ugly.'s it's unbelievably iconic it's its own you you can make anything out of this logo it's the google logo which is google it's just the colored google word it's just a font it's just a font and a color scheme. And you could say Jason in that color scheme.

And you know it's Google. You know what it is. And when Google came out, man, we're old enough to remember all the different search engines when they came out. It was so different. And their logo, because it was just that. All the other searches were like a million different things. And even today, you go to Google and it's like, here's search that's it it says google as a search usually and so okay that

you got you got two tech companies yeah apple and google mike you are back on the clock okay with a number of choices out there i am i am torn between two uh and i was gonna follow the heart two. And I'm just going to follow the heart here because of... We laid out at the beginning there's so many different factors that you can go into. What makes a logo great to you personally? And a logo is art so it's very

opinion based. But this one is just... It's so simple. I love minimalistic art. It's so on the nose. GM. No, it's Target. Okay.

The Target. Target. It's just like, and I guess Target has become one of those stores. Probably my wife's fault, but it's like, well, what do you want to do? You want to go to target? Like, I don't know. You're like, okay, that's dark. You never know what you're, you never know what you're going to leave with. When you go to target, you're going to buy something. You definitely do not need. You'll buy probably a hundred dollars worth of stuff. And the one thing you went there to buy, but it's just, to me, it warms the soul of,

it's really American capitalism at its finest of me feeling good about going to Target because I'm going to spend money and fill the hole in my soul with goods that I don't need. All right, I like it. The Target logo is a good one. I'm excited about my next two picks. One of them is absolutely associated

with just a good feeling right you see it and it's just kind of it's got it's own that's the word I'm looking for there almost like an atmosphere a feeling to it and that's the Coca-Cola logo you see that and there's just something

they've really got you they have created yeah this whole india like an environment of this is this is good old-fashioned american you you feel safe you feel secure have you been to the coca-cola store in time square uh i'm sure i have it's huge i mean they have just a million things. Coca-Cola themed, the bears and everything. I think they also have one in Las Vegas. But it's a wonderful script, custom logo font. And they cheat.

I'll tell you why they cheat. Because- They got the red circle. Because they essentially created Santa Claus. Right. And they have done such a good job of branding Santa with a Coca-Cola. That's what you feel. In the back of my head, I don't think about it until now,

but it's like, yeah, Christmas is also related to Coca-Cola, and Christmas is the best time of the year. So they have done it. They do the commercials with the polar bears popping the Coca-Colas. Those people, those Rapscallcallions they've done a really good job it's a very warm feeling they cheat because their logo like it's it just has like the coca-cola in it it's like it's like a picture of their product almost i mean if if you know some of the logos yeah it's a it's a font yeah but also andy if may, your logos are delicious. Yes.

McDonald's and Coca-Cola. Because you've got the yellow and the red. I've also, I've gone to people's houses where they love, like the Coca-Cola brand is so powerful that they'll just like decorate their bathroom with Coca-Cola stuff. I have a Coca-Cola art piece in my little TV room. All right. I'm going to go a little off the beaten path maybe. I don't know. Maybe you guys will. Oh, no. You're going to take take what i wanted i don't know if i am or not i think that the mbc logo it's on my list is outstanding the peacock would have taken a colorful uh feather i

guess they're technically like a peacock feathers right but it's colorful it's no words right it's just the mark and that mark means you know and now you associate you associate the sound with it but i like the color and i like how simple it is it fits in a little box as an art guy i like how that shape works and of all the you know there's there's like different genres like sodas or cars or TV stations. NBC's is by far the best. I mean, you know, they've launched Peacock as a whole streaming service based on that logo. And it is gorgeous. It's a good logo.

It was first used in 1956. But that was not the off the beaten path one I thought you were going to steal from. Do you realize why they debuted that in 1956? I do not. It's interesting. It's because they were debuting and highlighting the network color programming because they were finally having color TV. Oh, that's interesting.

So it's like, hey, let's show that we have colorful TV. Let's add the Peacock logo. I'm trying to think through the big networks. Yeah, CBS. CBS has a logo, but ABC and Fox are like boring. ABC has a logo. It's the circle with the letters in it. Well, it's not very good, CBS. CBS has a logo, but ABC and Fox are like boring. ABC has a logo. It's the circle with the letters in it. Well, it's not very good, apparently.

And NBC's had the Olympics for so long, so you associate the logo with that. All right. The other one. The other logo that I was thinking about, And this is similar to like Coca-Cola, where now when you see it, the endorphins start running because every single morning. Andy, the first thing that we do when we get out of bed is we have ourselves a cup of Joe and coffee is now synonymous with Starbucks. So I will take the little mermaid lady. I hate their logo. You do?

It's super pop I mean you see it and you know what it is but then and that's more what I it's not necessarily my favorite art style because I said I like simple I like target the swoosh but when I see the Starbucks logo the it's it's those those endorphins start firing that's how they they get you all. You're like, oh, I could get a mocha. Yeah. All right. This draft were. Caffeine and some sugar.

Were specific to iconic. Then that is a home run pick. Best is a little bit more subjective. And I don't actually like the logo. It's so busy with that. It is a very busy logo. Green lady. But you do know it instantly. Oh, absolutely.

So they did a good job there. Yeah. Two picks for you. All right. Here is the off the beaten path. I love this one. Totally off the beaten path because it's not even real. But it's certainly a logo. It's not real.

It's one of the best logos ever made. It's the Jurassic Park logo. Dude, it's real. I mean, it's a real logo for, you know you know in a movie it i mean it's a shield yeah i mean if you i never would have thought of that in a million years honestly i was looking up best logos and when i saw that i was like oh that logo means something it does like i see that and i'm like i'm a kid watching a movie about dinosaurs yeah there you go uh very interesting i i thought for sure

andy when he was going off the beaten path and he's like mr jurassic park yeah i mean i was staying in the lane of the brand logos yeah if the draft was best brand logos which i think it was for me and mike yeah to be fair at this point jurassic park is a brand that is true you could buy dress i mean we have Jurassic Park logo. There's the logo right there on our set. With the new one coming out, is that... Oh, I'm not contending it doesn't exist. Is that six movies we're up to?

Too many. Yeah. And too few. That is true. That is really true. Too many. Also, I would love them to keep... Jurassic Universe.

I feel like that was just so outside the framework. But I don't mind it but I don't mind it I don't mind it yeah I uh I I accept my pick um the last one is going to be similar not in the is fake but it's in the same genre Jurassic World of entertainment and movies but the Pixar logo okay okay so I love the lamp the animation you know what i mean like this is the only logo that i can think of of all of our pics where it's like when you view that logo you know the sound you know that absolutely you know the animation yeah you get and then it just finishes at that logo i love the pixar logo it's simple interesting it's classic it's

got character and it means something to me so that to me is one of the best logos mike's very that's not even remotely on my radar and i don't mind that all right so for my last one i'm again torn this is my last pick right yes okay uh torn between two of them and them, and I'm being pulled towards one. Oh, Jason's cackling over here. I'm cackling at Owl's message of which logo. Okay, I'm not going to look at it yet. And maybe this warms my heart because my father would bring me here all the time

because we would get Slurpees. But 7-Eleven. Oh, interesting. It's so – somehow it is so simple, and it's a weird mixture of colors. That's a good logo. But when you see those colors together of, like, the red, the green, and the orange, like, oh, yeah, that's 7-Eleven. Nobody else is going to do that except for 7-11.

And with the number and then the word written through it. Yeah, that's pretty iconic. I don't know. I like seeing a 7-11. You're like, what? I feel like I don't see 7-11s anymore. You don't see them as much anymore. I can't think of a 7-11.

You can't? I cannot think of where one. Check the Shady Motel. Could you guys right now name where a 7-Eleven. You can't? I cannot think of where one. It's a check the shady motel. Could you guys right now name where a 7-Eleven is? No. Deer Valley 30. I was talking to the hosts on the show. Yeah, please be quiet.

What about Deer Valley 30? Okay. Yeah, you got one. You got one. Okay. Good call, Mike. All right. Yeah, that's a good one.

That's iconic. And like when you were a kid, you would ride your bike to the 7-Eleven. Yeah, that's great. Get a soda pop. That's true. Final pick. So for my final pick, there's so many logos out there, a bunch that I like. Maybe we'll mention a few afterwards.

But I'm actually going to go with the NBA logo. Oh, the West. with Jerry West on it. Yeah, it's the best of all of the professional sports logos. You are correct. And as much as we're NFL guys with fantasy football, the NBA logo has the iconic, you know, Jerry West built into it, the players on it. You know, the NBA, the NFL shield is just a shield.

Right. You don't have anybody playing. And, like, when people want to make a new logo for, like, a sport, they imitate the basketball one. Like, if you put a video game controller, have it silhouetted out, and then it's in red and blue. Yeah, the silhouette is pretty solid. You instantly know, oh, this is a sport, and you can fill in whatever you want there.

All right. So that does it. Jason with Apple, Google, Jurassic Park, and Pixar. Mike with Nike, Target, Starbucks, and 7-Eleven, and I've got McDonald's, Coca-Cola, NBC, and NBA. Now give me one that you didn't draft, but you just kind of like. A free agent. Yeah.

Free agent pickup off the wire. I would go with the FedEx logo. It's a good logo. And the reason I go with that is because of the hidden arrow in it. I always, once I saw that. Colors are good too. Yeah. It's a fine logo.

But once I was pointed out that they purposely put an arrow in that logo in the negative space, you can't ever unsee it. Mike? The other one i was torn between because i think it's the coolest car logo is volkswagen okay you like the vw yeah and uh brooks throwing out the mtv logo that's on my list as well um i'll throw out the mercedes logo oh yeah with the what that's the tri right yeah it almost looks like a piece i'll throw out one from childhood the hot wheels logo with the orange and the flames coming out of the car and the old Hot Wheels.

Yeah. I thought of a Visa, too. It's just so classic. Yeah, it's everywhere you want to be. Yeah. What did we learn today? Oh, I know what I learned. I know what I learned.

It's apparently persevere. Yeah. And I learned that you don't have a chest plate. You have ribs that come together, uh, in your skillet. And I learned that I am beatable at highway to spell as long as you handicap me. Congratulations, Jason. Thanks. You must feel good about yourself.

I do. You know, he's a good logo on your shirt there too. The, uh, fancy footballers, uh, inspired's a good logo on your shirt there, too. Oh, man. The Fantasy Footballers-inspired logo. We'll see you next time, everybody. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com.