Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 193: Tuba Talks & The Best Movie Themes Pt. II - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: May 2, 2022

We are back with part two of the ‘best movie themes’ draft. We also talk about tuba players, assuming everyone is hitting on us, and never being looked at by anyone again. And for the first time i...n a while, we are dishing out some much needed life advice. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode of the podcast is brought to you by our friends at Peloton. One of my favorite things about doing these shows and these reads is when there's a company that I was already in on before they even got a read on the show. And Peloton is one of those things. I had my bike plus way before they started sponsoring this show, and I was already in love with the product. I love riding. I love how I feel. My fitness levels are at a new place, and it's all because of Peloton. They have a team of world-class instructors.
Starting point is 00:00:36 They're ready to motivate you 24-7. We're talking about thousands of live and on-demand classes. In their app, they've got cycling. If you want to get on the Bike Plus, you can ride. They've got strength, yoga. They've got all sorts of different classes, and it's always a great time. Their instructors are truly a difference maker in all of the family over there at Peloton.
Starting point is 00:00:59 And right now, it's the perfect time to try out Peloton. The Peloton Bike Plus is now $500 less. It's the best price yet, including free delivery and setup. And there are more game-changing prices available on the original Peloton Bike and Peloton Tread. Visit OnePeloton.com to learn more. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve?
Starting point is 00:01:32 It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Are y'all getting my gut belly fused like gunk? Oh, that's great. That was outstanding. It was autobiographical. It was. Just wanted to scat the people. Are we bringing this out then?
Starting point is 00:01:56 I guess so. I guess so, says the man who brought it up. Look, when your mind is on something and you're told to scat immediately, you don't have many choices. You just go. Just go is going to be a problem. Spitballers podcast episode 193. Welcome in.
Starting point is 00:02:17 Sometimes you just know a show is going to happen. Other times you're not sure it is going to happen. Today's the latter because Jason is, he ate something that is not agreeing with him. He's not agreeing and I'm in a lot of pain. I'm here for you spit. I'm pushing through the pain. Oh, push it. No, no, no. I'm holding through the pain.
Starting point is 00:02:36 I'm holding strong for you. So be there for me. Would you rather life advice in our second movie theme draft. So part two of the best movie themes. Very excited about that. The first part was incredible.
Starting point is 00:02:54 My team, of course. And to be fair, all three teams were very strong. They really, really were. It was funny. On last episode, I said, oh, Mike, your team's going to win. And then I went and I looked at my team and I was like, wait, my team is awesome. No, you were right. My team is going to win, but your team was awesome.
Starting point is 00:03:11 And then I looked at them and I was like, those are awesome. This is where we're in the nitty gritty. Yeah, I got some dark horses. Okay. Well, we'll get there soon. Spitballerspod.com. If you want to support the show, we appreciate you over there. Instagram.com.
Starting point is 00:03:26 Slash Spitballerspod. Always appreciate your reviews. Click the plus over on Apple Podcasts. If that's where you're listening, subscribe over on Spotify. And tell your friends about the show. If you want your friends to be happier, then one of the top ways you can do that is just tell them about a free comedy podcast called The Spitballers. Well, and I want you to remember we are your friends and if you want us to be happier then you tell your other friends about double double happy two for one special all right let's get it going
Starting point is 00:03:53 would you rather nick from the website would you rather start every conversation you have by loudly and sternly proclaiming i am a married man or end every conversation by making eye contact and saying thank you for making me seem so smart oh my gosh this is very specific they're so the i am a married, you have to declare it at the beginning. Yes. You start the conversation with I am a married man very loudly. Now, I am a married man. Yes.
Starting point is 00:04:36 But this question, you know, sometimes it would make no sense. Like right there. Well, I mean, you're really insinuating the person you're talking to has ulterior motives. What? Yeah, no, we got there. We got there. And it's a really insulting thing to no matter who you are talking to, to proclaim loudly that i am spoken for i have no interest in you uh it could be very awkward in certain situations especially it's awkward in every single
Starting point is 00:05:15 circumstance i think it's less insulting than the other one the other one saying when you when you finished right thanking you uh thank you for making me seem so smart but at least the conversation's done okay and you can walk away and then never talk to that person again i would intentionally forget my wedding ring in the first scenario that way i have an excuse for saying what i'm saying and then i say i've i would follow it up with you i lost it i lost i lost the ring i like at least there, there's a little bit of a compliment to it. You know what I mean? It's a compliment to yourself.
Starting point is 00:05:51 Yeah, how is that a compliment for them? It is not to the person you are talking to. Under any circumstance? Under any circumstance. Because what you are saying is, I am so incredibly appealing and attractive that I know what you're thinking, and I'm going to cut you off right there. But what if you end that phrase with a wink? I am a married man.
Starting point is 00:06:16 The wink is like the grossest move in the world. The wink is the worst of all gestures. Is there any way you could save this by always wearing a tuxedo? Right? Because then maybe you just came from a wedding. If I just came from a wedding, I'd have a right to say that. That's a declaration of joy. I have a right to say that.
Starting point is 00:06:36 I am a married man. Right. Okay. Well, that's a proclamation. Yeah. But it is not. Or a just married t-shirt. I'm just trying to save this. Oh, it does say, yeah. The question says, sternly proclaimclamation. Yeah. But it is not. Or a just married t-shirt. I'm just trying to save this.
Starting point is 00:06:46 Oh, it does say, yeah. The question says, sternly proclaiming I am a married man. Which is the proclamation. Right. Okay. Maybe. Maybe that's. So in one of these, you have to wear a tux at all times.
Starting point is 00:06:57 Very fancy. Now, ironically, a tux could help the next, you know, the other one too. Like, thank you for making me seem so smart. No one looks dumber in a tuxedo right i've i'm not tracking here i've lost where you're going if i were wearing a tuxedo yeah and i look just so fancy i am i am top notch looking good and at the end i'm like thank you for making me seem so smart just it goes it plays in the okay okay yeah you can kind you can kind of get away with it i i see that but now i'm just imagining andy on like the pickleball courts but he has to wear his tuxedo because he has committed
Starting point is 00:07:42 to the bit of every conversation he had. No, see, on the pickleball courts, saying that I'm a married man would be important because maybe I have a random doubles partner. And they may end up wanting to, you know, I'm very desirable, especially on the courts. So we know what Andy's picking. Andy knows his desire level is so high that he must proclaim. Who's to say any random doubles partner wouldn't want to marry me
Starting point is 00:08:05 I'd want to marry me out there yeah I'm fine the truth is that thank you for making me seem so smart can be lovingly jokingly sad you can hit him with the wink after that one oh the wink after that saves it
Starting point is 00:08:23 there's really no getting away with, I'm a married man. Right. You say that to someone, and I think I've got to go with, thank you for making me seem so smart. Bing. Brandon from Patreon, would you rather have everyone around you, that would be your family, the strangers, whoever, always be looking at you,
Starting point is 00:08:42 or for no one to ever look in your direction again so you are invisible in the world if no one ever looks at you you will feel this is like a twilight zone to me yeah like a twilight zone where you are not you're not physically technically invisible but if no one ever looks at you do you exist are you visible help me oh the the always looking at you both of these are bad but i get it so would you rather the always looking at you is a catastrophic nightmare of everyone always looking at you do you know who experiences that right now i do not i do I do. Not I do. That wasn't me saying that I experience that. It's the Truman Show again. I am a married man.
Starting point is 00:09:31 There's Mr. Truman Show. I wasn't saying that I do experience that, but I do know who experiences that. Do you care to answer? My answer is probably different than yours, but I would say middle schoolers. Oh, okay. Because they truly think every place they walk in, they think everyone is watching them. But there is a sect of people that actually have this happen to them, and that is the major celebrity. Sure.
Starting point is 00:10:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because the paparazzi follows you everywhere. You are being watched. I literally just read an article about a celebrity. I won't say the name. But they were so... What does it rhyme with? I'm not going to rhyme it.
Starting point is 00:10:12 But they were so devastated because like... Schmustin Schmieber. No, it wasn't Schmustin Schmieber. What are the initials? This is why they follow these people. But they literally said they went to the beach and they had to suck in their stomach the whole time because they were so afraid of being perceived a certain shape
Starting point is 00:10:33 or a certain size because their eyes are on you all the time. Would you be so self-conscious? Every action, I would never get to pick a booger. I mean, you're just completely. I have not gone to the beach and not sucked in my stomach in years. All the time? Yes, 100% of the time I'm on a beach, I'm sucking in my stomach. Do you really think you're saving much there?
Starting point is 00:10:59 I definitely know it's happening, regardless of whether paparazzi are following me or not. It's my own shame. I don't need it in the papers to already- In the papers? How exhausted is your core when you leave the beach? Oh, I've got a lot of practice. How do you not have a six-pack? Oh, I've got a six-pack under there.
Starting point is 00:11:23 I mean, it's there. My six-pack is growing stronger and stronger, pushing my got a six pack under there. Okay. I mean, it's there. It just keeps. My six pack is growing stronger and stronger, pushing my belly out. I got you. I understand. Oh, my gosh. Big guy problems. People staring at you all the time would be just the worst.
Starting point is 00:11:37 It would be so much better than the alternative. I'm telling you. No, no, no, no, no. Mike, I know reading this question that this seems like it's such a home run answer for you that your preference would be, hey, I would love to have no one watch me at all times. That would be great. But I genuinely think if you play that out in reality where no one ever looks towards you again in the rest of your life, I think that that would be a true nightmare of depression. It sounds great at first glance. No no i don't think it sounds great but your kids and your wife would be problem numbers yeah number one i get that but in list any activity going to a restaurant can you imagine
Starting point is 00:12:17 everybody looking a hundred people staring at you while you eat. You just don't do it. Yeah. Is that a... No, that was not a shaming joke. Jason wants the first one. Well, yes. Oh, gosh. That level of fame sounds awful. Awesome. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:40 Awful. That's totally agreed. I will have to take the staring at me. I will have to use it to my advantage. That will be a lot of influence that I'll have on the world if I have them. And obviously, that will be the motivator to get in good shape. Sure. When everyone's looking at me, I guarantee that'll be the thing that really gets it going.
Starting point is 00:13:00 Enjoy the gym while everyone is watching every single workout you do. Private workouts. Yeah. That's what I mean. If everyone is staring at you, I'm telling you, you will end up. Okay. You will go full. Neither is our official answer.
Starting point is 00:13:14 What's the Howard Hughes? Oh, yeah. I went crazy. Yeah. You'll start growing your nails out, peeing in bottles. Another DiCaprio movie that's way too long. You just brought a conversation from off the podcast into
Starting point is 00:13:27 the podcast. As a reference. Remember that? Remember that, people? Remember when we were talking about The Revenant being too long? Oh, you don't remember because it wasn't on the podcast? It was during lunch over here. I thought everybody stared at me. Look, everybody knows that DiCaprio movies are too long
Starting point is 00:13:43 anyway. He likes to do long movies. I love them. Long, great movies. I love them, Leo. Yeah, he's good. All right, we'll move on. Daniel from Patreon, would you rather be the world's best tuba player in the world's best orchestra
Starting point is 00:13:58 or an average lead guitarist in a band that's successful but never makes it big? I'm confused by the successful but never makes it big i'm confused by the successful but never makes it big because oh what you tour and you make a living but you don't make it big you're touring that exists oh 1000 most bands probably yes that is that's the life of if you are a true professional musician or in a band that's more than likely your life. You're playing, like you can book a tour throughout the U.S. and you're playing venues that hold like 100 people, 100 to 150 people, which is like when you're in them, I mean, that's. Feels good.
Starting point is 00:14:37 Yeah, it feels great. I'd love to rock a stadium, but it's not the worst thing, but also you are your average. You're not great. I'm taking the tube i mean i look i like really i like playing the guitar and that would be very nice but if i'm known as the world's i'm but you're not known right because you're the world you're you're known in tuba circles no all the tuba circles no no no that's mr holloway now what do you do for a living i'm in the world's best orchestra end of sentence you don't need to know what if you're in the world's best orchestra you would never say that i'm in the world's best what is if they ask me
Starting point is 00:15:13 what's the world's best orchestra oh good question well there's humphries uh school of wizarding and witchcraft that's my point is your your notoriety level is nothing what you don't think that if you look your circle if you're in this it's got to be a bunch of people that respect that right yes it's a yes other circle other tuba players that's what i said in the tuba circles he's huge no i would definitely take the guitar and and so here's the funny thing on the back of this question from Daniel from Patreon is like. Everybody wants some eyes on them or most people want some eyes on them, but you don't want to be like this crazy, like truly being the the world's biggest celebrity. That is a nightmare that we can't comprehend, which is why so many of these people end up going insane because they just can't live any semblance of a normal life. But if you can sell out 100 to 200 person place all across the country, you're that's a pretty sweet gig. You're you're popular. You're beloved in much larger than tuba circles. And here's the
Starting point is 00:16:19 thing. If you out there listening are an average guitar player, to me, you're an incredible musician. You are awesome. You know what I mean? You're like, hey, play a song, and they can play you a song. Whoa! That's incredible. Like, Andy, I think you're a great musician. I don't know if you know that.
Starting point is 00:16:39 Because you can play a few songs on a guitar. I don't know how you feel about you. Better now. Right? I mean, that's all it takes to impress me as a musical guy. Can you play an instrument? Hey, tuba player, what's your favorite tuba part? And he goes.
Starting point is 00:16:56 No, impress me. Impress me. Play your best stuff. I'm playing it. So neither of you are taking the tuba. No. No way. That makes sense because I aspire to absolute greatness. Being the best at something isn't something in your potential.
Starting point is 00:17:14 I think genuinely your path towards that is actually in playing a tuba. I think that's the easiest path forward. Yeah, I have great news for you, Andy. The competition's low? Is that what you're saying? Have you ever played a brass instrument? I did play an alto sax for two weeks. That's a woodwind.
Starting point is 00:17:32 Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Ah, music! That's a reed instrument. Which is great news. That means you've never had to play a trumpet or anything like that? No. You could pick it up today, and you could finish your life still as the best tuba player of all time. That means you've never had to play like a trumpet or anything like that. No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:17:49 You could pick it up today, and you could finish your life still as the best tuba player of all time. The gap is not that far. It probably really is. I'm sure there are tuba players out there. Is there a musical bias coming from the two, Al Borland and the hitman here? Do you guys have something against these instruments? No, you need the tuba. You just don't want to be the tuba. It's not a solo instrument.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Look, tuba players out there, they're getting real flustered and real mad, but here's the thing. Both of them. Here's the thing. Here's the deal. You got moved to the tuba because you were like eighth chair trumpet. Oh, no. And they said, we really need – you need to have a tuba player.
Starting point is 00:18:31 You could be our best tuba player. And so they move over. And they were because they were the only tuba player. So nobody starts as tuba. They only end up in tuba. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you start your kid right now at tuba, he will become the best tuba player in the world.
Starting point is 00:18:45 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Right, yeah. All right. Well, I've learned a lot. Do we want to move on, Al, or do you want to go one more? Do we have any more tuba questions? Let's do one more. A tuba question?
Starting point is 00:18:59 Fiona from the website, non-tuba. Would you rather gain the ability to speak five different languages or be able to understand five different languages? Oh, speak them. Wait. No, hold on. Hold on. As soon as you start to answer, there's a big problem with both.
Starting point is 00:19:13 How can you possibly speak a language if you don't understand it? You could say words, but you can't string together a coherent sentence. Well, let's say you had the ability to think in english and speak in five different languages so when you speak and you make the sound you just comprehend it you're you're i think that could happen i mean in a mystical world and then but you're breaking it down but understanding five different languages means that you cannot communicate back that's the question do you want to be able to communicate out to five different language groups or get communication in from which is more valuable, right? Yeah, that's the crux of the question. You can't have one without the other.
Starting point is 00:19:51 No, I get it. I get it. In reality, you cannot do this one without the other. But I understand the question is what Andy's saying, which is. You walk into France. You want to understand people talking to you, or do you want them to understand you talking to them, which is what you walk into france you want to understand people talking to you or do you want them to understand understand you talking to them which is more valuable but if they understand what i'm saying to them mike can't handle this no i cannot because if i if they can understand me
Starting point is 00:20:15 that means that i can okay i can communicate in that language which means i would understand it when it comes back i've got a different way to word this you have please help me you have an electronic device that can translate one direction. Okay. So when you're talking, it can either translate what you're speaking into their language so they can understand you. But you won't be able to necessarily understand what they say
Starting point is 00:20:36 back or vice versa. They have it and they've got the electronic device. Well done, Jason. You really communicated that well. Did Mike understand it? I got it. So both directions. We had to that well. Did Mike understand it? Oh, I got it. We just had to completely change the question to make it work. But what would be more valuable? Like if I'm going to travel, which I mean,
Starting point is 00:20:54 if you understand languages one direction or the other, traveling seems like what you're doing to bring value to that skill other than showing it off at parties. So at parties, So, which I, I, at parties, being able to speak, it is the one that you want because then you can show it off.
Starting point is 00:21:10 But what's more value. Isn't it more valuable if you're going to a place that you don't understand anything anyways, to be told stuff than you telling them. Yes. I think I want to understand the language. I want to be able to understand it. I want to be able to understand if I am in, it's just me,
Starting point is 00:21:28 and then there's a couple people speaking a different language. I want to keep taps. Yeah, don't talk about me. Don't be talking that garbage in French about me. Oh, that's a nice little extra feature of being able to hear the languages. I also think there's a problem. If you could speak the language but not understand it, you'd really come across as a jerk
Starting point is 00:21:48 because you'd be speaking this language and they would answer you and you'd be like, I don't know what you're saying. I would like that baguette. And then they're trying to tell you we don't have any more baguettes. You just keep repeating yourself over and over. There's obviously going to be a gap here
Starting point is 00:22:03 where there's a problem. One party does not understand the other. It's going to hand motions at that point. Well, that's what I was going to say. Is it easier to try to explain something with hand motions or if you could talk to someone to comprehend what they're saying back to you? I think it's easier your direction outward. But, I mean, thumbs up, thumbs down.
Starting point is 00:22:27 I understand. Oh, yeah. You don't need to communicate outward. Yeah. So you want to be the charade-er. Yes. Der. The charader.
Starting point is 00:22:34 Yeah. All right. I agree. The charader? So we're going to understand five languages. That's what I'm doing. Not as cool at parties. Right.
Starting point is 00:22:41 But good for traveling. Say something. Say something in another language. Watch me. All right, let's move on. I understood that. All right, Spitwads, I want to tell you about Thuma. Look, your bedroom, it deserves a refresh.
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Starting point is 00:23:39 And now you can go to thuma.co slash ballers and use the code ballers to receive a $25 credit towards your purchase of the bed plus free shipping in the continental U.S. That's T-H-U-M-A dot C-O slash ballers and enter ballers at checkout for a $25 credit. Thuma.co slash ballers and enter the code ballers. Spitballers to the rescue. Jordan from Twitter. My wife constantly wants to rearrange the house. We just got done rearranging it a month ago. How do I get out of having to move all the furniture once again?
Starting point is 00:24:25 I don't know if you gentlemen have someone in your life that is like this, but I do. Okay. Now, fortunately for me, it's not my wife. But I get to watch my father suffer with this. Oh, no. Because my mom, and maybe not suffer might be overstating it, but endure it. My mom loves to rearrange and to repaint.
Starting point is 00:24:45 Okay, that's a different level. My mom loves to rearrange and to repaint. Oh, okay. That's a different level. My mom lives her life looking for a justifiable reason to repaint a room. So if you get a new chair, we should probably repaint the room. Okay. You got a new mat for your chair, we got to repaint the room. No. And she loves it.
Starting point is 00:25:00 But it's clear. And she loves it. Here's a huge point of clarity. Because I deal with some of this as well. But when she says, okay, we got this new chair. We need to repaint the room. Does she, A, repaint the room? B, look to hire someone to repaint the room? Or C, say, we should repaint the room.
Starting point is 00:25:22 Now you do it, dad. Combo of A and C. Correct. Combo of A and C. Correct. Combo of A and C. Because she can't move all the furniture. So you're baking it in where he's got to help with the furniture. Now the best part of this is, at one point in the past, she had painted the room she now dislikes. Right?
Starting point is 00:25:42 Right. Because it was her design to begin with. So now it is not good then it was very good yeah but times times have been flow i mean there's things i liked in the past that i wouldn't want now and yeah i remember a day back in the early 2000s where we had these we put up these really nice like regal curtains and they were great for the time now i'm like it would look so stupid now this was cool as a kid because I got my room all redone all the time. And it was neat.
Starting point is 00:26:08 That sounds fun. It was fun as a kid. Oh, well, let's put the bed here. Let's put the desk there. Let's paint it blue. Let's put up whatever. The main piece of advice that I have for Jordan here is furniture pads. Oh, so you can slide?
Starting point is 00:26:21 Oh, the sliders. So you can slide them. You just never take them off of the furniture pads. So you can slide them. You just never take them off of the furniture patch. You don't buy the, you just leave them. You got the couch and you get little feet underneath your four corners of the couch. And then whenever she wants to rearrange. Much easier. You just got to get rid of carpet.
Starting point is 00:26:38 I mean, is there. You got to slide around all your hardwood floor. So I'm trying to think through it for our guy Jordan here. hardwood floor so i'm trying to think through it for for our guy jordan here in your house think of your house right now of stuff that you can actually move okay like because i mean there's gonna be like your television and whatever wall unit or thing like that has to be on that wall that you can't really usually speaking you can't really move that is there a piece of furniture in your house that is just you you look at it and you go, I will never, ever move that again.
Starting point is 00:27:08 My bad. Okay, so we both have one, and I probably have like four. Your piano's, what is it a? It's heavy, man. So like a half where it's up against the wall? Yeah. Okay, so not on wheels? I mean, technically the front two corners are on wheels, but they're useless wheels.
Starting point is 00:27:25 I mean... I have one of those. Those piano wheels are for show. They are not. I have, like, mats underneath them. Those legs will snap before the wheels roll. I don't know how they designed them that way. Why do they even pretend to put wheels on these things?
Starting point is 00:27:40 They don't work. So that's mine, and you said your bed, because you have a bed that's, like, over 100 million pounds or something? I have the heaviest bed in the world yes i don't like your bed frame well so i've got the bed frame that like does the lift and the you know it's so it's got that and then the frame around it and there's just so many pieces to it i don't want to ever deal with that rearranging that is a it's a that's an evil thing my parents had me help them move so many times that all their furniture 100 100 oak it was the good old days oh credenzas for days credenzas that i don't even know what you use these like 12
Starting point is 00:28:20 foot long things with a single door on the front. But I know you can't move it. It was at least two tons. Yeah, that's a problem. Yeah, so Jordan, buy from Ikea. That's step one. Yes, there you go. You can move that with one arm. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:36 Like fully built. Really a strong breath. Right. Step two is have kids. Okay. Why is it? Oh, because they'll move stuff with her instead of you. You can get your kids to help move stuff?
Starting point is 00:28:49 Sure, at a certain age. I mean, it's just like growing them to help you with the farm work. I mean, why do you think people had kids? I mean, if you have a boy, you just challenge the masculinity. Yeah, it's a hot tip, but you can't lift that. But otherwise, it's a hot hot tip but you can't lift that but otherwise it's a fake chronic back problem oh although that like if you're a golfer or anything like that it's gonna be a problem you all need an acupuncturist the web of lies is gonna have to grow
Starting point is 00:29:20 my back is acting up again haven't you seen me wear that brace? No, I haven't. Would it help him to move to Manhattan? How many times can you rearrange a little flat? Smaller place is better, probably. Smaller place, you just got a few things. Even if she wants to rearrange every couple days. What if you end up in a walk-up, and then there's this new piece of furniture
Starting point is 00:29:39 that you got to bring that thing up for flights? It's a challenge. Divorce. All right, Elizabeth from Patreon. My husband and I would like your official ruling that thing up four flights it's a challenge divorce all right elizabeth from patreon my husband and i would like your official ruling on robot vacuums yep oh are they worth having are they a sufficient replacement for regular vacuuming or are they a complete waste of money that requires more time to fix and coach than just vacuuming the house in the first place i want i won't say who's on what side
Starting point is 00:30:05 but i will say he doesn't do any of the cleaning i gotta i gotta tap out oh i've never robo i've lived that life i have lived that life as well i've got a clear and obvious correct answer i think we both hate them i love the theory yes they are the worst they're not are they they don't do no they don't do crap. They have this little bin. They get in the way. They have a little bin. Here's what's going to happen when you get a robot vacuum, okay? You're going to set it up.
Starting point is 00:30:32 Maybe even you go through all the, like, I'm going to set the boundaries so it knows exactly where to go in my house and do all this. Then you're going to go to bed. You're going to set it to run while you're asleep. When you wake up and you look at the charger where it's supposed to be, it ain't there. It's stuck somewhere. Yeah. It has done nothing.
Starting point is 00:30:44 up and you look at the charger where it's supposed to be it ain't there it's stuck somewhere yeah it has done nothing but yet while your whole floor is dirty the bin is completely full of junk it can't pick up anything else this thing breaks all the time doesn't vacuum in the right spots and you can even take it like let's say you spilled a bunch of frosted flakes in a specific area there's a mode where you could go put it on top and you hit the spot clean. It doesn't ever go in the right spot ever. So then you're going to end up getting your vacuum out and going and vacuuming over the spots that you missed. I mean, Jason summed it up very well. I would say that most of the time what I did with my robot vacuum,
Starting point is 00:31:20 and I've had a couple of them, stupidly, was try to declog it or try to cut whatever strands of something that would stop it from spinning there's always strings apparently in everybody's house that just we've all got so many strings that we didn't know about but no i don't think the technology this is like tesla 10 years before it was worth driving. We need the technology to go up, up, up. It is a brilliant idea. Just have the house vacuumed every night while I sleep, but it doesn't work.
Starting point is 00:31:57 Have you seen some of the new? They've got new ones that have mopping and vacuuming together with bins, with cleaning. Oh, you've bought that. Yeah, I bought that. So you keep falling into the trap. Oh, and I will again because one day, Mike, one day they're going to get it right. Word on the, I'm getting this in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:15 Those strings are called hair. No, no, no, no, no. Literally, I'm telling you, I've had robot vacuums I think five different times in my life because I keep falling for the trap. I'm telling you, I've had robot vacuums, I think, five different times in my life because I keep falling for the trap. When you let it run for a week and then you go to try to clean that brush, there are literal strings. I don't know what the strings are from.
Starting point is 00:32:35 There's just strings everywhere. Apparently, in my house, we have a lot of strings. Your wife is a seamstress, is she not? That does. It's not thread, though. I don't even know how to explain it. Magic strings. Is this a bad time to the spider webs to bring up that this show brought to you by Roomba?
Starting point is 00:32:52 I wish that they were better. That technology is great. But we're not there yet, Mike. I'm sorry. Well, I'm glad because I've I've never gone in. One more here. J.E. Brill from Twitter. I am trying to decide between two similar jobs,
Starting point is 00:33:06 same role, same pay. Oh, this is some real life advice, but one, that's the name of the segment, man. I know,
Starting point is 00:33:14 but it means I'm ring truer. Uh, one is the, for a startup. The other is for a very large and established company. Which should you choose? And why? Oh man, I got my answer i'll wait i'll
Starting point is 00:33:27 wait to hear your guys well okay stage of life now i feel like i'm giving real advice yeah which is not as fun i'll just say this there is no such thing as security now that doesn't mean that a large and established company doesn't offer you benefits that are different than a startup because there are some benefits there like the large and established means that like you probably have really good insurance and you probably have very structured vacations and bonuses and or you know some of those things might exist there but don't pretend that it's secure you grew i grew up thinking that big companies were super secure and people worked there for 20 30 years get your retirement and you're done all i've done my entire life used to be that it did used to be that but now it's more like you're part of a big company so you
Starting point is 00:34:15 think that but then they lay you off because they can move work overseas and then you uh can't find another job so i think that unless if you're doing it for security, it's a bad decision to go with the large company. And if you're doing it for fun, it's still a bad decision because big companies have red tape and boring procedures.
Starting point is 00:34:33 Go with a startup, play ping pong half your day. But no ghost money. Right, yeah, yeah. Make sure you're actually paid. Paid real money. Paid real money. And then you have
Starting point is 00:34:42 a company to grow with. You know what I mean? Maybe someday it'll be the very large and established company and you were there at the ground floor. And you can quit and go to the other company. That's right. You're always able to exit and just go next door. That was going to be my advice is if you are qualified currently for the very large established
Starting point is 00:34:58 company, you're likely qualified for that company yet again if the startup fails in two years. That's a good point, too. So bet on yourself, Mr. Brill. Play some ping pong. Start up. All right. Is that the requirement? Is that what separates a large company from a startup?
Starting point is 00:35:21 Is just a ping pong table? A large and well-established company will never have company ping pong. Unfortunately. If it has company ping pong, then you know it is. There's still a startup? It's still a startup, no matter the size. And then once they come in and they pack it up, you know they've made the transition. They're curmudgeon now.
Starting point is 00:35:37 Now, a little bit of a question here. Yeah. We used to have a ping pong table. We don't anymore. We are very well-established, guys. We're super big that's good to know spit wads whether you're starting from scratch or looking to advance code academy can help you reach your coding goals we have had a draft on this show about important things
Starting point is 00:36:01 that i want my kids to learn how to do, programming is one of them because as grownups, programming is a great occupation and Codecademy lets you learn at your own pace and get qualified for in-demand jobs. You choose what to learn, build basic websites to artificial intelligence, everything else you could want in between. No matter your experience level, you'll be writing real working code in minutes and you can learn coding languages including Python or HTML, CSS, JavaScript, more. We have this. We have our kids on it. I mean, it is a phenomenal way to learn how to program, and programming is so important. If you want to have a good job and good skills where you can make stuff for yourself, they have a great way to learn. Join over 50 million people learning to code with Codecademy and see where coding can take you.
Starting point is 00:36:59 You can get 15% off your Codecademy Pro membership when you go to Codecademy.com and use the promo code Spitballers. That's promo code Spitballers at Codecademy.com to get 15% off Codecademy Pro, the best way to learn to code. C-O-D-E-C-A-D-E-M-Y.com, promo code Spitballers. The Spitballers Draft. You guys throwing your headphones in so you can hear music? Listen, Mike. We are drafting the best music themes part two. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:42 Look, I said it on the last show. I would love to be playing these themes for you. Our legal counsel, an owl, has told us that that's probably not advisable. So you will just play it for yourself. Well, look, if I, for some reason, can't summon the tune because we have so many tunes crossing streams here. Sure. Then it's going to be great when you forget one, Mike. Like, for instance, let's say you had the number one pick. Right.
Starting point is 00:38:04 And you knew the song you wanted to get, but you couldn one, Mike. Like, for instance, let's say you had the number one pick. Right. And you knew the song you wanted to get, but you couldn't recall it. But then you put on the music and you hear... Oh, I wasn't sure where it would go. It's at the top of my list for part two. Yeah, I mean... That is E.T., right?
Starting point is 00:38:21 Yes, it is E.T. Another J. Willie. Yes, another John Williams. That will be the first pick here. E.T., right? Yes, it is E.T. Another J. Willie. Yes, another John Williams. That will be the first pick here. E.T. was an egregious absence from the last episode. So way back a week ago, that was with my final pick. I was torn between Terminator, which I took at the time, and E.T. Which is a great ago. That was with my final pick. I was torn between
Starting point is 00:38:45 Terminator, which I took at the time, and E.T. Which is a great pick. Yeah, E.T. is. Yeah. All right. Terminator is great too. They're all great.
Starting point is 00:38:55 E.T. is whimsical. Makes you feel like a kid. All right. I am up. I am sad. That was one of the ones I really wanted. I'm going to go with Mission Impossible.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Okay. Okay. That one was tough for me. Because it is one. I will completely allow it. It is definitely a movie theme. It was a TV theme first. But I'm going to allow it But I'm going to allow it.
Starting point is 00:39:26 I'm going to allow it. I just want people to understand. You're speaking very authoritarian. I want people to know when they go to the polls that that song was a television theme first. Yes, but much like many other shows, it was amplified in the movies. It was orchestrated in the movies. If you want to take the Limp Bizkit version, then I will allow it. No, I will be taking the orchestrated version.
Starting point is 00:39:47 Yeah, I mean, they did use the same melody and sound. The whole song was the same. Right, it was the same thing. It was in a movie. And orchestrated. I'm going with Mission Impossible. I will pretend that was not on my list and make fun of your pick. Mike, you have two picks.
Starting point is 00:40:07 Alright, so... There is the game. Because I feel like there's one... Whatever. I'm just going to... We're just going to go with the heart here. I don't know which order I'd prefer these ones, but I have two picks, so it doesn't really matter.
Starting point is 00:40:28 With the first pick, I will take what has evolved into a blockbuster franchise. Dang it. You don't know. I don't know. That could be several movies. But these movies involve a pirate. Oh, okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:40:46 So, yeah, I'm going to go with the Pirates of the Caribbean. Shouldn't they have stopped sooner? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, for sure. But they kept making money. They should have stopped where Indiana Jones stopped at three. Yes.
Starting point is 00:40:57 Right. It's funny how some movies, if they go too far, the originals maintain their greatness. And I feel like that one, somehow the later movies also strip the early ones of their greatness. The first one is so good. Remind me, the pirates. That's great. I mean, that's pirate music. No, that's good.
Starting point is 00:41:22 You can hear the swords clinking and clacking. Yes, as the pirates often do. And so I will go with that pick, which is a full orchestrated masterpiece into something that was created simply on a synthesizer machine. No, no, don't do it. I wanted to take it number one, but E.T. was there. Don't do it. Oh, and I will take Beverly Hills Cop. I will take the actual
Starting point is 00:41:50 F. Oh, it's so good. I mean, if you... I feel like there are plenty of people, plenty, in fact, maybe the majority of our audience have never watched Beverly Hills Cop. Half. I don't know. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:42:11 That's a great. I'm curious. I've never seen it. Any of it? Never. That's inexcusable. Mind blowing. Do you go if you.
Starting point is 00:42:19 So, okay, to a fresh face over here. Would you recommend going back to number one or you're going to. I'm going to go to two. I'm going to go to two. I'm going to go to two, but two and then one, because you'll be like, I want more of this. What's great about this... But you still know the song. Even if you haven't seen the movie.
Starting point is 00:42:35 What's great about it... Well, a lot of kids know it now because of the stupid frog. Ring, ding, ding, ding, ding. He had his own version. But the Beverly... The Axl F, I think it's called, it's either Axl F or Axl Foley. You can name that tune if you have the right synthesizer tone.
Starting point is 00:42:54 That's like one note. Yeah, you know immediately. Oh, yeah, that's the Beverly Hills Cop song. Now I've got to find a new part. All right, so you don't get that either, Jason. All right, I'm back on the clock. You could have left me E.T. I am going to go with, I'm going to give a new... All right, so you don't get that either, Jason. All right, I'm back on the clock. You could have left me E.T.
Starting point is 00:43:08 I am going to go with... I'm going to give Danny Elfman some credit here. Okay. I'm going to give the 1989... I think Elfman was Mission Impossible. Batman. I'm going to give him credit again. I'm going to give him credit again. Batman from 1989.
Starting point is 00:43:20 Yes. So moody. It's so spectacular. So Keaton Nicholson and that Batman. Yes. It's wonderful. It's a fantastic team. Plus, they really started the series.
Starting point is 00:43:36 I mean, they really started the, I mean, Adam West has this place, but the movies and the, that was just great. Did you see that in the in the theater no i did not because i was not old enough oh yeah i was very young and that was like a big deal of my my pops who was a super batman fan brought me to the movie theater to see it and i my biggest memory of the movie was so so I mean, I'm, we can, we can vet the age, but I,
Starting point is 00:44:08 six, maybe seven. So, I mean, I got a, I got a little kid brain and the intro is like just them, you know, doing like this weird computer stuff over the logo where it's just, it's the Batman.
Starting point is 00:44:20 And I had no idea. I had no idea what was going on. And it was like the longest intro I'd ever seen in my life. Yeah, I remember that. Where am I? I remember that. What?
Starting point is 00:44:29 What is going on? They were into incredibly long intros in the 80s. That intro was so long. You were getting the nieces of the sound designer, the assistant sound designer, in the opening credits. Oh. But it's a great song.
Starting point is 00:44:43 Yeah. I'm going to go back to the 80s. You're like a man who doesn't know what to pick. No, no, no. Well, there's a lot to pick here. But I think I'm going to go back to the 80s like you guys were just saying. Long intro music. And there's a couple bangers in here.
Starting point is 00:44:58 Their theme song is amazing. But sometimes when you think of this movie, you also think of another specific song. And this movie is coming back out. Oh, okay. It's on my list. I'm going up in the air. Yes. I'm going with Top Gun, baby.
Starting point is 00:45:13 And how's that one go, Jay? Well, Highway to the Danger Zone is what my brain goes to. Yeah, like when the guitar kicks in, it goes. It goes. What? Yeah. Wait, what did you do? And for my second pick.
Starting point is 00:45:32 What did you? You're the one supposed to hop in here and help us out with these. Do you remember it? Yeah, Top Gun? Yeah. Yeah, that's what I was doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check the tape.
Starting point is 00:45:44 We know they can. All right, what's your next was doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Check the tape. We know they can. All right, what's your next pick? My next pick is, I believe. That was so good. Check me on this one. That's a good pick. I think it's Steve Vai. The Top Gun?
Starting point is 00:45:58 Yeah, Al will look that up for me. I think Steve Vai or Petrucci. Or no, no. Stanley Tucci. look yeah it was i'm seeing top gun anthem harold falterman no but who's the guitar player on the track steve stevens oh i thought it was fine sorry cool story um now this one is one where i i know i love it doesn't quite have the same hook and i'm hoping mike, Mike, that you can recall this, because I know you've heard it a kajillion times. It is so thematic for things that,
Starting point is 00:46:32 at least Mike and I desperately love, they even have a land in Disneyland. Yeah, okay. But the Avengers... Dang it. Yes! It's also... It's like it's the Marvel stinger now. And it's good.
Starting point is 00:46:52 It's very good. It took a long time for me, though. Like after seeing the first Avengers movie, I thought it was a totally forgettable motif. And I was like, I'm not into this. But over time where they I mean, they just Marvel is. Totally forgettable motif. And I was like, I'm not into this. It's stuck. Over time, Marvel is in my heart now. It does associate with the memory of being there. So it definitely has an emotional connection. But yes, now when I hear that line, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm about to see an incredible movie.
Starting point is 00:47:22 All right. I am back up. You are. All right. I'm going to go with Lord of the Rings. Okay. That, I am back up. You are. Alright, I am going to go with Lord of the Rings. Okay, that one I can't sing. Oh, okay, I remember now. That was...
Starting point is 00:47:38 That was so bad. You got it. I don't remember. Oh, yeah, yeah, okay. That's yeah yeah like i heard what he was doing i was a little you brought the flutes in and i was there key off um so that's what i'm gonna go with lord of the rings that's really good i i love the lord of the rings music it's on my list but i couldn't remember what it was that's the main hook yes that is i i felt like i went and i listened to like three minutes of their intro theme song and i and they never got to the hook no that's the hook is that one yeah all right mike you're back all right jack excellent i figured this one would
Starting point is 00:48:16 come back because it's somehow is it's not at the whoop i'm dropping stuff it's not at the level that it should be. The movie is fantastic. And the main theme from it is now, I think, starting to build. A lot of people use this for if they're making TikToks and reels. I mean, I'm probably getting targeted because I like space stuff, but the theme song from Interstellar is something that I can fire. I go to YouTube. This song, Loop for an Hour. It's that type of song where you can just have it go.
Starting point is 00:48:57 Yeah, because it's got different highs and lows. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do. That one you can't really do the melody because you need the other part of the music to create the tension in it. But it is fantastic and really makes... And it takes Interstellar to a whole new...
Starting point is 00:49:17 To outer space. Yeah, I wanted a space pun in there. Yeah, I think that, you know, when we look at these great classics, like, that music is unbelievable. It's really great. I remember watching it being like, this is awesome. That movie's great.
Starting point is 00:49:31 But if you don't, if you're the composer and you decide not to just put in a super hook. No, the hook is there. Is it though? Yes, over time. Yes. The hook is there. Is it, though? Yes, over time. Yes. The hook is there. We need some more time between the movie and later on. There's also no sequels.
Starting point is 00:49:52 That's a hook. Sure. I can agree with that. I don't think it's a prototypical theme, but it's a very good theme. It's an awesome score. Yeah. It doesn't have the memorable hook. It sucks.
Starting point is 00:50:07 Exactly. Are you – you got one more, Mike? I have one more, and I am really torn because this is the end. Dude, you have to. Oh, yeah. I mean, it's in the running for me. It is in the running for me. I mean, it will happily go undrafted if you don't give it any
Starting point is 00:50:25 credit i i totally understand that um fine i will i will take because it's so fantastic i will take blade runner uh by evangelist the who is also the person who wrote chariots of fire which i'm sure you guys you guys would much prefer chariots of fire the movie i don't know about the music the music was great blade runner um if i can yeah yeah oh yeah no that was great that did put me to sleep yeah all right so you need the youtube shouting and stuff to stay awake i I played... Smash subscribe! Oh my gosh! I played the game with this, my final pick. Blade Runner? It's a good game. Not your final pick.
Starting point is 00:51:13 I played the game because this would have been my number four pick in the last draft. But I knew I could make it all the way through this draft and make it my number four pick. I actually think it's one of the absolute best movie songs ever. And that is... And there's a game?
Starting point is 00:51:31 No, no, no, no, no. I'm saying I'm playing the game of our draft. Oh, okay. But I know neither of you are going to pick it. Oh, good. Which is the theme from Last of the Mohicans. Yes. Which I think is honestly one of the best scores,
Starting point is 00:51:44 the best... And they play it... You know honestly one of the best scores, the best, and they play it, you know some movies, they have a main theme and they kind of use it every once in a while, but very rarely. Yeah. It's like through the whole,
Starting point is 00:51:52 the whole movie is the song. I mean, it's like, it just keeps coming back up. What is it? I can't help you. Yeah, I can't help you.
Starting point is 00:52:01 That's not helpful. You didn't even let me get even close to getting into it. Oh, I'm sorry. It sounds good. I never saw Last of the Movies. I've never seen it either. I feel like it's... Go watch it.
Starting point is 00:52:21 I actually watched it within the last... Hold up. For the very first time, I watched it within the last five years. Oh, man. I don't think... And it held up completely. It's a fabulous movie, and the score makes half the movie. Is that Costner?
Starting point is 00:52:33 No. Then I'm out. Daniel Day-Lewis. How about in again? Ooh. Daniel Day-Lewis. Daniel Day-Lewis? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:39 He's the main character. Okay. Sounds pretty dark. Yeah. I mean... Oh, okay. I'm in. Now do you know it the movie was too dark so they went with the circus song to lighten it up now hold on al just on the off chance you've seen this movie there's no way i have not say no way do yourself a favor pull up the main theme well what about
Starting point is 00:53:00 brooks brooks have you seen last of the mohicansugas? You're a movie guy. No, I haven't. Oh, boom, in your face. I want to now, though. I know the theme, though. No, do you actually know the theme? No. Or you were just making fun of me, too. No, I was just making fun of you. Okay, yeah, you're a real funny guy.
Starting point is 00:53:17 I have heard great things about it. It's just one of those, I missed it. Missed it. All right, so I am up with my last pick. And I'm a little surprised this made it all the way through. And maybe it's... I think we're going to find out why. I'll bet we are.
Starting point is 00:53:36 But Ghostbusters. It's on my list. I mean, Ghostbusters is one of the most iconic... How's that go again? Mike? Mike? one of the most iconic. How's that go again? Mike?
Starting point is 00:53:47 I felt that one felt kind of like cheating. Yeah. I was like, that's a radio hit, but that is the song that's Ghostbusters. I mean, who are you going to fault? Who are you going to fault? Ghostbusters. I said fault for taking the pick, but yes, it was who are you going to call?
Starting point is 00:54:03 Yeah. E.T. Top Gun, the Avengers, Ghostbusters for Jason. I went with Mission Impossible. Batman. We got to specify that one. Yeah, you do, because Dark Knight was on my list. Lord of the Rings
Starting point is 00:54:15 and The Last of the Mohicans, Mike with Pirates of the Caribbean, Beverly Hills Cop, Interstellar, and Boar Runner. Do you like what I did there? I did. I did. All right.
Starting point is 00:54:28 What did we learn today we learn anything today yeah i learned the reality is you should always uh work with ping pong tables and then quit and go somewhere bigger if you need to. Yeah, I think that that's good advice. I think we gave very, very good advice today. I think Jason still thinks he's on the Truman Show. That's what I learned. Yes, and I learned that. I know I am. I learned the robo vacuums are still a waste of money.
Starting point is 00:54:57 That's true. Well, to be fair, I haven't bought one in like a year, so let me try it again. Try the new technology. Pay more. Make sure you let us know what other themes we forgot. I know that there were other good ones. Gladiator was on the list.
Starting point is 00:55:10 Godfather. Psycho. Requiem for a Dream. All right. Leave it in the comments. We'll catch you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast.
Starting point is 00:55:23 To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.

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