Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 202: Seedless Beef & Things We Miss From Our Childhood - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: July 18, 2022

Time for the spitwads to weigh in. It is Jason/Andy vs. Mike in a heated debate on selflessness with selfish motivation. We also discuss things like when to throw away a pair of underwear, stealing food, and trying to figure out someone’s name you’ve forgotten. We close it down with a draft of things we miss from our childhood. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. This scat brought to you by the Atari 2600. Oh, man. There are... I don't know. I don't know what to say about that scat. Other than it... I don't think you need to, man. There are, I don't know. I don't know what to say about that scat other than it. I don't think you need to, man.

Yeah, it came from nothingness, you know? And there's something original about nothingness. Sure. When we do the scat, it has to come out. Like, you have to say something. Yeah, I mean, look, when a great artist sits down at a blank canvas it comes from nowhere yeah yeah i i agree and just like that work of art those great artists that scat just stands on its own yeah right you just take it in yeah the gallery of scats if you ever visited it

it's a can we get someone hooked that up in the metaverse, just like the Spitballers, all of Scats, and you can walk up to them and enjoy them? Yeah, there's a lot of them. All right. How many do we have? About 202. Okay. Actually, we didn't start the Scat until-

No, I think it started around like 30 or something like that. Al Borland in the house. What's up, Spitwads? Episode 202, is that right? My goodness. My goodness. Would you rather rather that's a great question and a draft today that is uh what are we doing things we miss from our childhood yeah okay we're just looking back a little bit of nostalgia yes because the doc says favorite pies so i wasn't

sure if we were driving you really mine says uh right thing things we miss from our childhood we'll do pies soon enough we just did a chocolate related draft and ironically chocolate pie would be on that draft as well so we need to space the food drafts i was curious about that we did the chocolate draft and no one took a chocolate pie and then i was thinking do people really listen eat pies? Chocolate pudding pie. It's just a pie crust, and then they put chocolate pudding in there? That's not a pie. This is my point.

Let's get into it. Pudding and a pie crust. The chocolate pudding pie with? You have whipped cream on top of it. All right, now it's a pie. Wait, wait, wait. The right, now it's a pie. Oh, so that way, wait, wait, wait, wait. The whipped cream turns it into a pie? Well, yeah, because before it was just a pudding bowl.

I mean, you've got to have both sides of a crust, right? Like a pie crust on bottom and then a topper for it to be a pie. Otherwise, it's just pudding in a bowl. I believe Andy was saying that there is pie crust. I see what you're saying. Although, technically, a pudding gets that film on top. Otherwise, it's just pudding in a bowl. I believe Andy was saying that there is pie crust. I see what you're saying. Although, technically, a pudding gets that film on top. Oh, it's so gross. Stop talking about that.

So that could count as the other side of the... It's so nasty. But anyways, a chocolate pudding pie is unbelievably good. Now, that's different than a chocolate silk pie, right? They're very... Why would you eat silk? They're a little bit more similar. Not actually made of fabric, Mike.

A chocolate silk pie is more rich, but some of the silk pies that you order from a village in can be pudding-y. Man, this is a world I've never been in. All right. But you're right. None of us drafted them. So we are going to get started.

Would you rather i watched uh al borland changing the the show doc live as i was reading the favorite pie thing too interesting twitter question would you rather trust someone and regret it or not trust someone and regret it okay someone explain this to me so we are living in regret either way so like basically you're saying hey uh uh bob pick me up from the airport and then bob does not show up or you you feel like bob's not going to pick you up so you don't even bother to ask them and then later on it's this whole ordeal of i'm your friend why would you you you didn't ask me i thought you trusted me now on on a simpler on a on a simpler example than the airport yes think about this someone says you know you're you're you're

standing in front of a roulette table okay and they say put 20 on 11 and you say no i don't i don't trust you you put it somewhere else and then you say, no, I don't trust you. You put it somewhere else, and then you regret it because it hits 11. But then... Or... So the simpler thing is to go to this game of chance that is like... No, I get it, because you're saying that if you do trust them

and it doesn't hit 11, then you regret trusting them. Exactly right. You can't trust someone on an intuition of pure luck. Listen, this was... I had an answer pretty quick. I've got real life possibilities here. The answer is to not trust someone and regret it. Of course it is.

Because that leaves you in a world of what if, or if you don't trust them and you regret it, maybe they were trustworthy. I feel like that's a world of optimism more than the one where you trust them and you regret it, and they were trustworthy. I feel like that's a world of optimism more than the one where you trust them and you regret it and then you're just sad. Well, you also have someone else's feelings to take into account here.

When you don't trust someone, it's not just you living in your own bubble. That other person might know they did not trust me. So now you've hurt someone's feelings, you've let someone down, and then it was all for naught. Because were wrong because you regret it yeah like uh al saying you know advice right if you get advice from a friend would you rather get advice that's not trustworthy and then regret it man advice is so tricky because the person like well i think i regret this question here's what

i would do if i were in your shoes like but you're not in my shoes so you are this in it you're just a bystander who has absolutely no skin in this decision okay okay let's let's trust no one children let's detour for a second help me understand humanity. Why? Because that's what we're here for. You've come to the right place. Because I noticed this with everybody. And I don't think that many people don't live in this world. But why do we like giving advice so much? And that can go from the simplest thing. Like if you know somebody that's an electrician.

Right. Or is a dentist. Or is a great whatever. why do you want to tell everybody so much and why do you want to give advice to people so much and i'm not saying mike you i'm saying human beings i'm not electrician why do we like being the source of information so much we like receiving glory yes i mean this is it it's it's ugly to say out loud but we all know the truth yeah we all want that affirmation want to be recognized for my skills don't we just want to help people not at all no we do not this isn't about you getting a good electrician this is

about you thanking me for what a great electric i did such a great job on your electricity work because of my reference and now thank me with hundreds of dollars. That's the reward you're looking for? Every time you refer a dentist, you want like a big kickback? You guys don't have that big affiliate program? Actually, you know what? I'm selling my dentist on every quarter. Hold on a second, because this is a great opportunity to tell the famous Mike story

of when you think you're giving somebody something, but you're actually in it for yourself. Oh, are we going to the New York beds? We're going to the New York hotel. Oh, fantastic. Please tell this story. Which essentially in the early days of the podcast, Fantasy Footballers, we were on a very tight budget. Yes.

And the idea of us having separate rooms at a hotel, it was not going to happen. We were going to just find a way to make it work, and that could be different room configurations. But the three of us, one hotel room, a couple of queens. No. A couple of twins. No, they were not twins.

They were queens. They were foals. This is a New York City budget these were not twins. They were queens. They were foals. This is a New York City budget hotel room. I think they were queens. I 100% promise they were not queens. Because I have no problem. Sharing a queen? You can share a queen.

There's definitely enough room. These were two foals. Neither here nor there. Well, it's an important detail because to have two grown men on a foal. You could do it. Of course you can, but that is- No, that's not- That's tight. That's real tight.

The reason I say it's unimportant is because the truth is somebody was going to have to make a choice. Yes. And to either share a full or someone was going to sleep on the floor on a pallet. Right. That's fair. someone was going to sleep on the floor on a pallet. Right. And my friend Mike, who many of you know, he was just like, I don't mind. I'm going to sleep. And so he slept in between the two foals.

And Jason and I had the luxury of being on the beds. Yeah, right away. He said, I'll just take the floor. It was really quick. Yeah, it was just like, boom, bam, I'll take the floor. I was like, okay. And what were you thinking at the moment? Honest to goodness, in that moment, genuinely, I was thinking,

I can share a bed. I'll be willing. But Mike was like, I'll take the floor. So it was like, okey dokey. Yeah, so that was cool. And then what else happened? Well, then as time went on, we- The situation arose again. Yeah, the situation arose again.

It did. What was the specifics of that situation? Mike, you're the one with the memory. We were in Dallas. We went to a hotel. There was, I don't remember the complete bed situation. If it was like- It was two queens.

Was it two queens? It was. Okay, so there was two queen beds, and I said, oh, well, there's the two queen beds. I slept on the floor in New York, so I'm taking my own bed. That's right. Yeah. That's very similar to that. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. He came in and said, well, I get my own. Yeah. Because without us asking you to do anything in the last time, you laid on the floor of your own volition and then completely claimed it the next time around. As though it was a down payment on the eventual solo bet. Yeah.

I think it's hard to word this in a poll. It's getting a little hazy in the old memory banks now after seven years. No, it's fantastic because we've told this story so many times. And every single time, you two are completely aligned. But every person you tell the story to goes, well, of course he got the single bed. He slept on the floor multiple nights in New York. The problem wasn't that you would have gotten a single bed.

I think left to our own devices, we would have gone to a healthy decision, to be fair about it. Yes. The problem had nothing to do with the end result. Is that fair? The problem had to do with how quickly you had apparently made a transaction with us that we did not agree that we had not negotiated with our lawyers right no no lawyers have been involved you've heard this story al right

just recently yeah recently like not just now no like a couple weeks ago like two weeks ago i was told this oh Oh, were you? Yeah, and don't ask him. Where do you stand on this story, Al? I sided with Mike on this. I'm not surprised. No, we got one more fellow in here. We got Brooksy.

Brooksy, where would you have landed in this discussion? Yeah, I would have sided with Mike on that one. It's nuanced. There is no nuance. There is nuance. There is nuance here because the point wasn't that Mike was going to get. We would have given Mike a bed. We totally would have given Mike a bed.

That is not. The question is not did Mike deserve a bed by himself. Exactly. The question was is he allowed to universally dictate that when he was the only one making the choice the first time thank you you made both choices for all three of us yeah king yeah all right um i'm gonna move on sydney from patreon we'll bring this up again in one year put it in the calendar uh what is the best no no we gotta go back because like in one of these instances i'm sleeping on a hardwood floor on a blanket. And the other one, you two shared a queen bed. Did we?

Yes. Did we share? Yes. That might have been the worst night of sleep of my life. Okay, so for a queen bed. And this guy's over here. Well, you should have just shared the full with me. Get out of here.

Nonsense. We'll fight this till the end of days. Oh man. Yeah. It just, it made the first choice completely selfish. That's how we felt. Oh sure.

Yeah. In hindsight, we didn't realize that it was a transaction, right? It wasn't a selfless move. It was a, you did it so you could cash in. And I slept on the floor. But did you do it to cash in later?

At the time, no. At the time, it was somebody has to make this, and I'm the selfish one sleeping on the floor. How dare I? Thank you. Now we're getting to the- I apologize. Thank you.

I apologize. I made that decision. I think now everyone can see Mike was the selfish one here. He admitted it. Mitch from Twitter, would you rather never be able to wear shorts again or always have to keep your house five degrees warmer than your current average? Five degrees? Oh, my word.

This is not a question that's appropriate for me. What do you keep your house at? Lately? In the summer. I just keep going down a degree. Like every six months or so, I'm like, I could go a little colder. How cold do you – actually, I shouldn't ask that because I've been to your house during one of your cold spells. Yeah. And I've had to change it.

I mean, secretly. So cold. So cold. And we keep had to change it. I mean, secretly. So cold. So cold. And we keep our house real cold. We keep it so cold when my parents come over, my mom brings a jacket. Like, it's that cold. Wow. But Jason's house is what I think the South Pole must be like.

I'm rocking a 71 degrees on that thermostat. Okay, so you have not. 71? Yeah, that's not in the 60s. I thought you were talking 68. 71's still quite cold still you're 68 for parties aren't you oh i'll turn it down to whatever it can go down a party is a different circumstance so what do you keep your house at in the summer andy 74 75 yeah mine's at 74

after we got the solar yeah i was like and i'm taking advantage of this i don't know if our audience really understands 74 feels like 95 not only that but when you cool your house to 74 in Arizona that's about a $10,000 a month bill this thing is running non-stop

every degree here is so much money they actually make you swipe the card when you move the degree down. Yeah. You've got to get a line of credit. They've got your social before you can get down past 75. So it's one of those things where the rest of the country, maybe you're like heating it to 70.

It's a totally different paradigm. Yeah. In fact, it's funny because we're so AC pool. That's all you do in the summertime when my wife moved out here she was colder in arizona than she was back in pennsylvania because of how cold every restaurant yeah and room and everything was with the ac um so now in this situation i would have to move the temperature to a completely unlivable 76 degrees. You set yourself up well for this one. I mean, but genuinely.

But you have to wear pants outside during the summer. No, no, no. Or if he moves it up five degrees, he's fine. He can wear shorts. Right. But that's what I'm saying. The other choice is like. I wish I didn't have to wear shorts.

You wish you could wear pants. If I could wear sweatpants every day of my life, I'm doing all right. Why haven't we figured out the technology? No. Well, number one, they're called sweatpants. Fair. Not made for the heat. No, but why can't you wear a pair of pants that's much more like netting?

Those are called fishnets. Not that much like netting. Somewhere in called fishnets? Not that much like netting. Somewhere in between. It's really a statement piece if you walk out the streets of Arizona with fishnets. No, but like JNCO-style fishnets, like a real loose... But it's thin?

Like a fish net that you wear. Made out of denim? Yeah. I don't know why we don't have pants that can be air conditioned. I'm going to wear the pants. That's the key here. We need air conditioned pants. Okay.

I am in on that. Where do you put the compressor? You got to have a backpack. Yeah. I can't survive in five degrees hotter. I really can't. Hold on. In my house.

Would you commit to wearing a backpack? If you had air-conditioned clothes? If you had air-conditioned pants. No, because we could technically have that now. Just wear a spacesuit everywhere. Those are temperature-controlled. That's too heavy. Wait, spacesuits are temperature-controlled?

Now, I'm not saying that. Yes, yes. I know that they're temperature-controlled in the sense that you can go out in space and you're not freezing. Right. But they're not regulated to, like, I've got it at exactly 74 degrees. They're going to be hot as your body inside. No, they regulate.

Just insulated. They regulate that. There's at least fans going on in there. For real? It's got to be something. Yeah. Oh, we got to look this up. I don't believe that for a second.

I'd make a strong bet on that one. Like, you don't want to be chilly or sweaty in there. Chilled water. I'll find me the information. We already got it. Go ahead and read it out. We got it already? He's fast.

It says chilled water flows through the tubes near the space walker's skin to regulate body temperature and to remove extra heat during the spacewalk, which typically lasts multiple hours. Vents in the garment draw sweat away from the astronaut's body and help with circulation inside the spacesuit. That's incredible. It's like liquid cooling in a computer. Can you buy them? So NASA. Welcome to Arizona.

Just get a street clothes line going. I mean, this is ridiculous. I think I could do that. I think I could walk down the street in an astronaut. How many people are in space at one time? Like a dozen? Probably less. I mean, let's focus.

We got eight billion people here we never even and we need we need air we need air-conditioned pants why it seems like we really cooled it on the going to space stuff well there is a how many people are in space right now. Okay. What's the answer. So this I'm guessing six. Okay. Mike what's your guess. I'll go. I'm going to go nine.

It is 10. Oh yes. What are their names and where are they. Caleb Baron. What. Thomas Massey says who they are and what are they all on the space. They're in one spot. Yeah.

Are they hanging out. I don't know. All it is is names and total. That's all I have. Okay. That's just where we are. We're like, oh, that domain name can't possibly be lying. I will take that.

Yeah, you're right. That's where I could go throw a how many people in space right now dot com, and I just throw up a number. What is MikeSelfish.com? Go there. Yes. Yes. Dot com. It's the old school trick where like you click on the button and it just keeps moving around.

Right. That's right. OK. I'm going with the. Oh, there was a question. I think I can never wear shorts again because of the fact in Arizona you're really not trying to be outside on purpose during a time you need to wear shorts. You're not doing it on purpose.

It's from my car to Target and back. I hate wearing pants. I hate it so much. Like a pair of jeans. Even fishnets? It's been a while. I hate it, but I absolutely have to take this. I can't be

unhappy for the majority of all of my life, which would be indoors in too hot. You guys ever worn velvet? No. I can't say as I have. I mean, maybe. Are we missing out on something there?

Is it cool? Not in Arizona. It's pretty warm, right? Yeah. What about silk? You ever worn a silk pant? Yes. Those are heavy too, though, right?

No, no, no. Very light. Silk boxers? Very smooth. Yeah, baby. Silk boxers are a problem. I'm out of the silk boxers. They're just way too smooth.

Oh, they're great. They can't stay on. Right. There is elastic in the band. Plus, you try to get into bed, you slide right off. Yeah, exactly. What were you talking about? Air conditioning.

Okay, we'll move on. Mike, are you choosing the shorts one or what are you doing? You're happy wearing pants. Yeah, but five degrees. Five degrees is five degrees too many. That's what I mean. And here's a problem. Once you adapt to the lower temperature,

because I used to be a 78 degree in the summer person. Yeah, there's an adaptation. And it just slowly started ticking down. All right, let's poll the producers here. That's what I'm talking about. There's no cheat. You can't go back up. Like 74 was always great, but then I was like a little warm.

You got a little taste. Once I went to 73, I was like, oh, this is so much better. Jay, the first degree, it's free. Yeah. Yeah. The first degree is free. What's funny is that's true. But what I don't understand is before you had the taste, right?

You're in a 78 degree house. You're not sweating everywhere. Then you have the taste. Then you're in like a 76 degree house. You're sweating all over the place. So your body's adapting. The problem that I've had is if you. It is like a 76 degree house you're sweating all over the place so your body's adapting the problem that i've had is if it is like a drug if you do this timeline like if it was you know just a graphed out on a chart my tolerance there's also my heat tolerance there's also a body weight issue that keeps rising over time so i think that plays part it's like a bmi

chart it crosses over like we gotta graph this out they should tell you at the doctor what temperature you should live in yeah well you're good for 79 there you're almost 3 bills so you're gonna need to crank that thing down to 70 we got a 68 degreeer

alright deuces they turned your room down at the doctor's office deuces what's your temperature at your house on average? 77. Okay. Oh, you monster. Yeah, I'm 77 or 78. Yeah.

Yeah. And now do you- Stay there as long as you can. I remember those days. Do not experiment with the lower temperatures. Don't push that down button. Now, I'm guessing, now are you both very happy with your lives? Yep. Yes. So this is, so is this, I went to 77 because I'm guessing, now, are you both very happy with your lives? Yep.

Yes. So, is this, I went to 77 because I'm happy, or I went to 77 because I know if I go lower, it's going to cost me money? That's where I'm comfortable. You're comfortable enough between money, heat, balance. That's what you're finding. Yeah, I'd go cooler if I- If you could afford it?

If I could afford it. Okay. All right. All right. I'm going to need a raise. Got to get that solar, man. it yeah i'd go cooler if i if you could afford it if i could afford it all right all right i'm gonna need a raise gotta get that solar man yeah yeah yeah okay i was i was waiting for him i've got it i i just moved my old house had it but no it's not okay earth hater uh hickory pete from patreon oh thank you for your support would you rather only be able to eat the foods you can steal or the foods you can grow? Ooh. Oh, man.

I can't grow a steak. What's the most stealable food? Like, on an average day, I think I could get out with, you could get free fruit, right? It seems like it. I feel like you could just, like, even be. How much fruit can you eat in the store? You can eat. That's what I was going to say.

You just eat it right there. Yeah. You just stand there. I can just eat it right there. Yeah. You just stand there. I'm just checking it out. Or just grab a bag of grapes, walk around, snacking on them. Then you make the face like, I don't actually need anything here. No, you fill it in the cart. No, you put it all in the cart.

Then you leave the cart in the middle of the store. That's a good move. I was just saying, when you do the move at the register, you're like, I'm not going to get this. Can you put these away? As you're chewing? Just put the empty bag. It's all stems. Yeah, just, I don't want this anymore.

We're all just talking about grapes. All you got to do is eat grapes at the grocery store. Well, grapes are very good. An apple, that's enough. Anybody been bold enough to chomp on an apple in the middle of the store? I'm sure there's someone that's done that. but why would you steal fruit when you can grow fruit you know in this question i'll grow some crap fruit there's no way i'm growing good fruit you could grow i mean obviously it would take a long time if you're talking about like an apple and you got to have a tree but like

we grow great oranges in arizona and you could grow them just fine like everybody there's so many people out here that have, you get reverse scurvy. I got, I got a question, Jay. Okay. How do we grow seedless oranges?

Oh man. Cause I don't know. This is not a trap question. No, I was thinking about this. They make seedless. So here's, well,

yes, well, at least the little, the Clementines here. Oh yeah. What blew my mind. And this is last night. So this is fresh. John Hammond. Well, at least the little, the Clementines. Here's what blew my mind. And this is last night. So this is fresh.

John Hammond. Fresh. I open my refrigerator up. I look in the fruit drawer and I see. Frigerator set at 71 as well. I see a bag of seedless lemons, which. Never heard of that. I never heard of that. I didn't know that was a thing i

you know seedless watermelons but a little unnecessary no it does not and once i found out once i found out that there are seedless lemons i am so angry at every restaurant in the world for using seeded lemons in my water your water because hate drinking seeds. Call me crazy. It's one of your big things. It is. But I did have that same thought process with you, Mike. How do you

grow the next one? Okay, I can make the first one, but my knowledge of science says I need that seed to make the next one. That's where those seed banks come in, right? Those big, robust, secret. Well, like the one in the Arctic or whatever that has a seed for everything just in case.

Yeah, you got to get the seed, the OG. So essentially what's happening is they are making, and by they I mean the scientists. Right. They are making infertile plants. Okay. And they just keep making more that cannot reproduce. I told you it was like John Hammond. This is Jurassic Park all over again.

But you can do that. But with oranges. You can do that from the seeded. You just go in there and do some DNA splicing. Here's one of the problems. I don't know where you source this. Do you have a good source on this one, Al? It's from Gardenguides.com.

That's not a good source. In the United States, oranges are considered to be seedless if they have from zero to six seeds. Well, that's dumb. Okay. Now, from zero, yeah. That's according to Purdue University's horticulture and landscape okay now we're talking now we're talking the big boys what do what are these standards here six zero to six i feel like if there's how many wedges are in an average orange eight

if ah seedless yeah i mean if if there's seeds in it it should be illegal to call it seedless. It should be called lightly seeded. Lightly seeded. Less seeds. Now with fewer seeds. I mean, seedless oranges can't have seeds or you're a liar. What if they aren't growing them and there's just a big factory where they're pulling them out? Oh, and they're like, stitch it back together? Yeah.

There's people doing it. Orange surgeries happening all around us and we just didn't know that's crazy it seems like a waste of time yeah but it's a it's a fine art removing the seeds yeah you gotta have steady hands um now this was a question i know was stealing food would you rather only be able to eat the foods you can steal or foods that you can grow? And I know you're more of a garden guy. You run that website, Garden... What was it?

Gardenguides.net. Yeah. Gardensonly.com. The reality here is I cannot... I can no longer eat meat if I can only eat what I grow. Okay. Because as much as I love eating meat, I could be a carnivore. I couldn't do the raise and kill my food.

I just couldn't. You can't handle it? No, I'm a big baby. Yeah. I could never do that. with jason on this but do they because it's the question specifically says grow you are not growing animals you're raising animals yeah you're not growing them they don't have seeds they're seedless they do grow though seedless beef zero to six seeds i think i could steal food if i was a traveler because i could i mean you could probably live your entire life from one restaurant to the next

where i was going absolutely right i'm never stealing from a grocery store i'm going i'm dining and dashing and i'm doing and i'm doing the same line at every restaurant for my entire life. I left something in the car. I'll be right back. Oh, it's your wallet. Yeah. I left my wallet in the car. Oh, I'm sorry.

I'll be right back. My wallet's in the car. Has anyone ever said that line and then just started running? Like, if your intention is to steal the food in the first place. Like, you don't have to say a word. You can just get up when the waiter is gone and sneak out. But to be like, oh, I need to get my wallet. I left my wallet in the car.

Just pushing people out the way. There's always a waiter holding a tray at that point. 660. I'll be right back. I just got to grab it. And it just keeps escalating out the window. I forgot it at home. Roll down the window from your car. I'll be right back.

It wasn't in here. Peel out. It wasn't in here. Peel out. We got to make a YouTube video of this. Nobody's pursuing these people, right? A diamond dash? No.

Everyone at the restaurant's going, okay, just go, man. It was a burger. You're fine. 660,000 restaurants in the United States. So you'd be fine. I'm stealing my food. But don't steal things, kids. Stealing my food?

What was the name? Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin.

Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin. Robin.

Robin. I'm laughing at you guys. You guys are going. I'm gone, man. I really enjoyed that. You guys are going. I'm gone, man. I really enjoyed that. You're crying. Turn it down to 71. We're going to need to crank that air down.

It is hot in here. All right. We're going to move on. That's a great question. I am sweating. I am so hot. Yeah, I'm warm. Luke from the website. At what point do you decide it's officially time to throw away a pair of underwear?

Okay. That's an easy question. Okay. It might be different for each of us yeah i mean if we're getting honest yeah let's get into it okay i am you're so sweaty that's a good one um so i know exactly when i throw my underwear away and is it it's i wear underwear just around the house oftentimes okay you know just and i'll what about in public this is important to it oh yeah i'm saying you know when i'm just in underwear whatever if i sit down and it's whoops cold if it's too cold when i sit

i know that the time has come to put those in the garbage. So it's a hole. It is a well-placed hole. But it's a hole only discovered by the temperature of your couch. That is correct. You don't get alerted? You know, it's like you should see that putting them on, but I don't always catch it.

Now, the question about the placement of the hole then. Like, because you could feel the hole in the undies, like, on of the leg right let's like outside five that's fine you could keep that okay you're rolling keep that hole if it doesn't freeze you sitting on a cold piece of furniture okay you can keep it i can't really think of a situation where i'm throwing underwear out i mean it's not for cleanliness it's not there, no, no. You can wash and use underwear a kajillion times. I mean, unless it's fundamentally structurally damaged, it's going to be worn forever. Now, there is... Oh, wait, there's one other way.

Yeah, and that's shrinking. Yeah, or the opposite, which is you growing. Like, if I outgrow... They're really one and the same. If I outgrow... That's never happened? That's never happened to me. I have shrunk so many clothes.

My dryer is just outrageous. It's criminal. It's criminal. It keeps just taking all my clothes and shrinking them down. Over the years, it's gotten rid of entire wardrobes of shrinking clothes so bad. I've definitely pulled the underwear on in the past and been like, that's struggling. I can't breathe. the underwear on in the past and been like that that's struggling that's that's that doesn't you know you talk about wearing underwear around the house like yeah there's a line like at some

point if you're just bulging over areas you gotta get bigger underwear you should not lose weight you should not bulge over your underwear agreed right mine's just, if there's a hole in the crotchal region, I'll get rid of it. Or if there's poop in them. Or, yeah, that too. I would agree. I would agree with that. That makes three of us. Yep.

Not washing a turd in my washing machine, that's for sure. It'll shrink it. All right, we're going to Sydney. From Patreon, what is the best way to figure out someone's name when you forget it? Oh, bonjour. You said we were going to Sydney. That's in Australia. Oh, man.

A joke from another show. Jack knifed into this one. Okay. Best way to figure out someone's name is the one that comes to my mind is trying to get them introduced to somebody else. I like that. If I can't remember, I'll be quickly trying to find someone from my party that doesn't know them and then trying to introduce them and I'll listen.

See, I try to find someone from my party that does know them and then I ask them. Okay. That's my go-to. You've asked me many times. I have asked you so many times. I've asked other people about you a few times. Well, that's troubling. What if you're in a one-on-one situation, though?

Okay, just us. We can't introduce them to anybody. We cannot ask someone what is their name, what's the best way about going. And now we have to presume this isn't the first or second time you've met. Because at that point, you could break the ice and be like, oh, I'm so sorry or whatever. This is someone that you have to know their name. And you can't remember their name.

Sidebar. At what point would it ever... I left my wallet in the car. At what point does it become offensive as a parent if people you know well don't remember your children's names? Do you ever care about that or mix them up? Because I have a real issue a lot of times to just, I don't know my friend's kids' names. If they're over two, I out right on learning all the names probably and i don't think you ever need to be so if someone that you knew really well came up to

you like if i if i came over to your house and i couldn't remember your kids names oh yeah it's just one of them oh yeah it would probably just be one because i'd know them but i wouldn't know which one's which you know just you'd be like oh yeah their names are so it's i know that that wouldn't bother me because i'm with you that i've like other people's kids i'm not with them all the time it wouldn't bother call that one when they were born it wouldn't bother me at all which i don't know what that says like i i think i would be upset if someone didn't know my name but someone doesn't know their name like whatever yeah you know don't worry about them because honestly it's the the problem with the forgetting someone's name is it's more on you.

Like, I don't think I've ever been asked. I'm so sorry. I can't remember what your name is. And been like, excuse me. Nobody can change. Good, sir. My name is Mike. How dare you forget my name?

Yeah, I get that. I would never be egregiously upset, but it would change the relationship in my mind. If it was somebody that I thought cared about me and they don't know my name. Better you know now. Perhaps. Leaving a lie. There's been times, I can speak for all three of us, where we have, as a group, met people who have met us many times. Sure sure and when they went over and over for

five years okay that's fair they act like this is the first time we've met oh man that can irk you but they yeah but that's also i think part of it is disrespect it feels like it feels like they think this is our first interaction ever it's's not a shoot, I forgot your name. I've got one for you, Mike, that you might not like. Hit me. You decide you're going to go to a therapist on a regular basis. You spend an hour with them, and every time you come in to visit the therapist, they're like, what's your name again?

Wouldn't that be a problem? Yes, because I am paying that person so much money to know who I am. To remember your name. And know the intimate details of my life. Check your chart. I'm sure they remember the deets. It's just the name that I don't remember at all. I just can't place the face right now.

Right. You've got a problem or something, right? You're the pyromaniac. You've got an issue, right? Oh, no, you're not. No, that's another guy. Okay, yeah. The podcaster? Oh, yeah, okay. not. No, that's another guy. Okay, yeah. The podcaster?

Oh, yeah, okay. What if that's the whole reason doctors have charts? There's no information on them at all. It's just the name and huge font. And a photo. And a photo. It's a mugshot style. Ah.

That's Frank. Getting back to the kids' names for a second. Okay. I know I'm the worst speller here, but sometimes people spell names of kids different ways. Sure. This is where I get in trouble. I'll be going to text someone about their kid, and I don't know how they spell their kid's name. And so then I'm trying to figure out, how do I?

This happens with you. If I'm texting you or your wife. With my daughter? Aly alissa i don't know it can be spelled if you can be spelled and so but i i i feel like that's rude i feel like if i misspell the name of a kid then that is you know sure disrespectful and so then i try to find ways to talk about your child without naming them and i feel what's funny is i've actually met people that get really offended if you were to get that wrong that's and that's what shocks me is that people could be so upset about something like a misspelling of something like that yeah that i mean that to me that's on them look at names are very important i totally get

that but it's like a simple flub like misspelling someone's name like just correct and move on yeah agreed it's not that big of a deal uh chris from twitter is there a phrase you would like to see come into common vernacular when someone farts aloud because when people sneeze it's very common people say bless you god bless you it's polite right is there a certain phrase or word maybe maybe it's just one word, that you think could come into the common vernacular and it would be polite? What if it was, you fart and you say, a haiku. A haiku? Yeah.

What if you just, you know, then it feels poetic. Every time I fart. But how many syllables did you fart? Well. Right. A haiku. I don't know if I'm in on haiku. What if it was just a scoring system?

Oh, you just graded it? You graded someone's fart from a one to a ten. Because you don't bless yourself. No. You don't sneeze and say, oh, although that'd be funny i think i should maybe start working that in but does that mean that if i fart you know if someone doesn't say bless you it's kind of rude or when i sneeze um you know so if i fart and someone doesn't score it right is that rude of them no not because not everyone's in on the bless you i've got two i want you to vote on these okay one it's a phrase

heaven's the betsy oh what do you think okay okay so you let one fly it's got someone else someone else has to say heaven's the betsy it's got to be a good one though. A good fart? Yeah, because if it's just like a, you can't heavens to Betsy. The other one is whoopsie daisy. Oh yeah. Yeah, I mean, like a whoopsie daisy,

whoopsie doozles. Yeah, I was thinking more along the lines of like a, like a yippee. Okay. You know, like every time, because how much greater would that make the normalization of little toots you know every time someone toots so yippee that's fun that's like i want you to

fart more now what about that's on you that's that's too much negative too much negative too negative yeah that's on you yeah see that she got that came from your butthole because the problem is it's kind of on the nose both literally right of course of course uh is that you is it's kind of on the nose, both literally and metaphorically, is that it was on them. Right. You want to make them feel better. How do you make someone feel better that publicly farts? We all do it. I did it yesterday.

Hit him with like a juicy. Oh, like a real. Yeah. That's a little too. Too sensual. Too sensual. Yeah. And again, if it's just a...

The juice is loose. See? You got to celebrate. Brooks, what do you say when you're significant and other farts? How do you make her feel better? It doesn't happen. Oh, I forgot. Women don't fart.

Girls don't fart. Or poop. That's my understanding. That's my understanding. And they glow. They don't fart or poop. That's my understanding. That's my understanding. And they glow. They don't sweat. They glow. They don't sweat. They never poop. I'm sorry you're a woman, but you're not allowed to have bodily functions.

That's correct. That's what we've learned over time. Any other questions we need to get into? Al? Let's draft. The Spitballers draft well today we are going to take a journey back in time and drafting things we miss from our childhood so some nostalgia going to be fun uh we're old enough to muse about our childhoods. Which I don't know, what's the official age where you're allowed to say back in the day?

Is it 20? Maybe. Because if you're 20, you're saying back in the day, like under 10. Yeah, that's half a life ago. I think that's fair. If you're 20, you could say back in the day. At what point then can you say back in the day and reference your teens

30s I think you gotta be double no we're under I mean some of us are under 40 and I still say back in the day I feel like you've done that since you were 12 fair enough

alright so I have to have the first pick. I don't think that there is a drop dead 101 here of things you miss from your childhood. Maybe I'm wrong. I mean, I'm not you. Well, yeah, but you might have a consensus thought. I'm going to go with long summers. Oh, summer break is on my list. Yeah, I mean. As a kid,

Jason and I were just talking about this today. Our kids just started their summer break. They're back in school in like three weeks. We blinked in their summer breaks over. As a kid, they felt like they were eternal. It's going to last forever. I will never have to go back to school

which I eventually do. Those three months where when you were the kid and just had no responsibilities, like, what are you going to do tomorrow? Ride my bike to my friend's house? And then we will ride bikes at the same time. Long summers and being let out of school for summer was so amazing. Yes. Fantastic.

On my list, very high up on my list but my number one pick we did it it made it to me and we it was mentioned before we were talking about the draft it is blockbuster video because like there's a few things here which unfortunately it sounds i get it sounds old man and soapboxy of me. But first, the exciting part was you go to, and children out there, Blockbuster was a place where, this is where you had to go if you wanted to rent a new movie or a new video game. And so you would just the excitement of the drive to the store,

knowing where you are going. So like getting that dopamine shot of I'm going to go in, I'm going gonna pick out from this place that's just has everything you want and so like a new movie i can actually play a new video game because when you're a kid there's there was no game pass there wasn't this i get everything instantly it's i have to go to blockbuster video and rent the game and then it may not even be there some other kid which means the next time there's even more anticipation but it's like that this is where it's so boxy of me go for it

just i'm with you just that small thing of like having to have the patience and learn like i can't actually get this right now i think that there was some importance to that where i can look back and as a kid being so angry and bummed out that my game wasn't there but now i think that there was some importance to that where i can look back and as a kid being so angry and bummed out that my game wasn't there but now i'm like man having everything at your fingertips right now i don't know that it's necessarily a good thing for humanity where we are headed no because you don't and like you said this this is broader than just being a kid like you miss it because it was around when we were kids. But even as an adult, there are those things where, what is it?

The anticipation makes the result better. Is it easier to just rent something on Apple TV? Yes, it's much easier. And I'm not certain that if you force me to never be able to do that, that that's the best choice. But the idea of going, I loved walking for movies and then finding something new through the walking around experience.

And then when you bring it home, guess what? You got to make a special time to watch it because you got to watch it and bring it back. Like there was something about that. You have 48 hours. Yeah. Or you pay what? Not me.

Or you pay $40 a day or whatever Blockbuster did. Not you? I didn't go to the college I wanted because of late fees. I turned my videos in late every time, and then that would keep you from going back. Did you also not rewind them? Oh, I never rewind a video. Get out of here. No, I love that pic, and I do wonder about that.

Oh, it was the best now i just checked the world's last blockbuster is still and there's a documentary on it it's a good documentary it is it's fun especially if you're old like us all right i am on the clock man um so i'm gonna go with two that are uh they kind of piggyback off of each of yours. So Andy took the summer break. I'm taking school. Okay. I actually think that like. Sure. I don't love the math class, but there was.

Big man on campus over here. Yeah. Look, I had a lot of fun at school, but you have that place where you see all your friends. You have your lunch period. There's so much going on in like your own little world so big yeah it was everything yeah it felt so big it was your whole universe and then you know once once you're done with school it's gone forever and you can't really replicate that like there's nowhere like you got you go to work and you've

got you know your interactions here whatever you've got in life but it's just never the same as what school was and so while you know it's funny when you're in school all you want is summer but then by the end of summer like man i miss my friends i can't wait for school to start let's see my class who am i in class with it was just exciting things yeah the the fact that you were around so many people of your age, that's why it's so hard for grownups to make friends. You're like, well, what? I'm not forced to interact with the same people over and over and over, and I can't just go to Target and be like, hey, there. Hey, friend.

I'm meeting friends in Target today. You come to Target a lot? You buying a TV? Yeah, me too. We should be friends. Okay, that's a good one. Jason, one more pick for you. So the second one that Mike did was something that's gone,

blockbuster videos, better in my old days. Well, I'm going to go there too because one of the things that I miss in a weird way is when there was no technology and this sounds so okay crazy what so no no handheld like portable technology no smartphones no computers we are the three of us say low tech or no tech or what what's your answer what's your my my pick that i wrote down was like no technology there was a i mean a tv i guess is technology. Like the Game Boy came out when we were very young. So less technology? Yeah, sure. Low technology

or whatever you want to word this as. But I was talking about this with my son who was recently grounded from electronics. Oh, how long, by the way? Like three days. And it was crazy because he was asking me for recommendations of what can I do?

Yeah. And so I was like, well, you can read and you could draw. That's the best because it's the same for us. It's the same answers, right? We're like, okay, kids. Puzzles. We're going to take a break from the screen. What should we do?

Read? You're like, well, why don't you go read? Why would I do that that i got a phone but this is what's crazy i was talking to my son and i was like here's what's truly insane you go back the last 5 000 years right this is the we're at the first generations ever in the history of humanity that have had electronics to entertain us. Like, ever. Before that, people were fine. People were absolutely fine.

You could fill your time with whatever you dreamed of, and now there is nothing to do without electronics. And I guess the first taste of it, now that I think about it, was cable television. Because when you had regular television, if what you wanted to watch wasn't on, it wasn't on. Then you didn't have a TV. Then it was cable and satellite. Some people had satellite where it was like, oh my gosh, you could watch things from other countries. And you'd always have something on this on-demand idea. But I like that.

It's just one of those things that we'll never get back. And we are one of the... Yeah, you can't go back to one of the we're a very small slicers there's literally a few lived half of it a few years of humanity where we grew up on both sides I had a computer in high school but in in grade school beyond I there were no computers or cell phones or any of that. So we had both as youth, and we're like the only sliver that will ever experience it. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Man, soapboxes. We'll leave them alone.

But school and low-tech lifestyle. I like it. Mike, you're back. Blockbuster video. And? I'm going with, it's funny because now this is something that comes up often on this show as a scourge of all humanity. But back when you were young and when it was yours, a birthday party.

Oh, I've got it on my list, man. Why? Because everyone who comes to that birthday party, number one, they're my friend. We're going to have an incredible time. But number two, every single one of my friends is bringing me presents. Presents! Incredible time. But number two, every single one of my friends is bringing me presents. Presents!

And not just, like, the world has now shifted to, you know, gift cards and money, which there's nothing wrong with giving. Impersonal. Giving a cash gift. Because nobody cares about non-electronics anymore, Mike. There's no toys people want. But every toy, every present present you got the box was gigantic because it's some action figure in just an absolute oversized box that does not need to be

that big but visually impressive yeah and when you would see that table and you'd sit down after you know just you're at uh you you hit up some good times in the ball pit, and now you just scarf down five slices of pizza. And you look at that table of presents. You're like, oh, they're all for me. I love this pick because this is something I hate. I hate going to kids' birthday parties. I hate it, and they're so, so frequent. But we do it because the kids love it.

Yes. That is so fun for kids to have birthday parties. All right, my next pick, it's back to me. Yep, you're up for two. Is obviously smoking. No, I'm just kidding. Smoking indoors at restaurants. I miss when they said, would you like smoking or non-smoking?

Isn't that funny? Man, these times. And then you sit across the aisle. Yeah. I'll take the section that smells less like smoke. Yeah. I just want a little cancer. No, not smoking.

So I took summer breaks with my first pick. I'll take no responsibility. Yeah. I'll take no. I mean, it was just like the things that it's funny because we're adults and we all have kids and the things that your kids get stressed out on. I was joking today. My son gets stressed out about not posting a YouTube short by a deadline he set in his own head.

Oh, man. So he just, you know, that's the level of responsibility you have as a kid. He's like, I got to I got to stay up later tonight. I got to get this posted. And I'm like, you don't got to. Why? Who's telling you to do this but no i'll go and yeah i will the kids know more about algorithms today than we did but uh no responsibility i mean you

you had your half hour of school work you rode your bike to your friend's house it was just it is the actual 101 like the actual 101 of being a kid is absolutely the fact that you don't have responsibilities that you you're not needing to make dinner or pay bills or have a job or there's just that is the best part of being a kid and then my next pick i'm gonna go with something to encapsulate another thing lost by our on-demand everything delivered by amazon society the same way that blockbuster video was fun for the anticipation there was that for going and buying things or going to the store and seeing things which we've lost in part because of the loss of malls, really. Oh, yeah.

So malls is my pick. The heyday of my childhood was when malls were everything. Yep. It was an event to go to them. You just roam with your friends or hang out there all day long. Bunches of stores. Mall life. What's insane is we didn't have cell phones.

You could just get dropped off at the mall, pick you up at 4. Yeah. Meet me at the fountain. If I can't get a hold of my kid who's in the mall with me somewhere else for two minutes because he's not answering his phone, it's like, oh my gosh. I am 100% guilty of that phobia of anyone in my family if I call and they don't answer. Okay. Who this person has been smuggled out of the car.

And now – Next call is 911. I got to drop what I'm doing and now – Where's Liam Neeson? Now I'm a detective and I have to go find this person. It is funny because we went on a cross-country trip and you're thinking about no cell phones. I was like, I'm dependent on this GPS.

Oh, man. And I was reminding my wife. I was like, and they still have a few of them on the side of the freeway. What, a map? No, they'd have those call centers. Oh, yeah, yeah. Or not a call center, a call box. Yes.

Where if you broke down, you had to walk in one direction until you got to a call box. And the fact that everybody has cell phones now has just changed that. But, yeah, I'm going to go with malls. And it's back to Mr.s and it's back to uh mr mike is back to me i i have two that i really want yeah this is a tough one and i'm not sure where jason is gonna go i have two that i really want oh and he gets two picks okay mike so don't screw it up well uh dang it all right i'm gonna go with this one. It's called Eating Whatever I Want To and Suffering No Consequences.

I'm talking the rum tum tummy. You're not like, oh, God. Look, if I eat this tonight, what's on my schedule tomorrow? I have to know that there's going to be bathroom accessibility. Or if I eat this tonight, that's 450 extra calories. What do I got to do to work this off when I go to the gym? You're like, no, I eat half a pizza. Wash it down.

Wash it down with like jumbo orange soda. And then I can go run a marathon. And I am perfectly fine. That's such a good pick. It was on my list as well. What's funny is I have one son that doesn't eat a lot, so we're always trying to encourage him to eat. He is wasting his glory days. Yes, he is.

But my wife literally told me, she goes, you know what, I guess nobody grows up and then ends up not eating as much as they need to. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, health-wise, he is fine. It's like once you grow up, it's not like he's going to have that problem but he's just he's wasting the metabolism. That's right. Of the youth. I know he could go talking to his morning lunch and dinner and it wouldn't

matter. Have some candy. All right. That's a good pick Jason. You said you had two you wanted. I had one of them. No that was I mean of course that's one of the things I miss and want but I still do eat what I want. And that's a big. It's really the no consequences. The no consequences is the issue. No. First thing, I'm taking Saturday morning cartoons.

Oh, baby. Oh, yeah. I loved getting up on. It's a weekend. That's such a good pick. I didn't even have it on my list. It's so good. It's a weekend. I'm going to pop on the X-Men.

I mean, they were just Saturday morning cartoons. Ninja Turtles. Because like Andy was talking about, you didn't have everything on demand. It was whatever's on TV then. And the wonderful people at these networks decided Saturday morning is for the kids. It's for cartoons. Now as a grown-up, I understand why because it's like, we can sleep in. They can just pop on some cartoons.

They did some good work there. They did some great work. And that was great because the parents would sleep. You could just watch infinity cartoons. So that was wonderful. And then the last one. Cartoons were invented by the International Association of Parenting. Yes.

The last one I'm taking, this is no way, shape, or form as cool or as big or as wonderful as everything else we've talked about and a bunch of other stuff on my list, but it is a very specific thing that was so amazing and so cool that will never happen again. It still can, but it just doesn't because of technology. It's getting letters in the mail. Wow. You dork.

Apparently, Mike did not ever experience this. You never had a... Of course. Did you have a pen pal? I had many pen pals. You punched him in the face. Oh, my gosh. You experienced this, and you don't...

Yes. I mean, the nostalgia of day after day after day. I want that sound clip so bad. You open the mail... On my board. I want to be able to hit that. You dork. You open the mailbox hoping you received the next letter and it's not there. And then day after day you go.

And then because it's three four seven days in a row you got to send the search party because they're gone when you open it and that you know that red envelope that's clearly from a person with handwritten you know label on the front and it's like yeah randy um and you take it out and you're like, oh my gosh. It was just such an experience that it took. It's funny because like now you just send an email and you can get a message back. You can send a text. You'll have information back in a second. But it was fun.

I remember one summer I had a girlfriend that went to, I mean, it wasn't like real. It was like, you know, kid girlfriend. And she went to california for the summer and we wrote each other and so getting these letters sure oh my heart oh my heart just couldn't wait and it was it'll just never happen again writing you know handwritten and they were all handwritten the the whole letter you're not are they in cursive heck no cursive for the dogs you love school but you hated cursive i i hated the school part of school i hated cursive it's the worst final pick uh wait i'm up yeah you're up all right uh i was i india i thought you were gonna take it when you went malls

but because there was a very specific part of the mall that was that was this was the best place you go and you go to the arcade oh that's such a good pick and for me and my youth but unfortunately it's in the mall the the best part of traveling to me like because i'm i'm with you i love malls i was a mall kid there wasn't one in my backyard that's where i spent all my time but when you would travel and you'd go to the mall and it was we got to find the arcade because everyone, everyone had different games. There was some of the big ones that would,

you'd expect to be there, but there would be brand new arcade games and they were so much better than anything that you could play at home. Like you would, you'd wait forever for the Nintendo version of a game to come out and it would just be crap because the arcade version was so much better. So, like, having the new arcade life, people and your friends are there. The games were just, they would blow your mind,

which you get that experience at home now, but you had to go somewhere to have it happen, and it's arcades. If we could bring that back, I'd be very happy. And I'm not making this my pick because I don't even know if it fits as a pick. But to go along with that, Mike, having a scarcity of money as a kid for little things. Sure. And I don't mean like we all have scarcity of money even as adults. But if you want to go to the arcade right now and you want to play forever, you could do it.

You could pull it off. Yes. But as a kid. You had to dig through the couch. Yeah, or like even buying basketball cards. I'd be going to buy one pack and it would take me time to save money for one pack. Now, if I'm an adult, I'll just go buy a box of cards. And it's like.

Right. It's not as exciting when the scarcity is there, which. Yeah, that's a good point. But my final pick, which I think uh you know sappy sad whatever you want to call it oh one of the things that i miss from my childhood is essentially potential unlimited yeah sure pretty sad how it's turned out i know unlimited potential with us you did it. Congratulations. As a kid, you could become anything.

In your mind. Maybe that's not true, but in your mind, if you're 10 years old and you say, hey, I want to be a basketball player. I want to be an astronaut. I want to be a teacher. As you grow older, there are expiration dates on some of those goals, right? Not a lot of 38-year-olds starting their doctor, you know, to you know to become a doctor you can you can not a basketball player though but not a basketball player and so i think as a kid just the fact that the whole future seemed ahead of you is my final and now

look at you i know it's all over no potential um i did have other picks. Never driving anywhere was one of them. Oh, yeah. You got a chauffeur. But that also I thought was kind of like double-edged because then you can't go places unless your parents are driving you. I don't know if you guys participated in these, but like a neighborhood game where just all the kids would get together and you'd play like – Sure. You'd play ditch them. Yeah.

In your entire neighborhood. Yeah, I did that on bikes and it was super fun. Exactly. And it was like this full-scale thing that I can't – Good memories. I can't imagine letting my children do that now. You're like, well, they're the age that I was definitely doing those things. That is terrifying.

First times? Like lots of first times as a kid? First times is a great pick. Summer water sports? Yeah. You know, playing. Out here in Arizona. Absolutely.

Yeah, that's a good one. An athletic body. That's something I miss. That was great. Going hand in hand with that. You can get it back, man. Playing basketball. That was all I did.

You can still do that if you wanted to. Not really. You're like, you can't? No, not really. Not really. They would call it basketball, but he wouldn't call it basketball. I'm so fat.

Oh, no. No, you're just a big body for rebounds now. Yeah, that's right. Box him out. Your rebound body. He's a rebounder. All right, that is it for the things we missed from our childhood draft. We'd love to hear from all of you on social media.

You can find us at SpitballersPod on Twitter if you want to share some of the things that maybe you miss, maybe things we didn't think about. And Instagram.com slash Spitballersers pod spitballers pod.com oh yeah what did we learn today what did we learn today a lot of good stuff i learned that jason's a dork yeah because he liked letters like everybody yeah it was. You'd lose a friend back when you're a kid. You really lost the friend. Sure.

Nowadays, like if someone moves away, you can stay a lot more in contact with them. Back then it was like, I had one best friend in kindergarten, wrote me a couple of letters. I wrote him a couple trail off. Never heard from him again.

Uh, what's his name? Austin. I can't believe you remember that. Yeah. Yeah. It meant Austin. I don't know who sent the last letter, but it was, his name was Austin. I can't believe you remember that. Yeah. It meant Austin. I don't know who sent the last letter, but his name was Austin.

But it wasn't me. I learned that when you're turning down the thermostat, it's a slippery slope. And I learned that you can have seeds and be a seedless fruit, which is nonsense. Zero to six. And that is the same as zero, is what I learned today, yeah. All right, that'll do it for the Spitballers. Thank you for joining us. Al, thank you for everything you do.

See you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.