Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 203: Domestic Yodelers & Animals That Would Be A Problem If They Were Larger - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: July 25, 2022

On today’s show we talk about braggarts, Pitbull, and heavy metal drummers. We also provide some free education as we clearly define the difference between some commonly confused things. We close the show with a draft of animals that would be a problem if they were larger. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Yikes! Stripes! Pass me the wipes! I'm soaking wait yikes stripes yep pass me the white riddle it's a riddle scat i'm trying to be careful with my thoughts on this jason all i know but i didn't like it oh i yeah it was terrible.

It's very short. It was kind of like... It didn't fill the space. It certainly wasn't a scat. No, it was not a scat. So there's that part of it. I said it's a riddle scat. Never been done. I can't wait to... Never to be done again.

I can't wait to figure this one out. All I know is pass me the wipes was there and we're in the middle of putting in a Chipotle order around the office as well. I was referring to the stripes. Okay. Oh, okay. Yeah. I mean, stripes would have to do with the Chipotle order as well. I mean, on the wipes to shape, but I don't usually shout yikes. I'm afraid that Chipotle is approaching. Maybe all the poop jokes around the office are directly psychologically corollary to how often you think about Chipotle. I know you think about Chipotle a lot.

A lot, yeah, multiple times a day. And I'd imagine that poop jokes would come the preceding 10 minutes before you think about it and the 10 minutes after. Maybe that's the source. And a couple hours after. And a couple hours after. And a couple hours after. And the morning after, maybe the night after. Yeah, you got to pay the piper.

The pooper? Yeah, the piper of the pooper. Would you rather, what's the difference? And we are drafting animals. That would be a problem if they were larger which i am looking forward to i mean like a striped animal right that would be very terrifying and then you might poop your pants i see that's the wipes uh at spitballers pod the mystery has been revealed spitballers pod.com let me be clear i didn't like the scat uh instagram.com

slash spitballers pod youtube.com slash pitballers let's get going would you rather amelia from the website thank you for your question amelia would you rather live in an apartment next to professional yodelers? Yodelers. Yeah. Or, by the way, or a drummer for a heavy metal band. And I was going to say if Mike had gone with a yodel scout, that would have been great. But an apartment next to professional yodelers or a drummer for a heavy metal band,

both of these situations are reasons to move sure quickly but which one is more disruptive in truth i feel like this one's pretty easy for me so drums awesome they are great and a good drum solo can rock sure within the context of a song i feel like drums completely solo i'm going to a drum concert i don't think i could do that i don't think i could just sit there and just have drumming drumming drumming nothing else it's got to be like Blue Man Group drumming. But that's the reason that it's good is because there's a bunch of music. Correct. I mean, there's drum line stuff. I'm talking like a solo kit.

I can appreciate a good three minutes of this guy drumming, but I'm easily choosing the yodelers because there is no way the yodelers stay out late. If you're a yodeler. That was exactly right. Is that what you were going to go with? My brain went to the yodelers. Look, these are.'re a yodeler, is that what you were going to go with? My brain went to the yodelers. I'm worried about my sleep. These are squares.

I mean, let's be honest. If you're a professional yodeler and you're listening to this podcast, I'm sorry, but there's no shame in it. No, hang out with the tuba players. You made your choice to be a yodeler. And you go to bed early. This form of singing, like we got to keep this tradition alive.

No, we don't. Unless you're going to go work at Disneyland and sit outside the Matterhorn and just yodel away forever. There's only one gig in the country for yodlers. That's it. That's the one job. There's a yodeler outside the Matterhorn?

No, there's not. But that's where they belong. But they play that type of music. And if there was a yodlers. That's it. That's the one job. There's a yodeler outside the Matterhorn? No, there's not. But that's where they belong. But they play that type of music and if there was a yodeler, you'd think nothing of it. It would just be there. Why do I, in my head,

I think all yodelers come from Idaho. Is that possible? Idaho? Really? Yeah, I don't know why. I thought they were all from like Switzerland.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Well, I mean domestically. Oh, the U.S. bread. The U.S. bread bread i figured they i don't know why just yodeling and making potatoes they probably like potatoes oh yeah for sure who don't but who doesn't like potatoes i mean if we're into art forms that should be retired can we can we get the opera in there i mean why does the opera exist i see i'm being pitched during the movies they want me to go to operas that is true it

like you go sit in the movie theater to watch an opera opera feels like something that was invented before things that were much better were invented yeah and people went because you that was all you could see that was what you want to do you want to sit here and look at the dirt or do you want to go to an opera yeah people used to read books a lot more too because you couldn't just listen to them or watch them in movie form um you know we've some people used to read books a lot more, too, because you couldn't just listen to them or watch them in movie form. But some people even still read books. Some idiots still do. We've retired a couple things.

We've retired tap dancers. Yes. We've retired tuba players. We've now retired yodelers and opera singers. Yeah. I mean, these things happen. And I'm pretty proud of us. The hard part here, like, I can respect,

well, I mean, I respect the drums and the yodels, so that was the wrong train of thought, but the practicing of drums is just the worst. Like, in terms of an instrument for your child to learn, that time before, the time as they go from a beginner to just like an average player is excruciating it is long and it is loud i mean you can play like an electronic that's what i was gonna say do you buy into that can they learn on an electronic system just fine yeah absolutely i mean i'm i am team analog when it comes to drums

but i mean basically everything you listen to, like professional songs, and I'm not talking about where it's hip-hop, so it's clearly an electronic drum situation. Even in rock music, they might be playing on a set, a real set, but then they go in and they sound replace everything. They just digitize everything at the end of it anyway, you're used to hearing that now but two questions it takes so

long to be a good drummer and it it's always loud it's always loud so are we all going with the yodelers just for sleep yes yeah 100 more yodelers or drummers in idaho just out of curiosity in your mind oh yodelers for sure i don't think you're allowed to drum in Idaho. Let me ask you. You can't dance. Right. Because, I mean, I assume that Footloose takes place there. I don't know.

Where's Footloose take place? Does anybody know? Nobody knows much about Idaho. It's actually pretty secret. Wait, wait. Hold on. Beaumont. Yeah.

Keep going. Next question. Where is Beaumont? I know it's not a state beaumont idaho he doesn't even know where beaumont is i thought you knew off the top of your head let me ask you this question though mike it's a little detour but this is spitballers you're the musician of the group you have you have lived in the world of both analog yes and digital right you were a game audio artist i'll just share that

with the spitballers making sound effects don't tell my secrets for game design he has a game design degree so you've lived in both universes you make all the drops for the show do you and you're in a nice 38 i don't know how old you are 39 39 so you are actually you're not like a young kid in the electronic digital age right but you're not like a young kid in the electronic digital age right but you're not an old man who's just like ah the 70s classic rock is all i live for so do you resent any of the digital universe because do you believe there is a magic subtracted from music when you have so many one person bands that exist, right? Because you can go. Interesting.

You can create every instrument digitally and one person can put it all together. Do you lose magic not having four people in a room with the analog instruments in terms of creating something unique? Or do you love Kesha? Well, look, I mean, TikTok from the top. Make it drop. Yeah, look, I mean, TikTok from the top. Make it drop. Yeah, I think that's it. I mean, I got no problem with Kesha's music. It's a jam from time to time.

I mean, I guess you probably do lose some of it. I think you definitely lose some of it in the performance aspect of it, where, like, when everything is pre-programmed, you can't have those just the tasty, magical moments that come out of nowhere, and then your other instrument, or your bass player hears a guitar player do something, and now it changes what the bass player was going to do, so you get more of the improv.

Wouldn't that also change vocals to some degree right like the way that you're improvising yes absolutely and like and singers just like they'll change the lead line of the of the melody and then that'll change the harmony so yeah there is in the live performance of it but i think you know there's in the when it comes to the recording process at least for a long time you you go to a click track right you you which a click track right yeah that's just that's a metronome is clicking the entire time you're recording so that your song stays in time where they didn't used to have those things back in the you know the 60s and the 70s which is if you say because they record all the instruments separately so

you're keeping them all oh a lot of the time back then, they recorded everything at the exact same time. And it was everybody has to play either perfect or good enough. So musicianship has certainly declined because you had to be perfect. It was like one take, you're on tape, it's harder to punch in and fix mistakes. So yeah, there's probably a little bit of the magic that is gone, but music is still good.

It evolves, right? I don't understand the new music, but I hear it's great. I was going to say, is the last 10 years the worst music? Or is it just because we're totally unawares? It's because we are old. Yeah. And I heard someone talking about this. They're like the part of your brain that is more responsible for an emotional response.

Oh, look, this could be talking out of my butt, but it sounded good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please talk out of your butt. When you're a teenager, like that area is just either larger or just a little bit more in control, which, I mean, that checks out for being a teenager. And then you make all these associative memories with music. And that's why the music of when you're a teenager,

like that's why it is so much better than everything else because you are so emotionally connected to those songs. It does seem like everybody at their age has their favorite era that they aren't ever going to let go of. You find a cutoff point. I don't know what age is that. What age is the cutoff point where you're like, I'm done with new music?

I think it's probably five years out of high school or something. I was going to say 23, which is five years out of high school. Oh my goodness! I love Michael Keaton. Also, very important, Beaumont is in Utah. I found that out.

Al said it was Texas. Two Beaumonts? Two Beaumonts, but Footloose was Beaumont, Texas. Okay. Yeah, so thank you for breaking in with that information. While the original film has the fictional town of Beaumont located in Utah, the remake instead places the town in Georgia. I don't know where you're getting your information from, Owl, but you're wrong.

Yeah, I'm going to go with Owl on this one. I'm now remembering they remade Footloose i have no idea i've never seen either was earnest was the bacon in that one earnest from twitter would you rather be surrounded by people who brag all the time or by people who complain all the time oh man those are both oh man i i think these are the two worst things to be around and um and things that i'm always afraid of being i'm afraid of complaining too much and yeah you don't want to be the person that brags all the time. But by the nature of you fearing that you could become that, you won't. Because the worst, don't think about that. Exactly right.

My teenage daughter has a couple of friends. She's got great friends, but there are two that I can think of. What's their names? I'm not outing no any i'm not saying whether it's a boy or a girl but there are two of the friends oh yes i yes cannot believe which one the brag the brag i've never heard one of them ever say anything that isn't how awesome they are at something. It's unbelievable. We've talked about it in our family. Like, are you

kidding? And we've like, you know, gone on long drive rides. Oh, yes. Everyone is aware. That person is the only person in the world that is not aware. That has to be. Oh, that's fabulous. That has to be

an only child. It is not an only child. Oh, okay. fabulous. There has to be an only child. It is not an only child. Oh, okay. I thought maybe it was a byproduct of the dual focus, parental, like everything you do is great. No, no. And the thing is, some of that. It's Samantha, right?

No. When you're in those. Julie. When you're in the teenage years. Barbara. A lot of the bragginess isn't just like right now like if if we know someone that is super braggy it's because they think so much of themselves i think with the teenage years though it's their fears of wanting

to be liked you know to be like uh so they they just the only thing they can talk about is themselves you overcompensate because you're actually insecure. Yeah. Yeah. But I will say this. I will say this. Having been around that person many, many, many times, it can actually become- Layla's very insecure. It can become pretty entertaining.

More entertaining than complaining. Oh, absolutely. I actually enjoy playing our mental games of counting the brags so are you all like get is is there like an eye contact moment that's happening no there's just a recap session afterwards about how good they are these thin things what did you hear but um so i don't know i'm actually realizing that while that i thought for sure that would be the worst. The bragging person is the worst. I actually think that that's better.

Oh, it's so much better. Someone that complains about everything, it just drags you down. It's toxic. I was going to say bragging, if it's just bragging, probably isn't that impactful on the people around you. Now, if it comes with I know everything, then it can be pretty negative

because then it's like nobody's opinion matters because my opinion is the most important. We've all been around those, and that is brutal. You're 100% right. It's the know-it-all more than the bragger that is way worse because, and you nailed it, nobody else's opinion matters. But when you're a complainer, you ruin situations. You think you're going to dinner with a complainer? Yeah, and you're going to have a good time watching them tell the waiter

why their food is wrong? Oh, my goodness. I want to have one of those SNL turtle shirts and go hide in my shell whenever I'm around a real complainer. Yeah, and there's only one other kind of person that exists. Those are only four people. And the other one is the I had that idea too person. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

They didn't say it, but they were thinking it. Oh, I had that same thought. They're tied in with the one-upper. Oh, the one-upper. Usually the same person. The one-upper is the worst version of the braggy person because they can't hear someone else say anything that is good in their life. You went to Australia?

Yeah, I have been there a few times. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah, I know my way around there. All right. All in favor of the braggart? Oh, yeah. You have to.

Jamal from Patreon, would you rather that all songs exist? Okay. There we go. But they are all performed by- But they are all- Sorry. But they are all. Sorry, I'm making fun of you. But they are all performed by Pitbull. Or only one Pitbull.

Or only one Pitbull song exists, but it's performed by every artist with their own cover interpretation. That is a really funny question all from patreon thank you for your support and thank you for this question because this question tickles me so you're just waiting for new versions of the same song to come out that's what music is music is just waiting for the next release oh man of the cover of the Pitbull song. Of the song. Right. Like the song. Or, I mean, imagine a world where Pitbull's the only artist,

so you just open your Spotify and it's just Pitbull. Oh, man. Pitbull singing What a Wonderful World. It's just, oh, brother. Mike, I feel like Mike can give us some Pitbull here. I don't know. I was just trying to, like Mike can give us some Pitbull here. I don't know. I was just trying to, like, what are the big Pitbull songs? I know he's Kesha.

I know what he looks like. I can hear his distinct voice in my head. I can hear him come in and dance, get the hips loose. But what are his big songs? I have no idea. I love Gasolina. Was he Gasolina? Yeah.

Oh, that song jams. I have no idea what they're saying. The other one was Timber. It's going down. Okay. Now, in order to really unpack this, we have to figure out which one of his songs would be the music sung by everyone. Okay.

Because if it's Gasolina. Fireball. Coming up, Gasolina. No one knows what it means. No one knows. if it's gasoline fireball gasoline no one knows what it means no one but it's provocative bon bon like super bon bon no that can't be him but he does have a song called bon bon which are delicious yeah don't stop the party okay i like. That's the song. It's good energy. Don't stop the party. I think I... What's a better exploration of music? Which are you getting more art?

You're getting more art with more artists covering it? Without a doubt. Then that's the one I'm taking. Yeah, because the truth is I've heard cover songs that are almost nothing like the original. You know, you can have a rock, hardcore metal song that is taken and really slowed down and made something. I thought you were specifically the Disturbed cover. Oh, sure. That's a great one.

Which song? Now it's escaping me. Shoot. It was a. Hello, darkness. Yeah, there it's escaping me. Shoot. It was a... Hello, darkness. Yeah, there it is. Yes. Yeah.

So I do think artists... And what a challenge. What a great challenge for real musicians to say, I'm going to cover Pitbull. Is anybody currently covering Pitbull? I mean, I don't think you're allowed to cover that because it's not music. I feel like Pitbull's probably a bragger oh i've the clip is it bragging if it's all true that's a good question the the false modesty isn't anything the clip i think of immediately for pitbull is just like one of those like a reel or something and it's pitbull talking about how he overtook. Like, if you go Google Pitbull, he has overtaken the dog.

Oh, yeah. He's like, my SEO presence in the world is I have surpassed the breed of Pitbull. I love it. I mean, look, if you're right, you're right. Wait, Pitbull's more popular than the dog breed? I don't know. I've never actually checked it. Let's find out.

Let's all do it together. Okay, Pitbull. Sure enough. Pitbull. Pitbull music, his Instagram, actually checked it. Let's find out. Let's all do it together. Pitbull. Pitbull. Sure enough. Pitbull. Pitbull music, his Instagram, his wiki. That's the true. I mean, that's a brag worthy thing. Heck yeah, it is.

Eat it, Pitbull dogs. I mean, if I had named myself- Pitbull human. If I'm an artist and I named myself Banana, and eventually I surpassed the fruit- That's a big climb. That is- I'm taking on Skunk over here. Okay, that's what I want. I want- That's your big climb. That is. I'm taking on skunk over here. Okay, that's what I want.

That's your artist name? When you Google skunk, that's me. That's not that smelly animal. Skunk? That's a smelly man. Skunk banana? What would be your catchphrase? If you're DJ skunk, it's just the noise?

Skunks aren't farting. They're misting. No, they're fart. That's definitely a fart. You've got to classify that as a fart. That's a sweet aromatic mist. Do skunks fart? Did you just Google that?

I did Google that. And the first thing that it tells me is birds do not fart. Okay, thanks, Google. Oh, wait. There's a website. Does it fart? Oh, you could just like ask it? Yes.

Skunks. Does it fart? Yes. I mean, sloths. Well, we're not questioning whether the animal can fart. I believe all animals with- Birds do not fart. With butts.

Do birds have butts? Do birds poop? I would imagine they have a butt. Well, then they must fart they have an anus they're they have a weird pooping process though okay I got a skunk question so we have we've talked about on this podcast

everybody everybody got a skunk question like if you really admit it everyone is a little bit fascinated and enamored with their own brand oh yeah like when you squeak one out you're like yeah you're like it's interesting oh that's that's bad but right i sort of like it because that came that's me i right i created this does a skunk like it when

they blast someone in the face do they get high on their own supply exactly does the skunk enjoy the scent of their own spray of course they do i mean of course they do they recognize that it's harsh game recognized game yes game recognized game over here i can tell you as the person that's going to take over the search engine optimization of my word skunk i can tell you that they enjoy it this is a superpower i mean you're telling me you have a superpower and you're gonna be like i don't even like my soup no you're gonna be like check this out that's what you're known for what is the skunk without the smell yeah a raccoon or something yeah

it's how committed are you to this i am not that committed because big skunk.com is available for $2,800. All right. At first I was like, well, maybe I'll make a go fund me for that. Maybe you could spell it. S K U N Q U E. But then you wouldn't be able to take over the search engine. You got to be skunk just as it sounds.

Pitbull didn't change it. No, he did not. Also looking through the massive list of animals, whether they fart or not. Yeah. It's basically birds. Don't fart. I fart like going through and everyone that's a no is like parrot no like but yeah exactly everything

else i mean i've got some parrot no wren no eagle no yeah like a blue whale uh it's a blue whale rip them off let me see see. Imagine the bubbles. I mean, you would see that coming from a mile away. Yes. Blue whales do fart. We did it. Okay, we are moving on. Regrettably. Si vous faites vos achats tout en travaillant, en mangeant,

ou même en écoutant ce balado, alors vous connaissez et aimez l'excitation du magasinage. Mais avez-vous ce frisson d'obtenir le meilleur deal? Les membres de Rakuten, eux, oui. Ils magasinent les marques qu'ils aiment et font d'importantes économies, en plus des remises en argent. Et vous pouvez aussi commencer à gagner des remises en argent dans vos magasins préférés, comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia,

et même cumuler les ventes et les remises en argent. C'est facile à utiliser et vous obtenez vos remises par PayPal ou par chèque. L'idée est simple, les magasins paient Rakuten pour leur envoyer des gens magasinés, et Rakuten partage l'argent avec vous sous forme de remise. Téléchargez l'application gratuite Rakuten et ne manquez jamais un bon deal. Ou allez sur rakuten.ca pour en avoir plus pour votre argent. C'est R-A-K-U-T-E-N. C'est ça la nouvelle chanson de pitbull?

Quelle est la différence entre un ami, un ami et un compagnon? Is that the new pit bull song? What is the difference between an acquaintance, a friend, and a companion? Well, this seems like an easy one. It does seem like that. I'm a little... People don't know the difference? No, I'm not sure about the last one, a companion. I think you... Because I feel like that might be broader than...

Go on. I feel like a companion means you than i'm then go on i feel like a companion means you're in a relationship yeah you're there's there's there's love here there's love okay let me ask it this way frodo and sam were they companions yes okay i didn't watch behind the scenes i don't well i mean no no companion doesn't have to be romantic no not at all that's what i was saying that's my point it can a companion acts but it doesn't have to be romantic. No, not at all. Oh, that's what I was saying. That's my point. It can. A companion can have a romantic aspect to it. All three of us are companions. Yes, we are on an adventure of podcasting.

So does that mean a companion is more than a friend? Yes. Really? Yeah, a companion is like a super best friend. Oh. Because you are together so much. Now, this is 100% cheating the entire purpose of the game. Did you Google it?

But I did Google the word companion because I wanted to see the descriptor. A person or animal with whom one spends a lot of time or with whom one travels. So the caveat of traveling with someone, which I know Googling was not at all supposed to be part of this. But so is everyone on. We make rules hold on hold on because everyone on the airplane are we all companions for a short while maybe you're traveling no no because you don't know them you have to know them yeah and i don't make a practice of traveling with them i traveled once with them on accident sure but a dog is a loyal companion yeah i feel like the the the number of times does not matter i could go for the first time with a friend and they are now my companion

only if you travel more than 12 hours 12 is that the limit i was gonna go like six if you go on a single hike for 45 minutes or something are they your companion hike is not really traveling no it is not yeah but i mean i'm just thinking back to the Lord of the Rings thing. I mean, they couldn't take a plane. They didn't call that a hike. I mean, to Mordor? A hike to Mordor? That being said, it was a hike. Like, I've never thought of it like that. Yeah, when they get to the mountain.

But before that, it's not a hike. You can't hike on, like, flat ground. They do the Appalachian Trail. That's a hike, right? They? The Lord of the Rings. They, not me, but they. The Lord of the Rings was just a hike. I have never realized that because it's exercise propaganda. It's ridiculous.

Get out there and stay healthy. An acquaintance is what as compared to a friend? Someone you know that you don't like. That you don't like? Absolutely. If you like them, they're a friend. No. Yeah. You can have an acquaintance and like. That you don't like? Absolutely. If you like them, they're a friend. No. Yeah.

You can have an acquaintance and like them. Okay. Let me put it. Apparently, this is more difficult than we thought. If you go to a restaurant frequently and you see a host or hostess frequently, they're not your friend. Are they your acquaintance? Do you like them?

If you ran into that host or hostess in a target later on you'd say hi right you wouldn't ignore the presence of this person you're familiar with if i liked that person i i go there every week i i like that person let's name that sheila sheila of course okay i like sheila i go there and i she knows who i am i know who she is we we chat every time I'm there and you know her name that's a friend really that's a friend well you're too loosey goosey with your friendships no if I go there and I

talk to Sheila every time she's so rude I just I know who she is I don't really like her that's an acquaintance that's an enemy well sure but you keep your enemies close you've just got thousands upon thousands of friends. Enemies. All over the place.

I don't like any of you. Acquaintances, then. Yes, so many acquaintances. So, yeah, a friend is someone that you don't travel with, but you like. And you hang out. And a friend can be a companion at the same time. Yes. But an acquaintance can't be a friend or companion.

So, companion. companion at the same time yes but an acquaintance can't be a friend or companion so companion well no what i an acquaintance can be a companion if you're on the same airplane that's true that is true that's only if you're sitting next to them if they're sitting in another part of the plane you got to be side by side with the friend that's a or what about what about the aisle that's fine it's got to be you got to be able to talk to them. Yeah. If you can talk. Okay so we're talking to one train car. A one row buffer. And you better be talking at least a little bit about the travel. Oh yes.

Because otherwise they're not really traveling with you. Well what else are you going to talk to us? Nice wings. This plane has. You aren't going to talk to someone you hate about anything but the travel. Yeah. If you're on an airplane. Maybe the weather. That's true. But then the weather will be related because it's like, oh, I hope we have good weather for this travel we're about to take.

Companion. Pretty smooth landing. Also, we need to start using that word more. Companion? Absolutely. I don't think I've used it in my life. Clearly. You didn't know what it meant.

Well, that's why we are digging deep here for me and for the people. And to our next, what's the difference? What's the difference between a cloth, a rag, and a towel? Which, look, this is more important than you think because if you spill something and you say, hand me a rag, I have an expectation in my head of what I'm getting. I know exactly. And it better absorb. I know the difference for sure for me between uh i mean everyone knows what

a towel is right i mean this is like a towel yeah although there is a size there's got to be a threshold here between rag and towel because i've seen people they got dish towels they call them dish towels they're not much bigger than a rag no that's a dish rag but a towel they're just calling it wrong a towel can become a rag it just for me a rag is about purpose well let's talk about the rag versus cloth okay because to me cloth can become a rag i would never if there is um i can't go back a rag can never become a cloth again never a cloth doesn't absorb jack squat oh it's it's a matter of it's a shirt when there's something gross to clean up if there is something gross to clean up you're never using a cloth

a cloth is nice no yeah a rag is made to clean up what's a cloth for a cloth so many things oh really tell me make clothing well no no no no uh clean your face. Independent cloth. I'm not cleaning my face with a rag. A rag is nasty. A rag is dirty. Yeah, you would use a towel. Well, to dry my face, but I'm going to use a cloth. Yeah, but what do you wash your face with? A washcloth.

Yeah. Oh, a cloth. A cloth. Yes, thank you. A cloth, if you're talking about- Well, I'll be darned. If you're talking about not sewing onto clothing, a cloth is for cleaning things that are okay. A rag is for cleaning things that are not okay.

Oh, like you spill some cereal on the ground. If it's milk, I'm not putting that in my nice cloth. Right. I'm getting a rag. I'm going to make sure I wash that out. There's oil on the ground. I'm not getting a cloth. I'm getting a rag. It's dirty.

A rag's dirty. And a towel isn't just for an emergency. You don't have a cloth or a rag. You use a towel. A towel for me is usually for a shower. That's my most common towel. Or the pool. Or the pool. A towel is just a larger absorbent. I need help here.

And then it turns into a rag if you use it on juice. So let's say you're in a pickle. On juice? Yeah. I'm going to go right there. If you have a good towel and there's cranberry juice all over the floor and you use your towel, that towel is now a rag. Okay, I guess I just would never use

a towel with clean juice. What if you had to? Yes, that's what we're talking about. Here's the situation. Let's say you use a bath towel, your bath towel. Somebody spilled some juice. I know. I'm so upset right now.

I know. I have really bad thoughts. Now, technically, shouldn't you just be able to wash that item and it be restored good as new? But in your head, you don't think it's good as new. I mean, think stain, brother. No, but without the stain. Without the stain, you just get like nasty next year. Like if you soaked up

a bunch of spilled Coca-Cola, that's probably not staining. It could. That would stain. Okay, Sprite. If the stain, if there's no stain once you wash the towel. It's a black towel, guys, alright? It does, it comes, it turns back into a towel because you're going to forget.

You have forgotten. But if you remember that you used it to clean up the Sprite. So if you soaked up some milk, a black towel, you soak up some milk. Is that thing getting thrown in the garbage? No. Or you wash it? You wash it. And maybe it's a towel.

Maybe it's a rag. I don't know. From that point on? Yeah. You got to wait and see what comes out of the dryer. For me, it's going in the garbage if I clean up milk. Oh, God. I'm not putting milk in my washing machine. No, I got to wait and see what comes out of the dryer. For me, it's going in the garbage if I clean up milk. Oh, God. I'm not putting milk in my washing machine.

Now, Andy, you mentioned something that was a hot button in the Wright household for a long time. Okay. So upon the dishwasher, you know, you got the handle, and that's where you hang a towel or the dish towel. But it's often like you wash your hands. Yes. You dry your hand on this towel. Yeah, I don't like that, but go on. You don't like to have a towel to dry your hands? Go on.

It's a little messy. It's a little gross for me. Cross-contamination. You like paper towels. I prefer them because of cleanliness. I'm concerned about five people, three kids. Okay, sure. Anyway, go on.

Learned about five people, three kids. Okay, sure. Anyway, go on. But the point of me bringing it up is for so long we had decorative, like they looked very nice, and these sinks, all they did was they would take the water that's on your hands and they would wipe it off directly onto the ground. Because it doesn't absorb. Because the absorption of this material was approximately

0.0 it might as well been plastic it it might as well been a plastic bag just a cloth that's a cloth that is absolutely what are we doing with that just decorative yeah i mean that's decoration people have gotten out of control in that domain people are like we don't need it to absorb why would you make something that has a such of function, such as drying, make it not dry? Why does this exist? Because I think, like, we have those decorative, I know exactly what you're talking about, the decorative towels that have a design. But it was put in a place, not just, this isn't like the decorative pillows.

Yeah, you have a spill. You're grabbing that thing. Exactly. Or you're going to dry your hands. Paper towels, man. I'm trying to respect the earth here, Jason. It's paper. Paper's fine.

Paper? Yeah. No, that's not how it works. That's fine. You recycle paper. Yeah. But probably not with a bunch of milk on it. Yes.

No. Exactly. Because I respect the earth. But we have gotten to the point where, I mean, it took many of a hard fought you got an absorbent one oh and they are i don't know what material this thing is but it's made out of magic because everything because you just just lightly caress the saw of your hands instantly dry so you swung the pendulum all the way to like and you use it after showers and they're decorative like they look nice yeah these so it exists ladies and gentlemen out there there

are towels that look good and actually dry so stop buying that bull crap oh wow that doesn't dry and mike's affiliate code's in the show description so i would give it but i don't even know what these towels are all right what is uh the difference between sick, ill, and under the weather? Well, under the weather is a lie. That's exactly where I was going. Yeah. I mean, look, when you're under the weather, that's what you say when you're trying to get out of something. Oh, we're feeling under the weather.

I can't come to that event. I'm so sorry. Now, wait a minute. Oh, yeah. So that means you're saying that if you're under the weather, you are healthy. You're healthy enough, absolutely. You could go there. You could go.

But I got a little sniffle. Here's the problem. I'm protecting you because I'm under the weather. There's only one. Now, I get it. It's a great excuse. It sounds awesome. And it doesn't invite questions very often, right?

You say you're sick. What are you sick with? You say I'm under the weather. They're like, oh, dang it. He doesn't invite questions very often, right? You say you're sick. What are you sick with? Yeah. You say I'm under the weather. Like, oh, dang it. He doesn't have to come. I understand you don't want to be here. But if you have a stomach, let's say you had some bad Chipotle.

We bring it back to a normal part of your life, Mike. You have some Chipotle. Now, you're not sick. You're not ill. Could you be under the weather from it let's say you feel like you have a bad stomach ache from chipotle are you under the weather i i don't think so yeah i don't because but it prohibits you from playing pickleball in the morning sure but if it makes you miss something you wouldn't describe that as being under the weather what would you say

stomach ache i got the poops i mean i would i would get the crap i wouldn't use you wouldn't describe that as being under the weather. What would you say? Stomachache? I got the poops. I mean, I would. I got the cramps. I wouldn't use any of these words. You wouldn't say I'm feeling a little under the weather. I'm not going to be there this morning. No, you would. To describe your. You would say I ate Chipotle last night and everyone understands.

Enough said. I can't make it. Need more hours. Okay. All right. So under the weather is a lie. Ill to me. And obviously there's two meanings here.

One means awesome, right? Like, oh, man. You know, when something's ill. Well, something could be sick and also be great. Yeah, man, that's sick. But taking the medical terminology here, ill means you're throwing up. Oh, really? Absolutely.

I was going bedridden. You got to be in bed. To me, I don't think I've said that I got ill unless I threw up. I don't know about that. That's the quintessential. For you. For me. And what I've found is I'm right.

He's very ill. If somebody said they're very ill, I would think they're in bed sick. Throwing up. No, not throwing up. They've already thrown up. I don't know that you have to get to the vomit point, but I think it has to be tummy related. Really?

Because when I overeat, I don't say I feel sick. I go, oh, I feel ill. Really? That's the verbiage that comes out of my mouth. They missed a week. They were very ill. You think they're throwing up? At least there was the fear of it.

There was nausea. Nausea doesn't always mean vomiting. Are you on the tummy train too there, producers? Do you think ill means tummy or do you think a bedridden? No, I think more of bedridden, serious. More serious. Maybe critical. Yeah, shut up.

Yeah. Shut your mouth. I see. It's critical. The judge also nodding. Is that how you think of it? Yeah, usually. Excellent.

I don't know. I mean, agree to disagree. If you got ill, then I think of throwing up. If you've been ill, I think you're very serious. You're saying you've never thrown up when you were sick? Who are you talking to? Jason. Yeah, but I was ill.

Yeah, but I got sick. But we're trying to figure out the difference between sick and ill. Yeah, and I told it to you, and then you're like, no, that's not it. That's not it. Sick is short term. Ill is long term. That's how I think of it. That's fair.

I've been sick. I've been ill. Whatever. Ooh, ill. Ill is worse than. What hospital are they at? Ill is worse than sick. Like if you're going to order these, it's under the weather, sick, ill.

Because, you know, when you have an illness, that sounds so much... Like, if you're sick... Yeah. Like, if you get a cold, a common cold, that's just... Yeah, you're sick. I was sick. Like, it's not something that you're battling. We should have put...

Yeah. I mean, you're not usually going to the doctor when you get sick. You know what I mean? Like, it's just... To me, it's just a- You have to get to the point where you say, I have an illness, not I have a sickness. Exactly. And then once it's over and you're completely fine, but you still don't want to go to the party, you're just a little under the weather. Yeah, because the tummy tummy thing if i get

off a if i get off a roller coaster i say hey i got sick that made me sick that made me sick that is a good point because that is a very common use and you get and you get motion sick oh you don't get motion ill motion illness illness? No, you don't. No. Okay. I think we've been refuted. Hey, a true man can... We're humble. We're not braggarts.

We can admit, yeah. I, too, am exceptionally humble. Hey, do we have time for one more or do we want to move on to the draft? Let's draft. Shop with Rakuten and you'll get it. What's it? It's the best deal.

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Do you want to apologize to Al after all the mean things you said and then eventually gave in to totally his opinion? I would absolutely not like to apologize. It was actually your opinion, Andy. Yeah, thank you. Oh, thank you. I would like to apologize to you, Andy. That's a good point, actually.

Andy, I'm sorry that I had said things that were wrong, and thank you for your wisdom in helping me see the light. I guess Al was just copying me. It's just me. I just like to copy people. I was going to say that too. He's one of those guys. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. I was on his side for so

short a period of time right there. We are drafting animals that would be a problem if they were larger. We are omitting insects, which that would be a problem if they were larger. Okay? We are omitting insects, which all would be a problem if they were larger. Hornets, wasps, mosquitoes. Yeah.

And ants lifting 5,000 times their body weight. However, we are drafting animals. That would be a problem if they were larger. And I thought this one was very interesting to think about. Yes. Because some animals, if they were just, if they were bigger, I think it would have vast impacts on the, on the earth. So Mike, you get to pick first. Let's see which direction you went. Yeah. So when I was thinking of it, you're like, I mean, there's all the big, scary animals, make them bigger problem Problem. Bigger problem. But for the most part, at least where we live, you could avoid those animals.

The bears are in the woods. They're in the woods. I'll just not go in those parts of the woods, and I will avoid the gigantic bear. All the big animals. But still a very good pick. They're in the zoo. Right.

I've never seen a wild elephant but if they were way bigger house cats would be a big problem number one i mean we don't like house cats number two the allergens that would be floating around floating around not just a house it would no longer be contained. Hashtag nasal spray. I mean, this would be a problem universally. Oh, dander would roam across neighborhoods. It would take over. We would need a dander index. You know, we track pollen and air quality.

It would just be part of the air. What's the dander like today? Those darn cats are at it again. Cats suck, too. And they're mean. You just drafted house lions. That's what you just drafted. Yes, but they're like walking around on your fence, staring at you, judging you.

I mean, imagine your curtains. Knocking your stuff over. Imagine your curtains and your couch when a giant house cat gets a hold of it. And I'm pretty sure cats sit around thinking, if I were just bigger, what I'd do to this human I hate. Okay, go to the house cats planet of the apes should really have been planet of the giant cats because they are monsters cats was on my list for sure um I hate cats imagine if the musical was bigger um Jason you've got a pick all right um I am and I'm going to go with one of the last things I added to my list.

That's an interesting strategy. Well, I found it late, and I realized that even though there's a bunch of these small little mean rapscallion animals that would be a real problem if they got bigger, this one would be terrifying because of of in my opinion uh pterodactyls i'm going with a great horned owl okay if you take owls are they're very large vicious predators they're very large they're very wise though but yeah that's true imagine how smart some of them if you had giant i mean basically imagine that there's pterodactyls today. Yeah, no, it's terrible. A huge flying monstrous hawk in the sky that could. So you didn't go with hawks getting bigger.

You went with an animal that might appear like a big hawk. Well, the thing is, I'm saying they are getting to the size of a pterodactyl, and they are freaky looking. You don't think that head's going to get too big and it'll just plummet? I think that. They're actually not. They're real poofy. It's poofy.

Yeah, the body size. Oh, have you ever seen the shaved owls? Yeah, I've seen the baby ones. Yeah, that's, yeah. Yeah, there's the baby owls that look like aliens. That is. Yeah. I'll look it up. I'm impressed.

I didn't have great horned owl on my list. Oh my word, I Googled it. Holy moly. Oh my gosh, spit wads. Google hairless owls. They are terrifying. They're standing on their legs. Their eyes are so big.

They look like aliens. Would they be proportionally wiser if they're bigger? I mean, the brain is bigger. Would they run the world? Would you go and talk to the Greyhorn Elves for advice and wisdom like Mr. Rogers? I don't think they would be willing to hear you. Oh, they just eat you. I think they would eat you.

Okay. And not fart. Oh, good point, Mike. I have two picks. Yes, you do. My first one, I know it's a big animal, but if it's bigger, it's a real issue. Sure. And that is sharks.

Okay. Because if a shark, you scale them up, you no longer have a certain boat size that's permitted in the world. Because they'll just eat you. They'll eat the boat size that's permitted in the world because they'll just eat you they'll eat the boat like the only thing stopping them from eating the boat right now they're not big enough to eat a boat yeah the the people that make battleships will be really excited because they because sales of battleships will go through the roof yeah you're you're sailing you've got anything small a schooner get rid of that you got a dinghy yeah you're in trouble anymore so i'm gonna go to sharks which seems like maybe low-hanging ocean fruit.

But my second one is a little bit more inventive and creative. Okay. And this is an animal that if it were much larger, I think would be a walking forest bomb. Oh, a forest bomb. Because if it strolled into your camp and it was much bigger, it may clear it out, and that's a porcupine. Oh, yeah. It was on my list. A gigantic porcupine.

It sends those javelins now flying through camp. It's no longer a quill. I feel like that would be part of your normal news, like local hikers strolling through forests were exploded. Yeah, you're now impaled by a porcupine. They'll find you up on trees. It's the fourth porcupine attack this week. That's right.

Now, can porcupines shoot that? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I don't know how far, but they can projectile. They get with it. That is awful. So, yeah, we'll go with that. The walking bomb, a giant porcupine all right um i am back up

this is the great horned owl doesn't have horns though right it does it looks like it does uh they're not actual horns are they i believe i believe that is correct no i i believe it but it looks like there are like two horns i don't think they're actual so you said yes and no at the same time look look i said they don't actually have horns. And you go, yes, they do. They're not actually horns. Okay. Which one?

Oh, no. It's just they're. I got bad news. It's just floof, isn't it? The porcupines apparently cannot shoot their quills. That's just a. They can't even shoot them an inch. Wives tail.

Yeah. Been lied to my whole life about what the cupines can do. Well, it's I was talking about the Al Horn thing. Really? Thank you, Mike, for interjecting. Sorry. It seemed very important to correct. It would still be a problem. We'll move on. Jason, you have another pick. All right. So when you look at the most dangerous animals in the world, All right, so when you look at the most dangerous animals in the world. In the world. In all of the world.

In all of the planets. You get. Really a scourge of Venus. Please draft another species of owl. Yeah. There are a couple owls I want to talk about right now. The small horned owl. Just like an eagle. The big killers are obviously already large.

Yes. Moose, hippos. These are vicious animals that- We avoid them now because of size. Yes, they can kill easily because they're so big. But they are not the baddest animal in the world. A hippo is a big, fat lump of blubber. You know what I mean?

A moose has to be dumb. It just looks so stupid. They're roid-raged. Absolutely. Oh, yeah, they do seem a little too muscular. They're juicing up in the forest. The baddest. They're just deer that have shot up.

Yes, exactly. The baddest animal on the face of the planet that don't care is the honey badger. The honey badger doesn't care about you. Oh, the honey badger doesn't care about me as in is not afraid of me. A honey badger will attack anything under any circumstance, is vicious, is one of the world's greatest predators. I saw where it was attacking this poisonous snake it just went after it got poisoned poisoned to death basically died then was like powered through

that got up and ate the rest of that snake and moved on now i have a theory on honey badgers though that might concern you you're you're gonna bring up the small man complex yes i was wondering if they're so ornery just because they ain't big and once they get big they'd be that might concern you. You're going to bring up the small man complex. Yes. I was wondering if they're so ornery just because they ain't big. And once they get big, they'd be lazy and like, yeah. It's already bred into them. I do care. It's already bred. It's not, you know.

You're just scaling up the small man complex. And so a giant, a hippo-sized honey badger? Yeah, that'd be a real issue. It's just going to go around killing everything. And so a giant, a hippo sized honey badger. Yeah. That'd be a real issue. It's just going to go around killing everything. So I have a question for Jason. Are those in the United States? The honey badger?

Yeah. I do not know. A question for Jason. What is it like having small man complex? Do you have the same qualities? I don't. Do you care? I don't.

I don't care at all. I don't have small man complex. I don't care. You can't tell me i'm small because what i've done with my weight is i've gotten rid of small if i was okay if i was short interesting and skinny then i've got real small man complex so do you relate more to the hippo or the honey badger i feel like if you married those two and you really bred them together that would be more who i am all right so you're going with the honey but if i can only pick one it would be hippo okay mike two picks for mike he's got the house cat it's been scaled up it's a problem and it doesn't like you and you've got two more selections. All right. This next one, this would be a problem.

Number one, their numbers are outrated. They're plentiful. Oh, no. They are everywhere. They are bringers of disease. Oh, no. And now imagine if they were actually larger. I mean, there's a couple of these.

I know there are. That's what I'm worried about. I'm going with rats. Yeah. Yeah. If you took, I mean, we've seen it rodents of unusual sizes in uh in princess bride it's a big problem and that's just one of them but if you take the amount of rats we like go to new york city it's a lot of rats i mean what they breed millions of rats just roaming in the sewers if

they were bigger now your sewers are clogged immediately as soon as this happens you can't even flush your toilet now you couldn't the reason i didn't put on my list is because i was a little like part of what makes rats awful is they hide in your walls and i do like the mental visual picture of a big rat still trying to hide in the wall but it's like it's tails poking out or his belly it's pushing the drywall out scooting's just scooting along. But rats, I mean, they breed. There's so many of them. They'd probably take over. Do you know how high shotgun sales would go if rats... Oh, yeah.

I mean, I would have one. I would not be home... We'd all be holding them. They'd be on us all the time. Absolutely. That would be awful because when I'm talking about the honey badger, I'm thinking of one. But when you scale up the species, this is now their home.

This is their world. All right, Mike. Good pick. And then for my other one, look, rats on the ground, rats in the air. I mean, I'm going with pigeons. No, that's my freaking next pick. Because pigeons are awful. They'd render entire neighborhoods unlivable. You couldn't see through your car windshield anymore.

The amount of poop that would just be everywhere. I need to find new picks. I can't believe you had pigeons. Well, that means I've got to go with the flying rat. Pigeons are awful. They're rude. They never go away. They just keep coming back no matter how many

treatments you put on your roof. And like we, I had, there was, we had a pit. They're homing. I mean, they, they don't leave their home until they die. We had a pigeon problem and I'm talking like the, the side of my yard where they would hang out, you could clean this, the cement off. And then two days later you would, there would be no cement left because it would just be bird crap. And add in the disease that they're also carrying, they're obnoxious. And they're dumb. They're so dumb.

They just get in the way. They're the dumbest. Imagine a bird that big just being dumb, standing in the road, waiting until the last second to fly away. But it can't because it's too big. I've got a very brief pigeon story I will share, which is basically you talk to pest people. They have to go in the middle of the night,

and they have to shoot the pigeons because the pigeons, no matter what you do, you take them, you drop them off across the country. They're going to come back to that same area. The only way to get rid of pigeons is to kill the pigeon. And I've got a story. Man, I got so tired of this pigeon i had new kids right brand new babies little little kids and they the poop that was on my driveway was just disgusting we know this so finally i go out with my little pellet gun and i'm gonna get

this pigeon i turn into a maniac i'm running through the neighborhood with a pellet gun, chasing a half-shot pigeon. This seems like... It was a bad idea. I'm not recommending this. It was a loss of judgment. But my goodness, pigeons, they can get you. Get you angry. They literally ruin roofs with their poop.

Their poop is so acidic that it will literally make a hole in your roof. That's... Now it's a real problem. All right. So I'm I'm back up on the clock here now. So I've got to I've got to ask this question to me. I consider this a gigantic animal. You guys might not. Is a tarantula an insect because. Yeah, it's an arachnid. OK, OK. I just can'tid. You can't draft it. I couldn't, and I assumed so, but I couldn't allow myself to go through this draft without at least asking the question

because if it would be allowed, that's a problem. Yeah, it's a big, big problem. It's a big, big problem for me. Okay, so I'm going to go close to home here. I'm going to go with an awful beast of the desert. One of the most... Camel? Yes, one of... Now. One of the most. Yes.

Now try to get on it. Look how high up that is. No. Very poisonous. Has one of the strongest bites of anything. It's called a monster for a reason. Yeah. Taking a Gila monster.

Yes. And if you're not familiar with a Gila monster, because you don't live in the desert, they're bad, bad, bad news. They, at least what I was always told growing up is if a Gila monster bites you, like you're, there's not a whole lot you can do to get it to let go like the jaws are so powerful that you're gonna need like a knife or something to to protect yourself with because your your hands you will not be able to get the animal off that's what i've always heard too is like you basically it must be true yeah if we both heard it just like porcupines shooting their quills super true it's a walking bomb that was my whole premise well i mean if you smash it they they're going to go flying, right? Yeah.

Yeah, they are. Okay, so you have a great horned owl, a honey badger, and a Gila monster. Mike has a house cat, a rat, and a pigeon. I hate you, Mike, because I really, really wanted pigeons. I have a shark and a porcupine so far. Porcupines, also known as walking bombs. shark and a porcupine so far you know porcupines also known as walking bombs um my first pick here look if there's one thing i really hate about any insects or creatures is unpredictability and movement like like bees like bees or or moths spiders can go in any direction look if you're

a problem i want to know where you're going is a problem. This animal is kind of haunting already with its movement. But if you scale this bad dog up with its ability to find what it needs to find, and there's vampire versions of it. Oh, it's on my list. I'm going with bats. Yes. A giant bat? Now, that's a pterodactyl.

That's a problem. That is such a better pick than an owl. Good pick. Good pick. So I think, and they're in groups. There's tons of them. And you know what's crazy? They don't hang out alone.

Is like, if you really, really look at a bat, like the wings are the scary part. The rest of the bat, it's a cute little creature. I know. They look like they're real snuggly, and then you zoom out, and you see the wings and the claws. Like, oh, that's a terrifying creature. Jason's not even afraid of legless spiders.

I am not. I don't think I would be. No, so I'm going to go with bats. A bunch of bats is a big problem. And, you know, this last pick, it's really up in the air for me. I did. I thought about going with bears. They're on my list.

Because you don't live in the forest. It's over. Like, if bears get into cabins and and stuff and they mess around with the garbage, but they can't break in the front door very easily. I mean, sometimes they do. But you scale that up, it's over. People just don't live in forests. But then they're probably coming into the cities, and that's an issue too.

So can I pick an animal that would be delightful if it was large? Oh, sure. This is your world. Can I pivot the final one? Sure. Pick what you want. Unicorns. I'm just going to ruin my draft here. I'm going to have giant seahorses.

We're riding this thing. We're riding them through the ocean. We're cruising. It would be a problem for dolphins. Yeah, we're saddling these bad dogs up. Our love would go down for dolphins. Are we really interested in dolphins if there's a giant seahorse that you can ride around?

No flipping way do I care about dolphins if there are awesome seahorses. Saddle up. Saddle up and think about it. Saddle up your seahorses. The Sea-Doo market, it's gone. You just get a real seahorseorse saddle it up. It's a problem for your business. It's a problem for businesses that sell jet skis. We're going with seahorses.

Final answer. All right. I like it. So I've got a couple here left on my list. Some mean spirited animals that I would not want. I could be an ocean sheriff on a seahorse. Oh, yeah. You could. With this mustache. It's an ocean mustache. But I guess I think to myself, we've got a long history here on the Spitballers of talking about dangerous animals.

What are probably the most dangerous animals that have ever existed. And I know for a fact, based on my research, that the number one most worrisome animal is a boar. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this has been a scientific fact proven on the spitballers. I just can't believe this got to the fourth pick. But the boars would be a massive problem.

The hard part for your argument, and look, I won't take it away from you, that, yeah, boars are very dangerous. But you have also concluded on this podcast you simply need a spear. Well, but now imagine how long the spear has to be. I mean, if this boar is that big you're gonna need like 20 foot spear that's just not common i mean where are you in the 20 foot spear you're gonna whittle that yeah possible all right so big i had boars on my list there you go so i mean clearly that would be a massive problem and they go in packs so yeah i don't think they're

very rational creatures i think they just kind of run watch out. I don't think they're very rational creatures. I think they just kind of run at you. I think they have really bad vision. We know that. Al hit a whole bunch of boars on a road one time. I hit them. Okay, I was trying to help you out.

Yeah, they were crossing the street right in front of me. You said, take this. Is a boar a habit? Do you have spears right in front of me. You said, take this. Is a boar a half-an-eater? Do you have spears on the front of your car? For that purpose? Do you drive a Mad Max mobile? All right, so I'm up. I mean, I kind of just left this here because it's not as entertaining to me

as the idea of gigantic rats or pigeons. But I mean, a good old-fashioned rattlesnake. Yeah. You size that thing up to the size of an anaconda, where you've got to worry about other things, not just squeezing. It can bite you. Well, I was thinking, like right now, a rattlesnake, it darts a certain distance where it can get you.

It's very far, though. Like when they're coiled up, their striking distance is shockingly far. So then a giant wand can get you even further. Yes. But it can't hide in the bushes as easily. No. And it'll be so loud, too. Oh, my gosh.

So loud. Oh, it's like a helicopter. That's true. I didn't think about it. The rattlesnake, they might do damage to you just with the reverberations. Yes. No! Okay. That's good good it would be terrifying if you've ever run into a rattlesnake it's a little intimidating have either of you ran into a

rattlesnake in the wild yeah oh my gosh i'm happy you're still with us i was out on a jog at night once and just sounds awful well i mean it was because you're jogging right night but and that's what frodo and sam did it was a jog you're like i mean it was because you're jogging right night but and that's what frodo and sam did it was a jog you're like i mean you're not looking for snakes but then you saw one in the road oh yeah it like coiled up rattle up and i'm like oh just slowly backing away how close did you get i was in strike distance wow wow you must have the AirPods in. Yes, I did. And they weren't playing no rattles. I wasn't listening for rattlers. I was on a hike.

And fortunately, when you're on a hike and it gets identified, everybody kind of takes a different path around the area where it was. Yeah. Jeremy. Jeremy cut one in half with his mountain bike? Yeah, I was mountain biking at night, and I couldn't see very far in front of me. I was using lights, but it was too late to try and go around it, so I went right over it. Your vehicles are monsters.

You just kill things with your vehicles. You kill boars. You kill rattlesnakes. You're welcome. Other honorable mention items that I had on my list, I mentioned the bears, but I wasn't sure what giant jellyfish would be all about. It seemed like they already exist. Yeah.

It seemed like that'd be a problem. Gorillas. I mean, yeah, I had baboons cause I mean, you're going to throw Kong. We've seen that. If you're going to throw poop. I mean, that's a, that's a real problem. It's a big old turd. If you're bigger, this one, this is not allowed because it's an insect, but a scorpion?

They're just literally a machine that's made for killing. They're not that fast, though, are they? They would be faster. Well, definitely. And then the last one on my list was a hummingbird. Oh, my gosh, that's such a good pick. If it could still move the way that a hummingbird can move. Have they ever hurt anything ever?

No. Has a hummingbird ever hurt anyone? No, they are very gentle creatures. But they eat three times their body weight every day. So, I mean, your crop's getting annihilated. Interesting. Well, if they're that size, the accidental hurting of humans would happen. You'd see them buzzing around and there'd be a person sticking off the end of their...

They'd be flying with the person. Yeah, because don't they have basically like a... Yes. Like a swordfish face. A swordfish face. Yeah. As they say. All right, we are done with the draft.

Seahorse, I think, was the right pick, though. Oh, though. Oh, sure. What did we learn today? I learned that you can have vomit when you're just sick and not ill. Sure. I learned that there are decorative dish towels that can absorb things. Thank you, Mike.

And I've learned that Pitbull is gigantic, and I still can't name any of his music. A little gasoline. That is it for today's Spitballers podcast. Thank you for subscribing on Spotify, following on Apple, supporting the show. On apples. Eating apples. We'll see you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. C'est ça. Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada en plus des remises en argent. Et vous pouvez aussi commencer à gagner des remises en argent dans vos magasins préférés comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia

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