Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 204: Ferret Bowling & The Best Fruits - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: August 1, 2022

On this episode, we talk about killing hamsters, magic carpet rides, and magnetic underpants. Sounds pretty par for the Spitballers course to be honest. We also misspell some elementary level words and draft our favorite fruits. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. oh boy you know wait you pushed the mic away he felt content with your your face he's done this is the moment of relief so that was the i'll be back next show i'm i'm out of here that was the one that was it that was perfection uh well i mean huh my what i did what i came away from was weird you know how in some cultures uh they all speak one language but different villages have a maybe like a variant of the language sure sure so i i think we're all trying to speak scat here. Yes.

But then there's like Mike's got his own version of the scat language. Jason has his own, which he wants to get fulfilled in perfection. Obviously, I speak Badingi. So, I mean, I think we all have our own. I mean, it's 204 episodes. There's probably no more words left. No, our dialect is established at this point. Welcome into the spitballers.

Really, really bad English. Questionable whether they're actually scads. Jason, always have a poo-ha. That's one of the native... He finishes in that same timbre of the... Yeah, I don't know how to land what no what happens is what here's my visualization just so you guys know i am paragliding and it's going well the boat has pulled me out and the and the the chute is open behind me i am up in the air like a beautiful kite

and and it is it is just going along wind the hair. My scat is going excellent. Your hair? Well, no, like if I had hair, it would be like, oh, so like, wind in the beard. Wind in the beard. And everything's going great. And then I realize, like, oh, well, this is done now. It's not going to last forever.

I've detached. I don't know how to get down from this paraglide. And he cuts all the strings. I cut the string and fall into the ocean. Did you know that if you just hold on, it will eventually go down? Yeah, the ride ends. But the music stops.

I have to be done. What if I just keep going long after the music is over? It would be a first time. Well, stay tuned for three episodes from now. Would you rather Highway to Spell and Redrafting? Oh, gosh. The best fruits on today's show which that's tremendous because it's delicious the draft yeah well and fruit fruit like it's really really good fruit oh see no you need you got to step back

and just fruit is so before baked goods baked goods existed, fruit was good. Well, sure. I mean, but as far as- What's making your baked goods better over there? Frosting? It's not vegetables. That's for sure. Yeah, you're right.

It's probably fruit. Oh, it's so good. Yeah, and the picks. I mean, the choices. I have a problem already today. Too many fruits. Well, there are a lot of fruit, like i've got the one-on-one and i have a favorite fruit by far but you won't take it because it won't win in the polls no i

don't know if it will or not but i don't i don't think i've ever heard either of you speak too highly of this fruit oh okay like i want to try it yeah you'll be playing the game yeah so we'll see all right uh well it'll be fun. And we'll get into that shortly. Like I said, my favorite segment, Highway to Spell, obviously, on today's show. And you can follow us over on Twitter at SpitballersPod, Jason at JasonFFL, Mike at FFHitman. I'm at Andy Holloway. SpitballersPod.com is the website.

Let's get it going. Holloway, spayballerspie.com is the website. Let's get it going. Would you rather? Sean from Twitter. While house sitting, would you rather kill your friend's plants that they have been growing for years or their pet hamster? So you're house sitting. You're responsible for keeping the pets alive. What kind of question is this?

Yeah, obviously it's the plants. I mean, is it? Okay. I mean, it doesn't matter how many years you've been growing a plant. It's still a plant. Yeah. Like, no one harvests. Although I guess specifically hamsters I would kill. Look, a hamster is very replaceable.

It is very replaceable. That's true. Do you treat it like the goldfish of the land? I see where you're going. Right, you know what I'm saying? If you flush a hamster is what I'm saying. If I had a hamster, it would be devastating if it was consequentially murdered by whoever was taking care of it. But the person who's taking care of my hamster, there is a 65% chance they could run to the pet store,

get a similar hamster, and I may not notice. That's true. That's in the range of outcomes here for a hamster. I once tried to set a hamster free in the wild because I was tired of having it as a pet. So you just tried to kill it slow. That's also killing a hamster. You tried to kill the hamster just a little slower.

We set it out going into the forest because that's where hamsters live. I'm not even joking. Hamsters are from the forest? I don't know why my parents. Did you research this? Of course not. I don't know why my parents permitted this.'s where hamsters live. I'm not even joking. Hamsters are from the forest? I don't know why my parents. Did you research this? Of course not. I don't know why my parents permitted this. Where are hamsters from?

Hamsters are from nowhere. The toilet. But we literally, I set the hamster out. We were so, hamsters, public service announcement, never get a hamster. Hamsters are stupid, dumb creatures. They sleep during the day. They're up at night. They want to break out of their cage.

They won't use their tubes. They'll bite you if you hold them they're evil they'll poop everywhere cleaning their cages suck they are it's like opting into misery so i tried to release one into the wild where they live in the wild and then once i put the i put it down i started to walk away like a moment from a movie like you're letting the you know saying goodbye to the creature that needs to live in the wild and i got about 10 feet walking back to the car and then a bird got it no but i glanced i had better perspective of where i had set it and i glanced back and there were snake holes for miles i mean i was like i was putting it into a snake minefield and so i picked it back up and we donated it oh. Oh, you didn't go like, oh, look at all these hamster holes.

Here, go ahead and write it, fella. But I don't know how we convinced our parents that this was the best solution. That is. Why did they let us do that? Like, that's a kid's scheme that kids pull off, and then when the parents go, where's the hamster? You say, well, we released it. Everybody knows. It's not that they're involved.

What you're supposed to do with the hamster, which is to throw it over the fence into your neighbor's yard well gently drop it make sure it's still okay i heard al back there he was in on that i can't imagine what i would think if i'm let's say i'm out camping and a hamster comes like there's no hamsters in the wild. Just be like, hey, check this out. Look at the little hamster. I mean, he has no way to defend himself whatsoever. No way to get food. I mean, there's no hamsters in the wild. It's a slow death, so don't do that. If you have a problem with your neighbor, this is such a low-key revenge.

Where did these hamsters come from? Think about this. Someone drops a hamster in your backyard. You got to figure out what to do with this hamster. You may have to now take care of this hamster. What if their child comes out? Can we keep this

hamster? Now they got a hamster problem. That was going to be one of the questions I had was, it does matter to me if this family, was it a kid's hamster or was it an adult's hamster? now they got a hamster problem that was going to be one of the questions i had was it does matter to me if this family was it a kid's hamster or was it an adult's hamster there's no adult hamster that's not an option this i mean no adults get hamsters no no adults are too smart to get hamsters that's why the one difficulty in saying okay plants versus hamster what's better to kill no adult would come home and ever, under any circumstance, the plants that they have been growing for years, thank you for killing them.

That would not happen. Right. But there is a situation where you come home and you go, dude, thank you. I've been wanting to do this for years. It's not my fault. Hey, little Timmy, it's Uncle Jack that did it, okay? He's the reason you don't have a hamster anymore.

So we all say, hold on, Al, you should have brought this up. We've talked about it before on the show. Why? Is it an Arizona thing? I don't know. I do it too, but. So we all say hamster with a P? Yeah.

Hamster. Oh, I even spelled it with a P. Wait, it's how I would spell it on today's show? Hamster. Hamster. Oh, I even spelled it with a P. Wait, it's how I would spell it on today's show? Hamster. Hamster. Like hamper. But it's not. There's no P in the word.

No, there's not. It's just like a hunk of ham. Hamster. Hamster should be more delicious. No, I like what you're saying there. And if you were dating somebody and they're like, oh, do you want to see my place? And they had a pet hamster, wouldn that be that's a red flag that's a yeah because hamsters don't live long enough to be like this is the hamster from my childhood

right it's a new hamster we all know it is because they don't live that long or it is the hamster from their childhood and it's just been replaced several times by the parents and they don't know why do hamsters even exist i don't know what like it's the same thing with ferrets ferrets are hamsters but they smell oh oh they're the worst i had a fair growing up oh no we had an aviary you were that kid what's the aviary have to do with the hamster they had to feed it to all the birds no we had like a big walk-in uh but an aviary is a bunch of rodents you put some that's where that's where our our where you kept the uh ferret our fair lived in the fair in an aviary yes it was just like wings

just free to gallivant hold on is an aviary the wrong word yeah i hope so that's a place for birds yeah well i mean you could put any animals a an aviary, right? A large cage and enclosure for keeping birds in. Okay. What is the same enclosure that you put other animals in? Like a rooster paddock? Like a coop? Is it like a terrarium? Hey!

Oh, okay. There we go. Is there a walk-in terrarium? Is that a thing? Samsonite. Samsonite. I was way off. Anyways, we had in our backyard this walk-in

and it was in the backyard and it stunk so bad. The backyard stunk because ferrets are awful. They are also, they scratch

the heck out of you. They'll bite you. They're not nice. There's no redeeming quality of a ferret. There aren't actually any childhood pets that are quality other than dogs. Dogs are the best. All right. I had to do it. So you Google, why do ferrets stink?

Top result here from PetMD. Two buttholes. Ferrets, like other carnivorous animals, have anal glands that secrete a scent particular to their species. And then, quote, their anal glands are very strong smelling scent and territory marking glands. So they stink because they got stank butt. Now, hold on. And people are like, just come on into my home here, stinky butt. And we're talking about this, and we all know that ferrets are stupid.

But then Al jumps in to our slack channel and al you said we had two ferrets and they were dope yeah so what'd you do with the ferrets what made them dope we did you got oh you have the sinus problems you probably never smelled them they stunk but we we like to bowl with them we'd set up cans you would bowl them yeah they loved it you throw a hamster, you'd bowl a ferret? We would roll the ferret across our kitchen floor, knock down cans, and they'd come running back for more. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Was the door behind you? They're trying to escape.

No. I don't think that they enjoyed it. I was making a joke. You can roll a ferret? No, you can't roll a ferret. You can. You cannot. Can you roll a ferret? You can't legally roll a ferret? No, you can't roll a ferret. You can. You cannot. Can you roll a ferret?

You can't legally roll a ferret. That is unbelievable. I don't believe. I think, genuinely, you have a made-up memory. I don't think that this happened in your youth. But, like, you had a dream, and it was a great dream. You woke up one day, and it was so realistic, and you're like, oh, we were bowling our ferrets. And then now you think it really happened.

This did not happen. I can't believe your story. What was that? Sorry, I was watching a video of ferret bowling. Oh, man. No, this is like a new people too? Made by him. Wow.

Ferret bowling. Final answer, I'd rather kill the plants. I think I've changed to hamster. I thought at first like well you know but is this execution or is it just not feeding no it's an accident no I'm not like twisting the hamster's head off I'm just oh no he's not alive today

okay you're welcome well that was a journey that we went on well he seems to have escaped yeah he's crafty I'm watching a ferret bowl Well, he seems to have escaped. Yeah. He's crafty. Yeah. Okay.

I'm watching a ferret bowl. I'm not watching people literally bowl a ferret. It's more likely that a ferret could grab a bowling ball and bowl it down a lane than it is that you could bowl an actual ferret. You could ball it into a ball and roll it like a bowling ball. PETA is on the way. Oh, man. No, they don't care about ferrets. Bryce from Patreon. old stink butt uh would you

rather be the son of the president of the united states no or become close friends of the famous celebrity one of those sounds awesome yeah and one of those genuinely sounds awful because i i think being the son or daughter of the President of the United States that seems neat and novel in theory is that called the first kid? yeah the Bruce Willis movie but it's like

the expectation of every single thing in your life the lack of privacy the scrutiny you go out with the security this is a service for yeah i mean there's what is the redeeming aspect your pops is the president yeah access to everything forever always i mean you you get to write books for for as long as you want

i've always thought that the because you have uh you talk about the son of the president i've also thought about you know the kids of the the queen right and being in the royal family they call those princes and princes right right and to me the only thing that would be redeeming about being a part of the royal family or being part of the like presidential thing is growing up without it and then being granted it you know you find out your great uncle owns you know a countryside he's the dutch princess diaries thank you thank you thank you it's a great document and then you appreciate it but like if you grow up with it if you're five years old when you're when your father's the president and you have to live the rest of your life in that you don't actually know

it as a privilege you only know it as life do you know what i'm saying sure like if you're like the royal family it's awful but i think you eventually recognize your place of privilege i would hope i don't think you you might recognize it intellectually but i don't think from a living life standpoint you never would know what you have better than somebody you can recognize it but you don't realize it you know what's his butt left right yeah one of them one of the old sons one of the princes yeah what's his butt i don't know he left um yeah i mean but he's still got piles of privilege he still gets allowances is he still a prince or once removed formerly once removed prince once removed um plus he's married to Meghan Markle or whatever.

But being close friends of a famous celebrity, I mean, what's the downside there? You're going to go to way more fun events than what the president is going to get you in. And you're not the one getting asked for autographs. Well, I mean, that part sucks. But yes. and and you're not the one getting asked for autographs well i mean that part sucks but yes uh i've i've seen entourage and turtle and company they live a they have a pretty good life

michael mike is 100 movie or tv references on today's show i'm just trying to connect the only way to relate with with us um i i guess i will be close friends with a celebrity. I mean, yes. Owl. You're close friends with a celebrity. Three of them. Yeah. What is it like being close friends with celebrities? Is it pretty cool? It's great.

Yeah. I would take that. He gets access. Yeah. People know the owl. He's not famous. We're famous and people know him. You just said people know the owl.

Yeah. I guess you have a chance of being the president that is true that is definitely true i mean you have higher odds of being the president do you like your last name question is bush no there's a real question would you want that i think i i think i would yeah i think i would do i think i would i don't i don't know to be the the president? Yeah. I mean. I would accept the presidency. I would not run for president.

I think in some ways. But I would accept. I mean. You've seen the photos of first day in, last day out. And you're like, that person is aged 25 years. Yeah. I think you could make a case that if the child of a former president became president, that's better

than somebody that hasn't been i could easily make the opposite case as well well okay let me explain and then you explain your case all right because i was thinking that obviously to become president there's like a million different things you have to do. You've got to raise all this money. You have to contort your – let's just say it. You have to contort your integrity. To finance it. To finance it. You've got to join the Illuminati.

Obviously. But you have to do all those things to become the president. But if you're – I feel like you get advantages as the son of a previous president that maybe you don't have to do as much of that. Yeah, which means there's not as much merit to your qualifications. We've seen it. Oh, no, no. I agree.

But that's my point. There's not as much merit. Oh, okay. I see what you're saying. See, the thing is, is he shouldn't have ever been the president. His dad was just the president. Yeah, we've seen it. I follow you now.

Like, you need merit. But see, do any of the real ones have mayor anyways i believe my point here's here listen up america here we go i believe i've already had the platform i believe that there are in the history of humanity great leaders and there will always be new great leaders. And those people have to stand on their own merit. That's my belief. In a system that does not value merit whatsoever. They will come around once every few generations.

I believe. All right. Well, I hope so. I'm going to choose the celebrity in this case. Oh, yeah. Give me the celebrity. Yeah, that's a good life, man. Now, in our case, I hope so. I'm going to choose the celebrity in this case. Oh, yeah. Give me the celebrity. Yeah, that's a good life, man. Now, in our case, though.

Right. Wouldn't the celebrity be the friend of the celebrity? Yeah, but I'm your guy's friend. Oh, that's right. So we're just choosing our own life. Oh, no. We've been over that. All right.

Let's move on. Les from Patreon. Would you rather have a flying magic carpet with a top speed of 15 miles an hour? Like Aladdin. Yes. Or, thank you, Mike. You didn't catch on that quick. No, it took me a second.

Thank you, Mike, for chiming in and understanding this question. One moment, please. All right. Or a flying broomstick with a top speed of 25 miles an hour, like Harry Potter. What, Hocus Pocus? Okay. Okay, that'll work.'ll work now I understand um so you've got let's talk about the advantages and disadvantages of magic carpet versus a broomstick magic carpet the obvious one safe yes way more safer also higher occupancy yeah you're not really sharing your stick you could fit four you could fit four on broomstick yep yep you can fit four on the on the magic carpet yeah in a

pinch two is comfortable if they're kids you know put the kids in the back at least one significant other yeah or a magic carpet right two is max occupancy on a broomstick for sure two is max occupancy but you that's gonna cut that 25 mile an hour down a little probably and my fear why have you never seen that harry haven't seen what like the people right and like like a riding on a motorcycle you need a bigger broomstick like a double sized i have never until this question i've really never appreciated what harry potter did for broomsticks harry potter okay gave footrests to broomstick yes and so there is a point of balance because if you is that in the book no that is not in the

books that's in the movies uh otherwise i would have credited jk rowling she is not in the books. That's in the movies. Otherwise, I would have credited J.K. Rowling. She did not write the description. She didn't fix the broomsticks. No, she didn't. Okay. Someone else did. Uh-oh. Nerd off. Andy is questioning my Harry Potter knowledge here.

I'm questioning because I think maybe some of the sketches in the early books may have included the foot. I'm not positive. I don't know. I don't know about there's a picture book uh well there's some sketches and did chapter openings and things like that yes that is true and there might have been a picture of one but you're saying a point of balance is the problem with the broomstick well let's get back to whether or not there were uh the the nerd off on the kick the footrests on the broomstick i don't believe in the text there were okay kick, the footrests on a broomstick. I don't believe in the text.

There were, okay, you know, footrests. So it's not canon. But thank you. I think it becomes canon once it's in the movie. Anyways,

continuing on. I have never thought about this, but like, if you're going 25 miles an hour on a broomstick and you don't have those footrests, yeah, hold on for dear life. You're going to be hanging upside down.

Rick, don't turn do not turn you gotta hug that thing and hold tight with your legs and your arms and go on a straight line because one little imbalance and you're hanging upside down you're spinning it seems like you need the broomstick to be made of metal and you need to wear like magnet magnetic underpants. So hold on to it. That's your solution? That's my solution. I don't know if you know this. Because you can't put a saddle on it.

He can't figure out any solution like footrests that we were just talking about. I'm not sure the footrests do enough. Oh, certainly. Aren't the footrests way down by the broom? Yeah, that's where your feet are. You got a balance on your left foot, a balance on your right foot. It's like a tricycle. I'm trying to figure out if these are canon or not.

Yeah, producers, get on that. We've got to figure out if. It's questionable. Sorry, does that mean you'll take the slower cruise? I mean, I imagine on a magic carpet, the carpet's the one that's flying. Absolutely. Whereas on the broomstick, you're in control of it. You can't autopilot that.

The carpet comes with autopilot. You're not napping on a broomstick. Wait, okay, well. It also means they'll probably take the more efficient route because it's a carpet. This is a good question because I know that Aladdin, it's sentient. It's alive. Is that normal?

I mean, when I think of magic carpet, that's the only thing I can think of right now. Is there any other situations or movies where they have one and it's just... Let me ask you this. When have you ever seen somebody on a magic carpet where they take the reins? Do they take the reins? Like, how do you go somewhere? It's not like there's a screen. No, it's sentient.

It has to have some knowledge, right? Don't you tell it? I mean, it's just like magic. Magic powers. If you get on one right now, Mike, and let's pretend it's not sentient. All right. How do you get to the mall? Do you grab the corners and pull?

I mean, what's the technique? You're sitting there. No, I mean, you go corners. You got to... Like a horse? Like grab the technique? You're sitting there. No, I mean, you go corners. You got to. You got to. Like a horse? Like grab the reins? Yeah, exactly.

No, you got it. And the harder you pull them, the faster you go? Well, you got to give a little kick. Okay. Oh, you lean. It's like a Segway. The Segway of the sky. That's right. Why did we say that at the same time i don't know uh i am going to go believe it or not despite all of those attributes i'm going to go with the sexier broomstick pick oh you want this

but i want the speed i want to be the motor it's the motorcycle versus the like what we have not highlighted here is 15 miles an hour and 25 miles an hour this is not neither of them are very fast this is not a bicycle versus a ferrari this is one one safe in a oh jason found something he confirmed that they're not canon is what he probably just did that is correct yeah uh i have found out that's good it's good to know yeah i mean this is important information the broomsticks were seen go to you go to your forums, nerd? Yes, I did. Okay.

Harrypotter.fandom.com. Little shout out. The broomsticks were seen with a crossbar used as a footrest. These only appeared on the Nimbus 2000 and the Nimbus 2001 in the film versions of the Philosopher's Stone and Chamber of Secrets. The crossbars on the broomsticks are not mentioned in the novels. Oh, baby. When do we do Harry Potter trivia? So SnapeFan431 over here just got his answer.

How dare you, SnapeFan? That's the worst. Oh, my goodness. Okay, so final answer. I'm going to go with the slightly sexier broomstick. I just think pulling up to an event in a broomstick is going to be a little bit cooler than being delivered on a – What kind of broomstick? Is this like an event in a broomstick is going to be a little bit cooler than being delivered on a- What kind of broomstick do you-

Is this like old witch-looking broomstick, or are you on like a modern-day broom? Like a kitchen broomstick? That's not a Swiffer. The question has to be asked. It's got to have straw. Yeah. The magic is in the straw. Yeah, and I prefer, you know, like a, I don't know, a phoenix feather in the wood. In the straw. Yeah, and I prefer you know, like a phoenix feather in the

wood. I'm taking the magic carpet ride. My understanding from movies such as Aladdin is it is great for romance. And good luck falling asleep on your broomstick. No, it'd be a problem.

I'm going to go carpet. California. If I wear my magnetic underpants, I can fall asleep just fine. You fall asleep to sleep on your broomstick. No, it'd be a problem. I'm going to go carpet, California. If I wear my magnetic underpants, I can fall asleep just fine. You fall asleep on that broom. That broom is not catching you. I fall off my rug. That rug is... That's true.

Not if it only goes 15. That's a good point. If his max speed is 15, he comes right down after me. I'm not fast enough. Basically, he's just got the best view of my dad. He just follows you down. He's just straight watching me plummet. Oh, my goodness.

How fast do you fall? We've been over the bug. We got to look up. How fast? Between 110 and 130 miles per hour. Yeah, that's a lot more. See you later, rug. Catch me.

Curse Blatt. Oh, boy. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, it was kind of incredible considering the magic carpet, part of the magic has to be keeping you on it because you're grabbing nothing. You're sitting in the middle of the sky.

The carpet's going rigid. Right. I mean, I'm just saying it should be really easy to fall off of. Yeah. Both of them should be very easy to fall off of. All right, we're moving on. en ce balado, alors vous connaissez et aimez l'excitation du magasinage. Mais avez-vous ce frisson d'obtenir le meilleur deal? Les membres d'Horacuten, eux, oui. Ils magasinent les marques qu'ils aiment et font d'importantes économies, en plus des remises en argent. Et vous pouvez aussi commencer à gagner des remises en argent dans vos magasins préférés

comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia, et même cumuler les ventes et les remises en argent. C'est facile à utiliser et vous obtenez vos remises par PayPal ou par chèque. L'idée est simple. Les magasins paient Rakuten pour leur envoyer des gens magasinés. Et Rakuten partage l'argent avec vous sous forme de remise. Téléchargez l'application gratuite Rakuten

et ne manquez jamais un bon deal. Ou allez sur rakuten.ca pour en avoir plus pour votre argent. C'est R-A-K-U-T-E-N. Highway to Spell. And my palms are sweating. All right. Oh, gosh.

I have won this before. Yeah, when I got handicapped. That's right. But you would have won it anyways. So you have. You're in it. Who's starting today? Is it random?

It's going to be our reigning champ, Andy. Oh, boy. And we are starting in seventh grade. What? Are we just trying to speed this thing along? Yeah, let's get to the draft. Let's go. All right, Andy.

Here's your seventh grade level word. No. Accurate. Oh, what? What is this? Accurate? What is that voice? Okay.

Do it again. Accurate. No, better. A-C-C-U-R-A-T-E. Accurate. Unbelievable. Unbelievable. My prediction for that word was accurate.

I was a little worried about the one C versus two Cs, but I did write two Cs. Yeah. All right, Mike, here is your seventh grade level word. Okay. Commonate. What? I've never heard of that word in my life.

Me either. Commonate. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, that's... It's when a comet comes flying. I heard a commonate. Commonate?

That's because it said commonate. Well, no, it's that... It's culminate. Yeah. The word is culminate. But is it spelled commonate? Yes, it's spelled commonate. I mean, culminate.

C-U-L-M-I-N-A-T-E. Oh, baby. That was great. There's nothing worse than going third in the first round where I spell the first two words right, and now I quit. I'm leaving. You really do get sweaty. Always.

A-L-W-A-Y-S. Here's your seventh grade level word. Nicely done. Sincerity. Oh, come on. Oh, that's a long one. Ask him to use it in a sentence. Oh, shoot.

Oh, man. I got the... Oh, you're struggling over there? I got the first letter? Yeah, I got the first letter for sure. This is great. Oh, no. I think you'll be all right.

Yeah. I don't think I'm all right. You have two versions over there? I got two versions of it here. I'm sure one you'll be all right. I don't think I'm all right. You have two versions over there? I got two versions of it here. I'm sure one of them might be right. All right. I think you wrote the same word twice. No.

No? Those are different? Those are different. All right. Let me see them again. Do I go with what I wrote first, which felt right? That's your gut, yeah. Or do I go with what I wrote second which looks right there are

definitely two versions i mean let me see okay um sincerity can i hear the word one more time sincerity oh okay i see your difference in there sincerity okay um yeah no problem uh so you got it sincerity you got this s-i-n-c-e-r-e-t-y oh you son of a god yeah i mean it's an eye yeah i don't know what's going on over there you want to know the worst part of this whole thing um which uh obviously is me losing a round one on a seventh grade board um the second worst part of this thing is it was mike saying you gotta believe that made me go with what my gut answer was first because i thought you were giving me a hint i didn't know you wrote no i didn't know which one was i thought about giving you didn't know which one was first how do we write top down or hint. You didn't know which one was first? How do we write? Top down or bottom up?

Well, sometimes when I'm writing it, you put it in the middle, and you're like, I need more room. I'm going to the top. You're saying he wasn't sincere? He was sincerity. Well, we're moving on. Okay. Eighth grade, Mike and I.

See, now that you don't have to worry about anything anymore. Yeah, but who's the lucky one? Yeah, okay. My hamster died. I'm okay. All right, Ada, here's your eighth grade level word. Besiege. Uh-oh.

Besieged. B-E-S-I-E-G-E-D. Besieged. Got to go quick, man. You got to go quick. No, I agree. I had it. Mike didn't have it. Oh, man. I had it. You got to go quick. No, I agree. I had it. Mike didn't have it.

Oh, man. I had it. You got it wrong? I didn't even have a chance to write it. I didn't either. I started writing. I should have given you some time, but I just was so confident that my first impulse was right. I was waiting for the other voice.

Where's that from? Mike, here's your eighth grade level word. Okay. Precipice Uh oh On to the draft I will say this I just wrote the word Precipice and there ain't no chance

It's right There's so many variables here Precipice We are on the precipice of the draft. That's the truth. Holy moly. This could not possibly be right, what I wrote. I mean, I'm on letter four.

No, that's very wrong. I'm on letter four here. We're already up. This road could fork in so many directions. Dude, I wrote it. I wrote it, and then I looked at it. You know, you look at a word, and you're like, that's not a word.

Come on, Mike. You might get it. No. No. I've written it so many times, I don't think any of them are right now. Precipice. Can you use it in a sentence, Al? Jason did.

We are on the precipice of the draft. He's saying it so tenderly okay okay I'm locking in I'm locking in the s sound I've got that wait you're still working through it oh yeah we're on letter four my man press Hold on, stop. Just believe in yourself, Mike. Is you going to the mall today? Precipice. P-R-E-C-I-P-I-C-E. That's where I would have gone. All right. I'm happy That's where I would have gone

Alright I'm happy to know that I would have been out This round Press a pace You put that on your chips This is my favorite dip It's press a pace It's made in New York City He's out for two

You're playing with us every round buddy Oh yeah I'm in We're into high school Yep 9th grade He's out for two. You're playing with us every round, buddy. Oh, yeah. I'm in. I'm in. I'm playing this game, too. We're into high school? Yep. Ninth grade. Andy, can we turn some air on in this room, please? Coming right up.

Surveillance. Oh. Poop. Oh. Uh-oh. I wrote it so fast because I was like, oh, I know this one. No problem. And then the word got so much longer than it is.

Oh, man. Oh, boy. There's only one. I got one big problem. I always put so many extra letters in my words. I'm going. I'm shooting a shot here. Oh, no.

But the rule. Here we go. S-U-R. I'm out. I'm out. Wait, for real? Yeah, don't worry about it. S-U-huh okay i e l l a n c e surveillance is uh does that mean it's e n c e yeah no it's e i everything else you had correct oh poop i before e except after No, that can't be right.

Mine is bad. What did you have? Let me see. Mine was- You had S-E-R-V-A. Let me see this. Servalians. Servalians.

Is that a tilde over the N? No, that's just a dot. So the E-I. I even heard you say the rule, but it just didn't feel right. Because that's a rule. Take it home, Mike. It's a rule that sometimes you use, which is not a rule. All right, so if Mike gets this right, he wins.

That is correct. Oh, this will be the first time ever. Here we go. Here's your ninth grade level word. He's on the precipice of victory. Expediency. Oh, no. I think that's all right.

I think we can say on this one, expediency. I think no. I think that's all right. I think we can say on this one. I think I got that one. That's got another singular issue. What do you think about this? What do you think? You don't want to cheat off of me, Mike. I will happily show you, and you don't want none of this. Expediency?

Yeah, expediency. Expediency. E-X-P-E-D-I-E-N-C-Y. No! this expediency yeah expediency expediency e x p e d i e n c no i got the no you got it wrong i got everything wrong today he put the a n c e that was the variable congratulations mike wait wait where's the clapping yeah i got it for me well we're all winners here today that's that's for sure that's what i learned let's draft the spitballers draft we are drafting the best fruits and jason has the first pick um there's a lot of fruit.

Yeah. More than I thought when I started thinking about this draft. I don't know why, but there's a 101 that I really, really, really want, and I'll be sad if you take it, Jason. Well, there's a 101 for me as well. It's the clear and obvious first pick. Really? For me.

For my taste. Okay, good. It's not for everybody. But that's's what i was well i said this is my clear and most obvious favorite fruit like we should all know what it is my point is and i'm getting back to what i talked about at the beginning of the show where i don't think it is the most beloved fruit and so i want to play the game i want to see if i can get that back after you two take. Well, that would be the smartest thing to do because we might compete on other fruits. You'll get four fruits.

Is it four fruits? I'm saying it's five fruits before it gets back to me. Mrs. Doubtfire. Yes. Fruit's too good. All right. I'm going to pass on my favorite. Okay.

And guys, so are you. I hope you pay. I'm going to pass on my favorite. Okay. And guys, so are you. I hope you pay. You're going to pass too. Because I would never pass my favorite fruit. So what's your number one pick? All right. So I'm going to take. You got a little froggy over there.

Yeah. I'm getting a little choked up over this. You are very sweaty too. The Highway to Spell. Gets it. Should just be called highway to sweat. I mean, that thing is stressful. S-W-A-I-T.

You want to hit the sauna or you could have a spelling bee. All right. With the first pick, I am going to take a very normal, common staple fruit. I'm going to take the apple. Okay. Take a very normal, common staple fruit. I'm going to take the apple. Okay. Now, if we're going specific, it's Honeycrisp. Apples.

He gets apples. Okay, but the record needs to show that Honeycrisp are the best apples. That's fine. Apple was my biggest question because there are so many different, and they taste very different. They do. We'll go all apples. That's fine. There's enough fruit.

We could have had an apple draft. We'll do an apple draft on its own someday. Brooks eats an apple salad every day. Yeah, he does. I love Honeycrisp, apple pie, apple cobbler. I think it's versatile. It is versatile. Classic.

And it's so easy. Fruit. Some fruit goes. This is not the best fruit. Some fruit goes. I agree. No, I agree. I didn't draft the best fruit because it's going to come back to me.

But they're also so easy. Sometimes you've got to do so much work for fruit. And this is like grab one of these. Yeah, this is the vanilla of the fruits. Do you wash your apples? I do rinse my apples, yes. I rinse my apples. Oh, man.

Fridge to mouth, baby. You're all natural. Living dangerous. Love that pesticide. That's one of those things where like what if you just found out that nobody's ever needs to wash their apples like you just do something you do for your whole entire life and what if you don't even need to do it you haven't wasted that much time so i think you're that's a lot of rinses how many no no my death bed i'll have 11 minutes that i could have accumulated mike is right because here's what's

crazy when you say you go fridge to mouth i think that is is right because here's what's crazy. When you say you go fridge to mouth, I think that is awful and disgusting. Here's what I do. I take that apple and maybe for half a second I run underwater. I mean, I don't, there's nothing I'm doing. I don't wash it. I'm just getting it wet. That's literally all I do.

You wet your apple. I wet my apple and then we're good to go. I have washed nothing off of that apple, but I would never go fridge to mouth. You know what? You're 100% right. I do the exact same thing, but I think I've seen people say, you're supposed to wash your fruit for like a minute.

Like, if you really wanted to wash your produce, you're supposed to like scrub it for a minute. I'm on team wet my produce. All the cook plans, like make sure you thoroughly wash your produce. Just run it under some cold water. Who's got time for that? One, one, done. I'm taking what I consider to be the 101 of actual fruit

because when you have a good one, which you almost always do. Come on, come on. It's just too delicious. And the spears, it just chopped through it. A pineapple. Oh, baby. So good. I knew Mike loves pineapple.

Is that what you were hoping would fall through? That's the easy 101. I mean, pineapple. By the way, I don't know what they do in Disneyland. You ever go to the Bingo Cafe by Indiana Jones ride? Oh, yeah. They sell giant pineapple spears from heaven. If you just grill, like literally just take a pineapple.

Spear it up. Throw it on a grill. You don't have to know what you, spear it up, throw it on a grill. You don't have to know what you're doing. Just heat it up on a grill. That's all you got to do. Oh, it's so good. It's so good. Also good cold. It's so good freezing.

Cold, hot, frozen. Room temperature, you got to try it. They make a $10 appliance to core a pineapple. It changes your life. Mike, I think, is the one who told me about it. And it's opened up a whole new world for me and my pineapples. It's the whole reason I didn't draft pineapples. I talk about apples are easy.

The barrier to entry on an apple is nothing. You don't grab a pineapple out the fridge and start chowing down. You got work to do. Yes, you do. But pineapple's my pick. It's worth it every time. Yeah. I tell you, you can have too much.

Sure. Very acidic. Very acidic. The mouth starts to burn, and that's when you know you've had enough. But, oh, man, pineapple's so good. I like my fruit to scorch my mouth. I was hoping at the turn I could come through with this dynamic duo of the pineapple and the strawberry. Okay.

Yeah. Because standalone, incredible value combined. with this dynamic duo of the pineapple and the strawberry. Okay, yeah. Because standalone, incredible value combined. I mean, it's incredible. I feel like the world loves strawberries just a little bit more than I do. Oh, man. Do you know what I mean? Like, people love strawberries. I am with you, Andy. You are?

What is happening? Strawberries are just, first of all, you can get a vast difference between one strawberry to the next. Sure. On how good they are. I'm not that into them. Strawberries are good. Yes.

Strawberries are good. Yes. I'm not an anti-strawberry guy. I will not stand for strawberries are good. Strawberries are top tier elite. Producers, please. You put some chocolate on them and I can get down. Oh, yeah.

There's ways to make the sourness go away. You don't need it. I love strawberries, but I made a list. They're number four on my list. Exactly. They're probably right there for me. Six on my list. I'll take seven. Y'all are crazy. I mean, look, I respect the pick. I think strawberry for a lot of people is the one to one.

It's so good. Brooks, where do you have strawberries? No thanks. Oh, alright. I stand alone then. Was it Tomady that's never had a strawberry in his life probably yeah all right mike second pick for you all right now now the game begins yeah you got a long wait after this pick uh man i'm not what are the fruit of your loom mike i'm just gonna go going to go, like, I like sour. So whatever, I'm just going to stay with my heart.

I'm going with green grapes. Okay. Green grapes. You can have all the grapes. I know. Okay, I will take. You get grapes. I'll take grapes.

I will take the red ones, and I will throw them in the garbage. Oh, you make wine out of them. And then I'll dump that down the drain. Okay, all right. Have you ever taken? That's a lot of extra work for me over here. You consider eating a red... Okay.

Red grapes are still good. You just prefer the green grapes. But a cold, crispy green grape is fantastic. I call them pre-raisins, but whatever. Oh, my gosh. I challenge you. If you don't like the sweet ones, you like the sour ones. I like...

Red ones are fine. Yeah. They're all delicious. But if you've ever frozen the red, frozen grapes are so good. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I would.

I'm not saying that life better dabbled. Oh, they're good. And they're much like the apple. I mean, a little bit more work than an apple. Because you got two seconds under the water. Because you know what? No. You have to pluck them off those.

Whatever. What do we even call those things? The stems? I think so. All right. Yeah. I mean, there's some variables there. You grab a chunk of grapes.

You're going to get some duds in there. You're going to get some, you know. Have you guys had, first of all, shout out to the scientists out there. You guys are doing some great work. The fruit scientists. Doing some great things. We had too many working on cancer. We need the fruit scientists. Doing some great things. We had too many working on cancer. We need the fruit scientists.

They have found a way, and I think it's organic. It's basically, I didn't know you could breed plants. We can do whatever we want, man. But whatever magic they've done, they have created grapes that naturally grow that taste like cotton candy. Have you had cotton candy? I've heard tale. Cotton candy grapes are unbelievable.

But do they taste like cotton candy? They taste 100% like cotton candy. Where's my cotton candy broccoli? If you have cotton. But I want my grapes to taste like grapes. Okay. You should try the apples they make. I'm just telling you, it's like if you have cotton candy flavored ice cream.

That flavor. It's that flavor in every grape. We're doing good work out there. It's probably too sweet for you. But Andy brings up the best point imaginable. Where's my cotton candy broccoli? Mix that stuff up to taste sweet. Your filet mignon broccoli.

Yeah. I believe it's the sugars, which are not in the broccoli. But filet mignon broccoli. He's right. the sugars which are not in the broccoli but filet mignon broccoli he's right give me something tastes like potato potato chair broccoli yeah lacking get on that lays all right broccoli by lays you could never eat just one oh man that would make me healthier all right i am back up and i am a little worried about this way that jason set up his secret number one pick because i have i'm on the fence between a couple i'm gonna go with what i think is i mean clearly the most refreshing of all fruits it's a good time it's delicious it's watermelon i'm going with watermelon for my second pick uh it is a summer's day.

I mean, that's what it is. So, again, look, both of my fruits takes you some time to get into it. You got to do a little work, but it's worth it. They are delicious. Watermelon would have been my pick next. Had I not gotten the best fruit that exists, which is clearly a banana. I mean, bananas are my favorite. Now, here's the thing about...

You've got apple and banana. You're very vanilla. I didn't think it was bananas due to your particularity about when a banana's actually good. You think they are good on like one summer's eve per cycle. That is 100% right. After the full moon. Yes. Harvest moon. You have to wait for bananas to be ripe if there is a hint of green it could be yellow

and still have a little bit of green flavor get that thing in the garbage flush it i mean a green banana sucks now once the green is completely gone and get rid of this thing that will eventually turn into the yellow delicious banana that i want, but let's hold on to this thing. You're not ready. Get out. And then. It's not past the prime. It just hasn't hit it yet.

It's a fair point. But once it hits that full yellow. You need some brown, right? Maybe a hint of brown. Absolutely no bruise. Some speckles? No bruise. Speckles on the outside.

Yeah, you want some specks? You open that thing up and it's great. But here's the thing about bananas. Banana freckles on the outside. Yeah, you want some specks? You open that thing up and it's great. But here's the thing about bananas. Banana freckles. Bananas are the, when you've got a ripe banana, it is the perfect flavor. It is my favorite. It might be my favorite flavor of all flavors. He loves banana flavored stuff.

Banana desserts, banana cream pies, banana runts, banana pudding. Yeah, you're a little too banana. You can cut these up, put them in your cereal. I mean, there's only one way that regular Cheerios is okay. Put some bananas in there. I have Cheerios every morning. Regular? Yeah.

Put some bananas in there. I like regular Cheerios too. Hey, put some bananas in there. I don't want the mush in the chomp. If you're reaching for a banana, let me ask each of you a question. You're reaching for a banana of your perfect ripeness. Are you throwing back the whole banana? Are you a whole banana guy or are you a half banana?

You never eat the butt. Oh, yeah. We talked. The bananas needs to go. But I go. But I'm saying quantity-wise, you're good with a full banana. Oh, absolutely. All right.

Are we all full banana people? I mean, they're not that big. Yeah, what? You're throwing away half a banana? No, I would never throw it away. I'd save it. people? I mean, they're not that big. Yeah, what? You're throwing away half a banana? No, I would never throw it away. I'd save it. The bananas I get are the size of my arm. I could never put one down.

I'd cut a banana in half and eat half a banana. Now, have you done the, you actually, you open it what is perceived as upside down? I have. I've never broken through the bananas. It's actually way easier to open from the upside down part. Yeah. How? You just, you pinch and you can rip. You still peel? Yeah. bananas it's it's actually way easier to open from the upside down part yeah how you just you pinch you still peel yeah you pinch and you rip open instead of like grabbing that what is what

we're told is like the can opener from the banana except like then you just it doesn't always worry how you just break the banana and you've got your apples and bananas i'm i'm always going to use a knife you cut the top peel i'm not you need a knife i don't need a knife to use a knife. You cut the top, peel. You need a knife for a banana. I use a knife so that I don't smush it. Bougie Boy needs a knife for his banana. Dude, I'm going to label a banana knife. Do you eat it with a fork too? Maybe sometimes. Oh my goodness

gracious. Dipping it in some chocolate. Alright, so I've got bananas. Your ancestors are so upset with you right now. I've got apples and... I need a knife! Man, this is really... It opens with you right now. I've got apples and... I need a knife! Man, this is really... It opens with very little effort. Save your knife for the freaking pineapple,

brother. Let me tell you this. Yes! Okay, you need a knife. Otherwise, you're ripping your hands open. A banana just goes... He's got those lotion gloves on when he's eating it, so he doesn't need the... It's not a lot of work to open a banana he's got those lotion gloves on when he's eating it so he doesn't need the it's it's not a lot of work to open a banana without a knife no it is still less work to

open it with the knife no no in the time you have to walk to the drawer my knives are right next to my banana stand so this is thought out i grab it and i'm at the same station little cut all right good to go uh what's your third fruit there pal my third fruit there are two i'm debating there's a murderous monkey living in this house um man there are so many fruit that i love um i think i'm going all right i i'm gonna play the game again my next my next favorite fruit i don't think you guys are gonna draft i do think you will draft this next one so i i've got like team classic over here i'm going oranges okay oranges are delicious you can have them in the summer in the winter uh and now seedless thank you scientists yes zero to six

seeds zero to six seeds seedless watermelon seedless oranges um yeah oranges are just great i think they're fantastic i think they're underrated nowadays like when we were growing up oranges they were the you want to talk about an annoying fruit to eat or i mean let's let's be honest you need a napkin when we're saying we oranges, what we're mostly saying is we like the taste of oranges. We're not really liking. I actually enjoy the process. Oh, no. Good.

Great texture. Juicy. I enjoy. You don't want no paper cuts on your fingers when you're eating an orange. That's true. I don't want paper cuts on my fingers no matter what. In general, yeah. Like if I'm eating a steak.

I live by that. But yeah, I like peeling an orange. The only problem is the juice on the hands. That is annoying. Sure. All right, so you have apples, bananas, and oranges. This is kind of- Fruit of the loom.

Well, I'm going to go, I'm going to stick with this slightly less vanilla and boring. I will go, I have pineapple, I have watermelon. I'm going to go with peach. Okay. I'm going with a juicy peach. I will go. I have pineapple. I have watermelon. I'm going to go with peach. Okay. I'm going with a juicy peach. I like it. I'll take a juicy peach over. And how easy it is to eat over an orange, which without rudimentary tools, I could not

access the inside of an orange very well. You can't just bite it open? I suppose I could try that. But then you've got some of the. Just get that old incisor in there, man, and it's good to go. Yeah, but then you've got the orange peel in your teeth and stuff. Yes, it's a sacrifice. You've got to get the essence of whatever's in that orange peel.

Either of you guys have an orange peeler? No, because I've got- It's right next to his orange tree. How many teeth do we got? 32? You really bite an orange open? Oh, yeah. I have never done that in my life.

Well, you've got some nice canines, though. I would like to say that. Well, thank you. I pride myself on my two canines. Yes, it is bitter, absolutely. Oh, you're talking about the actual rind? Yes, when you bite into it. That's not even a good name for something.

It goes away quickly because then you're soon eating a sweet, delicious orange. And then you don't have a sweet, delicious orange. And then you don't have to go find anything sharp. You don't have to wash anything. I used to chew oranges and then spit. After I got all the juice, I'd spit the junk part out. Like the skin. Yeah. All right, so I'm going peach.

I think a peach is delicious. I like peach flavored. Peach is as close as I get to your banana love of things. Like peach flavored things, I'm down. Interesting. I'm down on peaches. I think peaches as close as I get to your banana love of things like peach flavored things. I'm down. I'm down on peaches. I think peaches are okay. There you go.

I think they're good. And I'm going to go final two picks for Mikey. I got my final two here. I'm going with a like when I started making my list, you know, you're looking up fruits. Dude, I freaking love this fruit. And it's just I so rarely get it like it's you know how you get up fruits like dude i freaking love this fruit and it's just i so rarely get it like it's you know how you get in your habits of you go to the grocery store you know which fruits to target for your family and that that's all you buy like we're uh we're

in apples i'm sure my instagram driver has that feeling when i when i send them I don't know who I'm doing a show with anymore over here. But, dude, pears. Pears are so unbelievably good. I thought I could let that slip to the last pick. I'm disappointed. I like all these picks. Well, yeah, they're good when they're perfectly ripe. Yes, of course.

It needs to be a ripe fruit. These are all peak fruits we're drafting. A lot of these fruits, though, unlike a banana and a pear, they have a longer life. Like an orange, is an orange ever not ripe? I mean, obviously, you can pick it before it's ripe. But an apple? They can be not sweet.

You put an apple in your fridge, you come back three years later, that thing's good to go. Yeah. But, dude, pears are so good. They're so sweet. Yes. But, like, pears are so good. They're so sweet. Yes. But, like, they're not like it's crazy. Have you ever had a Harry and David pear?

I have, yes. I don't know what that is. It's a brand. Yeah, you get them on the internet. There's brand name pears? You get them on the internet, and they show up at your house. You get a 12-pack of Harry and David pears. Okay.

Blow your world. Not a sponsor, but reach out. It'll blow your mind. I'm in for it. You're going to get in on these pears? I love pears. Give me one. The texture of the skin is...

Yeah, it's tolerable. I think it adds to the experience for me. Yeah, I love it. And with my last pick here, I mean, there's some more, not really exotic fruits, but just not as common. But I'm going to go with a common name here.

I'm just going to go with good old-fashioned blueberry. That's what I'm saying. You just get yourself a handful of blueberries, and you are in for a good time. Blueberries are fantastic. Yeah, they are. It took me a long time to get on board with pretty much all berries. But blueberries have risen to the top for me.

Not strawberries. You would not have taken peach. I could have taken pear, though. Oh, I would never have taken peach. I've made a terrible decision. If we could go 10 rounds, I wouldn't have taken peach. They're good. They're just not on my list.

They're hairy. So, pears are kind of, too. No. Not like a peach. Peach is like velvet. They're fuzzy. They're super hairy. They're fuzzy. Pe list. They're hairy. So are the pears kind of too. No. Not like a peach. Peach is like velvety. They're not super hairy. They're fuzzy. Peaches are like eating velvet.

A little bit. Strawberries, grapes, pears, blueberries. I'm very sad because pears and blueberries were my next two picks. So instead of going with either one of them, you took them both. And I'm almost out of fruits on this list over here. I'm going to actually go with, I mean, is it a betrayal of the fruit if I don't want to just eat a bunch of the fruit, but I love the fruit flavor? Let's find out. You know what I'm saying?

There are fruits. I mean, I think that's kind of orange for a lot of people, too. They like orange juice more than they like oranges. Would you rather have a glass of orange juice or an orange? Or a glass of an orange. I glass or an orange or a glass of an orange uh i would rather have orange juice i think but i also love oranges i guess i guess i'm gonna just i'm gonna throw this draft right in the trash can i'm gonna take rassic i'm taking raspberries oh that's fine wait raspberries are great yeah they are good raspberries are great. That's why I'm saying it's fine. Raspberries are good, but I like raspberry flavor even more than the raspberry.

I love raspberries. Raspberries are- What a pick by me. Yeah, they're so much better than peaches. They can be a little gritty. Yes, that's what gets me. But they got a good flavor. Yeah.

We at the Moore's House, we have berries all the time, and there are three of them. We have blueberries, raspberries. Yes. And my final pick, which is the least popular of the three, and I find that is always the one I prefer. When all three are there, I'm eating 100% blackberries first. Okay. I love them. When they are sweet, they are so delicious.

I was happy that blackberries got back to me. Talk about gritty oh yeah you got the little seeds for sure but i think it's worth it if it makes me and you spit them all out right the little itty bitty tiny and the way you phrase that is interesting because this is how i think of it too is when you say okay well i'm gonna eat a berry what is that okay well blueberry blueberry blackberry raspberry yeah it's called a berry. What is that? Okay. Well, blueberry, blueberry, blackberry, raspberry. Yeah. It's called a strawberry, but it is not linked to those other berries. Because you need to be able to hold them like a bunch in your hand and pop them in your mouth at one time.

Okay. That's the thought. If you have a bunch of mixed berries and the strawberries are there, then there's too much strawberry because the strawberries are just too big. You need strawberry slices in one of those fruit salads. Yep. No, but the reality is like berries when i'm looking at like a ranked list it which is really dumb has all these different fruits and then the number one thing is just berries just like the whole category you can't do that you can't do that our draft would have been over yeah

we did go blueberry raspberry blackberry for the last three yeah but i'm saying like you can't just all berries now nobody took the lime or the lemon now is that because we all know that they're just ancillary pieces they are not standalone fruits i'm never gonna do great work eat a lime limes i mean i love a lot i take a lime to a lemon in my water me too uh limes are much more practical, used in more things to me than a lemon. But yeah, you're not eating. It's like, oh, what's your favorite fruit? A lemon. Now, could I have taken a clementine?

No. It would have been in the orange category? Yeah. Because I would have taken it too. I have three on my list. Let's hear it. I love kiwi. Kiwi is so good.

We just heard from Al Bore. You talk about fuzzy. Apparently, it says 102. Well, you don't eat the fuzz on that. You eat the fuzz on a peach, or you can. You don't ever eat the peel on a kiwi. I don't eat kiwi, man. I don't know how you eat that thing.

No, not in on it. Here's one of my absolute favorite fruits that I know so many people hate. I mean, hate it. Can't stand it. I love cantaloupe. Cantaloupe to me is fantastic. I prefer it to watermelon. I like the honeydew.

The problem with the cantaloupe is clearly it's the cheapest fruit that people can buy because when you order a fruit cup, it's 80 cheapest fruit that people can buy because when you order a fruit cup, you always get it. It's 80% cantaloupe and then like one little sliver of a strawberry and maybe a blueberry. The melons. So it's on the restaurant industry. They have created the animosity towards the cantaloupe because when you have- And it's not like it's good cantaloupe in those. Right, but there is good cantaloupe.

And you're like, okay, I'm fine with this. Yeah, they're not giving you the good stuff in the cheap fruit cups. And then shout out to cherries. Yes, I thought about cherries. Messy fruit. They are messy. And you've got to deal with the gigantic seed in the middle. Oh, no, no, no.

Have we gotten rid of those? Seedless cherries. I'm not dealing with that. You can do that? Was you here at a six? The science we got on that? Oh, yeah. One in every six still has the seed.? Seedless cherries. I'm not dealing with that. You can do that? Was you here at a six? The science we got on that? Oh, yeah. One in every six still has the seed.

Maraschino cherries? Wait a minute. Maraschinos aren't cherries. What are those? Are those the dessert ones? Those are the little dessert ones that are like- That's not a real cherry. That they put on top of your ice cream. That's not a real fruit.

No, that's a candy. That's not a real fruit. It's got to be a fruit, though, right? No. It's made out of sugar. It's preserved sweetened cherries. It's. That's not a real fruit. It's got to be a fruit though, right? No. It's made out of sugar. Is preserved sweet. It's lost itself. Typically made from light colored sweet cherries. So it's cherries made out of cherries.

All right. The last one I would have gone with for. It's kind of like the peach, but like a nectarine. Like from that family of. Yes. What do you even call those? I don't know. I mean, I think I'd have a name, right?

Peaches and nectarines are like limes and lemons to me. Yeah. And a nectarine is actually quite delicious. Oh, what about plums? That's on my list as well. But I don't know the last time I had one. You just rediscovered this. I think I was...

They're good. I don't know, 12? Yes. Who eats plums? But they're delicious. I think I was, I don't know, 12? Yes. Who eats plums? But they're delicious. Man, I remember plums. This is what I was saying at the beginning. Fruit is fantastic.

You guys remember fruit? We might have not given Maraschino cherries enough cherry credit. I think they are. I mean, they've gone to work on them. Oh, the Luxardo Maraschino cherries are they've hit the lab pretty hard hit the plastic surgeon that's like yeah like the canned peaches there ain't no more peach left in that thing all right uh any other any other forgotten fruits over there deuces you got all mine. All right. What did we learn today? I learned that Mike is the best speller out of the three of us.

Thank you. I'm glad that someone finally recognizes us. I learned that, sadly, J.K. Rowling didn't come up with the foot pedals. What do you call them? Footrest. Footrest for the broomstick. I learned that the only possible solution to stay on a flying broomstick is magnetic underpants. Yes, of course it is.

With the metal. You've got to have the metal broom, otherwise it's a real problem. Just no help whatsoever. Your thighs just stick together. All right, that'll do it for the Spitballers. Thanks for tuning in. Goodbye. All right, that'll do it for the Spitballers.

Thanks for tuning in. Goodbye. Bye-bye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com.