Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 21: Game Shows and Business Ideas - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: November 5, 2018

Do you wash dishes before putting them in the dishwasher? Should you? Do you brush your teeth in the morning? In the evening? Both? These and other super duper important questions are dealt with by the three village idiots of the Spitballers Podcast. Today's show finishes with another amazing draft: Game Shows! Who gets Jeopardy? Who will draft a completely unknown game show you've never heard of? Listen to find out!  Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/spitballers/posts See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What's going on? The Spitballers back again. What's going on? Andy, Mike, and Jason. Another great episode on the way. That's great news. This is going to be a good one. You can't even look at me, can you?

I can't look at you right now because you have shaved your face, and it's just a little jarring. Yeah. There's more light reflecting off of your face right now. A lot. It's hitting me in the eyeball. Yeah. You need to wear sunglasses around me due to mostly my white neck.

So here's the deal. I've had a beard for the last, I don't know, like two years now? Yeah, at least. Yeah. Because you didn't always have a beard and it didn't seem this strange. Well, I wasn't always this fat, Andy, and I think that's a big part of it, right? Because the reason I started growing the beard was, look, the more neck, that's my last name, the generations of more men our neck is it's well

renowned your neck situation to me i've always thought that's unfortunate like small chin big neck it kind of droops down like a turkey gobbler good for thanksgiving but uh other than that how is it good for thanksgiving you dress up as a turkey? Yes, you get in the spirit. The turkey loving spirit. Look at me. I'm a turkey. A turkey eating a turkey.

But so I can hide the fat neck with a beard. And then we decided for Halloween to, for our other podcast, Fantasy Footballers Podcast, which has a video product, to dress up. Yes. And I went as a character that has a giant mustache, which of course requires shaving the rest of the beard. And then I'm not going to rock a mustache because I would. I'd be happy to but

the wife was very excited to have smooth-lipped jason and uh smooth she was excited until she saw me i will say this why was this oh go ahead mike that you also had a halloween of years ago where you dressed up as tobias that's right from uh arrested development never knew and you went all i mean you shaved your head and then shaved the bald pattern that david cross has i've i i am impressed by the lengths that you will go for your halloween costume because i realize mike i'm not shaving my head or beard change his hair no Mike I put a jacket I went and looked at the picture Mike was dressed up as a Ryan Fitzpatrick I went and looked at the actual picture of Ryan Fitzpatrick he had completely different hair on the top of his head all my cat would have had to do was like lay his

hair down to look like him and Mike didn't even do that yeah i mean it really mike dressed up as like mike yeah but but like mike had a gold chain on mike at a cool party or something now i i am curious when you decided to grow the beard to cover the neck was it at that point in time did you think maybe just maybe that would be the i'd lose weight rather than grow the beard i always thought i would lose the weight before I shaved the beard. I was wrong. I have now shaved the beard. I have not lost the weight.

Come on, man. You've been working hard. I've been working out. But here's the truth, and this is no joke. But not the neck as much. This is not a joke. If I lost 50 pounds and my body was shredded, I'm confident I would have a saggy, droopy white neck. It's just genetically I'm ruined.

What can you do for a neck? I mean, can you do neck rolls? I don't know. Back in the 50s or whatever, they had workout machines for your neck. Oh, let's go back in time. Well, they didn't do anything. What if you stretch your neck. Oh, let's go back in time. They didn't do anything. What if you stretch your neck out? I need to do jaw.

Elongate it. It's more like a giraffe-esque. I really, really now want to see just some shredded dude, but he has a big neck. Just a poochy neck. Tomorrow, Jason's going to come in. Small chin, big neck.

Sucks. He's going to come in and say he got into a car accident. He'll be wearing one of those. The neck brace is the... I'm sorry, guys. I need it to be winter quicker because turtlenecks are coming in fashion from what I hear. Now, a turtleneck,

this is not meant to be a rude question, but a turtleneck with the neck that you have been given, where does it go? Yeah, it probably doesn't go high enough. I need the turtleneck to go all the way to the chin. You need a turtleneck ski mask combo. There you go.

You should go only neck beard. Thanks, guys. This has been really good. Feel good about myself. Would you rather? That's a good question and a mock draft on the podcast today. But before we do that, we want to jump into a review from the listeners. Review-a-saurus rags.

Oh, this one is titled Life-Changing. The Spitballers podcast has been life-changing for me. I am ashamed to admit that I have always been a stander. After listening to the pod, I built up the courage to revolutionize my bathroom routine. I can now proudly join the ranks of sitters. My family and friends are starting to come back into my life. I'm a new man, all thanks to the spitballers. Well, I mean, we just, this is the impact we can make on this world.

I had a few friends come out of the woodwork after listening to that conversation and say, oh, I've been a stander forever. And my reaction to the question on the show of do you stand or sit when you wipe was legit. I had no idea that people actually stood. Well, people don't talk about this. This is why this podcast is so important. People are not, you know, people are ashamed. They're ashamed.

Yeah. We're bringing things out of the light. Ignorant, really. Yeah, very ignorant. So if you want to hear that, that's a few episodes ago. You know, that's how I am with a lot of the questions on this show, where I don't even want to put them in the show as a hot dog or sandwich. Like, no, of course not.

But then there's like like there's so many people yeah all these questions that we get frequently there are people that actually believe the wrong thing which we've done that question too you can go back and find that somewhere you can also send in a question at yeah at spitballers pod on twitter spitballers pod.com we're on instagram facebook Facebook both of those are spitballerspod and we always appreciate you reviewing as that listener has done so wonderfully

with all of the stars and yeah we're on iTunes Starter Deck you can subscribe over there oh that was their name? I thought the name was missing because his name is Starter Deck but I guess what else would it be? that because his name is Starter Deck. Yeah.

But I guess what else would it be? Yeah. That is his name. All right. Let's get into Would You Rather. Would you rather. All right. Would you rather have your children pick every meal you eat or have your wife pick every meal you eat? All right.

So for the rest of your life you're either basically you're what does this mean grown-up food or kid food i i suppose the way that my first impression of this question i am generally in charge of dinner in the right household. I come home. I figure it out. My wife is quite indecisive when it comes to meals. So if I picked my wife. You'd never eat again? No, I would eat, but I think she would be so angry at me of what curse I have put upon her

that she has to decide dinner for me every single night. I don't know if I would ever escape from that cloud. Would she just pick horrific meals for you out as punishment for making her decide? You're eating dog food tonight, Mike. I think it would be more of the, like you had said, I would just probably never eat again. Who has, let me ask this, which one of these,

uh, categories, if we can call people categories as, as of course we can, which one of these answers, which one of, there you go. Which one of these answers is more likely to have them angrily give you bad meals from time to time.

The wife. The kids grow up, though. Someday they'll be teenagers. The kids are most likely to give me the foods that are in my wheelhouse. They're the ones that say, okay, for dinner tonight we're going to do mac and cheese and we're going to do

cereal. Today's probably eight to ten days in a row of waffles. No, I know what would happen. If my boy was in charge, it would be pizza every night. Because he would not be picking for me. He would be picking for himself, and he would pick pizza every single night. Do you guys get this? Do you have a food that your kids ask for?

It's mac and cheese. Mac and cheese is all they want. My boy, every night. Do you guys get this? Do you have a food that your kids ask for? It's mac and cheese. Literally, mac and cheese is all they want. My boy, every night. Oh, are we getting pizza tonight? Why do you think we're getting pizza tonight? Yeah, it's not only the same, it's the exact same. It's pizza. Presumptuous.

It's pizza. We can have pizza for dinner last night, and then because we're running late, there's pizza for lunch the next day, and then what do you want to eat? Pizza. And it's like, you just finished eating pizza like two hours ago there you have a slice in your hand there is no reason just to to kind of go another direction why on earth does domino's or papa john's or pizza hut or any of these main chains why on earth do they not have a subscription service for delivery? Ooh.

Where you just get – Domino's probably has one coming. It makes no sense that there wouldn't be something you could subscribe to where you get pizza delivered on whatever night you want every single week at the exact same time. Dude, I remember – No, not just – I mean, that, but that could be the idea of how do you not have a plan where it's, okay, for 30 bucks a month, you get one pizza a week.

Exactly. Oh, right. Like all the movie passes you're doing. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It doesn't make any sense. I mean, that's. And if you want to subscribe to a certain day, or maybe like you got the Tuesday, Thursday plan. Now, here's.

Eight pizzas a month. I mean, that's why, that's a genius plan. There's a lot of money to be made. Here's why I think that wouldn't work. Copyright spitballers 2018. Yes, for sure. We're going to need a chunk of that change. What is the date of this recording?

But the reason that... 8.54 a.m. Wednesday, October 31st, 2018. There's... Like, go see movies, right? You get the subscription. And the reason that works is you just can't always see movies. You can't go see 100 movies in a month. It takes too much time.

There's not enough movies out. People have jobs. Based on what we were just talking about, I feel like there are people, myself included, that could eat pizza every single day. Well, that's why it's not daily. It's just one a week. No, he's saying he could. Oh, you're limiting it.

Yeah, I'm limiting it to one a week. And because you know that not every family is going to get the pizza every single week. Oh, you're saying. And on top of that, let's break this down. What does it cost Domino's to make their pizza? Two bucks. Fifty cents.

Nineteen and a half cents. Look, I eat them. They're delicious. But I know what I'm eating is absolute trash. Unless you'd like to sponsor. The thing is, I said I eat it and it's good. If you have people on a schedule, though, then you can like, you already know how many deliveries you got to make.

You can make the pizzas at the right time. The efficiency goes up. The cost goes down. Copyright 2018. So I would choose my children for taste. Because my wife would make me healthy stuff all the time. And I would be like, ooh. I'm going to get a Jason neck real quick if I pick my kids.

I'm growing the beard out picking the kids. Got to get that kid food. I want chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and pizza for the rest of my life. There'll be a Chipotle in there every once in a while, so I'm going to go with pizza and Chipotle. From your kids? Your kids like Chipotle? Oh, yeah.

Would you rather be filthy rich in the 1800s or poor but living today? The timing of this is so good. Yeah, I know. I would never pick filthy rich in the 1800s except what oh man red dead redemption 2 we are all playing it we're all living in the wild west right now and uh what did it say in the first weekend red dead redemption made over 700 million dollars uh and in this game if you don't know what it is you play a character living in the 1800s going from town to town saloon to saloon bounty hunter to bounty hunter yeah the wild west

yeah the wild west and now being filthy rich makes you a target in the wild west i'm fine being that because if you uh you know you got to transport your money all your money there ain't there's not you know bank accounts where the money's all digitized. It's true. You got gold bullion. I would rather. A gold ingot. I would much rather worry about protecting all of my gold ingots than not having any gold ingots.

Right? Well, you also live a shorter life. I mean, in the 1800s, you're probably going down to something. Yeah. There's a lot more disease. Yeah, the disease. I mean, the doctors are... Danger.

Their solution was we should probably cut your arm off or put leeches on you. But at least if you're filthy rich in that time some of the hardships you know where people have to actually you're hunting for your food you're whatever you eat it's because you are in charge of it but if you're filthy rich no yeah there's not a worry there i got i got people who are doing that for me i'm just you're just riding around on trains i'm the cowboy man oh man you'd be on sheriff of. You'd be on the nice trains. Yeah, you would. What was the difference between a bad train and a nice train in the 1800s?

Oh, I think it's huge. I think they had the luxury cabins. Executive cabin. Yeah. I'm all about it. You can get tuberculosis in any cabin. That's a fair point. I'm going to roll the dice with dysentery, and I'm taking the 1800s because...

I've had my fair share of dysentery. We've all died from dysentery in the Oregon Trail. Yeah, no, I mean, look, you say, oh, your life is longer now, but this says, or you've got to be poor living today. How long is your life living under a bridge? Well. He didn't say that. Well, I'm taking it to the extreme. Yes, okay.

I'm not saying, like, I'm slightly below the median income level. I'm homeless. Yeah. Okay. You're destitute. Let me ask you this. Is a homeless person today physically better off than the average person in the 1800s? Yeah.

No. I would say no. Where do they go to the bathroom? In a bathroom. Right? I don't know. That's the perks of the Wild West. I go wherever I want.

If that's a perk. Freedom. You can do that now, Mike, if you want. You know what true freedom is? I just took a whiz over there. That's freedom. You can do that now if you want your freedom. No, you cannot. Yes, you can.

Because here's the thing. In the 1800s, it wasn't like just because you went out in the woods that you could go in front of people. You're not talking and just whip it out. Oh, you definitely could. No way! If you do that today, you are getting a ticket and you're getting yourself on a registry. Either way,

you need privacy. Then or now, you still need privacy. That is fair. Now, I don't know how we got there, but filthy rich in the 1800s is my vote. Yeah, let's go. I've always romanticized the Wild West

I've always thought having the reputation the six shooter roaming the wild I'm with you I'm romanticizing it as well I give myself an over under of five days before I realize I've made a terrible mistake

that's very true. Yeah. I mean, about day two, when I wake up freezing cold in the middle of a desert, can't start a fire, bugs are attacking me, and then I'm getting chased by lawmen or something. Especially if it's us now that's then put in that situation. We know what we know now. Yeah, we have no skills. They just hand you a hat.

We have no ability to like, wait, I got to walk there? Yeah. What? Where's my Uber? Uber for horses? I know. Copyright. Yeah, we're the Spitballers Copyright.

October 31st. I want to be able to order a horse on my phone. Uber? Uber. I'll allow it. Thank you. horse on my phone. Hoover? Hoover. I'll allow it. Thank you. I'll allow it. All right.

Are we all living in the Wild West? We are. Kia! Would you rather be a reverse centaur or a reverse mermaid? Okay. Merman. Or merman. Merman.

Wait. Let's describe these. A reverse Merman would be. Fish on top. Fish on top, legs on the bottom. So I'm walking around. Yeah. But you're a fish upstairs.

With a fish head. Can I talk? Yeah. But a reverse centaur means you've got. But you have fins. You don't have hands. You've got a horse top and a human body. So in both cases, you're walking around on two legs, but you're either a horse on top or a fish on top.

That is what the question is. Are you a fish head or a horse head? Would you rather be a fish head? Now, can you breathe? Of course you can breathe. Yeah, you have to be able to breathe. Otherwise, you're saying, would you rather be alive or dead? Or be a horse?

Well, I want to know whether I'm trying to swim with human legs. That's what I wanted to breathe. Otherwise, you're saying, would you rather be alive or dead? Or be a horse? I want to know whether I'm trying to swim with human legs. That's what I wanted to know. Are you losing some of what attracts you to being a fish top by not being in the water? If you're just walking around with a... What possible perk

exists for walking around with a fish head? None. Now, if you're under the water, at least you can blend in a little with your friends. Except you're gigantic. And you have human legs. And you can't get away from any predator

with those human legs. You're going to be out in the ocean. Do you have fins? On top, yeah. You don't have arms. Or hooves. You have hooves, too. Wait, I've got hoof arms? Of course, you're a horse. Yeah. I'm half a horse.

Stand a horse up, it's going to have what looks like- Two hooves. So I'm not just a horse head. That's how you order from Hoover. Yeah, I mean, I think you have to. I'm interested in the eating capabilities of a horse, if I'm being honest. Oh, you want to go one bite apple? One apple, one bite.

One bite apple, one bite anything. I want to be able to chomp my way through life. You just want giant teeth. Now, what kind of fish are you? I mean, do you get to choose? Can I be a barracuda on top? Does that make a difference? I don't think so.

Well, if I could be a catfish. I love the whiskers. You're sitting here saying, I'm interested in the teeth of a horse. Well, I mean, that's pretty amazing. Their chompers are world renowned. Yeah. Can you go four legs? I mean, could you put your two human legs down and then two horse legs?

Will you go? That'd be awkward. Could people ride you as a half horse? Or a half fish. They'd have to be up on your shoulders. It would just be like they can ride me now. I mean, people can do it. You climb on up.

It's like Mike saying you can't go to the bathroom outside right now if you wanted to. True freedom. True freedom is if someone could ride on my shoulders if only uh yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna be a horse face have you guys seen hotel transylvania 3 no i've heard it oh as in your children are watching it is in the it is in the van because they're i'm reminded of this because they're they're on a cruise ship and the entire staff it's fish but they walk around like people but it's it's still a fish with their head sticking straight up and it's it's a nightmare situation you don't want to be happy you'd rather be a mayor than that nightmare yes this has been exactly very well done i you got to be the horse even the orientation of your eyes and face are better if you're a horse.

100% better. Imagine how strong your upper body is going to be if you're a horse. Imagine if you ran for office of a city and you could be the mayor. Mayor. Huh? What if? Mayor, mayor. Now, I mean, let's, let's, let's.

Someone's poisoned the water tower! That was the worst whinny of all time. That was like an elephant whinny. As a fish head, let's just appropriate the fact you are on land or water, you can breathe. I mean, at least give them that. There's one perk. So the perk is you can go... I mean, snorkeling trips are off the chain.

But you're going to have to go into water to actually eat. Because, I mean, you have fins. I would have to have. You have no neck. You can't turn. Well, I guess some fish can turn. I'm not going to be able to catch nothing. No, you're dead.

You're dead. Fish head is dead. Give me the horse. That's what mom always used to say. The horse for sure. Fish head is dead. That's what mom always used to say. Fish head is dead. That's a great question. All right, this question comes in from Joe Calderon. What's up, Joe?

He said, recently my wife and I got into the podcast. She loves it. Thank you, Joe. Please settle something for us. Do you have to rinse the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher? She says, yes. I say, if you're going to waste the water to rinse them, you might as well just wash them by hand.

This is a very interesting question. Look, I've always taken the approach that you want to give the plate a little bit of help in the dishwasher. Just a quick spritz of water. I feel like the water is somehow breaking down the food molecules ahead of time. As opposed to all the water in the dishwasher that does it. Well, as opposed to, yes, exactly. As opposed to all the, you've never soaked a dish? Yeah, no, I've soaked a dish.

Why do you soak the dish? I soak a dish to make it easier for me to clean the dish. Yeah, and that's the principle behind slightly wetting a dish before you put it in the dishwasher. By the time you run the dishwasher that night, I feel like you've loosened up the food molecules. If you're not going to rinse, you have to wash right away. You load the dishwasher, you've got to start it nearly immediately.

I can get behind that. You load the dishwasher. You got to start it nearly immediately. I can get behind that. Because there's not much worse than pulling out the pot from the dishwasher. Oh, spit. And it's got stuck on food. But no, it's not just stuck on food. It's tiny little daggers that you have to figure out how to scratch off.

Let me ask you a genuine question. Do you think that those, let's say there are little bits of food on it after you wash it. Do you think those are detrimental to your health at that point? No. In any way, shape, or form? The heat has killed everything. That's what I'm wondering. But they're detrimental to your mental health.

Because it doesn't matter if there's bacteria on there that's actually going to affect you. If I'm eating off of a plate with nasty, baked-in pieces of ex-food, I want to, like, former girlfriend, I don't know, like an ex. This was food yesterday. This was the former. This was my food before. It's no longer. The former meal.

Exactly. I mean, that's disgusting. I would want to throw up. Well, because you could always scratch that food no longer. The farmer meal. Exactly. I mean, that's disgusting. I would want to throw up. Well, because you could always scratch that food up on accident into your meal. Oh. But here's the thing. Grody. Is this a good place to talk ill of my wife?

This is a safe place. I'm sure she won't listen. Because I need to know. I need to know the truth of whether or not. You're on your own. You know how you pick your battles, right? And I don't know whether this is a battle that I should just let go i mean it's been like 11 years so maybe i should but here sounds like you gotta get something every time either way you're doomed yeah

you're doomed so just walk keep digging no no i'm not doomed i i want to i'm genuinely pulling you two fine gentlemen okay all right every time... Now, she'll put in the... At night, she runs the dishwasher. It's like her routine before bed. She just puts the thing in and runs it. She'll put them away, too, which is just, like, super nice. So I rarely do that anymore.

It's just... She runs it at night. She puts it away when I'm gone in the morning. Cool. However, all of it gets put away without being dried sufficiently. What?

How does that even make sense? Because the dishwasher won't... Kids' cups are cups. It's moist. And sometimes you pull a bowl out and it's got a little water in it. Wait, she puts the dishes in the dishwasher at night and puts them away in the morning? Yeah. You got a dishwasher problem, my friend.

It's also the angle that you put it in. Exactly. If a bowl is tipped backwards, it's going to hold water, and it's not going to dry all that out. What I'm saying is wherever I go around to get a dish or anything, it's like an 80% chance that that dish is moist. Now, would that concern you from a bacteria perspective? What are your concerns there? Because I'm always saying and and part of it is she'll take out the wet cup she'll put the top on it and put it away oh that's a problem right

because she won't even let it dry out she puts the top on it and then there's just there's just water inside there is now an ecosystem inside that's what i've been saying for 10 to 11 years life in their single-celled organisms oh yeah i don't think that at all i don't think that at all In their single-celled organisms. Oh, yeah. I don't think that at all. I don't think that at all. You got a clean cup with a little bit of moisture on it.

But that moisture stays for weeks if I don't. When you put a top on it. Put a little bit of moisture, Jason, in your bread bag. Seal that up and see what happens. You want to know the big difference in that situation? Bread. One has it, one doesn't. But we're talking about the microscopic level. Put a piece of wet bread in your cup and seal it up.

No, no, no. I didn't say put wet bread. I said put a couple drops in the bag and see what happens. But the point is there's something to grow on. Yeah. There's a glass. So do you think that this is an issue? I mean...

I don't think it's an issue. When I get dishes... She's slowly poisoning you. In 60 years, your immune system will be broken down to the point. We have children, guys. When I put the dishes away. Had children. Before this. If there is water.

The wet dish got them. If there is water on the bottom of the cup that's upside down or whatever, I just do the like, throw it out. I'll give it a shake. Give it a little flick. And then I put it in the cupboard. That's it.

I mean, I don't- So you put most of them away wet. I do. But also, I fully, 100% clean the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. Full clean. It's a problem. You told me that this was something. I remember this story.

You said growing up you had to do that. Yeah. And now you do it as a routine. Yeah, well, I don't trust the dishwasher. I just don't. I don't think the technology is advanced enough to where we're actually doing much to those dishes in there. No, so what I need to do truly is a science experiment.

I need to take a meal, scrape off the plate, leave it on the counter wait four hours five hours six hours go to bed whatever and then the next day without putting one drop of water i want to load that dishwasher with those dishes and see what happens do i get is there any chance I get clean dishes out of there? Because if that dishwasher comes out clean, then I've just improved the rest of my life. But if that dishwasher comes out dirty, then I go,

I was right to wash all of the dishes before putting them in. And then I can just get the double wash. Now, why don't you just wash them and then put them away? Because I don't believe that that's clean. I need the scalding. So you don't trust yourself or the dishwasher. That's correct.

Only them together. But with our powers combined, Captain Planet. So do you go sanitary boost on the water temperature? Every time? The normal run of a dishwasher is already scalding lava hot. I mean, if you're near a dishwasher when it's running, the steam is coming out of it. I mean, I think it sanitizes.

I don't put the sanitize button on. I think it's unnecessary. Well, I think the regular temperature is like, it's probably pretty close to how you. Nah, the shower is not nearly as hot as that. We should move on. This question comes from Thomas Pebbles on Twitter. Is it necessary to brush your teeth while you are camping?

I mean, if you're pooping without a toilet, it seems that you can eat without brushing. Another Wild West question. Oh, man, we're living in the... The side effects of the Wild West, those teeth were bad. Oh, yeah. And then living in the... The side effects of the Wild West, those teeth were bad. Oh, yeah. And then there was bad dentistry. Yeah.

A lot of teeth pulling going on. People pulled out their own teeth with pliers. Gross. They had pliers? Do you brush your teeth? Of course they had pliers. Do you brush your teeth when you camp? What?

I don't understand. I have never brushed my teeth when I've camped. I don't understand this comparison because you say, well, if you go to the bathroom without a toilet, but you still clean up afterwards. I mean, you're not a savage. Dude, maybe. I mean, you don't know this guy. I'm not a camper. So tell me.

No, of course. You bring toilet paper to the campsite. Exactly. So why would I'm calling you out. You don't brush your teeth? I cannot think of a time I've brushed my teeth on a camping trip ever. I can... I've never gone...

Do the germs know you're on a camping trip? I'm on vacation. So they are here. The essence of a camping trip is roughing it. I mean, that doesn't mean the execution of it is. But you bring toilet paper. Normally, there's like like campgrounds have those little like porta potty things with toilet paper correct you need to pick a side are you roughing

it or are you not well i'm saying most every modern person doesn't rough it but i'm saying that i don't think about brushing my teeth because when i get up in the morning you know you're just you're having the hot coffee and you're just i've never brushed my teeth i have always brought the toothbrush when i go camping and i will say this my intent is always to use it but you never have no i i certainly have but there are definitely the mornings where you wake up you get out you stretch you're out in the you go on you're hiking and then you next thing you know life has moved on you don't taste your mouth i don't think so how often do you forget to brush at your own house never do you brush in the morning or at night morning morning oh that makes it easy i only brush at night that's madness that's madness absolute madness i don't know how you could wake

up in a normal day routine and not brush your teeth before leaving the house that that seems strange to me which one which part the morning part because i don't want to wake up and brush because then my coffee is going to taste like toothpaste well if you have coffee that's all the more reason to brush right i just i feel like you eat your food right then. Do you brush after lunch? No. Do you brush after breakfast? But I'll pop some gum. Brushing it up? I brush after.

If you're going to have breakfast, you brush after breakfast. You don't have gum every day? No, not every day. So that's... Now you're a liar, Mike. But bad breath does not just come from food. I brush at night. What is the more important aspect of brushing?

Is it the health of the teeth so they don't fall out, you don't get cavities? Is this the worry, or is it the breath? Oh, it's 100% the teeth. It's the breath. This is perfect. I'm sitting where I should be sitting because this was a question I was just wrestling with because I'm on both sides of that. The breath is washed away once you eat breakfast.

I mean, it's not going to make a difference to you. If you have a cup of coffee and eat breakfast, it doesn't matter whether you have... You're not going to have morning breath still. It's gone. It returns. It doesn't return. I feel like it returns no the morning the morning breath is like the jedi look you talked about a moist ecosystem that's what happens in your mouth when

you sleep and either you brush in the morning to get rid of it or you eat food and drink and then it's gone i need to know do you think do you think everyone listening is like wait a minute wait a minute uh are you telling me they only brush in the morning or at night? Because they do both. Yeah, most people. Those are weirdos. A lot of people do both. Those are just dentists.

Are we? My kids and my wife. Well, my wife might brush twice. But all the kids brush only at night. Oh, I make my kids brush before school for sure so they don't get picked on. What if you're out camping so they don't get picked on what if you're out camping so they don't get picked on what if you're out camping and you're you'll you had to choose between toilet paper or a toothbrush you'd always oh toilet paper what if you only had a toothbrush and you had to choose

how to use it i'm gonna brush my teeth bro so anyway i utility is it i have to clean with a toothbrush right right you either clean with a toothbrush. Right, right. You either clean with a toothbrush, but obviously you're not going to use it for... Is it motorized? Sure. It's your own portable bidet. That's not a bidet. No, it isn't.

That's a scrubbing brush. You need the water pick. All right. Yeah, can I get the water flosser? We're going to get the water flosser. Let's move on. Waterflosser. We're going to get the waterflosser.

Let's move on. The Spitballers Draft. All right, today's mock draft is going to be game shows, and we're going to stick with the snake draft format, the serpentine format. So if you pick first, it goes one, two, three, three, two, one, and so on. We did this last week. I believe Jason's first. Jason's first.

Oh, no. So we did our serpentine snake draft last week for the first time. Vacation destinations. Did you just post the poll? I posted the poll right before we started recording this episode. So we did not know the results. And I am sad to say this is that i am getting crushed which is foolish my places were the best hold on oh mike and i are neck and neck you're telling me the the the draft where we could have gone anywhere in the world and you picked just california locations you're losing two california

locations i was getting crushed by by friends outside the show because i didn't go global enough mike and i are the swiss alps cancun and paris mike and i just went global mike and i are at 41 and 40 wow so we are this one's gonna be down to the wire. I'm going to make a comeback. I feel it. Uh-huh. Wait. So we're doing it. Hold on. If he's at 41 and I'm at 40.

He's at 19%. Yeah. So we're going to do game shows today. Dang it. That was the idea. I got the first pick. Oh, there's a 101. Get out of here.

There is no way. Easy. Easy. There is for me. Easy. Easy. There is for me. Easy. Jason. All right. Well, you get to pick first, my friend.

I'll tell you what I'm doing today because I'm usually a pad the polls type of guy. I go for whatever is going to win today. I'm going with game shows. I just actually love. I love watching because there's a lot, you know, look, I'll throw out Jeopardy as one of the biggest, best game shows of all time. Sure. I mean,

get out of here. I don't ever watch it. What a stupid show. What's your 101, Jay? My 101. Stop stalling. I'm not stalling. I know what it is because it's the combination of it's a big, famous one that is awesome. I love it. I would what it is because it's the combination of it's a big famous one that is awesome. I love it.

I would watch it with any host because I've watched it with so many different hosts. Oh, it's the family feud. That's a good one. That is a good one. That's not your one on one. Nope. No, I know what it is. Unfortunately, I think I'm going to take Mike's.

Yeah. Look, I grew up with it. I loved it. There's no way it was making it to me. I loved missing school so that I could watch it yeah uh it's still great so many commercials so many commercials it's the prices right yeah that's the 101 the show is a commercial like literally the show is a commercial of like how much does this this cost? It's a genius idea. But man, the showcase showdowns, watching those prizes, the excitement, Bob Barker. Are you a Bob Barker guy?

I am a Bob Barker guy, yeah. Okay. I'm fine with Drew. Because I'm not opposed to him. He's grown into the role and he's actually very enjoyed it. But all of my childhood is marked by, you know. I prefer Drew Carey at this point. Interesting.

Yeah. Bob Barker was just boring. He was a boring old man. Sorry, Bob Barker lovers. There was two really easy picks, I feel like, for this particular draft. So it's super unfortunate that I had to take the third spot. Now you get two picks in a row. Great. I can't think of unfortunate that I had to take the third spot. Now you get two picks in a row. Great.

I can't think of one that I want. There's a couple out there. I know there's great ones, but there's no obvious like that's the one I got to grab because it's not coming back to me. I know where you're going. All right. One of the two. Well, the first one I'm going to go with is I don't want any whammies in my life.

No whammy, no whammy. Stop. I'm going to take pressure luck. I don't know that whammies in my life. No whammy, no whammy. Stop. I'm going to take Press Your Luck. I don't know that show. I have no idea what show that is. Are you freaking kidding me? When you said no whammies, all I could think of was Anchorman. What is Press Your Luck?

Are you joking? I've never heard of it. I've never heard of it. That was my second favorite show growing up. Wow. Now, is it possible that this was one that your family played, like in the evenings? And they recorded yourselves and then won the VHS tapes? No, trust me.

The social media will let you guys know that you're idiots, that you don't know what Press Your Luck is. You might be right, but then again, I've looked at a bunch of lists, and I've never seen Press Your Luck on them. Yeah, but I guess we're pressing our luck, Andy. I guess so. Yeah, you certainly are. Mike seems as angry over this revelation that we don't know what it is, which, by the way, if we don't know what it is, that's really not our fault. No, it's not our fault.

It's the Press Your Luck's fault. You've never heard No Whammy, No Whammy Stop. No, when you said that, I thought it was a movie. I thought Anchorman Whammy. That's the only thing that came to mind. I just looked at another list of 25 game shows, and I cannot find this thing. Wait, wait, wait. It's called Press Your Luck Game Show.

I want to look at the logo, the people. Here's what it says. A press release. Press Your Luck was only available in a select number of homes growing up. In 1952. In 1952. Oh, okay. Cool.

Sorry, man. You better make another pick. Nice first pick. You could have had that with your last pick, okay, cool. Sorry, man. You better make another pick. Nice first pick. You could have had that with your last pick, but go on. You certainly could have because I am shocked. I couldn't have drafted it. Me neither. For Mike's next pick, he's going with cup or a can.

Hold on a second. Cup or a can. Cup or a can was such a great game show. Is it a cup or is it a can? Okay, let me just state this. Press Your Luck aired from 1983 to 1986. Okay, so when I was two, then the repeats were on when I was growing up. Correct.

You watched the Press Your Luck repeat channel with three full seasons of Press Your Luck. Here's the thing. You say the social media will come out and let us know that they know it. And that's true for those who know. Everyone that doesn't know usually stays quiet, but I'm calling you spit wads. Let us know if you have never heard of

Press Your Luck. Yes, please do. Don't let Mike win this social media battle. This could be the greatest show that's ever existed. I have no idea. I'm baffled. Yeah, well, I was born in 1984, and the show was over by 86. I watched it in the 90s. Yeah, I mean, then again, Price is Right has been going since 1972 until now. Go on, Mike.

What's your second pick? Because that was the easy pick. Password. The name is Password. All right, there's two shows I'm deciding between not worried. I couldn't agree more. Mike is amazing because he can consistently do this to us. Yeah, he picks.

I mean, his reservoir of knowledge, it's, I don't know that it's deeper, but it's different. It's, you know that it's deeper, but it's different. I don't know if it's deeper, but it's different. Okay. You got press your luck. Move on. Just grab Jeopardy, man. Do yourself a favor. No, I will not.

I will not grab Jeopardy. Oh, my gosh. I have a question for you guys after Mike makes a second pick. All right. Well, apparently I need some star power now. So I'm going with. I'm going to take the show I like more. So I'm going to take who wants to be a millionaire.

Oh, no. I really wanted that to come back. I thought that that would not. I'm surprised. It was a short. I'm surprised you've heard of that show, Jason. It was a short run when it was it was a surprise it was a short surprise you've heard of that show Jason it was it was a short run like when it was in its prime but when it was in its prime it was must watch tv it was must like literally everyone at school yeah would be talking about did you see

the guy won the million dollars last night and you would all it was one of those rare like it felt like the olden days gather gather around the transistor radio. It was a nationwide event. The kids liked it. The grandparents liked it. And so, yeah, no, I love Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. You didn't press your luck with that one. That's just a good pick.

Now, I'm up, and I have a pick that I want real bad. And technically under Wikipedia, it is sorted under American game shows. No, no. I want Survivor. Survivor is not a game show. I want Survivor. Survivor is... It's not a game show.

Yeah. That's Survivor... I mean, this is up to you. Now, I get it. I knew where you were going. Survivor is not... Wikipedia is listed as a game show. I mean, I'll allow it because that show sucks.

Jason? Oh, that show is the truth. That show is the truth. I think there are so many people that love it. There's no press your luck. I don't think, I genuinely don't think it's a game show because a game show is- You win money.

Centered around a board game style that's done in a show. I mean, I feel like- It's not a classic, but it's a modern version of game show. Isn't there a genre that Survivor spawned? You can call it a reality show. Yes, Survivor spawned reality shows. So I don't think it's a game show. It's a reality. Like reality show, the Kardashians.

It's a reality show because it's just a show watching other people live this is a competitive game there is an end goal to be the last one and you win a million bucks or whatever right look i'm not gonna be bent out of shape either way you guys make the call but you gotta make it you gotta make it together it's fine with me because the goal of the show is to win a prize, which is also known as a game. I think it is not a game show, but I'm going to allow it because I know how much Andy loves Survivor. And we let you take the sampler platter and appetizers. Well, it's an appetizer.

So, yeah. All right. All right. I'm taking Survivor. Survivor has lasted the test of time, 30 plus seasons. My wife and I adore it. We watch it every year.

Yeah, but do we make it three three i would dominate on that show i've never heard of this uh survivor that you're picking um all right wow i got away with that all right jason you're up what's crazy though for a show that's 30 seasons oh more than that yeah i have seen two episodes of that show i have seen two or three clips of episodes of that show. So really, you can't speak to whether that show sucks or not. If you have seen two episodes of 37 seasons, which is, by the way, they're in their 37th season. That is crazy.

That tells you that those who love it watch it forever. Clearly. So do they have multiple seasons in a calendar year? Yes, they do. That makes sense. It's normally three. They're padding the stats. Two to three seasons.

That's cheating. Well, I didn't say years, Mike. I said seasons. Right, but when you say there's a season of a television show, there's one a year. I see. I see. Yeah, they do at least two a year.

So they've been around for 15 years? Because it makes it sound like that show's been around since... Like our grandparents were playing Survivor. Yeah, Survivor debuted in the year 2000. So 18 years, two seasons a year. There you go. Got it. So not three.

All right. I am on the clock here. And I'm going to... Now that Mike has gone with presser luck, I don't worry about losing in the polls, and I can go with my heart even more. This is probably my favorite game show of all time. I haven't watched it as much as the Family Feud.

That's just a delicious treat that you can always pop on. Oh, you can jump in. The best thing about Family Feud is. Who's the worst Family Feud host?'s just a delicious treat that you can always pop on. Oh, you can jump in. The best thing about Family Feud is – Who's the worst Family Feud host? Is it Al Borland? Oh, I forgot that he was. He was so cringy. What was the –

His jokes were so cringy. What was the overweight guy with the gap in his teeth? Louie? Louie Anderson. Yeah, Louie. He was so hot and cold. Sometimes I would love him, and sometimes I'd be like, he's creeping me out big time.

The Family Feud. Yeah, the one who creeped me out is and i guess different era but richard dawson who's like the og host i watched that and i'm like he's like grabbing i'm like bro what do you stop leave the ladies alone man bubble harvey's the best gross no harvey's great steve harvey is just he cracks me up so much and the when he makes fun of people on that show it's a delight he dead pans them it's so great yeah uh what's your pick jason my pick is the 100 000 pyramid you guys remember that it was basically it's taboo it's the game taboo which i love say get people to guess this word without saying those five words now clearly i know that show but i genuinely have never watched it. Oh, it is

so good. I've never seen it. You love it? Yeah, it's older, but I love it. As a person who hasn't seen it, I'm not going to say that it sucks. It's just I'm more mature. That's very big of you. You guys have left me a couple of the statements. Oh, whoa, whoa. Oh, no, it's mine. He gets another pick.

Oh, he does. Oh, I was not prepared. Oh, no. Do you know how Snake Draft works. Oh, he does. Oh, I was not prepared. Oh, no. Do you know how Snake Draft works, Mr. Fantasy Football? I've never heard of it. Okay, so now here's another thing. So if we're going shows I love, and now all of a sudden Survivor's a game show because it's classified as that, there's another one that is classified as a game show that I love. Is there a prize at the end?

I don't know. Well, then we'll tell you. Then it's not a game. We'll tell you. Well, there is a prize, but I love. Is there a prize at the end? I don't know. Well, then we'll tell you. Then it's not a game. We'll tell you. Well, there is a prize, but it's not a monetary prize. It's whose line is it anyways? No. Well, let me think about that.

Yeah, you guys think. I mean, it's. There's no. That's a comedy show. But there's no tangible prize. Yeah, you're not. There's not a competition, really. Oh, no, they compete.

But at the end, they just say, oh, you won. What did you win? You won the show. Yeah, because then you're going to get into Impractical Jokers and all these other ones. That's not really a game show. I vote no. Okay. Hypocritically. That's fine. I gave you Survivor. Okay. I'm going to

take... So, based on Survivor, I could go with The Biggest Loser, which was a great show, but a little too close to home without the beard. Can't go there today. That's a good idea. I'm going to go with Deal or No Deal. Wow.

I enjoyed that. You're going with Deal or No Deal? Yeah. It was a good show. I enjoyed it. That was Harvey? No. Howie? Yes. that you're going with deal or no deal yeah it was a good show i enjoyed it was there it that was uh harvey i mean not howie howie howie mandel of game shows where you literally did nothing oh you're saying and then it just leads into a commercial no not a commercial i'm saying the

entire game is is just random do you want to take this deal nah okay how about this deal no this deal yeah that's the one wow that's that's entertainment i'm just i'm just there are so many there are no that's i've talked down your picks there are no there's a tilt this was an this was an unprepared pick the survivor thing opens up so many shows that I would pick now. There's one that I clearly should have just gone with. I love Lucy. Look, I'm going to go. There are two stalwarts that haven't been picked yet, which is crazy.

But I'm going to go with the one that I think has the more likable host that I enjoyed more as a child uh and as an adult wheel of fortune yeah i'm taking wheel of fortune that would have been my next pick i like pat sajak more than i do alex trebek um yeah i i thought about that it's too mainstream i've got more wheel of fortune intelligence in me than i do jeopardy intelligence so uh i'm going with wheel of fortune do you do does anybody here like i'd rather have a drink with Pat Sajak than I would Alex Trebek. Actually know someone who can watch Jeopardy and just... And know the answers?

And know the answers. Because I've never met one of those humans in my life. Every once in a while... We're all just learning. You've come across a topic and you know them and you feel so incredibly smart. Yes. That you know one and you feel so incredibly smart. Yeah. That you know one category. It's like trivia.

But it's one of those things where you watch movies and all the time there will be a character on there that's not that smart. They're watching Jeopardy and they know the answers. Like, no, you don't. This is not realistic. All right. So this is back to Mike. Yeah.

All right. So we're going to go four rounds. Yes. All right. So we're going to go four rounds. Yes. All right. That's okay. So my first pick, I'm going to go with the deal show that Jason should have picked. And that's Let's Make a Deal. That show that was actually referenced on this show either last week or the week before.

Oh, that's what's behind this door. Yeah. What's behind the curtain. Now, do you know the show Let's Make a Deal, Jason? I have heard of it. I have not watched it. Oh, it's fabulous. Now they have it.

People dress up. And that's... I made fun of your show, but this show is really the exact same thing. Yeah, it's 100% the same. When you were saying that, I was like, wait a minute. The show you were referencing last week was that. I have no choice. Oh.

All right. Final pick. Man. Mr. Do you know how snake drafts work? I'm going to take Jeopardy. Oh. He's trying to make up for pressing your luck. Unbelievable.

So you have pressed your luck. Who wants to be a millionaire, which is a great pick. Let's make a deal in jeopardy. I'm not going to win. I'm going to give you some credit here. When Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, was that its peak? That was like a cultural phenomenon. Yes.

And the anticipation that that show would build up in people was amazing. Now, let me ask you this. The demographic of this show, do we have a lot of people in their 60s and 50s listening to this show? Doubtful. You're not going to do very well. Jeopardy seems like a bad pick.

So I get my final pick? Yep. I mean, I could lean in here. I'm thinking about Amazing Race. Since these are all allowed. Because you win a million dollars. You opened Pandora's box, Mike.

No, no, that's fine. Let me ask you this. I have a pit. I'm regretting my last pick so much. I know what I should have gone with. Can I pick Fear Factor? Yeah. Yeah, of course.

I'm going to close it out with Fear Factor. That was a very, very popular show. Very, I think, of course. I'm going to close it out with Fear Factor. Oh, I was a very, very popular show. Very, I think, compelling television. So I was about to make my pick. I'm trying. Can I change my last? No, you cannot change your last pick. No, no, no.

You got Jeopardy, Mike. You thought of one. Yeah, I know exactly what I want. So I was about to go a couple different directions. The last pick, I was thinking American Idol. I mean, I love American Idol. Yeah, you could do that. The voice.

But on principle, it's just not a game show. So like all these amazing races, Survivor, whatever. On principle, I will not go with American Idol. So I was going to go with a game show that I barely remembered, but I came across on a list here and I was like, oh man, do you guys remember Hollywood Squares? Yeah, it's a great show. It's a great show. But for some reason when Andy said Fear Factor,

it reminded me of a childhood to light. Say it, Mike. Double Dare. Double Dare! It's Double Dare. That's the show that I should have gone with. Was unbelievable. I mean, you're reaching up into...

I thought you were going to go with The Apprentice. Picking... I mean, yeah. Double Dare is great. You're going to get a lot of... You'll get the opposite of what Mike will get for Jeopardy. Yeah. Yeah.

I realize the error... Nobody has ever watched both of them. I realize the error of my way. I feel like if I could write Double Dare in the colors on Twitter and remind people of what Double Dare was, I'd get 10 times more votes. You know the show's back. I do. I saw it

like last week. My kids were watching it and when they're reaching up for cards inside of giant nostrils and pulling out boogers and getting nasty. Such a good show. This is great. This is great television. That was the show I was most jealous of people for when they had cable.

Yeah, because that was a Nickelodeon show. Mike, you're winning 41 to 39 now. Well, that's good because I'm about to lose with the lowest score of all time. What's your team, Mike? I don't know. Press your luck. Who wants to be a millionaire? Let's make a deal, Jeopardy.

Jason has Family Feud, the 100 000 you only have the thousand dollar pyramid sorry darn it the hundred thousand dollar pyramid deal or no deal and double dare and i went the price is right survivor wheel of fortune and fear factor if i could do it all over i would just take all the nickelodeon game shows nothing why wouldn't you just take all the early, like, low runs? Well, I didn't. Look, I could have gone with, like, match game and password. But those shows are great. The newlywed game.

The newlywed game. Those all, they didn't run in a very small two-year window in the early 80s, though. Yeah, otherwise they would have been his first or second thing. You really pressed your luck in this one. For things that I've learned, the fact that that show only ran for three years is blowing my mind right now. Because I'm telling you, behind Price is Right, that was the game show I watched when I was homesick. I was going to say, you just watched years and years of repeats of that show. Yeah.

Well, when I was little, I probably saw the same show three times. I didn't know. Yep. little. I probably saw the same show three times. I didn't know. What I learned today, I learned that we should really go into business copywriting things. Pizza subscription. Oh my gosh. Uber.

We should be a think tank. Uber was the good one. Uber was a real, that's a solid pick. Your horse will be here in two days. I learned that Jason is extremely jealous of a horse's chompers. He wants to chew food. And he's got a baby face.

Thanks for supporting the show. Got a fat baby face. See you next Monday. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to,

check out spitballerspod.com.