Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 239: Aging Into Things & The Perfect Pasta - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

On today’s show, we banter about lawn mowing, breakfast fish, and telekinesis. We also offer up some free and life advice to a few lucky listeners. Lastly, we finish things up with a draft of the perfect pasta dish. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Blibbity-bloppity-bloogity-bloogity-blop-blop-do-da-bop. Oh, yeah! Yes! The pace was awesome! I liked it a lot. Coincidentally.

The ending was great. That's the sound of a man falling down a hill. Yeah, no, no, that is. In a cartoon. Live audio. Welcome into the Spitballers Podcast, episode 239, Al Borland in the building. What's up, Spitwads? Sitting next to Judge Giamatti himself.

Hey-o. And Andy, Mike, and Jason back with you. Another illuminating episode is in store. Of course. When did we switch that the judge was sitting in on all the shows when we sit in all of them it's just that al needs a lot of oversight and it's just sometimes it's redundancy you know it's important that the show otherwise do you know how many episodes we've recorded they haven't gotten to you yes 50 it's it's been a lot. How do you feel about us having

so many shows together and then we were like, yeah, you need someone back there with you to help. I appreciate Brooks and everything he does. Now I do feel like if Brooks is going to be sitting in here, we've got to make him scat at some point.

Oh! Brooks has had one scat before. I'm here more than you realize, I think. Yeah, Brooks is always here. Brooks has done a scat? He has. He did a rig-dig-dig-dig-dig. Yeah.

Something along those lines. Oh, a little Andy Bernard? That's exactly the inspiration. Yeah, no. That happened? Was Mike insinuating that? Mike and I do not remember this. I remember it.

I remember it. I remember it. I think maybe Al was out, so I was substituting Al and Scott. Was Mike implicating the fact that you didn't think he was normally here? He hasn't been a full-time. Since the evolution of the Spitballers podcast, he wasn't always there. But it's been a long time that he's been there. I know. I'm just saying that there was, I don't know, probably half of the shows?

Or you've been in all that time? You're just so- I think more than that. Wow. I think more than that, too. When did we hire this guy? Mike must not have a good angle at seeing who's behind the monitor. Welcome in.

Life advice, would you rather, and a perfect pasta dish draft coming your way yeah and here we go would you rather would you rather question from jeff would you rather be stuck outside for 12 days straight, never going inside a home or a building, or stuck inside of your home for 120 days straight, not even allowed in your backyard? What month is it?

It's a great question. I mean, we've got to have a little bit more detail. It is a temperate climate. Oh, okay. It gets a little chilly at detail. It is a temperate climate. Oh, okay. It gets a little chilly at night. It gets a little hot in the afternoon. So like September. September is a nightmare outside.

I was going to say March, late March. I just told you. It gets a little cold at night. It's a little hot for three hours in the afternoon, and then it's pretty okay. Okay. So 12 days straight of camping that's a lot that's wow we said the opposite at the same time i was literally saying

that's not a long time and you were saying that's a long time it's a long time to camp have you camped before tent and sleeping bag have you gone camping a lot yes no i mean yes to the first question have you gone camping before the a lot part is no i've never camped really never a once in a in a tent nope i think everybody should do it once oh absolutely when i was growing up we did it quite often i mean that was like one of our go-to uh can you call that a vacation i don't know yes yes getaway excursion excursion um we would go camping all the time but never more than like three days 12 is a lot if you went to four days it's like okay three days was right i can't imagine going to 12 and you said you can't go inside a home or building but i could go like shower in the pool or whatever.

Like go rinse off in the pool. I mean, I'm, am I on the property? Al? We need some rules here. Yeah. Am I in a, like, is it like my existing home and I just have to close the door and then I'm outside? It could be anywhere you want.

You could, you could roam. So I need to make sense. That's the beauty of being outside. We can just go anywhere. Am I packing for this? No. So I've got to go find some food every day. Yeah.

Do I got a wallet for 12 days? Yeah, you can buy food. Okay. But you got to eat it outside, obviously. So for all intents and purposes, I'm a homeless person for 12 days. But you can't walk through the drive-thru. They won't serve you. They will not allow that.

You're going to have to literally give a stranger your card and say, well, you go buy this for me. Farmer's market. I'm going outside to one of those. Hold on. That'll work. So back to the drive-thru. Is this a safety thing that they have declared? Yeah, because it's for cars. That's why.

Yeah, but they won't let you on a bicycle. I've run into a couple folks that seem like they'd be willing to give me a burger. I'm sure I could make it through a drive-thru. You can't. If I told them my situation. You think they're that rule-focused? I think so. I think they're going to lay down the law and they're going to say,

sir, this is for vehicles only. What if I give you an extra 20? That's what I'm going to say, and they'll be like, sure. Yeah. I've never gone that route. What if you say you identify as a car oh you just beep i am a car um i just make car sounds yeah i'm sure i am in my car we have a camera you're gonna have to speak up my engine's really. I'll take a whopper. If you serve foot traffic, according to Brooks, who's often here during the show,

there's safety and insurance risks serving foot traffic. So insurance makes sense. If they serve you, they're saying it's okay to do what you're doing, which would be a liability if you get hurt doing it. Now, I think this is really just an anti-homeless people rule that they're coming up with. This is really rude of fast food establishments to say you have to have a car. No, the only time I've run into something. They can go in the building. They're not under this.

Oh, that's right. Not Taco Bell at 2 a.m., my man. Yeah, they locked down the interior. The lobby is shut down. Also, the homeless people are discriminated against between 12 and 2 a.m. I'm just talking about me trying to roll up to Taco Bell when I'm... I mean, is this question kind of like, it's basically like you're homeless, but you just can't ever go into any other building.

You're building-less. Because you could be in your backyard i 120 days straight stuck inside um look i know from the covid days the quarantine was what 30 days or something it was not good 120 days is a long time there was actually a movie i don't remember if it was called the pink cloud. Have any of you guys see this movie? Nope. I think I know what you're talking.

So he came out a few years ago and ironically it was made before the pandemic or anybody even knew about the pandemic, but it almost tied right into it where this pink cloud comes and settles through a city. And what ends up happening is, is if you can't go outside, nobody can go outside ever again. And so they set up this system where they're like, you know, you're stuck inside and they can deliver stuff to like almost like a drive through window at your house.

That's an airlock so that food gets delivered. But everybody lives inside forever. Wow. Didn't seem great. It didn't seem like a good time. The movie was all right. Do you remember? Just just first a yes or no.

Do you remember the just first a yes or no do you remember the first yes restaurant that you went to after you know when it was like the quarantine you hadn't gone out you you hadn't done anything do you do you remember like i'm at a restaurant i remember but i remember it was like oh my gosh i'm out in public at a place again no just me I don't know I remember door dashing a burrito from Chipotle during quarantine and as I ate my burrito I'm like I'm going to get COVID from the burrito because yeah because I couldn't not get Chipotle you thought you had made the sacrifice? Worth it. There was a percentage chance that my family was going to get it because I needed Chipotle.

You had made a Sophie's choice. I think you've got to take the time here. Just the 12 days? I'm taking the 12 days. It's 12 days. It's going to suck. You're going to have to. It might be refreshing.

I think it will be more revealing than refreshing. I don't think I'll be refreshed at the end of this. I think I'll be like, let me in. Yeah, that's what I'm going with. But I will certainly have a higher respect for the homeless. No teasing this out, but quick question. If it was 12 days outside or 30 days inside? Oh, I'm inside. Inside.

I could take 30 days, no problem. Simeon from the website, would you rather have the ability to shape shift or have telekinesis? That's mind bullets. That's what telekinesis is? Yeah, telekinesis is move stuff with your mind. Oh.

So theoretically you can also move bullets is what you're saying. Exactly. It's not just mind bullets. It's not just mind bullets, but that's like quoting tenacious D. Oh, thank you. The people knew. Shapeshift or have telekinesis. Shapeshift, is there any limits to that?

I could become a chair? I mean, you know, could become a chair i mean no i become a bowling ball i think you can i become other people only i usually it would be other people shape shifters go from people to people but i will argue in favor of the fact that if you can control your body to change shapes and size and colors, you should be able to change it to look like a cactus. I just want to know the limits on either of these. Like telekinesis, am I moving anything anywhere ever?

I think so. No. I do not think so. That is ridiculous, and I would never agree to that. I'm saying it's like a muscle. So number one, you're going to have to work it out. Oh, it gets sore? There will be.

Oh, yeah. You get headaches? Migraines, like you wouldn't believe. You can't move the moon. But yeah, there has to be a limit on weight that you can actually move. I'm trying to do it right now. Because if you could move anything with your mind. I'm trying to move one of those lights above your head, Mike, to fall on you.

Just keep trying. It's not doing nothing. Any moment now. nope i mean who who among us hasn't tried to move with your mind at some point i have 100 i have yeah i remember being uh moving for a young man and really giving it my all just i i had one day after a star wars episode or episode? I don't think so, but something sparked the curiosity and the creativity in me. What is giving it your all? Giving it my all. It's a great question.

Giving it my all was probably spending an hour. But were you tensing up your body? Were you just thinking about it real hard? Staring? Is it staring? All of the above. Trying to figure out. Look, there is a special sauce here, and I got to figure out.

Is it belief? I have wondered that. Is it just I got to believe hard enough? Yes. Is it focus and energy? What is it? But I'm here to tell you, I don't think it's possible. That's funny you said the belief thing, because there's been part of me going like if i could convince myself that

i could move that i would yeah because that's all it's holding you back it's just that i i know deep down that i can't do it so i can't you know not with an attitude like that. So if only I could truly believe. I'm here to tell you it's not possible, huh? That's very funny. So there's got to be a weight limit. Let's say for the telekinesis? Yeah, I'll put it at. Can you move a person?

I will put it at whatever you can. Move in real life. Bench or squat. Yeah, I can move a person. I mean, I'm trying to. Honestly, I'm. It's going to leave you breathless. If I can move a person, that's-

Take my breath away, the majesty. I'll be like, whoa, I'm breathless. It's funny. If I can move a person with my mind, it controls some people hard. Now, the shape-shifting I can too because I can appear like anybody they know. Oh, you are a celebrity. You want that reservation?

You want to go to the Met Gala? You want to get into the fanciest table at the fanciest restaurant? Just walk right in, Mr. Clooney. Who hasn't wanted to live one day in Joe Biden's body? Oh, yeah. Right this way, Mr. President. Or right this way mr president or right this way mr bank

manager yeah oh okay hold on hold on to the vault i'm here for the vault maintenance we get to choose one person that we can shapeshift into and out of just one oh do i do only get to do it once or no you get to do it forever you can go back and forth but you can only pick one person on the planet wow that is um who would it be and andy why would you choose margot robbie would you just become margot robbie that's not getting talked about that's heading in a bad direction my first thought was actually elon musk because he's part of so many different unique companies that i would get to be a part of those forever whether it's going you know the rockets or the ai you're in that jello body

that part would be that you've seen that thing it's my thought immediately it's pasty my My thought immediately went to like, well, I'll go Chris Sims. Right. You know what I mean? Wait, you just want to look at yourself in a mirror? Because you can buy a mirror that'll do that. Not just look at yourself in the mirror, but I would imagine if I wanted to go do activities, if I wanted to go do a hike. You want to go do like be LeBron?

That's a pretty good one. That's way better. Be Mahomes? LeBron is peak humanity. a hike you want to go do like be lebron that's that's a pretty good one be my homes lebron is peak humanity i think lebron he's a little old now you might have to pick somebody else is he's still doing okay no i'm just i'm just saying you you said you're gonna do it for a while but i need to target like a younger athlete i feel like you get to say what age of lebron yeah you're like, give me. Oh, but you don't get their talent. So when you check up a three, you're bricking it.

I already have the talents. I just needed the body. I don't have the vertical. You've been one LeBron body short all these years. I promise you this. Probably true. I promise you this. If I had LeBron's body, every ounce of strength, I could be in the NBA.

I wouldn't be LeBron's body. Every ounce of strength I could be in the NBA. I wouldn't be LeBron. But, I mean, there's not many human beings walking the planet that have that kind of size and ability. Mike, do you have a... I was thinking of a bigger person. I was like, do I want to be like who's the guy

that's the mountain? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The original or the replacement? You mean the zombie? There were two guys that played the mountain. Was there? On Game of Thrones, yeah. Wait, when he turned into a zombie?

Really unimportant. Oh, no, no. When he became a zombie, it was a different actor? No, I think they replaced the actor a few seasons through. How can you change the mountain and I didn't even know this? Because he's in a coat of arms the whole time. That's what I was asking. Zombie one.

I mean, that's what I'm saying. It doesn't matter because if you're hidden, you can change them out. Yeah, that's fair. But the original, I just want to be really tall and really strong. My final answer is telekinesis. You guys have a final answer?

Assuming it's not the one person shapeshift lock, that one's... Yeah, if I can go to anybody, I'm shapeshifting. Yeah. All right, Farrah from Twitter. Would you rather have a personal assistant or a chauffeur? Man, I feel like I could make my personal assistant drive me around. You know, loophole!

No, this is against the rules for this question. Yeah, that's fair. You can have it. So the personal assistant, like the chauffeur, you have to go a lot of places for that to pay off. Not a lot. You don't have to drive. I mean, the personal assistant is very valuable.

Very valuable. If I had a personal assistant. If they were good at their job. I would have been at the dentist regularly if I had a personal assistant. A lot more than that. Scheduling things is like. Grab me some tickets to the game tonight and set it up for me. Oh, man.

That's what you get to do. Yeah. I have to have a personal assistant that knows that I don't have to teach how to be one. That's what I feel like the challenge is with having one is they got to know you. Yeah. Oh, they have to know everything about you. I have to be able to say, you know, when are my children's performances? Which day?

Yes. What's their rehearsal schedule? Because I don't remember what's going on. And they get you the ticket on the airplane flight. They better get you what you like. The aisle or the. They're doing a lot more than a chauffeur. Look, a ton more.

A chauffeur is doing one thing when you can't make it to the kids thing. You say, write him a card for me. But the chauffeur's value when you need it is so extremely great does the chauffeur at least come with a really cool car in this situation yeah it's a limo yeah do you want a limo or do you want like a black suv okay like armored out just because like mad max armored out no like president of the United States armored out. You know, I want to make sure that, you know, I'm rolling deep when I roll up to some place. If I got a chauffeur, I want people to look. Let me ask you this.

If you had a chauffeur permanently, I guess I know one of these answers and then I'll extend it. But would you go more places? Yes or no yes and then yes okay and then would you take that like you want to scoot over to i don't know san diego from here you got a ride i would i would definitely like when we go to california i prefer to fly i know some people don't mind that drive because it's not the end of the world it's five six hour drive you leave when you want all that but i prefer flying because i i just don't like driving for five or six hours riding for five or six hours yeah in the back of a limo i'm playing some games on my phone yeah you're getting work done now i'm playing some games on my phone

yeah his work yeah my work candy. What are you talking about? His candies aren't going to crush themselves. I used to like the show. Level 3000. Every time you go to a sporting event, we all hate driving downtown. Yes. You got to ride. You want to go?

I think I'd do so much more, genuinely. The drive parking situation for things in busy environments, so annoying. Well, and I joke about playing games on the drive but they're just waiting for you in truth you can be very productive you know we drive to work and from work every single day that's a lot of time in our life that we could get back be productive yeah i'm on my laptop on the drive would they be able to could you very important taking a nap could you use them you are getting nothing oh i will have a c-pap in that machine that car will come stocked with the c-pap for all the naps yes sir a c-nap very nice would you get to use the chauffeur for like kids drop offs and pickups absolutely it's my chauffeur and so that's my pick really follow-up question how much would we have to increase

jeremy's pay to have him just be waiting 24 7 as a chauffeur that's a great question that's kicked over to you al and i and i want to clarify this was not a misspeak 24 7 anytime that i press my chauffeur button yeah you are either waiting or you'll be there in 15 minutes 15 to 20 minutes 35 that's it oh man guys we gotta talk we gotta talk after this show because i think oh but we gotta get him a car you know how much an armored suv is why is it armored now it's awesome i don't i don't think jason realizes that the armored suv looks just like the regular one they design it so you can't tell there's a difference yeah the pope's not riding around in a tank yeah but shoot it yeah i mean i'm not disagreeing that that'd be cool all right regular super nice black suv am i alone taking the chauffeur

i don't i don't know i'm really torn right when you're a type a person like me i am my own personal assistant yeah it is hard to trust like we had a um i already do i would already want to do the stuff that i'm trying to assign to them i'll just do it we did a vacation where we thought this was brilliant we used a uh a travel agent for the first time ever not like a travel agent company like going through costco but like we had a travel agent they helped us out they booked it they planned it they sent us these emails it was really super nice but then along the way it's like i you know if a mistake is made which there was um by you or by the no i didn't buy by the travel agent travel agent and so it's like well now i i get some money back i didn't do this i don't feel like i have recourse i don't know what to do and all of a sudden as soon as something

it's kind of like what you're saying andy where you are relying on someone and if you don't think they're doing as good a job as you would have done then it's really not a benefit it just it's more time that you got to go fix problems so i think i'm riding dirty uh in the back seat it's riding very clean actually that's super clean yeah i just there's a phrase you know mike they would like take care of your bills and stuff yeah they'll take care of their bills as long as you make the chatter I know I am not saying that take it out of your pay

personal assistants do not pay your bills could you float my cable this month for me you haven't paid electric yet I think the chauffeur sounds so good what's funny is when this question was first asked, I literally said the chauffeur does one thing. Personal assistant does a million.

I thought it was going to be a home run for the personal assistant. Great question. I need to look into chauffeur costs. Apparently. 35%. 35%. Not bad. Wario from the website has a question.

Well done. This is a bad guy. Would you rather wear a diaper? This question has been in our doc probably for three months straight at the bottom. We never get to it? We've never gotten to it. Would you rather wear a diaper? Jeremy's so happy now.

Would you rather wear a diaper under your clothes and have to do all your bathroom duties in said diaper or always wear a diaper on the outside of your clothes but simply as a fashion statement? Oh, no. Oh, man. Now, just for clarity here, if it's under my clothes, does that mean you can't tell?

Oh, you can tell every time you walk. You can tell every time you sit. You're swishing. You know that sound. The area's going to look larger. And look, we all had babies. When a baby has a full load, a boom boom in the diaper, everybody knows. You might have a blowout.

But if this situation is, let's say I choose the diaper under my clothes, I got to do my duty in the diaper. Your duty. I'm not doing that at my desk. Are you telling me you're not going to start to spread your wings a little bit once you know you've got it? On a number one. Okay, on a number one, I might get a little free and be like know you've got it well on a number one okay on a number one i might get a little free and be like i can just do that right here but what happens the next time you go into the bathroom for a number two and it's it's just kind of all nice you know it just

works out no it doesn't it couldn't work out i'm a grown man that's gonna be a problem every time i i but my point is i would go to the bathroom either a private bathroom or go into a stall i would do it in my diaper but then i would i would take the diaper off clean myself change yourself there's no way we could pick doing it in the diaper there's just no way wearing a diaper outside your clothes all the time you look ridiculous and how do you justify that how do you meet new people how do you go to a social my thing it's just oh man you you go to a social event and say who's the who's who's people are gonna remember you who's the dude wearing a diaper outside of his pants because i'm it's clearly over it's not like whatever I've got underneath it is hidden.

Even if I'm in shorts, the diaper's clearly over my pants. They know it. They can see it. They go, what? It's also over your swimsuit when you're swimming. Oh, man. A swimsuit in water. I don't know.

Or a diaper in water. Oh, I've been down that road. I mean, not myself. Tell us more, Andy. But the kids when they were little. Can we at least use the blue jeans ones? Oh, the blue jeans colored diapers? Yeah, it sort of looks like jeans. No.

I mean, you can tell it's a diaper. I mean, do you lean in and you just wear all baby stuff? Oh. Does that make you less weird? No. No, it does not but i'm still putting them on the outside of my pants so that i can go to the bathroom in a toilet i can't clean my body you need to bring a diaper bag with you yeah you would legitimately need that you would have to have and if you go a couple times in that bag they're like oh he's used

three diapers i had we all had three children so we still have them we we have changed hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of diapers and yes every now and then it's no problem yeah most of the time there's a problem there 100 of the time there there's a problem there. 100% of the time, there would be a problem with me. I mean, there would never be a time where the smooshed things that came out the back of me would not be a problem. I mean, you've got to get rid of the diaper. Yeah. Where do you put it? Garbage can? Just throw it? Garbage can?

Just throw it in the garbage can? We all, like when you change kids' diapers, you are mostly at home and you've got a diaper caddy or whatever. You're out in public and you've got to get rid of it. You're not flushing the diaper. I'm putting it in the tiles of the roof in the bathroom. Those are baby diapers. It's not a man-sized diaper folded up. A man-sized diaper might as well be a football in size.

Not happening. Give me that diaper. We're wearing them on the outside. Today's show is brought to you by BetterHelp. It's so easy to get caught up in what everyone else needs from you and not take the moment to think about what do you need from yourself. We spend all that time giving and it feels us leaving stretched thin, burned out. Well, therapy can give you the tools to find more balance in your life so you can keep supporting others without leaving yourself behind. Talking to a

professional is one of the best things that you can do for yourself. We've all been there. We've all felt overwhelmed. The emotions, they're getting the best of us. Things seem just out of sync. We're not where we need to be. We aren't the person that we know that we are. Sometimes, talking to a professional is a way to get back in line. BetterHelp can truly help you with that. Find more balance with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash ballers today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash ballers. Spitballers to the rescue. So, Al, we got some life advice questions here.

Are these some pretty important ones? I mean, I haven't looked at them yet. They're very important to the people asking. OK, and it's time to help. Jesse from Patreon patreon i have a friend who constantly wants to go to karaoke bars he loves them i don't sing but he always wants me to come along with him the problem is he's a terrible singer no not just mediocre but painfully bad as he is up on stage having the time of his life i can feel the crowd just cringing

with awkwardness not only do i feel bad for, but I feel like I become guilty by association, and I just want to run away, I guess because he would come back and sit next to you. What do I do? I can only come up with excuses not to go so many times. This is Jesse's problem. Yeah. Look, your friend has found something that brings them great joy, and they're not good at it, apparently.

Apparently, they're very bad at it. However, karaoke is not my thing, but every time I've been around karaoke, 95% of the people who go up there are terrible, and this is just a part of the karaoke experience. It's letting people who wish they could who go up there are terrible and this is just a part of the karaoke experience it's letting people who wish they could sing go up there and pretend to be a superstar for a little bit so it's not just one person who's bad i have not karaoke'd many times in my life because i hate karaoke uh it's the worst but the few times that i've gone there's always a handful of people

that this all this person does is karaoke. Because they're a good singer. Not necessarily great, but they're good and they love to karaoke and be seen and show off their skills. And great for you. I can't stand karaoke. So my advice to Jesse would be age out of it. You know, you can't keep coming up with it. Absolutely. I aged out of karaoke. I aged out. you you can't you can't keep coming up with it absolutely i aged

out of karaoke i aged out and you can too jesse at whatever age you are you can say yeah i'm too old for this i'm just too old for that now i used to be my thing but i don't like it anymore because then you're talking about you can't keep coming up with excuses don't make more excuses is done it's finality but hold on she's not performing no she's just going to support a friend can i age out of anything i want you cannot do yes like anything i no longer want to be a part of i just say give me an example i would sweeping the floor thing that you think you'd home chores i don't know about that but we could try it honey i think i've aged out of sweeping i that's a young man's game.

Give me another example, though, of something that's in the karaoke realm that people do frequently. I mean, you age out of bar hopping. What about family reunions? I'm 22. Can I age out of a family reunion? You can age out of a family reunion? Can I age out of birthdays? Oh, man.

I need to age out of birthday parties. You're working on it. Yeah. But it's just activities. It's social activities, like a wedding. Can I age out of going to a wedding? No. I'm starting to see problems with my idea here.

But the more common thing- I thought you solved so many of see problems with my idea here. But the more common thing like- I bet you solved so many of our problems. Like bar hopping. In your 90s, you're safe like that. Karaoke is a young person's game. Sure. And so I think- But Jesse's not even doing the karaoke.

See, to me, the problem is not just with Jesse. It's also with the friend that wants to go to the karaoke bars because they're so oblivious to the fact that makes Jesse miserable. Don't ask Jesse to go to the karaoke bar if they're so oblivious to the fact that makes jesse miserable don't ask jesse to go to the karaoke bar if she's miserable what if it's mutual jesse decides to show the friend what it feels like and jesse gets up there oh over the top and is horrific and just awful you've just signed yourself up for a duet every single time because obviously the other person doesn't know you're bad if if someone is painfully bad Just awful. You've just signed yourself up for a duet every single time you go karaoke. Because obviously the other person doesn't know you're bad.

If someone is painfully bad, they know. They know that they're not a good singer. I don't think so. Not from years of American Idol. It's not real stuff. It's all fake. I just think there are some people that are so tone deaf they don't know to them they sound good yeah i guess i i feel like if you're if you're that bad you know also find something else you do man we have hundreds of thousands of people listening to

this and i would just encourage everyone please age out of karaoke all of you listening please stop with karaoke there is not much so i don't go out very much old man uh yeah i've aged out of going out really and the few times where like if you just okay hey well okay i'll meet you at this bar grill or whatever that's fine and you go and then out of nowhere karaoke starts it is terrible because it is they make it the loudest thing in the entire world so and you're like well what do i do now do we just is the night done do we find a new place to go with that so when the karaoke karaoke sneaks up on you it is a terrible event and only one person likes karaoke at a time. You know what I mean? Nobody likes listening to that random person who showed up sing

other than that random person who sing. Yeah, and maybe they're one or two friends. Jason, we just talked about symphonies. You said they put you to sleep. Would you rather go to a symphony for three hours or do karaoke for 30 minutes? Would you rather get a great nap in? Yeah.

I would love to go to that symphony. you rather get a great nap in? Yeah. That's what you're asking Jason. I would love to go to that symphony. You can get a great nap or even better. You have to sit first row with the nap. Great. You don't, you're not worried about that. I genuinely, I genuinely think I would love a symphony. Not napping.

Would you fall asleep? I think I would actually just really like a symphony. Would you fall asleep in the first? I've aged into symphonies. How old are you? I'd like to really like a symphony. Would you fall asleep in the first? I've aged into symphonies. How old are you? I'd like to go to the symphony. Oh, you're very old. Okay.

You've had many a birthday. Would you fall asleep in the front row of a musical? No. No. Any live performance, if I'm in the front row. Like a symphony? Yeah. I wouldn't fall asleep in the front row either.

Any time that there's's that's just so rude I mean how many rows back do you have to be to where you'd be willing to do it 20 okay so in a shadow way back yeah Hugh from Patreon

my co-worker keeps microwaving fish for lunch and stinking up the whole office. How can I tell them that everyone in the office hates their guts because of it? They seem oblivious. That's HR. Your office better have an HR. HR needs to handle this.

This is not allowed. Hugh, I would imagine they're listening right now, and I'm glad you didn't name them by name. are listening right now and i'm glad you didn't name them by name um but if you are someone who has microwaved publicly microwaved fish you need to understand that you need to understand that you have caused a problem and maybe it's one of those you can't smell it because you're too close, you adjust. There is a place here that I love to frequent. Nice establishment, and they've got fish on the menu, and I want to get fish every time. I won't order fish from this place, because all the tables are close together,

because I don't want to ruin someone else's. Whoa, I would never not order fish at a restaurant. Because I don't want to ruin someone else's meal, because fish... Interesting. What type of restaurant is it? It's like at a restaurant. Because I don't want to ruin someone else's meal because fish. What type of restaurant is it? It's like a bar restaurant. I'm saying the cuisine. So is it expected that people are ordering fish? No, it's not expected.

They've got pizzas and sliders. And what type of fish is it that you're ordering that's so stinky? They've got a sea bass. I've never ordered it, but they've got a couple different fish on the menu. But I just feel like that's, if I'm eating my sliders, right, and I'm having a good time, and the person right next to me orders fish, I'm not going to be mad at them. I have grace.

But I'm not going to be happy. I'm going have grace. But I'm not going to be happy. I'm going to be like, I don't want to smell your fish. The restaurant's giving you permission to stink up the joint if they put fish on the menu. I'm putting a sticky note that says no fish allowed right on the microwave. Oh, yeah. And I'm going to do it as many times as it takes. I might add the words company policy to the sticky note at some point. Signed, the boss i mean that is um it's just egregious inside of a small business it really it's like bringing fish on an airplane it's like dropping a stink bomb into the whole office but while they're

eating while people are eating it's lunchtime and. And it's like, you know what I want to do? I want to ruin this for everyone. Do you remember years ago we used to work together at a game company? I do remember that. And one time somebody had breakfast fish. Breakfast fish? Somebody came in and it might have been an early lunch. I don't know.

It was in the tens. Ten something in the morning. Someone cooked up a breakfast fish egg plate or something. And I remember walking into that office and I thought it was over. I thought it was done. I thought there was a dead body in the middle of that building. Why does fish smell so bad? Like I like fish. I enjoy fish. But no one can sit there and so bad? Like, I like fish.

I enjoy fish. But no one can sit there and be like, oh, I love the smell of fish. That's true. Has anyone ever said they're like, mm, that smells fishy? Because you have removed them completely from their environment. They're supposed to stay in the water. Would we stink in the water there? Yes.

Terribly. If you cooked us. Yeah, yeah. If you microwaved us underwater. If you cooked us. Yeah, yeah. If you microwaved us underwater. If you put us in like some hot springs, we stink.

Okay, that's true. It's the inverse. Yeah, you figured it out. Salmon doesn't stink that much though, right? It still stinks. It's all stinky. It's all stinky.

It's whatever. All right. We got time for one more or should draft let's do one more do you have a preference should i answer the first one or the second one let's go with larson larson says we recently had a new neighbor move in next door we stopped by introduced ourselves and gave them the obligatory if you ever need anything don't hesitate to stop by and ask. Very good. We literally did this moments ago to a neighbor's suite down here. Every Saturday morning since they moved in,

he has come by and asked to borrow my lawnmower. How do I suggest that it is time for him to purchase his own lawnmower? I can't really say it broke because he will see me mowing my own lawn. Have any of you ever been in this situation before? No. And I will tell you why. You don't introduce yourself to your neighbors. Step one, don't introduce yourself.

But if you do, step two, check this out. Hey, my name is Mike. We just moved in next door. What's your name? Oh, nice to meet you. Hope you see you around. That's it. That's the end of the conversation.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. I don't need to say, hey, if you need something, come to my house. Oh, no, no, no. You know what you just said? You said, hope to see you around. Guess who? Ding dong. Oh, you hope to see me around.

Well, now you get to. You invited them with that phrase to come see you sure all the time and you know what's out front of my my house a camera and i will just say hey i thought he was gonna say a door no it's a camera and i say oh hey i'm uh i'm not available right now never come back i mean so so one option as my this is your to be entirely inhospitable and a terrible neighbor. No, no, no, no. It is not being the opposite of hospital to say it's obligatory to say, don't hesitate if you need something.

You don't have to do that. If you say it, you should mean it, first of all. I agree with that. Secondly, I hope that at some point, Mike, and don't take this the wrong way, but I hope at some point you have a home invasion and you run to your neighbor and you knock on the door and you need help. And they say,

I don't know who you are. Get away from me. That could happen. That could happen. Although, I would just run. I don't know why I'm going to my neighbor's. Neighbor, I need you to help. Go get that home invader.

You go to the neighbor for 911, bro. This is before cell phones? This is a weird 1985 scenario you're cooking up. I think he could go to his pocket. I mean, clearly they tied you up. They took all your cell phones, and then you escaped out the back door. This is so obvious. Oh, that makes a lot more sense honestly the the the limit what's your internal limit let's

reverse it real quick to see if we can figure this out if you needed something from a neighbor because i could see let's say here's a good example an extension ladder you're hanging something okay not everybody owns an extension ladder if you see your neighbor out with one you might go hey can i borrow that for a second How many times does your sensibilities allow you to borrow their extension ladder before you would go buy a ladder for yourself? Twice. Twice? I was going to go. I think three is mine.

The third ask, I will do it, but I would feel shame and embarrassment. You'll tell them on ask three, I'm getting one. Sorry, last time? Yes. Now, is there a time period in between asks that would make it a permanent arrangement? Like, if you needed the extension ladder once yearly, would you continue to borrow it indefinitely?

Yes, that's fine. Twice yearly. If it's spaced out that far, I think a year between uses. Christmas lights. Yeah, I think that's perfectly acceptable. Yeah, that think that's perfectly acceptable. Yeah, that's fine. Extension ladders can be expensive. I do have a solution for this person.

I have a solution as well. I'm curious if it's the same one. Why don't you tell me yours? I would not. I'd be mowing my lawn exactly when they want to borrow it. Every time they come over to borrow it is when I choose to mow my lawn. I will not mow it. I was just about to mow my lawn.

I was just about to mow it.. I was just about to mow it. I actually need to use it. And it's about to break when I finish up. I feel like that's not going to stop them from borrowing. Cause then I will mow so slow. I will, if they're watching me, I will mow so slow.

So when I read this, that's why they call it slow mow. Yeah. That's not good. And I liked it. Yeah, but I got you. Yeah um yeah i mean it really didn't get me and it really was bad let the record show i i it was in my head and i actively passed on even saying that joke you would have got a laugh from yeah from me um no when i when i read

this question i thought what the heck's the problem here? Just let them borrow it. Here's what I would do. I would put it behind my side fence with a tarp over it and just be like, anytime you want it, just go grab it. You're welcome to use it every day of your life. But is there a wear and tear thing? Not a lawnmower.

Arizona, we have rocks out front. You're not a lawnmower. I just heard the same thing. You're not a lawnmower arizona we have rocks out front is there you're not a lawnmower okay i heard the same thing yep you're you're not a lawnmower my goodness for clearing that up i get what you're saying i'm not a cat you're not a mower of the lawn i'm ready to proceed uh yes i do not i'm not out there mowing is like there's wear and tear parts that often need to be replaced on a lawnmower correct i? I think I'm with Jason. I think you let it burn down. They don't often need to be replaced, but it will obviously.

We need a handyman back there. Yes, there are. They're all breakdown. Yeah, for sure. But like how often does something need to be fixed and is it expensive? It's not super expensive, but yeah, the more you use it, the more you're going to have to replace stuff. I mean, if they were borrowing your car every week, that'd be a problem. Yeah, because that's depreciating an asset that is far more expensive.

Just imagine you have twice the size of your yard. So what? You wouldn't care if you mowed twice the size of your yard. You got a yard. They got a yard. It's twice the size of your yard. I am fine with them. Would you let him use it

hell it depends if this is an old school push mower go for it if i have like a really nice riding lawnmower that would make a big difference yeah they might ride it over some rocks or something right would you would you be worried about them breaking is that is that the hesitation yeah it's a lot more expensive investment that i'm loaning out so yeah i would be you could get a free lawnmower out of it if they're the one that has it when they break it. They're putting it back broken. That's true.

They're not going to tell you. Am I the only one here that, like, I wouldn't mind at all, like, there's not 1% of me that would. You would mind if it was every day. So there is a limit. I wouldn't mind every day if they were grabbing it. Like, I don't want to come to the door and get my lawnmower out for you. What if they have to put in a garage code and take it out of your garage?

Every day? You'd let them do it? If I trust the person. But I'm putting it on the side yard. And they can open. So wear and tear from the sun. Yeah, so. It's under a tarp.

It's a beautiful tarp, Andy. Oh, really? But also, your neighbor will borrow it a couple times. And then your mower is just going to be gone. Because you're leaving your lawnmower out front. That thing's getting snatched. It's in the backyard. Brooks, you'd be annoyed.

Oh, my gosh. I'd be so annoyed at this guy. I would speak up and tell him, like, no. Yeah, well, Brooks is even taking a breath. This whole time I've just been like, no, I hate confrontation. I would confront this guy. Wow. I mean, you have a limit here, though.

I don't think I do. You do, because if they were asking, what happens when, let's say you do the lawnmower every week. Then it's also your rakes and shovels. Then it's also your weed whacker and your clippers. And none of that hurts me. Oh. Yeah, but you would let them do that? Yes.

Like, genuinely, maybe I'm just far more giving than all of you monsters. Yes, that is true. I found the other plan. You find something of theirs that you don't have, and every time they ask to borrow your lawnmower, they're like, oh, perfect timing because I needed the weed whacker, so I'm just going to go grab that real quick. I did think you could just buy them a lawnmower for Christmas

and fix the whole darn problem. That's expensive. Well, what you can do is tell them about a great sale. You know what I mean? It's like, oh, did you just leave? Every time there's a sale, you're just leaving flyers all over the yard. Oh, I thought you meant you'd sell them your lawnmower. No, just text them.

Anytime you see a good sale on a lawnmower, hey, just want to let you know that I found this great deal. And eventually- Constant coupons? Yes. And eventually they will get that's pretty good. That's pretty good. All right. Time to draft. Hey, SpareWads. I want to talk to you about Ibotta. They help you find deals on things you

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like this. We're drafting one pasta, one sauce, one protein, and then one side to sit next to your dish. So a perfect little Italian meal. Oh, Jason is there. There's some gamesmanship here because, you know, what do you go with with your first pick? Do you grab a premium protein? Do you grab the side that will be the envy of everyone?

Do you go with the preferred pasta it's a tough one the sauce i mean it is uh i've put you know tremendous amounts of thought into this yes as you always do uh this is not my wheelhouse i am not a i'm not a big pasta person not a lawnmower not a pasta person we're learning so much about me yes uh to the point of i i don't know we this is like i feel like i'm on the spice draft but one thing i do know that i i gotta have so we're building the perfect pasta dish and i'm going to i'm going right to the side oh no i'm going right to the cheesy garlic bread my man right there because i don't what noodles i don't care that's not i'm getting the cheesy garlic bread that's not a bad decision i think

that cheesy garlic bread owl don't just write garlic bread in here thank you um he to be fair you did say cheesy yes i did and he's like garlic I think there are a lot of pastas that I am just fine if you randomly put one in front of me. Exactly. Whereas not having... Now, see, I would go regular garlic bread, not cheesy garlic bread. It's funny. I would, too. Yeah.

Cheesy is just pizza. Cheesy feels more American. Yeah. It can be... The proportions of cheese can be a problem on that. Oh, my friends. You are not eating the right cheesy garlic bread. Jason, you are on the clock.

Mike has a side. So, don't make a mistake. I've really toiled with this because one of my favorite Italian pasta dishes, and it is absolutely one of my favorites, I could build it exactly how I want it. It is absolutely one of my favorites. I could build it exactly how I want it. I don't think any of you would take the pasta, the sauce, or the protein.

So I could just pass and I'd build the whole thing at the end. Okay. But it's not the one I want. It's just one I like. Well, clearly if we wouldn't draft it, it's not commonplace enough. Exactly. For you to get any votes. I'm going to try your nerd pasta. Oh man.

For my nerd pasta. I mean, you've got, yeah. I mean, you've got some levels here that you need to avoid. All right. Mind you, for the record, for the record, we just bought Jason a pasta maker for his birthday. Yes, you did. And also I need to borrow it. problem no problem my friend no problem doesn't bother me at all all right um i'm gonna go with

the protein oh okay and I want them meatballs. I want meatballs. They aren't as versatile, but they're just always great. You can go someplace and get bad everything else. I've never had a bad meatball in my life. Now, how do you guys prefer you get the meatballs? Round. Do you want just the one or two big ones

or do you want six to eight you know smaller ones six to eight smaller ones and not like small like spaghettios and meatballs but like normal when i go to the the the spaghetti factory and i get those like if people don't know that's a restaurant it it's the funniest thing you've ever said in your life. I mean, that is a restaurant here in Arizona. But I wish I hadn't told you. Because when Jason goes, you win the draft, okay? If you're visiting the actual spaghetti factory, you have won. I'm a big spaghetti connoisseur.

You have one. I'm a big spaghetti connoisseur. When I visit the restaurant like the Spaghetti Factory and I get those meatballs that are the size of my fist, I don't like that. I don't want to use a fork and knife on my meatball. And then when you cut it, you're usually ending up with a bite that's too big. I want to take the smaller ones and cut those in half. What? No.

They're all a good time. I mean, you can slice a meatball any way you want. Please don't hear what I'm not saying. Still love those fist-sized meatballs. Just not as much as regular-sized meatballs. All right. Well, I have the opportunity here with the back-to-back picks to grab a sauce and a pasta at the same time that go together.

And so I feel like my, my opportunity here is fettuccine pasta and Alfredo sauce. I've got to go fettuccine and Alfredo right here, right now. Mike, it's the thicker flat one. Yep. Oh man.

Mike is, it's the one you get. I've never been to the fettuccine factory. No, I have not. I told you, I'm out of my breath here with the pastas. You've got a whole Italian world you need to let us take you with it inside of. You have to have seen a fettuccine Alfredo dish before. I've eaten it before.

I just didn't remember which noodle it was. That's fair. Yeah, it's the thick flat. So, I'll send it back to Jason. They're all the same. I hate to break it to you they are okay there's a difference there is a difference yeah oh is there yes there is yes there is do tell uh look shape they'll tell you all about it down at the factory i can tell you the shape can be very different for sauces. If you've got a spiraled noodle, that will hold on to some cheese a lot better than a piece of spaghetti. Okay, that's interesting.

I mean, I don't want to give away too many other. That's pretty much all there is. No, there's one more. There's one more, which is I could put the fork right through the penne and pick it up instead of stab it, which I love about penne pasta. All right. Am I back? I understand it's a different texture in your mouth.

Yeah, texture too. All right. Well, this is great because I was worried if I went the route. You were worried? If I went the route of meatballs, I need to have marinara. I can't go with Alfredo and meatballs. No, we could have backed you into a bad.

And I was worried I would be backed into a bad corner. So I'm going with marinara with the spaghetti sauce and meatballs, the classic combination. And I really hope that Mike screws you on protein, Andy. Well, I don't think my protein is going to get stolen. I really don't. Let's see. Oh, you're stinking up this place, aren't you?

I'm not putting fish on my pasta. Okay, all right, good. All right. Unless I have to. So you've got the fettuccine Alfredo. Jason Bates has spaghetti and meatballs. Well, he doesn't have spaghetti. He has marinara and meatballs.

Which means you could definitely yank that from him. I could. Let's see. So, I mean, one of my picks has to be a protein. That's just the name of the game. So I will take the – let's go with the – I'm deciding if I want chicken or breaded chicken I believe the protein selection that you're looking for is the word chicken

you don't have to be more narrow we're not all able to draft chicken I can't get lemony chicken you get chicken I will take the chicken and you both have your sauce oh I need my noodle then I will take It's a great pick. And you both have your sauce. Oh, I need my noodle.

Then I will take, I mean, it's the only one I really know is a different one. I will take the angel hair pasta. Okay. You know what? That was my backup to spaghetti. It's the natural backup to spaghetti. Yeah, because they both work. And actually, as I've grown up, I- I think I prefer angel hair now.

I do too. And I hated angel hair as a kid I don't know how do you hate it this is disgusting give me the spaghetti it was they're the same only one smaller no it was like skim milk to two percent it was like you felt like you were eating less total pasta yes like not it was not enough. Too stringy in my mouth. We're learning a whole. This draft is insane. The texture matters.

But it's back to me. I will take spaghetti. I mean, I got spaghetti, meatball, marinara. I am classic American Italian food here. So I have the opportunity to take a side here. You get to close it out. I mean, clearly, i can take breadsticks right i mean that's not garlic bread yeah no i'll allow it i mean those are different with me

so i'll take breadsticks as my side it is very inferior to garlic bread and then i'm going to take prosciutto i'm going to take prosciutto as my protein. Oh. I was very interested. I had no idea where you were going because to me, Alfredo was only good with chicken and shrimp, and I knew you wouldn't go shrimp. Throw some prosciutto in there. On an Alfredo? Yeah, you can do it. Really?

With the salty meat? It's a good time. I love the shrimp. Oh, I love it, but I'm saying clearly with Alfredo, Jason, with our sophisticated palates. Let me ask Andy a question let me ask you don't you don't you don't overwhelm the pasta with the prosciutto you dribble it in from here to here and there sure let me ask a quick question no you will not have you ever had prosciutto with alfredo sauce yes okay yeah that's why i picked it you think i'm picking you think i take prosciutto

with all the other ones on the board for no reason? I picked it because it's good in this meal. I think you are a liar. I just haven't seen it. The spit wads will rise. Okay. All right. Prosciutto and Alfredo.

Unless I don't know what prosciutto is. No, you described it. It's the salty, thin meal. Yeah, it's like bacon. We have a Rachel Ray recipe right here. A fettuccine Alfredo con prosciutto. Okay, well, there you go. Rachel Ray. I got it because I've had it.

Okay. I'm not inventing things here, spaghetti and meatballs. Here's the thing. Everything we're going to draft here is delicious. There's literally no meat or pasta or sauce when you're going three total options that aren't going to be elite what's your side here my side this is what i was hoping it got back to me the whole time i mean this is what you guys got me for my birthday a glass of wine it's a glass no that's not a side that is a beverage that's the side that is not a side that is not a side i will not

i'm very lenient in these drafts and i will not stand for your side being a beverage oh sustained oh no i had one side on my list now i'm tilted there no there isn't there is one more elite side oh my gosh there are i can't two elite sides oh there is let's message each other. This is a nightmare. You think. So, I can't have a glass of red wine? Correct. You can. You can, but it's not in your draft. Can we notate that I have that

with this meal? Oh my gosh. And I assume this goes for white wine then as well. I cannot. Did you just ask whether white wine is somehow more? I'm stalling. I'm looking up side dishes.

Andy can make his pick. He's already got a side. You can come back to your side if you want. You mean me? Yes, I'm sorry, Mike. We need to go out of order because he can't think of a side? This is insanity. Oh, man.

All right. If I'm at the – if I'm family and i'm at the olive garden oh my gosh and i want a side then i would get can can a soup count as a side of course of course because it's a side it's still a liquid you wouldn't let me have my red wine. Do you drink it out of a bowl? I will eat my red wine with a spoon. A bowl of red wine is what I would like to have as my side. Is that allowed? A bowl with a spoon and red wine. Because I will draft that if I am allowed.

No. All right. Then I will take Zupa Toscana. Yeah, we were messaging. I was like, what is the soup? All right, then I will take Zupa Toscana. Yeah, we were messaging. I was like, what is the soup? What's the... All right, that's fine. Not the first time you've drafted Zupa Toscana on the Spitballers. Also, red wine would have been the second draft in a row I draft.

I mean, it was Caesar salad. Caesar salad with pastas. Yeah, I thought it was Italian salad. Here's the absolute truth. I would personally not agree that a soup or a salad is a side. That is an appetizer. They usually bring those first. It's a course.

You don't get, they don't bring me my pasta and my soup together ever. What do they do with the side salad? What do you call that? If you order a side salad, that's usually completely different. It's super tiny. Is it a salad? Yeah, sure. That one's pretty good then.

So then they don't bring you your there's no wine allowed until the meal comes out well my third glass comes with the meal mike so okay i apologize i will amend it third glass of red wine because that's a sign all right in a bowl with a spoon also your birthday present so you you got Alfredo and marinara, and I happen to know of one more sauce. Nice. So vodka sauce. Ooh, panela vodka. Yeah.

Except not panela. No, I went angel hair. Yeah. I don't know, man. I don't know what I'm doing. You're dumping some vodka sauce all over this chicken with angel hair. I mean, it's... Which is fine. It all works together. This is a it's which is fine i don't it all works

together this is a real taco bell situation i don't even know what's the difference between a vodka sauce and a marinara sauce they're both reds right it's like an orange yeah yeah oh even better yeah i mean that one's bolognese sauce would be another one doesn't it i like that had meat or a meat sauce. I like a garlic butter sauce. I did have butter written down. That's elite. My meal that I wanted was angel hair, butter garlic sauce, and shrimp. Mike could have abandoned the sophisticated Italian

and gone straight to macaroni and cheese compliment. Oh, my goodness. Why didn't you go mac and cheese? Because I had cheesy garlic bread. I, my goodness. Why didn't you go mac and cheese? Because I had cheesy garlic bread. I don't know. I didn't go with it. That's still what he'll order over this. Yeah, probably.

And what is it when you mix marinara and Alfredo? Disgusting? No. I think that's just a... But when I was looking it up, they were saying they just call it pink sauce. And the name, to say pink sauce sounds disgusting. I think I've only ever seen that for dipping breadsticks. I've had pasta with it, and it's very good.

Sounds made up. It's two delicious things. It's probably okay. It sounds made up. Ask the factory when you get down there. I will ask the factory. The two main sauces, you're like, well, we just mix them. You're like, no, no. We can. No, no, we can't possibly.

I mean, ketchup and mustard. You put them together. Yeah. What is that called? That's ketchup. But. All right. All right.

But ketchup is its own product. These are both sauces. I don't think the math checks out. Do anybody associate ketchup and mustard together? I think so. All right. Fettuccine Alfredo with breadsticks and some prosciutto on top. Jason needs to try it, apparently.

Jason has spaghetti and meatballs with marinara and a side of soup. Zuppa Toscana. And Mike has some angel hair pasta with vodka sauce with some chicken. Did he not write down Zuppa Toscana? Did he just put soup? Okay. He spelled it as best he could. All I can see is they call it pink pasta or pink sauce.

Okay. What did we learn today? It's called pink pasta or pink sauce when you mix Alfredo and marinara. I learned that for a 35% raise, we could have a full-time show for 24-7. Man, that's true. And I learned that Mike knew a lot less about Italian food than I thought he did. I feel like we taught somebody...

You did. ...to be happy today. It's good. It's not my preferred. Okay. Well, you know, you've aged out. Yes, I've aged out of Italian food. Thank you so much for listening, everybody I've aged out of Italian food.

Thank you so much for listening, everybody. We'll see you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com.