Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 262: Violent Games & Things That Are Black - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

On this episode, we talk about sky diving vs. scuba diving, gluten-free vs. dairy free, and inside-out vs. backwards. We also play a hilarious round of Man of the People. We shut the show down with a draft of things that are black. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. A-B-A-D-I-N-G-Y-B-A-D-I-N-G-Y! A B-A-D-I-N-G-Y, Badingi! That's how you spell Badingi. I'm going to make a note. Badingi.

Welcome into the Spitballers podcast, one and all. Buhdingy. It's a funny word. Yeah, you know. Episode 262, Mike. Just got to spelling your finishing word. Welcome in. Would you rather Man of the People and a draft on today's show?

As usual. I think I'm the I think I like Man of the People the least. Of the games? Of the games. Not because the game isn't fun and the listeners like it, but because you suck at it?

It stresses me out, the button pushing. So yeah, maybe I do. Maybe I'm not good. I enjoy it very much. I like it a lot. It's really fun to play. And ironically, and I'm not just saying this because... I'm great at button pushing.

No, because it's the opposite of what you said. But I think my favorite part is just we get to smash the button. Oh, okay. You like that there's an interactive component? And I get to hit something. Yeah. You can follow the show over on the artist formerly known as Twitter. It's just so angry.

At Spitballers Pod. Imagine if you could just hit something during Highway to Spell. How much better that would be. Okay. Now we're talking. Okay. Yeah, that's not too bad. Thank you for listening. Thank you too bad. Thank you for listening.

Thank you for supporting. Thank you for subscribing. We appreciate y'all. Hopefully we make your week a little bit better. Let's get it going. Would you rather? Josh from Patreon says, Would you rather have to go skydiving from 15,000 feet high?

That's a little ways up there, Mike. Which is, I think, just going off of what I did, mine was about a mile. 5,280. Yeah, I was in the 5,000s. Oh, you did one? Yeah, yeah. So this going up to 15,000, do's... Do you need a mask for that one? No, I don't think so.

Planes are up at like 30. Yeah, but I'm... Like the big planes. So I think 15 is like in a... It's a good skydiving range, I think. Can you skydive from 15,000 feet? Perfect. The 15,000 foot skydive is the marathon of free fall.

Okay. Okay. So it basically gives you like 70 seconds. That's nice. But you don't need a breathing mask? No, it does not appear so. So how many seconds do you get of free falling? 70? So Mike, did you get about 15 to 20? Yeah.

Not a ton. Or, so you can skydive 15,000 feet up in the sky, or you can scuba dive 100 feet below the surface okay okay now help me understand why this question isn't just you want to skydive or scuba dive well there i think they're both pretty extreme i don't look at the 15 000 as it is anything that dissuades me from a 5 000 or 10 000 or like it's to me that is,000 or a... Like it's...

To me, that is skydiving. It sounds like it's like the best version of skydiving from my extensive research. And also like 100 feet down is not that far down. That's what I was thinking. It's like... It's not. That's not an extreme... In scuba terms, I don't think that that's very far.

That sounds pretty far to me. No, you got tons of light up there. You're not down in any darkness. Any dive past 60 feet is considered deep diving. There you go. I'm just looking at these zones where the sunlight is. That's what it is to me. If I'm going into the darkness, that's more frightening.

There's tons of sun up there. It's not about darkness. It's about how far do I have to go up if something goes wrong. Really? It's almost like a panic, claustrophobia feeling that you might have. You're like, what do I do now? Yeah, and you can't just – I don't know what the depth is that you can go down to. If something goes wrong, you can just –

Distance or safety. Yeah, you can just... Distance and safety. Yeah, you can just shoot up and not worry about getting the bends or anything. At 100 feet, you can't just go right up. Now, would you rather skydive with some scuba gear or scuba dive with a parachute? It led me to the next question of which is safer, skydiving or scuba diving? It's got to be skydiving. It safer skydiving or scuba it's got to be it's got to be skydiving it is skydiving yeah scuba diving stuff can go wrong just if you do it right like if you if if your oxygen tank is full and you just go up too quickly you can die um there's animals under there they could just kill you yeah i can't not remember the last time a skydiver was picked off by an eagle.

Right? Right? Ha ha! This is my sky! It has to have happened, right? No, I don't think so. No, not like someone hit a bird on the way down? It seems like it has to have happened.

It has to have happened. Randy Johnson hit a bird with a baseball. I mean, birds hit plane engines. Birds have been a bird with a baseball. Birds hit plane engines. Birds have been in the sky for years. When they're just flying, they're not expecting someone to fly past them at terminal velocity.

Whoa, Jerry! What was that? I'm guessing those birds don't make it. I would think not. Certainly not if it's me scared. I just saw a hang glider don't make it oh i would think not no no certainly not if it's me actually what's funny is like i just saw a hang glider that was flying and a full-on eagle just came up right next to it and they were like flying at the exact same he could reach out and touch it and it eventually

landed on the uh i've seen that did you see that? It landed on one of the things he was holding onto. And he petted the bird. I don't know. It was a vulture or an eagle. It was one of those. Big difference. I think I've seen what video you're talking about. So skydiving does seem...

It also seems like the better way. If something goes wrong and you die, I'd rather be skydiving as well. Just a curse splat? I'd rather curse splat than I would glug glug. So it is, I'm looking into this. It is much, much more unlikely than you think that a skydiver hits a bird because usually you open your parachute basically.

Where birds are no right like like when you're free falling oh you're high enough where there aren't birds there where they can't get out of your way that actually makes sense if you've got a parachute birds aren't at 15 000 right right but you know then that's where the asteroids are anybody ever been hit by an asteroid while skydiving? That's a good question. How did he die? Skydiving. Shoot didn't open?

No, no, no. He got hit by an asteroid. I think the conclusion here is I'm going to skydive. Yeah, I'm going to skydive. I have zero interest in scuba diving. I mean, the inverse. Snorkeling? Yeah, baby. The inverse of the dangerous creatures is that there are cool creatures to see. So, like,

when you're skydiving, you're not seeing cool creatures. When you're under the scoop, when you're scuba being, you could see cool animals. I don't think I'd want to. You'd be too afraid? I would be afraid of all of them. Be like, what a beautiful... You'd get swallowed by a whale. Yeah, I...

Honestly, honestly, I don't think I would ever go scuba diving. It sounds like a straight up nightmare. How much money would you need? It sounds great. Mike, you're cool with that? Yeah, the only reason I've never scuba dived is I'm just... I am afraid of the ears. I can? Yeah. The only reason I've never scuba dived is I'm just afraid of the ears. I can't swim.

The ears popping in. I don't have great ears of just going down in the ocean five feet. Going to the bottom of a pool doesn't feel good. Yeah, exactly. And I know they've said, yeah, you do the thing where you close your nose or whatever and blow and pop them open. That's what you do? Yeah.

I just don't trust it. And I don't want to invest the money and the time and get down there and be like, nope, I can't do this. Can I ask one more skydiving question? Yes. Do you get two shoots? Do they send you down with, do you got a backup? I think you do. Yeah, you have an emergency shoot.

And would you have to cut away your first one? I believe so. I believe that's how it works. You can do both. I mean, there's one like your main shoot doesn't open, so you pull the emergency shoot, or you pull the main shoot and it gets all tangled, and then, yeah, you would release it.

I really hope it's not cut away. Get the knife out. Start sawing that first parachute off. And if your chute didn't open, God forbid. Yeah. And you had time to get into a posture to hit the ground. Right, right, right. No, it's a question we've all thought about.

What posture? Because what's going through my head at that point is, I've heard stories about the one in a million guy that lives. See, it's funny because I think I go like pencil dive, but head down. Oh, you're not. You just want to. I don't want to remember this.

You're not going to do like a flying. I don't want to remember this. You're not going to do like a flying squirrel? Like get the. Did you start stretching the shirt out? No, no. The flying squirrel belly flop where you grab your legs behind you. To try to like... No, I'm not

doing that. I like how none of us... I can tell you our posture. Our posture will be screaming as our bodies are floating all over each other. Just tumbling through the sky. Are you supposed to go cannonball? I don't think you're supposed to.

It's called asteroid at that point. I think you're probably supposed to go surface area, right? Yeah, I would imagine. I would have thought feet first. No. I'll just blow my legs up, and maybe I'll be a teeny bit of – I'd be aiming for a tree, I'll tell you that. Yes, you are supposed to do that.

I'll be trying to – I'll try to do the the wingsuit where they get a little bit of horizontal movement feel like a little horizontal movement would help yeah take the speed down definitely would um yeah you want you want to slow yourself for a tree you want to slow yourself you know cup your hands try to slow yourself down up your cup your hands that's totally true wait this is a real thing you're saying i thought that was a joke i think it's an aerodynamic yes the microscopic difference of two cupped hands in the aerodynamics of going down it makes a big quick so i just went real fast real slow real fast cup scientist how did he survive? You're never going to believe this.

He cupped his hand, and it slowed him. They got these giant bear shits in his neck. I got big hands. You better hope you have a red solo cup with you. You won't even hit the ground. Here's the thing. I just went to the indoor skydiving. Did you really? Yeah, a couple weeks ago took the family we went indoor skydiving and it was uh amazing oh first of all super fun i i would do it every single day i've always looked at it and go i don't know if it's fun

same thing yep me too we've we've bypassed we've driven by that building a bunch have been like have you been there, Al? I have not, no. It is so much fun. When he cupped his hands, he hit the roof. All the joking aside, the difference between cupping your hands and not cupping your hands was crazy. Obviously, I'm not falling from the sky in this. You're going straight down at one of those, right? Yeah.

I mean, in there, it's like the difference between cupping your hands and having your arms and legs out versus just having them in a little bit and not cupping your hands is like, I'm going to hit the floor. You've done the research. Or I'm going to float. He has enormous hands. I mean, the biggest hands you ever did see. For that small area, that makes sense. I just want to picture you.

This thing doesn't open, and he just goes into full beep-boop-beep cup mode. I got this. Amazing. Can you cup your feet? Not normally, no. Because you'd need to cup it backwards. It'd be tough. You'd need to, because the top of your foot.

What if he did like a crab walk pose and then you could put your balls down and your feet down what amazes me is how many people had to die to get us to the modern day parachutes and planes yeah like a lot of people tried their own inventions and they that was the end of it you realize someone like there was a first person there was a first yes there was a first person that was like i'm gonna do it yeah i'm gonna do it i know i am going to jump out of this plane with this bag and you know how when you when you get confident i i i've read about this like the first parachute guy, he just jumped off the top of a tower with his parachute. For real?

Yeah. And it worked? No. No, no, no. Oh, that story was not good. No, that was the end. But when you're an inventor, you have so much confidence in your invention that you want to try it. Okay, so when I was talking about the first, I meant the first one that did it, like succeeded.

Oh, and succeeded, and it worked. Yeah, he was the first that didn't. Okay, well. Emery from the website, would you rather be gluten-free or dairy-free the rest of your life? Oh. I got to have that wheat, brother. You got to have the baked goods over the ice cream and the cheese? Yeah, I think so.

I think I could go dairy-free. I've done both of these for extended periods of time. I can tell you that dairy free is worse for me, but I'm a lover of cheese, milk, ice cream. I love all those things too. It was worse for me to go dairy free. I am now very proud to say I am fully dairy and fully gluten. Proud of you, bud. Yeah.

So is this extra chin. Thank you for eating dairy. I wouldn't exist. I'm back, baby. Without you. Now, you can combine them, and that is the ultimate dessert. That is the pizookie. That is the ice cream cookie.

That is the pie with pie a la mode. So you've done both of these yeah you did not like the dairy as much you didn't like removing the dairy as much as removing the gluten but gluten is more impactful which one was easier like the alternatives the easier one was to get off of dairy yeah because bread is bread bread is in a lot more stuff than dairy is like some form of gluten is in a lot more things so you're right for me it was like i disproportionately love cereal i disproportionately love ice cream and cheese and like even you know some people like serve burgers without cheese i find that to be a

ghastly experience a A hamburger? Yeah. They're called hamburgers. Yeah. And sometimes you'll go and just order it. There are restaurants that have special burgers on the menu, and you don't even think that they don't come with cheese. And I'm like, this is vomit. This is horrible.

If something is called a burger, like you don't specify ham or cheese. You presume cheese. If you say burger, that has cheese on it yeah sure oh for sure a burger yeah burger has cheese because i what i'm doing is i'm using the short word for cheeseburger now we're saving time i was wondering i was like why is it called a hamburger there's no ham you know you call it cheeseburger cheeseburg believe it was uh originated in hamburg yeah you're right is that right i looked it up hamburg germany and so you just got a hamburger

um they did that good work so i mean jason are you sticking with are you going dairy free to keep your baked goods to keep your breads man i i i would do my health would be so much better if i went gluten free versus dairy free because i don't have i don't have like a crazy hankering for dairy yes i like cheese oh because you wouldn't be tempted yeah yeah i'm it's but i don't eat that stuff like crazy i eat gluten like it's water that i cannot live without i just need it every time i've gone gluten free i've lost 15 pounds instantaneously because it stops you from eating everything delicious yeah because you can't have bread yeah you can't have goodbye donuts baked goods you can't have delicious things mike which one which one are you going to go for? I have, I guess, technically been gluten-free because of eating a year-long stint with keto. And I'll cut the gluten out because I agree.

Keep that ice cream? Well, just keep the cheese and it it seems like it was the the the gluten types of things like the bread that really made you feel bad okay okay i'm gonna i'm gonna switch i'm gonna i'm gonna get rid of the gluten okay i'm gonna be with you guys i'll basically just go keto yeah yeah you would be and you'd be fine alicia from twitter would you rather have to wear every shirt inside out or every pair of pants backwards okay so if i wore every shirt inside out i'm basically just wearing black t-shirts yeah but you're so then you'll be seams out seams out well let me tell you something that i did the other day okay i put my undies on backwards oh Oh, so you had the little flappy was in the back?

The flap was in the back. The butt was in the front. Front butt, as we call it. And I'm telling you, you know, I pulled them up with extreme confidence. Okay. This wasn't, you know, there was no doubt. I've never put my underwear on backwards before. So I just assumed this wasn't my first time.

And I pulled them up, and it is unwearable. It feels like you knew right away because of comfort. Oh, yeah, you pull them up, and you went, oh, what's happening? Why are you touching me like this? It was super uncomfortable. It was like putting a right shoe on your left foot. Interesting.

Yeah, I mean, I've got like, you know, they're like trunks. Yeah, yeah. Trunk boxer briefs. Yeah. But it felt wrong, like on a moral level. On a moral level? Try it telling you on a moral level try it out man this is inappropriate my butts wear my nobody look at me goodness so there's the moral component we hadn't considered yeah and and uh i mean inside out shirts are uncomfortable are Are they? It depends on the shirt. Your buttons are on the inside, Mr. Polo.

As is like maybe your... I do wear a lot of polos. The collar would be on the inside. Can't do graphic shirts. You're not going to want that itchy thing on the inside. Yeah, so basically that sucks. And that's seen so much more like i see people's shirts more than their shorts what would you feel like what if i saw

somebody in a backwards shirt or i mean backwards pants or inside out yeah that's where i was going i think the backwards pants you look way more ridiculous way more ridiculous if if someone has a shirt inside out you just think they don't know there's a huge risk to the backwards pants because if somebody thinks they're real they're playing some funny business oh and they're gonna give you a slap on the booty a little booty slab that ain't gonna work yeah but i think they'd see your face right yeah i was very confused are you inferring that someone would go to would just look only at your pants? I'm inferring that somebody in this office would think it's real funny to slap me on the butt.

Yeah, but. But my butt isn't really there. Right. Which means they hit me. But your butt is still where your butt is. No, I know that they know. It's a joke because you look stupid. Oh, okay.

This is like if you saw somebody wearing their pants backwards. I thought you meant to hit them in wearing their pants backwards i thought you hit him in the crotch i thought you meant the slapper would get confused no they wouldn't legitimately be confused they would think it's a gag it would also be i think like the boxers it'll be incredibly uncomfortable yeah that was my point in the whole story i don't think you could do backwards like the shape of the pants is like it's made to fit your butt in the back we have an oven mitt in this studio that the the the knuckle like whatever you call it like where the knuckles should be to to use the glove it's not where your knuckle is and i feel like that's

how it would feel so bad to use this glove i feel like that's how it would feel so bad to use this glove i feel like that's how it would be wearing pants backwards like like the the the pivot parts of the pants okay i see what you're saying would feel wrong when you walk yeah i i feel look i feel like you could get away with the the shirt inside out like it's just that's your thing you certainly could that's my fashion statement you've worn some bad ratty shirts that look like you should turn that inside out. That's your thing. You certainly could. That's my fashion statement. You've worn some bad ratty shirts that look like you should turn that inside out. This is cool. It's like, yeah, you pull

it off. Phoenix from Patreon, which lifetime discount would you rather have? 25% off all your groceries forever. 50% off all your transportation forever. Or 80% off all paper books or paper items. So, Jay, would you rather have 50% off transportation or 25% off groceries?

Right. Because I don't want nothing off of something I don't buy. Okay, 100% off all of our books. Free books for life. Okay, so% off all of our books. Free books for life. Okay, so let's just talk groceries. If someone gave you free books right now, you would not go to the bookstore to grab some. I got to go get them too?

They're not delivered? No, I'm not going there. Give me a break. You're seeing the gas prices. Then I'm throwing in free admission to any museum in the world yeah on top of that for you jay all right so let's get down to brass tacks here we got two options one is one is food and one is transportation now the food much more common occurrence but usually cheaper right like you know my travel expenses when you go yes you know aren't aren't quite as but it's just transportation so this is just your

but i mean it's like your i guess your gas is 50 off your what about when i buy a car in this like if i'm going to purchase a vehicle this is is short. I'll say yes. Cause that's transportation. I get 50% off all cars. Heck yeah. Why not? No, I mean, that one makes that super easy to take the car. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, that wasn't the spirit of it. The spirit of it was like paying for transportation of any kind. So plane flights and all of that. Right. Cause otherwise my new job is just flipping cars. Oh gosh. This is the loophole just let me buy that car and turn around sell it tomorrow um hmm i i still think i want the transportation though like if it's like plane flights i mean cruises oh is that considered i

mean you're moving the whole you're being transported transported. Man, I don't, I'm going to, I'm Mr. Loophole, but I don't consider that. That's a vacation. Like the plane flight to get to the cruise is travel. I don't know. Al, where do you land on that? I know you're a cruiser. I had put in the slack. I think cruises would be transportation.

Oh, man. No, only one-way cruises. Yeah. You cannot come back to the same port you left from oh perfect does that mean you get 50 off to cruise to the mediterranean and then you get 50 off your flight home you got that's fine that's if you split them up across different things that don't return to the same destination yes that's fine but you but airplanes you usually get round trip. That counts, right? Well, it's two different planes. That's, oh, okay, I see what you're saying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That made a lot of sense. Great point, great point. The groceries, like, I don't know what, I feel like I'd have to work to make the 50% off transportation net me more money in my life than the groceries one would. I would have to actively travel more, which is not a bad thing. It's just-

We eat out too much. When I hear groceries, what I think of is food. I think of DoorDash or Uber. But yes, yeah. All your Instacart. I mean, 25% off all groceries. I mean, think about it. Your groceries might cost what

they cost a year ago that doesn't sound like that's good but that's not worth i want i want the big bada boom i'm flying first class now you know what i mean well it's it's 50 off and that's still crazy expensive like 50 off first class is still way more than flying coach or business is first class more than double yes really the coach yeah yeah very more than double oh my gosh yeah like especially if you're doing a overseas flight i mean you're talking like a thousand dollars versus ten thousand probably first class is probably 4 to 6x. Wow. All coach. Man, I'm going to save so much money then. I am so disturbed

that you don't know that. It is utterly disturbing that that is not known because I know how many times you have flown on airplanes and didn't know. Yeah, okay. Guilty. Moving on.

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prizepicks.com slash spitballers. Code spitballers. PrizePicks. Daily fantasy sports made easy. made easy. Man of the People. All right. Another edition of Man of the People,

the button-pushing extravaganza. All right. Three points for the first answer, two for the second, one for any correct answer. How many rounds the first answer, two for the second one, four. Any correct answer? How many rounds do we play, Al? We do seven, and the final round is worth double.

And you've surveyed. You went out with your clipboard. I did. Thousands of people. I've talked to two people. And you've surveyed them, and we are now competing. For the record, we've played this game in the past. I hope you surveyed different people because sometimes these answers are so stupid they're silly have you guys uh ever done the

the mall survey i did it back in back one time one time yeah and then i learned my lesson yeah me too they like they they take you in the into some room and you're watching a video yep and then like here's a $5 Orange Julius. Pretty much. All right, let's do round one. Ironically, that's exactly how I got these answers. Orange Julius. Yep.

All right, here's the first one. Name a situation when it's better to ride a bike than take a taxi. Andy. Going to school. That is not on the board cool yeah good start uh mike heavy traffic traffic jam is the number one answer yes jason what five four um three uh exercise there you go That's the number three answer Oh yay Good answer Good answer

Not a lot of exercise On the taxi huh Oh man I was struggling I thought of the traffic Right at the end But after that I was like

I can't think of nothing Traffic jam was number one You have no money Is number two Oh okay Want exercise number three Short short distance and nice weather. We're rounding out the list. You better find all the people taking the taxis to school.

All right, go on. I think we figured out why Andy hates this game. Yeah, it's because I suck at it. School. All right, round two. Name a musical instrument made out of wood a guitar guitar is the number one answer yeah uh piano piano is not on the board oh music man i guess a good answer i'll give him credit let me get my fail answer in there.

Violin. Four. That is the number two answer. A trumpet. We had guitar, violin, pipe slash flute, clarinet, and oboe. A flute? I think they're thinking of like those pan flutes. Like a pan flute?

Oh, like a. You know what's funny is when I hit the button, the only instrument that came to mind was an oboe. It would have been on the board. I was happy to hear that that was on the board. Also, after I said guitar, I was just waiting, man, for you guys to be like, dude, that is not made out of wood. Oh, it is.

Even electrics are made out of wood. Good to know. I already knew that. All right. Through two rounds, we have Andy with two, Mike with three, Jason with four. All right. Here's round three. Name something.

Reset us. Thank you. Name something you avoid doing, though you feel better after it's done. Oh, that's easy. Dadgummit. Chores? Yeah. Yeah.

Chores. It says cleaning, but that's the number one answer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're good there. All right. Exercise.

Oh, yeah. That's a good answer. That's what I thought. Good answer. That's the number two answer. Okay. That's twice that I have won with exercise. Five, four.

No, I have an answer, but it's going to suck. You got to do it. Two. I'm going to say work. work yeah that's a good answer yeah it's a good answer not on the board it's not on the board is brush your teeth on the board no but shower is all right shower laundry and paying bills hate this game oh yeah you surveying idiots. I think they know what they're talking about. I haven't had any problem over here.

We surveyed Mike and Jason. All right. The next round. Name something you might see a lifeguard carrying. I don't know what those red things are called. Too bad. Four. A life jacket, then. I want to give it to you.

It's life preserver. We all knew what you meant. Yeah, the red thing. All right, that's the number two answer. A whistle. Whistle is the number one answer. You're doing it right. It is.

Yeah, they got a whistle at people. Andy, five, four. Towel. Towel is the number three answer. That's a great job. Towel's the answer. Look at you. Number three in a group of three.

Yeah. All right, we got a nail biter through four rounds. No, we don't. Andy with three points, Mike with nine, Jason with eight. We're biting nails at the top. All right, on to round five name something from her childhood that a woman might keep forever doll oh that's a good answer that is the number one answer

jason jewelry jewelry is on the board it's the number five answer. Mike, two and three are available to you. Five, four. They're blanky? Blanky was the number four answer. Okay, we got a point. There you go. I'll take it. The ones you missed are diary and pictures.

Yeah, diary makes sense. Yeah. All right. We won that round, Andy. Yeah, I know. You're catching up. We got two more rounds. Through five rounds, we got Andy with six, Mike with ten, Jason with nine.

Andy's winning this with a double. Yeah, I was going to say, keep in mind there's a double point last round, which is not this one. Name a place where people hope not to have a baby seated near them. Oh, no. Airplane. Airplane is the number one answer. Of course it is.

Public transportation. Yeah, that is the number four answer. Okay. Bus. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Bus. Okay. Jason.

Fancy restaurant. Ooh. That is the number three answer. Yeah, that's a good one. That should be the number one answer. You bring your babies to a fancy restaurant, shame on you. Yeah. The ones you missed were the number two.

Number two was movie or movie theater. Yeah. And number five was church. Okay. All right. We are through six rounds. Andy, seven. Mike, 13.

Jason, 10. Reminder, this is the final round, and it is worth double. Jason 10. Reminder, this is the final round, and it is worth double. Name a specific object on which you might see the word caution. Tape. Tape is number two answer. Oh, come on.

A sign? A sign is the number one answer. Road sign. Oh. Shut it down. Shut it down. Shut it down. No. Jay, you got to get in here.

Those are all. That's all. The T-shirt. A caution T-shirt. Yeah. The old classic. That is not on the board. Oh, man.

Wet floor. Hot drink. Poison poisonous substance. Of course. This game is stupid. For the record, I beat Jason. This game is so stupid. We ended with Jason in last place with 10. Andy right in the middle with 11.

And Mike is the man of the people with 19 points. Wait, what were the other caution answers? Wet floor, hot drinks, poisonous substances. The wet floor sign, yeah, that makes sense. Hot drinks. I've never seen the word caution on them. Well, yeah, you have.

And then poisonous. Yeah, like if you're buying a chemical that is poisonous. Okay, alright, Jason. It usually says poisonous. I don't know that it says caution. Jason's caution. Caution. Poisonous.

Okay. That's fair enough. All right. Ready to move on. Congrats, Mike. You dominated. I like the idea that you have to preface the word.

Like if something says poisonous, you're not, you're not like, Oh, I should be scared of it, but we have to say caution. That's right. It is poisonous yeah goodness

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That's not even a color, right? Is black considered a color? It is on this show. Scientifically, it's the absence of lights. Lots of options. Lots of fun ones. But ultimately, with the number one pick, I

am going to take black holes. That was the number one. That is the number one pick, I am going to take Black Holes. Yeah, that was the number one. That is the number one, right? That is the number one. 100% top of the list. Delightful. And going with what you said, the absence of, really.

I mean, you can't. Well, it's excellent. Nothing escapes. Yeah, the Black Hole is everything. Yeah. But nothing escapes. Yes. Including light and radiation.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. Oh, crap oh crap um i'm out the only black thing in the world is the second pick i will um i mean it's it's the piggyback of it oh come on i'm just gonna take space yeah so you get black holes. Yeah, well, I mean, no, because I would. He gets space without black holes. If I had a double pick, I would have gone space and black holes. I mean, now that it's gone, what I was going to the wire with was either answering black holes or the night sky. Because I felt like.

Which is space. It's the same thing as space. Because I felt like looking up at the darkness is nice. All right, Jay. We have some powerhouse pics here. Yeah, you do. Now, is space technically black? Yeah, outer space is definitely black.

Okay, so you don't get the planets or the black holes or the asteroids. No, no. You just get the empty. The infinite nothingness. Yeah. I draft infinite nothingness like my heart. I just wanted to make sure if people drew space on a piece of paper that it was black. Well, if you drew space, you would put some stuff in.

Yeah. To be fair, if you draw a black hole, you're going to put a ring that is not black. Black ring. Yeah. Okay. So, I got no cool stuff. What? There's so many good things.

Look, there's a lot of things I like. You just want something in space. I wanted something in space, and now that's gone, so I'm going to go in a completely different direction. You could take a black satellite. I'm going to take things that are here on Earth. First pick, something that I don't want to come across in a fight something i want but i'm not willing to work to get it a black belt in jiu-jitsu nice yeah black belt was on my list i was hoping to sneak that one and then it's not on mine my next highest one

will probably be my fourth pick because i there's no world where either of you guys would take it. Yeah, wait on it. Wait, I dare you. I'm going to hold off and I'm going to take something I drink every morning. Coffee. Yeah. A black cup of coffee. Yeah, you do drink black coffee, don't you?

I do drink it black. Dang, that's a good pick. It was on my list too. Thanks. I thought both of those were going to sneak through. But I guess when you don't have space, you just have yeah you go somewhere you don't drink your coffee black no i have a splash of regular milk and i know you no creamer i go creamer now i've i've done black coffee but it's just it there's no point it tastes better when you put the there's something scientifically

that happens to the coffee it's the the sugar. Makes it taste better. Even with the... It just seems like you can put the most imperceivable splash of milk. Not cream. Not sugar. I don't have any sugar at all in my drink. Milk has sugar in it. The smallest amount of milk will change the way the entire coffee tastes.

Yeah. Through the whole thing. It feels less acidic. What sugar is... Milk's... Oh, milk has sugar in it. Lactose. The what?

I drink. Lactose. Lactose has sugar in it? Does that mean if I drink. Glucose is sugar. Sucrose, lactose. Those are all. Does that mean if I drink lactate, though, that doesn't have lactose?

Hold on. I guess we know what Mike learned today. You're telling me that toast means sugar? Yeah. I mean, that's my understanding. Or ose. I knew glucose and sucrose and stuff. I've never put together lactose.

The sugar naturally occurring in milk is called lactose. Now, so if I drink lactaid that doesn't have lactose, is there no sugar? They might add it so it tastes better. All right. We're getting lost. I think even milk has added sugar. Mike, you're back on the clock. Wait, so when people are lactose intolerant,

they just can't have sugar? Milk sugar. Milk sugar? Milk sugar, yeah. Oh, man, that sucks. All right. I am going to take... Someday someone will tell you what a diabetic is,

and you'll really have your mind blown. I am going to go... we don't really have them uh anymore and because now it's now they use the markers and stuff but back in my day we had the chalkboard wow that's your number two pick that is my number two pick the blackboard the blackboard yeah you don't want one of those green ones no no no no what not in the draft of black things i'll take the green chalkboard all right um space blackboard black belt and black coffee for jason i have black holes and um um man i i'm number one i'm gonna go with what's gonna make it back because i have one more pick to make i'm gonna take uh black widows i'm gonna take this way all right uh they're terrifying and yet intriguing and uh okay and definitely i think it would blow your mind to know it is on my list. Really?

Yeah, I would have considered drafting Black Widow spiders. Alright. They're awesome. They're cool. Like, I hate spiders. They're cool, but they're scary. Yeah, they could straight up kill you. Yeah, they could do that. That's crazy. I mean...

You hear about this? You hear about this? You hear about Poets? For my third pick I'm going to take limousine I'm going to take a limousine Okay Yeah that's nice

Very fancy Mike That's the end of that Very very fancy I'm going to go Mike, it's your turn. That's the end of that. Very, very fancy. I'm going to go in honor. I have not yet been able to crack it open just yet, but the new Spider-Man video game came out.

But I'm going to take Venom. Okay. That's a good twist. He is one of the ultimate bad guys. He's got a black outfit. Is that his body? It's actually an alien creature. It's the symbiote, and it fuses with you, and then it goes on the outside. I knew we were getting the whole Wikipedia of Venom right there.

It's actually the guy. You're on the inside, but then you're covered by it. No, we get it. And then when you have the powers, that's the's the alien got it and then it talks to you okay all right jason you got two picks thank goodness all right make them not i will i was surprised this came back to me just because it's uh it's a very popular treat um but i'm gonna take chocolate uh well your face is saying i always think of chocolate is brown yeah that's brown bro really yeah yeah i appreciate what you're trying to do but that's brown even brooks says it's brown all right fine i feel like i let the coffee through

because i i know it's called black coffee but i always feel like it's oh my god brown no my coffee is that one's good because at least it says black coffee, although coffee's brown, to be clear. I don't think so. Coffee grounds? Yeah, they're brown. Coffee grounds are a little bit darker when they're done. My coffee is super black.

I'm going to take a picture of it tomorrow morning. Your coffee is not black. My coffee is absolutely black. There is no such thing as black coffee. Black coffee's a thing. I mean, black coffee is a thing. It's a way to describe coffee without cream in it. Oh my goodness. You guys. But no, I mean, it's a good pick. Chocolate is brown. Chocolate's brown. That's fine. I advise you to not Google what color is coffee. Go on.

Go on. You fools. Go on right go ahead and select the ups trucks are you out of things that are no i'm not out of things that are i guess he's tilted i am tilted because i thought that was going to be perfect my coffee and my chocolate we allowed well we allowed coffee yeah but not chocolate i've got a great pick for you i've got i've got i've got plenty of good picks i know my next two uh the pick that i knew you guys would not take and so he it would come back i love it it's delicious it's fancy boy taking caviar oh god it's so gross oh it's so gross. No, it's not. What? Oh, it's so gross. Yeah, it's not good. Caviar is. It's not good. It's gross. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yes.

I don't believe that you guys have had caviar. I have had caviar. There's no. At a very fancy place. You can't eat caviar and then think it's gross, though. It's so good. It's disgusting. Is that just because you know what it is?

No. Is it a mental thing? Because it's not a flavored thing. No, it was actually 100% the flavored thing. You're insane. Let's pull this room. Let's pull this room. Fancy boy over here and his caviar.

Are you guys in on caviar? I would never try it, so I have no idea. Oh, yeah. Never had it. Okay. All right. I was simply searching for a way to make the word caviar sound like the word fart. Okay.

So that's my opinion of the matter. All right. Well, I appreciate your insight. That's what I've been doing. I guess you told me the way to come up with the answer. So caviar, I mean, it's a good pick. You can come in the limousine with me. It was what I thought of when you drafted limousine um i am going to for my for my last one i want a pitch black room while i am sleeping that is a delight so a dark room like a dark pitch black not not not just

dark black room there was got it on on uh our long ago, we had an interior cabin on a cruise where there's no windows. And that room, you know how usually your room's dark, your eyes adjust. That room, you wake up from sleeping. You are in that room for five minutes, ten minutes. You can't see the hand in front of your face. I don't think I've slept better in my life. Pitch black room so why not uh why not put the blackout blinds in your room no no no no the the alarm the alarm clocks had no leds it was all analog like when you put blackout like my old room had blackout

curtains there's still light in there we have so many little things, an outlet here, a little beeping red dot somewhere in the room. You got to fix all that, brother. Sure, maybe. That's easy. Well, you can't overcome these problems. Yeah. What's funny is actually on Amazon they sell for like pennies. They sell these little like a page of darkening stickers, and you can put them on any LEDs in your room and it'll make them

go away or make them super, super like a little dot. It's a little dot of different shapes and you can put them on like the light from your security system or something or whatever stuff. So, but yeah, you slept better cause it was so dark. It was incredible. Have you ever used an eye mask? I have. I do all the time. So darkness is your answer. Is that right? A pitch black room. A pitch black room.

Okay. Mike, you have another pick. Over a, not this summer, but a summer ago, I had the good fortune to go and visit Iceland. Oh, yeah. Black sand. I almost went this way. On an Iceland beach. Yeah.

And with the black sand. Was it really cool? Fellas, you can't even describe how cool it is. It's that neat? It is. But it's just sand, right? Like, it's sand. No, it's because it's volcanic.

But feeling-wise. Yeah, it's like really coarse sand. Does it hurt your feet? I didn't. It was very cold when we were there. so I was not shoeless on the beach. All right. It's a great pick. But it is very, very cool seeing that matched up against everything else in Iceland.

So black sand beach from Iceland. I knew you'd take that. It was on my list, but I haven't been there, and I felt like it was yours. I appreciate it. My final pick. Andy, I just now saw it i just now saw i had i had dm jason a pick he should have made oh and you're so right so we'll bring it up in a sec let me finish it and then we'll talk about what you missed my final pick is inspired because mike brought up venom which means my final pick is Batman.

Okay. I'm taking Batman with my final pick. Black holes, black widows, black limo, and Batman. Mike has space, a blackboard, Venom, and black sand. Jason has a black belt, black coffee, caviar, and a pitch black room. But, Jason, the pick that you wish you would have made, what is that? A black T-shirt. I mean, it's me.

It's my entire closet. Your avatar could just be a black t-shirt. A black t-shirt. And we would know. Oh, that's Jason. I feel like I should be allowed to undo my pitch black room and take black t-shirts. It went undrafted. I'm fine with it.

Yeah, I'm fine with it. That's my pick then. Okay. On brand. All that talk about a pitch black roomie is threw it away. Who cares? I got too many LEDs. Get out of here.

Black t-shirts. Stupid pick. Black t-shirts. My honorable mentions that I did not bring up, I kind of thought about like sunglasses, like black sunglasses. Okay. All right. Black mamba, the snake, or Black Panthers.

Yeah. Panthers were on my list. You could have drafted fedoras, Jason. Oh, I could have. I would not ever have done that. Rhodes, Cole, Inc. Those were a couple of reminders on my list. I had Vinyl Records.

I thought that would be on Andy's list. Oh, that's a great pick. And Black Friday. it's a great day I wrote that down too but I was like I didn't have the guts to take it I do love a good Black Friday sale you didn't have the UPS trucks though? no Andrew

I didn't alright that'll do it we got one more. One more very important segment. What did we learn today? Oh, come on. Lactose.

Milk sugar. Milk sugar. I learned that all guitars are made out of wood. Yeah. And I learned that 100 feet down, which is pretty wussy in the scuba world, is considered deep scuba. So that'll do it for today's show. Bunch of w the scuba world. In the scuba world, it's considered deep scuba. So that'll do it for today's show. Bunch of wussy scuba divers.

Get down where you can't see and I'll be impressed. All right. Thank you, Al. Thank you, Judge. We'll be back with another one on Thursday. Goodbye. Bye-bye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast.

To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com.