Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 269: Funeral Buffets & The Best Chores - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

On this episode, we muse on forced dessert, awkward intros, becoming a full-time marathon runner. Then, we do some ‘Man of the People’ and draft our favorite chores. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. A-ski-da-do-da-ba-do-da-da-da-ba-da-da-poodle. Kind of fell down the stairs. I skidap doop doop doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle doodle your face at the bottom of the flight of stairs. It was amazing. No, I mean, it's like that thing where you had trip on the curb, and so you run a few steps. Like, I could have ran. I could have ran if I wanted to, but it was just a walk. Just kept going faster and faster.

Like, oh, no. But then ended with poodle. Yeah. Did it? Yes. You're unaware? You did not know that? Guys, I was falling down the stairs, grabbing at any consonant that came to me and you

built a poodle that's what happened yeah you made a poodle you broke your fall upon a poodle welcome in to the spitballers podcast episode 269 would you rather man of the people and today we are drafting the best chores the best chores like if you're stuck with some chores, which ones do you want to get stuck with? Yeah. And we were kind of saying like, you know, no one likes chores, but there are some arguments to be made for a few of these as to why you might enjoy them. At least I've made a list of things that... I've got a reason for everything on my list, why I would say I would like this chore. I also have a special chore on my list that is a theoretical chore. It is one I've never done, nor could I have ever done.

Has anyone in life done this? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a super normal chore. Men probably do it. Oh, yeah. Or is this cleaning the gutters? We'll get there, but it's one where it's like, I think I'd love that. Now, I'm sure if I did that, I would hate it.

You'd hate it? Okay. All right. All right. Well, we're going to kick it off with Would You Rather here in a minute. You can follow this show at SpitballersPod over on X, Instagram.com slash SpitballersPod. Thank you for all your ideas for drafts and for segments and all of that.

Let's kick it off. Would you rather? Well, Jeremy from the website writes in, would you rather be forced to have dessert after every meal or never have dessert again? This is just a silly, silly, silly question by silly people. Now, does this insinuate then that you have to eat the whole dessert? Because I order dessert oftentimes and grab a bite or two. Like, I just really want a little hint of sweet, so I'll get the cheesecake and I'll eat. You got to eat the whole thing?

Oh, yeah. I think that's the only way this makes it fair that is the only way that makes it fair because then there are certain main courses that you really want to gorge yourself on and and fill up completely and i would feel yeah all knowing that dessert was coming now most of the time i always go i have a very dessert stomach philosophy in life. I mean, have you ever seen me go, oh, no, thank you? No, you love adding on the cookie. Yeah. And you love adding on the ice cream.

While you were gone this past week, Jason, I kind of, I don't know if it was celebrating my fantasy football title or what, but every restaurant, every restaurant this week, I think I added a dessert. Every restaurant served dessert? Yeah, he got them all. Yeah, I mean, everyone that did i got and i wasn't even eating at the restaurants i had like other food but these guys were ordering in i

was like you know i'm gonna have a dessert every day i think you added one of them for me i sure did from another continent i saw your lunch link come in i'm like i'm gonna sneak in a big old mud pie yeah i think i've i've trained my body to want and desire sugar immediately after a meal. And I'm not going to apologize for that. Speaking of that, I think part of the crumbling down the stairs at the beginning. I went too hard in the paint last night, guys. Yeah? What'd you do?

Had a delicious double cheeseburger with fries and then got a dessert to split with the wife. Oh, she didn't want any? And, well, I got to it first. I'm a fast eater. Yes, you are. The fastest. And I got about halfway through this dessert and my wife looks over because I have said nothing. You just went straight away.

I have said nothing from the beginning of eating of the mud pie. This is so mine. To the halfway point. It's good to know your wife gets the same treatment we get. And so I'm just absolutely obliterating this pie. She's like, it's good, huh? I'm like, yeah. She says, Doug, you noticed I wasn't talking, huh?

She says, yeah. And I go, that's because the whole time I'm eating this going how far into the halfway point before but before my wife gets mad that I have encroached on her dessert and because I was it was the perfect dessert for the perfect point of my life so that means once you got about once you got about 40% in, every bite was a big question in your head. Yes, yes. And then I'm expressing how much I like this dessert, and she takes a couple bites, and she's like, no, do you want the rest of it? So I, of course, say yes, and I am paying the piper today, fellas.

The trick there. Because this thing was, this was a big piece of pie the trick there for all of you at home i want to get away with more than half never let them see the original size then you can eat to a certain point and insist that what's left is half so if it is the classic triangle cut off of a cake or a pie yeah that's you just eat down the side yes you do you shave the triangle to be narrow like the pie chart you shave the 25 down to about five percent and then you go you want to split this you've seen the uh the infinite candy bar trick that's an illusion i think i have it doesn't

actually make an infinite but it like tricks your brain there you just do that you just keep taking little slices so you got the rest though that was a big moment it was great and i knew i loved you honey i am feeling awful um do you want to share the uh where you were a patron of it was the mud pie it was oh it was rob it was the red robin mud pie oh i just did that on friday it's really good i had to good. I had to do the game here in the studio where, you know, you asked the whole office, does anybody actually want this pie? Yeah. So then I said yes. So then at that point, I believed it was my pie.

Not anybody else's. Right. But then Rob saw it, and Rob's like, that pie looks pretty good. I was like, do you want me to cut you a little piece? And then I had to make a decision how much to give him. Right. Are you giving him just like a taste or are you splitting this with him? And I see by your face you gave him a taste.

Yeah, he got some. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But Mike, you enjoyed your dessert. Yes. But you feel bad today. Yeah.

So this, taking it back to the question, you have to finish a dessert after every meal or you never get dessert again it's easily never for me oh it's easily i have to have them every time i mean 100 of the time 100 of the time i have to honey this is for science now have you ever in your life been eating the meal and knowing that oh i'm gonna get a dessert so you actually hold back oh on the actual meal you have many times many many times uh uh it's it's a don't take this the wrong way but that surprises me um you know what's really what's really funny is i just don't see you as a like You're a connoisseur of foods. I'm a connoisseur of foods with a big old belly.

No, I get it. I get it. No, I just- I didn't know you were that prudent in the meal period. When I am at a meal with people, I oftentimes eat the least of the group. I don't understand it. I feel like that isn't fair, but it is true, but it is super common, especially if I go to a fancy place because I love, like if I go to a

steakhouse, I love bringing that steak home. I'm a big fan of having that tomorrow, so I'll know I'm going to get that butter cake. Have you justified the price of meals knowing you could Have you justified the price of meals knowing you could eat it a second time? 100%. And then the meal costs exactly half? You think I'm getting a tomahawk steak and not justifying that? I got to eat this five times. This is at least five meals. It's paying for itself.

Whoops, it was two. Yeah, exactly. All right, well, yeah, I'm keeping the dessert. The thought of not getting dessert again, no thank you. Dessert is great, but life is great. Now, would you have answered this question identically right before the pie last night? Yes, I would have. All right.

Brian from the website, would you rather have to introduce yourself each time you start a conversation with someone you already know or say big fan every time you meet and start a conversation with someone you never met this is nuanced so one of these is someone you know and one of these is is a new person that that to me already kind of makes a difference because i'm thinking how often do i cash Do you want to say big fan to every cashier? See, I feel like that'd be so easy. Big fan, by the way. Yeah, you just play that off as a fun little joke. That's so easy.

I would have no problem. This last week, I did nothing but meet new people. Now, what about when you sit down with your banker or something like that? Yeah, there's going to be... Oh, I'm a big fan. Big fan of your work, man. There's going to be some people out there that you cannot big fan. big fan well sure if I'm going to the funeral home to like what about when you interview somebody for this job like for a job here yeah hey big fan yeah I mean isn't that good you want to set them up for success you want them to think you think highly of them show me your best I'm a big fan of

your resume I'm trying to find a way around it but i think that's the right answer good it's so easy honestly i think we should incorporate this into our date like this is a hypothetical you got to for what if we just did this what if we just started saying that you're a big fan when you meet someone okay find something you're a big fan of on them question you get pulled over for speeding the officer walks up uh you said oh hello officer big fan yeah that's nice does that help or hurt your car honestly it's probably pretty funny it helps your car hey big fan of your work i mean that that officer all right you've cut honestly that's half of what i want to communicate to an officer when i need yeah like i support the police you've cut the tension. You've hopefully made him smile, at least on the inside.

You know, him or her, they're just feeling good inside. They're like, okay, maybe they're not bad. You're not going to be a big fan of this ticket. That's what he says back. What you don't want to hear immediately after, a big fan of your work is, please exit the video. You're getting a field sobriety test immediately yeah i don't want to introduce myself to you guys every time i don't want to be like hi andy by the

way anyways uh rude yeah that's rude if you know someone saying you don't know my name right or that you don't remember that they know you know it's like oh i'm jason by the way yeah i know like we talk every day yeah i'm going big fan yeah i'm a big fan i'm a big fan of that mike i guess it's big fan josie from patreon would you rather be given one million dollars outright yes or receive 300k for every marathon you complete give me that milli oh my gosh this is such a good question okay so let's because you just your full-time job at that point you instantly transition you're a marathon runner yeah you're that's what you are walker that's true yeah oh michael walker there's no rules in a marathon that says you have to run. It says you have to complete.

That's all it says. I mean, I could spend a day walking for, that's a long walk. I was going to say, I'm looking it up. It takes eight hours to walk 26.2 miles at a regular pace. 26 what miles? Yeah, that's a marathon. How long is a marathon? That's a marathon, brother. 26.2, right?

Yeah. I mean, so you walk. That's an eight-hour day. You put in an eight-hour day walking? Yeah, and get 300K. Now, do you have to also pay the extra hourly cost of all the marathon workers that have to stay and wait for you to finish the marathon? Is there a time limit? I imagine about eight hours has got to be the cap.

You can run some of it. I mean, this would be your full-time gig. I'd be going to marathons. You'd go to marathons once a week. You'd walk them. Eventually, maybe you get in shape. Typically, marathon cutoff times are around six hours. All right.

Let's leave it to six hours then. Okay. So that means I got to complete this within six hours. You can make it in six. The guy is standing there with a big $ hundred thousand dollar check right across that finish line that means you have every time you finish he gives it to you a pace of just under 14 minutes per mile and what's what's 14 is not great man what's a what's a walking mile like a normal walk about 14 15 i think right that's no problem 16 18 uh 15 to 22 minutes. Yeah.

So let's average it, say 18. Speed walk. Yeah, you'd have to. One on, one off. Jog, walk. Yeah. Jog, walk. So I have to at least complete four marathons before I'm in the green here.

Right. Just taking the milli. And then you can complete infinite after that. Not to mention you'll be healthier. Yeah. Yeah. Man. all right. So I guess you just do one a quarter, right?

You could. Every three months. You would. What are you doing? Like every Saturday? You're just raking it in? Yeah, I'm raking it in, man. I'm doing at least one a month.

Who doesn't want to walk outdoors? Me. That's pretty easy. Okay. All right. I guess you got to take the marathon. Because there's like right now I know. Okay, let's ask it this way.

I want to do some math here. Because when I think of big money, like, oh, I can print infinite money. It always comes down to one thing. Like, can I buy a ball team? because when I think of big money, like, oh, I can print infinite money, it always comes down to one thing. Like, can I buy a ball team? You know what I mean? Like, can I buy? Which is what? That's your opinion.

A couple billion? Yeah, I mean, you figure I need $2 billion in the bank to buy a ball team. Well, that would be like a professional. Yeah, an NFL team. You need way more than that no two billion you have got to have you have to be able to fund it after that no but once you have it i think you could you can fund it if you've got two billion in the bank you can you can go after you want to know the number so this is how many marathons to get two billion six thousand

six hundred sixty six six that's the mark of the beast times 10 128 months oh years crap wait which one did i do i don't know all right six six six six there is such a long there's a wide gap between one million and two billion well that's what i'm saying you can be very happy with your amount of money yes but i but I can't have a ball team. He's trying to decide whether he wants $1 million or a ball team. Yeah. And by the way, you're not getting a ball team even with like a weekly marathon. That's not happening. A weekly marathon at 300K is still going to take you like-

That would be 52 marathons a week. A week? 52 marathons a year. That might be what you need to do. So that means one year. Yeah, that would be 128 years if I do a weekly means one year yeah that'd be 128 years if i that's what i mean yeah so you got to do it way faster you gotta be doing one a day what if you like put a wig on someone i like how this it's just the ball the ball team yeah that's what i'm saying like if you got what happens if i if i did a marathon every single day, then I could buy a ball team 18 years from now.

Yeah. This is not a good enough. You're not alive 18 years from now. This is not a good enough trick for me to get my ball team. Plus, what happens if you save your $2 billion? Which, by the way, inflation in 15 years. Yeah, I'm going to need $3 billion. But let's say you get that money.

You get ball team money someday. And then you go out to the the market to the open market you're like i gotta buy my ball team now right now teams aren't always for sale right do you settle for like a baseball team no i worked hard for this i'm not looking to be punished so you wait for the football team to become available probably i would i would buy a basketball team. I would love a basketball team. What if it has... Any... Okay. That's the thing that I would settle.

I would settle on a bad city, a bad franchise, historically. Would you be willing to do the Ryan Reynolds path? The buy a low-level football club? I don't think that works. And then work them up? I don't think that works in American sports. There's no low-level football or baseball. No, you would have to become a European. Or buy the XFL.

I don't want soccer. This is NFL-NBA. Otherwise, I'm not needing 18 years to buy this ball team. You know, one unheralded benefit here is there's going to be a bunch of marathon runners at every race. And there'll be one winner. And then a bunch of people that

finished, they tried hard. They are trained. Yeah. And they all cross the finish line. They get like nothing. And you're the winners at every race and there'll be one winner and then a bunch of people that finished they tried hard they are trained yeah and they all cross the finish line they get like nothing and you're the last place guy and you get a three hundred thousand dollar check every single time do i get that presented in one of those yes yes yes yeah absolutely that's awesome yep um that's easy give me the marathon i'm still taking the marathon but i'm not getting a ball team we got time for one more al how are you doing today by the way i'm doing great are you taking the marathon. I'm still taking the marathon, but I'm not getting a ball team. We got time for one more, Al. How are you doing today, by the way? I'm doing great. Are you taking the marathon?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. And yes, we got time for- A little too enthusiastic, but- Oh, I mean, 300K for a marathon? It's a lot of money. I'm pretty enthusiastic about that.

Yeah. We got time for one more? Go for it. Yeah, we got time. Let's do one more. A brisk walk. Yeah. I mean, it's an eight-hour walk.

You're going to be real tired. If you're going to be sore the next day, you're gonna be real tired. You're gonna be sore the next day. You're gonna feel like. You'll train. Yeah I mean eventually you'll your body will get used to it. Could I roller blade? I just got back from Disney and I feel well trained. Yeah that's a lot of walking. That's right.

Doug from the website would you rather have to object at every wedding you ever go to or take a selfie with the deceased at every funeral you attend. That's funny. Now, I have made it most of my goal in life to avoid both of these. Weddings and funerals?

As many as possible. Sure. I want to go to as few. I haven't been to a wedding or a funeral in quite some time. That's funny. I really like weddings. I really enjoy them.

I wasn't sure which one you were going to say. I love going to a good funeral. I mean, just really puts life into perspective. You know, they could be beautiful in their own way. Sure. If you are out there and you're listening to this podcast and you just really enjoy going to funerals. Let us know.

I was going to say, please stop listening to this podcast because you're there's something wrong with you uh you can't enjoy going no you can't really well you can say that was a wonderful funeral i'm happy that i ended up going because being there turned out to be very good like that's fine there have been funerals where like you're like okay this was an inevitability like we all know this was coming like a really old person and you're like and then you see lots of family at the funeral and it's like a nice time i'm that's what i'm saying i'm not saying not as nice as a wedding no i'm not saying that after the funeral you can't look back and say i'm really happy i went to that funeral that makes sense but looking forward to a funeral like oh man i can't wait what man, I can't wait.

The food. What about the food? Can't wait for the next one. That's a problem. They should make it, to balance this out a little bit, funerals should always be catered with better food than weddings. Weddings just need better food overall. Weddings have the most expensive food.

And it's always just real fancy stuff what i mean i like i know you you're not a fancy person don't give me fancy food funeral buffet end of the buffet is the open casket okay end of the buffet yeah like you go through the line and at the end you pay your spouse you just like drop a little bit of your food yeah like a few refried. Now, here's the real question. A couple of scramby eggs for you. This is a breakfast funeral.

This is early in the morning. He said buffet. I don't know. A buffet's got it all, man. A breakfast funeral. I like my funeral at 8 a.m. Been to a buffet that doesn't have eggs somewhere. Honestly, if it was going to be a buffet.

You've never been to a Chinese food buffet, Mike? There's eggs. There's eggs in the fried rice, oh come on yeah get rekt um but my question yeah my question is when you're coming down if you finish at the at the casket yeah before you get to the head of the casket is there are there still dishes on the casket on the on the feet portion if you forget the tables that's where the that's where all the casket? On the feet portion. Yeah, on the feet portion. If you forget the tables. That's where all the napkins and the- Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The condiments. Yeah. That makes sense. The cutlery. Yes. I like this idea. I think I'm going to incorporate it into mine. I was going to ask, do you want to write that into a trust?

Yeah. Because you'll force people to do it. That's the problem. Yeah. I would love to have some wacky things and i'm gonna i'm forcing people it's a swim party do you want a plate on your what i mean like i want you to all have to come in a bathing suit but if you have a plate on your belly in the open casket and when they reach that portion they put a little bit of their

food onto your plate so everybody's adding a little. To be fair, yours sounded like you were sprinkling it on their face. Yeah, I thought in their mouth. Eat up, dead guy. It's all the same. Enjoy the cheese. Has anyone ever done it? So we can do the buffet, and then can they make my hand be up so everyone has to dap me up?

Oh, like a high five? Yeah. This is your payment for your buffet is you have to dap me up. I like that. My final wish. The problem is that- Would you feel uncomfortable high-fiving the dead arm, knowing that this is a- Not for free food.

Okay, that's the limit? That's like, oh, yeah, heck yeah. When they embalm, though, you will be stuck that way, so you will not be able to close that top of the casket. That can't be true. Is that true? Well, I mean, I think- When you em true well i mean you get the rigor mortis yeah i mean you you know when people like do the taxidermy it's not like they're moving them like gumby i mean they can we stuck can we put like

joints in so they can be actionable like an action figure yeah i can't i need to go back real quick jeremy you need to vet this is this really one of those things where you can freeze what do you think you're moving them around like puppets you're talking about the animals no i'm talking about the people i guess the people i just thought you know you replace the the the fluids with something that will last longer and decompose less quickly but you're not like conflating taxidermy with what they do to bodies. Yeah, I don't know how you freeze a certain position because that would be if that's true when you embalm someone.

Well, that's what I want to learn here. This is an educational podcast. Josh is saying that only lasts for a day or two. But it does do it. Did you just become floppy again? No. That's no good. Josh is saying yes. So what do they do when they taxidermy? They stuff you. Yeah, taxidermy? Are they like...

They stuff you. Yeah, taxidermy is where they pose things and they're locked in. And they stuff them, though, right? So the inside, they're replacing your insides. Can I be stuffed? Heck yeah, you can be stuffed. In any pose I want? Yes.

I want like a rock guitar pose. Oh, see, that's where I was going. Yeah. I think... That's good stuff. Rather than just embalming and being like, let's change your stuff out. So you decompose quickly. Let's, let's, let's have people in awesome poses.

Why not put them in resin? Why don't we taxidermy people? Like Han Solo? No, just clear resin. And they're just, they're just up there in any pose they want. And it's an open, open casket in that. You bring them home after you don't even need to get a cemetery plot you just right you you know you got pop pop in the oh it could be a coffee table

it could be anything you want you could have a coffee table you could have you know like grandpa's coffee table i've been to restaurants before where they've got like a big bear right in the middle of the restaurant or back in the corner that'd be pretty that'd be pretty sweet you know my grandpa we used to call him the big bear exactly so treat him as such and remember him every day as you walk downstairs and see him yeah yeah um okay well this question okay so my final answer is i will take the taxidermy yeah we all went to funeral i mean funeral buffet resin yeah we're going funeral because the the objection is, like, you can't play that off. Like, that's not a, it could be funny for maybe one particular person in your life, but that's a bit that's not going to work.

No, everybody at the funeral, all the actual in-laws and people that care about this, when they hear an objection come through in the middle of the one and only ceremony you get yeah it's like well i've been to somewhere i'm like this isn't the last one well sure sure sure but in that moment you know some people are thinking like supposed to be oh dear goodness all right we are moving on We'll be right back. find a Michelin Tire dealer by visiting Tire Discounter Group's Tread Experts dealer locator at TireDiscounterGroup.ca slash locations. Tire Discounter Group. TireDiscounterGroup.ca. Man of the people. All right. we are into another battle here man of the people uh

al you've surveyed the world that's right and the top three answers on the board top five oh that's right top five but you only get well you you get three points for the number one answer, two points for the number two answer, and one point for any other answer on the board. Seven rounds. Final round worth double. All right. Let's begin.

I can't wait to lose yet another man of the people. Game shows are tough, man. It's not over until the last round. We know that. Yeah, that's so stupid. All right. Round one. Name a good day job for a bodybuilder.

I buzzed in. First, I'm going to say construction worker. That is the number two answer. Two points. I'm going to go with lifeguard. That's a good answer. It is the number four answer. I did think swimmer.

The number one answer is still on the board. Mike, you have four. I will go with a police officer. That is not on the board. What a loser. I bet you fireman was. It was not. Oh, wow.

The number one answer was personal trainer. All right. What's the best job for a bodybuilder? Workouter? We had construction at number two. a bouncer at number three, lifeguard, and then model was the number five answer. It was a little on the nose. It was two on the nose.

You couldn't take like, what do you do for a living? I lift weights. What's the best job for a fireman? Fire, firefighting. You could have given us a thousand guesses and we would never have said workout. It passed my head of like work at a gym. I'm like, that's too stupid. There's no way that could be on this list.

And yet we surveyed the people. So I got the number one answer. That's what I learned. Jason with two points. Andy with one point. Mike with no points. Going into round two. Tell me an animal that you associate with

India. A cow. That's a good answer. It is the number one answer. No, it isn't. It is the number four answer. What? Dude. Monkey. What? Oh my gosh, I know the number one answer. Yeah, I do too now.

Monkey is the number five answer. Yeah, I got this. Elephant. Yes, of course it's elephant.. I know the number one answer. Yeah, I do too now. Monkey is the number five answer. Yeah, I got this. Elephant. Yes, of course it's elephant. Elephant is the number one answer. I think of all the tourist videos where you got the monkeys like snatching people. Is that from a- Not people, but their food.

Snatching people. The monkeys don't have a traffic control. They've got a huge traffic control. I understand the cow, the monkey, sure, but elephant was the first one. The elephant was the first thing that popped in my mind, but after I hit the button, I was like, oh, no. Is tiger out of this? Cows are like worship.

The number two answer was camel. The number three answer was tiger. Yeah, makes sense. And then cow and monkey right behind that. Interesting. All right. I wouldn't have thought camel. Indian camels?

I don't know. I'm not educated. I don't know. I think of- I went with monkeys. I think of like four camels in existence don't know. I'm not educated. I don't know. I think of... I went with monkeys. I think of like four camels in existence. Because they snatch people. They hang out in Egypt.

You ever seen a monkey running off with a human above their head? My cats. All right. We got Andy with four, Jason with three, Mike with one going into round three. Being in hot water is one way of saying you're in trouble. Name another. Being in hot water. Oh, another phrase.'re in trouble. Name another. Being in hot water. Oh, another phrase.

Yes. Oh, no. Three, two, one. Beep, beep. Okay. If you're in trouble. Okay, Mike, buzz in. Yeah, no, no.

Hold on, hold on. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. If you are in trouble. You better give them a timer. If you are in trouble, you. Anybody? You got to give us a timer. Mike buzzed in. Under pressure.

That is not on the board. Yeah, because it's not the right phrase. If you're in trouble. Five, four, three. It's the first time. Okay, I buzzed in. All right, what you got? Well, no, I get a timer now.

I buzzed. I already started the timer. You were already on the clock. All right, three, two, one. The who's gal. All right, well, that was the first. If you're in trouble. We got in the doghouse, on thin ice.

Oh, there's a lot of these. Those are all making sense in a pickle yep up a river without a paddle yeah and then burned your bridges which in a pickle is not when you're in trouble yeah sure it is this is one of the first times that i you have a dilemma no not necessarily like baseball you're in a pickle you got a problem yeah i mean this question i've got a problem problem doesn't mean I'm in trouble. We got zero points, fellas. All right.

These people got no points for that answer. I tried to be the first one without thinking of the problem. And that is not a good situation. Although, you both got zero, so I feel great. All right. Well, like I said, we're going to do six rounds. Here we go. Name a reason why you might get a call from your kid's teacher.

They're in trouble. The kid. Yeah. Bad behavior, I believe. Yes, the kid is in trouble. That's the number two answer. Whoa. I'm up.

Yep. Cheated on a test. That is the number three answer. Okay. It's on the board. That is the number three answer. Okay. It's on the board. That's all I care about. I will say your kid is sick.

Oh, that's of course the number one answer. That is the number one answer. All right. The teacher does not call when the kid is sick. See, that's true, but I also knew that that would be the number one answer. Who is answering these questions? Who's creating the questions? The nurse calls you. Yeah, I mean, I don't know.

I got it right. Doesn't have to be the correct answer. It just has to be the one people think is the correct answer. Oh, man. Got to get in touch with idiocy. Yes. All right. We got Andy with seven, Jason with four, and Mike with three.

All right. Reset the buttons. Name something you do constantly when you have a cold. I buzzed in first. I'm going to say sniff. Sniffle. I don't know what you call that. Sniffle. Sniffle

is the number five answer. On the board, baby. And I, of course, know the number one answer. Sneezing. Oh, that's not it. Sneeze is the number one answer. That's it. Like I said, Andy's on fire here. What? Doesn't matter until round seven, Mike.

No, it doesn't. Nap. Wow. Nap is not on the board. Cough. Cough is the number two answer. Yeah, cough would be on there. And then blowing your nose is the number three.

Oh, I'm sorry. I apologize. It was under sleep, but I'm going to give you that. So that's the number. It's the same thing. My bad. I was under sleep, but I'm going to give you that. So that's the same thing. I was looking for nap and it wasn't there. What number was that? That's the number four answer. So Mike gets one.

Nap is not on the board. You should have gone with sleep. Hey, he corrected it. He could have just. Oh, man. All right. On to the next round. Name a food that is associated with romance

is it did i get it yeah you're green four he does not have any three two spaghetti oh that's what i was gonna go with spaghetti is the number four answer all right i'll take it chocolate chocolate is the number one answer of course But I got the lady and the tramp That's what I thought at first Jason you are on the clock Four Three Candy

Candy not on the board We got strawberries at number two We got oysters at number three And steak at number five I thought about steak Jason The way he answered We got oysters at number three. Oh, yeah. And steak at number five. I thought about steak. Jason, the way you answered. Well, because I knew it was not going to be on the board.

All right. We're headed into the final round. We got Andy with 11, Mike with seven, Jason with five. Oh, man, I have a chance. Mike has a chance, Jason. I'm sorry. I don't believe you do. No, it's triple points. Yeah.

It's my understanding. All right. Name something you might stop to do when driving across the country. Take a picture. That is the number five answer. Boy. Get gas. I get double points there.

Get gas. That is the number three answer. Oh, baby. Yeah, I'm going to at least beat Mike. You're up, Jay. Take a piss. Rest stop is the number two answer. Oh, boy.

Nobody got the number one answer, which was eat. Oh, yeah, that makes sense. And then ask directions coming in at number four. Did I win a man of the people? You did. I just kept waiting for it. But did I beat Mike? No, we tied.

Yes. Yes, we finished with Andy with I beat Mike? No, we tied. Yes! Yes, we finished with Andy with 13, Mike with 9, Jason with 9. So Andy is this week's man of the people. Unbelievable. It is possible. Proud of you, bud. Thanks. The Spitballers Draft. All right, today we are drafting the best chores. Let me ask you this before we start the draft.

Mike, you get the first pick. Okay. Obviously, chores are called chores for a reason. They're unlikableable were you a whiny chore doer as a kid of course yes there's no kid that's not a whiny chore doer well i i just know that i was we were so relentlessly whiny that my parents stopped giving them to us oh you won you we did win we won kids out there there's a breaking point never give up never give up um which i look solid advice man yeah um mike you get to pick first uh okay uh

what a i think we've talked about it on this show before but just a a job that i find to be satisfying and it is over incredibly fast. I will go unloading the dishwasher. Oh, that's my number one pick. Yeah. Oh, man. You enjoy that. Yeah, when you get-

So easy. Because it's so easy, and when you're doing the lower part, at least the way that we load, when you get similar plates, but you get them all out at the exact same time, and you just stag like, I'm done. Job complete. Let me ask you this real quick, I'm done. Job complete. Let me ask you this real quick, though. Do you do the silverware last or first? When unloading?

When unloading. Oh, last. Yeah, definitely. That's what I do, too. Yeah, I mean, I think we're all in sync here. Unloading the dishwasher was my clear 101. Not dishes. Yes.

Unloading the dishwasher, it's over in two seconds, and there's a reward. Yeah. My cupboards are now refull with all these things I need. All right. Jason, you're up. Hmm. Darn. Man, that was my-

Is your list empty? My list is over of the things I enjoy. So I'm going to go with this one because, again- Hold on. Jeremy, did he say refull? He did, and I was like, that's close enough. Honestly, I thought it was close enough. I didn't hear it. Refold.

Yeah. Hey, honey, everything's refold over here. I mean, that's just how you say it. Alright, so if I'm up, I'm going to go with something that, like Mike, I want the job to be over quick i want a fast completion to where it's like okay i did it i completed the job but also big impact but

big impact exactly right and i think when i think of biggest impact quickest completion it's taking out the trash yeah that's my 102 yeah you just you just take this bag, take it out, put a new bag in, done, and unfilled the garbage can. So it's really nice for the family. Now, have you unfilled the garbage can or have you refilled the outside, the trash bin? I did have that very high on my list, but my reasoning was that you get to see how the weather is going.

You know, you get to check out the weather. That's the only downside is sometimes you go out and you go, ooh, it's really hot. I guess that's true. But I do like the fact that it brings you outdoors. There's plenty of outdoor chores, Andy. I get to pick now? There's plenty you can take. Try to mow the lawn inside.

Not going to happen. You could try. I'm going to go with cooking as my first chore because you get to eat your hard work. That's my reasoning. You get to eat your hard work. And I find it very satisfying. I'm not in charge of the cooking very often. Most of the time it's like I got to make lunch for everybody because the wife is gone and I'm not good at it.

So when I get to do it, it is a satisfying feeling to have fed your children. I know. And they like it. It's like three taps on the phone. That's true. Yeah. That's a different kind of cooking. So is ordering takeout a chore?

Probably not. Yeah, just say dinner. Taking care of dinner. I had cooking on my list because I do enjoy it, and I thought I would get it because I know how much Mike hates cooking. Yeah. Good job taking that. When you can eat your hard work, that's pretty good.

My second one, I'm going to go with a little bit of a wild card here. Okay. Oh, on pick number two. Probably stupid to do that, but you know what? I'm going to go with my heart here and I am going to go with assembling furniture. Wow. Hey, because I don't hate it. It's a little bit like doing a crossword puzzle or some Sudoku.

So it's a mental challenge. And when you get done with it, you fake yourself in a feeling like a man. Oh dude. I hate it so challenge and when you get done with it you fake yourself into feeling like a man oh dude i hate it so much because when i get done with it i go well that's wrong i opened the account i opened the door and obviously some of the insides look completely different than other insides and i go what step did i mess i don't think i've ever gone an Ikea piece or whatever, start to finish without messing something up terribly. They get me with the color of the wooded side. There's just a couple little scratch marks in your drawing. You better know.

You get to bust the tools out. I like it. Set up shop in the house. I like it. You can take as long as you need. That's the part I really like. Pop in some AirPods. Busy.

Yeah. Like, I'm working on this. This is a tough one. Build a chair today. Yeah. I mean, I'm going to go with that one. I think that's a pretty good chore. Plus, it means I got new furniture.

Okay. Okay. Okay. I get it. So, wait. What was your first one? Cooking and then assembling furniture. All right.

All right. Well, Andy. Jason, you've been taking the trash out. Now, all right well andy jason you've been taking the trash out now i've been taking the trash out now look andy likes feeding his kids after a long cooking session that probably took him hours he's got to clean up all that oh that part is not fun i'm gonna feed the pets oh you dog that was next on my list i'm grabbing that scoop nice and i'm going scoop pour done yes that one is yeah feet up that's a good one i've fed my animals yeah i cared for my love do you let your wife know when you oh i make sure everyone knows i made sure yeah that's that's usually how i feed the dogs. Isaac! Feed the dogs! But, yeah, I mean, if I do it, I'm going to make sure everyone knows I did that hard work. I've even seen, like, fancy pieces.

You can combine yours. I don't know if you have to assemble this or not, but it's a fancy furniture-looking piece. But then it kind of has... Oh, where you pull the handle? You just pull the, Like a slot machine. Yeah, that looks fun. And then the dog bowl is filled. Yeah, that looks pretty fun.

With the appropriate portion. I'm like, that is nice. Nice. All right. I can assemble that for you if you need it. Okay, so you took feeding the animals. I was going to go with that one. Okay, this first one I will go with...

I got to be very specific, though, in the words. It is, how do I phrase it? Starting the laundry? I'll just call it that. Running the laundry. I don't know how else to say it. Loading the washer. Yes, loading the washer because I'm not folding.

I am getting everything started, though, which is a task unto itself. What you're doing is creating... I'll move to the dryer. What you're doing is creating a problem, Mike. That's what you're doing. Whenever you put something in the washing machine... Okay, Josh agrees with me. Doing the laundry is different than folding laundry. Well, I will do the laundry. Okay. Alright.

I gotta put... Look, I don't know. I use the scent beads, so I have to load that in there. Oh, yeah. You got to pick up the real heavy detergent bottle. Maybe even sort. Maybe you want to make sure it's your clothes. I dipped out for a split second mentally. Did you say doing the laundry? Yes, he did, but he doesn't want to include the finishing of the laundry.

I am simply putting it into the machine. I do consider them two separate tests Well yeah because one is done And the other is never done That's my experience Honestly if they could just Perfect a way for all of your laundry To stay in the washer And not be wrinkled

And you could just take it out of there when you need it And then put it right back in That would be pretty good The laundry industry as a whole has really been just taking a big nap. There is so much innovation that could happen. Yeah, we've talked about this at lunchtime, about how we need our closets to launder the laundry. You need to just put your laundry, your dirty laundry, back in the closet

and then come and get it, and it's clean. Do you want to know why I disconnected mentally for just a split second and didn't know what you picked? I do. Why? It's because I received a text message from my wife that literally said, our son washed a bunch of super dirty garage rags in the laundry, and the washer now smells super bad.

Oh. And anything washing in there now turns out bad. Uh-oh. Like oil? Yeah, it had like a PB blaster on them or something. Peanut butter? Yeah, peanut butter blaster. She's had a new snack.

And she's asking, how do you fix the laundry machine? So she's asking a laundry question in the middle of your laundry pit. I think you buy a laundry machine. So she's asking a laundry question in the middle of your laundry pick. I think you buy a laundry machine. I mean, I guess what I would do is I would try to run it on a sanitary mode with no clothes, put in several pods and the smelly good stuff,

run it on sanitary. I wonder if you know I'm passing this along. Hot load and then if that doesn't work, if after that it doesn't smell good, you purchase a washing machine. I feel like vinegar is going to have to be involved. She asked. She asked if vinegar on a wash cycle.

Tell Mike. Tell her that. Yes. The Spitballers podcast. I'm just guessing. No, that's a fact. I've heard it. Josh is.

Okay. So run it empty with vinegar. All right. Okay. Good luck. Super hot. I mean, I don't know how much you're supposed to put in. Yeah, all right.

Next pick, Mike. But we're solving problems one at a time. Okay, I went with doing the laundry. Also, time out. Good on your son trying to do some laundry on his own. My wife's quite livid right now. Oh, no. I'm sure, like, whoops, mistakes were made.

But, like, the idea of my children or one of my sons going like this is dirty you know what i should do i should wash it yeah i should put it in the washing machine we actually we've actually done that for our kids for quite some time now they're responsible for 100 of their own laundry we tried so they have they have to take it do it and so i will catch them because they run out of clothes. And then they just load it up and go do it. Yeah. Well, that's awesome.

And I don't know how we pulled that off. Yeah, me either. All right. I will take, because Jason took the feeding the animals, I really wanted that one. I will go with watering the plants. Watering the plants. I hope you have only plastic good at only plastic plants i have a plant oh all right are you good at watering it uh no i've never done it oh okay but if you did

you would like it i would imagine i'd be the best plant waterer of all time is there a sliding scale of how good you are at watering talk to the people who can't keep plants there are a lot of people that are like oh man i'm so bad at keeping plants. They're all dead. Yeah, and I'll be like, I'm the best. I'm so good. I feel like there's got to be a rule of like, this plant needs watered this much, this often. Once you know that, you're just-

If I gave you 10 plants and said, you keep these all alive for a month and you get a million dollars, could you pull it off? Yes, 100%. Yeah, I think so. 10 plants and said you keep these all alive for a month and you get a million dollars could you pull it off? Yes 100% I think so I don't think so. Now that's spoken as a man who's never tried. Spoken as a man who lands planes Yes well I could I haven't yet but if

I needed to I could absolutely. I've landed imaginary 747s this is a piece of cake Alright Back to you Jason yes Mike has unloading a This is a piece of cake. All right. Back to you, Jason. Yes. Mike has unloading a dishwasher, doing a load of wash. Doing a load of wash. That's what's written in as, and I just read it like Ron Burgundy. Doing laundry.

Doing a load of laundry. Okay. And then watering the plants. All right. And so I only have two right now, right? Taking out the trash, feeding the pets. Okay. Those are some good ones.

Those are good ones. Those are quick. Yeah. Those are are quick you got time for something i'm gonna this one does take a little bit more time because i gotta go get some equipment which i don't like that part but i love this and if you talked to my family they would 100 say i have like a passion. Yes. Yes. That's the right word. I have a passion for this. It's really true. It's not even a joke. Changing light bulbs. Oh, I love taking a room that's dark and just, and I'm making it bright. I, I will spend so long room. You're letting whole rooms get dark before you change them. Sometimes. That's how many bulbs are out? That's how heavy my ladder is. I've got

to get the big gorilla ladder and I'm like, I don't want to bring that in for one bulb. I get it. It's a good pick. I wasn't on my list and it's just from lack of thinking about it. You know me and my bougie self. I'm going out. I spend so much time at that light bulb aisle

and I look at all of them and I'm getting them. Oh, you make changes. I'm going out. I spend so much time at that light bulb aisle, and I look at all of them, and I'm getting them. Oh, you make changes. I'm going to get the perfect bulb. You go to an aisle? Yeah, I will go to. I go to the Amazon. All bulbs, almost all bulbs are still something I buy in the store. Yeah, me too.

Because when something goes out, you go grab one. You don't have like a little surplus? Sometimes. Sometimes. So now I found my perfect okay i found my perfect bulb and so now i only order that online but uh they are so bright i mean i when you walk in my house now it's like wait you you did the wrong stuff no no no i did the right stuff it's still warm it's not like do you have to wear sunglasses in your house? You can, and if you do, you'll see just fine.

But I love it. I love it. It's like the Vegas street. It's at night, and you're like, this is daytime. See, this is the thing. If you're at home, you should know this. Jason and I have kind of a perpetual feud on the level of light in our main office area because I like to have one on one off because you know it's a little glary for me and my lasik eyeballs if i could jason 20 more wishes he was

on the surface of the sun i want i can't have enough light now why is that i think i just see bad vision better yes it's it's bad vision i don't see as good in the dark okay that's fair i mean true of everybody but i mean like neutral lighting non-bright lighting i don't see very well i need i need it i need everything well lit even though you're like computer screen is fully backlit well i can see the computer screen are you at fancy restaurant iphone flashlight levels now 100 yeah i had to do it the other day one of y'all it's embarrassing you should wear a headlamp like the splunker i i that'd be funny so here's the worst part i've graduated mike because i used to be what to readers too no no no i used to be

the i'm not turning the flashlight on i'm just gonna open the screen oh okay at it and i can read it well enough but would you like angle it and pretend like you're watching oh maybe a little i'm not you know don't don't look at me but um now it's full flashlight in fact it's the magnifying mode which if you haven't played around with the magnifying mode on your wait so you're reading it on the screen? Yeah. Oh, come on now. Come on. No, it's great because- You're a man with a magnifying glass.

It's great. It's great. Listen, listen. You've never been older in your life. Why do you need a magnifying glass to find tomahawk steak on the menu? No, no, no. Listen, I'm treating you guys right now. You're going to learn a life skill.

There's a magnifying mode? Yes, there's a magnifying mode on your phone. It's not just the camera zoomed in? No, it is a magnifying mode yes there's a magnifying mode it's not just the camera zoomed in no it is a magnifying mode okay they have pulled out the phones you see this let me see the icon he has a quick hot tool oh my gosh he does and so if you go to the magnifying glass here's what's cool oh man here's what's cool you can take a little picture of whatever's on the screen right and then it's super easy to just you're you're numb you can there you go zoom in and scroll around and so now you just snap the the page and i don't have to have the flashlight out scrolling and reading the page you don't look

like the weirdo i don't look like the weirdo unless you saw me for one split second take a picture of your menu? Yes, basically. That's high risk, high reward. Because if you get caught taking a picture of the menu. That's not any worse than just. Oh, no, that seems way worse. You think that's worse than watching someone with the flashlight out for 10 minutes while they inspect their menu? Come on.

You're welcome. Okay. So changing light bulbs was the last pick and I'm on the clock. Is that right? That is correct. You're welcome. Okay. So changing light bulbs was the last pick, and I'm on the clock. Is that right? That is correct. You get two. Boy. Boy, oh, boy.

I'm trying to find a benefit here. I'm going to go wiping the counters. I'm going to go wiping the counters. All right. Sure. I am very liberal with the amount of the cleaning spray that I use. Get that ammonia in there. You need a lot of towels.

Yeah, lots of towels, a full roll of towels. And make no mistake, my hands will smell like whatever this chemical is from maybe two weeks after I do the counters. But it's a satisfying feeling when the counters are all clean. Yeah, I agree with that. I'm going to go with cleaning the countertops. Cleaning the countertops, like when you find that area and it's just got a whole bunch of tiny grains of something on it and you're forever and ever scrubbing at it, but they

never go away. You know what would be cool is if they had something that you push a button and that spray hits all your counters all at once. And then you just go wipe it. Like the porta potties that spray the whole thing down? Or like the misters at the grocery store? The vegetable aisles? Yeah, just one of those.

Just pure science. Just nuke the kitchen. Be sprayed all over your kitchen? Be some vinegar or something. And then my last one. Look, you guys are going to disagree with it completely. You're not going to respect it. I hope it's not my last one, look, you guys are going to disagree with it completely. You're not going to respect it. I hope it's not my last big.

But the thing is, is this is not something that every time you do it, you're going to like. This is something that when the weather is perfect, it's the pinnacle of all the chores. Oh, okay. Which is actually yard work. If the weather is beautiful outside, yard work is the most soul-giving chore you can do you love

being outside it's so much fun i can see how other people would like that it's such a small window of time that you go out and the weather's good from beginning to end and um so it's not always great but i'm gonna go with yard work in nice Yes, that does have to be specified because we live in Arizona. Yes. And yard work in the summer is the most punishing. That would be the worst thing you could possibly select. Honestly, you could die. You could die.

Yeah, I would. That's just why I don't do it. All right, I'm up to my final pick here. You are. This is the one I wanted from the get-go that I've never done. And I'm sure I'd hate in real life. But I got a visualization of this. It's almost like nostalgic, except I've never done it.

So I don't know what that word is. What's the word I'm thinking of? I hold it in high esteem. Okay, but you have an imaginary nostalgia. Yeah. Okay. Let me tell you what it is, and then you can tell me how I feel about it. All right.

We just talked about we live in Arizona. There's two seasons here. You got scalding, scorching, awful summers, and then it goes to winter, which is wonderful. Nice weather out. What we don't have is fall or spring, but we don't have fall. We don't have these beautiful trees barfing up their gorgeous leaves everywhere i want to do the thing where you rake the giant pile of leaves and because i want to jump in it you know what i mean okay there's this like i this visualization where i think this would be so cool and so fun and so rewarding but i've never done it so it's

not nostalgia what is. What is that? What is that called? I can't think of the right word. But I get what you have, kind of like just a daydream. Romanticize. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that is it. I'm romanticizing raking leaves.

Yeah, Josh says it sucks. Oh, I'm sure it does. I'm sure it does. But since I've never done it, I've got a romanticized version I'm sweeping I'm raking up these giant pile of gorgeous leaves and jump in it and have a blast I have uh I have like three trees that lose their leaves in my backyard really yeah wow that's so when whenever it happens I'll let you know and you can come on over bring a rake over because they take over the yard. Yeah, yeah.

All right, Mike, final pick. My final pick. I knew it would be available, and because most people, even the thought of having to clean this is too grotesque. What? But it is so easy. Once you get past the mental hurdle of cleaning the toilet.

What? What are you doing? It is the easiest. It is one of the easiest chores out there. Because of the tools? It is done so fast, guys. So fast. Not my toilet.

But it's. Come on. Hey, I'll do your leaves. You come on over to my place. I got a nice toilet for you to clean. I could do every toilet in your house multiple times before you're done with the leaves. You spray it down with the bubbles. Let it sit for a little bit.

Then just wipe it down. Get the brush and do the inside. It's done. I'm not opting into poop here. He literally drafted. He drafted a poopy thing. He drafted one of the worst chores you could do. No, it is.

I'm with you, Mike. Thank you. For what it's worth. It is a support. You shouldn't say that. It is so easy. I will clean all the toilets before you could do. No, it is. I'm with you, Mike. Thank you. For what it's worth. It is a support. You shouldn't say that. It is so easy. I will clean all the toilets before I'm doing yard work or raking leaves.

You guys like the dog poop? No, because that's in our rock yards. Maybe with bare hands, too. Yeah. Why don't you just do it like Bob for poop? Get down there on your hands and knees, you disgusting pigs.

Cleaning a toilet is so easy. i do it with my mouth i love cleaning toilets animals they're animals they are they are papa josh you don't respect that do you like cleaning the toilets yeah it's easy it's just a little gross yeah the gross part it's an easy chore exactly that's my whole thing is what did we learn today we learned i'm working around disgusting once you just like barf people like the initial switch once you've flipped it of like an easy chore. Exactly. That's my whole thing. What did we learn today? I'm working around disgusting. Barf people. The initial switch, once you've flipped it of like, I'm doing a gross job and I can wash my hands when this is

done, boom, this thing is over. All right, some honorable mentions. I put vacuuming in there if you need some good cardio. Yeah, vacuuming. If you put the AirPods in. It's a little bit of work. I like getting the lines. I do. Like the OCD getting straight lines. That's where mowing the lawn could have been a chore that you enjoy.

The lines. I don't like the heat. No, that's true. Any other? Washing the car is the only one that can break out into a water park. I had getting the mail, if that's a chore. Oh, no, that definitely is. If that's a chore, that's right up there with feeding the dogs.

It's over. I don't know how much it's a chore for you guys, but I do a weekly cleaning out the fridge. Yes. Weekly? Yeah. Good on you. Because, dude, my fridge is loaded with leftovers. I'm definitely going to eat this.

I do it monthly, Mike. Monthly? I need to do it weekly, brother. Sunday. It's the Sunday activities. Clean it out. That's actually a really good one because it's very rewarding at the end. Yeah.

Do you ever eat any of the stuff you're pulling out of there? No, no. It goes right to the garbage. Okay. Yeah. It's leftovers. All right. I didn't eat it the day after.

I'm not eating it a week after. All right. Let us know what you think the best chores are. We're just about done here. What did we learn today? I learned today I'm not buying a ball team. If I get $300,000 for finishing a marathon, I still can't get a ball team. So that means that $300,000 a day earned is worth, it's 18 years?

Over 18 years. So that amount of money per day billionaires have an amount of money you can't understand yeah that is an amount of money that a billion is a lot more than a million it feels like you'd get there a lot quicker than 18 go on like people make like little videos of like here's a grain of sand of like the normal person how much money they have and then they do bezos and you're like this yeah this is impossible how can one person have that much money i mean that clearly means that he makes way more than three hundred thousand dollars a day oh oh yeah he makes that in in a moment yeah that's insane yes he ain't running no marathons at all no he

doesn't need to uh i learned we need a better studio audience for Man of the People. Some of these answers. Yeah, and I learned that Mike is willing to endure poop for a small period of time. Oh, yeah. He loves it. Someone's got to do the dirty jobs in the house. I know why he did the

scat today. He earns $18,000 a minute, $1 million an hour, and $26 million a day. That's ball team money, Jay. Thanks for tuning in, everybody. See you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast.

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