Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 271: Bad Butt Days & Historical Figures Battle Royale - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

On this episode we learn about Jason’s fancy island escapades, how long we can survive in a zombie apocalypse and a surprise cuisine confession. We close the show out back in the coliseum with a historical figures battle royale. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. All right. You went with the wired jaw scab. I just said to myself, self, what if I scatted with my teeth clenched? What would happen? Because we've had 270 shows without the teeth clenched.

The best part, and I don't know if this makes it on the video or not, is seeing Andy have the thought. Yeah. Start giggling to himself. That was the best. I was going to try to keep a perfect smile during it, like a most ventriloquist scat. But it wouldn't. It would have been way worse welcome into the spitballers would you rather that's a great question and a special battle

royale draft for you today happy to have you with us thank you for sharing this podcast with your friends and family and anybody you know that enjoys laughter and and happiness and joy and a distraction from anything heavy and sad and loves education and learning yeah from wise really important life skills and historical facts from men with several honorary doctorates probably yeah many degrees like the deodorant. Right, right, right. Yeah. Yeah.

So we're going to kick it off. You can follow the show at SpitballersPod over on Twitter slash X. And you can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. We'd appreciate it. Follow the show wherever you're listening. Here we go. Would you rather? Would you rather would you rather oh no have every sneeze stop right before it triggers oh that's upsetting or every time you sneeze you sneeze out a giant snot ball. What? Yeah. What? Wait, hold on.

You're saying you've never done that? I'm not saying I've never done that. I'm saying, how is this a question? I mean, if every... Okay. How is this a question? I am taking the snot ball. What? Oh, yeah.

Because a non-satisfied sneeze is no relief at all. It's awful. I agree that I would prefer to just have a normal sneeze. If normal sneeze was the third option, we would all choose that. But you're telling me that the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, okay, it didn't happen. That is worse than, yeah. Yes. Way worse. You never sneeze. Again is worse than... Yes. Way worse.

You never sneeze. Again, you'll never sneeze. That's good news. No, it's not because you will still get the feeling that you have to sneeze and you will never... The sneeze will never get out. You want to know what I won't have? A snot ball?

A bunch of snot. I mean, you're choosing. You can cover your face. I'll bring a hanky with me. I don't need a hanky. I know, but you'll need therapy. I'll need counseling. You'll be a weird guy because you'll be going, yeah.

See, if this was, if the question. Anyways. huh anyways if the question was you have the unfulfilled sneeze every hour on the hour or every time that you do normally regularly sneeze so you don't sneeze that much you have a big snot bubble then maybe there's a debate but i don't sneeze that much i don't want a snot bubble now you've been sick before though where where you get a lot of sneezes. Yes. And that would be tough. That would.

Which one would be tougher, Andy? And you'd want the snot out of you at that point. But which one would be tougher? If you got your stick and you got the sneezes. I feel like that's kind of how getting sick is. You have a bunch of snot rags everywhere. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I'm already covered in phlegm.

You're covered in phlegm? When I'm sick, yeah. To be fair i'm already covered in phlegm plus you're covered in phlegm when i'm sick yeah you're sick you cover yourself yeah i'm fully on my side because i also think i that's right jay i think i would have a new world of like kind of like designer hankies that i would start buying and they'd be a collection of hankies and i bring them with me everywhere i feel like i'm in the middle of a crazy sandwich gentlemen used to carry a hanky everywhere we went. That is true. Yeah, I still know a person or two that does that. What?

Well, he knows people over the age of 75. Right? Yeah, of course. Because people don't do that. Do you want to know why people don't do that? Hold on. Who carries a hanky? I don't want to say.

Yeah, you don't need to put him on blast. Hold on. Hold on. It's not me. I'm saying if said person carries a hanky with them, then talking about them should be no problem. They will turn 80 years old this week. Okay.

Exactly. And do you want to know why people stopped carrying a hanky with them? Why is that? to know why people stopped carrying a hanky with them why is that because they realized that when you snot into a a handkerchief it's disgusting it is real do it around people yeah but you can fold it and then put it back in your pocket yeah no you know you've never taken a kleenex wipe the nose a bit and then put it back in your pocket? Not once that I can ever remember. That is. Yeah, I've done that. That's a bold-faced lie. I can't remember ever saying, here's my, like, post-snot hanky.

So you just waste trees? Sure. I'll burn down the forest. I'm not putting my snot in my pocket. You two are psychopaths. And then you got to launder the snot rag. Oh, gross. Might as well put my poopy underwear in the washing machine.

Snot is really gross. When my wife and I got married and we decided to have kids, we had kind of like made a pact that she's like, you have to handle everything with snot because snot grosses her out. And then I'm like, well, then you have to handle everything with vomit because I like, I'm like a sympathetic vomiter. That's a good deal for you. Yeah. So we made that pact. I still would agree. I'm anti-snot, a sympathetic vomiter. That's a good deal for you. Yeah, so we made that pact. I still would agree.

I'm anti-snap, but I still agree that's a pretty good deal for you. How about if every time you sneeze- You vomit? You vomit out your nose or you snot. Oh, I'm sure Mike would love that one. He's all into these. The biggest handkerchief you've ever seen. I am just the-

Just carry around a bucket with me, man. The getting into your body, starting the act of a sneeze, and then it shutting down is, to me, is just so horrific. My whole face starts tingling. Give me your sneezes per week average. If you could go on the watch, the Apple Watch tracks stuff, if it was telling you how many times you sneeze, which, by the way, we should be able to do that.

I don't know that it would be able to track sneezes. Yeah, your whole body convulses with a sneeze. You should be able to pick that up. It's like, I'm sorry, were you sneezing? Just ask you every time. So Papa Josh is with us. Well, he's old and disgusting. Papa Josh said four per day is the number that comes to

months. That seems high. I would say once a week. Yeah, it feels in the tournament. I don't sneeze more than once a week, unless I'm sick. I'd say maybe an average of once a day. Mike's a once a day kind of guy. Al? If you average it out,

I'd say about once a day. I don't do it every day, but when I do, it might be two or three sneezes in a row. That is fair. Raise your hand if you're on allergy medication, though. I bet you that makes a difference. So, Jason, do you get the multiples? I'm a double. I'm a double sneezer.

Two sneezes every time. You're a three-time? I'm a three-time. My son has a problem. Okay. None related to this. Soup's related to this. My son has a problem. Okay. None related to this. Supes related to this. My son has a problem, an issue that is-

That you want to talk about. Now, we're here for you. Yeah. I mean, I think he's okay with me putting this issue on blast because he knows about it. You can't hide it. because he knows about it. You can't hide it. He is insanely upsettingly allergic to vehicles,

to being inside of every time he... Now, wait a minute. When I take him to school in the morning, he gets in the car. Sometimes we make it to school. No problem. Great. But if sneeze one happens, it is 20 more sneezes.

Okay, that's impressive. And it just goes for so long where the whole car, the rest of everyone in the car is like, it's not his fault. He can't control this. Okay, it's getting a little. Okay. Stop it. Don't you dare sneeze again.

I got to follow up. Does this happen when he's in other people's vehicles i i really don't know are your vehicles in the sun i don't usually well i mean we drive we don't drive in the night i'm saying well the sun is a sneeze causer okay i have yeah we've got this corner at our church where every time we go around the corner every time right into the sun my son sneezes on the spot. Maybe that's what it is. Maybe he needs to drive with an umbrella. Just in the car.

Or give him an eye mask. You ever given him sunglasses? I have. I got him really nice sunglasses once on a vacation. And it didn't stop the sneeze? He lost them at the first. We went straight to lunch, left them there. Oh, wait, hold on.

You bought a child nice sunglasses? We were on. What were you doing? We were on. Yeah, it's pretty dumb. Okay, we were on vacation on a cruise. This is like we're on an island, a fancy island. A fancy island?

We're on a fancy island. That was the part. Okay, well. That was the part. More. That was the part. More and more relatable, Jason. Keep going. My point is there was no other options of like, you know, buying some Circle K cheap sunglasses here.

And we were at this place. He needed sunglasses. He tried them on. They looked nice. They just happened to be a little bit expensive. More than I would get my for these maui gyms yeah i think so oh no yeah yeah how did you know i don't think i because now like because because you are a mark because like that's the the new fancy like oakley was when we were a kid

it was oakley's now like older people especially like the maui gyms so it's the first time i've ever really seen him wear sunglasses and they looked so good on him we go to lunch immediately gone immediately go to lunch that's the first place we went we left that lunch and he's not used to having sunglasses he left them there yeah done so i have not bought him another pair of sunglasses. Oh, and based on my Googling, those are not cheap. Well, real quick question, by the way. If you have one episode

of Sneezy... I was trapped on a fancy island. We've all been there. You get it? Or as I call it, Saturday. Oh my gosh. Oh. By the way, if I had three sneezes consecutively, that doesn't count as one sneeze. That's three sneezes.

Correct. For your average. So that means if I sneeze, if I have an episode once a week, but it's three sneezes, then I average three a week. Yes. Just all in one chunk. Have you had sneezing attacks my son has because i've had the i've had like literally like 10 minutes straight where i i sneeze yeah i've had 10 straight minutes and you feel like you have been put through the laundry yes at the end of it you're just like you're tearing up like a car crash you're

crying what's that all yes yes he was one of those. All right, so Mike and I were on the side of satisfying sneezes with snot rags. If we tweet this question out, this has to be 90. No way, man. I don't know where I'll go. Well, let's ask the deuces. I don't know where I'll go. The deuces are everyman. Would you rather be able to sneeze ever again, or do you want the snot ball?

Or do you want the no snot ball? That's tough. I think you got to take the snot ball. Yeah, okay. Oh, my goodness. 90-10. All right, go ahead. I'm taking the snot.

Yeah. So I didn't say which side. I didn't say which side was 90-10. All right, here's our next would you rather question. Would you rather have to respond with meh anytime somebody asks your opinion or have to shout your answer at the top of your lungs so uh jason what did you think of that movie you saw last night meh it was okay i think you get to stop with meh i think you have to stop with meh

so your wife comes out how do i look or jason what'd you think of that movie last night it was so good oh yeah it's meh that's that movie is meh your outfit is meh people will stop asking you questions right when they know that that's the only answer you give to stuff also i mean obviously you have more tact and stuff, but sometimes you're going to have a negative answer. So, like, how do I look right now? You look bad! Right, because you have to yell it. Like, it's not just only positive answers you have to shout.

That's a good point. Sir, you look better! Sir, do you think you should have been speeding? No, I definitely should not have been speeding! Anyone yelling is just too much. The only place to yell is at a sporting event. YouTube. Yes, or if you're just recording a YouTube video, then you have to yell everything you say. How do people not watch YouTubers yell and just see right through it?

I don't understand how people can watch these and be like totally sucked in they're so excited about this average ordinary not that special thing they're doing well jay they added they added a new block in minecraft oh my god it's the greatest thing that's ever happened it's like and it works that's the most upsetting part is it works. These kids are like sucked right in. Yeah. But I think we're all with the meh. Yeah. Okay.

Meh. Yeah. Would you rather have to spoil the plot to every movie? Oh, man. What a monster. Or insult every person's musical tastes? These are both terrible. Oh, man. insult every person's musical tastes these are both terrible oh man i feel like i can insult people's musical tastes both with tact and without tact depending on the person you know if i'm

friends with them i don't mind insulting their taste i don't mind insulting my friends that is that really that big a deal now we can just have a debate and i can tell you why you're stupid insulting versus disagreeing are different like i feel like okay that's fair i think most of the time people i don't think many people agree with my musical tastes but it's like they're not like telling me why mine are bad they're just like oh no i like you know i like uh this type of music do you do you like country i'm fine with it you are such a stupid idiot see now that i've heard i was fine that one i've heard with with country country you expected that felt fine uh and the alternative was what if i'm spoil movies how can you do that how can you i mean to me if someone insults my

taste insults i don't think i care. Maybe I do. Maybe it will hurt a little bit more than I think when I am personally insulted for my opinions. Well, who do you respect? Who do I respect? Because you wouldn't care unless it was someone you respected telling you that. I respect my father. So if your father said...

Wouldn't give two farts. Yeah. You probably don't respect his music taste no no i don't so i respect mike's music taste you can get defensive or you can just be like this is a different stroke yeah you're dumb you're dumb for saying that i'm dumb yeah i think i have to take the music one i'm not spoiling plots for people i'm not any that person should go to jail yeah and there's no way to come back from it. Let's say you're the receiver of either one of these.

Oh, there's no undoing it. Instead of what you're going to do wrong to someone else, which one would you rather have done wrong to me? Insult my musical taste, that's fine. When you insult my tastes, all I learned is that your tastes are bad. Let me tell you a story about having something spoiled. We had a text chain, Bree, myself, my wife Bree, and myself, and two friends. And we all watched Survivor together.

And the text chain was like, you know. So the people you watch with, they know how to text? They have handkerchiefs. Yeah. So we watched the show together. And the best part was that somebody they sent a message to us and it was the episode had gone that week and the episode i mean if you want to know survivor it's very straightforward it's like the show happens for an hour and one person gets voted off and guess what if you know who that person is going to be

it kind of ruins the previous hour right yeah of course and they said hey have you watched this week and i said no we haven't and the very next thing they said no was can you believe when blank is gone because they misread it oh and then what i did is i had my phone out and i watched the text delete itself but i had already read it oh no at least they at least they tried they did they tried so hard and i and they felt so bad about it that's fine they felt bad but it was so funny because i had the text open and i'm reading it and i'm going oh no and then it just disappears but now like you remember that forever yes oh i can that person is labeled that and like there a – we're also in the football world. And I don't know if you guys remember this. I do.

Avengers Endgame comes out. Was that spoiled? And there was a pretty popular running back at that time. Oh, that's right. His name was LaShawn McCoy. Yeah. He tweeted the spoiler for the movie, and it had just come out and it was is he in prison i like i mean it it changed my opinion of him forever of like it's so selfish especially i mean that that movie

was a decade in the making for for us comic book nerds like this this was now going to be the pinnacle of cinema that you've been dreaming about this forever. Real talk. And to have it spoiled. Just for no reason. Would you rather have had him steal your wallet from your pocket and leave than tell you the spoiler of that movie? 100%. So, I mean, this is like, because you can't unhear something.

There's no fixing it, right? Yeah, it's done. You can get a new credit card. because you can't unhear something. There's no fixing it, right? Yeah, it's done. You can get a new credit card. Once you have, it's like, and to be the person who just puts that out there to ruin people's day?

Yeah. And, like, it's such a weird thing. I mean, accidents happen. Like, your friend, I get it. Yeah, that was an accident. I would remember that forever. I'd be like, hey, remember when you spoiled the show for me? I remember.

It's a red letter on you. Way back in the day, there was once upon a time. Give him the S for spoiler. The red S, yeah. Once upon a time, the Harry Potter books were not all out yet, and people waited in line after years when a new book came out. Oh, my goodness. And one of these books i think i'm i'm

okay to spoil harry potter at this point right i don't know there might be kids out there a big character dies big character dies in one of the books okay and it was a monstrous moment yeah and there was a a min. I remember watching this video. A minivan. I don't even know how they, they must have been like first in line and looked to the end. I don't know how they knew it. So they ruined it for themselves. The line of people to get the book that they've been waiting on for years was stretching outside the Barnes and Noble.

And this minivan rolls down the window, peels out like a hot rod, and was like, this guy dies! Straight to jail. Straight to jail. Right to jail. Straight to jail.

Right to jail. Forever. Life in prison. You're such a horrible person. What a turd. I think it's one of the worst things you could do. What a turd. What are you even getting from that?

You get nothing. You get talked about on this show. You drive on that. No, we just get in a pub. That van is legendary. Nah. Do we have time for another one, or should we move on? Let's move on.

All right. All right. That's a great question. Hugo from the website writes in. I'm going to have to stop you right there. Okay. Hugo, I have an update on the poll. Oh, wait. Did you post the poll?

Of course I posted this poll because it's ridiculous that anyone would choose a giant snot ball. I want you to read the wording okay i will read the wording which was copy pasted from our dog okay that's fine would you rather have every sneeze stop right before it triggers or every time you sneeze you sneeze a giant snot ball okay my choices were stopped sneeze or giant snot ball okay now i did put the giant in there but it was in the question. Fair. I did try to weigh a little

bit more towards me. It is It is disgusting. It is currently with 500 votes in 48 to 52 percent choosing the snot ball.

All right. You lunatic, disgusting people are in the lead. I'm going to be selling some handkerchiefs to a lot of people. What monsters are out there choosing that? You got a snot phobia? 220 votes in. It was 55-45 in favor of the stopped sneeze sneeze and i was just waiting to see it grow and grow and then it flipped and the monsters are winning yeah as you say you're welcome to the

new world all right that's a great question hugo writes in says how long do you think you could survive a zombie apocalypse now i i will say this i The zombie apocalypse concept, very popular, lots of shows, lots of movies, lots of thoughts about yourself. We all think we won't be the one eaten first. We all believe in different things. Now, Mike opened my eyes when he was over a few weeks ago. Okay. Gave you some of my strats.

You gave me some of your strats. So now I feel like I'm more knowledgeable. I mean, I feel like the first half of this question is runners or walkers. I was going to stop us and make sure we were on walkers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Runners I'd never consider for these kind of questions. Okay, good. Because they're outlier movies.

Yeah, they're outlier zombies. And you're all dead. And the answer is no one. Right. No one survives. How long did you last? One minute. One minute. That's. And you're all dead. And the answer is no one. Right. No one survives. How long did you last? One minute. One minute.

That's it. They're really fast. Because all they have to do is get any bite anywhere, and then you're screwed. All they have to do is make me run for 25 seconds. Yeah. Okay, so walkers. And then I just lay down. Do they, just sidebar, sidebar.

Do runner zombies have cardiovascular health or not health? They're infinite stamina. Yeah. So it doesn't matter even if they're like a really big zombie with bad cardio in real life. Their top speed may be slower, but these things could still sprint infinitely. I've never seen a zombie.

Right. That's like. A big chunker. Now you're saying you've never seen a bad zombie. If you watch zombie shows, you see all shapes and sizes. I'm just thinking, like, and again, this is, you're not going to like this. But in a world where zombies take over. Right.

Some of the most vulnerable would be potentially the handicapped. Sure. So you would have some people in wheelchairs. Yeah. I personally have never seen a wheelchair zombie go through the transformation and still be stuck in the wheelchair. Yeah. And I think it's a little. Because they would crawl.

Oh, because they'd get out. Oh, that's right. They would get out and crawl. And I've seen crawling. There's no way they've got the intellect to use the wheels. No, because they're zombies. Oh, my gosh. See, Mike.

They're brainless. I'm going to tell you this. Mike has his. I love zombies. Mike knows everything about zombies in the world, including secret tips to defeat them. I believe in Zombieland, they did discuss. I mean, they talked about cardio. Maybe they didn't.

I thought someone was like the evil, like you trip your friends type of stuff. But yeah, I love zombie movies. And what Andy's talking about is, this was brought to light to me from the World War Z book. Okay. Max Brooks. Never thought of this until you mentioned it. They talked about,

you go where it's cold. And like real cold. Really? Because at least during winter, the zombies will freeze. and they will be physically they will thaw they can't move them out there but there will be a time period where you are actually safe from zombies and you get to utilize that time period you know whatever fence structure wouldn't you go eliminate all the frozen zombies too you would probably try

to find some of them at At least the close ones. I wouldn't be confident enough that they're frozen. I guess that'd be a little scary. You might want to just use all your energy for building a fortress. I never thought about going up north. You have to survive in the north though. That would have been my first thought. It's not easy. I didn't think about specifically the cold.

You just die from the cold. Cabin in the wood. Which is better. Less populated. I would immediately drive north to some about specifically the cold. Yeah, you just die from the cold. Cabin in the wood. Which is better. Less populated. I would immediately drive north to some cabin in the woods. Yeah, you got to at least be up a mountain. Yeah. And up there.

Can they climb? I've got a little bit of an arsenal. So I feel like I could at least. Talk about your elephant gun? Yeah. So talking about my. It's a bear gun. Thank you very much.

It's an elephant gun. Well well it could take down an elephant uh but i'm pretty confident it could take care of zombie too let me guess you were stuck on a fancy island and you had to get something just in case he comes across like a 7 000 pound bear yeah right yeah i'm good you gotta be ready yeah i just my shoulder will be done but the me and the bear how did he die the bear god took no no no shoulder ripped off his body he was blown into the back through the wall but you know really and mike's even brought this up before i don't think on this show but if you're good enough to get somewhere and protect yourself from walkers right off the bat which i believe the three of us are intelligent enough to do that i think i think we'll we'll make it through the first like beginning yeah through exactly there's gonna there's gonna be like this

this initial climax of problem and then those who overcame that you think we're living in a new normal i think we're getting there. Is that three months? Six months? I think it's one month. Okay. I think it'll happen quicker. How many seasons do you survive after that?

That's when the real problem is, which is the people. Yes. You're no longer fighting zombies. You've learned how to live and overcome those monsters. The people who live in a zombie apocalypse are who you got to be real afraid of. Are you looking for the remote area or are you looking for the abandoned suburban

housing neighborhood? I mean, I'm definitely going remote. Because you're going to get supplies in the latter. If I can't... Go to the fancy island. He's going to get all the way to this remote place but then he's like, oh crap, I don't have anything to eat.

So I think your best bet is if you can really truly lock down a store you know what i mean if you can find a way to lock down a cost so you're going day of the dead where they day of the dead is they they lock down the shopping mall yeah there you go i mean the shopping mall seems really hard to lock down. Let's just go with group. Versus a Costco. Yeah. A Costco is wild. Or a dollar store. Dollar store. I'm just thinking of what you... It's a lot of ground to cover in a Costco.

There's no way you'd feel like you had all the entrances covered. But there's not that many entrances and exits, like a mall. A mall's got... Dude, people can get in there, man. Yeah, I mean, look, I'm not saying it's going to be easy. A Costco, you could live there forever. If you had to. Yeah, a long time. I mean, obviously, the frozen food's going to fall. Yeah, as long, look, I'm not saying it's going to be easy. A Costco, you could live there forever. Yeah, a long time.

I mean, obviously, the frozen food's going to fall. Yeah, as long as you have power. Yeah, you have all the canned goods. We won't have power for long. Good point. Two years. Two years, that's your final answer? That's a confident man.

Two years. That is, oof. Is that too much? No, I don't think so. I believe in you. Two years. I'm trying to think if I can beat that. I'm not saying I'm going to survive. Just a couple years.

Maybe a week? You're in a week? Yeah. By self-inflicted? Well, I'm just saying. I'm going to go a year. I think I can make it one full cycle. Well, now I'm feeling overconfident.

I didn't mean to. Mike's- Well, you're not factoring in- Your knowledge should be able to get you further than a week. It's... Well, you're not factoring in that... Your knowledge should be able to get you further than a week. It's not about... You're not factoring in that you have three children. I didn't say they'd survive. I'm leaving them immediately. When I said I'm

driving north, I did not say we're driving north. If it's on the table that I've got to go to the store to get milk and I never return... I assumed we were alone in this situation. Oh! I did too. If it's me and my family, a week. That's where I was.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe a week. Okay. But if it's just us on our own, yeah. That's where I went with two years. If it's just me, yeah, maybe. It's like 40 years. I think I could do okay.

All right. Kinsley from the website, another great question. Are animal crackers a sweet cracker or i'm gonna have to stop you right there andy oh okay we have an update on the poll it has flipped 52 and a half percent to 47 and a half percent stopped sneeze we're up to 1084 votes okay but you're on your side my side is winning okay thank you Thank you, people. Thank you for having... I just want a slight majority who aren't awful. No, you wanted 90-10.

I mean, I'm willing to just take a W. Okay. I don't need a landslide. Well, just keep us posted. I certainly will. All right, continue. Kinsley from the website, are animal crackers a sweet cracker or a bland cookie? My initial reaction is the latter. bland cookie the bland cookie because i don't if i i don't think of it's funny because they're

called animal crackers yeah they're not crackers they're not crackers they were always a treat well they're only a treat when they're covered in frosting but those are calls are different yeah they are those circus animals? Circus, yeah. Animal crackers are the ones where the box looks like a circus. Okay, no, that is the one I was thinking of. And then they're not frosted. They're the red box, and it's a rectangle, right?

Yes. Oh, mother's circus animals. Those are different. Those are the pink and white ones, right? Those are called sweet cookies. Those are awesome. But, I mean, you could say they're different, but they are the exact same thing dipped in delicious frosting and sprinkles. Like, the inside is the animal crackers.

But just pretend for a second you're not eating one of those. Okay. And you're eating one of the animal crackers that came in the box that looks like a circus. I'm so sad. And they would be given to you in the back of the car when you were a kid. Yeah, I'm sad. And they would be given to you in the back of the car when you were a kid. Yeah, I'm sad. And they're really not good. They're not good.

It's better than not having something. They were okay. Yeah. I mean, but a cracker. When's the last time you had an animal cracker? The mother circus animals? Yeah. That's not a cracker.

I'm just saying. You're drinking frosting. I love those things. I could eat those forever. So the plain ones. The plain ones, I don't think I've had one since I was a kid. I have self-respect, and I'm a grown-up. I can choose what I eat now.

Well, Papa Josh is coming in hot. Animal crackers are a great snack. Well, of course, Handkerchief Joe. Yeah, but when you were eating animal crackers, Papa Josh, there were no other treats. They do feel like the bit of honey timeline.

Oh, yeah. I finally found the picture and obviously on the podcast you can't see it, but they're like the little containers. That's not the box I know. Now I gotta find my box. That's kind of the current box, but I know they got a handle. The box has a handle um they are a bland cookie my final answer what's the difference what's a cracker and a cookie oh jason found the box yeah the difference is go ahead oh

it is a different box so yeah i found the box that that is the one you you remember and now everybody listening at home knows I found you the picture, the photograph that you were looking for. So, to me, it's a bland cookie because I still looked at it like a treat. Because you know what? I couldn't have one of these boxes every day in the afternoon, and I could have crackers every day. You have to put – if you can't put something savory on top,

it's not a cracker. Yes. You don't put cheese on these. You can't put – No, you don't put cheese. You can't put something savory on top. It's not a cracker. Yes. So you're saying. You don't put cheese on these. You can't put. No. You can't put cheese on these. Because even though there's nowhere near.

You can't put a little piece of pepperoni on there. No. No, no, no. Too sweet. There's not enough sugar in it, but there still is sugar in it. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of like kettle corn.

That level of sugar. Kettle corn has a ton of sugar. Yeah. No, no, no. I'm not talking about caramel corn. I'm a ton of sugar. Yeah. No, no, no. I'm not talking about caramel corn. I'm talking about like kettle corn. Yeah, me too. Yeah, that's pretty sweet.

Yeah, it's like straight up sugar popcorn. Some kettle corn is very subtle in the taste. Hmm. Not the kind you buy. I would never, never assume you would buy a subtle. To be fair, when I have kettle corn, I usually have the powder, the kettle corn powder. Yeah, that's not what I'm talking about.

So then I'm just dumping it and layering it. Yeah, I like your answer. I think the answer is if you can't put something savory on it, it ain't a cracker. Yeah. Well, you know what I'm seeing? The photo that you found, Jason, actually, it's called the Fisher-Price, but it's a game. But it's the exact same box, except the animals are not caged. What's the caging of the animals?

You used to cage them. Too intense for the Fisher-Price game? It's too cruel? Yeah, the old school ones, we really caged them up, and that's what made them taste so good. Domesticated animals always taste better, right's like lion polar bear wild dog tastes terrible just saying oh that's a good point all right oh i ate horse that's a big announcement that's a big announcement because it is illegal in the united states of america okay well well, now share your story, Jason.

Yeah, I did some international traveling, and I went to Columbia. And I was at this restaurant, and I've got the Google Translate out on the phone so I can read the menu. No one had a better... I mean, you were just waiting. It was like you were a quick draw on your gun, man. You've been waiting to scream into a microphone that you ate some horse. Look, I forgot about it until we're talking about eating these caged animals. And I remembered like, oh, yeah, I fulfilled a lifelong dream of eating a horse.

I didn't eat a whole horse. Did you eat the whole horse? But I'm looking through and the phone is translating. And I'm like, wait a minute. What? You're eating the menu in Columbia. Yeah. I'm eating a menu in Columbia.

No, you're reading the menu. How hungry do you think I was? Hungry enough to eat a horse? I ate a menu. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. And I did. Yeah. This goes back a good 20 years now where Jason, he knew that if he ever had the opportunity to eat a horse,

he would, and he would talk about it. The backstory. The backstory at our former company a long time ago now, this is like 20 years ago. This is how you start the conversation. Well, no, I think people wanted to jump right to the eating horse part. But a long time ago, I was a giant UFC fan. I was like like you know doing jujitsu and and there was this there was this athlete alistair overeem who went from this

scrawny little dude to this like beefed up gigantic steroid filled monster and everyone was like oh so what kind of roads you're doing and he's like no no i promise, no. I promise it's clean. I changed my diet and I only eat horse meat now. And so I was like, I got to get me some horse meat. That's it. That's it. 20 years later. But I found out. You're like a kid watching Popeye.

Exactly. And it's like, whoa, I got to open a can of spinach. But the problem is spinach is legal in the United States. Horse meat is not. Now, they didn't take you out back and let you pick the horse, right? No, no, no, no. Thankfully, this was already done. Not like lobsters?

Oh, no. But internationally, some countries eat horse, and Columbia, they'll eat horse. Verdict is in. Not good. Not good. It is super fatty, super tough. Flavor's good. Tastes like a horse?

Tastes like a horse. But I can say now I was hungry enough to eat a horse. Well, you can also shout it. That's right. I ate a horse. Oh, man. Okay. Okay.

Well, you did it. Now the people know. Poll is up to 1,400 votes. Stops, sneeze is still in the lead. By how much percentage? 52, 48. Okay. But very close.

Too close for comfort. Would you rather have every sneeze stomp right before? Hmm. Okay. All right, do we have time for one more or do we want to draft? We can do one more. All right, Ann from Patreon says, are clothes dirty if they aren't stained or smell bad? Oh, man. This is

a great question. That's a great question. Let's say our answer simultaneously, by the way, once you think about it for a second. If they're not stained and they don't smell bad. Can we add one more caveat to this? It's a maybe. To me, I've got to

include and aren't wrinkled. To me, that is when you put a shirt on the ground or in a laundry hamper and it becomes wrinkled, to me, that makes it dirt. Okay. But they come out of the dryer wrinkled sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes. They shouldn't.

There's a pretty distinct floor wrinkle. Do you guys have wrinkle solutions, by the way? Oh, yeah. Yeah. How do you make, like, all of our pants come out wrinkled all the time yeah you get a little we use a downy spray not a sponsor good product just down you want to sponsor the horse eater yeah uh these clothes have been on a horse eater um Um, but there's like a wrinkle spray. So you just spray it a little bit, hang it up, shake it out a little and you're good.

It works. Oh yeah. Works very well. Pretty chemical intense. Yep. Okay. That's what I thought. Got a lot of growth.

Uh, that spray is. Show me the, uh, link me that. Cause Josh saying that's great too. Okay. All right. But, um, are clothes dirty if they aren't stained or smell bad? Wrinkled. One, two, three. Okay. All right, but are clothes dirty if they aren't stained or smell bad or wrinkled? One, two, three.

No. Yeah. I mean, what makes them dirty? Good work. Dirty to me is I'm not going to wear it. So would I wear a shirt that isn't stained, that doesn't smell? Yeah, I would. I would.

I would. I was thinking there was one other quality Let's add it in Have you ever had a shirt that's too soft? No Too soft? Because it's like worn Mike, you ever had a shirt that felt too nice?

Felt too good on the body? You ever slept on a bed that was too comfy? Too soft? What is happening? You ever ate food too delicious. That's a big problem. It's too good. It's too soft.

Don't ask me what I meant and then go into another bit. But genuinely, how can clothes be too soft? What does that mean? What I mean. Do you want the answer? This feels so good. I knew you didn't want the answer. It just doesn't make sense.

I'm feeling this. Do you feel how soft it is? Put that in the washer a couple times. Ruined it. Got to rough this up. You got a Brillo pad? Just. All right.

Okay. Okay. I'm going to. I don't believe you're done. I'm going to shut up. What is clothes that are too soft soft have you ever had a shirt that you've worn too many times for too long and it just it's just before washing it no just in general okay just like an old ratty shirt you're saying it's close to the end of its life cycle those

shirts sometimes i'm using that i too soft was apparently the wrong way to describe it like getting too thin yes because that's what i meant by soft. It's like they're so thin. It's a different word. Yeah, I meant a totally different adjective. We're done. We're done. We're done. Okay, so it's not garbage. Let's add that in.

People wash their clothes too much. I'm going to say that. They wash them too often. I will say this. One of the things that I find... Underwear, every time. Yes. 100%. Socks, every time. Yeah.

Yeah. I'll wear socks twice if I didn't- If need be. Yeah. But what's funny about- Total though. That's total uses of the socks. You don't want to change your socks.

I'm ready to go. No, no. That's asleep because you didn't take them off your feet. Yeah. There's still one use. Exactly. It doesn't matter if it spans the day there's still the first use that's what i was gonna bring up about and technically that would work with underwear too that's what i was gonna bring up with dirty

clothes though is like you know if i come home after work and i'm going out to you know a nice dinner and so now i've got fancy dinner yeah sure fancy boy over here going out to a nice dinner and so now I've got a fancy dinner yeah sure fancy boy over here going out to a nice steak horse dinner and um and I gotta like wear I gotta change my shirt gotta put a collared shirt on or something when I get home I feel like that shirt's dirty like I need to take it off I put it in the dirty clothes but I'm like I only wore it a couple hours if I had worn this when I woke up it was totally fine to wear it for 10, 12, 14 more hours and it's not dirty until I take it off. But I wear it for two

hours and I feel like I've got to wash this now. As long as you didn't get sweaty at the restaurant then it's fine. Hang it back up. I just think we're not really even with our hours per wash of clothes. Well it's hours per wash and also just, you know, the area of your body.

There's no clothes that don't touch some bad area of the body, right? I mean, I guess. The pits are a little insulated with the deodorant. I mean, sometimes you have a good pit day. Sometimes you have a bad one. Yeah, what's with that? Yeah, sometimes you got a bad butt day. Well, there's never really a good butt day Yeah, what's with that? Yeah, sometimes you got a bad butt day. Well, there's

never really a good butt day. But there's bad butt days. There's worse. So then there are good butt days. Okay. I mean, if it's not a bad butt day, it's a good butt day. That's truth. So far today, guys, I think I'm having a good butt day.

Alright, you guys want to draft? Mike can check on them whether you are or not. Yeah, we'll draft. The Spitballers Draft. Well, well, well, here we are in our infamous Coliseum. Hyah!

We're ready to have a battle. And we are drafting historical figures to add to our roster, to enter that arena, to battle one another, historical figures from the annals of time. Yes, and there is a clear 101. Well, we'll see if there is. I mean, there was a clear 101 for me. Wait.

Hold on. The both of you have a clear 101? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. What? If he makes it to me, I'll be very happy. There's just no way it's the same. There's no way that our clear 101s are the same because I went to class.

I went to class. And I don't remember if you did. All right. I didn't. But to me, this is the clear one-on-one. Never lost a battle. Undefeated. Not my guy.

No, I know. Historically tactical genius. The greatest fighter known to many of all time. Conquered most of the world. I'm taking Alexander the Great. Okay. I'm taking Alexander the Great as number one. He's third on my list.

I think it's a very good pick. Yeah. And I like the record because, you know, he's not going to blow that hot streak in this battle with you guys. No, but the pressure's on. You know what I mean? Like now he's got one more battle. Yeah.

That's what they said about Jordan. And he lost sometimes. Not in the finals. And is that true? He was. Did he never lose in the finals. Okay. Is that true? Did he never lose in the finals? Are you kidding me? Yeah, he was 6-0. Welcome to the 90s. It's been a minute. But he didn't always make the finals. Dude, this horse meat is not serving you well.

Alexander the Great Russian? Where's he from? Greek. Oh, he's a Greek? Yeah. Yeah, I'm way off. You're thinking of Stalin. Greek. Oh, he's Greek? Yeah. All right. Yeah, I'm way off. You're thinking of Stalin. Maybe. No, no.

Okay. Which he's available, by the way. Yeah, I'm not taking him. I don't know if he can fight or not. I'm going similar to you, Andy, someone who I have no idea, Jay. I know who you're taking. You do? Write it down. Write it down.

Write it down. I'm looking it up, and at his peak, his people controlled between 11 and 12 million contiguous square miles. Changing my answer. About the area, about the size of Africa. I'm taking Genghis Khan. Yeah, yeah. That's where-

That's the 101? No, no, no. Oh, that's just who you thought it was. That's a great pick. That's my number two pick. Yeah. That's the one-on-one? No, no, no. Oh, that's just who you thought. That's a great pick. That's my number two pick. Okay. That's a great pick. When you were going the same route, I thought there was a different guy.

Like Alexander the Good? Well, I will end up drafting him. Yeah, Genghis Khan, infamous fighter. Somehow, like, I mean, his tactics are highly questionable questionable and there's like some weird i mean he's a horrible person there's weird yeah but they all were man when i was doing you can't take over half the world and be a good dude it's just amazing the quantity of these individuals that existed when i started looking up historic like we know who alexander and Genghis Khan was. But there's another list of about a thousand men who conquered people in bad ways. Yeah.

And amazingly successful. Yes. I've never heard of them until, like, researching for this. Oh, he only killed a thousand. Yeah. All right. I'm taking someone, my 101. Okay.

The 101 of my heart. The 101 that I thought Andy would take. Oh, I knew who it is. Yeah, baby. yeah um all right i'm taking someone my one-on-one okay the one-on-one of my heart the one-on-one that i thought andy would take oh i knew it is yeah baby i'm fighting for freedom he's taking william wallace oh that's right lads get in the i mean come on you you guys are leading armies but get in the fight next to me and i'm william wallace i, I'm ripping throats because I don't have my broadsword. I guess we're all going in here just bare knuckles. Yeah, you can bring in what you got.

Of course, nobody like Jason who, you know, Braveheart lover. Braveheart's my favorite movie of all time. I had to get William Wallace on my team. I'm thrilled. But now, I will admit, I am fighting. He's not even on my list he's he's on mine uh i will admit that you guys have great strategists great minds that have conquerors conquerors yeah famous i've got a warrior now i want the mind who is also i don't know

has just an art to his war. Oh, yeah. I'm taking Sun Tzu. I wasn't sure where you guys would have him. I thought maybe I could sneak him late. Oh, no. So he's just standing in the corner. No, he's still a human.

He's still in the scrappy. He had to have been a great warrior. Yeah. You're taking an author. I am taking Sun Tzu. It's not just an author. He's taking the author. Yeah. sun tzu not just enough he's taking the author yeah who who wrote the book on war mike our job is to diminish his picks i can but it's a good pick the dude wrote a book called the art of war that people still use today do you think

that at least one person somewhere in a war had it in their hands while they were running across the field and took an arrow in the chest yeah they, they were like, what do I do next? What do I do? Quickly turning the pages on the battlefield. When did that book come out? Looks like, well, I don't know. Let's look that up. Yeah.

Art of War release date. Was there a line? Come a line pre-release well there was a sometime an e-book in 2014 sometime between 500 and 430 bc wow that's a lot longer ago than i thought yeah as they say all right so mike you are back on the clock mike took okay jason took william wallace and sun tzu you have gangas khan yep and i have one name that i really don't want you to take well again i have no idea uh just to reiterate i'm gonna go with a man who has uh he does have a movie that has fictionalized his success. Well, not really a success by the end, but his exploits.

But, I mean, he was the king of the Spartans, baby. That's the name. Leonidas. Mm-hmm. Leon, dude, everyone knows the Spartans and their barbaric nature. Yeah. When you have kids, you're like, hey, go survive in the forest, and if you make it back, you can be a Spartan.

You can live. That is so savage. I don't know if they actually did it, but I choose to believe it. This is where the draft is turning. My Leonidas did. This is where the draft is turning. My Leonidas rip-kicked a dude in the chest down a big well. That was endless.

Right. That was history. Also, Leonidas dug that hole. This is where the draft is changing. Right. That was history. Also, Leonidas dug that hole. This is where the draft is changing. Okay. Because Leonidas would have been my next pick. But I've got two in a row, right? Yes.

Yes, you do. Okay. I'm going to take David. The statue guy? I'm taking David. Oh, the Bible. Okay. Yes'm going to take David. The statue guy? I'm taking David. Oh, the Bible. Okay. Yes.

All right. So you got yourself a sling. I'm like, I don't know. What did he do? Was he real? The statue guy. The naked David? We know that the statue is gigantic.

We've talked about it. I am taking David from the Bible. Okay. Okay. With his sling. Obviously overcoming long odds. Sure. He's going to be on my side with Alexander.

And I'm going to combo him. Classic combo. With Goliath? With Goliath? Oh, man. The team never- Have you ever seen them join forces? Dude, if you had David and Goliath, that's-

For one night only. Dave, former enemies, now friends. David and Goliath. Oh, man. Together at last. That's really funny. But no, I'm not going to do that. Because Goliath showed that he could get beaten by a boy with a sling.

So I'm not doing that. However, this is going to be a bit of a departure from where we've gone but okay i think it counts as a historical figure because this is long enough like it's hard to know all right what you count so be interesting i'm taking was he real he was real okay he wasn't he was real bad i'm taking jack the ripper oh that's right yeah that's a historical absolutely i just figured you know we go back long enough, and, you know. I mean, you're going to have to murder in this Coliseum. Yeah.

So why not have one of the best? He did his murdering under the cover of darkness. Right. Not out on a battlefield. Let's hope the lights go out. Well, as far as I know, didn't that Leonidas in that, was it 3,000? 300. 300. In that movie, wasn't there Leonidas in that, was it 3,000? 300. 300.

In that movie, wasn't there some eclipses? I mean, that's when Jack the Ripper will really be. Well, yes. Oh, with the arrows. Yeah, he said our arrows will blot out the sun. We'll fight in the shade. Look, I'm taking Jack the Ripper. That is my pick.

Jack the Ripper. Hey, I respect you. Formerly known as Jack. Later known as Jack the Ripper. Okay. I really got it. Guys, people, there's too many Jacks. Yes.

I really got to have a calling card. Yes. So I have the trifecta of Alexander the Great. Okay. David from the Bible and Jack the Ripper. All right. Also, I mean, it's King David eventually. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. That's fair. You're not drafting boy David? I feel like I have to. I mean. I mean, he's the one that won in battle. Yeah, you's King David eventually. Yeah, that's fair. You're not drafting boy David? I feel like I have to. I mean, he's the one that won in battle. Yeah, you got to go boy. I get them all. I get them all.

Yeah, but King David did not have the aim anymore. He was a great warrior. Yeah, there's a story that's much worse than Goliath in there. Yeah, but I feel like, you know. Well, speaking of worse, according to a quick Google search, this person is credited with killing, it's a wide margin,

so it's funny, between 40 to 100,000 people. 40,000? I thought it was 40. Somewhere between 40 and 100,000 people. We can't count very well. Just tell me when to stop.

How many people have you killed? Okay, 41, 42. This many? Okay. 42,000. That was 100,000. He's also the Genesis, the origin of the Dracula story. Yes.

Yes. I know who it is. His name is about as cool as it gets. It's pretty good. Vlad the Impaler. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And that dude, he did some bad stuff.

Much like Jack. You're called Jack the Ripper for a reason. It's such a good. Well, how does Vlad do it? Vlad the Impaler? Yeah. What do you think he does he's gonna impale you when we when we have our our guys announced at this coliseum 100 people will be like oh they got jack the ripper and then you counter it with an impaler yeah very strategic move wow hope you have yeah i know i'm looking at my list. I'm like, man, who's got the savage nickname here? I don't really.

I don't really. I got one nickname. Hmm. My nicknames aren't strong here. Frank the Meek. All right. What is my team right now? Right now, I've got Sun Tzu and William Wallace.

Okay. All right. Let's go to work here, fellas. This guy came back to me. This is very William Wallace-esque. I'm not just looking for leaders and looking for warriors, but I want a warrior leader. Someone who has been a gladiator and fought in coliseums before.

Give me Spartacus. Okay. Yeah, that's fair. I mean. He was real? Yeah. Spartacus. All right.

That's news to me. I thought he was just in that movie. There's a lot of extra lore and legend that I'm sure wasn't true, but he was a real military leader and gladiator. And did he ride the chariots? The chariots? I hope so. I believe he led a-

How fast could he go? He led a slave uprising of some kind. I got to think that's what gladiator was based on. Could be. Could be. We don't know. We'll never know. All right, so I've got Spartacus William Wallace and Sun Tzu.

Oh, he did. We just put it in there. He led a major slave uprising against the Roman Republic. All right. Was killed easily in battle. No, that part isn't true. All right. Also, while crying, weeped, calling for his mother.

And playing the lute. Oh, man. Okay, so I got one. Oh man Okay so I got one Singing Spartacus Spartacus Spartacus You know his friends call him Sparty Yeah that's true

I'm playing the lute Okay so I've got Spartacus William Wallace So I got one left. And, man, I've got a list of a lot of people that I would love to have on my team. But I think I am swayed by your guys, the Ripper, the Impaler. And the Great. And I don't know what this is, but I'm going to take the Hun. Oh, Attila the Hun.

I'm going to take Attila the Hun. The barbarian ruler. I mean, you've got a barbarian. This guy was a barbarian. From the Huns. Yes. How did he kill you? With the Hun.

He'd give you- Hunny. Yeah. So, Attila the Hun. All right. It's a good pick. All right. So I'm back up. You're back up. You have your final pick. Sweet. Uh, so my team currently, let me pull this up real quick. Uh, Genghis Khan, Leonidas, Vlad the impaler. All right. Uh, I will go, this is going to be a brutal Coliseum. It really is. Uh, wait till I get done with

my next pick. Oh, that's exciting. Um, Oh man, I've got a couple, couple that I want to get. I'm going to go this direction. Uh, I think she got burned at the stake, the eventually, but, but you know what? Okay. I'm taking Joan of eventually. Yeah. But you know what? Okay. I'm taking Joan of Arc. Yeah. Yep. Yep.

She's on the list. Inspiring. The lady's just so BA that she's out there fighting back at a time where you're like, no, you can't fight. And she cray cray. She cray. And Joan of Arc is just dominating. Very good pick.

All right. Love it. All right. So you have Genghis Khan. Jeremy, you had all these ready i did a french heroine and military leader joan was known for inspirational leadership and prowess in combat during the hundred years war was she eventually burned at the stake am i remembering that right oh i know i think that the past is tough yeah i. Man, I really do think that's right. That is correct.

May 30th, 1431, Joan of Arc was burned at the stake. That's brutal. All right. That's what it took to take her out, though. That's how awesome she was. She survived 100 years of war. I don't think she survived all 100. She survived two of the stakes.

Took the third. All right. It's tough because we all have a pretty good list. We have longer lists. I guess I'm going to go with, look, you ain't your Huckleberry. I'm taking Doc Holliday. Taking Doc Holliday. I tried to think back to somebody the most famous in the Wild West,

and it was him or Wyatt Earp. I have Davy Crockett on my list. I have Davy Crockett on my list as well. But only because he's the king of the Wild Frontier. Davy Crockett. I brought this name up earlier when I was asking people. Him and Daniel Boone are synonymous in my mind. Oh, yeah, they're the same person.

They're the same person, right? Those are different people? Yeah. All right, so i went with doc holiday for my final pick but i would love to go through some of our um honorable mentions uh i had written the red baron the fighter fighter pilot you don't get a jet that's what i figured yeah although you guys have stretched the coliseum at times. And then I had Sitting Bull as well. Oh, that's a good pick.

Okay, that's good. Was that the end of yours? Of the good ones? Al Capone. Okay, so you were really hoping you'd get to come in with weapons. Yeah. I did try to work that in there, yeah. Okay, all right.

Which Doc Holliday does. Well, if he has weapons and we don't, then. No, you get weapons. You get whatever you keep on you. You think Jack the Ripper was much without his weapons? Should have drafted Theodore Roosevelt. Give me the bear gun. That could have been a good pick.

I've got him on my list. Did you have Teddy on your list? I do. He's second in line behind Blackbeard the Pirate. Was that real? He was real? He was. Nice.

I got Abraham Lincoln. Abe Lincoln was literally the first name on my list. See, I. Nice. I got Abraham Lincoln. Abe Lincoln was literally the first name on my list. See, I would have gone George Washington over Lincoln. Military valor. No, it's not military. It's at least the American tall tail. He was a wrestler.

He had that mask. It's apparently incredibly strong. Can't wrestle the Delaware River, I'm just saying. I got Ragnar Lothbrok, which is a little bit of a Viking. Yeah, he's a Viking. Awesome. If you watch Vikings, you'd be like,

he should be the number one pick. I've got Nikola Tesla, just in case he could I had Da Vinci on my list. Yeah, find a way to elect him. And my favorite one, the one that I kind of wish I paired with Sun Tzu, because I feel like Sun Tzu's mind and this guy's abilities, we could do some stuff.

If I got my other two warriors, Harry Houdini. Dude, Houdini's on my list, too. That's crazy. If he can get out of things. Try to find him. Yeah. You know? How many people in there?

I just love the thought of you got four warriors from history, and then you guys are like, the magician. Yeah. The escape artist. Well, maybe they chain him up, and they think this is no problem. We'll hold him hostage, and then poof. Where did Harry go? That's like drafting who's the famous motorcyclist that jumps.

Evil Knievel? Evil Knievel. It's the same to me. All right. He survived so much. Do it one more time, Knievel. Good draft. Knievel, as his friends called him.

What did we learn today? I learned people love snot. It's disgusting. The poll right now, we'll call it finished. It's still going. It's at 2,144 votes, 52, 48. Stop sneeze. But still too many people loving giant snot balls.

I learned that there are regular islands and there are fancy islands. And I learned that I have actual real deep-seated hatred for the people who are spoiling movies out there. Yeah, as you should. You know what? Right to jail. Straight to jail. Right to jail. All right, thank you for joining us.

Back with another one next week. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.