Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 272: Gift Guilt & Hobbies We'd Like to Try - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: February 12, 2024

On this episode we discover we don’t have all the answers, realize that gift guilt exists and tap into the potential of half cremations, before bringing it home with a Hobbies We Would Like to Try draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on Twitter: Twitter.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Doobie doobie doobie, tell me your hobby, shadoink! Oh, okay, i'm in i'm in on it i think that gets that's great shit shit shit doink you just you couldn't believe it she don't think is the loudest word anybody's ever said there's i don't even know if capital letters does that word justice. That's capital underline

exclamation point bold trademarked. Was that show me your hobbies? I think I said tell me your I don't know man. I blacked out and then I said shit doink. Welcome in

to the spitballers. I that word that's a good i mean worse words could have come out your mouth uh spitballers episode 272 welcome in would you rather life advice and a draft today we are drafting hobbies you'd like to try hobbies you'd like to try. So that should be fun. I may or may not have started to build. I started to build a list, and I was trying to type it to myself in a little private channel where I keep my notes. And I might have posted my entire list in more of a community channel with you two gentlemen. Oh, man.

Well, did you delete it? Well, you screenshot it. You're darn right i did not letting that go not letting that of all the things to copy hobbies that i'd want to try well i gotta draft it before you my friend uh so we're doing that today yeah in the spitballers channels where i put it yeah that's fine it's a good place um and then then i heard you start to read them and then i go oh, you've got a similar list. I didn't know we were so similar.

Well, let's kick it off. By the way, you can follow the show on X at SpitballersPod. We appreciate your reviews of the show on Apple Podcasts or on Spotify. And we always, always want to encourage you. Share some joy with the friends and family in your life. Tell them about the Spitballers podcast. Make their lives that much happier. Here we go.

Would you rather? Would you rather question? Would you rather bite into a chicken strip and discover it's raw or eat a bowl of cereal and realize the milk is curdled halfway through? These are both bad. Halfway through? Yes. At least in one, it's like you start to bite. Oh, no.

What is this? Not ingest it. Yeah, I was going to say the halfway through means that you swallowed like a. Oh, no. What is this? Well, not ingest it. Yeah. I was going to say the halfway through means that you swallowed like a bunch of bad milk. Yeah. I it's funny because our family, my wife, she just celebrated her birthday. We went to the melting pot last night. The melting pot, if you don't know, it is a fondue restaurant.

And they have come up with a way to charge you eight times the money to do your own work. But it is fun and it's delicious. A couple of kids had never been there. And you have your cheese fondue at the beginning and then you've got your main course. And they bring out raw steak, fish, shrimp, whatever you order, and raw chicken. Now, if you cook your steak raw, whatever, it's fine, right? Because it's a slab of meat. Mostly, yeah.

So the inside of the raw meat has not been exposed to bacteria. Whereas like a chicken, you don't want to eat undercooked chicken. So I'm thinking, why do they let people cook their own chicken, man? It seems- I was paranoid. I cooked my chicken and I'd be like, oh, this is a little too soft. Did I undercook my chicken? It seems a health hazard

for a restaurant to allow that to happen. I have one way of cooking chicken, and that is to annihilate it. Just blow it away. I don't cook it until it's a brick i don't i don't trust the thermometers i like you do the the cut test and look on the look at the color of the meat like nope nope, I'm eating the bowl of cereal with the-

Really? Yes, because of this. One, I've enjoyed half a bowl of cereal. Clearly. I didn't notice until halfway through. Okay. Which means I'm going to make the extrapolation that it's not that bad. It doesn't taste-

So you can mentally do that? I think I could mentally, because I'm not worried about getting salmonella poisoning and being in the hospital. But it's just a bite. Let me tell you a little story. Oh, okay. Oh, you spit it out? Yeah.

My father once was, this was when I was a child, eating some frosted mini-wheats. And he was enjoying this nice bowl of frosted mini-wheats. Okay. Enjoying it. He ate over half of this bowl. In fact, I think he almost had finished the bowl when he noticed late into the cereal bowl. How is this possible? That were oh gosh little tiny no bugs no

oh bugs oh okay all right what were you thinking chunks you're just i thought wait bugs over chunks oh yeah oh no that's that's surprising no because you give me the yogurt chunks over the bug no because i because i can eat, but I'm going to feel gross. I will feel terrible. But my anxiety, if I ate a half a bowl of something that I deemed to be spoiled, I am the expiration date on the milk. This is law. Oh, for sure.

You cannot compromise. There is no court that can overpower. No smell? Smell test? No way. It doesn't. You can't trust the nose? I'll smell.

No, wait. Hold on. Let me ask you this question real quick. Clarity on the law. Okay. I just want to understand what is on the books. Yep. The date on there.

If you look at your watch, it's the same date. Yeah, that's bleach inside that. Inside that gallon. It might as well be bleach. So it expires actually like at midnight when that day begins? That's right. Exactly. Now, Mike, do you go through the full day? Eastern Standard Time. I would like to believe

I could, but I'm guessing that if I went and grabbed the milk and it was day of, I go it's not worth the risk. Not worth the risk? It's not worth it, man. What if you don't have any more milk? You're eating something else. What if you've already poured your cereal in the bowl and you're waiting to pour the milk in? Then you pour the cereal with everything in the garbage. You have to dispose of the cereal because you made a mistake.

Yeah. I mean, mistakes are mistakes. And the thing for the smell test is, to me at least, all milk kind of smells like it's on the verge of going bad. No matter what I smell it. I know i know that look rotten milk is is horrific but there's the point where it's it's turning have you ever and people with sophisticated sense of smell like my wife can she could tell you if it's rotten i'm like it's probably right here's the problem i just it's brand new no it's probably rotten it smells different if you already read the expiration date. Oh, yeah, okay.

That's a great point. You really want to smell it first. If I read the expiration date, I would never smell it after that because I know it will make me gag no matter what. I open that, the ammonia that is coming out in my mind. Well, there's some kind of poison. Yeah, I mean, no way. Milk just no way it's not gonna hurt you if you eat raw milk raw i mean if you eat raw milk if you're eating milk it's hurting you um but if you're eating it i see what you're saying the anxiety that i will have for the rest of the day

after consuming half of a bowl of then i find find out it's, in my mind, poison. I'm just going to, at every moment, go, oh, here we go. Here we go. How bad is that with the chicken, though? But I can spit it out. Yeah, but you know there's like salmonella stuff inside your mouth. I'll get the mouthwash. Residue.

To just finish that little story about my dad. Oh, sorry. No, no, no, no. That's fine. It's a great, great side track. But Andy was saying he has enjoyed this, you know, half a bowl of cereal. And then he found out it was curdled. Well, my dad did throw up.

Oh, he had enjoyed it. But the knowledge of I just had a bunch of bugs. Wait, so he was not. He didn't like receive that information with oh well. He received it with uh oh. He received that with oh my gosh I have just eaten food

that has been infested with bugs. And if there's honestly though, okay now you're thinking about it. If there's bugs in there it's because this milk is already poisoned. Like this milk has gone bad. Yeah, whether it's in the milk or in the cereal like bugs to me bugs don't want fresh milk they're not mammals they're bugs they want dirty nasty disgusting rotten milk the bugs were in the cereal oh okay because we looked into the box of cereal yeah

that makes far more sense. And found more. It wasn't in the milk. But my point is, once you discover what you have eaten, you can still pay the penalty on all of it, mentally. It's not like, well, it was good until then. What's the final word here? By the way, when you do the smell test, I assume you also then subject someone else in your family to confirm the smell?

Oh, my gosh. All the time. I'm always like, you smell this now. 100%. I am the worst with having good intentions with a nice chicken dinner, but then you defrost and you put it in the fridge, and it's like you don't make it the next day. And chicken, once you put it in the fridge, the timer is going.

And chicken, just like milk, always smells like it's gone bad. Chicken always smells like it's gone bad. Yeah, it smells like a fart. I've never opened a fresh, brand-new piece of chicken. That's why Mike makes it well done. Just breathe it. Mike, is that some fresh, raw chicken? piece of chicken. That's why Mike makes it well done. Just breathe it. Mike cooks it so long. Is that some fresh raw chicken?

Mike cooks it so long it's like a powder at the end. Yes. So when this question was asked, I thought to myself well, I know that you can get, you know, you always hear you can get salmonella from chicken.

You've got to cook it well. But how likely are you to actually get sick or not get sick if you are touching raw chicken? Because we all touch raw chicken. We cook. The three of us have cooked. We've handled raw chicken before. We rinse our hands or wash our hands or whatever. I soap wash my hands after every step with raw chick i yeah

the cell big salmonella has i don't i don't i don't know that they've done enough because i started researching this it's not good man yes because it's big salmonella well big salmonella is doing a great job let me tell you what they're doing out there. The CDC estimates that salmonella- That looking at chicken- Causes more foodborne illness than any other bacteria. Chicken is a major source of the illness. In fact, and this is from- In fact- This is from CDC.gov.

According to my data. And about one in every 25 packages of chicken at the grocery store are contaminated with salmonella. All right, I'm out. And even slightly undercooked chicken will not kill it. So it's like you're- This is at the grocery store? Yeah. Like-

Cook your chicken, man. Why are we eating chicken? Because it's good. It's not that good. Oh, it's good. It's not as good as steak. I like chicken a lot. Yeah, but think about what you got to do then.

One in 25 have it. And then you's not as good as steak. I like chicken a lot. Yeah, but think about what you got to do then. One in 25 have it. And then you got to undercook it, right? Or not wash your hands. So then those two have to come together. Like maybe let's just say one out of every 50 times you cook chicken, you accidentally undercook it. And then one in 25 packages has salmonella. Do the math, Jason, right now.

You have a 12% chance of- Oh, no. Well, I'm going to put out a cookbook about how you prepare chicken safely. How to overcook your chicken by Mike Wright. First, you're going to fry it for five minutes each side. Then put it in the oven at 475 degrees for 10 to 25 minutes. And once it's done, microwave it. Put it in the oven at 475 degrees for 10 to 25 minutes. And once it's done, microwave it. Put it in the air fryer.

Yeah, put it in the air fryer and microwave it. Final step. All right. I'm staying away from the chicken. Final answer. I cannot have ingested it. I'm going to. Or my day is ruined.

I can't eat that milk. I can't eat that milk. I can't eat that milk. I'm going to hope that... Look, one in 25. Just that alone. Okay? Those are... When it comes to odds, that's not too bad.

24 out of 25, this does not have salmonella. How many times have you eaten chicken in your life? 25 times? No, a lot more than that. But this is just a one-off. I took a bite of raw chicken. I think I'm taking the odds. You're doing the bowl of cereal? No.

I mean, you're doing the chicken. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Would you rather have to push start your car every time you go somewhere? Like the Flintstones? That's funny. Or have to climb in through a second floor window every time you come home?

Okay. Do I get a... Can I lock the ladder in in or do i have to set the ladder up every time do i have to climb an actual lattice the ladder is there but you have to climb it every time okay all right but do you imagine how bad bringing the groceries in would become now is it just your just your it's every time you come home so it's the first time in so you can climb up into the window and then unlock your door right and then on and then just take the groceries in it's just when you get home you gotta go in through the first entry story window if that's true that's not that bad it's not that bad to climb a ladder to crawl better than push start my car brother if i have to go in a ladder to crawl. It's a lot better than push start in my car, brother.

If I have to go in a ladder once just when I come home, that's fun. I'd like to go in my. I'm going to do that right now. I mean, that's a good time. You can do this. You can open a window and just start doing that every time you get home. Yeah. Yeah, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it.

Has anyone ever put an ornate front door looking like a front door? And I'm not talking about a nice stair entrance. I'm saying there's just a door. But it's a fancy looking front door and there's nothing underneath it. You're saying on the second story, you can't even stand in front of it. Right. You have to have a ladder to get in. No, no one has ever done that.

To answer your question, no one has ever done that. I feel like there are some super large houses that have a faux door at the end of a hallway or something. So on the other side, there's technically... Well, yeah, if you're in Toontown, that happens. Oh, that that's true it is from toontown yes but um i don't know i mean i'm in on this ladder thing i think it could be fun yeah i mean i figure i've got a shoot on the other side of the house how fast do you have a shoot like to get out yeah you're okay this is based on the popular board game. Yeah. Shoots and Ladders. Oh, okay. All right.

Because I haven't heard a slide referred to as a shoot in quite a while. Yeah. I was like, what is a shoot? Like a garbage shoot? Yeah. Or laundry. How fast do you, like what speed do you have to get a car up to for it to push start? Oh, boy.

I don't think you're going to be able to get it going fast. Papa Josh should know this. How fast can you push a car? Papa Josh has worked in the automobile industry. It's like five miles an hour. It's not much. You need space, though, man. Yeah.

Imagine being parked, like parallel parked on the street, and then you're like, I got to get out of here. Oh, parallel parked would be. You're going to have to go right out into the road, and people can move. Well, if you were parallel parked, what you would have to do, and you're by yourself, is you would have to turn the wheel, get out, go push it a few inches. The by yourself thing.

Backwards. Go get in the car, turn the wheel the other way. Go back the other side. It would take 30 minutes. Behind the car and push it four more inches. And you'd have to keep pushing your car back and forward, Austin Powers style, while stopping in the car to turn the wheel each time before you could finally push start it fast enough to get going.

But you have to run into the car. No, no, no. You go door out. Oh, that's right. I was thinking maybe you could strategically just park on hills and get this thing really going. You could, no. You go door out. Oh, that's right. I was thinking maybe you could strategically just park on hills and get this thing really going. You could, yeah. Would you pull up when you park and leave your back tires up on a curb?

Just for a little boost? I don't know. I'm just thinking like- I don't think the speed will be the real problem. No? Space? Space is much more- Like you would never plane taken ever but now it's like think about every every single time you ever get in your car how often if ever do you get in your car start it up and drive forward.

Only if you back in. Those great moments. Or the pull-throughs. Yeah, the pull-through. Like, oh, me in the car in the parking spot in front of me is gone. Check this out. I had an embarrassingly over-exuberant joy when I pulled into a spot the other day, and I was like, ooh, a pull-through. And I was like, yeah.

Yeah, I mean, because. Can't wait to get out of here. That's the issue I have with this push to start is that you're always going to have to start pushing it backwards. To get out. Yeah. I mean, you're going to change your habits. You're only looking for pull throughs.

Yeah, you can back into the garage. I guess you're just backing in every part of your spot. The answer is for me very clearly, I want the latter situation. I'm very intrigued by it. I think it could be fun. And it's imagine being pursued by a robber in this scenario. You're not getting into my house and then they have to climb the ladder after you. Yeah.

You think I want. Wait a minute. Hold up. You're saying that this is if you're being pursued by a robber, by a by a villain here that you want to climb a ladder in front of them? It's the best place to be when being pursued. I think it's the... If I was...

Let me put myself in the criminal's space. Yeah, come on up. Come on up, buddy. You're trying to get away from me. I get my feet. I'm just pulling the ladder, bro. I'm just... You make a good point.

You're on a ladder while I'm just going, oh, okay. I was talking about both people on a ladder. Well, I'm just going, oh, okay. I was talking about both people on a ladder. That's the best scenario. The rules of the villain are they have to climb the ladder. Yes. And guess what? I'm kicking them.

I'm kicking them. They fall off the ladder. What's the word? Shadoink. Right onto the ground. Okay. If there is a rule that all people chasing you must continue up the ladder. They're trying to break into my house.

If they pull the ladder down, they can't get my valuables. They're pulling the ladder down, bro. They're just shaking it. It would be so easy. You're so safe from home invasion if that's your main door. Okay, it's a permanent ladder. And I'm pulling the ladder up out. It's a fire escape ladder. Permanent ladder. And I'm pulling the ladder up out. It's a fire escape ladder.

Permanent ladder. Then I'm grabbing his foot and pulling. Oh, look. I'm kicking. Yeah. And I'm wearing cleats all the time. All I know is I would be more afraid to be the person higher on the ladder. No way.

You would be more afraid, but you're not as vulnerable. Yeah, you've got the ladder. No way. You would be more afraid. You're not as vulnerable. Yeah, you've got the leverage. You just start stamping down. Yeah, man. With my cleats. I mean, obviously in battle, you want to usually. One good stomp on a hand, that person's going, ah, because that's also the rules of ladders.

One hand is stepped on. That's right. You let go with both, and you fall backwards. I've seen the movies. Yeah, Lion King, bro. I'm taking and you fall backwards. I've seen the movies. Yeah, Lion King, bro. I'm taking the push to start. I'm taking the ladder. Alright. We got time for one more

of these or should we move it on? Good luck push starting your car in Arizona. What's that? Oh, I didn't think about summers. We can do another one. Papa Josh with us today. Judge Giamatti here as well. When you die, would you rather be turned into a diamond or have your ashes launched into space talk me out of space here well would you like to be a girl's best friend

there's a whole song about it yeah okay um you're worth more as a diamond well yeah but you're being you're being like tossed into a drawer potentially maybe you could you could be worn and remembered all the time it could just be you guys are this diamond thing is really like a attractive to you it's interesting but i'm more with you of like let's go how about a diamond launch into space put my space going to space take my ashes let me rejoin the stars i don't know that i would want like i i would love to go to space right yeah i don't know that i want my ashes like i won't i won't know or remember now it's like do you care where your ashes are um i want someone to be able to visit me i mean you you're personally i don't want to be i don't want to be cream you're not a cremation i'm not a cream i'm not a cremation

either yeah i'm curious as to why we both chose okay yeah i want to hear about this okay and mike are you do you have a request then i i'm drop me off on the corner man i do not care dude you can put me in the family oven yeah tax. Taxidermy me, cremate me. Nobody's ever done 50-50, by the way. Oh, a half burial? Well, that's just like a- Half body, half cremation. You bust the top half, and you flame up the legs.

Imagine doing the inverse. These are my sweet Donnie's legs. His top half was cremated. We shot it into space. No, here's his top half. It's just in this urn. It kind of feels like it would work the other way, but the- It does.

It's totally okay. I wanted to save- Because it's the face. Yeah, it is. The face is who the person is. Could you just save the head and then cremate the rest to have more ashes? I think you'd have a lot more ashes. And yeah, I mean, I would want the neck, you know, a little bit.

Because otherwise, you know, I'm imagining this mounted on the wall, of course. I don't think you want just the head. You got to have the neck. This is good. No, you want to hear why yeah why why not cremated why andy will you go first i mean my reasoning is that i like a place to go you you can still have a memorial to be remembered there's people have memorial areas where they keep the urns well but not like out in in like a rainy cemetery no

yeah they'll do those they'll put the urns out there yeah then what's the i mean but but why why not just bury the body because it's expensive it's more expensive to oh yeah oh yeah way more the casket i thought through it the casket racket you know how you can get half off, right? That's true. You just, you're like, could we cut that casket in half? What are the most easily burnable parts of me? No, I didn't know that. I don't think that's common, at least, to have like a headstone with an urn in front of it. Like, I want the headstone.

I want somebody to stroll through the cemetery and just be like what a chap he was did you know you could just put a headstone anywhere and not actually have to be there there is something you lose something yeah you absolutely mostly because the body's not beneath it yeah you want you want to visit the bones you know that's that's what you want when you go you didn't answer no but so here's you want to visit the bone psychotic like really breaking this down no no no we all visit the bones of our ancestors i think really breaking this down you shouldn't be cremated because like i mean sometimes for for whatever reason you know body needs to be exhumed or or maybe they you know who knows what they need in the future

he doesn't want to lose his chance of being resurrected exactly yeah okay i already signed up for one of those cryo things you show me where um no no i I have not yet. Not yet. Not yet. Yeah, I just feel like keeping whatever is left of me intact is more practical. You want to be exhumed? Potentially. I feel like if you- He wants a family member one day when they invent something to be able to go dig into the ground,

pull his DNA out, and resurrect him like a mammoth. That's wild to me. Because I would have assumed someone who wants to be buried is like, do not disturb my remains. You think it's a rest in peace situation? Yeah. If you're ashes, if you are now ash, do you have DNA? No, your DNA is toast, man. Really? It probably gets burned up. It's toast. Interesting. are now ash. Yeah. Do you have DNA? Is that? No, your DNA is toast, man.

Really? It probably gets burned up. It's toast. Interesting. That's ash. Okay. It's ash, man. But they could do like a, like take a couple strands of your hair and just put them in

like a baggie. Oh, pre-burn. No, no. Oh, you're saying before. Before the burning, you just say. And then they just tape it on the back of the urn. I assume I won't have hair by the time I die. So we got to find something else.

Maybe just keep a finger. Some skin cells, that's fine. A finger. I mean, look, I need part of me that you visit. Haven't you ever seen Fifth Element? They can bring them back from a small part of something. I have seen the- The Fifth Element?

The very true story. So you don't care? So is it like spouse's choice in your situation? Yeah. Whatever you're feeling in the moment? Yeah. If I have to make the decision, I'll go cremated. For the sake of the show?

Okay. Because you don't care? Will you go 50-50 for us? Sure. Okay. Why would you choose that? Cheaper. Interesting.

You just care about cost to the next generation. I actually thought your reason was going to be cost, but I thought that's why you would go the other way. The what? I thought you- Just to drain the money? To drain, yeah. That's my money.

That's my money. You spend it on me, and you will respect my body and my wishes. I want to be buried with 50 pounds of gold. All right. Make it happen. Quick break and we'll be right back. Spitballers to the rescue. One of things we you know enjoy doing on this show uh is answering life advice questions from from people out there that maybe you know you need help from experts

life experts right difficult uh circumstances yeah uh Hard time in your life. Important moral, ethical dilemmas. Interpersonal conflicts. All the things we're experts on. All right. Like getting buried. Like getting buried. Brett from the website, which I am recommending the 50-50 from this point on. Gentlemen.

The best of both worlds. Oh, you get a half a casket. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Oh, man. Just cut in half. It's like a magician thing. We can go split skis. Me and the wife, we just split a casket. So someone's got I'm saying. Oh, man. Just cut in half. It's like a magician thing. We can go split skis. Me and the wife, we just split a casket.

So someone's got to pick legs. That means someone's got to pick legs. You're going to be wearing her legs. No, you can put the half in each half. No, I know, but you don't want, like if you put the halves right next to each other and line them up, you don't want it to look like one torso going into another torso. You've got to have torso going into leg. Oh, one burial plot and it's two people all right sorry life advice question from brett on the website

says gentlemen i've been married for 10 years now my wife is an attractive lady but i've noticed over the last few years she's starting to wear more and more makeup in order to combat her aging i appreciate that she's wanting to maintain her looks, but I'm not digging the new too much makeup look. How do I bring this up without getting myself into hot water? I've tried dropping the I think you're pretty without makeup line, but she's not biting.

You have come to the right place because if I know anything about Jason more, he knows the answer to this question. I don't know this answer, but Jason probably does. Look, Brett, I hope that is not your name, okay? I hope that you are using an alias here because otherwise, I mean, your wife knows who you are. You know, she sees what you're seeing.

She knows that you don't like it, but she's making a choice. She's thinking that this one is better than the alternative because careful what you wish for brett careful what you wish for you think oh yeah i like that she's trying to keep up her peers i don't like the makeup that much what if she goes no makeup and you go the last line was i think you're pretty without makeup he doesn't know he does know i don't know, man. I think maybe. Is she like the shows where it's like the wife has to wake up before the husband so they can get all the makeup on? Is that a thing?

I think that was a thing like in the older times. Really? Oh, for sure. Like never reveal your face? You will never see me without makeup. That's a real thing. That's a real thing. That was a real thing. Look, the answer is clearly you're screwed.

You have no opportunity to say anything here. I have no answer for you. Okay. I cannot fathom one sentence that would possibly successfully work if I think you're pretty without makeup did not work. All right. How about this? How about this? How about this?

A nice, you know, pretty hefty gift certificate to a nice, like, spa. Okay. And you're going to leave it open, right? You know, go get a massage, you know? Uh-huh. But you could go get Botox. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's her choice.

But, like, they, they you know find a nice place that does good facial work what if that's not you gotta how do you convince somebody to take off makeup yeah but if if if if she's doing this to combat her aging I've got an idea automatically my idea was what if you start talking about yourself say hey I've you know the crow's feet they're coming in this like I mean I have a because of my scowl my all my resting angry face I have you got the lines

like no the line between my eyes is like it's the wrinkle is about as deep as it possibly gets so you say I'm self conscious about these things for me I'm gonna go and I'm gonna get and then you go in and you get yourself a little. Oh, there you go. I thought you were going to say, even with all these, I'm just going to age gracefully.

No. But it wasn't. It was, I'm going to go get this fixed. Yeah. That's a smart idea, Mike. And then you get rid of your wrinkles, too. She's not going to stop wearing makeup. Well, no.

of your wrinkles too she's not gonna stop wearing makeup it's a well no if she's doing this to combat her aging then she will not feel like she has to cake it on when she's less wrinkled this is brilliant mike two i have two other ideas fix your face progressively progressively reduce the size of all her makeup tools to be smaller and smaller every day how do you do that practically speaking how do you do that? Practically speaking, how do you take a makeup brush and then tomorrow have it be a slightly smaller makeup brush? You buy a series of smaller brushes and change them out slowly over time. And that way it's at least more burdensome. Maybe she gets tired of it.

Are we talking like you would notice the difference from day one to day two or it's so gradual that this whole plan will take you years? I'm hoping that, yes, it will take years and I'm hoping that she just gets tired of how long it's taking with the smaller and smaller brushes. Or you get a hold of all her recent pictures and you Photoshop them so they're so much worse

than reality so that she connects the dots to looking bad in photos to too much makeup. I think that won't work. I think that will cause more makeup um how about alternatively cover up what you think she looks yeah exactly what if you start applying makeup brett your own she might not like it and she asks you i don't think i like you with blush and you say back at you babe huh do they make makeup that's like that

you know they have the markers where like if you draw on a certain kind of paper it doesn't show up at all like the invisible is there an invisible makeup situation maybe she just wants the habit she just needs the process we are out of our

we have no idea we have no idea this is our depth what i'm sticking with mine then i'm sticking with you know what if she if she doesn't want i'm still gonna go yeah i'm gonna go take care of my wrinkles absolutely i'm with mike on this go botox your face brett if that is even your name martin from patreon recently found out that a christmas present we were given by my in-laws this year was actually given to them by my brother-in-law. I want to give it to my brother-in-law next Christmas.

My wife says no. How do I let my in-laws know that we know without bringing it up directly? I mean, partially reminds me of a very funny video that I saw where an older grandmother at a Christmas event with her whole family. They had secretly taken items from her own house, wrapped them all up and given them sequentially to her as her presents from the family. Oh, my gosh. Or actually, no, they were giving them to each other and they would open them up and then she'd end up going i have something just like that and they did it four or five times then eventually she realized she goes wait guys did you wrap up things from the house but um the re-gifting i mean the re-gifting is let's just call a spade a spade when you can do it and you just unlocked not having to buy a gift, it's pretty great.

It's fantastic because the truth is you don't re-gift stuff you love, right? Correct. You're also not trying to give a bad gift, so you think it's re-giftable and someone else it might apply to better. So it is a win-win. You get rid of nonsense you don't need in your life. You don't have to buy a gift and hopefully if if if it's a re-gift done well then um you know it's it's still loved by the receiver now let's call a spade a spade that's one percent of the time that's one percent of the time that re-gifting is loved by the you're saying because if a crap gift is a

crap gift it's a crap gift that's exactly what i'm saying this was risky by the... You're saying because if a crap gift is a crap gift, it's a crap gift. That's exactly what I'm saying. This was risky, by the way. The in-laws from the brother-in-law. This is an inner family regifting. That was a risk they took. I'm trying to figure out what's most important here to Martin because he says, how do I let my in-laws know we know? So is that what it comes down to?

Is that Martin simply wants them to know that we know you regifted? down to is that Martin simply wants them to know that we know you re-gifted? I think maybe he wants them to know so that when the gift is given at Christmas to the brother-in-law, they're both in on it. Because that would be funny. So, here's the thing.

So, you want to give it to your brother-in-law next Christmas. Wife says no. I just recommend two gifts. Get a gift that you uh a real gift a real gift and then also wrap this one yeah and give it to them and then you know and then just give them that stare down when yeah the jig is up there in their eyes when they open it we should i'm bringing a public service here re-gifting, we need to remove all

negative social stigma upon regifting. You're saying it's the consequence of buying a bad gift for somebody. And it just, it happens. You're giving someone a gift, sometimes you hit the mark, sometimes you do not. And you know what? If you get someone something they don't want,

it's okay. That should not then all of a sudden be the gift giver. Oh, I'm so insulted. You didn't like my gift. You were the one who screwed up. And it's okay because sometimes you miss. And to be able to give it to someone else. Not every person can handle that, Mike.

That's why I'm putting it out there that people need to cut that crap out. It's very Mike of you. The people. I'm sorry it out there that people need to cut that crap out. It's very Mike of you. The people. I'm sorry for being pragmatic. There are a certain category of people. Yeah, got to get over it. Who find a lot of necessary value in the- Getting the perfect gift?

Just in the reaction. Yeah, the reaction to the gift. Of the gift of the gift like they really need to know how much you love what i just got you so important people you need to ham it up for oh yeah for sure it doesn't matter whether it's good or bad mike doesn't like any of this no i don't these social situations no i i don't like do you not have those people in your life? I am aware of it. I have experienced it. But what I don't like then is it is no longer I am giving you a gift because I want you to have a gift. And now it's I'm doing something that you think is for you, but guess what? It's about me.

Yes, it is. That is 100% what those people are doing. Okay, the reaction maybe. But if you give somebody something that you think that they're going to really enjoy, and then later on you get to watch them enjoy it, it is very satisfying. Sure. Because you're happy for them. That's not about you.

No. My sister got me a hat for Christmas that she put effort into getting. And I didn't know this, but she had been watching our footballer show every day until I finally wore the hat. And then she was really excited that I wore the hat on the show. Right. Now, was that about her? No.

But if you had not liked the hat, you never would have worn it. Correct. But my point being is that it should not matter. If you give a gift to someone, you're hoping they enjoy it. It will bring you joy as the gift giver to see them like it. There's a lot of guilt mixed up in gifts. Yeah. That's the right word.

There can be guilt mixed up in gifts. Guilty gifts. It's a gift. This is why I hate gifts. This is why I hate gifts. I hate them. I hate receiving gifts. The worst thing you could ever get somebody is like a big painting.

That's the worst gift you can give yeah even if you think it's the best painting ever you got to do the thing where you you have that painting nearby and you swap it out when they come over oh you you were stuck because if somebody gives you something like that you either have to hang it somewhere prominent or have a reason why you don't gives you something like that you either have to hang it somewhere prominent or have a reason why you don't oh man coming up with a reason why you don't is not yeah it's not good here no that's where you literally it might be better to rent a house and just be like yeah i have it another house like just to protect yourself i mean if it's fine art that one's easy we got robbed oh nice nice one they only took the painting.

I spilled orange juice on it. On the wall? It was a thief of such distinguished taste. He climbed the ladder, got the painting, climbed down the ladder, and took off. All right. I think we settled that one. We did. Brandy from Patreon, one last life advice question for us.

I bought a mini fridge off of Amazon. It had a tiny dent in the corner. I mentioned it to Amazon, and they said because a fridge is listed as a food item, they cannot accept a return. They said they're sending me another mini fridge at no cost and to dispose of the old one. Is it wrong to sell the dented one? When I was told to dispose of it is

this stealing or unsavory no no it's not unsavory at all no you're not doing nothing wrong they told you to keep it yeah can you sell trash yeah that's not wrong or unsavory yeah it's just no one's probably buying it but they're gonna buy this fridge, it's a mini fridge, so you could double deck this thing. You know what I mean? You could just go one on top of the other. Keep them both. Amazon's not in the business of, like, guaranteeing this hits the landfill in order to allow them to send you a second one. That's not how it works.

So, yeah, this is yours to do what you will. Now, personally, I'm viewing this like we do fantasy football i'm trading the not dented one you're selling selling oh you're gonna keep the dented one absolutely what's wrong with the dent yeah what's wrong with the dent but it's gonna it's gonna lose me money on my resale now i gotta look i'm selling a brand new refrigerator or i'm selling a dented used one you could probably now here's where you would get a problem, maybe. Same exact scenario. You get the new fridge in.

You're supposed to dispose of the old one. You decide to return the fridge. You return the new fridge without a dent. You get a full refund. You still have the old dented fridge. And that is the answer. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Because if you're saying you can sell the non-dented fridge to the public,

can you refund the non-dented fridge and keep... I feel like if the company reaches out and says, we're going to send you a new fridge, don't send it back. We can't accept it because of actual rules and laws about these things. Then you just say uh just refund me the money and then they'll be like please send us the dented fridge back but they can't they can't take it back it's the weird thing you know when you go to uh just a restaurant or especially fast food because you see it happen oh yeah you walk up to the counter you say uh i i

ordered this without mustard and i bring that because mustard if mustard's on a burger it's there you can't i'm saying if you don't like mustard you can't take it off because it will still taste like mustard they say oh we'll fix that for you right then they just throw it in the garbage you're like well hold on hold on someone will eat this burger what do we garbage will eat it and And that someone is me. Yeah, I got a friend right here. I got mustard on this. I'm going to need it redone.

I'm going to hold on to it. I'm not saying, and I'm not condoning to work the system, but I'm saying if they screw up, there's got to be a better way for us than just throwing away food that's ready for someone to eat. At least give it to one of the employees you should have one person in the back that eats it all that's what i'm saying ted yeah ted's in the bag you give them all the food that came out wrong teddy trash can um all right quick break back with

our draft The Spitballers Draft. All right, we are looking at hobbies. Hobbies you'd like to try at some point in your life where you're drafting hobbies. You'd like to try. Yes. I'm excited about this. some point in your life where you're drafting hobbies you'd like to try yes i i'm excited about this there there are some things in my list that i've done before and i think i'm going to take those off okay just under the premise that like

i really want to pick stuff that i've never done before in my life that i'm interested in trying you want you're allowed you could have also just drafted things and said you've never done it, and we would not know. See, that's unsavory. Okay. That's like keeping the fridge. It's a man of principle. Mike.

All right, I'm the first pick. Yeah, what do you want to try? What's your hobby that you're interested in? I have talked about this hobby many times on this show. I still have never tried it. I've never gotten the opportunity to try it, many times on this show, I still have never tried it. I've never gotten the opportunity to try, but it's because I have not made that opportunity happen.

There's no one to blame but myself. That's with all of these. I think I know what it is. What letter does it start with? It starts with a B. Blacksmithing. Blacksmithing. Yeah. The creation and formation of things out of metal is so fascinating to me.

It's really got you, huh? Because, like, you know how you can get trapped in the swiping of certain videos, catch your eye. Like, if I ever get hit with the algo of people, it's just outside is snow. There's snow everywhere. It's coming down, but you're in this warm house with a furnace, and then you're able to do blacksmithing, and they're beating the crap out of forming a sword on an anvil.

Something about it is just like there's something deep inside of me. Your Nordic background. Yeah, possibly. Or dwarven, potentially. Could be that as well. background yeah possibly dwarven potentially could be that as well but there's just something about making fashioning something out of metal with your hands sounds so appealing you like the the romanticized like you finish the long day's work you go into the bathroom you look in the mirror you're kind of just you have a glisten with a black glisten yeah i've got the that what

ash i guess yeah sure sure so yeah i was gonna say soot but is that does that happen josh can't Glisten. Yeah, I've got that ash, I guess. Yeah, sure. Soot. I was going to say soot, but does that happen, Josh? You can get soot from blacksmithing? Are you a blacksmither? It is definitely soot. Okay, so I'm just covered in soot. Yeah. That's a day's work. Yeah.

All right. When that's what hobbies are, it's a day's work. All right. I that's what hobbies are, it's a day's work. All right. I'm going to go. So I'm. Wow, Jay, it's your first pick. The problem that I have with this draft in general is I want to draft something or several things on my list. want to draft something or several things on my list i want to do it knowing that i would then be good at this hobby but that's not really what's happening here we're just trying so you're gonna

find out whether you like it exactly and i already know on some of these is not gonna work out so do you really want to try them like if you had the chance to go try one today that's how you have to draft so the number one thing that i would want i am not going to draft because the for the same reason i haven't done it in real life because i don't think i'd be good at it i would love to be good at it i'll leave that in case one of you guys uh drafts it okay instead something i think i will i would do fine at i would enjoy i would love in fact, I got a taste of this recently a couple months ago. And man, did I fall in love with it. And it's fallen out of the sky.

I would love to do skydiving. But like as a hobby. Not like go skydiving. Why did you say you got a taste of it? He did the indoor. I did the iFly. The indoor skydiving. That is a taste say you got a taste of it? He did the indoor. I did the iFly, the indoor skydiving. That is a taste.

And it was so much fun to me. It was, I loved it way more than I thought. I thought it would just be like, that's neat. And I was like, this is awesome. And so like if I did skydiving as a hobby, I don't want to go skydiving. Like I don't even want to go try it once. I would want to get into it where like Sundays are, you know, I go skydiving. Like, I don't even want to go try it once. I would want to get into it. Where, like, Sundays are, you know, I go skydiving.

You're doing a bunch of jumps. Yeah, exactly. It's like that's just part of what I like doing in my life. Like Jason the Skydiver. Yeah. That's what they call him. That's what they would call me. Covered in soot after a hard day's work.

All right, so skydiving. All right. All right, my first pick here when you asked now that i'm looking back at it you said i got a taste of this yeah did you think like i fell down the stairs something like i was on my roof and i was like whoa into the bush i did have the mental picture of you jumping like 10 feet from something and being like, this is a good time. It's hard to get a taste of skydiving. That's why I laughed at it.

But you really, going to an indoor one was a taste. Yeah. He's got a cape strapped. He jumped off his roof once. He's like, you know what? All right. My first pick is going to be something I've never done that people enjoy tremendously. So he says he's never done.

Right. People build a lot of their lives around this hobby, but I've never done it, and I'm going to turn 40 this year, and that is skiing and snowboarding. Oh. I've never done it. I know people that they're obsessive about it. Every winter they go on ski trips. People seem to absolutely love it. people that like they're obsessive about it every winter they go on ski trips people seem

to absolutely love it so it seems like something i should have tried but now i feel like you know 20 was about the right age to to ski i feel like now my odds of hitting the tree much higher yeah it's not the tree you need to worry about. You need to worry about your bum bum. I've been snowboarding one time. Okay. All right. During the training, like the first time I went down any sort of hill, I ate it. I bruised the crap out of my tailbone immediately at the beginning of this ski trip. And I'm telling you, this was a new pain.

This was a pain where I'm like, we have more days. First I got to finish this day, and then we have more days. I'm like, I don't really need to do it. Now, let me ask you, Andy, you said skiing and snowboarding. Well, we can give you both. That's 100% why I said it like that. Right, right, right. But if you were to go up to Big Bowl right now or whatever, you would choose skiing.

I would choose skiing. Yeah, I would too because I believe it's easier. It has to be. It is. You have two legs instead of one. I mean. Yeah, my. And you don't have to fall on your bum bum when you fall.

Right. Yeah, maybe. It's far less likely. Oh, maybe. It's far less likely. You do the splits instead. Dude, the terror of the ski lift when you have no idea what you're doing is rough. It's rough.

Get your kids skiing so they know how to do it. But learning as an adult, I'd be surprised to learn what are the actual numbers of people who have never done anything like that and then they pick up skiing later in their life. My second pick is going to be fishing.

Okay. Which I have fished before, barely. But I'm really thinking of the kind of picturesque River Runs through it fly fishing. Okay. All right, so you're out there i'm out i'm i'm wading in with those rubber boots i believe they're called waders i'm waiting with my waiter i think it probably is but it's like the river is right there and it's serene and it's quiet and like again this is something people do a lot of and i've never tried it and i think that's what

we're drafting uh yeah they are called waders really a hobby i'd like to try i take your order please got it but with a d yeah that makes more sense fly fishing is has have you been fly fishing i've not that seems like that's like advanced fishing yeah you have to know what you're doing yeah but it does seem just the idea of a peaceful day fishing but you gotta stand the whole time see if i was that's true if i was fishing if if i wanted to go fishing i think i would want to be standard standard lazy boy fishing yeah can i bring a lazy boy on a boat you can't fish from my lazy boy yeah hold hold the fishing rod and now do you want i just want a lazy boy on a boat would you rather lake fish or deep sea fish i think i would rather lake fish i'm not man enough for deep like deep sea fishing

would be awesome and cool but i would die i would probably end up seasickness bro i'm not worried about that i i'm i don't worry about the marlin i'm worried about the fish and the ocean and the boat you know those things okay all right jason you you get to pick another hobby all right uh you know what i'm gonna i'm gonna i'll wait one more round for this because i know you were just gonna take it well i know mike can't take it so um i'm going to go with home brewing slash distilling. It's on my list. That's a great, great pick. It's on my list.

Yeah, it's like, you know, I love whiskeys. I don't really know how they're made. I'm going to make a contention here that you have a higher likelihood of dying with that hobby than you would open sea fishing. Yeah, you think so? Yeah. Well, because one of them I will do one of them i wouldn't what are the dangers yeah chemicals really yeah i mean if you're in like a knot like poison like i'm afraid he won't ventilate properly you have to see he didn't know you have to ventilate jay we would have been

first batch two guys in the basement well can you do it outside can you can i brew in the back papa josh i'm not wrong about this right i mean that's like a big part of homebrewing in the basement. Well, can you do it outside? Can I brew in the backyard? Papa Josh, I'm not wrong about this, right? I mean, that's like a big part of homebrewing. Yeah. You got to vent the stuff or it'll just explode. Or it'll explode? And with homebrewing, you put it in a giant glass jar called a carboy

and that would be bad. Yeah, I would only want a busboy. Alright. That's a good one. If only I could hit some crickets. All right. That's all I get. Yeah.

I thought I got two. You're not going to take another pick? I was thinking about it. All right. Let's see. I can't believe it's on my list, I'm looking at it going. Yeah. Yeah. You're taking it. Yeah.

Bird watching. Oh, dude, I almost put it on my list. It's so, I got no problem with that. Guys, we're so old.

We are so, you can sit too. You don't have to stand. That's, that's what's great. I sit in the forest. It's beautiful. And then I just look, I look at birds. Oh, I am not, I sit in the forest. It's beautiful. And then I just look at birds.

Oh, I'm not against this. Now, if you look up on the chart, Mike, it is the opposite of blacksmithing. Those are on the opposite ends of the spectrum. But I'm all about birdwatching. That's good. You do not have to be old. I'm telling you. So I had a girlfriend in college who was a bird watcher she had like

this massive name was esther she was 63 years old and she gave a heck of a back rub um no but like she was a legitimate bird watcher had like this giant book of all the photographs and she knew every name like real nerd stuff and i participated a few times and it's like it's awesome it's so nice you get a nice set of binoculars man you get a nice set of binoculars and you start actually like it was just relaxing and fun i i thought about putting it on my list but i thought man it would not go over well yeah well i'm shocked you took bird watching but i'm i'm full endorsement i guess i like to just sit sitting is good yeah sitting out in a nature-esque peaceful area that's great and i like birds i like to be surrounded by birds singing okay so i may as well throw on some binocs and see what they're doing

up there have you seen they have these like five6,000 binoculars where it'll identify with AI the species inside the binocular? Even better. All right. Blacksmithing and birdwatching. That's Mike. So I get another one here. You get another B, hobby. I'm out.

Bowling. Ooh, I do like bowling. It's fun. I am going to go with astronomy. Interesting. Super. I mean, if you've listened to the show, I'm very into space. My daughter is also very into space.

And so when it's nice at night, frequently we'll just go and kind of see what we can see up there, try and identify some constellations. I got all the nerd apps. I am the guy who I know one thing about space. It's up. Well, it's up, so I know two things. But almost always the brightest star in the sky is is venus so when you get to like drop that bomb on people they're like they they think they know what it's like no that's venus well are you sure and then you pull out the

app oh yeah yeah it is people are wowed so that's you want to be that's just a kid that's a little nugget keep it in your pocket. Okay, all right. I'm telling you this, if I pull that app out and it's like that's the North Star or whatever, I'm going to be so mad at you, Michael. Here's your other thing. Planets don't twinkle. Okay, planets don't twinkle. Planets don't twinkle because they're too close.

There's no twinkle, twinkle little planet. Correct. Sounds like a hobby he He's already correct, but I don't, but I don't have a telescope or anything like that. So I would be, I'd be interested in spending all the monies and that's actually seeing things. I could have regifted you a telescope when I was 15 years old. Well,

I didn't know you. Esther had one. Yeah. My mom thought I wanted a telescope. I did not. All right. Sounds awesome. Skydiving and homeb and I did not. That one sounds awesome. Skydiving and homebrewing, Jason. That's what you got. So what's your third pick?

Oh, well, this one was the one that I knew Mike couldn't draft because he already does this. He can't try this hobby. Okay. Dungeons and Dragons, man. My man. My man. It sounds awesome. We know people that do it. Yeah, because it is. It's right up all of our nerd alleys uh you

know cool people yeah i'm sorry i'm sorry this is not for nerds yeah uh it's for cool people doing really cool things and i i it it sounds fun it seems fun everybody that i know that has done it has enjoyed it and i'm definitely cool enough to thrive at Dungeons & Dragons. That would be fun. I would add that to it. We've got to get a game going. I've not looked at Josh, but I can feel him. I can feel his energy radiating right now.

All right. It's up to me? It is. It is. Back to you. My third pick is going to be the combination of running a vineyard winery because i at first i thought about going i'll just be transparent i thought i was going to do like gardening then i was like but maybe like trees like an orchard which by the way they're

called orchardists which you've never heard that before orchardist yeah that's like the name that's the word we settled i literally said what do you call a person who runs an orchard and it's an orchardist but then i realized it's more like the wine thing is perfect because you're like cultivating so that's the gardening part okay and you're making the you know you've got all these grapes and it's and are you gonna do the stamping I might hire out for the stamping. I will do the tending to the vines. Okay. I might hire out for the tending to the vines.

But I'll do the tasting. Andy wants to live on a vineyard. It wouldn't be bad. This hobby is employment. Well, you see, Jason, I was making jokes. Business owner jokes. I was making jokes. I would actually like the combination of taking care of plants and then reaping the rewards.

Sure. Similar to why you chose the distillery beer making thing. It's just that you go out and you maintain plants, which I think is rewarding if you do it well. And then you make some wine. Okay. Okay. So I'm trying to, I got one more pick. You got some fish and some wine.

You need a dessert in here. Yeah. I mean, I've got a bunch of different, I'm going to say, oh, he's torn. I'm torn because I have stuff that I've actually done a little bit of, and I don't want to pick it. Like kayaking would be one that I could think about. I think that'd be fun. Or just like boating in general, but I've done a little bit of it. I even had hang gliding on here, which is kind of similar to like skydiving. Yeah. Wait, have you done hang gliding? No. Oh, you got a little taste of it though. Yeah. The other day he fell off my bike he was holding a piece of cardboard and

he ran real fast um but i think hmm wow i think i'm gonna go with no no i think i'm gonna go with whatever what's a person that has an aquarium aquariumist uh what would you call that that's a hobby right yeah people keep an aquarium yeah that's i'm What would you call that? That's a hobby, right? People keep an aquarium? Yeah. I'm going to do that. So you're taking fishing twice. Aquarium dauntless. A different kind of fishing. One I eat, I catch them and I put them in the aquarium. Nice.

Oh, that's next level. It's double dipping. Yeah. Is that legal? So is it fish tanking? They all die because fish tankologist. Is that a bad choice no that's a done deal man no i think that's a great choice i think i mean i think if you knew what you're doing wouldn't that be fun to do yeah if you had like a big one yes yeah a gigantic aquarium like in my aquarium room i have had like growing up we got a really nice fish tank an aquarist josh is that what we're seeing an

aquarist okay okay yeah we'll stick we'll stick with aquarium um but uh and and it was for me and obviously i know i'm like the anti-museum guy it was so unfulfilling to me like just just like like you talk to the fish they don't talk back yeah they don't do anything are you saying going to a big aquarium? I'm just saying, no. Isn't it fun to go to one, though? Yeah, if you go to, if there's, you know, piranhas and sharks or just crazy big fish or whatever. Oh, there'll be sharks in my tank.

Well, okay, well, I didn't know you were having a shark in your house. That's awesome. Little ones. Okay. I'm going to go with that because I don't know anything about that. Like baby shark? You know, honestly. what's your last pick Alright

Don't do stand up comedy This is This is one that I Don't know that I could It's very similar Andy to your to your skiing, snowboarding, where if you started it in your 20s, you're good. I know what it is.

I don't think I can really succeed, but I would definitely. Yeah, exactly. I got hurt. I would love to try it. I think it would be so much fun. And that would be surfing. Okay. That's such a better pick than aquarium.

That's such a better pick. That's a great pick. Thanks. Thanks. But surfing, I mean, if I grew up in California, I would have done surfing. Right. If you grew up in Arizona, you don't really have a lot of options for surfing you could still pick it up i just don't know if i can put it down get up on the board i think you could if i i've

got good strong legs i got i got you got it yeah you gotta get a good you gotta get it hindquarters you gotta get a good chest push though is that is that the yeah because you can do that you're on the belly yeah as you paddle and then you do basically like a really intense push-up. How do you do on standing up in general? Pretty poor. So that's my worry. What about standing up from your belly? Can you start surfing standing up?

Have they figured that one out yet? The first thing you should do if you really want to get into it is, on a daily basis, just get on your belly on the ground and then just try to get up from there. I do not want to do surfing anymore. And then put yourself on a board in the ocean. But that seems like it would be a

ton of fun. You're on the ocean. You're in the ocean. That's fun. It's way more fun than an aquarium. Alright, Mike, blacksmithing, birdwatching, astronomy, and? And if you thought Jason wasn't nerdy enough with his D&D pick, LARPing. Oh my

LARPing, baby. Are you serious? For those who do not know, we're not looking at Andy's eyes. Live action role play. Super nerdy. Oh my goodness. Yeah, but how-

Fireball. How much fun would it be? It would be so not fun. Oh, it would- You're saying just buying all the way in. Yeah, that's what you have to do. If you go out there being like, this is stupid and everyone here is a nerd, it's going to be the worst experience of your life.

That's how I would go out. Okay, have you- Yeah, me too. I couldn't do it i don't think if i saw them in a field i just i couldn't do it man i just i think that if you can allow yourself to buy in it would be just an incredible time this isn't have you ever done any ren fair stuff not i pretended to be from eight the. I have gone to the Renaissance Fair. Right, and when you look at everyone who's costume up, because it's like 95% of people. Yes, that proves my point. When I go to the Renaissance Festival, I see these people, I'm like, oh my goodness, this is too much.

You go like Medieval Times, you're not looking at them wrong. Medieval Times is great. Those are actors. They're LARPing. They're actors paid to them. Medieval Times is great. Those are actors. They're LARPing. They're actors paid to act. They're doing a performance. They're performing. Yeah, Denzel Washington is not a LARP.

When you're LARPing, you're make-believing, which is great for children. I highly encourage all children make-believing. The Medieval Times people are make-believing. They are. There's a script. I'm going to chase inside with this one. They're putting on a show. they're putting on a show if the LARPers charge tickets to watch them LARP they would be entertainers not LARPers right they are doing it for their own personal

entertainment so that's the difference that is it becomes not nerdy if people are paying to watch yes yes very much weird super not nerdy in that situation. Yeah. But I mean. Because there's like an entire profession that we as a society put at the top of our prestige. And all they do is they pretend to do stuff. It's on the tip top of my prestige. Absolutely.

Yeah. At the very bottom. LARPing. All right. Blacksmithing, birdwatching, astronomy, and LARPing. Jason with skydiving, homebrewing, D&D, and surfing. I went with skiing, fishing, growing a vineyard. Okay.

And aquarium. And aquarium. But it took you quite a while to select the aquarium. You know, I really couldn't find that last one. I should have just gone with surfing. Yeah. What did we learn today? Look, I'll tell you right off the bat.

I learned that an orchard maker is an orchardist. That's stupid. I learned that we should get into business half-off sales for going on the 50-50. Do you want to split a casket? I would love to split a casket. Thank you. Dibs on top. Oh, crap.

Yeah, you're next. I've learned that there is a very strong lacking of front doors on the second story of houses. Yeah, well, it's a new business. I want Jason to try to catch me up a ladder, though.

Come at me, bro. All right. I will just pull the bottom. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com.