Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 286: Galactic Turncoats & Best Objects with a Handle - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: June 3, 2024

On this hilarious episode, we weigh the merits of alien abductions, argue over food etiquette, answer life's pressing questions and wrap things up with a draft that honors the best objects with a handle. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

Today's show is brought to you by your friends over at Masterclass. On this podcast, we like a few things. We like having a good time and strange enough, we actually like learning things and despite us believing we're experts in most things, there's some areas that we aren't actually an expert and that's where Masterclass comes into the picture because these are actual experts. We're talking the top experts in their fields and they are there for you to learn. Learning is incredible, just getting better, moving forward in life and why not learn with some experts. With Masterclass you can learn from the best to become your best. Masterclass is the only streaming platform where you can learn and grow

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annual membership at masterclass.com slash Ballers. That's 15% off at MasterClass.com slash Ballers. MasterClass.com slash Ballers. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason. I don't know what to scat so I will say this. You appreciate that Mike? I did. Yeah. It tickled my funny bone. Welcome and one and all to Spitballers Podcast, Andy, Mike and Jason, episode 286. I appreciated that scat as well. Not because of its content, but because halfway through the music, right, we're starting the show, it's playing, and the camera's on you because you've got the scat.

So you can't see my reaction, but about halfway through I was distracted looking at the show and all that, and I hear that music and in the back of my head I went, oh no! Oh, you thought. And I stare at the monitor like, is it on me right now, am I about to scat,

did they get me? Oh, man. Woo. Oh, man. It's a great scat. Yeah, it's good. I think so good you should do it every week. You like all the scats that aren't you.

That is correct. Would you rather? That's a great question. And we have a draft on today's show, as we always do. And it should be very competitive. There is a clear 101. OK, well, I have the 101, and I'm worried that I'll miss it.

What? Good, good, good. Let it drop. He's a liar. Well, we're drafting the best objects with a handle. So Jason says there is a clear 101. Clearly. No, I mean, I have my 101 picked out.

I just will find out later if it's what you think is right. I hope it's not. At spitballerspot over on X, you can follow Jason at Jason FFL. You need to hope that it is. Cause it will validate that there actually is a 101. I will validate it. For things with a handle when I draft it.

So I want it to drop to me. I was in the middle of reading our Twitter handles but at spitballers pod at Jason FFL at FF Hitman and at Andy Holloway if you want to follow us there website spitballers pod calm we're on Instagram Facebook YouTube and where all the other places that felt like an ad read you hate obligated to say these, I don't think you should follow us, I don't want to read this anymore. When you have so many places, then none get enthusiasm. What's the one place people should go right now to YouTube.com?

I think they should watch the show so they can see you scat. Yes. And then tell your friends about it if you want to, which you should want to. All right, moving on. Would you rather? Sam, from the website, would you rather be abducted by humans or aliens? Wow! What?

Very! Come on! Very interesting. So abducted being... There's only one answer. Like kidnapped, right? Yes. I don't know that that's true.

No, there's one answer. I can see an argument for both sides. Lay it out. What? Which side are you thinking is... Mike is firmly on the alien side? Yes. He wants to experience that. No, no I do not. No I definitely do not but you know you know what the hit rate here like the probability abducted by humans. Terrible nefarious things are you are now

involved with 100%. If aliens abduct me, it could be probably 100%, but that's a pro- I'll lower it down. What about all the probing? Yeah, yeah, that's a worry for aliens. I don't want- Have you ever heard of humans? Humans are- Humans are terrible. Let me make the counter argument here, okay? Because you're right. This is bad and bad.

Right? 100% bad is human. It's 100 versus 99%, so at least I have 1%. Agree completely. You've got a 1% shot that maybe the aliens just want to interview you and figure out more about you. Right. Honestly.

Yeah, okay, go on. But with the humans, it's 100% bad. If you're getting abducted by a human, it's bad. But what if it's just for blackmail? Huh? Blackmail? You mean ransom? Yeah, ransom.

Yeah, for ransom. Like, blackmail people into like, or is that only ransom? That's not blackmail. I mean, it's just a ransom. Okay, so, you know, ransom. You're holding me hostage for a little bit and then someone's got to pay money. It's like, okay. One percent of all abductions of humans by humans

is to haul them away to those like teen camps or something like that. Where, you know, military camps, you ever seen that? They come and get the kids? What are you talking about? Oh, I have no idea. You can't abduct kids? With their parents' permission, you can.

That happens, that happens. For real? They do that. Yeah, like Bratz What is what you've been watching too much Sally Jesse Raphael over here? This is not it's not a real world where that happens Okay, but sometimes that's not an abduction. That's that's parents. I'm sick of you and I'm shipping you what about a fraternity? I've seen fraternity That's true. I remember in high school. I hear great things about it. No, no, no. You said 1%.

I think 1% of abductions are for fun. In high school. Now Andy's right. I was part of the thespian community. Yeah, scared straight. And when we were going to induct new thespians, we would break into their house with their parents' permission in the middle of the night with water guns and we'd capture them and bring them in the van and

We had a blast. It was awesome. We'd hold them for ransom. We'd make a killing. Have you checked in with these people? What do you mean? Yeah, they were like all we were all best friends. Yeah, Thespians were already weird. Yeah, I'm sure those people have no lingering issues. I was one of them once. I was the... Yeah, and I know you. See? Perfect. I turned out perfect. So here's what I will say. The concept of alien abduction in general... Also, an allowed abduction is not an abduction. Well, it's not allowed by the abductee. Yeah, no, it was. In that situation, it was. You

knew at some point you were getting abducted and you were looking forward to it. Here's all I'm saying. If the aliens have the ability to secretly swing by Earth and then pull people up into their spaceships and then leave, they also then would have had the ability just to kill you. So to abduct you seems like a foolish middle step for an alien.

No, not at all. Why would you need to take one person? Experimentation. Experimentation. You gotta take someone to see what their body can handle. That sounds really bad. I don't want that. Do not test my limits. The plus side on the aliens is that if you were abducted by aliens, okay, I'm in that group, I got abducted by an alien, I am one of the few people that know for a fact whether aliens exist. That's it. But no one's going to believe you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I gain something. You know what I mean? Like, there's nothing to be gained in most of this. What if alien abductions are 100% true, but everybody abducted just chooses to stay? Then they're doing something right? They never go back. They're just like, no, I'm staying.

They apply for citizenship? Yeah, on the ship. Right. For sure. And you get to be in a spaceship. That's a pretty cool chance. If you have made the decision just suck though the ships. Oh Like you get up there and you're like this thing should have like the ability to make food out of nothing and zip around and They're slow and they're rusty. I don't think they would've got here. No, but that's the you know, I'm saying what if I'm taking what if.

I'm taking the aliens. This is an easy answer. All right, aliens. Aliens. Humans are the worst. I mean, that's just the truth. What would we do if the roles were reversed? If we were the aliens abducting, basically we're abducting aliens.

We're abducting aliens off their planet. We probably, we wouldn't be the worst, right? We would like check them out. Oh yeah, no, we would be totally cool. You meant humans? Yeah. We would super chill. Treat them with such respect. And make sure that we have permission from them for anything we want to try. I'm going to make a vow right now, I don't know, you guys don't have to join me on it, it'll be just me. If I ever am in a ship and I abduct another alien from another planet. Mm-hmm It's gonna be a good time for that alien. I'm gonna treats

a fun day, I cannot and then send them back. I cannot make that promise. I Cannot make that you don't you might be Lord there is a world If there is a world in the future where I'm on a ship and I have to abduct another alien Yeah, I'm going to assume we are at war. Yeah. Look, I he ain't having a good time humans The world me everything, you know humans are the worst but I'm still firmly on team humanity, right? Right? Yeah for sure I'm not you'll do what needs to be done on a galactic turncoat Right Mike. Thank you Mike. No, you're not

Jack from art of team worse. you, Mike. No, you're not. Jack from- You're part of Team Worst. Let's go, baby. Jack from Patreon, would you rather always have to tell people you're sour any time you introduce yourself? Oh, what? Or always immediately ask anyone who gives you a gift

if you could get the gift receipt, because you would prefer to just have the cash. See, the gift receipt wouldn't be a problem if you were exchanging a size or a color. Asking for a gift receipt is not bad. Asking for a gift receipt because I'd rather have the cash is where the problem comes. It's like, I just want your money. But at the same time time just give me cash No, that's the worst. I mean, that's terrible. I think what asking for the cash salary is Yeah, I mean the point of the gift isn't the like them the the fundamental point isn't the Monetary equivalency right now why we give gifts right is to Is to, because then, I mean, really, if that was the case,

there should just be a family account that has money. And it just shifts between everybody's name all year long, because you're giving money to them, and they give money to you, and you give money to them, and then you just. It kind of already is that, except you, every once in a while, you pull a whammy, and you have wasted your money on a gift that no one wants. I just

think... Andrew Hallway, $65,000. Do you get offended if somebody wanted to return your gift? I don't think so. No. I don't give to farts about gifts and so receiving or really giving. I'm not a great gift giver tell me about sorry from the abduction so like if you didn't give it a gift and not return if you didn't like the gift I got you I don't think I care it for the most part no but there are that's an indictment on you oh I because that means you didn't put the kind of, it's all proportionate.

Like you didn't care enough to get a gift that you would care that they didn't like. No, I don't know about that. Because if I do care to try and put an effort to get a gift they want, if they don't like it, then really it's all about me. It's about whether I did a good enough job. Yeah, and clearly you didn't.

Right, and I'm okay with that. I tried my best. If you don't like it, then whoops. It can feel bad though. Like if you put the effort in, because it's I thought I knew you. Yeah. I thought I knew something about you

and I found this thing that I thought it was perfect. You're gonna love this. And you're like, no, actually I'd rather have the money. Well now, now there's this rift of what I thought I knew about my friend and it's not actually true. And that's just, that's a void. Sometimes the gift is actually the response to the gift. Right. Oh yeah. You know what I'm saying? That's what you're saying.

So salary? I got, going back to the gifts real quick, there was a gift this last Christmas to my wife that I thought was the best gift I had ever, like not ever, but like that I had thought of. It was personal, it was meaningful, it was like a Dolly Parton themed special limited edition book that's big and fancy and rare and all these things and it was really neat. My wife loves Dolly Parton and so I, you know, that's the last gift to open Christmas morning. That's the big one. That's the big one. Okay.

And so... That's a big lead up. It's a big lead up and. There's a big lead-up. And then we open it. And it is, in fact, the book that is right by our bathtub. Oh, no. Yeah, but she's got it. And it's been in place. I mean, it's right on the counter for years. How did she read? I'm really curious.

For years. Did she? Now, knowing your wife, I imagine. I walk by her every day. I imagine. You bought her a gift she already had? That she'd like that. It was so heartfelt that he bought it twice. I want to buy it every day. I imagine. You bought her a gift she already had? That was so heartfelt that he bought it twice.

Now, did she? I'm trying to guess the response. That's a bummer. I feel like your wife in that situation would immediately call you out. She actually did. Did she call you out or did she think that you grabbed the book from the tub and wrapped it up,

and it was a whole bit? No, that's a good move. I think technically this was like a limited edition version of the thing she had. She was gracious and like, oh, no, it's different. I was like, oh, god. Oh, so she tried to make it OK. That's brutal.

Yeah. I mean, I'm telling you, as soon as she said that. So that one she should have returned for the cash. As soon as she said that, I was like, oh, yeah. So then, like, that's, dude, I mean, I'm telling you. That's rough. I walk by it every single day. This is not a hidden thing.

This is like proudly displayed, apparently. I did the exact same thing. I bought my daughter a LEGO set the other day. And I was so excited to give her. Totally had given it to her before. She'd already built it. There's so many Lego sets. OK, so look.

What was the question? No, we haven't even explored the you have to. It's offensive to tell your salary to people every time you introduce yourself. It's offensive to request a gift receipt to just get the cash and say you only want the cash. Question, what is the least offensive salary to have to share?

It's gotta be right in the middle. National average. That's what I mean. It's gotta be right in the middle. Yeah, national average. No, no, no, no, but without looking it up, what do you think is a salary that if, you know, that you wouldn't think, oh no, like you're not doing well,

and you wouldn't think, oh you're snooty, you're bragging. 70, yeah, 65. oh, you're snooty. You're bragging. 70. Yeah. 65. Yeah, 65. I think that's where I went. 65 is like, OK. Yeah. You're doing OK.

Now I'm curious what the average is. How old can you? The average national salary? Yeah. Right now, 59,384. OK. That's the way to say 59,384. That is correct.

I see the average salary as of March 28th as 63,795. Okay, according to the Social Security Administration. Is that the way to loophole this? Is that you say your salary, like, hey, Jason Moore, 73,285. Just sounds like you're giving a passcode. Exactly right.

They don't know what I'm saying. I'm still sharing my salary. I'm just saying the digits. But you got to say dollars. OK. Jason Moore, 73, 854 dollars. I think that's fine. No, they'd move on.

Yeah, they'd move right on. Oh, OK. OK. Now, I don't. Yeah. I introduce myself. Do you introduce yourself more than you get gifts on a yearly basis? You probably.

That could be another factor. Depends on your age. Would you avoid introducing yourself? And avoid seeing new people to avoid this? Either way, you're going to come across. $754,229. And avoid seeing new people to avoid this. Either way, you're going to come across. $7,543,29. But alternatively, if you had to do the ask for a gift to receive for cash every time, I would be very proactive.

If I've got a gift situation coming up, I would ask for cash. Because if someone straight up says, I don't think you could do that. Oh, if I had to do it after the fact, and say, I need the gift for a receipt. That's the thing, if I had to do it after the fact, it's say I need the gift. You got to do it. That's the thing.

You'd have to do it up front. I only get gifts on birthday and Christmas, right? I think the trick here that is legal would be have something you're raising money for. So when you do the ask, you can say, I just need to contribute it to my prosthetic leg fund. But like what's funny about that is Christmas morning, you know, I don't know what you guys, let's say you got four or five gifts.

They would all just be cash. Would you be like breaking up? Like would I be receiving separate envelopes of like here's $20. That's why it's not about the money. All right, I'm going to do the gift one. I'll do the gift one as well, I'm going to do the gift one. I'll do the gift one as well. I'm not telling people my salary.

And I just want the cash anyway, so. Tyler. Win versus loss. From the website, would you rather have to say every punctuation mark with every sentence you say, comma, or have to talk twice as slow as you currently do, exclamation point. So you always sound like you're doing voice to text?

Why did that end in an exclamation point? It was a question mark. Yeah, it was a question mark. You asked a question, it's written as a question mark in the dark. It was not a question. No, it was very exclamatory. Say every punctuation mark, question mark, or have to talk twice as slow as you currently do question mark I would be afraid okay so we need a little bit of clarity on the

grammar side of things okay I ain't great at the punctuation okay wait does that mean that ain't what you would need to say the apostrophe like it's punctuation yeah I ain't apostrophe t. Was that the intent, Alan? But you would have to spell out the word. We'll say commas, quotes, and then anything at the end of the sentence, period, exclamation mark. Commas of your sentence? Oh man. Yep. But that's, more specifically to the point I was saying. Comma. Commas. Yeah. I don't know where they go, man. Oh man. Also you outlay your grammar problems in your everyday speech. Yeah, come on I do There's that right was that right? No one knows no

Nobody knows only Grammarly knows but I am throwing commas out all the time comma It's it if I error on the side of an overabundance of I know I do too I the the look at look how good my grammar is but he clearly knows If you write conversationally, you will throw in too many commas. That's what ends up happening is if you think about what you're writing in your head There will be too many commas in there. I don't remember the last time that like Grammarly on my computer Asked to add a comma, but I remember plenty of times. I was like dude. Oh, that's enough. Yeah, stop it What if Grammarly limited the comment the comments you could use like it's a new place ables the keyboard

It's like 20 comments per day max You have to buy new commas if you had to pay 20 bucks per comma you would get changed real quick comma I would not do any comment period Period I don't think I could navigate this one. Well, I could do that a whole lot easier than speak Yeah, you can't as slow. I talk I'd go insane I Can't yeah, that's it. Yeah, we speak for a living comma. Maybe we do Exclamation point comma exclamation point question mark

Semicolon Josh from patreon would you rather would you rather swim in open water with a wild orca? Oh, that would be terrifying Yeah, no way or be stuck in a room Infested with German cockroaches that have been crawling around and on you. What's what's uh are those flyers? What's the German cockroach? Yeah I know that's gotta be. Are those the flyers? Is that just a regular cockroach? I think that looks like a regular cockroach. Why do we call them German? I don't know. It seems a little rude. What's going on here? It's not rude it's heritage. Well they're just from I imagine they're from Germany. I'm just saying I'd like a different bug

associated with me. I'd like a good old fashioned American cockroach. Are they American butterflies and German cockroaches? There are American cockroaches, I know I've heard that before. So. Oh, the American ones are larger. Oh, these aren't that big. The German ones are tiny.

Oh. That makes no sense. Germans are humongous. Are they? I think so That's how I that's how I view like you view Germans as extra large. Absolutely That is not that is not what I view Germans as maybe it's just like I have you all Europeans is smaller I feel like the Americans Are and maybe some Russians I think I'm like I'm with Jason that I mean usually they're they're bigger they're hearty they're harder yeah they're taller they're stronger but there's a lot worse of women is it oh man I don't know what these I think you get hearty when

you eat that much sauerkraut I think it just it gets in the veins because you get gassy dude sauerkraut give you gas I assume so I like sauerkraut I have it yeah it's good but it smells like farts I have just it does smell oh yeah it smells like fart you open that can and it and it's a can of farts. Smells like German cockroaches, which are not that large. Look, that's gross. My sister's in the middle of having a major cockroach problem at their apartment place. Oh, no.

That's not great. And they can't get rid of them. And they'll just be on the ceiling. Right. Gross. But you know what? She's telling you about it. If your sister had an orca problem in her apartment,

you would not hear about it. Right. Because you would not hear from your sister ever again. Sister disappeared in ocean. You'd rather be caught in the water with an orca or a shark. Oh, that's definitely an orca. I feel like one orca bite, you're done. Orcas are mean, man. They're big, right? You're dying either way, brother. No, no. I think it depends on a shark. Definitely an orca. I feel like one orca bite, you're done. Orcas are mean, man.

They're big, right? You're dying either way, brother. No, no, I think it depends on the shark. If it's a great white, you're probably going. Yeah, then I don't. You're probably going down. I mean, sure, if I could pick my shark, I'll pick a tiny little shark.

But I'm saying, like, an orca is scared of nothing. Like, an orca will, I just saw a clip of orcas taking out. They're like, average six six tons taking out great whites Orcas are just like yeah, whatever man and Raymond boats. Yeah, yeah, they can yachts they they Coordinate are they the king of the ocean? Yes for sure Don't get eaten by great white sharks. I don't think anything hunts an orca other than humans We hunt or you know We hunt everything, man. For what?

We hunt for sea world orcas. We abduct orcas, and we're really kind to them. And we make them really sad. Hold them for ransom. People don't hunt orcas, do they? Yep, they did. Yeah, of course they did. Well, we used to.

But for food and population control. This is for you. This is for your own good. So they used to be hunted inside. What for blubber? Until the 1980s they were hunted now they're just barely taken for small amounts. No animals hunt orcas except for humans so yeah I mean they're the king of the ocean. My point in saying I'd rather be with an orca than a shark is that I see myself dying in both situations.

So which one is just finishing the job quickest, best? I don't know, it's probably the shark. Really? I feel like an orca could just decide to mess around with you and just kill you for sport. Where if a shark is gonna, if a shark's's coming after you it's cuz it's trying to figure out does it want to eat you do you want to be killed for sport or killed for food like to be food for sure food give me but one of them involves you being

eaten yeah the other one just involves you the other one you know my water logged body is floating around for eternity you'd rather be eating yeah for sure I need to return back to the Earth, which I can't. Poop me out. Wait, you return to the Earth either way, gentlemen. That's going to take for you. One is through the digestive tract of a shark. Yeah, speed that process up.

But if you're floating around. So you'd rather be digested. Well, you're going to be digested, because it's going to take a much longer time. I'd rather be digested by multiple sharks later. I don't think it'll be sharks. It's going to be nasty bottom feeder fish. Wait, when your body's floating around?

Yeah. Eventually you'll sink. There'll be some birds dropping me all over the place. Do you sink eventually? Yeah. It's not like you absorb the water. No, eventually you do, right? Really?

I think so. I don't know. If they poke a hole in you. That's why they I don't know. If they poke a hole in you, that's why they have to find the- If they poke a hole, yeah, that's how it works. That's how it works. And you fill up with water, as our empty bodies do. How do you figure out if you end up just,

do you float forever or no? You'll sink. Yeah, eventually. No, wait, don't people wash up on shore? Yeah, I don't know how. So do seashells. Yeah. No, and those don't float oh

My gosh, that's a good point. That's not that good of a point That's a pretty good boy. It's a medium point the seashells are tiny Humid bodies are big But they're not all the same you don't got boat You don't got boats in the middle of the water that were some whales washing up on shore sometimes well they come and they die made a bad choice weren't dying in the middle of the ocean then roll it on the bottom oh really good no okay why is that tight the Titanic didn't roll up on shore the other day that's a good point so why would we that's a good point you know what that's a medium point no you're the Titanic thing I'm

taking the cockroaches. For sure. I want to live. You'll survive. It'll feel real gross. We're taking a break. Jason, do you have something to add? When the question was...

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That was Jason kind of joke right there. It was. I'm very proud of you. My question was. That's a great question. Good work. Yeah, I figured Andy was going to jump all over my queue, but he did not. I followed you. Speaking of that, I had a great question. No, it's gone. You don't get it.

You got to ban it. All right, Jeb. What will we do? Jeb from X writes in, does what's in your food matter? Or is it only about the taste? Like, if rats were delicious, would you eat them? Of course you would. Of course you would.

I am adamant about this. Pigs are disgusting. Pigs as animals are- Rats are a little nastier. Sure, they're a little nastier because they're not delicious. And they carry plague and things like that. Yeah, that's the catch for me. It's like if flies, if you caught them out of the air...

Yeah, do bugs. ...would you just pop them in? Do bugs. Yeah. I mean, but those don't taste good. You know how chicken carries diseases like crazy, but where it's like, oh, tastes like chicken. If I was eating the outer dirty part of the pig What part of the pig do you eat all the inside?

But they wash them up nice. Well, do you think that you're just eating a rat raw? Oh, I guess you should eat a rat then if a rat was delicious We have a rat Jason's point on the pigs is a medium to great point Thank you. Thank you because they dig around in the mud. They're healthy. They eat slop, right? They they're not the clean type of I've seen the slop in the cartoons though And to be fair sometimes you're like that looks very good the cartoon slop does that was that's a full corn on the cob in There that's a good restaurant idea slop. It's just called slop You know good comes in a buck good restaurants only have to have four letters

Slop, yeah, and it's a bucket and it's all random Yeah, I'm convinced that rats would be viewed differently if they tasted great. Are you sure they don't? I'm sure they don't yes. I think this is fair. I think that someone is eating rats Yeah, and then it has a. And it hasn't caught on. It hasn't caught on. No, it's caught on in some places. Not here. No, not here, but I mean, we do eat a bunch of weird

animals that people like the taste of, and then you end up, you know. I don't think people are afraid to eat anything if it's delicious. I really, really don't. I think you're probably right. But you hit a certain age where the idea of eating, it doesn't matter how good something smells to me.

You think it's because the rats are filthy. Well, I'm just saying in general of how you hear the science community talking about, we should probably be eating bugs. This is a fully replenishable. I don't hear that. I hear it. Look it up.

Crickets are good protein. Yeah, look it up. You can get all the nutrients you need, high protein, far more sustainable. They're not good enough. Far more sustainable than having these huge ranches where we're raising the animals and everything. But the idea for

us as Americans, the idea of eating bugs is disgusting. Nope. Only because they don't taste good. If it tasted like chocolate, I'd eat a bunch of bugs. 100% you would. Yeah. Get this man a chocolate covered grasshopper. No, not a chocolate covered. That's different.

You make every piece of that bite taste delicious. Andy doesn't want chocolate covered raisins. No. Chocolate doesn't just cure it. Yes he has. No, you really don't like it. Andy doesn't want chocolate covered raisins. No. Chocolate doesn't just cure it. No, you really don't like it. No, I hate chocolate covered raisins. Oh. I think they're pretty good.

But I like raisins. I like chocolate covered chocolate. You do. Yeah. Interesting. I think it's at a certain point it becomes about the idea and the culture that you're raising. Al won't eat anything that swims in the ocean

because he used a baby. Because they're water bugs. Yeah it is because Al's a baby. But he thinks they're gross and so he can't get over the mental hurdle. Now we do tell him that they're delicious and he won't do it anyways. But if you tried it, is that the trick Mike to try some rat? It's like a rat popsicle? It is difficult though. If you know what it is, and in your head, your brain is telling you, you should not eat this. This is a bad idea as a human being.

That's very difficult to get over. But don't you only think it's a bad idea because it's been a bad idea forever? Yes, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, if you started. Culturally, you believe it's gross. There's other cultures that they eat bugs. It's part a bad idea forever. Yes, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, if you started, yeah. Culturally, you believe it's gross. There's other cultures that they eat bugs as part of the diet. If they tasted good, if rats tasted good,

then you would have grown up eating rats because it would have happened over time. I'm not saying that there's not some people that still wouldn't, the way the owl is a total baby and won't eat seafood. Now, be nice. No, no, no. OK.

You aren't a baby owl. You are a man. But you're like a baby with your seafood take. Is that fair? He's in his 40s. He doesn't eat seafood. Yeah. Super fair.

But I also know more people than him. I know a lot of people that, like, if it's in the ocean, no, thank you. It's not going to be in me. Yeah, that's fair. But also, there includes fish out. Just regular fish. Yeah. Yeah, that doesn't gross me out as much as like shrimp and

lobster. But I won't eat any of it. Now, is it on principle at this point? No, no, it is. It's genuinely mentally. Like, is it something is it cool? Because it's a fun fact we can bring up about you on the show? No, he says at restaurants he's allergic. He just says, that just ends the conversation quickly. Yeah, it's the professional way to do it,

but I am with, I was there for a very long time. I had a very strict policy. I don't eat anything out of the water except for canned tuna. That was the only thing I would eat. Canned tuna. Eventually, eventually I got over it. But do you feel like more of a grown up?

Yeah, maybe. I do feel more superior to owl because of it. Yeah, right. So a grown up. But the fact remains that crustaceans are gigantic oversized bugs that live in the water. And fish smell like fish. And that is universally looked at as, that stinks.

Yes, that's true. A fishy smell is not good. It's bad. Shrimp? You're like, this fish is great because it doesn't smell or taste like a fish. Shrimp are disgusting bottom-feeding bugs. And while there are some people that don't eat them,

shrimp is widely served, is eaten all the time, is a delicacy, and fancy restaurants will have the jumbo prawns cocktail. And it's like, yep, you want to know why? Because it's delicious. So that's the point. This proves my point. If it's delicious, we'll eat it. I think it's only delicious because you're used to eating it and you were told it was delicious. I know what taste could I add? Horse. It was awful. Well, what a way to end that conversation. Jason eats horse. Zach from Patreon, you get paired with 100 random humans. If you're better than all of them at something,

you get $1 million, what are you choosing? Ooh. 100 random humans. So this is like, what are you best at? Which is troubling to try to say. What can you do? It's not necessarily like your best. You might be better at a different thing, but lots of people are good at that thing. It's like what is unique?

My default answer was like in a random sample of 100, am I better than all of them at Pickleball? Right. I don't know if that, I think the odds are I probably- The odds are you are. Really? Oh, for sure. I was going to say like maybe one or two would be a problem. No, no, no. In a random- So then that's my answer. Yes. I think that that's a great answer for you

Sweet. I feel like if there's a Post meal Snorefest I Could like falling asleep the fast falling asleep the fastest with snoring after eating. I think I could win that I think you if you toss in most uncomfortable place to fall asleep, you would be able to. I would just make it a vehicle. Because a vehicle puts me to sleep.

There's some people that can go lights out, though. You might get one in the 100. I was going to say you would probably be able to outspend all 100 people. Oh, there we go. Yes, shopping. Shopping? DoorDash?

Shopping. Yeah, we'll go with that. Taking the most expensive item, exclaiming it's the best, even though you know it's not. Yeah, I'll be the 100 people with that. What do you got, Mike? Super Smash Brothers 64. Wow.

I promise. I thought you were going to say you'd be the best at not making small talk among all 100 people. Maybe a battle of silence? Silence? Who's the most silent for the longest? The last person to talk? I could do very well at that.

And I have the same fear of, I'm a better guitar player than most people. But in a sample of 100, there's definitely a chance that somebody's better than people. But in a sample of 100. You're taking a risk? There's definitely a chance that somebody's better than me. You're probably better than 100. Probably. But I think that there could even be a handful of people.

I will say that there are, right now today, pickleball's still new, still growing. There's a lot more musicians than there are avid pickleball players who are really, really good. So that's where I see your worry because some people are just ... they love... And they're really good. Yeah. How good are you now versus your peak?

My chops... Do you feel like they don't go away? Is it like a bike? Yeah, you can get it back. Like you have to, like exercising. Like you can get your speed and your chops back up. My understanding of music is like, I'm so much better than most people, but there's gonna be guys who've been playing the guitar

for six years who've just, they've hunkered down and they're just gonna be an actual, technically a better player than me. guys who have been playing the guitar for six years who just they've hunkered down. Yeah. And they're just going to be an actual technically a better player than me. Krista from the website with a great question for us before we get into our draft here. When eating out and I'm sorry, when eating out and they forgot to bring someone's food, how long is long enough to wait before you just start eating your own food. This is such a funny question, because it's not just they forget to bring someone else's food, it's they brought yours out and the other person's food has not come out yet. And I know what the Manners Handbook says.

I had a situation with Papa Josh in this exact area over there in Doosers Alley who we went to Macaios a Mexican restaurant delicious and there was a pretty big group of us I would say about ten and we're sitting out under the in the balcony or sorry on the deck or whatever and They we all ordered ten 10 people, kids included. Maybe that's a different nuance to the question. But they were taking so long, just the longest all of us have ever waited. And then they delivered nine of 10 meals.

And I was the 10th. Yo, it was you. And it was a burger. And then they said, we'll be right back with your burger. It never did come. Wow. Until after we had closed the check,

and they brought me a burger in a to-go container. So do you remember if you waited, Papa Josh? A little bit, but then we just gave up. I feel like if nine 10ths. Kids are a good excuse to get eaten quick. Yeah, if nine 10ths show up, you're not even sure that someone's didn't you're just you see the whole table filling up. You're saying if it's enough people you can just... Yeah you're gonna plow in. I know Mike's opinion of this is not even... This doesn't exist.

Correct. When a plate goes down in front of Mike he starts eating. Yeah. He doesn't ask permission. Do you never wait? No. Not even with Mc's Company. Yeah. He doesn't ask permission. You never wait? No. I've never sit and wait. Not even with Mick's company? No. No. I've never. Really? We've eaten with him. My food has been brought in now. Well, see, yeah, we've eaten with him, but regardless of when he starts, he's going to finish first, so I don't know if he's been waiting or not.

That's fair. I sit right next to him at our normal lunch table. When my fresh food has been handed to me at a restaurant... You want it fresh. I'm going to eat it. Nah, that's impolite. Why? To a point. Once the other person gives you permission,

then you're good. Why? Because you are sitting down to have a meal together. No, I get it, man, I get it. You're having a meal together. Yeah. Why does we- It changes in proportion to quantity of the party.

So if it's one-on-one, it's the most impolite to eat immediately. I 100% agree with that. If it's three, it's a little bit less. Four, five, six, as it goes up, it becomes less impolite. Yeah, because it's less personal. Yes, because if I'm with you, just one-on-one, and I got my meal, then I am literally indulging the meal in front of you

while you are hungry. Yeah, that's a crazy case, though, to message just two people. OK, if you at least agree that two would make it somewhat awkward. Yeah, but it would be really weird to the restaurant to bring one plate of food out. OK, but unless you went to a, I mean, but sharing the meal, we're sitting down,

we're having conversation. That whole part has not changed. What about beverages? I order a water, you order an adult drink. 100% exempt. Why? Because of the rules. Because of the rules, Mike.

Those are the rules of society. We live in a society. I fully, fully 100%, Mike. I completely concede your point that it is arbitrary. I will let you eat. That it's arbitrary. Quickly, I'll say just go ahead. And it is made up, and it is also dumb

because you're getting fresh food, and you are there to eat, so when your food is prepared and ready, you should eat it. I completely understand that it's dumb, but it is still the world we live in and the... I just wanna know why. I mean, I think I explained it. I think the why wasn't good enough for you.

The why is that you are two hungry people and one person has their food to fix their hunger and the other doesn't. So the politeness is just like, oh, I'll wait to eat so we can eat together. That's all. It's just let's eat together. We want, we need to be chewing food at the same time? That's why you go to dinner. Why not sit at a different table? You go to dinner for the conversation. But that's the weird part, especially if you are one-on-one. You sit down and

one can talk and one is chomping. And now I'm like, oh, I'll do the talking. And you'll watch me eat. Yeah. So there's a little bit of an awkwardness with watching somebody eat. Then on the other side, do you feel like there is anything that appears rude or impolite of, your hot food has come out. It's sitting there. Sits there for five minutes, getting cold, getting cold.

And I'm like, no, man. When my fresh food gets here, I'm going to eat it immediately. It's not the other person's. No, no, no, that's gets here, I'm gonna eat it immediately. It's not the other person's No, no, no, that's not weird. But there are two things But I'm saying I have now as the person without food I am putting myself above you saying you have to wait and Your your food is not gonna be that person doesn't say that you have to wait You wait of your own accord the other person says good. Just eat just get started

Yeah, and I'm saying cut the just get started. Yeah, absolutely. And I'm saying, cut the middle man out. This is nonsense. Just eat your food. Here's how you cut. Mike is just arguing against being polite in general. Here's how you cut the middle man out. And here, and it works 100% of the time, okay?

If you get your food first, you simply say, oh, you want me to wait? Because they will 99% of the time say, no, no, no, just eat. And then it's done deal. And the 1% of the time that they say, yes, you just eat brother, because that is a jerk. And they do not deserve your manners. Okay, so all you gotta do when you get your food first,

just say, do you want me to wait? And then grab that fork, because you know what's coming. So yeah, if you ask that question, you do back them into a corner. Now, you can try to share a couple fries and get the party started. Oh, yeah. That's another route. It honestly matters if it's coming soon or not.

I love that it comes down to, well, it's just this dumb formal thing that we do that everyone should agree. That's all of life, Mike. That's all of life. It's holding the door for someone. That's why you shake your hand. No, holding the door is... that's... that's very nice. But why? Why would I need to hold the door for someone behind me? I open the door for

myself, I'm walking, and they can open the door for them. Yeah, they certainly can, but it's a nice gesture to... It's a nice gesture! And the truth! No! No, because I'm still over here saying it's not a nice gesture. You're saying you don't understand that it's nice. Yes. Yes, I get it. Okay. We're not going to solve this today. To say that I am sparing you the physical labor. That's a nice gesture. We have to do a draft down the line of societal, what do you call them? Polite things, I don't know. No, like implied rules or norms, societal norms or implied rules that should be thrown away. Yeah. Cause there's a million of them. 101. I have to take my hat off for because I'm inside. Yeah, it is. What is that all about? Mike has got a little- What is that all about?

Mike's already got a little notebook that he's been writing these in for 15 years. I feel like when we do this draft, it's going to take me forever to come up with a list of 12 things. And Mike will be like, here's 10 extras I didn't use. And then we will have solved so many problems. All right. Mike wants a really efficient universe. Yes!

I know. Don't speak. Don't even. Mike, why do you want to go to dinner with somebody? You don't want to talk. Yeah, well, I'll listen to your stories. He wants to eat alone at a restaurant. All right, we're moving on. Ready to pop the question? The jewelers at bluenile.com have got sparkle down to a science

with beautiful lab-grown diamonds worthy of your most brilliant moments. Their lab-grown diamonds are independently graded and guaranteed identical to natural diamonds. And they're ready to ship to your door. Go to BlueNile.com and use promo code WELCOME to get $50 off your purchase of $500 or more. That's code WELCOME at BlueNile.com for $50 off. BlueNile.com. The Spitballers Draft. All right. I was just laughing to myself as we hopped into the draft that Mike would maybe enjoy going and having dinner with a storyteller on the other side. Like he doesn't produce he eats.

Yeah, you ever been to dinner theater? That's what that is. Oh, actually, you're right. That is what that is. You ever been to dinner in a movie? You like that? Oh, it's great. Yeah.

You ever watch TV while you eat dinner? Yeah. I want to eat and I want entertainment. Yeah, you don't have to come up for air then. Yeah, it's great. All right, we're drafting the best objects with a handle. If it doesn't have a handle, get it out of this draft. Now I have the first pick. I am curious. You're so lucky. I want to know how specific we're supposed to be. Oh, we're bringing this

up now? What do you mean? Yeah, I'm bringing it up now because I want to know if I'm, do I choose the cat? Like I have my number one pick. Okay. And I could choose the category of object. Everything on- Or I guess it's an object, so I should choose the category. Sure.

Like, let me give you an example. Why don't you make the pick in the evil? No, no, no, let me just give you an example. Okay, all right. Let's say it was a car. We all know a car has a handle. Yeah, okay. We're not going around the table just saying, I'm picking a Ferrari and you're picking a- No, that would be a car door. It's a car. We all know a car has a handle. Yeah, OK. We're not going around the table just saying,

I'm picking a Ferrari, and you're picking a car. No, that would be a car door. A car is the pick. Yeah. Jason is playing some devious line here. So what's your pick? A sword. A sword is my pick.

And if you make me be specific, I was going to go Excalibur. No, no, sword is proper. But sword. OK, that's all the point I was trying to make. A sword, a sword without a handle would be very difficult to wield. And dangerous, yeah. Yeah, I mean, personally, I feel like you can get

the Excalibur if you want it, but no one else will draft a sword. It's one of the mini swords that I have. Yeah, yeah, you have it. I have samurai swords, and I have Excalibur, and I've got the Braveheart sword, and I've got them all. What's the one with the big curve? That's like a pirate sword. Yeah, I'm thinking more like a Latin.

It's a scimitar. Yeah, there we go. That wasn't what I was thinking of. A scimitar? That sounds like one of those creatures. Yeah, that's the half horse, half man. Cutlass is also curved like a pirate's sword. That's the one I was thinking of.

That's not what I'm looking for. I'm gonna find this. Okay, so I'm going with the curved like a pirate. Ah, that's the one I was thinking of. That's not what I'm looking for. I'm going to find this. OK, so I'm going with the sword as a object. Ooh, you have a sword draft. Oh my gosh. All right, Mike. Now, Jason, was that your 101? Maybe, maybe not.

I'll tell you what I draft. All right. Oh, good. All right, Mike, you're up. So I've now think of objects with handles when you make your pick. I'm also, I want some real practicality. And I'm going to take a, excuse me,

I'm going to take a shopping bag. Interesting. Because they'll look, you ever been to the grocery store and they give you the dumb brown bags that don't have any handles? And you're like, what's the maximum amount I can carry of these two? You know, they took the biggest.

Yeah, one in one arm, one in the other. Yeah, or I can't challenge myself to bring in every single bag of groceries in my trunk. One of the greatest technological advances was they found a way to put handles on the paper bags. Yeah, they didn't master it. They did not master it. No, those things rip the heck off.

We're still beta testing. You know how many of those you can carry? Zero. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. Those hands just rip off. Paper, plastic. So you went shopping bag. All right, Jason, do you have your 101 sitting there for you?

Or was it sword? It was, well, my 101 was more specific. I was going to draft a Lamborghini, but a car. Because a car was exactly the example I brought up oh my god yes it was the exact example you brought up okay so are you taking a car yeah for sure for sure I mean if you're talking about the best things I don't know how now we would live without a car what's funny is you click it open what you never seen a car with shaved handles his car has no handle, it auto opens for him.

My car does not have handles, but that's why I was drafting a Lamborghini. I'm drafting a Lamborghini. That's why I'm picking a Lamborghini. So, cars, no, it's a good pick, it's on the list. What are you, 14? Well, honestly, so... My teenager loves Lambos. My first...

Really into them. My first thing I put down was a Bugatti Just because it's like see at least we didn't people might not know if that they have handles so I went with lame Regine You get a Corvette next no come on me Prius you drafted watch you drafted Prius just now no I didn't yeah you did all right you get a second pick all right There's The Bugatti. All right, I'm gonna go with one of my favorite things. Use it every day.

Wish I used it less. Wish you used it less? A refrigerator! Oh, my gosh. Yeah, all right. Yeah my gosh. Yeah baby. Okay I can see that. Yep the board also known as my board machine. I can see that. Your board machine. My board machine is when I'm just like I don't have anything to do let's see if there's entertainment in here. I think a fridge is a great like I don't have anything to do let's see if there's entertainment in here I Think a fridge is a great pick. I didn't have it on my list, but it should have been great. Yes. It's not on my list either

and Okay, so I have shopping bag so another thing it's great because it has a handle oh Yeah, it is. Just incredible. Oh baby. Look, it's kind of the combo, but you'll get it. Pots and pans. Okay, yeah. Oh crap.

That was the end of his list. He had pots and he had pans. I mean, no one's going to take just pans. It's pots and pans. Yeah I had a more specific singular object but I feel like it's been taken with pots and pans. Oh cast iron. It was a cast iron skill. Oh man imagine that without a handle. No that'd be tough. Oh you don't want to lift that. Of course you don't want to lift a cast iron handle either. You're gonna want a glove. Yeah so I will so I have a sword. Yeah. So I will go with the obvious accompaniment, a coffee pot.

Oh, yeah, yeah, coffee pot? I'm going to go with a coffee pot, because, yeah, I mean, I don't need to tell you why. Coffee's coffee. It's pretty self-explanatory. It's a coffee pot. It's really good. You don't need to know my motivation.

I draft what I want. And then, honestly, I've really had sword and not a lot of other good ones. Um, so that's gonna make this tougher I'm gonna go with I came in with Sword on my I mean everything else just pales in comparison So I will go with Something that has a uniquely shaped handle and that's why I'm picking it. Because the handle itself is fun.

Okay. And it's an umbrella. Okay. Because it's got like a curly handle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's kinda cool. Oh, you're doing the curly, the J umbrella. Yeah, yeah, that's the kind of umbrella I picture.

Okay. I have several umbrellas, I don't have a single one of those. And that's really, you made a mistake. Because those don't usually collapse the same you know. They don't pop down? Yeah they don't go all the way down but when you collapse them then you hang them on the hook. Yeah sure. Yeah so that's really you're not living life till you get one of those. Okay. Mike you're up. Oh my goodness. Handle draft! Handled it!

It's one of our best ideas yet. Yeah, I like it. Fellas, I don't know if you've ever tried to carry a bucket without a handle. Oh man. That's a fool's errand. It's too big, too heavy. Yeah, you fill that thing up with some water. This is just impossible. You got to have a good sturdy handle on your bucket. Mike is carrying stuff. You know what I mean? Can we get rid of the thin metal handle? You know, like what's on some of these buckets? Yeah, you've got to have the extra plastic piece on. You've got to have that.

I feel like you're just slicing your fingers in half. We're selling those things? Like a pail. You're selling pails without the plastic on the? The metal. Yeah, like a metal pail. Oh, like the little ones. Sure. They're a little little, but you fill the the metal. Yeah like a metal pale like I like the little ones Sure, they're a little little but you

Yeah, medium sized I can handle a small pail. Yeah, fill it with water and have that Yeah, I got a good strong man hands I don't I Got I got really weak you do have a little bit weak hands Yeah, dude, you often hand me things for my man hands to handle. Yeah, I say dad Can you open this and and you got it? Mm-hmm? All right, Mike is carrying things. That's that is very true. That's what a handles for Not carrying my car, Mike. I'm opening my car.

There's lots of uses for a handle. Mike says that's what handles are for. Touche. All right, Jason. You need something with a handle here. I need something with a handle. Well, look, I'm really happy because last pick, I was between.

Your 102 made it back. My 103. My 102 was the refrigerator. I'm going one, two, three on my list. Incredible. Thank you. I'm crushing. I'm crushing over here.

A pickleball paddle. I mean, come on, baby. We all love pickleball here. Andy, you talk about if there's 100 people in the world, you'll be the best of them. So car, refrigerator, pickleball paddle. Oh, man. You did your crushing this job rushing. It's really good. You narrowed that handle down yes, and then I Don't think

Take Kyrie Irving because he's got handles All right, all right, no I figured no. I had to try. He doesn't have a handle. What's suitcase full of money. Just a suitcase. A suitcase. That's a great pick. But suitcases only used for money nowadays. There's no one that carries a an actual suitcase. My suitcase is always full of luggage and clothes. I'm thinking... You're talking about a briefcase In my mind I'm like you're bringing a briefcase to I'm gonna start taking your luggage off of the rack I'm gonna start filled with cash. Oh Man, I will say that briefcase then is your pick

I I will say a suitcase full of money is worth way more. Yes briefcase full of also you packing in a briefcase Now it was a very funny visual for me. Just put my shorts in here. That's what I thought you were saying and I was confused. Make sure you scramble to what people break in here. Are you drafting briefcase or are you drafting suitcase? I will let you choose. If I get to choose, I definitely would rather have a suitcase.

Oh. Yeah, sorry. Suitcase it is. So no money. A suitcase means one thing only Vacation yeah, you know if you're moving you're not packing in a suitcase. You're only using a suitcase to Travel somewhere hopefully fun. Yeah, unless you got kicked out of the house for yeah I mean when you when you move you're probably putting your clothes in a box. I don't know Mike

I don't bring a box. I don't know. Mike, we need something. Hold on. Your suitcase is, in fact, really just a box. But it zips clothes. And it's got handles. And it's designed for your clothes. So you're saying when you move, you go get an extra box.

I do too. What do you put in your suitcase? You guys move with your suitcases? Yes. I've never done that. No. For real? Nod, nod, nod.

I have what? Never done it. I've never done that. No. For real? Nod, nod, nod. Never done it. I've never done it. It's a box with wheels, guys. It does make sense. You unload your drawers into the suitcase. Into the suitcase. I've never done that.

I've moved so many times, I've never done that. Well, they have like boxes for shirts and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, it's called suitcase. Then you can just haul your empty suitcase to the house. Yeah, we do I do You put your suitcase in a box? No, no the suitcase stays out because it is in this it's a box itself But it's an empty box

I bring an empty box because I don't want to unpack my suitcase when I get there you want to unpack the box I really do use suitcases only for vacations. They have garment boxes. Yeah, and I use them. Yeah, I've seen them. They're pretty nice. No handles, though. Yeah, wish those things had a handle. And maybe some wheels.

And a wheel, yeah. All right. Man, if they made a moving box with handles and wheels, I would certainly buy it. Yeah, no, that's smart. And you just drafted it. And I'd put would certainly buy it. Yeah, no, that's smart. And you just drafted it. And I put my suitcase in it. Mike, you need to, you gotta pick something

with a handle here. Oh, don't worry. We're gonna close it out with a milk jug, boys. A milk jug. A milk jug. Frequent, so if you were voting on this draft by frequency of use, that would be very high. It would.

Cars, probably number one. Yeah, you are not drinking out of no carton. I mean, I do. I do that, too. But if you get the gallon, imagine a gallon of milk without a handle. That would be. You'd turn into an infomercial as you tried to pour it.

Yeah. Man, that would be awful. Your soft man hands are not just picking it up and tilting it. No way. I can't lift that. My final pick is a motorcycle. Yeah, it's on my list. That's, yeah.

Watch it. Let's go ahead. Hold on. It's got a handle? Where's the handle on the motorcycle? On the handlebars. Oh, handle. Yeah, can't help think me on that one.

You can't say it. Handlebars, it's built in. I mean, clearly the handles think me on that one. You can't say it. Handlebars, it's built in. I mean, clearly the handles are part of the bar. It's the bar where the handles are. I'm going with it. And we finished a spectacular draft, undrafted fishing rod. I almost took a gramophone just because you cranked the handle. Oh, oh, yeah

But I didn't feel like that might hit the whole audience No, I didn't know what it was until you just Beth I went birth I went Bella in Bertha is a phone like a rotary phone. Is that a handle? No, okay. Good. I'm glad I didn't take that Yeah, I don't think it is either broom is just classic because a broom handle is yeah, you know a big part of that That's shaped very similar to the handlebars now Handlebar what exactly differentiates a long handle like a broom handle versus handlebars almost nothing just grips Yeah, so if you put a broom sideways with grips you could drive a a bike. You have broom handles then? Yeah handlebars handlebars Yep, okay. I also have a mug microwave mug is I should have put that with the coffee

I thought you were going to that would have been smarter than umbrella with a J bottom. I Did not draft human head in this draft by the way did Which the hair at that point becomes a handle it It can. It's a makeshift though, it's not an official. Mike, did you have anything else? I mean teapot. Why'd you say it like that? I don't know. A pitcher? So you went with teapot, pitcher, jug, mug. You were like, what things are in my kitchen? Yeah, they're in my kitchen Also, if they didn't have a handle it would be a problem. All right What did we learn today? Jason and Andy

Don't realize you can just put your clothes. It's really in my mind. You don't have we learned that's our what did we learn today? You don't have to go on vacation to put clothes into a suitcase I have moved at least seven or eight times and I've always moved the suitcase is empty yeah me too one which is been kind of it does seem dumb it's so light and easy to move it's so easy to move them here could you and I don't have to unpack them why don't I think it makes sense yeah no I like that so I guess we'll close it out there thank you for joining us on this episode of the spitballers Hopefully you're still here and you'll come back next week. So thank you very much

Thanks to Al Papa Josh and the Falcon back there in Doosers Alley. Goodbye. Goodbye Thanks for listening to the spitballers podcast to see what other nonsense the guys are up to check out spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com