Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 296: Olympic Butt Swaying & Best Movies Based on a True Story - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: August 12, 2024

That’s right, Olympic Butt Swaying. Did we mention back-half cyborgs? We’ve got that too! Plus a rousing match of Ballerdash before we wrap things up with a Best Movies Based on a True Story Draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason. Blark, blark, blink, blinkity boop boop! Okay. Welcome in. There were some words. Blurp.

I like that word. That's a good word. I wish I could blurp. You've never been able to blurp. I can't blurp. I can fart though, man. Don't you worry. Don't you worry about a thing.

Well you've got to be able to get rid of the excess gas in some fashion or you would... Explode. Explode. Science. Welcome in to the Spitballers. Andy, Mike, and Jason back with you. Would you rather some baller dash? And we are drafting

once again on today's show. Today we are drafting the best movies based on a true story. So it's a movie draft, always fun. And so we'll get into that. Jason is nodding with a smirk, so he's got some pixies a fan of.

Look, I think today's show is going excellent. Okay. I'm looking forward to the draft and I'm looking forward to this baller-dash. It's been a while since we played baller-dash. Yeah I can't wait to learn how to play again. You can follow this show over on X at spitballers pod the website spitballerspod.com and the best thing you can do for us is just click that follow button on the podcast apps or If you're feeling extra nice, tell a friend Tell a friend how to make you're feeling nice take tell a friend how to make their day just a little bit better Yeah, and you can watch us at youtube.com

spitballers Would you rather youtube.com slash spitballers would you rather george from patreon says would you rather compete in your favorite olympic event but fail to metal or win a bronze medal in speed walking or a embarrassingly dumb event is there a dumber event than speed walking? I still don't understand how people can't cheat. It makes no sense!

And they do. I saw someone like, took a video, because it's speed walking, so I think by definition, you have to have one foot on the ground at all times. Oh, nonsense. They do not. None of them do. And they slow mo look at these feet and these people are, no, they're definitely not doing that.

No one is doing that. I have. I guess it's just all in the shimmy of the butt, the butt sway, because people don't run like that. That being said, it's all about the hardware. The Olympics is about the hardware to me. Right. I want to... Olympic gold about the hardware to me. Right. I want to-

Olympic gold or Olympic medalists. Yeah, I mean, like 20 years from now, I will have a medal from the Olympics that is far more valuable than coming in eight out of eight on the 5,000 meter. Like I had been watching some of these races. I watched one five minutes ago and it was really exciting for those top few people.

But some of these people are just left in the dust. Yeah, if I got to compete at my favorite event, that would be me getting dominated at basketball and being a huge liability for my team while these six, five, to seven foot just manimals make me look like an idiot. That wouldn't be a good time for me to be like, but I got to step out there and humiliate myself.

Now if you came in fourth in the 100 meter dash, would that be better? No. I mean, does that change anything? No, give me speed walk. Look, I want an Emmy, right? I think we all here want an Emmy. I think the three of us deserve an Emmy. We don't care if it's for the Spitballers podcast, or the footballers podcast.

The footballers podcast, the Spitballers podcast. I don't even care if it's like one of those offshoot Emmys, or it's like, this is the local... Best host with high body fat percentage. You can categorize that thing down as far as you want. Best host named Jason over 250 pounds with a beard. If I win that Emmy, I am Emmy award winning. That's a very specific Emmy. When they say what did you win your bronze in, that's when you say, so anyway. The Olympics is what I wanted.

Mike, what do you think? I was going to say, did you guys catch the guy? It was a shooting event. Oh, you bet I did. And it's a Turkish guy? Yeah, the memes are absolutely incredible. If you didn't see it somehow, I think they're just firing a pistol at a target I assume is,

it could be a half mile away, I have no idea. It's actually pretty far away. Yeah, it's very far away, and then you have all these competitors with really high tech glasses, where it's like lens on lens on lens so they can see the bullseye even clear. They have stances where-

Looks like that old Nintendo- What, Duck Hunt? No, no, no, the Nintendo device that people used to wear on their game. What is it called when the red screen? The Nintendo red screen in front of your eye. What, Virtual Boy? Yeah, that's it.

Go on. More like a Google Glass situation. And then they'll have stances where they're kind of turning over their shoulder, I imagine. Stabilize. Yeah, stabilize, balance yourself out a little bit better because any any tiny movement and this Turkish guy shows up He's got a hand in his pocket. Both eyes open. Both eyes open and he just points and shoots and he got a silver medal Yeah, he just won. I didn't watch I didn't watch it. I've seen the picture everyone a

Lot of people have seen the photo of him just standing there. It's so good. Hand in the pocket, eyes open, getting a silver medal at the Olympics. But I have to imagine he raised that gun up a tenth of a second before he's fired. You know what I mean? Like, that dude just walked up and goes, boop, I don't care, give me my medal. You want me to hit what? That thing.

Okay. And I represent, oh, the country? Yeah, my favorite meme of that was a photo of him. This is a real photo of him with his cat. I did see that. And it said, if anything ever happens to this cat, we're going to get four movies made John Wick style. Yeah, total John Wick.

That dude is awesome. But I am taking an Olympic medal, guys. I mean, yeah. Yeah, it's pretty epic. You know how fast I can walk? Well, I mean, legitimately, we're over here laughing because we respect other sports. But I mean, I imagine that the people who are in it,

they'd all take it very serious. And then if you have a medal, and anyone to your face is trying to be Are you any good at this? Yeah, like well it was with speed walking or whatever you go. I Have an Olympic medal. What do you have? Put your sports dumb I have an Olympic medal put it in reverse. Let's say we meet the gold medal speedwalker from the Olympics. I'm not looking down at that person. No, I've never

thinking it's talking behind their back. No, they're an Olympic gold medalist. Of course, give me the medal. Chris from Patreon, would you rather have no sense of smell at all? Or a normal sense of smell smell with the exception that all foods smell rotten. That? How can you possibly pick that one? Yeah, because nothing smells good. So it's like would you rather have roses? Everything does except for food. So you're going to have to... Wait, wait, wait. What really smells good outside of food? Like

you got roses, okay. Lots of things smell good, man. Axe body spray? Does it? No, but there's colognes and perfumes. Shampoos and the. There's plenty of things that smell good. Nature. Isn't there a smell of the rain?

Oh, for sure. Before it rains. It's great. Your own farts? Yeah. Someone smell popcorn? So then all the food just smells rotten though. That would, food, how are you going to eat? Smell and taste go together. 100%. In fact,

when people, this is a thing that happens to people, where food smells rotten oftentimes after a disease or something. This is a real thing. And those people have an exceptionally hard time eating. Which, the first option here, no sense of smell, means you're also gonna have a hard time eating. Harder, but yeah, I mean, I can eat without great flavor, but I mean, the sense of smell affects your taste. So, if you're smelling rotten food or rotten anything,

I think it's gonna taste. I think I could choose the second one. You think you could? Yeah, because I can plug my nose and then be the first person, but then I get all the rain smell and all the other good smells of life. I don't want my sense to be gone.

If this question was, in order to smell the world, you have to plug your nose every time you eat. I would not choose that. Really? Yeah. Oh, I'd get into a good, like, I'd have clothespin on quick draw.

Okay, I didn't think about the clothespin, I'm gonna be honest with you. I thought I was thinking, you know, how am I cutting my steak? Okay, I need two hands. You thought you just lost your hands. I need two hands for that. So they bring it up, I miss your, your clothes pin.

Yeah, it's definitely under the lid. They present the clothes pin. I don't want to lose the other smell. I don't want to lose my sense of smell. I know that what I'm about to say is inaccurate, but I'm still going to say it. I don't care about those it. I don't care about those smells. I don't care. I think if I like, like I just was talking about how I love the smell of right before

it rains. Oh, you don't care about those smells? Yeah, I don't care. I thought you were literally saying you don't care if your food smells terrible, you know it's good. No, it is gracious. If your food smells terrible, it will taste terrible. Yeah, it will.

So that's just out. I mean, that would be a really funny experiment just to go through putting a different smell under your nose while you've made some delicious steaks. Put it on the plate, you cut it up, you're about to eat it, but then you got a little smell card of something else. Yeah, maybe. And maybe not even nasty, but what would it be like if you had a strong chocolate smell under your nose

while you ate that steak versus a strong garlic smell under your nose? I mean, it should taste different. Oh yeah, it'll affect it. It's just weird, right, how they connect? It's kind of strange that they haven't come out with that form of dietary medication. I've seen a video of it, it was a lady

had the chocolate bar and you go. That throws down some vegetables. Oh really? It's like a bowl of broccoli. That's when you know you've hit rock bottom. That's what the fast food restaurants should start doing with their, like the new Jag in the Box burger should come with a little smell card like a filet mignon. You guys remember Scr. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Wait, that's not a thing anymore. Oh, you know for you you got rid of smell

I don't think so scratch and sniff was the markers, too Yeah, oh, yeah No, those are a problem though because those markers they smell delicious. They didn't just smell good. They smelled like food. They tasted good. No, no, they did not. That's the issue. I don't think they make those anymore. I think it was like, wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that you're making markers that you're incentivizing people to huff? The whole point of your sales pitch is smell this chemical that you should not be smelling. Like that would be like, I mean that would be like,

scinting bleach. You know like, oh man, it smells so good now. We have made donut smelling ammonia. You know, breathe it in. All right, Mike from Patreon, if half your body were to be replaced with robotics, would you rather it be your front, back, top, bottom, or left, right?

Which would be the robotic half and which would be human? This is going to take some work. Let's all examine each of these. I didn't hear you. I just thought of something. You think my markers? I gotta go back to the former question because I realized that I have a scorpion and spider spray. Like, and this thing is full, man, does it work.

Yeah, it does. I mean, on contact, that scorp is gonna insta-kill itself. That spider just shrivels is there anything that You could spray that would live through that like I know it's marketed as spider right right But then it sounds like it's just gonna whatever you sprayed on is just gone a hundred I think you're 100% all their sprays are the same chemical. They're just all labeled the you know spider sprays of the same chemical. They're just all labeled the spider, the scorpion, the roach. This one's cockroach. It's an amazing marketing strategy, but my point is I'm remembering that that stuff is

scented, floral, and smells outstanding. No! I am telling you, it is the most- That's illegal. But I'm just now connecting some dots here. I am literally only smelling the scent if whatever comes out of that can is going into my nostrils, right? Isn't that how the science works? That stuff's made to kill.

It's literal poison. Do you think that the spiders are like, ooh, that's... But why are they... Frank, you got to get over here. Why are they- Frank, you gotta get over here. Why are they scented? Get a whiff of this. Poison. Because the smell of poison normally is so egregious. It's off-putting. I don't want to use those in the house.

I don't either. I only use them out of the house, but I'd use a lavender scented one in the house. I'm telling you guys, it smells so good. You could clean with this stuff. Just clean your counters and you'd be like, this house smells good. You could clean with this stuff. Just clean your counters and you'd be like, this house smells good. And it'll kill everything that's on the counter. And you'll die.

If half your body were to be replaced with robotics, would you rather it be the front or the back? So you can only choose. That one is so weird. That one's really straight down the middle. That's super weird. Top or bottom or left or right? Do you want to cut it down to just top, bottom,

or left, right? No, I want to at least imagine. Yeah. What are the benefits of a front back? I mean, like a robot butt, but not your front. Abs. Your abs and your pectoral. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

Strong. Your shins. No more shin problems. Yeah, well, I wouldn't want a robot face, right? Well you'd have one if you go front half. Yeah, that would be the downside. Yeah, you're right, that's the problem. We'll rule that one out. So if you go left right, you get one leg and one arm.

Yeah, you get one of each. Isn't there a, Mike you're the superhero, Isn't there one of the, let me correct that. You're the superhero knower, okay? I stopped after you were the superhero. I thought you were about to give up my actual identity. Secret identity. Isn't there a superhero that is like, on the left half is a robot, on the right half is a human?

I don't know about that, but are you thinking of Cyborg? That is who I was, yeah, I think so. I mean, he's part robot. Which is what all of these are. I don't know that he's, I don't know that it's a... It's not split down on the left, right? Okay, okay. Just trying to unpack this.

What part of you would you want to be... The most robotic, yeah. Robotic, like what's the most... Legs. You think legs? I think it's legs. I think it's I want the bottom. It's your base. I don't know, man. want to be able to run really fast climb, you know jump But I am NOT gonna do those things whereas robot legs. Okay, that's fair

But does the robot legs doesn't give me good cardio. That's that's up in my heart my lungs That's you know, if I if I went legs now, I can't even handle how much that's you know if I if I went legs now I can't even handle how much power this takes to no but it's way easier because your robot legs aren't running off of your blood you don't think so no they wouldn't be robot legs these things are are pure oil and gasoline oh really if they're robotic legs it can't be your cardiovascular see charting it. Alright, okay. Yeah, it's on a battery or something.

Solar. What is the benefit of top half robot, bottom half not? I mean that one, it seems... Well, you got like incredibly strong arms. Yeah, you try to not open a jar of pickles. But your entire... That pickle just shatters in your hand. Entire digestive system and all that is robotic now?

That feels. Can I eat anything? Yeah, yeah. But you can't taste it. You know the robots can't taste. Robots have a legendary sense of taste. The metal tongue? I imagine that if your top half is robotic,

the amount of things you could see through your eyes would be incredible. That's true, vision. Okay. You know, the computer system in your mind, the thing that like Google Glasses could hot swap your arms out to, right? We're always supposed to be. Oh sure, you could hot swap your arms out.

For wings? Oh, now we're talking. Yeah, you're gonna be too heavy. For like helicopter propellers? Okay. Some cannons? Maybe. Some cannons maybe I'm just saying like 4th of July I got firework rocket arms okay now we're talking pointing straight in the air with this normal man body bottom half yeah just real skinny

legs what about like swimming? Swimming is... Oh, that's a problem. Yeah, you're going to rust. I don't think... Top half though, you can swim bottom half. Yeah, you can wade around in the water if you're top half robot. Hey, you hang out in the shallow. I mean any robot here, the water is a problem.

I still don't understand the front versus back. No, I don't either. Okay, I've got one front versus back. If you choose the back. I guess it's armor. If you choose the back, you can hide your robot. You know what I mean? You can.

Yeah, I see what you're saying. You're still going to get some advantages, right? My hamstrings, my calves, my glutes. Yeah, but think about the biggest problem. The bidet. Oh, yeah, we just said water's a no-go. Yeah, you're wiping. Wait a minute.

You're wiping with your hand. But am I pooping? Yeah, otherwise, I mean, it's gotta come out. I think it's just an oil change, man. What, you got half a digestis, and this whole front back thing is a mess. It's all front to back is, you can't go back and forth. I mean, I imagine where my heart is.

That means half of it would be robotic. What do you mean you imagine where it is? Well, like front to back, I don't know how close to my chest versus how, okay, yeah, it's right in the middle. I see what you mean. You meant like, the depth. How deep is your heart? So deep.

I think I'm gonna go. Yeah, we're all taking legs. Yeah, going legs. OK. We're going to take a break and get into some baller dash. Today's episode is brought to you by your friends at Prize Picks. Prize Picks is America's number one daily fantasy sports

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for a deposit match up to $100. Pick more, pick less, it? Game time. Well, it's been a minute. We are jumping into Baller Dash. This is very fun. It's so fun that Al loves explaining it every time. I sure do. All right. You guys were given five prompts in five different categories. Those categories are definition of a word, a notable person, an acronym, a movie plot, and weird laws. Your objective is to identify the correct answer and trick your opponents into picking your fictitious answer. Yeah.

Two points. We're just getting them all right. Sure. Oh, that's true. Go for that. Two points if you guess the correct answer. One point if an opponent guesses your answer. All right, that's true. Go for that. Two points if you guess the correct answer. One point if an opponent guesses your answer. All right, let's begin. All right, we're gonna start with the definition.

The word is fartin' bag. Whoa. Yes! Whoa, spell that for me. F-A-R-D-I-N-B-A-G, fartin' bag. So the D is a real important letter. It is. In this fartin' bag.

Yes, because I know what a fartin' bag is. I'm going to be honest. Yeah, exactly. I've farted in a bag before. I mean, who amongst us, Jason? When you cup your hand, can you call that a bag? Who amongst us hasn't tried to trap a fart? Yeah.

I don't think it's possible. Not to the degree that you hope. Yes. Well said. It's possible, just never good enough. No. All right. So what is the definition? I've had some pretty strong successes. Oh my gosh. Is it the quality of the Ziploc? I think it's the quality of the fart. As a professional professional cup of cheese or is it the layers between bag and Yeah, you know Yeah, you gotta be got a bare bottom it. Oh You got a bare bottom

Filter it out This is a professional podcast farting bag. Yeah Bring I'm bringing it back to the game here fart in the bag Yeah, I'm bringing it back to the game here fart in a bag All right is a fart in bag the upper stomach of a cow Okay, okay. Hmm a bag of assorted treats given out at German festivals Okay, German bag. Okay a slang term for a quick meal that was often associated with the working class in Germany No, no, they're German one or a medieval pouch used to store magical herbs All right, I got my answer. Oh man. All right. I got my answer as well. I didn't now is there a rule on

Got a lock. We got a lock. I think we take turns locking in first. All right. All right So I would you if you guys were confident go ahead you can start and I'll lock in first I'll go I'll go first on this round I'm gonna go upper stomach that's what I'm doing too this is a trap ha ha ha well you're we're all supposed to decide beforehand yeah I I'll go stomach was what I was gonna do okay whatever we're all we're all going for it okay all three of you got that correct. Okay. All right.

The funding bag is the upper stomach of a cow. I went hard with one of the Germany ones. Yeah. I figured you two were the Germany, and I genuinely thought, I mean I was sure. If you were gonna pick one, which one? That you guys were taking the magical herbs. Oh yeah, yeah, no. All right, everybody got two useless points on that one.

Magic is not real. That was the biggest problem for that one. yeah, no. All right, everybody got two useless points on that one. Magic is not real. That was the biggest problem for that one. Yeah, sure. For the real definition of something. I mean, if you had just said like herbs. But that was my trap. That was what I thought it worked. The magical?

Yeah, yeah, the magical. I genuinely- Did you fall into it, Mike? No, that's how I was able to sidestep it. Yeah, but my goal was genuinely- Did you fall into it, Mike? No, that's how I was able to sidestep it. Yeah. But my goal was that it was too obvious. No one would say magical. Magic's not real, so it's there. But you guys didn't think hard enough, OK?

That's on you. So it's on us. OK. That's my bad, dude. Thank you. All right, so what's side? Moving forward, we'll lock in the answers before anybody gets theirs out.

All right. We're going to talk about notable people. This person, Elmo Lincoln. Elmo Lincoln. Elmo Lincoln. Was Elmo Lincoln a New York governor who played a pivotal role in creating the Erie Canal? Boring.

Was Elmo Lincoln known for inventing the first full-size wooden casket? Casket? Was Elmo Lincoln the first actor to play the role of Tarzan? Oh, man. That's a good answer. Or was Elmo Lincoln a steel baron that lost his empire in a business war

with John D. Rockefeller? Oh, man. I want to give that one the credit, even if it's wrong. John D. A steel baron? That's awesome. I didn't know that was a thing. Crush your enemies.

That's an oil baron, Mike. It's still an oil baron. Oh, it's so good. So Governor, Casket, Tarzan, Steel Baron. I'm going. I got mine locked. Yeah, we got to lock them in'm going, I got mine locked. Wait, we gotta, yeah, we gotta lock him in. Okay, I got mine locked in.

I've got mine locked in. All right, Mike, what are you going with? Tarzan. I'm gonna go Steel Baron. I'm gonna go Casket, so we're getting different points here. Alrighty, Mike got the answer correct. He was the first actor to play the role of Tarzan, so Mike gets two points there.

Great success. And then, let's see. Steel Baron, was that one of your guys' answer? That was me. That was Mike's answer, so he gets a point there. So he's at three. Andy was the casket. Yeah.

Andy was the casket, so Andy gets one point. Oh. What a round, boys. Yep. All right, so we're on to the acronym. That is correct. And Mike is winning five to three to two? That is correct.

All right, the acronym we're gonna try and decipher here is APDA. What does APDA stand for? Oh, the APTA. Mm-hmm. Yeah. We have all heard of APTA. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that Elmo.

What is it? That Elmo. Before an Apta. Elmo Lincoln was the Apta that played Target. Switch. Oh my goodness. I don't even have buttons over here. No, that's pretty rotten.

Goodness gracious. That was great. All right. That was shameful. Is Apta the advanced problem detection and analysis? Hold on. OK. is APTA, the Advanced Problem Detection and Analysis. Hold on. Okay. We got a lot to write down here.

I'm just writing one word. Hopefully it works out. Go ahead. Advanced Potato Development Association. What? Don't need to write that down. Potato. Alabama Police district attorney.

That's one person. They have an acronym. Alabama man. Or American Power Drinkers Association. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

These are all brutal. Oh, man. Power drinkers? What was the first one again? All right, now that we've. The first one was advanced problem detection and analysis. All right. Then there's a potato, a district attorney,

and a power drinker. Okay. There, I got mine locked. Okay. All right, I'm locked. I'm going advanced problem detection analysis. I'm going power drinkers of America. I'm going power drinkers The correct answer was American power drinkers And Andy picked Mike's answer of advanced problem detection and analysis Mike you are crushing you are crushing this game

Wow, no one wanted my potatoes Let me explain why you two didn't fall for that Yeah You didn't think I honestly you thought too much this time. I was very surprised when I what was my acronym there again Advanced potato development association. Oh, man. I was I was trying to go for the right answer. I mean, the other three words were great. There could have been any P word in there. I just assumed that was the real acronym.

Got poodles. Poodles of... That would have been way better. All right, so Jason has four points because of that one. Potato. Yes. Mike has seven points, or eight. And I have three. Let's go. All right, we're moving on to the movie plot.

The movie title is Blobbermouth. How do you spell that? B-L-O-B-E-R-M-O-U-T-H. Blobbermouth. Blobbermouth. Was Blobbermouth a film about a global pandemic spread through drinking water? Okay, pandemic. Or was Blobbermouth a film about a global pandemic spread through drinking water? Okay, pandemic. Or was Blobbermouth a diver off the coast of Australia becomes the host of a blob fish monster that terrorizes Queensland?

Okay. Or is Blobbermouth the remake of the horror flick The Blob with Steve McQueen starring as a struggling stand-up comic? KHA GBT. Or lastly, was Blobbermouth, a teen can't stop sharing the secrets of a small town. After he finds and shares a dark secret of the most powerful family in town, the Millers,

the boy awakens in a dark room with his mouth sewn shut. That's a long card. Okay. Will you read me the one that was Chad GPT again? Just read them all again real quick. All right, we got a film about a global pandemic spread through drinking water. A diver off the coast of Australia

becomes the host of a blob fish monster that terrorizes Queensland. The remake of the horror flick The Blob with Steve McQueen starring as a struggling stand-up comic. Or a teen can't stop sharing the secrets of a small town after he finds and shares a dark secret of the most powerful family in town, the Millers, the boy awakens in a dark room with his mouth sewn shut. Oh my gosh. What a mouthful. Yeah, a blabber mouthful.

Pfft. Goodness. Switch. How do you lock one of these in? All right, I've got, oh, this is, all right. I'm locked, but I'm not revealing first. OK, I'm locked. All right, if we're locked, I'm not revealing first. Okay, I'm locked. All right, if we're locked,

I will go ahead and reveal first. Yeah. I'm gonna go with the global pandemic. So am I. I'm gonna go with the teen secret paragraph. With the mouth sewn shut. All right, nobody got the correct answer. Oh no.

Which was created by ChatGPT apparently. The correct answer was the remake of the horror flick The Blob with Steve McQueen starring as a struggling stand-up comic. Wow. Andy's answer was the film about the global pandemic. So he gets two points there and Mike was the paragraph so he gets one point there.

Oh, you idiot. You idiot. All right. So now we got Mike with nine. Apparently the other ones were a little more concise. Mike has nine, Andy has five, Jason has four. Final round, man. And we are onto the final round.

It's a new high score for sure. Yeah, for sure. You are crushing. All right, this is the weird laws. The law is in Montana, it is a crime to keep a fur bearing animal that you have caught unless, unless it lives inside your house. Okay. It is a crime to keep a fur-bearing animal that you have caught unless... Unless it lives inside your house.

Okay. Unless you tattoo your name on it. What? Claimed. Unless you live on a registered ranch with at least 20 acres of land. That's a good answer. Unless you are a licensed zookeeper. Okay. It is a crime to keep a fur-bearing animal that you have caught in less

Need me to read them again. He's a Lives inside the house Tattoo your name on it have enough land or are a zookeeper that is correct Hmm Hmm. Hmm, hmm, hmm. I mean, this is keeping a fur-bearing animal that you caught. That you caught, not killed. This is not like you caught, like, killed it and you keep its fur. This is a fur-bearing animal you caught and want to keep. Alright, alright.

Okay. Alright, I've got my answer. I'm locked in. I got mine. I'm gonna go lives inside house You're both taking that one. I'm going the registered land if you have enough land also How do you tattoo a furred animal? You can still get down to the skin sure but then it the fur grows back too is gonna be the right answer Oh, that is the correct answer. Oh my gosh. I pivoted the last second. Are you kidding me?

Nope, tattoo your name on it was the correct answer. Mike was enough land, so he gets one point from Jason. Son of a gun. Jason's was the live inside your house, so he gets two points. It was too easy. See, that's how you do it, man. Give us a final score here.

Oh, I beat Andy, that's what matters. How did he get two points? Because you both guessed his answer. So Mike ended with 10, Jason with six, and Andy with five. 10 points. I'll take second place considering which one was the.

Jason's answer was the live inside your house. We both did do that. Yep. All right. Congratulations, Mike. You're amazing. Here's a break. Oh, we both did do that. Yep. All right. Congratulations, Mike. You're amazing. Thank you. Here's a break.

The Spitballers Draft. All right, I think this draft is tougher. It was tougher than I thought it would be to To really it's the ranking of them like there's a lot of movies That are based on true stories that are out there, but putting them in an order was more tough I have the first pick and we're still going the right direction despite correct Yeah, so it will go by the fact I'm sitting in the wrong spot correct yes so it will now go Andy Mike Jason okay good luck Al I think I'm gonna go with for the first pick I'm gonna go with I'm gonna

go with catch me if you oh that was easily my number one catch me if you can easily if you remember the plot of that movie. Oh, it's so good. That's Frank Abigail. Yeah, Abigail. Abigail who? Abigail. Con artist. DeCaprio. Hanks. And eluded the FBI.

If you haven't seen Catch Me If You Can, if this is a movie you're like, oh, what is that? You can, you've listened to enough of this episode for it to register as a download for us. So, so you can stop now and go watch that movie. It is an all timer. It is so entertaining. It's one of those perfect movies. Where there's not a wasted line or moment in the mood. It's like back to the future where it's like, everything is totally necessary.

And it, I mean, that takes you places. That movie is awesome. There's movies where it's like, any moment that I tune into the movie, it doesn't matter. That's one of one. That is one. And it's on top of the- That would have been your one on one?

Oh, easily. And the story is so, that was, I read the book, boys. Like, that's how much I loved that movie. The story is so outrageous of basically a kid, a teenager, is able to trick professionals that he is a pilot, that he is a doctor, that he is a lawyer. The story is unbelievable.

Well, he's the mouse that kept fighting two mice. lawyer, like the story is unbelievable. Well he's the mouse that kept fighting two mice. And then the real character ends up on like late night talk shows. Yeah, I mean it's, to say that this is, we're drafting movies based on a real story. It is the most unbelievable real story of all time. Like you- Yeah. All right, Yeah. All right. All right.

That was easily my number one. Number two, I know the order, so the number two is Apollo 13. Oh. Which, because you got your movie, you're pumping. Yeah. Yeah, that's fine, Jake. Apollo 13's a great bit.

I know what you're gonna pick. I can't believe he didn't take it. Yeah, Apollo 13 is a great movie, and it's also, you have to, if you can go back in time, like if you're our age, you can go back and think about seeing that in the movie theater with, they're in zero gravity, man. This is back when they, we didn't have computers

that could do that. They had to film in a plane that's diving. And so they could have zero gravity in the movie. It's that is like the where the story of Catch Me If You Can is unbelievable. The actual just production of Apollo 13 for when it came out. I like the bit. Mind blowing. That would have been that would that's next on my list.

So it would have been one of my two picks here and Catch Me If Can, was ahead of that, so it's great, but I can't believe that the actual 101, especially, I was so jealous that you had the 101, Andy, because our favorite movie of all time. Because it's so barely based on, movie based off of name in somewhat of history. Braveheart, maybe, it is still. I didn't wanna give Braveheart, baby. Yeah. It is still. I didn't want to give Braveheart the credit.

The historical credence. You don't think that there is. But it is based. Most of these movies. I mean, there was a William Wallace. Yeah, there was a William Wallace. I think there's even, like, are we 100% sure there's a William Wallace?

Yes. There's definitely a William Wallace. There's definitely a William Wallace. OK. This is based on a true story and is the best true story of all time. It's the best. Braveheart, baby. Based up we did say based on. All right. I mean the truth is most movies based on a true story take a lot of liberty. Yes. They're very commonly

loose. So William Wallace's Wikipedia, the little snippet that pops up, this William Wallace, popular movie, depiction, 95. And the film was criticized for many historical inaccuracies. Yep. But it's awesome. And it's still based upon the, still based upon. All right. That's a great pick.

OK. Good job. OK. All right. My next one trying to play the game here because I I think you guys might have left this off your list and So I'm gonna I'm gonna wait on it would be my next pick it's an unbelievable movie, but I gotta I gotta play the game and take something I think you guys might take and

Please correct me if I am wrong boy that this is not like this this one boy like catch me if I am wrong. Oh boy. That this is not, like this one seems. Oh boy. Like Catch Me If You Can where this couldn't be a real story, right, but when I was looking it up it said it was based on a true story. The Wolf of Wall Street.

Yeah, that's a real person. Okay. It is loosely based off of stories of his life. Well there you go, I will take the wolf of Wall Street Yeah, like that guy's like on social media and stuff now talking about things. That's uh that's that's a pretty wild movie Yeah, I don't I don't know how much is accurate, but I think that he loosely based on I have one I have one on my list that is so loose. That's even worse than Braveheart way That is so loose. That's even worse than Braveheart?

Way worse. I knew he would, too. Way worse than Braveheart. I knew a draft was going to be a danger zone for Jason. I had it on my list, and I was the same as Andy. I'm like, I can't do this. Yeah. OK.

I'm going to keep going with just of stories where I can't believe it is actually based off of a true story. Argo. Argo's on my a true story. Argo. Argo's on my list, man. Argo, Jay's blank stare. You don't remember that one? 1979 Iranian terrorist crisis.

It's the Ben Affleck movie where the government puts together a crew pretending they're going to make a movie. And then they get the hostages. Six Americans rescued. And it's like And it actually happened. Have you not seen that movie? No, I have seen it and it is a very good movie. The movie is great and the story is just like, you gotta be kidding me. There's no way that it's real. But it is actually real. My blank stare was because I was like Fargo is not a real movie True story, but it's also not what I said right Argo is a different movie

Back to me. Yep two picks All right. My next pick is actually going to be into the wild Okay, that's the Alaska movie. It's the the young kid that gives up all of his possessions and goes and lives in Alaska in the bus. And you ever seen that? I have never seen that. It's a book.

I haven't seen it. But I believe it's a John Krakauer book. And then the movie. And like, is the bus still there? Or is there something about that? Yeah, I think you can still go find that. Yeah, he's not there anymore. So you like that one? Yeah, I thought it's one of the best true stories. And then the

second one I'm going to go with is, I'm going to save this one until the end, I think. So I'll go with The Social Network. Oh, it's a great movie. It's so good. I will go with the Facebook Zuckerberg story. Yeah, Fincher makes good movies. So the whole Facebook backstory. You know, I came across that and I forgot to put it on my list. But it was fun to watch. That's a good watch.

And it's so modern, obviously. And if you're Zuckerberg, and I mean, I'm sure there's plenty of liberties taken in there. And not everyone comes out of that movie looking fantastic. But if you're Zuckerberg, I'm sure there's plenty of liberties taken in there. And not everyone comes out of that movie looking fantastic. But if you're Zuckerberg, I'm watching that movie going, yeah, I'm looking pretty good right now. Good work. OK, I can't take any chances.

It's not on Jason's list, I don't think. But again, we can't take any chances. Because you've got to feel the rhythm oh you got to feel the rhyme what a great big oh my running baby I'm running yes on a to make we got a bobsled oh man oh my gosh yes dude yes best pick of the draft I can't believe it's not not on my list I mean you're dead bond totally forgot, but that is You got to pick that thing up. Yeah, I'm going on right now. I mean that won't I love that I love that movie as a kid watch it again. It's I forgot it was based on a true story

We've got all these serious Iranian hostage crises, and this is the Jamaican bobsled team yeah, and and I'm gonna be honest with you here. I'm gonna keep rolling with your concept here. Okay. Jump in. I'm going. Water's nice. I'm going sports. Okay. I'm going. I'm going. No, there's a lot. There's a lot of true sports movies and I'm not going to take your first one. Okay. Because this is the movie I wanted second. It is a great movie. It's a little older, and I don't think it's going to be on your guys' list. A league of their own. Oh, yeah, it's a great movie.

That movie is awesome. Great movie. Tell them my list. Also has Tom Hanks. Does Hanks and DiCaprio only do these true stories? Yeah, they're on a handful of these. And then I'm going to follow that that up truth is better than fiction. Oh I was you know, Andy your response has me questioning which

movie To go with like I gave something away. Yeah Yeah, I'd rather steal for me than get the right pick Well, I you you reminded me of something that I think get the right pick. Well, you reminded me of something that I think is the right pick, and you just reminded me. And so you helped me remember The Titans. Oh, that's funny. Is that a rewind?

Yeah, yeah. It's based on a true story. Remember The Titans is... That's a good movie. I didn't know that that was real. Yeah, yeah. I don't even remember the plot I think the plot is the inclusion of like the

Segregated either desegregate. Okay. Yeah, the segregation and then that's the bad. I think it's probably my favorite It's probably my favorite like sports football. It's definitely my favorite football movie. Yeah based on a true story I didn't have it on my list until just then. But yeah, I'll go back to back sports. Okay. On their own and remember the Titans. There was another sports one that I. Yeah, I've got another sports one I was gonna go with.

All right, Mike, your final pick. You have Apollo 13, Argo and cool runnings. Jason finished with Braveheart, the Wolf of Wall Street, a league of their own and remember the Titans. So there's still a few really good ones, but I'm gonna try and, I'm trying to remember the impact when I first saw it. So, and in whatever else diversify my movie genres

here a little bit, I'm gonna take Black Hawk Down. Black Hawk Down in the theater was, that was an event. That was super intense. It was intense from. That was too intense for me. It really was. From start to finish, that movie was extremely intense. I was like, yeah, not able to handle it.

That's a good pick. I am catching you, if you can, into the wild on the social network. And I'm going to. Yeah, the last one's hard. I feel like I've already lost this draft. And that makes me want to be more focused, not on the movie that people have seen as much,

but on the best pick. It should never be that, it should be your picks. Then I'm going to choose the combination of amazing film with amazing story. Jurassic Park. Society of the Snow. OK, you have talked about it.

Have you seen it? No, I've never heard of it. You've talked about it at length and. There's two versions. There's an old one that they did in the seventh. The old one's Alive. What? Oh.

Alive is the name of it. Alive is on my list. Society of the Snow is the most recent one they made on Netflix, and it's based on the same story. Yeah, that's where people eat people. Well, that's really taken one part of the movie, but it's the survival of a sports team that crashes in the Andes.

Yeah, in 1972, and they have to basically survive an entire winter in the And winter. I just remember growing up and Hearing about this movie. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah crazy. Yes. There was this true story of when people ate people That's all I knew from it. Obviously they were driven to that not like not like a hobby And they weren't alive when they were eating them. Right, right. I feel like that's not fair to name the movie alive. But it's not eaten alive.

No. It's more about staying alive. You're thinking of the movie eaten alive. OK. All right, some other ones. I'm sure we got a lot here. The other sports one I was going to mention was Moneyball. Moneyball was what I planned to take until you reminded me

of Remembering. And then some classics, The Big Short, which was amazing. Oh man, yes. And then Aaron Brockovich, I always loved that movie. I never saw it. I've never seen it. That'll make it harder to like. Yeah, I mean, that won the- Can't give opinions.

Didn't that win Best Picture? Or did she just win Best Actress, yeah. Yeah, that was a great movie. I had Hidden Figures, the true story. Yeah, that's an awesome movie, NASA, NASA. Yes, yeah. NASA with the three black women who are like huge part of it and they just don't get credit because we've done stupid stuff. I almost kept the DiCaprio run going because I found out Revenant is based off of a true story and I, like Revenant, I imagine that you two do not like The Revenant.

Never saw it. Don't see it. Kept wanting to see it. Really? If you started it a year ago, you'd almost be done with it. You would watch it the same way you watch Blade Runner and go, this is stupid and not much is happening. It's more about the environment and oh my gosh,

the soundtrack though, the whole movie is incredible. It's an okay movie. Yeah. It's just a long slog, man. That movie just keeps going and going. It's long and slow. I only knew. I actually thought of it during this.

I love it. And didn't think it was based on any true story. It must be loose. I think it's just yeah based off of that guys the guy like a great like William Wallace I only knew one thing about that movie that you guys lied to me about All right, I'm I had a couple on my list. I had the the pianist or Schindler's list awesome movies They just you know they're not fun. I hate calling movies like that awesome. No, right, yes, totally. But you can do it. No, but that's why it went on draft. Impactful.

OK, yes, yes, because it's a terrible, awful, horrendous, true story captured well in cinema. Those are one-time watches. Yeah, yeah, they're not fun times. If I watch it more than once, I'm like, that's not OK. I had A Beautiful Mind, very good movie based on a true story. The Founder, huh? Oh, The Founder's pretty good.

McDonald's. Oh, that's a good movie. Yeah, The Founder is... I love Michael Key. I imagine that Ray Kroc is not very happy about that movie. You had Ali, that was, you know, we didn't have any of that. You had a huge list over you. Yeah, well, there's a lot of good ones.

Cinderella Man? You know we didn't have a huge list over yeah, well there's a lot of good ones And then relevant the one that I thought was too loose Even even looser than brave art was the Patriot apparently no it's not it is loosely based on Based on the fact there was a revolutionary war no no No, it is not would you have counted Titanic? Yes, of course, okay? That's where it's of course. OK. That's where it's like, yes, it's based on. I know. I know the Titanic went down.

I just felt like the entire story is made up. Right. And then Walk Hard, the Dewey Cox story. Those were mine. That is a true story. What is that? Oh, you don't know. It's the story of Dewey Cox, the musician.

He's very similar to Johnny Cash. That one's not a true story. No, that's not a true story. No, that's not. What did we learn today? What did we learn today? Because I'm thinking nothing. I learned that Mike is really good at baller dash.

I mean, we were guessing every one of his clues. I learned that there is maybe nothing sillier than a front half robot. That's true, and I learned that Tom Hanks and DiCaprio are into the true stories. Thanks for joining us. We'll be here next week. Mike will have the scat, we'll have a new draft, and we'll all have a good time. Goodbye.

Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.