Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 305: Blood Types & Best Pets For A Supervillain - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: October 28, 2024

Join us on a quest to figure out Jason’s blood type, discuss proper plane bathroom etiquette and play a hilarious round of Guess, Guess Goose before wrapping things up with a draft of the best pets for a supervillain. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

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Run your game. ["The Game Show Theme"] What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Scoobity boobity dingity wingity b-dingy. All right. All right. All right, all right, all right.

You know, I was disappointed it ended in a biddingy, but the biddingy did really go with what you were doing. So I can't be too mad at it. Because if that was the first, like if I just heard that scat, I'd be like, that's a good scat. I haven't been dinghy'd very often. It's been a minute. Welcome in to the Spitballers. Mike Wright, Andy Holloway, Jason Moore back with you.

Would you rather? On today's episode, Guess, Guess Goose, which I was just informed. Guess who's the goose yeah I just I was just told I was a not just a loser but lost by a lot is what I was told and I don't remember I don't remember but I believe the goose is loose I believe thank you for listening thank you for supporting the show thank you for tuning in let's get it going. Would you rather? This is where the important questions get answered. Like Alfredo's question, when sitting

in a row of strangers on a plane, okay, would you rather have a window seat and Get up once every 15 minutes to go to the bathroom man Or have an aisle but the people next to you get up and go to the bathroom every 15 minutes This is the easiest question of all time for me. Just my personality my Yep, you'll be infinitely forgiving, but you don't want to be infinitely annoying. 100%. I don't mind being annoyed by people.

I mean, if they are an annoying person, okay, you're out, I don't like you. I really am thinking negative thoughts in my head towards you. And that's not a person getting up every 15 minutes? No, if someone has to get up every 15 minutes to go to that bathroom. Yeah, you know why.

Empathy reigns supreme. Diarrhea. Yeah, I mean that's. I'm not seat belting, you know what I mean? I'm gonna be there for him or her. I would offer to move seats. I'd offer to do the flip. Yeah, how many?

Yeah, but you want the window. Three trips. You like, that is so insulting. That is so insulting if you're, I'd offer to do the flip. Yeah, but how many yeah, but you want the window three trips you like it That is so insulting. That is so insulting if you're Asking the that's that is so that is so insulting. Wait, which it what's insulting offering to switch seats I know what you think that it's like this really but as soon as you offer There's no way that those words will come out of your mouth where you don't think oh, maybe that was maybe they're like offended Like you know you want to do want to switch seats because at that point I'm feeling like can I try to can I try to? like

Do it okay, so excuse me. I'm so sorry. I know I know this is your third time. Yeah, sorry listen listen Hey, we've all been there honestly I don't mind if I don't mind sitting on the inside if you if you think you know You need no My mom's calling you go to the bathroom. My mom's calling Is that an expression for having to go to the bathroom? No, it's an expression It's just it's an old Jerry Maguire line. Oh, it's like this is not an expression. No, it's all that was that offensive McGuire line. Oh, I was like, this is not an expression.

No. Was that offensive? That wasn't offensive, but I felt like I didn't. You put me in a position where I have to answer you, and both answers feel bad. OK. Let's say, third trip. You come back.

Andy is just now in the window seat. Your stuff has been moved to the aisle. I would be weirded out. I would be like, excuse me, I'm back. But then Andy's like, what do you mean? I was sitting there. No, you weren't. Oh. You just light them. So what's crazy about that is that makes you feel better. Does that feel better? It does feel better. I don't know how that works, but I was like, if you tell me no,

I wasn't, I was here the whole time, I'd be like oh okay you know I just plopped down and move on with life gas light the heck out of me man tell me how to live I remember take off but yeah must have been a different flight yeah I'll just say no you've been getting up the poop from that in-seat yeah that's what I'll say. Are we all on the same page here? We'd rather be the one. Yeah, 15 minutes is... I feel like you could even the time out. Let's say it's a four-hour flight,

and you either have to get up once an hour. That's fine. Or they have to get up every 15 minutes. Then it evens it out. I'd be willing to be the get up once an hour and just say, sorry. Like the first time is nothing. The second time is it's like, sorry, I gotta go again.

The third time, time three is, I gotta make up some other reason. See, I am, like if this was, I've gotta get up every 15 minutes from my aisle seat to let either one, both of the other passengers in my aisle go. I don't care at all. Like okay, getting up, maybe if I'm, you know, if there happens to be a meal, it's a long flight or something, then okay, that's a little bit annoying.

But outside of that, I don't mind at all getting up. It's nice. It's like, oh good, I get an excuse to stand up, stretch my legs. If it was like I have to get up every 15 minutes for a four hour flight and let people pass or I'm the window and I've got to go to the bathroom once, I would choose the aisle because- Oh man. Well. No, but here's why.

Oh man. Not all. When I go- Yeah. This is neurotic. why. Not all. When I go, when I leave the window and have to cross people, the uncomfortability of that process, not because I'm putting you out, but because I don't want to- Because of the badonkadonk? Yeah, the badonkadonk, the belly donk, the, you know, look I'm both-sided man. So it's like I don't know if I turn away from you

or if I turn towards you. You can't walk straight and not turn at all? No I'm a wide berth! I'm just taking out legs. These are child rearing hips. There's no comfortable way for me or them for me to cross their paths. I'm basically just going I'm sorry I'm a trample over your ear. Have we factored in you all the shaking the seats in front of you? Oh, I don't care about them. I don't have to see their faces. What if you have we thought about redesigning plane rows to where let you know, there's a lot of planes that have like two seats in a row, right?

So it's two. What if you put first class? What if you put those back to back? Oh, okay. Yeah. So everyone is you could always get out. Do you know those back to back? Oh, OK. Yeah, so everyone is. Then you could always get out. Do you know what I'm saying?

So you're flying sideways? Yeah. That would be weird. You don't want to fly sideways? Take off might hurt. No, only forward. Or backwards. You think it'll mess with you?

Oh, good Lord, no. No backwards? No. Not like one of those. The flight attendants do it every time. Like those old station wagons? I'm not a flight attendant. Well, they're a human.

You're a human. No, lots of people can do that. Hold on. Backwards is out. Frontwards. Yeah. In coach or backwards in first class, Mike? Forwards in coach.

Whoa! What an idiot. You sound so stupid. Backwards with a lay down first class bed on an eight hour flight or coach? I can't do it. Why can't you go backwards? I will be sick. I will be motion sick the whole time.

Yeah. Not the whole time. When you're just flying, you don't know. You don't know the direction. I know. When you go into the bathroom on a flight, you are sitting sideways. Thank you.

You get sick in the bathroom? Have you ever spent a while sitting sideways? Look, I've had to drop a dump on a flight you're sitting sideways. Yeah thank you you get sick in the bathroom? Have you ever spent a while sitting sideways? I've had to drop a dump on a plane. A sideways dump? Oh yeah. You've never dumped on a plane? I've never dumped on a plane. Look man, there would be a medical emergency before I go to dump in an airplane. Sometimes there's the choice of it's here in the seat or it's in the bathroom

and you have to take the lesser. At least that one's a quick trip. You know if it's going to be here in the seat, it's in the bathroom and you have to take the lesser. At least that one's a quick trip. You know if it's going to be here in the seat, it's coming out fast. This isn't like I'm having a grueling labor in the bathroom. You're OK. OK, I cannot go backwards, but this comment cannot be, go to Deucer's Alley.

What just happened? Our newest member of our team, the Falcon. The Falcon, who is known, if you listen to the fantasy footballers, you would know that a lot of times he can't show up to work because he's too busy with his business in the bathroom. You know his name in our video game that we play? I don't.

Falcon Poop. Falcon Poop. Math checks out. But he just messaged that it's a top three spot to poop? A top three spot to poop? A top three spot to poop? I got to hear about this. I don't really have an explanation, but just satisfying. Do you like going in different places then?

Are you a public restroom guy then too? No. No, I don't like those. But something about an airplane. Something about being a- You can ask for snacks when you get up there? Gravity's a little more powerful. I think it's the fact that I'm so enclosed.

Wait, hold on, hold on. No, no, no, hold on. You're saying you go up there for the business and then you're like, hey, can you give me some snacks on the way out? Yeah, excuse me, like, hey, can I get a refill on my Sprite? And they give it to you? Yeah, ask for some extra peanuts.

Wow. What? When I walk out of the bathroom after a tinkle, my head is down in shame. If I'm coming out of that bathroom after a deuce, I'm not asking anyone for anything. I like to believe he gets the snacks on the way into the bathroom.

I feel like I would be more likely, I would be more likely that- My blood sugar's about to be down. I need a, I'm gonna be in here a while. I need some sustenance. If I had to poop on a plane, I might open the bathroom door, do a U-turn to the fuselage door, and

jump out of the plane. I would just be like, you didn't see me, I'm so sorry. I would just... I had to poop, I deserve this. There's some percentage chance I will live. I've always wished planes could be like old-timey trains that you get a train car You know where you get like an ink? Yeah, an enclosed like not even a dinner car, but like the kind in Harry Potter where you've got your like four seats they face Towards each other, but you're closed in a I think they have Close to that if you're flying like Emirates or whatever Yeah, aren't there certain like when you're going internationally, I feel like I've seen

this, this might have been a dreamer made up, but where there's like an upper deck that's like a bar, like you're allowed to get out and walk around. That used to be, like I thought all 747s had stuff like that. To me the seat belts, they don't do a lot. You know what I mean? Like if you're, you might as well walk around and hang out and like. For the most part, yeah. Some turbulence, I know.

But they say that all turbulence is safe. Did you know that? Well not the turbulence where I've seen the footage of the people flying out of their seats and hitting the roof. Well that's capital T turbulence. Yeah. So just to be clear, you wouldn't have your own room

if you had to ride backwards. If I had to fly backwards I just I physically would be unable to do it, but that is I'm I'm I refuse to believe side of Take off and landing because once you're in the air you don't know you have no idea what direction you're traveling You don't feel eyes are backwards. I just pressurized cap. It's not up for debate It's law science walk to the bathroom backwards next time Mike and see how that feels It's a pressurized cabin like if all the if all the windows are closed and they told you you weren't moving

Yeah, you couldn't tell you tell no Hmm, you can tell that you're moving. OK, you can tell that there's movement, but you can't tell which direction you're moving. This is very interesting. I don't know the answer to this. You just know it mentally. I'm telling you, I know I get sick. It's just like the, like if you go on simulation rides.

Yeah. And you're barely moving. And if you close your eyes, it's better. But I still, I can't go on them anymore. With my eyes closed, I'm still I can't go on them anymore with my eyes closed I'm still gonna end up nauseating. I had the money to Get you on a flight Put you to sleep mid-flight have a crew come in and switch all the chairs backwards

Have you wake up keep flying get off the plane to be like boom you were flying backwards the whole flight That we would have to knock me out again for the landing. You got a shed to buy. No, I want you to see the landing. So you go, I was flying backwards that whole time? And then right before we land, I'd lift it. I'd go, hey, Mike, look out this window. Oh, my god.

And then you'd vomit everywhere. You got projectile everywhere. All right, Sealy from the website writes in, would you rather have to sell one of your organs or sell all of your possessions that cost over $300 and not be able to buy them again for two years? Possessions does not include a house, right? You still have a home.

Just to be clear, because it's been a minute, we've got two kidneys, right? Oh, yeah. So a kidney can go go uh-huh. Yep, you can give us got We've got one liver though, right? Yeah, you can donate part of your liver that that's what I think yours will grow back, but that doesn't count for this Wait, it grows back. Yeah, you grow back your liver is the one organ that will do that. Yeah, what's liver? Can you kill itself you can cut a little out every month. Thank goodness.

I ship out about a quarter of my liver a month. What? OK, here's the truth. This has to be amended, because the gallbladder's an organ. Get that thing out, no problem. Yeah. There you go. Done.

I still have an iPhone. Gallbladder is needed, though. Yeah, you still have some issues. There are people that I know that there are. It's no appendix. OK, append still have an iPhone. Gallbladder is needed though. Yeah, you still have some issues. There are people that, I know that there are. It's no appendix. Okay, appendix is an organ. You can't, yeah, I'm saying that one's out of here. You can't pick that one.

Then I would pick the gallbladder. I know that like. The gallbladder, people do have digestive issues afterwards. Yes, but many people don't after getting the gallbladder removed. And full-sized people. It's a mild, it's a mildly important organ. People get it removed all the time.

So you'd go gallbladder over one of your kidneys, right? Oh, for sure. Why do you need two kidneys? That's a good question. To make sure that everything's getting filtered properly? So I mean, if you have one kidney, are you filtering at a less efficient rate? Yeah, 50%.

Humans have two kidneys as a backup in case of kidney disease or injury to one kidney. That sounds like your body's pre-made to get rid of a kidney. With an insurance policy there. Yeah. Like, where are we? I would love to have two livers, man.

Okay. I guess that one's self-healing. Two hearts? That's what's up. Yeah, now we're talking. Imagine the amount of food we can eat as Americans if we had two hearts. But the 300 bucks is like your TVs are gone. Your phone.

And it says you can't rebuy it for a year. So you live with that? No. That amount of money. There are so many things I can get rid of inside of me. And every organ I get rid of, I lose weight. It's absolute guaranteed I'm losing weight. Temporarily.

Sure, I'll gain it back, but I'm just saying, the bigger the organ, the more that scale's going to give a smaller number, right? Yeah. I mean, are you ditching a lung then? No. I don't think you can get rid of a whole lung. You can only get rid of a lo I don't think you can get rid of a whole lung. You can only get rid of a lobe, right?

You can get rid of a whole lung. Really? I mean, not both. That's what I hear. What's the heaviest organ? I'm all about weight loss here. OK. Oh, shoot.

It's the skin. Oh, that old trick. Your epidermis is showing. Yeah. You're not removing that. Probably muscle, reality. Anyways, yeah, take my gallbladder. Honestly, take a kidney if I have to.

I need a phone. To answer the question, though. Okay, so you just did then. You're saying you'd do gallbladder and then keep your possessions. Correct. Would you do that if the choice was kidney or no kidney? Would you sell the possessions and?

No, I would get rid of a kidney. You'd get rid of a kidney. Because I, look, you just have to move into the woods or something. You can donate kidneys to another person, right? Yes, that's what I'm saying. I'm not taking this and throwing it away. Genuine question, can you have two different kidneys?

Because most people need a donation when their kidneys are bad and they get my kidney. But could I give my kidney to Mike, Mike give his to you, you give yours to me. And we're all- That's not even a loophole, that's a triangle hole. As long as, you have to be compatible though. That's why- Are you telling me you would take my kidney?

You 100% have to have the same, the blood type- Is it blood type? Yeah. There's a compatibility issue where that's like, where often family members are able to- What is the blood type. Is it blood type? Yeah. There's a compatibility issue where that's like, where often family members are able to get it. What is your blood type? Sh. Ha ha ha ha ha.

You don't know. Come on. No one knows. I know mine. No. No you don't. No. Deuces Alley, anybody back?

I guarantee you Al knows his blood type. Al knows his blood type. I do. What are you? O negative. OK. Anybody over there? No idea.

Yeah. So two people in the room know the blood type. That's a guest guest goose for you. There's two hypochondriacs always looking at their health vitals who know their blood type. No one else knows. I've been looking at blood. Mine smells like metal. All that's what I could tell you all the time. I have no idea. I don't even know where I could find that out. Like I get blood reports, lab reports all the time. It does. You know, it's like, Oh, my a one C my, my triglycerides. I don't even know where I could find that out. Like I get blood reports, lab reports all the time. It's like, oh, my A1C, my triglycerides. They don't tell me my blood type.

What blood type do I look like I have? A positive. Now that's a good question. A positive. A positive for sure. For sure. I am 100% A positive. Oh, you look like it.

That is a, did you know that? No, I didn't know that, but you're type A plus plus. I'm putting Jason as, can you're type A plus plus. I'm putting Jason as, can you be O positive? I think you can be. You got that for sure. For sure, man, look at me. O positive squared.

I am O positive. Dude, that is my blood type. I don't know that for sure. That is the most common blood type with about 38% of the population having it. Oh man. Has what? O positive.

They always want you to have like medical information on you, to me, if I'm bleeding out somewhere. I know they can do a quick test, but don't I need that time? How fast can they get your blood type before they start giving me more blood? What do you mean? I don't know.

I'm saying you get in an accident, right? Let's just hypothetical, you're flying in a plane backwards. Yeah crashes Uh-huh, you're alive. You're bleeding out. Okay, they're taking you to the hospital. You need blood transfusion time save this man's life You don't know your blood type. No one in your family knows it The time between that and knowing it and getting you blood now Do they just give you universal blood at that point? Is there universal blood? Yes, there is. Yeah O right? Yeah O. Just O? No positive? I believe just O. Yeah there's O positive and O negative. O positive and O negative I believe are universal blood types. All the O's. So the majority of blood is O positive and O positive is universal so if you had to take a shot you just go you go yeah there's a

good chance this works and then you put the blood. O positive's 38%, A positive, yours truly, 34%. And then the rest of them, B positive, O negative, A negative, all those, 97632%. The rarest blood, AB negative. That's Falcon for sure. Now, when we were naming blood types. The rare bird. We're naming blood types.

This one, we got it. OK, A. We got positive and negative. OK, that makes sense. This other one's a little different. Let's go B. Yeah. Positive, negative. OK.

And then let's go AB. Yeah, you're like, it's kind of like a little diffusion of the boat. This one is very different. What should we call it? O. O what? What if he was thinking? Type C. What should we call it? Oh What if he was

Mike always finds it interesting to analyze the way things. All right jokes are done. I have a serious genuine question Okay, we will not be funny. How do I, how do I find out my blood type? Like I'm looking at all my lab. You can get a test. Triglycerides, cholesterol. Well they don't check it every time you get your blood done. I've got like a million blood type like panels from my history and my Mayo clinic. I can look at everything and I promise my blood type's not in here. Just ask them though.

Ask who? Your doctor. I don't just see my doctor every day. No, but when you go for blood, the next time your doctor asks, say, I'd also like to know my blood type. Okay, so you can search in the test results, years and years of test results. They're never giving you a blood, they don't like, and your cholesterol, oh, looks like your blood type's still the same. If I search A1C, May 7, 2024, November 17, 2020, October 14, 2019, if I search blood type or just type, never

been done. That's not a test. It's not like a, oh, but if it's so important. Shouldn't that be in my medical records? People are wearing bracelets with their blood type. No, they're not. Did they sell them? Health record. If you have one of those health alert things, it's got your blood type on it. I don't know why you're searching your blood record, because unless you ask them to do that, they're never going to do it.

They don't care. Sounds like they don't care. Then it doesn't matter. They're saying your blood type doesn't matter. You're not getting tested for lots of things right now that you may need one day. That doesn't mean it doesn't matter. You don't know that.

You are getting tested. I'm getting tested for everything. But blood is just one of those things you may need one day. That doesn't mean it doesn't matter. You don't know that. You are getting tested. I'm getting tested for everything. But blood is just one of those things you might need. Is it in my DNA report? No. Oh darn, man. This is an impossible thing to find out. I am gonna-

But how did you get yours tested? And you said, hey doctor, I wanna know my blood type. He looked in the mirror. My mother- Right, okay Jeremy, how did you find yours? My mom already knew it. Same with mine. Yeah. So this is just, Jeremy, how did you find yours? My mom already knew it. Same with mine. Yeah.

So this is just your mom's told you this and it was so important to you, you remembered it forever? Yeah. Mine's the universal blood type, so it's easy to remember. Where are they getting this information? $9.99 on Amazon, delivered tonight. You can get it done. Yeah, but then he is just like, that's gotta be a finger.

It's a finger prayer. Okay. If you're not, $9 and a little owie. Yeah, if it was $9 and no owie, I'm in. Results in minutes, you don't send it in or nothing. There's no saliva test that can tell you my blood type? No, that, you can tell you saliva type. You can probably bite down on your tongue.

I'm surprised, genuinely, that your DNA cannot tell you what type of blood that person with that DNA has. That's very not surprising to me. Really? Yeah. It's not blood. Well I know it's not blood but your DNA can tell you things that aren't just DNA like it tell you all sorts of things about you. It won't tell you whether you got a mustache. I can't tell you your blood type. I won't tell you whether you got a mustache. What? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.

It would probably tell you. Michael's nodding with me. Well, then I realized, it probably in your DNA is like, will you be able to grow a mustache? That's probably coded in there. But blood type, no. Because no one cares. Your parents let you down.

Maybe. Boom! Yes, DNA can be used to determine a person's blood type. Eat crow, you losers. Maybe. Yes. Oh yeah. I can be used to determine a person's blood type. Crow losers. Go get it. Well I don't know mine. I googled. Can you tell your blood type from DNA. And yes you can. I've got 23 and me somewhere. I'm a long end and then like or nine dollars on Amazon. You know a fingerprint you've left out the alley part. I'm not doing the alley part. That's why I'll do the saliva if it was $30 Would you rather spend $30 on a saliva test or $8 on an owie test?

It's pretty easy to be huh would you pick the blood test? I would those don't bother me Yeah, that's not I'm not saying it's a thousand bucks. I'm just saying it's like you know It's an extra. It's a $20 bill to not have to prick your finger. Yeah, but it's also like a it's a thousand bucks I'm just saying it's like you know it's an extra it's a twenty dollar bill to not have to prick your finger yeah but it's also like a it's a man test well all right that's a new fail that f-minus is my blood type okay we're gonna take a break and we're gonna jump into some guess guess goose Goose. Hey, Spitwads, and I'm talking to you renters out there. Have you ever felt like you're stuck in the loop of rental payments, just watching your

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Make sure to use our URL so that they know we sent you join built.com slash ballers to start earning points with your rent payments today. What time is it game time? All right. Apparently I'm the upgrade don't forget your goose where the goose oh you're going goose on the hat nope goose on the hair all right we're playing gas gas goose owl Barlin can you explain the game for everyone please no and your your blood type. You can't explain it? No.

Okay, well let's go to the draft. Can anyone explain this game? Where am I? Well I've got a goose on my head. And is this the one where we polled people? Yes. Okay. So we're asking silly questions have been asked

and we have to guess what percentage of people are in answer to the question. I was gonna say yes or no, but no, they are the answer to the question. So- Al, you're gonna get fired. Yeah, why didn't you just, like you're the producer. Why are you not doing this?

It was an epic fail. I thought you were setting me up. Last time I tried to explain this, I stumbled all over the place. We don't remember that, I don't care. You don't remember yesterday. Alright three points if you get the percentage exactly correct two points If you the guesser are correct within five points in each direction of the correct percentage and one point For the people that are not guessing if they correctly guess higher or lower than the guesser You'll catch on as we play.

Okay, I am desperately trying to find my blood type here. Oh my gosh. What? I have, we already did, it's O positive. I have logged, I want to confirm it. I've logged into 23andMe, I can't find it, but I know that, you know, whatever. Well Google tells you you can grab it real quick from your DNA, so no big deal. Exactly.

So I go to the search, they got a search in there, and I type blood type. And it says on the drop down menu, what is your blood type? So I click on that and then guess what I get? They're asking you. Money, money. No, no, no, I get a survey that says, what is your blood type? And it's got all the types listed.

I'm like, I'm asking you, why are you asking me what my blood type is? You have my DNA. Why don't you just tell me? Because that's how they're figuring it out. Not a joke, that's how they figure it out. They survey millions of people and based on their answers then they match up the DNA to see if the blood type's right.

Wow. All right, we're beginning. Am I going first? Yes, you're first. Jason, put your fingers down. Never. We're playing a game right now. Okay, what's the game?

All right, let's go, let's go. We're gonna have a great time. What percentage of people own corn holders? So you're talking about corn on the cob, the pieces that go on the end of them. What percentage of people own them? I feel like this is related to your blood type as well. I'm gonna say.

Wait, wait for the guys, are you locked in on higher or lower? I've written down my, oh wait, we can't log, we. I'm gonna say wait wait for the guys that are you locked in on higher or lower? I've written down my Well, wait, we can't log. I'm an idiot, dude He's self-sabotage there hi, I'm gonna guess higher I'm gonna I'm gonna lock in lower now, what's your number? And I'm a moron keep going. Um, I have to lock my number in 1% Jason loses. I think the percentage of people that own corn holders is 53%. Oh okay okay then I've got my this I believe that this number goes down each each and every single year. It is probably the corner

holders are leaving the earth. That's probably true It's much it's very much something that I would guess we wait what when we were good corn holders, of course I have how do you eat corn on the cob without corn holders corn on the corn? I I use nature's corn corn holders. You are not cooking that thing Let's just be clear here. It's 100% of the time that it's better to have used them. Yes. It's always more, it's a better experience. Always better. I'm going lower.

I'm going higher. 53% is the number. I would have guessed 70%. The correct answer is exactly 50%. Wow. Okay, is that good? Wait, that means he gets points and we get none no no no no no no what's this? We I get a point wait

What'd you guess and he gets two points for being within 53%? Darn and then Mike gets a point incorrect. What a great start from the guy wearing the goose on his head. Yeah, that's solid Can we quit now 70%? Get out of here. Let me speak to 20% of you out there. If you're boiling corn for a long time for it to cook, it is scalding hot, and it is best eaten scalding hot. You put the corn holders in the side, and then you put a stick of butter out on the counter.

You roll it on that butter. You put it in that mouth. Fingers not burnt. It's delightful. I'm not debating it. It's delightful. It's I'm not debating I just to Mike's point our parents generation was gotta be 75 It would have been up to the 70s for sure the question was what percentage of corn holders are Cute little corn looking. Oh, that was a 0% at my house. That was Mickey and Minnie Mouse. Okay Again, I would have gone 70% there was a time when you could give those as a wedding gift that's not

happening no more. All right. So you you forced the corn to be eaten by other tiny little you're holding on to tiny little corn things? It's as cute as Mickey and Minnie. Oh man. Mike you're up and I'm up in terms of points. Okay what percentage of people can confidently explain the difference between a macchiato and a latte? Oh Number step one am I saying macchiato correctly? Yeah, it's not a machiato So who can confidently Percentage of people can confidently explain the death. I will go. Wait, Mike has to set the line, right? No, you need to lock in over under first.

I am going to say the percentage of people that explain the difference, I am gonna go 35%. Okay. Okay. I'm locked. I'm locked as well. Under. I'm under as well. I thought it would be about 20%. I really wanted to say 25, but I thought it was gonna be about 20%. I think it's 13. I was gonna get laughed out the room. No, no, no, I think it as well. Under. I'm under as well. I thought it would be about 23%. I really wanted to say 25, but I thought Bill was going to get laughed out the room.

No, no, no. I think it's lower. Well, wait. Before you reveal, who in this room can confidently say what the difference between a latte and a macchiato is? I know a latte. Little baby is... The family is saying yeah.

That's it. Everyone else is no. Okay, so we got one in six here. That's why 13% is my answer. Yeah, oh man. What's the answer? I'm too high. The correct answer was 14%. Oh! All right. Yeah, oh man. What's the answer? I'm too high.

The correct answer was 14%. Oh! Wait, do I get Jason? No, you don't get a bonus. We both get a point. You get the point. But I don't get a bonus for being within 5%. No.

That's two in a row though, guys. Two in a row. I know these, I know my people, the world. Okay. So we're sitting with Andy at one, Mike at one, I I'm sorry any three Mike at one Jason at one. All right my question here What percentage of people? Have televisions in their bedroom. Hmm

this this Tough this one's interesting because I know there's people out there that don't There there was a time when we were growing up where that was a huge novelty Yeah, that's that's the corn cob they hold her They cost so much and it was also just like kind of parents didn't want their kids to have the TVs in the room I Mean that you know now it's a little bit like I'm like is this an every bedroom because it's your bedrooms plural no All right, I'm gonna go 72 and a half wait

Because I want to get it perfect, I'm gonna go 72 and a half. Wait, because I wanna get it perfect. I'm gonna go 72%. 72%. It's a good guess, I think. What percentage of people have televisions in their bedrooms? Going higher. I'm going higher. I'm going to take you higher.

You're gonna have zero points awarded this round. The correct answer was 63%. Wow. Interesting, interesting. A lot of elderly still living. I should get a point for being closest. 63? It's not how the game works.

Correct, 63. Okay, just out of curiosity, in this office, we have six people. 100%. Raise your hand if you have a TV in your bedroom. Yeah. Wait, Josh does it? First of all, that's not called raising your hand. Do sir. Put in a little effort. Hold on. No, it is. The bigger thing is Josh is saying he does it. I know

you were right. Andy. I just want you to say there's a lot of old people. It's elderly. Yeah. The elderly don't have TVs and you have one L we do now but we didn't for a long time. We just put one in there. But how do you watch TV at night? We don't. But how do you know they do though? Yeah. We still don't. But how do you? Now they do, though. Yeah, I mean, you do it. No, we still don't. The irony is if you had- It was just an empty wall that needed something.

If you had skipped- What? If you had skipped the phase of when people were doing that, you could do without it now because of phones and iPads. Like, if you just wanted to watch a show, you could just watch it on your phone. How do you fall asleep without the TV? What are you doing? I don't know. I don't know if we want to- I don't know if you fall asleep without the TV? What are you doing?

I don't know how you fall asleep with a TV. Yeah. Well, you just have it on and then you close your eyes. Yeah, that's how I do it. All right. And you feel safe. 311, no points on that one. I'm up with the second round.

What percentage of people currently have at least one sticker on their car? Oh man. That's. What percentage of people are losers? Whoa. Just kidding, just kidding. We sell stickers.

Footballers, we sell footballers stickers, Jason. My dad has a sticker of our show on his car. Yeah, mine too. That's a winner. Okay. So at least one sticker, I feel like a one sticker person, I don't judge you. If you're more than one sticker,

look, tell your friends about the things you like. Don't tell me. Honestly, and on the window, it is far more forgivable now than bumper sticker. I have a number. 100%, bumper stickers ruin cars. Yeah. I don't know how there's still a thing.

All right, I've got a number. I have zero confidence in it. My number is 22% of people. Oh man lock it in. I'm going higher Wow Going higher Jason's supposed to have been locked. I don't even care. I'm so confident Wow, he's confident. So should I go with that? I'm gonna go You go with your heart. I'm gonna go with my heart I think the most would be one in five one in five cars that I said would be lower that would be lower All right, Andy really doesn't want to wear that goose next time the correct answer is 24%

So Andy gets to Mike gets one Jason gets let's say it go. I'm gonna be a goose. Let's go Legendary goose things going on both the years were within 3% That is impressive. Very, very happy with that. Also me squeaking these out over to Jason. So we got Andy with five, Mike with two, Jason with one. What an idiot. All right.

What percentage of people will not say anything to strangers in elevators unless the strangers speak first? So how many upstanding citizens of the world are there? So it should be 100%. Read it again. What percent? There would be no conversations ever then.

In an elevator. Yeah, I know. Yeah. There would never be a conversation if they're all like you. There'll be. Wait, is this a conversation or just what was the word? What percentage of people will not say anything to strangers in elevators unless the stranger speak first?

Good morning. Okay, what percentage will not? What percentage will not? Have a good day on the way out. Do you do that? Most of the time, that's when people say stuff, by the way. It's on the exit, have a good one. Oh, that's way worse.

No, it's a super common thing. No, because you can't have a conversation. It's better. I get it, but that's still weird. Take, it's a super common thing. No, because you can't have a conversation. It's better. I get it, but that's still weird. You're leaving. Take care. Have a good one. I say, it was me.

All right, what percentage of people will not see anything? I am going to put it low. We're going to go, how low is that number? Let's go 18%. All right, so Jason, do you have yours locked in? No, do you? Yeah. What is it? You're gonna answer first.

I think it's gonna be higher, but I feel like his number is so low that you're gonna also go higher, and the only chance I have is being different. So I'm going to go lower. My number is 15. I'm going lower. Oh, damn it. The correct answer is 78%. Well, not that's a lie. Like I don't. Yeah, that's a lie. I

don't go into because I will. I will do the morning. Yeah, exactly. I don't go into an elevator and be like you do that. I'm I'm willing to okay, okay I like that about you, and if Mike is willing to that's why I went so low that no points in that is correct perfect I'm locked into the victory Jason you finish this up with your final crap. Oh crap. It's you two. Yeah, you gotta get the goose You got to be within five. All right. Oh crap. It's you two. Yeah you gotta get the goose. You gotta be within five. Alright. Alright here we go. What percentage of people drink water

straight from the tap when at home? Oh boy. What percentage of people are animals? That's what I'm thinking. Like why I imagine that their mouth is on it. You know what I I mean like the people that drink water that filled it they don't fill a glass up with their tap they just put their mouth and they're not trying to catch it as it falls to the drain they're trying to suck it out they are their whole mouth is over the nozzle then they turn it on and they probably let it drain out and fall over my I was reading this question way different as more of just like who is willing to drink

the tap water. That's what it is. That is the question. Okay, all right. No, no, no. Jase is just picturing those people as mouth breathers. All right. What percentage of people drink water straight from the tap when at home?

I'm going to say it's disgustingly way more than I think. I'm going to go 45%. Oh, man. It's disgustingly way more than I think. I'm going to go 45%. Oh, man. What a bad guess. Thank you. What a bad guess. Now, if you're within 5%, you could win and make Mike the Goose.

For real? Not beat me, but make Mike the Goose. Hold on. I just got to finish not last. So yeah, so if he gets it right and I don't, he goes up by one. If I get it right, we tie. Yeah, and there's another... That's fine, because I'm going higher.

I'm going higher. Us Arizona folk don't understand that, like, the rest of the country can drink delicious, refreshing tap water. I'm going lower. It is higher. The correct answer is 56%. Yes! Yes!

Gross. Hunk! So Jason will be wearing that hat next time yeah oh boy I'm happy explaining the rules yeah yeah for sure that's part of it I like it all right we're taking a break we're getting into the draft The Spitballers Draft. Alright, today we are drafting the best pets for a supervillain to have. Okay, so this is when you picture a supervillain. You can picture them with various

What do you call it just pets right? Yeah an animal that lives like a little sidekick that makes them seem more ominous or scary or mm-hmm yep, so I Don't like having the number one pick here because I have I Just feel like there's probably a common answer that maybe I don't love I Think ultimately when I pick the first thing I pictured for an evil supervillain was they kind of Stroking a cat. Yes cat is the easy 101. I mean, to be more clear, it's a hairless cat. Hairless cat, for sure. Just the gentle, there's something that's-

It doesn't have to be hairless. It doesn't have to, but that's what I would've picked. The juxtaposition between the cadence of a supervillain talking and then just, yes, yes, I will destroy the world. Well, if you think about dog people versus cat people, it's like a good versus evil. Right. You know what I mean?

And just cats versus dogs. The cat's like, wait, we're going to burn it down? Sweet. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, the attitude of the cat. Can I tear it up first? If you don't do it, I'm going to do it. I will push the button.

Agreed. Can we make sure the people are inside? I'm a cat. So I will go with cat with the 101, and I'm glad that that's a consensus pick. Yeah, cat is a great pick So I Felt like this is the 102. I'm second guessing myself, but I'm gonna stick with it. Anyways

Cuz if you're look if you're a supervillain In your lair you probably have an oversized aquarium. Oh, no So I will take the shark. Okay, yay. Oh, I had a different. Oh. I have a different one which I want right now and I'm gonna get, but that's not a bad pick. I'm taking the shark. I mean, the shark is awesome, right?

You're rich, you've taken a shark out of the ocean and said, you're my pet. I get that. Somehow the aquarium is like, it is the perception of money. Like if someone has a big aquarium, they could have this. I got a huge aquarium. Yeah, like this exotic animal that I know

costs so much money, but if you have an aquarium, you're like, that guy's loaded. Yeah. Yeah. I drive around one of those monster trucks with an aquarium in the back. Ooh, that's gonna make a mess. You have another water animal? I do, I feel like in.

I know what it is, man. It's in my office. They're swimming around in my office. And it's just an aquarium full of piranhas. Yes, okay. The piranha. The piranhas is on my list. You wanna know where that guy I got in the fight is?

In them piranhas' bellies. That's fair. I have disposed of them by feeding the aquarium. An evil super villain having control of an animal that's dangerous in general is a show of power as well. Yes. Like I've tamed a wild evil beast. Oh, he's not. The piranhas are not tamed. They're in my room. They're just there. They're in my room. Piranha's a great pick. Yeah, so next I'm looking at, there's a whole slew of, I've got the water, and now I'm going air.

I wanna a flying animal, okay? A flying piranha. And there's so many ways I could go. There's a lot on my list that I like, but when I really think about if I were the supervillain, if I was the one and I could pick the animal that shows I Can do anything I want. Mm-hmm. It's a bald eagle

It's an endangered bald eagle is my pet and he's standing up there and I can put my arm out He's gonna fly and perch right there. You have you have air and see Air and see okay. I have you have air and sea. Air and sea okay I thought you said air and sea which you also have. Correct. Okay you went bald eagle. Not the I mean not the bird I would have chose. No I'm going to take the bird that I would choose. So we're both going to air and sea? Yeah no you have a different water animal. I'm gonna go with the raven. Yes, I get that. The raven was on the list. You gotta have the big old,

that dark, scary, black, ominous bird. Oh man. Yeah, the dark bird. And I mean, the ravens, this is a Papa Josh question. The ravens protect the Tower of London. Am I remembering that? Yeah, that's correct. Yeah, because they're menace to society. All right. What does that mean, they protect the Tower of London? I I remembering that? Yeah, that's correct. Yeah, because they're menace to society.

All right. What does that mean, they protect the Tower of London? I've never heard that. So the Tower of London, there's a castle area and there's an area where they have ravens and they've always had ravens living here and it's part of their, somehow it's protecting them. Or it might be.

But is it tied into a super villain? Are there super villains that live there? You ever heard about the things that England has done to the world Nope Okay, you should look it up They're responsible for a lot of bad stuff You're up. All right. I'm gonna go with you're up Get it. I'm gonna go England joke

I'm gonna go England joke So I liked it is good. It's good three. Yeah, I got all five sixths of us This one is very complimentary to being able to walk around and show like you guys have these big aquariums You got to bring the people you're intimidating into your lair. Why, I dangled him. I'm more versatile. Okay. I can go room to room, because I've got a snake around my neck. Oh yeah, yeah, snake is. So I'm gonna go with the snake.

That's a good one. And then for my next pick, this is, this is a power play as well, because I have, you've got the, I'm so intimidating that this animal listens to me, it's a wolf. I've got a wolf on a leash. I got a wolf on a leash and I'm walking around with it. If you had a wolf on a leash.

That's right. That would be, that'd be a very powerful bet. That's awesome. That's awesome. You'd be like, oh my gosh. A wolf off a leash would be even scarier. Well, no. Just trained by your side, like you can jump at me in that time. I let him off the leash if be even scarier. Just trained by your side, like you can jump at me

in that time. I let him off the leash if you've been bet. I haven't been bet. So you went wolf and you went snake. So to pair with my, what do I got? I got my shark, I got my raven. I'm going to take, I'm gonna go with a Komodo dragon.

Just a giant lizard. Yeah, I don't mind that. That if you're a small child, you should stay away. Because my giant lizard could probably reach it. Is that the kind that are like, you can't carry it? They're that big? A Komodo? No.

I mean, they- It's not a lizard. It's a dragon. It's the kind from the Galapagos, right? Oh, that I don't know. You don't know that? No, they're not Galapagos. They? Oh, that I don't know. You don't know that? No, they're not Galapagos. They're in more places.

Komodo? They're from Komodo. No, no, they're not. Yeah, that's what I think. They're from Komodo. That song by the Beach Boys. I got owl with that one. Where are they from?

The islands of Komodo. Yeah! There it is. There it is. What the heck's in the Galapagos? The turtles! Really? And the pygmy elephants, right? No, Komodo dragons do not live on the Galapagos Islands. They're native to Indonesia. Oh yeah, and Matt brought the iguanas. The iguanas? Oh! I was picturing iguana, yeah. Yeah, they're the ones that go and they swim and they eat the moss at the bottom. Jason, you have two picks. I have two picks and I was going to take Komodo Dragon for sure.

For sure. I mean that is nature's monster. You know what I mean? There's nothing that is more of an actual monster than the Komodo Dragon. I'm going to take an albino python. If you get a big white snake. He did snake. I already got a snake, bro.

Oh, I wasn't listening. I've been looking up my blood type this whole time. He said snake. I repeated the picks that he made. I wasn't listening to you. I barely heard Komodo dragon, man. Let me explain something to Yeah. I wasn't listening to you. I barely heard Komodo Dragon, man. Let me explain something to you. Let me explain something to you.

The only way that I can tell. Are you not ready for this? No. The only way I can tell is on my 23andMe, I have to search RS8176746 and see if I got GG. I got GG. So then I go to RS8176746 and see what kind of my genetics say on that and it and it's not working I can't find out my blood type nine dollars and 99 cents available by this evening with an owie

All right So with Komodo dragon and obviously a snake you're off the list. I have tons of great options and I think the first great option I'm going to go with is It's it's not as cool as a wolf So now by no Wait aren't wolves usually like white colored, but they're not Albinos means that there's no pig man. This was just not as good. I don't want that that's sting You have to make two. I know this want that. That stinks. Well, you have to make two.

I know, this really stinks. I am going to go. A bug. I'm gonna go with a giant centipede. Similar to, similar to my piranha. Okay. What? Dude, have you seen a giant centipede? I have.

They're both terrifying and deadly. Are you handling it? No, I'm not handling. It's just am I handling my piranha No great big but I mean like if you just if I went into some guys houses like look at that cage over there with The centipede like you you like insects, huh? If if the supervillain had a Giant centipede and had confiscated my shoes Then I might be a little bit concerned. Yeah, that would be a concern. Well, yeah, I mean, shoes off the door.

However, if I have two weapons on my feet that can eliminate this bug, I'll be all right. I just grabbed a branch, okay? And I've got this little branch, and I stick it down into this aquarium, and my little pet centipede, my big giant pet centipede, he crawls on this branch, and now I'm just walking over towards you just having a conversation. He's getting bit by his own centipede.

This crawler, this is my... You have to make another pick embarrassingly enough. All right. Well, in that case, I'm going to get something great. I mean, you guys aren't going to see this coming at all because you're going to be like, whoa, what a pick. We won't see your centipede coming either because it's not very big.

It's giant. It's a giant centipede. I see it. It could be a foot long. Yeah. Think about a subway, all right? Sandwich? Yes.

Those are like 10. OK, but they're big for a bug, right? If you saw a bug that size. OK, I'm going to take a poor man's Komodo dragon, give me the crocodile. Okay, a crocodile's not a poor man's anything. Oh, for sure it is. You put a crocodile against a Komodo dragon.

I don't see how a crocodile could ever win. It's about intimidation. Like if you walk in with a crocodile on a leash, that's a good pick. I mean, literally, what did I just write down right here? I don't know. Gator. Yeah, I mean, that was gonna be the next pick.

You made a great pick. Okay, all right, thank you. You talking about my centipede? It's literally a huge step up, literally and figuratively, from the centipede. Dude, my centipede's gonna kill y'all. That was a tilt pick after the albino. I didn't, I wanna know my blood type.

I know, it just, I can't believe it's this hard to find. There should be a whole podcast chasing just actively looking. Yeah, it's hard to find. Okay, am I back up? You're back up. You have a shark, a raven, and a Komodo dragon. I'll take a tiger.

Yeah, a tiger's on the list. Would you like to make a white tiger? Over a centipede? Just barely, just barely. Would you like to make it a white tiger? Just barely. Would you like to make it a white tiger? No. That seems villainous though. That seems magicianist.

100%. That's a magician. It's got stripes though. Sigmund and Roy are going to do an illusion of some kind. I wasn't sure. I will make you disappear. Maybe that's my bit. That's what the tiger says. If history yes, the tiger is the real magician there. Well, then look my fun. I'm gonna He just he did his own magic trick the tiger sure did

I'm gonna make your show go away. I will go with a hyena. Oh, that's a good That's not on my list. That's not on my list either. That's a great pick. Hyenas are like, some animals just look evil to begin with. I mean, Scar from The Lion King has a pet, despite being an animal, he has a pet as a supervillain, and it's hyenas. Yeah, and look, so I'll close it out. Cat, snake, wolf hyena, Mike with shark, raven, Komodo dragon, and tiger, very powerful.

Jason with the piranha bald eagle, the giant centipede, and the crocodile. Dude, what a great team. Land, air, sea, and ground. I did have this animal that I didn't feel like I could pick, but I think of with evil. Land and ground? Yeah, land is like you've got enough space.

The ground is just for bugs. A doberman pincher to me always, I think of that. Yep. I had a bat. I had a bat. I was close to a bat. I was going to do the bulldog, but it's like, you got a wolf. A bulldog?

A pit bull. A bulldog. Oh, no. Here comes the cuddly, just wrinkled-filled dog. Oh, look. He's licking his nose again. Thought about the panther, too, but the tiger's. Panther was on my list. I look he's licking his nose again. Thought about the panther too but the tiger's... Panther was on my list.

I mean it's cause it's dark. Yeah. It's scary. And I wanted to just do a real dragon. A dragon. Just like a real dragon. A dragon was the number one thing on my list but I figured you guys would not allow it since it's not real.

Well we just kept it all to real animals and insects. Alright. real we kept it all to real animals and insects all right what did we learn today not Jason's blood type oh my gosh I learned that I want to know my blood type very much patience of this man I learned I know someone who has an airplane as a top three place to take a dump oh what, what a disgusting friend. It's so weird. We learned that Mike can't ride backwards in an airplane. No. Or so he thinks.

Yeah, we learned he thinks he can. He sure can. No, I cannot. Thanks for listening. Goodbye. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to,

check out spitballerspod.com.