Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 306: Golden Geese & Best Places to Have a Private Party - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: November 4, 2024

On today’s episode we discuss the merits and measurements of golden geese, figure out what to do with yard poopers in Life Advice and wrap things up with a Best Places to Host a Private Party Draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason. Jason He makes me so happy. He's not impervious to mistakes. Oh wait, I missed. Oh, nope. Did you guys see the most recent failure of the Star Spangled Banner? Did you catch this? We had another one? We had a disaster.

Of that proportion? Did they just stop? Oh yeah, she messed up a note in the middle of it, and then she used some language Mike yeah, oh she goes. Oh, I messed it up. Oh, oh, oh no, and then she resumes Then she gets to another part that she starts to mess up. Oh no. Oh, oh no. I'm so nervous Oh, no, and then she could is gone, and then she finished it so I don't know if later on your yeah She asked if she can restart but it was live you can hear them going is live and then she's going outside of

pissing your pants In that moment, I don't know that you can do much worse That's like my you know my kids do theater. I did theater growing up There's always the thing of like if you forget your or whatever, you just gotta kinda go on. What happened with your scat was the equivalent of, like, I don't remember my line, and you run off stage. You're like, nope. What Ashley Simpson did the... Oh, yes. I just did an Irish jig off the side. But this poor, that poor woman, that makes me feel so bad, but also, like, what? I'm trying to think, how do you phrase the question?

As a musician, right, I know that there's a little, like you can get like, hey, I'm singing the anthem to open the Super Bowl. Okay, that one I get. There's so many eyes on you. That's massive publicity, but like for... Oh, you're saying upside. What's the upside?

For most people, yeah, what do you stand to gain except for at the end of it, you're like, thank God I made it through and that is done. Oh no, there's some, I mean, that is, that's an all time achievement award. That's like, what do you stand to gain at throwing out a ball at the beginning of a baseball game? You can mess up. You can go out there and you can throw out the first pitch It's like I can screw up the best-case scenarios. I just complete it

But the thing is is I say I got to throw out the first pitch. You know what you wouldn't do that And you wouldn't like turn your life upside down to go throw the first pitch out at a single a baseball game You do it at an MLB game. Oh, of course I'm way too big first. Come on, man. But this singer was some C-span political event that she's the one singing for. I'm just saying, do you get to trade in, can you trade in five small performances

for one medium performance? And can you do five mediums to get to a ballgame and five ballgames for the Super Bowl? Or what? How does that work? It's an incredibly, if you don't sing, It's a hard song to sing. do five mediums to get to a ballgame and five ballgames for the Super Bowl or what? How does that work? It's an incredibly, if you don't sing, it's an incredibly difficult song and having to do it in a cappella scared out of your mind and you're in a, I mean, you might be in an

uncontrolled environment for what, how are you hearing yourself? Things can go wrong. They're saying there is very little to gain. And if you're at a ball game, the speakers are always delayed. Exactly. You're getting the slap back of the sound. You've got to nail it with a monitor, right? I mean. Oh, yeah.

I assume most of them have in-ears. But just overall, like. Oh, no. I messed up. The down. I guess there's some upside. But I'm weighing. Everything is risk reward.

The risk of something going really wrong is so much higher than something going right, and then a good benefit to your life. You could 4D chess the thing and mess it up on purpose and get this kind of publicity. Oh yeah, catapult yourself to whatever kind of fame you can grasp, but I've always wondered this. It's been a genuine question.

All the people, the halftime performer or the national anthem singer, they gotta get free tickets to the event, right? They're not just like, okay, you come in through the back door and then you leave and you don't get to watch. That's a good question. Oh, you think they do it for the ticket. But I'm wondering what that ticket is,

because could you imagine if it's like super nosebleed and you go down you Came nosebleed you sing the national anthem. Yeah, it's based off of how good you do You're up there in this they've got we've got 12 seats Yeah, I'm top to bottom and you got 12 notes You got a hit so but but I feel like if I was in the cheap seats, the top row of the upper deck and whatever, and I'm at this game or whatnot, and then about five minutes after the game starts, comes walking up

the person who sang the national anthem and comes and sits next to me, I'd be like, oh, man, they did you dirty. That's true. You did really good. Oh, okay. You did really good I think the national anthem singing that must just be like one of the benchmarks of being a singer like if you have the opportunity to do that you do it because You're a singer for sure. Like I know my kids would love to sing the national anthem at a ball game any kind of

They don't like baseball because they're smart and they would When when when we had that, it was the COVID year. But we were actually supposed to throw out the first pitch at a Diamondback game. We were. The three of us. We were scheduled. And it was on the calendar and then COVID hit and our chance for publicity went out the door. But I thought many times, what can the three of us do to get on SportsCenter?

That's what my thought process was. It wasn't can we throw three strikes. It was, what can I do to get on Sports Center? What could we come up with? Throwing out the first pitch? I mean, we would have to do a full three students. The worst pitch is- I would swap the ball for a tomato.

You know what I mean? I'd get that ball, wind up reaching that pocket. It's not 1931, wind up right reaching that pocket 31 Okay an onion Better tomatoes tomatoes are old and class An old school thing to me my head. Yeah. All right moving forward was that a tomato? Would you rather just I see people throwing tomatoes at like old street performers in medieval times. Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

The dude is in the, I don't know what... The Marionette or... No, Josh, tell me about the... Your head and your hands are through the wood. The stalks. Stalks, yeah, you remember those. Yeah, you can... But... We turn to Josh for the medieval.

I feel like Josh is my Reign of Trivia guy. Yeah, that's fair. I feel when I think of tomatoes being thrown, I only think of Fozzie. Is that what his name is? Waka Waka? Waka Waka. Did he throw out tomatoes?

That's not medieval times. He is more like a banana cream pie. No, he's tomatoes. It's like always tomatoes. OK. I think. He got more like a banana banana cream pie. No he's tomatoes it's like always tomatoes. Okay he got that from the Middle Ages. All right would you rather Cedric from Patreon the local wizard just shortened Earth's back shortened Earth's years by one month so it's an 11 month year which month would you rather get rid of July or August? Oh So we okay that's weird. It's weird because you're naming two very similar months. Yeah why isn't this just which month would you get rid of? Or even

if it's like totally different seasons where it's like do you want to get rid of November or you know June and it's like oh yeah the hot or the cold this is like you want... This is our two months of Inferno in Arizona is July and August just pure. Yeah, it's doom from Or can we just combine them? Can we say both? That'd be great. Yes, please is the answer. I will say this For children. Those are the two months a month and a half that they have off from school. And they'd keep July.

So they would keep July and they'd get rid of August. July also has a national holiday, August has none. August for us, and this question is posed to us, the wizard isn't asking anyone, he's asking us three gentlemen, and man, August is a busy month for us. We go to five shows a week on the main footballers. Cut out of work a little early. Cut that out man that's a hard month. I don't know if the paychecks are gonna be the same without August.

That's a good point. Weather wise July is out for me. You would get rid of July? Yeah July. I feel like August is always worse. I think they're identical. I could not tell you which month is worse. I think July is hotter, slightly hotter. I mean we just had that run of. I was gonna say August is where you set the record you started in July. Yeah but the it's hotter in July to me and then but we still get our a bit of the monsoon weather so it it's humid and muggy in the desert but it's also 110 degrees. But it never actually rains. It never actually rains. I think the thing is by August you're just even more sick of it.

So you're just feeling the mental burden of nonstop heat in a place where human beings shouldn't live. July is technically one degree hotter. One degree hotter than August historically. But again- I thought you were saying August was worse. No, July. No, no, no. He was saying July. Oh, okay.

July's out. This is rather myopic. I mean, we're in Arizona. If you could just objectively, let's go for other reasons other than temperature. For a moment, let's examine. 12 months of the year, one of them's gotta go. Are there other pragmatic reasons?

Like obviously, if you ditched December, it'd be less expensive, you know whatever is a 30 30 day right dude I don't know I got it I didn't want to do the knuckles hold on hold on you know June and the knuckle trick where you count your yes yeah I know that that exists April May June July you got a oh wait no I got a knuckle to knuckle yeah

August it's August 31st they both have okay so I wanted to ask. There's six of us in this room, three do-sers, three real men here. How many of us know how to do the knuckle trick to count how many days? I do. Okay, so Mike and Andy both say they know how,

even though you just gave an example of, it seemed like you had no idea what you were doing. No, no, no. I said you gotta knuckle them together. He was saying double, but the way I do it is one hand, and I double count, or as in like, I go one direction, and then I start from the edge and go back.

Okay. So we're doing the same thing. But what's the point of your inquiry? I just was curious because I never learned that, and I see people do that to know how many days are in a month. It's not complicated. Put your fist together, you're done. You're done, you did it. I'm not done? I don't know what to count how many days are in a month. It's not complicated. Put your fist together. You're done.

You're done. You did it. I'm not done? I don't know what to count. You just count the knuckles. One, two, three, four. I see eight knuckles. January.

Start with the beginning of the year. The higher knuckle means 31 days. OK, so January would be 31. And then the lower means it's either 30 or, in February's case, 28. OK, so. It's the lower. But I've still got to know how many days are in that month. No you know. February because it's not that. That's the one. That's the one. This is not easy

gentlemen. Everything else is 30 or 31. Sure it is. I give up at two. Well sometimes you have 40. How old are you 50? You had 40 something years to learn how many days in February. I don't need any because I just go Hey Siri, how many days? Oh my gosh. I mean, why do you need to have Siri 15 years ago? I didn't know how many days or months 15 years ago. You know anything because we can find the information. No, that's legit. I know yes It is fully legit. You could have found stuff when you were a kid at with the encyclopedia But that would have taken work Andy. How well do you know your multiplication facts right now perfectly very well perfect perfectly

Okay, eight times six 48 That's correct seven times three. No, that's easy Trying to keep swinging up to 12. I'm pretty'm pretty good. But are you saying that it's important in today's day and age that you know your multiple case facts? It's helpful, yeah. It's kind of like a... If you have little bits of information all over the place,

it creates a web of what we call intelligence. Tell me more. And knowing things and being intelligent does aid you at times. Stay in school, kids. But use Siri if you need to. All right. Is there another reason to get rid of another month?

I have, those two, I have no other idea. I'd get rid of, if you want one, get rid of February. Then you know that every month is at least 30 or 31. Maybe that'll straighten it out for you. For that, but it's so nice here in February. Can we borrow a day? Can February like? Oh, can we... Why are some 30 and 31?

Take the double knuckles in the middle, make July and August just 30 each, and then February becomes 30. But then the knuckles don't work. No, you don't need the knuckles then. I mean... That's what I've been saying. You got Google. You don't need a knuckle trick.

Where am I and what time is it if we actually do some averaging out? Can you can you work it up so that it's like? We get February up to 30 and then a couple and then the three months in the summer have 31 or something You can do that mathematically work does anybody know nobody knows who made the months so we're not allowed to that was that was the Mayans The least popular month for tourism in the entire year. Do you want to know what that is? Is this in the United States? This is in the United States, the least popular month

for activities. Do you know the month? Can I guess? That is the inquiry. I would say September. OK, Mike, do you want to take your shot? That's a really good guess. Thanks, man.

September. Okay, Mike, do you want to take your shot? That's a really good guess. Thanks, man. January? It is January. Ha ha, my guess was better. People start, cold weather, Yeah, it's all new budgets.

Yeah. And people just spent money. Yeah, they just did all the Christmas travels. Oh, that's true, they can't leave, they've got a new routine. They're gonna stick with this year. All right, next question, Amanda from Twitter. Would you rather have Scooby-Doo or Brian Griffin as your family pet?

That is easy. Brian Griffin's the dog from Family Guy. That is easy. I mean. The talking one. Oh, they both talk. They both talk. One of them is. Annoying. Well, which one's annoying? That one. Oh, they both talk. One of them talk one of them is annoying Well, which one? That one. Oh, I mean scooby-doo. I don't understand how that cartoon was ever popular or enjoyed

The whole thing is I mean it might as well be Olden days door of the Explorer just so the characters are annoying. It's just not it's not a pleasurable cartoon Don't it on shaggy Zoinks? Yeah exactly. He's just annoying to me that those two they're supposed to be lovable and and funny Yeah, they are Yeah, it might be a lot of shirt. They're not funny. They're just not funny They're just in the world There are a handful of shows as a kid that were popular that I just didn't really understand why they were. Because Scooby-Doo is one of them. The Muppets are another one.

Well, Scooby-Doo was, we were, I think we were too old for Scooby-Doo. When did that actually stop? The original Scooby-Doo. So like Josh must have been into it. Yeah, for sure. Josh, did you like Scooby-Doo? It was OK.

Yeah. Yeah? OK. That's his way of saying, dude, I watch that every day. I think Scooby-Doo reruns were going on while our new cartoons, they were showing it to us. But for in terms of it wasn't funny, because that show was old. It might have been funny.

Humor changes. So there may have been a time that Scooby-Doo was funny to kids. That's fair. That's fair. Yeah, you know what happened? Ninja Turtles and Transformers showed up, and we're like, Scooby-Doo, this dude sucks. Things got funnier and then old funny was like, well that's lame.

And it's old. I mean, stuff for kids has to age rapidly. Yeah, okay. Well, I didn't really connect with either of these, so I guess I'll just take Scooby-Doo because I feel like he solves problems and I don't think Brian Griffin does that. Brian Griffin is a genius.

Yeah, he could probably make you feel real bad. About yourself? Yeah. Yeah, just a little. So I'll go Scooby. A little like a fake sophistication. I'll take Scooby out back behind the shed. All right.

Oh, come on. All right. I'm keeping Scooby. Eli from the website. That's a loyal companion dog. Jason, would you rather be able to collect the pot of gold at the end of any rainbow you see, or have a goose that lays golden eggs?

Oh, that is an easy goose. How many eggs does a goose lay per year? I would guess. And how big is a pot? Yeah, the pot of gold, that's right great question. It's not you know It takes time to drive to a place. It's gonna convert gold into money So I'm gonna if I have a goose dropping it. I can't spin the eggs at the store So I got to take the eggs to a gold conversion place right then turns them into money you want to know where?

the end of the rainbow is not on the roads it doesn't just end on an adventure you're good you've got to find it and it's way over there and but I mean and honestly I don't think you can ever get there I think that's the point like the way that the light works in this in this one you yes yes Jason you can't get to the bottom of a rainbow look up and see the rest of the that is 100% the point one you can. Yes, Jason. You can't get to the bottom of a rainbow and look up and see the rest of the. That is 100% the point is you can never actually get to the edge of a rainbow. Exactly.

Because it's just perspective where you're standing. And here, I'm going to throw this out there, Jake, because again, knowledge. I'm not sure that geese can lay golden eggs. So we're going to pretend both of them are true for this question. They do lay eggs. Here's the thing.

Let's say now I've got to invest in some off-road vehicle, right? I've got to buy something. Yeah, you've got to money in before you can get money out. Exactly. But then- But it's a pot. But that's the problem. I get there, right?

And there's this giant pot of gold. But what if it's not- How am I loading that up? How am I lifting that into my vehicle? With the vehicle. Buy the right vehicle. Yeah, you, what is it got? Bring a trailer. But you still gotta get it up off the ground.

You ever lifted a pot full of gold? Okay, hire a guy. You got a pot of gold, man. You're gonna need a trailer and you're gonna have to get a Bobcat. Exactly, yeah, you're gonna have to jack the thing up. But it's so much investment to get started. But I'm saying, we always say it's a pot of gold,

but then the legend, at least for us dumb Americans, oh, it's a leprechaun. Well, is it a pot of gold sized for a leprechaun? Because that would be a gold coin. Well, but you can pick it up. Yeah, that would not be a problem. I'll just put that thing in my pocket. That doesn't have value.

From what I understand from my very advanced research I just did if you assume that at the end of the rainbow there is a large cauldron that pot right it looks like a cauldron a pot according to my sources they think that would hold about 8,000 pounds of gold look yeah how are you getting that on the... So listen, the practical of getting that, that would be worth... I'm getting the current price of gold right now. Canadian geese. 245 million dollars of gold. Does that change your little, ooh I've got a little bit of an issue getting it to to sell it Canadian a little bit lay one One egg every one to two days during laying season is what I'm seeing

So says geese lay around 20 to 50 eggs per season Chinese geese can lay up to 90 to 100 eggs Okay per year. Okay. You ain't get no Chinese goose, man I'm getting a golden goose. It's got to be better I'm I think I'm gonna be good. I'm with the golden egg. I'm looking I'm looking into it a goose. It's got to be better. I'm I think I'm gonna be good with the golden egg. I'm looking I'm looking into it right now. Okay. Unfortunately I got the actual cost of a goose egg which is three to ten dollars. Hold on. How much is a goose? Or how big? I've got the density of it all. We gotta go volume into weight. Okay. Here we go. A goose egg is worth about $133,000.

Just a goose egg? That's a crop. I'm getting a goose. I gotta get a goose. I gotta get some geese, man. Dude, now I know how people... That's why they're so mean. I just told you those are three to $10.

This is $133,000 for a golden goose egg or $245 million. I only have to do the work. What? How many rainbows we get in per year? What's the rainbow per year in Arizona? One. I think you only get one rainbow. What? Al, Al, will you help us? I thought in this question, the question says every rainbow you see, but the math would, I would say we could alter the question to one rainbow, one rainbow or unlimited eggs, Bird in hand versus bird in the bush? OK, so then you've got to take these eggs. You got daily work or you got work one time?

I got daily excitement, man. I'm doing you. Whoa, is he going to lay one? Yep. Do you think? Maybe. No, I'd be opening that little egg crate and go, OK. All right, it would take 1,831 golden goose eggs

to equal the weight of the golden, the large cauldron. Okay. Okay, so like what? What's that, three or four years? 1,000. How many do they weigh? We'll just say 50. Or I mean, how many do they lay per year?

50 eggs per year. Yeah, let's go 50 eggs. Okay. This is why you learn how to do that. 36.62. Years. Years. why you learn how to do that. 36.62. Years. Years. Or as you said, a couple.

Couple years. Just a couple here and there. Thanks, Siri. I'm going to go with the rainbow. I'll take the rainbow. I'm going rainbow. All right. We'll take a break.

We'll get into some life advice. What's going on spit wads? We are such a sophisticated show. You know that about us and you cannot go wrong with a classic suit from Indochino with weddings, Tagalas, fall brings more opportunities to dress up and look nice like you know the three of us always do. Indochino makes it easy to get custom men's and women's wear that will turn heads with made to measure suits, dress shirts, blazers, and more.

We have been fans of Indochino and Indochino.com for a very long time, and we have been decked out for weddings in the past. You can browse their collection at Indochino.com. You can use the code BALLERS for 10% off orders of 3.99 or more. I got a suit jacket that has a galaxy on the inside. It is what I wore to Brooksie's wedding and it is spectacular. There is a ton you can browse over on Indochino.com,

the Fall, Winter Men's Wear or Women's Wear Collection. There are a bunch of styles that stand out. And this fall you can update your wardrobe to quintessential suiting elements with contemporary flair from Indochino. Visit Indochino.com and use the code BALLERS to get 10% off any purchase of $3.99 or more. That's 10% off at indochino.com. Promo code BALLERS. Ballers. I was searching for the button. I was looking.

I was looking for the button. I found it. Because we're getting serious. So I don't want to, you know, when we give- Not hit the button. When we give life advice, we want really take this show down a notch. This ain't about golden geese, this ain't about rainbows. It was.

It's about helping people. It's about helping people with everyday situations that are serious. And I think this is a good time that we do that. Yeah. So just stop laughing. We appreciate you writing in and sharing whatever difficulty you're going through.

We are here for you. And that's why we'll turn to Denise. All right. Denise, what can we help you with? This is probably hard for her to write in. Let me read you. Thank you for your bravery, Denise. My husband and I have been noticing frequent dog poop in our front yard.

Very serious. Oh, man. Front yard. Every time we remove it, another dump shows up. It's good that it's dog poop though. Now we don't have a dog. Denise doesn't have a dog. So we installed a ring cam to see where it's coming from.

Turns out it is our next door neighbor. Their dog? Their dog. We're going to assume their dog because it said it's dog poop. Every morning she walks out of her house right over to our grass where her dog poops in pee. Otherwise that ring video is a problem. They then continue on their morning walk. What is the best way to approach this? The neighbor has a poop habit with their own pet. Oh this is I feel like there's an easy first step. I

mean I don't know that it will solve your problem. Yeah, what would you do, Mr. Non-Confrontation? What I would do is anyone that is doing a daily dog walk in the morning, you know that that is at a time, right? There is a, you know, they wake up at six, they have their coffee. It's usually on a schedule. It's 6.30 is when they walk the dog. So I would look back day after day after day and say,

oh, they get there around 8.32 in the morning. So about 8.33 in the morning is when my sprink the dog. So I would look back day after day after day and say, oh, they get there around 8.32 in the morning. So about 8.33 in the morning is when my sprinklers be coming on. Oh. You know what I mean? Enjoy. You want to wet the poop then? No, before they get there.

Oh, that's maybe smarter. He did a minute after for some reason to wet the poop. I wanted to have the lady and the dog get soaked Well, it but is the lady going in the grass? motion sensor sprinklers Okay. All right. That's a better idea motion motion floodlights. Would that be enough? I guess not if it's bright outside But if it's still early in the morning, you know trying to to sneak that poop. You're in rare form today, Jay. Listen, this is not okay that your neighbors not.

If the neighbors dog does poop in the yard, pick it up yourself. Don't leave the poop for the owner of the yard to have to clean up. Could you install, you know, you go to like the little community field, there's always that like post with the dog disposal, it's got the little bags and the little trash can. Can you just install it? You can, but you're basically saying please poop here. I think if my dog was constantly doing that,

and then the next day I walk and I see that there. I'd be like, thank you. Oh, I would. Thanks for the convenient bag. I'd start, they don't want the bag, obviously. They want to leave it. Maybe they did. Maybe they can't afford it. Maybe they think they're doing something nice. Maybe they're like, the fertilizer, this helps the yard. If you don't clean the poop up, how many piles, like how big will the pile get? Because if the dog always poops there, will there be like two, three, four?

Yeah. There'll be multiple piles. And the neighbor will never clean it up. No, this neighbor is not a kind neighbor. So then you poop in their yard, alternatively. The petty thing to do is, you get yourself a good sized box. Yep.

You put every one of these dog poops in the box. And then holiday season rolls around. You wrap that thing up. Ding dong. See, I started out agreeing there's not the direction I was going. I said it was petty. But you just ring the doorbell.

You leave that box there. There's a lot of problem for yourself, though. You're hoarding poop for a season. No, don't hoard. Just use an instrument every day. Scoop it up with the little shovel, walk it five feet over, and turn it over. Well, but it might not be the next door neighbor.

It might be a neighbor from down the street. You know what I mean? Like, I don't want to walk down the street with poop. Well, then I'm tracking this person to find their house. Can you put little, like, mouse traps throughout the yard? Oh, that's cruel. That's not the dog's fault. It's my yard, bro.

But it's not the dog's fault. It's the human. Yeah. But it's not the dog's fault. It's the human. Yeah, it is the human. The dog's just doing dog business. Isn't there stuff you can spray on the yard to make the dog not want to be there? Yeah, but that doesn't work, in my experience. Rat poison works. OK.

Yeah, but I thought this wasn't the dog's fault. That's what Mike says. I just want a way to punish the dog's owner. Yes. I like the sprinklers. I think you just gotta make sure you're not just watering the poop after they're gone. If you sprinkle before they come and you soak the yard,

I don't think that the dog owner will want the dog going in there. There's no way though that this dog is pooping at the same time every day on the exact moment. It's gonna be pretty close though. I mean you're talking what, 15, 20 minute? Yeah, so back to my idea of the box. Okay, go on.

Because they're gonna bring it in the house and they're gonna open it. Oh you're wrapping it. Yes! I'm sorry, I didn't understand that Yes, holiday season rolls run I wrapped this thing up nice like a big present and they get Oh Secret Santa showed up. They're gonna bring it in They're gonna open it. It's gonna be poop

I don't know if you've ever had a bag of poop in your life Mike if you've cleaned up poop from your yard and you fill a bag and you got to take that up Just walking that bag to the dumpster is Barely doable If you're telling me that I'm going to sit with a box right in front of my lap and I'm going to, you know how long it takes me to wrap a package and I'm going to have to wrap that stinky box up? Not happening. You got to put the work in if you want to get them back.

I'm finding a whole new way to get them back. I'm putting something over the fence that has nothing to do with dogs. What if you burn their house down? That's real easy. I can't imagine letting my dog poop in someone's yard. No, that's horrific human being. Those people... Horrific.

...shouldn't be around. What if you just put a sign in your yard for a week, you just nail a little sign, it says, no dog poops allowed from bad neighbors. Huh? What if they think they're a good neighbor? Yeah, they definitely do. They're going to bypass a sign? But if it says bad neighbors.

So you just got to say no dog poops allowed? Or any poops. You could broaden that. No poops. There's got to be some way that we can collect all the bad people in all the neighborhoods and make them all live in one neighborhood together. They can all poop in each other's yards.

I mean, imagine the worst person in every neighborhood, all living together in a new neighborhood and filming it for television. I think, I think we're on this. I'm trying to find out if there's legal recourse. Well, you're not allowed to set booby traps. I know that's illegal. Really? Yes. Even on your own property? No, that's not illegal to set booby traps. I know that's illegal. Really? Yes. Even on your own property? No, that's not illegal.

I think it is. What if they're funny? Papa Josh says yes, because he's probably thought about it. Wait, what, like Home Alone style booby traps? You can't booby trap your property at all. Yes, you can. I mean, Home Alone style, well, like a paint can flying down and hitting them in the face?

Yeah, exactly. A little hot iron action. No, there's no way it's illegal to booby trap your house. I mean, you've seen this with political signs. Have you seen this? Oh yeah, where they electrify the political signs because people are stealing from the yard.

I saw one that was even more advanced. This person was on a main road and they had a sign that was within, like a car could easily turn to the right, run it over, and then go back, and they put strips to pop the tires. And people would go to run over this political sign. Good for them!

And then the person would end up popping their tires as they run over the sign. That should not be illegal. You wanna drive through my yard, you should have the tires popped. I'm on your side. I think to some degree, you should not be able to go in. Someone left a broken bottle there. What am I gonna do about it? I think to some degree you should not be able to go in someone left a broken bottle there

What am I gonna do about I'm thinking you've got doing so is illegal in under US law Come on, man. Yeah, this was America good blue land of the free can't be trapped my own yard. I think the rule You're only allowed to defend with reasonable and justified levels of force. Yeah hot iron Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's reasonable. I'm not putting a shotgun I'm not putting a shotgun like you open the door you get blasted in the chest. That is what the court case was For real? Yeah. Well, yeah that that makes sense. That's called murder. That should be supes illegal. We're just talking about facial reconstruction surgery. Yeah, we're talking about you reach for that doorknob,

it's on fire. Ironically, in that court case, the court noted that it would have been justified to shoot the person with the shotgun had the person been home at the time of the intrusion. What? But rigging up the booby trap is illegal. OK, I'm back to unhappy with that ruling.

No, that's fair, because it's not a danger to you if you're not there. Oh my gosh, so what if you're... So shotgun is coming into the picture with the dog? What if you're on a Ring doorbell system, or your alarm system, and you've got a booby trap set up, but you see the intruder? Now I'm taking part of this. Are you in danger? Nope, my stuff is

I don't know man. Mr. TV is in great danger right now. Yes What if I'm on the TV? You know what I mean? Right? I'm watching them I'm like, please leave and they're like no and they start reaching to like they're gonna punch the TV. Wow You know, okay. take care of business. All right, all right. Also, you could just talk to the neighbor. You could just ask him not to do that. Yeah, no poo-poo on my yard.

Talk to the neighbor. It would be funny if you put a fence up, but only for that corner of the yard. Like, it doesn't go across the whole front yard. It's just a corner of the fence. All right, glad we could help you. What if you put like a little square patch of grass out on the sidewalk in front to help It's like poop here. I

Don't think now that I think but I don't want that poopy piece of grass in my sidewalk So alright that didn't work. Just talk to the neighbor Alright Dave from patreon with a question for us my co-worker constantly listens to music at their desk with a Bluetooth speaker and it's driving me crazy. How do I ask them to keep it down without coming off as the office grump? Dude, when there are distractions in an office place, they can get out of control. Whoa, what are we talking about here?

Who are you talking about? I have no idea, but if you go to the doozers' camp, someone's eyes are pretty big. Why? Who's been doing the distracting? Oh, man. Distraction A and distraction B over there? That's true, honestly, Falcon.

You might not start the conversation. Papa Josh is the catalyst and the primary cause of distraction in the office work environment. But should he start I mean You I know you two guys. He's like the Will Ferrell impression of Harry Carrey just like he's He's like the moon's made of cheese Josh which was the place of business. We're trying to get stuff done

Would you eat it? There's a whole conversation about is the moon made out of cheese? Oh man. Also, I mean, I think. How do you do this? So. Can you start by saying turn it down? You can, but check this out. It's a little bit of mischief, but then you make up for it.

Okay. What if you sabotage the Bluetooth speaker? How? Drop it in the water, I don't know. Just make it not function anymore. Okay. Okay, and then they go to use it and then they're all mad that their Bluetooth speaker

doesn't work. I know where you're going. And then the next day, you're like, hey man, I heard you, the speaker, I knew you were really upset, so I bought you these headphones. Oh, yeah, some AirPod Pros, upset so I bought you these headphones Yeah, some airpods. Oh, yeah, I spared no expense. I got you there noise canceling and everything I like listening to it out loud, but thank you. I'll still take these Alright, I already replaced my Bluetooth speaker. Thank you so much

Give me those back because I need the noise cancellation because you're too loud This is the same kind of people that live in that stupid neighborhood. I mean, if you don't have awareness for the people around you, it is just, you know who else lives in that neighborhood? The people when I walk up at a movie theater to order popcorn, and they work for the movie theater,

and there's no one else in the line, and I'm standing at the thing, and they're just turned around and they're talking to each other, or're like doing something and they don't come up and take my order that gets you real peeved huh it's insane it's insane you're at that age now where no I've been this way my whole life it's insanity when somebody is the you can somebody get in on this with me why is it you got a job to do don't you're jibber jabber? It's because if I was them, I could never do that.

If I saw a person waiting, it would be impossible for me not to go over and help them. I'll bet when you were a teenager, you thought the same way you think now, but oftentimes didn't realize you were having a good time talking to your buddy and didn't see someone. Look, I'd go help them if I weren't having such a good time

That's nice. If you might I'm gonna just go start getting my own popcorn. Just walk back there It's nothing one another option sing along with every song and see how long that songs last So I would think if if this is you're trying to you're trying to teach right you want them to turn your music off But this is a learning opportunity, too And you might have to sacrifice a little bit here, but I would just make sure you get there first and get your Bluetooth speaker on prior to theirs. Established dominance?

Established dominance. So you're taking the armrest. 100%, this is my armrest. And so here's what I know you can't do. Like if someone's playing Bluetooth music next to you, you're not gonna put a Bluetooth music on yourself. It'll just sound awful and upsetting. And so whoever establishes dominance first,

they control it. So if you put your speaker on, now your neighbor's going, well, that's so rude. And they will learn, I hope. They will not. No, you'll just have shown them that it's okay to do that. Yeah. Terrible offer. They will not learn. I hope. They will not. No, you'll just have shown them that it's OK to do that. Yeah. Terrible offer.

They will not learn. I have another idea. OK. What if you got a, so I don't know how you would, I don't know how it would work with Bluetooth, but just figure out a way that you can get another, like a remote or something paired to the Bluetooth speaker. And then you just keep turning it up overly loud.

So other people come over and say. Yeah, so that other people start getting, or HR has to get involved, like, Bob over here keeps playing his music way too loud and then before you know it Bluetooth speakers are banished. Alternatively. Oh, yeah? Just talk to him.

Oh, you could talk to him. Yeah. But if you want to just find a way to cope with what you're having to deal with, I did, I learned this on this podcast, many episodes ago, Mike, I believe you brought an article to our attention, you could pour water in their bag

when they're not looking. So, if, I would say if you're a government worker, and you're a duly elected official, and you're upset with something, you could just behind their back start pouring water in their bag Every day for months just pour water Forgotten all about that so you know there's a lot of different ways you can do this But probably just talk to him or the water one they felt so bad once they got caught

Because you just got caught for months pouring water in a colleague's bag. It's ridiculous Liam from patreon said my friend always wants to split the bill 50-50 when we eat out which is by the way super easy to do It's the easiest thing just split it down the middle right you can tell the air but there's issues But they always order way more than I do exactly how do I suggest that we pay for our own order without causing awkwardness? Or calling them an overeater Oh, you just got to order more bro. I mean This is a contest now. This is a pissing contest and

You are gonna do it up. Yeah, Liam. I don't know if you like lobster, but you do now Mm-hmm, you like lobster and you love Surfing turf if you see MP on the menu, OK, that means must purchase, OK? That's not market price. That's must purchase. And eventually here, but then. Oh, I can't stop myself. I can't.

It's just so good. We're splitting this, right? I mean. Just like always, right? I'll take the caviar. Yeah, I mean. You're going to teach them a lesson soon enough. And in the meantime, you're getting great stuff out of it.

Have you been in this situation? Where you were unhappy that somebody wanted a 50-50? I have not been in this situation. I have definitely, many times as a teenager, got stuck where the group goes. And everyone's like, here's my contribution to the bill. Oh, and it's not close? And then they bail.

And you're like, there's tax and tip. And they're just like, I spent $10 on my bill, so here is $10. Oh, yeah, that sounds teenage-ery. Yeah, and then the bill shows up, and you're like, we are short $30. The problem that happens is when it's a group and everyone chips in with their cash and then at the end

It's like the whole bill was like three hundred dollars And then at the very end you've got a hundred and twenty bucks for like eight other people exactly you're like Yeah, okay, and they all leave Yeah, I've had that happen several times You guys have the family member that won't let you pay for things Yeah, like just absolute like it's like oh, I got this and they'll like never You guys have the family member that won't let you pay for things? Yeah. Like, just absolute, like, it's like, oh, I got this, and they'll like, never. They won't let you pay?

It's like you're pooping on their yard. Are you complaining right now? I'm trying to read the tone of your voice, because you're like, hey, you ever got this, buddy? All he does is just pay for all of your stuff? Whenever we go out, it's awesome. No, no, no. I think he's got a family member that won't let him pay for them. Yeah, but Mike's point is that's awesome.

Oh, yeah. I got you. I got you. Where is the issue? I don't know. I think it is, I believe, and this is not a joke, I believe it is a good thing to be able to accept kindness as well.

And so sometimes people have a hard time, they will give kindness, but they would not. Sounds like you're having a real hard time accepting their kindness. It does, it does. Okay, that is completely fair in this single example. I agree. So maybe I should work on that.

But I think all people should work on that. It's okay to accept kindness, accept help. Yeah, you never wanna be in the situation where it's a pride thing why you can't accept again. I have gotten to the point where if we go out and I'll pay. You're like, hey, I got it. And then if they do the oh, no, no, no, no thing, that's the end. That is the end of the conversation.

We're not playing the game. Oh, no, I insist. no, no, I insist. The game is done. If I have offered to pay and you jump in and say, no, no, no, I want it. Oh, okay, then here's what you're paying. I am 100. That game is done.

1000%. Get that out of my head. That ain't Mike's game for sure. No, I think it's right. You can offer to pay and if they say, no, I don't want you to, then you should not pay. Yeah, and then it's almost, you're like, I'm calling your bluff. Have you ever had somebody that just goes, why don offer to pay, and if they say, no, I don't want you to, then you should not pay. Yeah, and then it's almost, you're like, I'm calling your bluff.

Have you ever had somebody that just goes, why don't you pay? You got it this time, right? Now, this question comes in from Jason on set. What if that is your stance, but then your wife is always completely adamant that you pay? And so now there's like this fight between like. Hypothetically?

Hypothetically. Yeah, of course. Hypothetical situation where it's like. Have you gone to the server like secretly before? Oh, many times. Yeah. Put this card on file and let's make sure the bill's taken care of.

Yeah, exactly. I've done that. Sometimes you have to depending on the situation. Yeah, exactly. I've done that. Sometimes you have to, depending on the situation. Yeah, because you've got to let the family know that I'm better than you. I'm going to pay for everything. That's why they turn it down. That's why they turn it down. No, Mike, I agree.

That's what I feel like it portrays sometimes. Yeah, that's why I do it. You guys do it because you're kind? No. Yeah, it's funny. Paying and splitting bills. You guys, what, you guys do it because you're kind? No. Yeah, it's funny. Paying and splitting bills. Another trip to the restaurant where I'm better.

Yeah, paying and splitting bills is always that awkward end to the meal. If it wasn't just clearly established in the beginning where you go, oh, this was nice. There's a second awkwardness. What are we doing here? If you let it known beforehand that you're paying, it prohibits them from ordering what they want some money. For sure. You got to pay at the end.

You know, unless it's beforehand, like, hey, my treat, I'm going to take you out for something. No, but if you say that, sometimes people will seriously not order stuff just to prevent you. Well, it's on them. Accept the kindness. Be generous. Accept generosity. There you go. Great quote. Do you guys buy it? No, generous, accept generosity.

There you go, great quote. To you guys buying? No man, you are. We accept your generosity today. All right, we'll take a break, be back with our draft. The Spitballers Draft. All right, we are drafting the best places to host a private party. This could be anywhere on earth. Anywhere you want to have a party that would be very cool.

In fact, before Mike takes his first pick we know I remember I know because it's the 101 and I want it and if if we were in reverse order here and Andy started it came to me I'd have it but go ahead Mike I'll tell the story later oh sorry no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no, no, no, no, no. I insist you tell your story. You, your story, Andy. All I was going to say was that one time in high school, the prom was not at an empty amphitheater. It was at a science center. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's pretty common here. And it was a prom as a party. And it was cool to have stuff around that you

could look at or see. So there are places where it would be very novel and neat to have a party. That's all I was going to say. Arizona Science Center? Yes, sir. Yeah, I went to one prom for someone else be very novel and neat to have a party. That's all I was going to say. Arizona Science Center? Yes, sir. Yeah. I went to one prom. It was awesome. For someone else's school and that's where we were. It was fantastic.

So the bad news of having the 101 means that the legendary scat I did went out there. Great news is I have the first pick for this one. So it's Disneyland, baby. Yeah. It's not just Disneyland. It's Disneyland after hours. It's having the park to yourself. No, we're starting at the beginning. And we're going to... Just a solo... You get Disneyland for the day. How unbelievable. I can't imagine. I've thought about if you're Elon Musk, if you're just a billionaire and you can have enough money to just be like, no, every worker works today.

Yeah. Okay? We're not going skeleton crew here. It's me and my friends. Every Turo Stand is operational. It's like everybody got snapped and disappeared except for you. Yeah. I mean, it's so cool.

Yeah. So that's funny. I didn't think about the whole park. Oh, yeah. I thought about just a part of the park. So if you- Oh, you gotta think bigger. If you're at this park, are you all, like you and your group, it just seems like so

much space. Oh yeah. Oh, it'll be so great. Yeah, that's part of the allure. In fact, here, let me show you how it's done. I am up next. I am not taking the Oval Office. I'm taking the whole White House.

Okay. I'm partying at the White House. I'm taking the whole White House. I'm partying at the White House. Which other room in the White House do you like? Oh, all of them, man. Lincoln bedroom. That's going to be special. The whole West Wing. We're going to do it up. So you're taking the White House after Disneyland? Yeah. I want Disney. Which one do you want? Oh, you.

I wish I could. I would be happy to take California I'm the president and I'm gonna be on big your private, you know I'm dressing up as Abe Lincoln like, you know for my party in the White House. I got the top Soon Andy The next pick. I'm gonna go, I got a double selection here. Number one, again, to me this is, I got the invitation. It shows up, it's got White House on it, that's awesome. I'm going to the White House for a party.

You know where I'm going? I'm going to Alcatraz. Oh, that's on my list! I'm going to Alcatraz. Yes, that's a good one. I gotta take a boat to get to this party do and then it's all creepy and cool to be done up in a cool prison way Well, of course. Well, yeah, I mean you got a theme the party to the locale. Yeah I'll hire prisoners to be like at the bars. I would hire a I would have just act I wouldn. I wouldn't get real prisoners.

That's danger to your party. Yeah, it's fair. I won't get real prisoners. Everything here is authentic, 100%. I wouldn't go in there. See that toothbrush shank? That's real, man. That guy just whittled that down.

Watch out. See that crazy guy? He looks like a murderer, because he is. Spare no expense. So come to my party on Alcatraz and then come to my party and this is in the spirit of that old the prom at the Science Center all right come to my party at the I know Jason won't come but everyone else can the Museum of National History natural Yeah, you said national natural history. Okay. I just wanted to make sure Dinosaur place yeah well more than that but yeah

There's a giant whale hanging from the center of the Museum of National. How much do you have natural? How much you got to grease the wheels up there to go ride that whale? I Feel like I party nothing. It's all right I was gonna say you. Am I partying? Nothing, it's a ride. I was gonna say. You wait in line to do it. You wait in line. If you're able to have a private party and you have that whole thing,

it's all touchy. I'm allowed to touch everything. It's all touchy. It's all touchy. Everything is touchy. This has now become an interactive science museum. Okay. All the ropes, I'm like,

can you move all the ropes outside while my party's going on? It was the museum, right? The movie, the museum? Night at the museum. Night at the museum, that's what it was, yeah. But that's where it, that's right the movie the museum night at the museum night at the museum That's what it was. Yeah, but that's where that's where Ben stiller. That's where the party is, but they don't come alive Okay, Jason you are back on the clock Okay, so there's not a lot of cool places left in the world Wow I've got most of what I want Disneyland just to be clear if Disneyland was gone

From the world you would have almost nothing to do exactly Yeah, I mean Disney world's really far away though and apparently when you try to go there's usually a hurricane yeah, Kimmy I mean you could go to you could go to Japan to go to Disneyland Hey, dude, I would that's that's number one on my list of Disneyland's to go to All right, what other touchy places are you drafting other touchy places that I'm drafting which is the the draft today? I think I'm not that go on I would love We're football fans. I think having a party at a famous stadium Yeah, would be really cool kind of having it all to yourself

and Yeah, would be really cool kind of having it all to yourself and When I think of famous stadiums, there are two that come to mind Just I don't know if it's right or wrong like famous any stadiums at all I think of Wrigley Field and I think of Lambeau and I'm actually close between them only because if you had a party at Wrigley I Think it would be fun to have a baseball game and you can you can because if you had a party at Wrigley, I think it would be fun to have a baseball game. And you can. You can't just like, at a party you can't have a football game. Football games are too dangerous, too advanced, too cool. Oh, okay. So you're playing in the game.

Yeah, I'm saying the people at the party can have an impromptu... I was trying to figure out why the players couldn't play during the party, but I got you. You can have a kickball game using the field, you know what I mean? That would be fun. At the same time, I don't want to put myself in a baseball stadium. So I'm going to take Lambeau. OK, Lambeau Field.

Lambeau Field, I'll rent that out. Just pick the right time of year, man. Don't do it in the middle of winter. It'll be a nice, cool summer day. OK. Mike, you've got two picks left. All right, so my first pick, I don't know if you guys are aware,

but so the, when you visit the Eiffel Tower, there's like, there's the second floor, so it's like this huge area I looked at, it's 4,700 square feet. So it's the second floor of the Eiffel Tower, so you're in your way up there. 4,700 square feet, it's not a huge party, but yeah. I mean, me and,

It's like 10 people. 10 people hanging out on didn't know that didn't know you could go up in it yeah and you can I mean you can climb up to the top too if you want but there's there's a big enough area that you can hang out there have a good oh yeah like if the drinks are flowing or people there's glass and stuff like to keep well there's also edges ah I'd look out for those yeah that's what I was talking about. Yeah, we'll just have to take precautions to make sure that people are safe. The Eiffel Tower, that's pretty dope.

Yeah, so you're way up there. And speaking of way up there. Uh-oh. You gotta take a ride to get up to this next one. I will have my party on the ISS, everybody. That was on my list. Oh, I thought for sure I'd get that on my last pick. International Space Station.

I mean, that's probably the 101 like this is cool But I thought I thought that that would not go drafted because you know like Andy started saying anywhere on earth And I was thinking hmm low orbit. Yeah, I'm not on earth the biggest The biggest problem is I didn't know what the like it's on my list It would have been picked, but I didn't know what the square footage would be like. Yeah, I don't care if it's two people. Oh, it's not big. Yeah.

Honestly, when I have a party, that's usually the amount of people I want to invite, so this is all the way around, it's perfect. It just feels like it might be easy to be late to that party. You know what I mean? You gotta really time things up. I don't think you can be late. I think you-

Well, if you miss your flight, you're gonna have to wait a month or so. Yeah, for sure. For another launch window. But I do think that they are, they don't, Well, if you miss your flight, you're going to have to wait a month or so. Yeah, for sure. For another launch window. But I do think that they are, they don't, I think they're on a pretty tight schedule with those rockets. They are.

Alright, so am I back up? You are. Alright, space station is gone. Darn it. I'm going to go with- About 3,900 square feet if you kind of, you know- That's not bad. Yeah, no, but it's- But it's all tubular. It's all tight quarters. Yeah

Okay, so there's there's one that maybe I I could definitely see Andy enjoying it It might be on his list, but I'm gonna I'm gonna play the game see if it comes back to me. I'm gonna take a luxury yacht. I've never been on one That's yeah, that's but you can make some assumptions that it's not bad. I can make some pretty clear assumptions based on, you know, all the photographs of awesome yacht parties. That'd be cool. I'm out on the ocean just watching dolphins swim and having a great time, having a party on a yacht. I never thought I'd be on a boat. What is the...

Andy likes the dolphins? I did, I did. Because I just feel like there's got to be a bit where Jason just talks about what stuff is. It's just what stuff is. Two minutes with Jason. Stuff that's out there. I've been seeing dolphins.

And they'll be like glistening on the ocean. I can smell the waves and the ocean and kind of the pee pee water The ocean kind of smells like pee Salty pee what they think it ocean smells like 100% not mine It does not smell like you know how much pee is in the ocean. You know how many animals are out there excrete Yeah, they're they're pooping. That's all Gentlemen Lee do fish they, do they urinate? I don't care.

I really care. We've got a marine biologist in the house. Papa Josh is googling right now. Have you ever been peed on by a dolphin? Fish do? Yes. Nice. Interesting. I don't think you're smelling pee though, man. I don't think you are either., though, man. You're smelling like seaweed. Yeah, I don't think you are either. OK, then seaweed smells like pee.

Is that what you agree? It smells like seaweed. Seaweed does smell bad. Yeah. Is it my turn? Yes, it is. Is it back to me? All right, step one, pick three here.

I've got Alcatraz Museum of Natural History. I'm going to go an ice hotel in Sweden. Dude, it's on my list. An ice hotel? Yeah. Oh, yeah. The ice hotel. I mean, why's on my list a nice hotel. Yeah. Oh, yeah ice hotel I mean why not I mean that's a dream for me that seems very very Unique and special and cool. It will be on it's really every year

They build a hotel out of ice and you get to go party there, and I think Al Borland is gonna respect this pick I don't know about the rest of the guys But I think you will because look it's just it's just a cool place to have a party and to feel regal and unique and special I'm taking Downton Abbey taking Downton Abbey the castle because it really exists there's a castle there I mean it's it that's what I don't know anything about the show down abby is just it's first for snobby people It's great down town abby. No no no downtown abby down

Downton I will post a picture of it. It is a there's a castle No, it is essentially an abbey, but it's a castle. It looks like a castle. Wait, an Abbey is a castle? It's not a castle. I thought Abbey was a name. No. There's no ramparts for you to walk, okay? So it's not a castle. But it's an old manor that is humongous. That's not a castle.

That is humongous. There's no moat. Alright, that's the pick, man. Yeah, I was gonna end up drafting. That was the pick that I had that I wanted, that I thought Andy likes. He would respect it. Maybe it'll get back to me. If it got back to me, I would have actually taken the Windsor

Castle, just because it's bigger and more regal and it's actually a castle. You could have taken Buckingham Palace. You could have taken a million of those. But I'm taking Downton. And I like it. I like it. The show's great.

And that would be fun to be there. Since I don't have that, but I am fancy and we're gonna cut it up, we're going to the Sistine Chapel. Oh, right. Okay. And we're throwing a party at the Sistine Chapel. Okay. I get to look at some fancy art, be part of history, and cut it up.

That seems to be the big one. Yeah. Cutting it up. Mm-hmm. That's what that's what you want You take a guess without looking when do you think that was built? Give me like the century? Oh, man Okay, if you get this right I'll be so impressed that you don't need Siri. It was the Sistine Chapel built. Yeah Let's play a game of who's closest to the guests. That's the one with Michael Angelo

He did the yes So before it took eight years. Yeah, so you can get anywhere in that eight years and I'll be happy My god within a hundred years. I'd be happy. Give us a hundred years I'm gonna say the I'm gonna say the 1300s okay Okay Mike? I wanted to say the like the 11 hundreds but now that sounds stupid but I'll go with that anyways. 1473. Okay. All right I'm not. I said 1300s I meant 1399 pretty close. That's not bad that's not bad at all. All right now that's

not too bad I didn't know if you were gonna say like 1971. Alright, Mike, you get the final pick here. Jason has the White House, the Lambo Field, luxury yacht with the dolphins swimming around, and the Sistine Chapel. Alright, some of the greatest art in there. For the, uh, for my final pick here, it's a little tough because I can't actually tell you where the party would take place, like what room, but we would figure it out because I'm partying with the aliens, baby! I'm going to Area 51! Yeah, that's good.

Just don't. We're gonna cut it up in some UFOs. It's the only place where your guests might get shot trying to get to the party. Yeah, well, show me them aliens, man. Yeah, you know, that makes sense. I thought Area 51 would get drafted, for sure. That's a good draft.

You've got a lot of space going on. Yeah, that makes sense. Well, that's how I get to the ISS, is from Area 51. Can they launch from there? I'm sure. Yeah, but in the alien craft. Yeah. So no one sees.

So it's even faster. The only other real one I didn't take that was on my list was the Roman Colosseum. Oh yeah. That was a good one. I thought that one would be good but you took Lambeau Field. You know basically the same.

I don't have a single leftover. I had the Mount Everest Base Camp. Sure. Seems like that would be a good time. That's gonna limit your guest list as well. Yeah well and this is more just, it's picture-esque but like Stonehenge. Okay, in the background, lots of pictures?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, other than that, it's just grass. It's a grassy area. Yeah, you're just in grass hills. Yeah, you're just like, I've got a grass hill pretty near my house. With some rocks though, man. Not Stonehenge rocks.

But if we made the rules about the museum that I can just ride the whale If I'm having a party of Stonehenge that means I get to be all of it. You can climb up in the ruins Come up in those hinges. Yeah, I'm gonna be doing push-ups on the top It's really done. There are no hinges in Stonehenge, which I feel like is well, it's not spelled like that Yeah, it is it is hinge there. There are hinged Isn't henge with fence? Yeah with he and you can spell hinged multiple ways This is crazy. Yeah, today's crazy. It really hinges on how you spell it. Yeah

All right, let's close it down What did we learn today I learned that if you just talk to someone doing something wrong, it's probably the easiest way. I learned that I have some booey traps to take down. Oh my goodness. And I didn't learn anything today, so that'll do it for today's show. Jason with the scat next week. Can't wait.

What? And we'll be back with another episode. This was our last show ever Congrats, oh my gosh. Wow. Well, have a good one then. Have a good life everyone. Goodbye Thanks for listening to the spitballers podcast to see what other nonsense the guys are up to check out spitballersPod.com.