Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 313: Gruncles & Doctors That Aren’t Doctors - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: January 27, 2025

It’s Monday and that can only mean it’s time for some laughter. On this episode we discuss speeding yachts, wind-chime heists and wrap things up with a Doctors That Aren’t Doctors. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

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Algoma University is a publicly funded university in Canada. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. A sandwich with ham, potato cream, cheese, let's go! Delicious! Tremendous! Thank you! Oh Delicious tremendous So much, but I'd say we're when something happens like that on this show It was a hundred percent related to the draft

Usually what we were at a hundred percent right now. I've broken the mold that has dropped Nothing to do with today's episode it had a little bit to do in fact entirely with what was on my screen So oh you just you real life into the heart. Yes, I'm like potato on your sandwich I'm looking at well, you know, do I do the potato cream cheese soup? Do I yeah ham see let's go. So got me Finisher was the I just wanted to eat. So there's a couple of things going on. Welcome to the Spitballers episode 313. Amazing. Yeah, you know me.

It is negative 1,000 degrees in the studio right now. Feels nice. Which it's not. It's literally snowing in Florida. Right. And we're like, guys, it's not like it's literally snowing in Florida right and we're like no, but we're Outside this morning, it's 30 degrees here for about 10 minutes No, and then the Sun comes out and it's you just plus 20 degrees immediately look it's cold It's 50 right now Papa Josh is a very upset look

We don't have conditioning in this studio because we've never need I mean no heat I should say then Jason is all but sure that studio, because we've never need, I mean, no heat, I should say. Then, Jason is all but sure that he's not doing the scat, and I thought it was me today, and then all of a sudden, two seconds before the show, it just makes sense that you got where you got, is what I'm saying. Right. Papa Josh is like, oh, Jason, you got the scat today. I'm like, what?

I thought Andy was getting me, and then the music started, and potato cream cheese on the screen. Honestly, I thought- Even when he said you had the scat cat I thought Josh was getting you and I wasn't gonna say anything I was like he was just gonna make you do it. But Welcome into the spitballers. Would you rather life advice and we are drafting a very special draft today do our best doctors Who aren't doctors? That's right. They might be called doctors, but... They're not doctors. There's no diploma.

No. We really gotta rein this thing in. Also, I did figure out... Of doctorates versus doctors. That's what I was gonna get to right there. That's exactly what I was gonna bring up is we were talking about who would be eligible to be doctors that are not doctors. And really, what we're mostly talking about here is we're gonna draft people that are

called doctors. It's like a surname for them, but it doesn't really. There's the moniker, it's fun. They're not, they don't got a family practice, okay? No. They're not working, but Dr. Phil came up, and that's a PhD, not an MD. That's why we have, that's the difference.

He's not a doctor. But he's got a doctorate. He's got a doctorate. Which you get to be called doctor if you have a doctorate. And that's what we need to abolish. That's what we're saying we need to get rid of. What we need to pivot. Because I'm saying, if you go through all of the schooling

to get your doctorate, yeah, I'm fine with it. You have earned yourself a title. Because I mean, that's. You should be doctorate. That's bachelor. Doctorate of psychology, Phil. Because you've got to get a bachelor, masters, and then doctorate right? Yeah

Yeah, so I mean that is so much dissertation like yes You have you have earned the right you have earned yourself a title But in though in our dumb English language of we have people called doctors who are for health And then you're like my name is doctor thing you're like. Oh, what are you a doctor of it? Philosophy like that. It's eating up. Can you write me a script? No, but I can tell you a doctor of? You're like, philosophy. Like, that's, see, now. Oh, can you write me a script? No, but I can tell you how to feel. Don't you see? It might be.

That's our fault. Oh. It's not their fault, because a doctor, it always meant a doctor did different things. We just associated the moniker of doctor of medicine, we shorthanded them to like, well, because you go, bring me to the doctor.

But you go see the doctor. Yeah, it's an occupation. Because we did that that though. We decided that's what you do late It already happened, but even if I go see a doctorate of psychology Yeah, I am I never I would say I'm going to see no psychologist No, I say what did my doctor say what script did my doctor give me? I just you'd say that same if you're on for a psychologist Yeah, if you got a if you got a script you'd be like, what am I doctor? Give me if they can write a script Yeah, I'm saying if you're on an airplane and you hear

Is there a doctor on board someone raises their hand? They're like, yes PhD in theology I'm a doctor of interior down here design of art history is like and you win art history. And you win the argument. And you win the argument. But I'm trying to help these people. So what we need to do is we need to change one of them. Now the easiest. No, it's doctorate.

Doctor is an occupation. You are not changing that. OK, so medical doctors are doctors. That's locked in. The other people are. Doctorates. That's too long. The other people are- Doctorates. That's too long. Doctorate Phil.

Doctorate Phil? Just rolls off the tongue. Yeah, Doctorate Oz. Yeah. No, I'm not, you gotta have a different name. We can, I don't know if we can figure it out right now, but just, we gotta think about this. Okay, well in the meantime.

["Would You Rather?" by John Williams plays in background.] Well in the meantime, would you rather? Professor's just a college teacher, right? A prof? Yeah. Professor's, professor is awesome. You're saying the job? There's only one title better than that. I'm saying the title of professor is, that's awesome.

That's great. What's better? Headmaster. Oh, that is awesome. That's great. What's better? Headmaster. Oh, that is better. That is definitely better. Have we ever drafted titles? Oh, I don't think we have. Yeah, we got mister, missus, doctor.

Headmaster? Yeah. We have a headmaster. Oh, we got to draft titles. You feel like you're in Hogwarts. Oh, well, yes. A headmaster is, like if a child misbehaves, the headmaster is picking them up, shoulder pressing them,

and throwing them out. Or casting a spell. Yeah, probably casting a spell. But they could use their strength. I'm over on Matilda. I see. I see. Would you rather, Andrew from the website,

would you rather your brain actually release an audible? Oh, gosh. we're here again. Here we are again. Right off the bat. I know. Would you rather your brain actually release an audible smelly fart when you have a brain fart? Okay.

Does that like come out your ears? Or actually, yeah. No, it comes out your brain. But through your ears, yeah. Or actually get punched in the gut when you receive an emotional gut punch. A gut punch, let's examine this so like when we say the expression hey that was a gut punch yeah sometimes that might be like look my grandmother died that was a gut punch that

would suck yeah for that moment you're sad and you got punched someone walks up actually they'd probably walk up and say your grandmother grandmother died, and then wallop you. And then walk away. And then walk away. Now the brain fart. Those are more. This could be why older people are gassier, because the brain farts, they come on, the older you get, the less you,

like Papa Josh, for example. Yeah, it's gonna travel down south. It'd be farting all day. Yeah, I don't know that we could have him in a room. Wait, did you say travel, you said the brain farts and then it comes out downstairs? I'm saying the way it works right now. Oh, OK.

Because this is already happening. This is just a hypothetical question of your brain actually farts. I like that it leaks out your ears or your nose. The nose would be. Oh, the nose is brutal. That's too much. It's got to come out of something, Mike.

Your pores. You can't just have like an ever-expanding cranial. No, I think he's right. It just leaks out of all your little visible is there a small amount of are your parts visible If your farts are visible that's not they might be a shark if they came out on my pores who knows What kind of sound would that make just like a oh? Out the pores yeah, oh no it'd be real high It has to be a fart. Oh, it would be yeah, because those are tiny little sphincters I Can't even you can't even do it micro sphincters. I mean this only dogs might hear it

At that P Look, I don't want I don't get gut punched as often as I have a brain fart Yeah, but it's the double up of when you get the gut punch Look, I don't want, I don't get gut punched as often as I have a brain fart. Yeah. But it's the double up of when you get the gut punch. When's the last time you had the wind knocked out of you? Oh man. It's been a long time ago, but it is, it's brutal.

You feel like you're going to die for a second. Yes, you do. So I mean, it's just like as you grow up, you don't have that happen to you as often. Or you're just, you're not putting yourself in the position. Right, right. So it's like, that would suck. Like when we, we did, you know, a few years of old man recreational flag football.

Did anyone get the wind out of them there? I don't know man, I'm pretty sure that was young man. Is there a chance? Yeah, compared to us now, yes. Is there a chance that we're misdefining, like is a gut punch anything you accidentally refer to as a gut punch? Because like I would refer to things that maybe aren't real gut punches. I think it's anything that really upsets you.

Yeah, it's more rare. It's super rare. I'm taking the gut punch. That's probably once every three years. I don't know man, you ever go and you're like, oh, I hope they got the mushroom biscuit. That's what I was asking. What's the soup of the day? And they're like tomato. And you're like, oh. And then he punches you. Tomato, bam. See, that's OK. Maybe you need to go the brain fart.

When the soup of the day is out, that's emotionally devastating. It's a pretty big gut punch, depending on what my mood was going in. Like, if I was going there for that soup okay and it's like I don't have it today yeah boom in the stomach yeah I can see that I got food on the mind I'm gonna take those and I'm gonna take the tomatoes let's go I'm gonna take the gut punch just because it's going brain fart. Brain farts are far more frequently. Just, yeah.

What is your BFPH? PH? Per hour? Yeah, your brain fart per hour. Probably like 0.1, but it's a couple times a day. I'd say one to three a day. Yeah, so just call it two. And how many real farts a day? We talked about the big brain fart that's...

Let's call it 200. I had a clicker once we talked about the fact that we the epic new brain fart that has entered the Society is the I pulled my phone in and forgot what I'm doing on my own. Yes, we talked about that Yeah, that's true in the office because what happens is you pull your phone out to do something Yeah, you're like, oh, I need to check the email. I forgot, I've got to get back to this person. You pull it out, notification. Google Home Alert, the camera's gone off. Oh, I gotta check that out.

You will never remember to send that email again. Fart. Okay, so final answers. I'm going gut punch, you guys are going? I'm going fart. Gut punch. Okay, David from the website, would you rather never be able to use a microwave again

or never be able to use a kitchen sink again? I will intro you into the thought process here with a story. Okay. My, you know him, my great uncle. Yes? Your gruncle? My gruncle. That doesn't sound good. It doesn't, but it's just what he is. My you know him my great uncle. Yes, your uncle my grunkle That doesn't sound it doesn't but it's just what he is. It's for a grunkle Stan on

Was there's a cartoon of course there is Mike there, you know, you have never learned anything from anywhere else something falls Gravity Falls. It's great show Grunkle Stan cartoon character from Gravity Falls incredible. It's a great show. Grunkle Stan. Grunkle Stan cartoon character from Gravity Falls. Incredible. Ding ding ding. Great show. So my grunkle has never ever owned a microwave. Ever. Good for him. His house has stayed in the exact same condition and state that it was born in in the 50s or something. Wow. He's never moved? No, everything he heats up, he heats up with an oven. He'll heat the oven up. Okay, so the old fashioned oven.

And so the other day. This is not like a countertop. No, this is old school. Yeah, there's gotta be a landowner too. We're waiting 15 minutes for this thing to heat up. Yes, so the other day, my parents were trying to do him a favor. They bought him a microwave and they unboxed the microwave

and they set it on the counter and they were gonna show him how to use it. And they got so many mean looks that they boxed the microwave up and they brought it back to the store. We don't have it. So he's not, I mean, his answer is easy. Yeah, his answer is very easy.

He does not want a microwave. He has a cell phone. Yes, in recent years, he has pulled that off. Flip phone? Or are we talking smartphone? I think it's semi-smart. Semi-smart. It's coming in green.

Green bubbles. I don't know. Oh, oh. It's coming in green bubbles. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you mean? The font was green? I didn't know what you had.

He messed it up. I thought you meant he was coming in green like he was new to it. Oh, OK. So he was like, you mean the font was green like I know what you messed it up I thought you I thought you man he was coming in green like he was new to know so he was like his font is only green We all had different thoughts the green bubble makes sense Okay, so he but he's very interesting microwave PSA Green bubble people are the worst anyways microwave or Anyways, microwave or what was the other option? Kitchen sink, I mean, I don't understand how this could actually be a question.

Yeah, look, anybody that's had their water turned off before and you wait and you see that you need to do anything. You can't do it. You can't live without a kitchen sink. No, you cannot. You've gotta rinse dishes, you've gotta wash your hands. You gotta haul these into the bathroom. Yeah, let me go wash the dishes.

Get my dish cart like I'm a busboy, bring them down the hallway to the bathroom. You just can't live that way. On the flip side, living without a microwave is probably a pretty big upgrade for your health. In living without a microwave? Yeah. And just taste.

No, but what about leftovers? No, I'm not saying. I use a microwave. But I'm just saying if it was like, I can't just make a microwave dinner, instead I'm going to have to use my stovetop, probably better. Unless I'm making stovetop stuff. I'm going to be honest.

I haven't used my microwave to make a microwave dinner in ever. Like 15, 20 years. I mean. Because you're not eating microwave dinners? microwave to make a microwave dinner in ever? Like 15, 20 years? I mean. Because you're not eating microwave dinners? Yeah, because who eats microwave dinners? Do people eat those? College kids.

Oh man, I lived on Salisbury steak. Dude, with the little apple. You're a grown up. In my early 20s, the Hungry Man had this thing out. Oh, Hungry Man had some stuff. Dude, and it was like gigantic fried chicken strips, huge potato wedges, a big old slop of cheese. Oh man, this thing had at least 1,200 plus calories in it.

Oh yeah. But pure poison. Oh yeah, yeah, for sure. But the- Are we, am I off base here? Everyone's eating those a lot? You guys are both nodding back there. I apologize to all the industry people. What are you eating back there? What's the brand Marie calendars? Oh, well like a pot pie from the 90s

Is not a pop I saw the TV dinner. They still have those Microwave dinner. Yeah, but no they have the whole TV dinners. Actually, I would count that as a TV dinner a pot pie in the microwave I think so. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I know what you're talking about like a pre-portion three-section it's different I guess that's what I meant when I said I haven't heated I probably heated it it's gotta have the compartments yeah it's a be a microwave dinner yeah to be yeah and why just microwave dinner TV dinner microwave dinners have to tell you how much their dinner on the boxes yeah you know what I mean like you would not this is definitely dinner This is definitely your dinner.

What's your brand there? What do you got? Trader Joe's, the butter chicken. It's a microwaveable? Yeah, it's really good. Is it frozen, or is it just cold? Yeah, it's got to be frozen. It's frozen.

Oh. Trader Joe's has some good frozen food. I'm in on the hashtag not a sponsor, but I upgraded my air fryer a bit ago, so I got the double compartment. I thought this was your helicopter. No, no, no. It's me pulling out both compartments of my Ninja.

Is the double worth it? Because the double has, it's got air fry, bake. I've thought about it. And some other options. So I reheat all of my leftovers exclusively in this bad dog. It takes longer, but it tastes so much better. You see they have these air fryers that are over like glass compartments now like ninja has one that it's a glass What it's glass it sits on top of a glass

Bowl and that's how you air fry I have not seen and then I got into the bowl I got a new air fryer that is not levitating the it's in the bowl being air fry I've got one that is really wide, so I could do pizzas in there. Like a full-size pizza? Well, yeah, like a frozen pizza. You put it in there, whoo, that's nice. Huh, learning all sorts of stuff.

How big can they make air-fryers? Big enough for a pizza. Big enough for a pizza. Yeah, that's fair. OK, where were we? Yeah, I'm going to keep the sink. Yeah, of course, the course. It's not possible. Steve from Patreon, would you rather a personal shape chauffeur, personal chauffeur at all times, which sounds amazing, a private jet, it's only available for one trip a month, that sounds amazing, or a private yacht available

for six weekends per year. Six weekends per year is outstanding. I... I join... I feel like the water... The water is too dangerous. The water is just... You know what's going on down there? You can be on a lake.

You wouldn't even believe what's going on down there. You can be on a private yacht on a lake. That's lame. You can't have a yacht on a lake. You can't have a yacht on a lake. I've looked it up. You might as well have it on the freaking land. I mean, that's boring.

The yacht to me is cool because of the ocean. But then I also feel like the ocean wants to eat us. Yeah, I was. We don't belong there. Like we will die on it. Like six weekends a year, I'll die in one of those. OK, if you're afraid to go on a boat then sure Cancel the boat out, but I'm just saying that this is a generous boat They would be real mad at you if well

I would assume you're way more scared on a boat in the ocean than a yacht. That's the same same Same same same same okay anything on the ocean no way ocean cares not for the size of your boat Yes, it wants to swallow you. You're telling me you're on a little two-person boat with ore. That's the same thing? That's a canoe. It's big enough.

No, it's wide. It's wide. It's a fishing boat. I got to read this. The number of yachts is from AI. Search Labs, Google, thank you. The number of yachts is from AI. Search Labs, Google, thank you. The number of yachts that sink each year varies, but there have been more yacht sinkings in recent years.

2024, 12 yachts were completely destroyed, which is the highest number of yachts destroyed in the last decade. But we don't know if people were on them when they sunk. What do you think, they go out on their own? I think hurricanes happen and then they sit in the when they sunk what do you think they go out on their own I think hurricanes happen and they got a harbor what do you think it's on land yeah you can't park your yacht I can't pull that thing up into the backyard rough weather collisions a collision the ocean bro watch out counts with colliding to land all right never seen a shipwreck age of

the fleet older yachts are more likely to sink, as you might know. Math checks out on that one. So you would just sail across the ocean blue? No, I don't think that's what I'm going to take. My only point was that it was very gracious to have six weekends per year. Al Borland and I, a couple years ago, we went in on a boat club. So have you heard- I know you did. How'd that work out? What kind of boats would you- So it was like on a boat club. So if you heard- I know you did. And how'd that work out?

What kind of boats would you- So it was like renting a boat. Yeah, so up at the lake by us, there was a boat club where you could- Was it a yacht? No yachts. No yachts. He looked into it at the time. There were really nice boats.

There's like, you know, you could have 20 people on a boat, a double decker with a slide out the back, or you could get a speed boat, and it was only like 200 bucks a month as far as for a, compared to owning a boat. Does that include rescue? It's a lake, I can swim. No rescue needed, no crashes, we went 100%. But my point is like-

How many times did you take it out? Exactly, three times in two years. Like I just, finding a time to go to the lake just never worked for my schedule. Because it's not worth it. A lake, to your point, it's not good enough. It's just not good enough. The idea of having a boat and doing that,

it's a lot of work. It's great when you got it and you're out on the lake. It's amazing. Yes. But it's a lot of, like, you'd rather just rent a boat. Oh, for sure. That's, I mean, owning a boat, like, my wife wanted to get a boat, Oh for sure. That's I mean owning a boat, like my wife wanted to get a boat and I'm like,

you have so much startup money, then you gotta take care of it. Maintenance. Maintenance and I'm not, I want you to know I will do none of that. That's what the club's about. I will wipe none of the things off the outside you have to, I mean the answer here is clearly a private jet.

For me it's a private jet. Once a month is nice, that'd be nice. I can make jet that once a month is it's nice. That'd be nice I can make time for once a month and you know where I can go Anywhere, I mean most anywhere with any 1000 miles. I was gonna say would you like? Yeah, how far would you travel? Um, I would travel as far as how does tank allows. Oh, so yeah, I guess that makes sense I don't know. Can you do like a private jet from Phoenix to New York?

I would think so. Okay, well then great. That's all I need. New York, Florida, California. If you go overseas, they have to pull up a second jet next to you and you walk over to it to swap to the full one. Oh, it's not the executive decision.

Jet comes in and fuels you? We can look into it. Real quick on the boats. do we have any other classification for boats as they get bigger? Bigger than a yacht? No, no, no. There's the yacht, the cap? Yeah, it's because you're like a two person boat.

And then you're like, I got this 20 person boat. Right, it doesn't feel like it's fair. You know what, I got a car, I got a sedan, I got a minivan, I got a Sprinter van. They definitely have different names for boats, we just don't know them. We just call them boats because other people will call all cars cars. But you'd be like, no, that's a sports car. I've got bad news for you guys.

Which one of us? For both of you. I'm quitting. There are different classes of boats based on size. No, that's great news No, it's bad news because here's what the classes are boat Boatie McBoatface. It's worse than that Mike You've got class a class one class two class get out of here call it a sedan or something Yeah, come up with a cool name. Yeah, we don't class one cars, class two cars. Yeah, that's stupid boat people. Respect your craft. Respect the boat. Here.

Here's my only concern with the post personal chauffeur situation. If I can speak properly, um, I would love that. I hate, I honestly would love to be driven everywhere that I ever go. I would make me, it would make me want to go to restaurants that are in downtown or in, like I don't like the driving to unknown areas for a long period of time. It's stressful. I don't like it.

I would love the chauffeur. I do worry I'd leave the dude sitting out front all the time. Like it would wear off. Like would I just, would you invent places you have to go to feel like the dude's not just sitting there? That's his job, man. To sit in the car?

Sit in the car. Oh, I would feel bad. Read a book, watch a movie. He's got a phone that's got Netflix on it. He's living his life in there. I'd probably send him on little. Oh, you're going to make him an errand boy for his? Yeah, that's not a show for.

That's an assistant. Right. Go pick up my dry cleaning. Do you want me to drive you there, sir? No, I want you to drive you there. Get out of the car. I won't be doing that. A mannequin of me would be put into the vehicle

when he does the errands. Does the mannequin get out and do the errands when you get there? Because I don't think it's going to work unless he's got to park and go do your bidding. No, no. Sir, sir, it's the mannequin again. He got me.

Yeah, I would go out there and I'd get in. I'd put the mannequin and then I'd sneak out. How many times can you trick him? And then I'd just get on the phone. I'd keep the thing down and get on the phone. Oh, like Fierce Bueller? Yeah, I'd be like, yeah, I'm back here. Good job.

I am totally in the back of his car. I just want to waste his gas. Yeah, maybe I should just let him sit out front. Keep driving. Sir, I can't drive anywhere. Keep driving. You guys want to give some life advice? Go west.

Sir, I'm parked. All right, we'll take a break. We'll jump into some life advice. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Every January brings you 365 Blake pages waiting to be filled. And this year, maybe you can take your life to the next level. It's not about resolutions made by February. It's about picking up the pen and becoming the author of your own life. And I'm talking about very helpful therapy. I have been in therapy for years. I hit 40 a couple years ago. I went through the quintessential midlife crisis and thought, you know what? I'm going to try therapy and it's been great for me through the ups, through the downs,

through good times and bad. It is so wonderful to have someone that you could talk to that can help you through anything. It's not all the bad stuff, it's motivation. It's bettering your own self and your life and help for the hard times. And BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient, serving over five million people worldwide. Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties

and you can easily switch therapists anytime at no cost. Write your story with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Ballers to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P, dot com slash Ballers. Spidmollers to the rescue. Well, if you know anything about us after 313 magnanimous episodes. And that conversation we just had. And that conversation. You know that we're in the business of helping you improve your life, dishing out tough answers to tough questions.

But we're willing to tell you the truth. And that's what we do here. Landon from Patreon, probably a really important question from Landon. I've been parking in the same parking spot at a parking meter that has been broken for months. Now it's suddenly fixed and I have a ticket. How do I argue my case of historical precedent

or do I just pay up and move on? I just love the, and now it's suddenly fixed. This was- How dare someone do their job. Yeah, this is- you're on the hook, my man. I love the idea of you going to court on historical precedent. There might be a case after a certain amount of time. Please.

But it can't be historical precedent of it being broken I think president president of like this was always a spot. I was a lot of parking. It's fine Historical precedent would be like I show up and I'm like I got away with 30 murders You never caught me for any of those I'm gonna be the devil's advocate for you All right. Because I think if you have tried to apply this and you took it from how long did he say? He said the month, months, right? 10 years, 10 years, same parking spot, same parking meter, broken for 10 years. Don't you have an argument against the city? Doesn't

the city have an argument that you owe them a lot of money? Yeah. It's like, I don't want to bring that up. You just keep that on the hunt. Yeah, you pay the fine and then move on. This is a risk reward. Yeah, you stole for a long time. You got away with it. What is it?

Don't cry because it's gone. You know, like, laugh because you got to enjoy it. Ironically, I think the quote you're looking for. Do I have it backwards? It's somewhat similar, but it does come from a doctor that's not a doctor. Really? Yeah, I think so.

What's the quote? Well, now that you've said it wrong, I can't think of it. It's like, don't be upset it's over, be happy that it happened or something. You can Google it. I'm looking it up. I'm pretty sure I basically said that um close enough but that's so that's the answer yeah no just be thankful for the time you didn't pay also now the ticket might amount to more than all the

parking meter fees combined that's the unfortunate part also now land in break it what do we think about part I don right cry don't cry because it's over smile because it happened yeah yeah from a doctor that's not a doctor what did I say I was really close to who's the doctor are you oh what do we think of the parking meter thing it feels antiquated to me. Parking meters feel like, I don't know. It's like it's a city, right? Yes.

It doesn't seem antiquated. I mean, the actual device could be antiquated, but that makes complete sense to me. There should be parking meters for areas to incentivize people not staying past a certain time and to pay for the area. Or carpooling. You've got to maintain the streets and everything. You guys are both big parking meter. Got it. Love it. to incentivize people not staying past a certain time and to pay for the area. You gotta maintain the streets and everything.

You guys are both big parking meter, got it. Love it. But they're no longer, put your quarters in, everything is now on the app. Is it a different cost per class of car? Class one, class two cars, class three cars, class four cars? You're thinking of boats.

But if you do park a boat there, it's more expensive. It is. To pay five meters? Yeah. Here's one thing, and I hate to admit this, but I have had this thought many times, and this reminds me of it. You know the cameras, the speed cameras? Yeah.

They're going to catch you speeding, they're going to take your photo, you're going to get the ticket in the mail. And now I know at least where we live in Arizona, they've been found, I don't know, unlawful or something. Unconstitutional. Unconstitutional, and so they're not here anymore. But I never understood, like I hate them, I hate them, you know me, I like to speed, but why are those not allowed?

That should be totally allowed. Because you have to face your accuser. They've got photographs. I mean, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You're telling me we don't use video evidence in court? Sometimes. You go to court. Sometimes you can't.

It's inadmissible. I'm just saying it's so silly where it's like, I have proof that you are breaking the law. But do you? Yeah. Did it you? Yeah. Did it malfunction? Yeah, is that, is it blurry? I mean, let's say it's a crystal clear picture of you.

But let's say that you're like, no, the machine's broke. Part of it is the subjectivity of speeding. Because there are situations where you're supposed to be going the flow of traffic. There are situations where you're supposed to be, maybe you're evading something that you need to evade. The nuance is what breaks it a little bit. There is a controversy right now, a cash grab,

some people are claiming, of people getting, they're getting tickets for passing school buses via video. So the school buses have video on them, and they have their sign out, which you're supposed to stop behind them. And if anybody passes those, they are getting... They're getting the same thing, like snapshot it and getting sent a ticket.

Correct. I don't have a problem with that. You don't mind it. They should stop if you have proof that they didn't stop. They still have red light tickets. Yes. So apparently that one's okay. Yeah, that's what I'm saying, it makes no sense.

I think speeding is just a little more subjective than passing a... 100% of people aren't supposed to pass that bus. 100% of people can't run a red light. But some people can change their speed. Yeah, I guess that's fair, it is weirdly subjective. I guess they probably don't send them out unless you're way faster though.

It's so funny because we've got to this point, I'm teaching my kids how to drive, and I'm like, the first rule is you never go the speed limit. Like, it's dangerous. If it's a 40 mile an hour, if it's 40 miles an hour, it is dangerous to drive 40 miles an hour, because no one else on that road is driving 40 miles an hour.

I tell them five over, and it's like, that's so dumb. Like, we should have a speed limit that's like the speed you should drive. Almost like the word limit? That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. But I feel like it would be better for a police officer to give someone a ticket driving 40 than 45.

One is far more dangerous. I've seen videos of police officers pulling over left lane people that are going the speed limit, but impeding traffic because it's a passing lane and because it's a fast lane. And there's some areas that have minimums too. Really? Yeah, I've never seen that.

There's speed limit and speed minimum. It's pretty rare, but I've seen it. I mean, that's what they, they should literally just have speed minimum, speed limit, and then- Too much, too much for people. But then it's like, but you have to actually do that. Are there any speed limits with boats on the water? No, you can't catch me

Uh-huh with your your boat club there are there actually are oh, I mean there isn't like the weight is a harbor No, there's like if I'm on the ocean. There's individual. Yes, if it's a lake then the lake authorities set speed limits. Yes Huh Lake Tahoe has speed limits. So are they out there with the laser guns and everything? Yes. Why, I don't believe you. Yeah, they're monitoring them. Yeah, oh, they keep it locked down.

They also put buoys that are related to speeds. So if you're within five miles of shore, there's a speed limit that you must maintain. Okay, it makes sense. By the shore makes sense. It's a little more free out there, but you do have to follow the rules. Yeah, but international waters, you're good, Jay.

There are no laws. Open it up. Kelly from the website, my neighbor, oh, this is a good one. My neighbor has a very loud wind chime that keeps me awake on windy nights. How do I get rid of it without a confrontation? The problem, Kelly, with trying to get rid of it without confrontation is that she very likely, he

or she who has the wind chime, will purchase another wind chime. Yeah, they'll put it back up. If you take it down, they'll get a new one. Unless you want to do this. I mean, three or four wind chimes break, maybe they stop. That's fair. Drain the bank account. My wind chimes keep breaking. But do you take the risk? Let's just play this out. Let's say that the avenue you want to go is I want to just

get rid of that wind chime. I want to break it. It's vandalism. It's vandalism, right. A little B&E. Well, if you're on the property, right? Yeah. I think it is.

Is it? I think if someone comes on my porch. If you jump someone's fence and you're in their backyard, right? Is that, I think it is. Is it? I think if someone comes on my porch. If you jump someone's fence and you're in their backyard, is that a B and E? I think that's a B and E. You didn't break nothing. That's a J and E. Yeah, I jumped it.

Wait, wait, what's the E part? Entry. Oh. Breaking an entry, right? I don't know. Breaking an entry. Papa Josh says just trespassing. So this would be jumping an entry.

So trespassing. You're just trespassing. Anyways, okay, so is just trespassing. So this would be jumping and entering. So trespassing. You're just trespassing. Anyways, okay, so a little trespassing. You go on their porch. Little teepee. And you decide, I want to destroy this wind chime. Do you take the approach of the risk of getting caught walking to the wind chime, going up,

maybe jumping that backyard fence, and walking up the porch to take it down or to break it. Or do you try to do it from distance? Oh, distance would be like a BB gun? You break all the little glass pieces? Maybe a frisbee. I figured it out. You jump the fence.

You bring over some of that spray glue. This thing ain't blowing in the wind, man. Ooh. You just spray every angle. And they never know. Yeah, they don't know it's not. I mean, what's there? Well, who's going up and in the wind, man. You just spray every angle. And they never know. Yeah, they don't know it's not... Because it's there. Who's going up and hitting the wind chime?

It's like, is there a way you can at least just dampen the sound? Like... I mean, like... Just replace it with cotton swabs or what? No, like where they hit. Yeah, just spray the thing, man. Just... spray glue makes a lot of sense to me. Now you do have to jump the fence to do this.

Yeah, I mean it is. Or you could build a device. Like a long tube? Yeah, you could build a device and get that applied over there. What if you fought fire with fire and you bought four wind chimes? Bigger wind chimes?

You're gonna sleep poorly. For a bit, for a time. Or. What if the neighbor loves it? They're like, oh, I'm getting more too. Cause they're into wind chimes. Yeah, then you've started a wind chime. I feel like there are people that are wind chime people

and people that aren't. I think that is true, however. Are you wind chime people? We have a chime. All right. How loud is it? Is this a letter from somebody you know? No, it is, it's not egregious.

Yeah, I don't think I would buy a wind chime. However, I kind of inherited a place that had wind chimes before I got there. And you're feeling it. You're feeling them? I love them! Yeah, wind chimes are great! And it's funny, because I can hear them when I sleep.

I like them. But it doesn't bother me. I guess I'm a wind chime person. Yeah, you don't have to have really loud ones, but just a little bit of. Can you check under your hat real quick, Jay? Oh no. Is there something underneath your hat?

Let me just see, point the hat towards me. Oh, you took the piece of paper out of the hat? Because there's some plastic on the front of the hat still. Look at that. And I didn't know if you had pulled a new hat out and. I did pull a new hat out and I missed a piece of plastic. Thanks. I was just so hopeful that the big cardboard piece was on the inside of the hat.

I think I would feel that. You love wind chimes too? Yeah. Papa John? I do, man. There are some really good quality sounding wind chimes out there. It feels good, man. It's good energy.

Could anybody program a wind chime to play a song? Of course. You could? No. Like the theme from Lord of the Rings? You can't control the wind. If it was hit, if the wind hit it, it would proceed through sounds? That's going to be hard.

That's not a wind chime. That's a wind tube chime? I thought you meant just like make sure that there are all the notes so it could be a familiar melody. I know you can play like the ball rolling down the hill hitting chimes to play a whole song. That's just not a wind chime. I don't know.

I remember which country did it. But they put essentially, I think it was to help with speeding. They put a bunch of raised portions. Not a speed bump, just like a tiny little thing. Yeah, the cutout divots, but it plays songs. And if you're going the proper speed, then it will do the frequencies and it will play a song.

Yeah. That's fun. Yeah. I want to go the right speed. That's amazing. He'd try to play it in 2X. He'd be trying to get the songs. This song sounds way better sped up.

Yeah, the sped up version. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do. You would just try to get it on beat, which is out of respect. Have you guys seen the parking lots that have speed bumps that aren't speed bumps? They just paint a yellow strip. Oh, to pump fake you?

To pump fake you. Oh. It works, man. You slow down, but then it's nice. You roll over and you're like, okay. I did see that they were cutting grooves, tons of little grooves into intersections now because of these takeovers that are happening

where people are spinning their cars out in intersections. Have you seen that? No, is that like a new thing? No, that's a thing that people- What, just doing donuts in the middle of it? A whole group of people with- No, they are not. Yes, a whole group of people with their cars will go and spin donuts and take over an intersection.

They're called intersection takeovers. That's not a thing? And now they're having to take by the cities are buying giant machinery to cut grooves so that the spinning won't work. Can we stop? Go Google it. Intersection takeovers. This is why we can't have nice things.

Why do people suck? Yeah, it's a thing. And now the cities are having to pay money. Oh my gosh. It's a thing. Yeah. LA cities are having to pay money. Oh my gosh, it's a thing. Yeah, LA I think is where they're happening. No. Fort Wayne as well. The first one I see is pumping the brakes on intersection

takeovers in the valley. So that's here. Yeah, it's everywhere, man. Take them over. Just take them over and spin around. Oh my gosh, the video of this is insane. Yeah. There's just someone.

They're just doing donuts? Just doing donuts at an intersection. How do they not get caught? So now they're having to cut up the intersection so that those aren't viable. I'm guessing, unless you had a cop just sitting there, you could do that for a while and then leave and be fine. This is just insane.

What's your goal? To be an idiot. Your goal is just be obnoxious? That's wow that's so bizarre to me So bizarre. All right. I think it's probably Time to jump into our draft. Oh, not a doctor. Let's take a break first The Spitballers Draft. For whatever reason, I was so close to not remembering that there was a back end to that ad break music and I almost just overrode.

Oh, brings us back in. All right, we are drafting doctors that aren't doctors, and Jason, with his beautiful, amazing scat, earned himself the number one spot in the draft, so batter up. Yeah, I'm not sure this is the best draft to have, the 101, but. Oh, it's the best. You think so?

No. Okay, yeah. I don't know, you know, there's a lot of, I've got at least 15, 16 doctors on my list here. My list is so big. But I don't want you to forget about this guy. Yeah, okay. It seems like the number one.

I think it's the one on one. It's Dr. Dre. Yes. Okay. Everybody forgot about Dre, and he's doing all right for himself now. So, the doctor. Okay. All right. You don't like Dr. Dre? I like it. I like Dr. now. So, the doctor. Okay. All right.

You don't like doctor? I like it. No, it's fine, it's fine. It was one of my, you know, like, in Smash glass picks. Oh, that's top of the list. Okay, well then you'll bring it. Yeah, let's hear this great doctor

who's not a doctor, Andy. I only got one pick right now, right? So, I'll go with Dr. Seuss. Dr. Seuss is the number one pick. That was my number two. And also that is the quote yeah that's why I figured that out halfway through. Wow. I'm going Dr. Seuss. Okay well I'm a little surprised you bypassed this one so I'm going to take it. There is a man in a very famous trilogy in that show in the movies he's just called Doc. Oh my gosh

whoa he's not on my list. Because he's Dr. Emmett called doc. Oh my gosh. Well. He's not on my list He's dr. Emmett Brown, baby. Oh my god honestly invented time travel. I will I'll be honest with you I did not think that that one was a lot. Oh no that is a scientist. He's a doctor He's a scientist. He's a doctor though in the show He's a scientist. In the movie? What what doctor? A doctor? A scientist. A doctor. Yeah, a scientist. He practices with his degree. Science!

I'm so confused with this. Dude, that's a great pick. That's a great pick. We're on the same page. Doc Brown. Yeah, I mean, okay. Yeah, he's not doing medicine. He's doing time travel. Yeah. And then the next one.

I'm so confused. Medical doctors who aren't real doctors. So you only meant doctors that don't practice medicine. Maybe you should have told me that. OK, new draft. Doctors. It says it right there, doctors that aren't doctors. That's what that means.

That is what that means. Anyone have a doctor here? No. Emmett Bram would not stand up. No, he would not. No, I can't give you the Heimlich. I can fix the plane. Right.

Do you need to go back in time? All right. A man. Where am I going to go here? No. If he picks the best medical doctor right now, I'm going to lose my mind. Dr. Quinn, medicine woman.

No. Funny enough, this character is also in a trilogy. And he's always trying to get either a million dollars or $100 million. He puts the pinky up. It's Dr. Evil, baby. Very good. OK, a couple movie characters.

Yeah. Nice, Dr. Brown, Dr. Evil. Pretty sure he was a real medical doctor, though. So I mean, I never saw him prescribed, but just has that aura about him. Dr. Pepper. Oh no that was my next pick! That was my next pick for sure. Is that because it comes in a can? Dr. Pepper. The Dr. Pepper people by the way, voracious. I have I just had this conversation with my daughter too because they don't

nobody kind of likes Dr. Pepper. My children- You either love it or you don't drink it. My children are Dr. Pepper people. They are, huh? And one of my best friends is Dr. Pepper person. Are they Mr. Pib people? I thought you were gonna say,

what am I best friend is Dr. Pepper? It's Dr. Pepper. There's gotta be someone out there, right? There has to be someone out there whose last name is Pepper. Of course. Who got a doctorate and he's Dr. Pepper. Now is he an MD or a? Does he have to pay to put his sign up?

I'm sorry, that's trademarked. It's a cease and desist. I would be making my word mark look so similar to the can. Oh, for sure. Come to Dr. Pepper's. But the Dr. Pepper people are. They're outrageous. You're weirdos.

You read Hot Dr. Pepper? That's the next level of those weirdos hot. Dr. Pepper All right, two picks. Mr. Dre. It is good though. How dr. Pepper? It's not that bad I mean, it's full of sugar like of course it's gonna taste good But but I mean like it's hot enough. They is hot they use it in a crock pot is hot coke not good Yeah, hot coke Pepsi Probably. Oh, that's weird. I thought you just stopped short on saying cocoa. You're saying hot Coca Cola.

I'm like, hot cocoa's great. What are you talking about? Hot Coca, you know, I don't remember the rest of the word. Dr. Dre's your first pick. You get two in a row, Jason. All right. I've got a real person in Dr. Dre. I'm going to go with a-human person for my next one. I'm taking Dr. Strange.

Okay. I'm gonna travel in time. I am the most, what do you call it, uneducated person on the planet about who Dr. Strange is. Oh really? You've never seen the movies? You've never got down with the multiverse of madness? So I never saw any of his movies. The Doctor Strange movies. I seen the Avengers where he's in them, and he's doing stuff, and I don't know what he's doing.

It's funny because if you haven't seen The Sorcerer's Supreme, the Doctor Strange movies, his character is probably super weird in The Avengers. I did see a video of him filming that movie and trying- Landing on the snow? Trying to be, and it took him hours, because he couldn't and trying... Landing on the snow? Trying to be... and it took him hours because he couldn't land it without slipping on the snow. Which for the

people at home, they're like, he was a real doctor. Yes. He was a medical doctor. At one point and then he broke his hands and then he became the Sorcerer Supreme. Yeah. He's no longer a doctor. Yeah, I mean he's not taking any... He's living in the past. He's not taking any new clients. You cannot see anymore he cannot handle this don't get it and we are we're locked in it makes complete makes me feel it's just doctors who aren't doctors that's all it is if he's got doctor in his name he's not practicing medicine it's it's doctors who aren't practicing medicine and can't and don't practice medicine that's what it is.

Oh no, Matt's got a good point. If you were on a plane and someone said, is there a doctor on board? He would stand up. Oh shoot, he would totally stand up. Yeah, buddy. But to be fair, to be fair, if they were on a plane and you said, is there a doctor on board? Tony Stark would stand up.

No. Oh, he would. Tony Stark would stand up and say, would have Tony Stark would not as I got no but he would say I got this look Yeah, but he said on a plane is a doctor on board. You're ruining the argument and he stands up We were locked he is now saying I'm not in this draft. So he stands up and goes don't draft Okay, so my is sorcerer supreme gone. I'm need to pivot to a different doctor? Let these guys decide. I don't really care. The judges, the inducers, Ali, you guys get to decide. Doctor Strange counts or doesn't? Doesn't.

He's an actual doctor. Yeah. I was fine with him moving on, but since we earlier in the show set the bar. Yeah, we did say the play. As long as you trip over your own stupid rules sometimes. Yeah. No, I mean, look, rules are rules. I'm happy to abide by it.

All right, who's the next one? Well, you got to do two more. Yeah, I got to do two more. I'm going to go Dr. J. Dang it! Dr. Julius Irving. Perfect. Famous basketball player.

Great. I wanted him. It also rhymes with Dr. Dre. So you have Dr. Dre and Dr. J. Dr. Dre. I should have had Dr. Seuss, because it would have been a theme you know He likes to rhyme

Suce rhymed with J or Dre so Everybody got it. No. All right, so I got I got one more pick. Here's the doctor at Dunk and Your prescription I'm going to... Posterized. Since I can't take Tony Stark... Are you out? I can't take Tony Stark...

He's not Dr. Stark. He's not Dr. Iron Man. But I can get Dr. Dolittle. Yeah, that's fine. There we go, I get Robert Downey Jr. Was he Dr. Dolittle? Yesey jr. Dr. Little. Yes. He was dr. Nobody saw Oh, you were the one at home. No at home. Okay, this was this was streaming Oh who's typing these in my favorite part is he spelled his name do space little

Did we do little dr. Do little he does nothing does Jack squat Josh? I don't think he is actually is he actually a vet? Oh, no, well, that's not a doctor But then he have a doctorate and then transition to animals cuz then that's we're gonna let him go All right, he's not real cuz animals can't talk. He's pretend. We'll let it happen the you know that dr. Strange doesn't have magic, right the anyways like Doctor Strange doesn't have magic, right? Anyways, why would you name your character Doolittle? Because that's the joke, that they do little.

Is it? It's funny. Yeah. Doctor Doolittle. He's like, ha ha, that guy who talks to animals, is that funny? At that, when it was invented, that was what funny was. That must be an old character.

My selection here, I will go with one of my favorite characters on any movie ever, and historically, mostly how he's portrayed in movies. I'm going Doc Holliday. Okay. I'm going Doc Holliday to Gunslinger. Oh my gosh, I would have taken him for sure. He wasn't on my list.

Yeah, no, you would do a little. What a great pick, Doc Holliday? Yeah, yours talks to racco on my list. Yeah, no, you would do a little. What a great pick. Doc Holliday? Yeah, yours talks to raccoons and stuff. Mine, OK Corral. Oh. Doc Holliday. Baby, great pick.

See, you act like you don't understand this draft. You're doing great. All right. Dang it. Yeah, I think he got that name because at one point in time, he did some dental work. There ain't no way that's a, he ain't no practicing medicinal doctor.

Also a dentist does not stand up. No, if they stand up, sir, you need to sit down immediately. If he was a good doctor. You need to jump off the plane. It's just man's heart is stopped. He doesn't have a cavity. He couldn't help his own tuberculosis, I know that. Yeah, he needed a doctor.

He's just a doc. I'm your Huckleberry. Alright. Mike, two picks. Dr. Brown, Dr. Evil so far. So, this guy definitely not a doctor, just masqueraded as one. At one point in his career. Because he's a plumber. Oh yeah. Dr. Mario. What was that all about?

Yeah, I think Nintendo. What are you doing? We got this plumber he goes to Mushroom Kingdom. He stays the princess. Oh also he's a doctor What is that? They you know, they took liberties. Yeah, they also rides a dinosaur. Um, yeah Mike one more but that but that's in a different land. With a long tongue. Yeah, with a voracious appetite. Mike, you have one more pick.

I get one more pick. Oh, man. Man, I'm seeing a theme here. It's a lot of bad guys. Oh, the doctors are evil? A lot of bad guys. Like, Dr. Evil? Yeah. I've got a theme here. It's a lot of bad guys. Oh the doctors are evil a lot of bad guys like doctor evil Yeah, I've got a few I'm gonna know where you're going now Yeah, I'm gonna take that one. I'm gonna see the man. Oh good you next time dr. Claw go

Baby good that's fair that inspector gadget. He was always up to his is no good hijinks Is it back to me Yes, oh man, that's impressive. You do a good doctor clock. Um, I'm also the diamond Okay, baby, um, all right, dr. Seuss dr. Pepper doc holiday And you know what just because it'll annoy you guys guys, this will give me no votes, maybe from the... It will only annoy me if they would stand up as a doctor. It's Doc Gooden. I'm taking Doc Gooden's famous picture of the New York Mets. Oh! Never heard of him.

Yeah, if I had a cricket sound effect I would play it. It brings me more joy that you haven't, because you're both so stupid. Was he playing with the old curly mustache guy? Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Doc Gooden's a pick. Oh Okay, he playing with babe Ruth. I said I didn't expect either of you to appreciate I just thought you're not my and I wouldn't appreciate it not that no one on the planet Earth Well Doc's ancestors, they really like it. Yeah. Doc Gooden pitched when we were growing up. Grunkle probably loves that pick.

That's for Grunkle. All right, round it out, Jay. Who do you have? All right, well, right now I've got Dr. Dre, Dr. Jay, and Dr. Doolittle. I'm deciding between two here. But I'm going to take the heart wants what the heart wants It's what man. It's really similar to Andy's and that it's not

It's not a vote-getter, but I was a humongous Animaniacs fan growing up. I'm taking dr. Scratch's sniff I'm taking Dr. Scratchensniff. Yeah. Dr. Otto Scratchensniff. Oh. Oh baby. Yeah. I don't know who that.

You just insulted me for knowing who you're talking about. Mike knows every reference known to me and Mike doesn't know who it is. I don't know the name. Let me look it up. It's probably 50%. What animal is it? It's not an animal. It's a man. Oh no, no. I know who this is. I don't know the name. Let me look it up. It's probably 50%. What animal is it? It's not an animal.

It's a man. Oh, no, no. I know who this is. Yeah. I didn't know his name was Dr. Scratchensniff, but I know who he is. You and Animaniacs were a match made in heaven. Animaniacs was sensational.

Spielberg. I mean, you know. This draft did fall apart. Josh is top tier. Just so I have an answer over there. It's between Scratchensniff and Dr. Scholes. Oh, Dr. Scholes. Dr. Scholes, I think, was a real doctor.

Yeah, but I'm taking the brand. Yeah. Brand's not a doctor. Dr. Jackal, Dr. Who, Dr. Frankenstein. Oh, Dr. Who? Yeah. Oh, big man. I didn't watch the show.

I chose Doc Gooden because I know him. I never saw Dr. Who. I didn't watch Dr. Who either. I thought about taking it for the vote. My wife watched. I knew that would be a huge vote getter, but I've never seen it. Had Dr. Robotnik.

Yeah. Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Who's that? From Brother of Scratches. That's Phineas and Ferb, man. Oh, OK. That's a good name. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is fantastic.

Some doctors have weird names. And then Dr. Roxel. OK. Dr. Frankenstein. is fantastic. Some doctors have weird names. And then Dr. Roxo. Okay. Dr. Frankenstein, is that a doctor? Is that a real doctor? I mean, he wasn't the monster. And then Dr. Muro. He did bring someone to life though.

Dr. Muro? Somebody who was already dead. That's more of a mortician. Dr. Muro? Dr. Muro, the island of Dr. Muro. Yeah, so he's a real doctor? I don't think so. He's a scientist, whatever. Dr. Moreau? The island of Dr. Moreau? Yeah. Is he a real doctor? I don't think so. He's a scientist. Ah, whatever.

So yeah. Anybody we forgot back there, do you sure? I'm sure. Dr. Do, Mike? Yeah, he is on the list. He is on my list. Yeah, that's better than good. Anybody call just the Doc?

Doc. Also, Dr. Who? Doc Brown. Is Dr. Who an actual doctor? No. I don't know. I've never watched the show. Did you watch Doc. Also, Doctor Who? Yeah, Doc Brown. Is Doctor Who an actual doctor? No. I don't know. I've never watched the show. Did you watch Doctor Who, Josh?

No, I've never seen it. Who is watching Doctor Who? My wife. Oh, everybody. Everybody that I don't know. Everybody in Britain. Everybody in Britain. But they-

It's a British show. I know people are watching. Yeah, it's very, very popular. But I don't know who they're, and there's like a bajillion episodes, right? Yeah, and there's different doctors. They've had like actors change. Yeah, because that's how old the show is.

They've had like ten of them. What did we learn today? Oh my gosh, so much. I learned so much about how little I know about how to draft. I learned that you can get a speeding ticket on a lake. And I learned we need to fix the doctorate versus doctor issue. Yeah. Let's get our top people on this.

I still think the non-MDs need just lowercase letters in front, because they'll never claim it. I'll just be Ted. It's embarrassing. Yeah. Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye. See you next week.

Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.