Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 314: Croc Talk & The Most Annoying Sounds - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: February 3, 2025

It’s time to get down on some serious Croc Talk on today’s episode, followed up by some hilarious Is This Real Life before heading into a Most Annoying Sounds draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

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50% off plus free shipping on your first box. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. HEEEYAAAAAAA! What? There it is. There it is. I got the layup today, boys. There it is. Oh there it is I got the layup today boys there was you were a real donkey there

It's the last skit I That's great. I think he just killed it I Felt like I got the lab because today on the show our draft is the most annoying sounds So I feel like I had a quick pathway to how dare you say that about our mule friends Mule friends. Yeah, I mean I didn't know what sound I was gonna make apparently I went to Hey, oh At least you went for it. The sound effect was full go. Yeah, I you know, we're drafting the most annoying sounds I wanted to set the table, and I think I did. We have one.

I'm seeing that Al is updating us that he had a donkey take a dump in his front yard last night. No, you didn't. Of course he did. He lives in the. There's wild donkeys out there. They take huge dumps, too. What, did you watch it?

Like, you saw it happen live, or you found the dump? No, I got up to go to my car this morning and found a big pile. That was me. Oh yeah. That was me. Impressive. He's been in bulk season. I haven't gone in a while and I came by your house and thought I'd leave you a little treat.

He's going to think this is a donkey. That's just crazy. For people listening, they're like, where does owl live? Right. Where you can just wake up and it was like, that's a donkey dump right in my front yard. He lives in a neighborhood. That's the shock. I can drive to my house from here faster

than you can get to yours. Yeah, that's true. Oh my gosh. But you wanna know what I don't have on my front yard? Donkey dumps. I'm just saying I'm not out in the boonies anywhere. Right.

It's the boonies, but there's a freeway that's a direct shot there, cause that freeway needs to connect us to our friends to the north Yeah of Arizona, and then you guys were like what if we just what we're like right in the middle of desert fun fact I'll also ran over ten families of Avalina once that's true. That's true because he lives in The desert you know look everybody listening you've been on a road trip before. You've gone between major cities where there's nothing for hours. And then every now and then, there's an outlet mall.

You know what I mean? Like you're just like, oh, there's all these shops that are supposed to be way cheaper. People could drive hours. So once upon a time where Al lives, there was an outlet mall there, and then they decided to put some houses by it. But they did not move out the donkeys. No, they kept the- You have to herd the donkeys out before you build a neighborhood.

Oh man, I love making fun of where Owl lives. It's like an infestation. See, aren't you happy that I- Yes, now I'm thrilled about the donkey start. Would you rather is this real life than we're drafting the most annoying sounds on today's episode of The Spitballers. Thank you for joining us.

Thank you for following the show, leaving your reviews, some easy ways you can help support this independent podcast. We appreciate you. Let's kick it off. Would you rather? All right, we have a would you rather question coming in from our Patreon page. That darling kid says, when driving, would you rather have no ability to know the current

time, or no ability to know your current speed? And there's no loopholes, no autopilot. So you can't know your speed Or you cannot know the time Okay, so obviously both are important when you're traveling to a destination I mean sometimes time doesn't matter because you're just going to the grocery store or whatever doesn't matter what time you get there But a lot of times you're going to work got to be there by 8 You're going to you know, the the the school play got to be there by 645 or whatever so that's important and obviously

Speed limit is important. You don't get pulled over you don't want to be driving poorly Let me start the question Mike with how in tune At this point in time are you with your speed on the road like how? Like if you had to guess it at all times, do you feel like you'd be within a few miles? I think I could be within five. I feel like I could too. I would be shocked if any of us who have driven for half of our lives

would not be within five on any of our guesses at any time. Yeah, so we're pretty, like, not knowing your speed if it comes down to five mile an hour difference in either direction is irrelevant. Uh, no, because if you're going 50 in a 45 and you're like, I, you're like, no, I'm going a certain, how would it be over? It wouldn't bother me at all.

So what you're saying is if you think you're going 46 in a 40 and you're off by five and you're actually going 51. Yeah, that's a problem. You'll get pulled over. But that means you're off by more than five. Because you were trying to go 40. No, he was trying to go 46 in a 40. So he was off by five, he was 51.

I didn't think I was going 40. Why were you trying to go 46 in a 40? That's your problem to begin with. What are you talking? What are you driving a 40? If I didn't to begin with. What are you talking about? What are you driving a 40? If I didn't know the speed... No, what do you drive right now? No, no, no. Let me just answer the question.

If I didn't know, because I couldn't read it, I would always try to go the exact speed limit. That's what my point was. That makes sense. Then at worst I'm off five in either direction. I cannot get a ticket. I have taught my children that going the exact speed limit is a danger because it is dangerous. All the cars around you are driving faster than you and needing to overtake you. So I would feel safe to speed up then

if I had a bunch of cars going faster. Yeah, I mean, I guess really you're totally alone. By the way, I did confirm with your family that your little scenario with your son learning to drive was as traumatizing as you described on this podcast. Yeah, yeah. Has he driven since then? He has driven, but I have to make him drive now.

And every time it's like you want to. All because you couldn't control your bowels. Yeah, I would say mostly because I couldn't control my bowels. There was a. You got progressively more desperate as the drive went along and then it became More intense for him at least 10% is my decision to have him drive when I knew This could be a situation where I gotta speed up that part was on me. Yeah, the others were on my bowels, but

yeah, I mean and and then I do check the clock a lot because we're a family of five with a lot of obligations. So it is common and frequent that we are running late. I guess, I guess what I... Yeah, but that's, that's not the clock's fault. Here's what's funny about the clock part of the question. You cannot really do anything about it. I don't know if I see that it looks like I'm you know it's it's like a 10 minutes away and it and it and I'm and it's I'm gonna be two minutes late okay yeah that gas pedal

gets a little heavy. Yesterday I was 20 miles away from someplace and my ETA said I'd be there three minutes late. I tried my best to get there on time I got there one two minutes late. Oh you didn't try your best then? No like because when you actually break down the truth about going that fast and how much time you're actually making up it's it's fractions it's not a lot. You guys don't go fast enough. No, I'm telling you, I shave off five minutes of every ETA I've ever driven in my life. Not on surface streets. You're dependent on other cars in the way.

No, no, not on surface streets. Just freeway driving, I agree, you can improve your time. You can. And lower your odds of survival. But yeah, it'd be like the amount of that you are, the amount of trouble and peril that you are bringing into the world versus saving five minutes. Leave five minutes earlier.

Well, that is, yeah, I do like being early. Like you guys are, are you early people? Are you late people? We're usually 10 minutes early people. I am, I am an on- You with your family is not an early person. I am an on-time early person. No. You is not an on-time person. I am an on-time early person. No.

You guys should like, having worked with me for long enough, you know I am an on-time person. My family? Not so much. So then are you in panic? Is it painful? It must be excruciating. No, it is the worst.

I can relate a lot because I do not like being late to places. It is the worst. It's an indictment on you. It didn't matter enough or whatever. And it's like, usually it goes something like this, like, finish your hair already in the house. Like, just it's, I think. I mean, look, it's not.

I've had too many of those. Now I just sit quiet. I mean, like, and I go, I mean look, it's not. I've had too many of those. Now I just sit quiet and be like, and I go, we really need to go. What I. We really need to go. And then you put the GPS in, you're like, and we're 15 minutes late. My usual, my usual family, you know,

if the girl side of my family is involved, we are gonna put that GPS in, and we are going to be 10 minutes late, and we will arrive five minutes early. My man, let's go. But you're not making a 15 minutes. That's a slight exaggeration. But we're just massive exaggeration.

It's not as massive as you believe. Yes, you can't make a 15 minutes. Oh, man. How many miles away would you have to get? Most of it. I mean, that has to be like a 50-mile trip. Most of our trips are like 30 minutes to an hour. I don't go anywhere nearby with the kids.

Everything is far enough to shave time off. A 30-minute time, he's going to make up half of it. Well, no. That's what I said. That's exacter. Even an hour trip, you're not making a 15. Well, you know what? Oh, yes I am!

No, you are not. On the freeway, you go like 75, so he's going 150 to make up half the time. Yeah, exactly. The math checks out. I will take rules of physics that say no. I will take not knowing my speed, because if there is variability anyways, where

the speed of traffic matters more than the number exactly, and my experience in driving, I'm definitely, I feel like I'm going to get where I need to go, how fast I need to go all the time, and I'd like to know the time. I really like shaving numbers off. So I enjoy the time. I look at the time a lot more than the speed limit. So. Clearly. I'm going, I'm going to know my speed. Because for time it's, yeah, when you get in the car, oh, I'm going to check. Now I'm obsessing over it.

But as long as you either leave on time and you get there on time, or you leave on time and you end up late. No, I left 15 minutes earlier than I was supposed to. You do know what time it is when you get in the car. The clock is really, I mean, all of us should be taking, we should know the speed limit and not take the time. That's why I did.

Can I go to a follow-up question around lateness? Yeah, we will allow it. Here's the thing. I always want to be early. My family gets annoyed sometimes because, I don't know, we get there five minutes early and that's annoying for them to wait the five minutes for something to start. I don't understand why. But that's annoying for them to wait the five minutes for something to start. Oh my God.

I don't understand why. But that's the way it works. But I don't feel like anybody doesn't hold somebody accountable for being late no matter what the circumstance. Like if you leave early and you run into bad traffic, you might get there on time. If you leave at the exact time you need to leave and you run into traffic, you're late. And when you show up late, I feel like 100% of people are like, it's your fault.

Even if it wasn't your fault, even if an accident happens and it truly really wasn't your fault, I feel like we all hold everyone accountable for being late, is that wrong? I think that it is wrong that everyone does do that. It is not wrong that it feels like everyone does. And I think maybe that's inside ourself. It really is, because you're like,

how dare you do this to me? How dare you be five minutes late for my time? I bring it up because yesterday my son started another sports program, and all the kids were there, and the coach was five minutes late to show up. Oh, you can't be late. The coach can't be late. The coach can't be late. The coach lives over an hour away.

There's construction on the freeway. They make it within five minutes. Every parent was furious for five minutes. Yeah, because you're paying money. Yeah, that's right. Did he go five over? That I don't know. Oh, so that's everything.

We got to track the coaches. Got it. If you show up five minutes late and you're like, I'm't know. That's everything. We got to track the coaches. If you show up five minutes late, and you're like, I'm so sorry, this, OK, give me my five minutes on the back end, and everything's fine. If you're in charge, it makes a big difference. If you're an employee, and you show up five minutes late, that is not good.

That is bad. If you're the pastor at a wedding, and you're there. Yeah, but if you're the manager who has to unlock the building for all the other employees who got there, and you show up late, that's straight Bush League. All the apologies don't seem to matter. No, they don't matter.

This is a good follow-up question, perfectly in sync. Jackson from the website, would you rather take a non-lethal bite by an alligator or a shark? Okay. Who's got? Feels easy.

Who's got more teeth? What's your default quick reaction? My quick reaction is definitely the alligator. That alligator is my quick response. Because size of alligators versus size of sharks, I mean, I guess I'm seeing a great white. I'm going great white shark. There's because-

That's what everyone sees. Okay, other sharks- But it's non-lethal. Other sharks, those hold on other struck stop it stop it what about the tiger shark no yeah it's not a shark there is it there is great kill people all the time yeah there's the great like a great it's a real big fish in that there's one shark we've I don't care how connected they are in their animal kingdoms we should have another name. There's one shark You just want a shark. Do you just call it a shark?

Yes a shark is a great white shark is the shark because if we're in the water and I go oh dude There's a shark. That's what you're thinking. Yeah hundred percent. Yeah, you're not like oh, that's a good brown shark I could be like I could be because there's tiny little shark. Oh yeah. They do nothing but it's a trick it's a trap when you say oh there's a shark over there yes you should you should react swiftly and get out of there because there's only one shark. When I by default think of a bite from both of those animals the bite from the shark is like the bite of a sandwich. The meat. Yes it's coming out. It's all gone. He's swallowing some of a sandwich. The meat, it's all gone. He's swallowing some of my body.

I will say this, I will say this. My vote would change to getting the shark bite if, because it's non-lethal, okay? So let's just say this, here's how the bite works. The mouth comes and it closes on your body. You get to even pick the spot, whatever, leg, belly, chest. You can pick it. It clamps down and then releases. Yes. So it does not clamp all the way down.

It doesn't take the chunk out because pretty much that's how you're going to die. This is non-lethal. So the teeth go in and then leave. That's when you got to pick shark because the cool leftover. Oh, if you had to show a star. If you had to show, the pattern of a shark bite looks like. It's a cool pattern. That's the sandwich bite. You know, you got like a look at this chunk.

And then it's like the alligator's like, what is that? Yeah. Because it's a long, narrow. Yeah, that shit looks different. Like I could get a shark. I should get a tattoo that looks like I've been bit by a shark. Oh, and tell, that's, I'll bet someone's done that.

I bet you're right. That's a good point. The shape of the scar, because you've survived it. The alligator though, when you think about getting bit by an alligator, you know you're getting spun into oblivion. I'm not counting those. So I think I'm getting a broken bone.

Yeah. I'm getting a dislocated shoulder. The alligator's bite is stronger. The PSI. I doubt it. I doubt it. I'm going gator on that one. No way.

Yeah. All right. If the gator's bite was as strong as a shark bite, it would then take the arm off. Who has more? It would take all the meat out. If a gator bit my thigh and a shark bit my thigh Wouldn't the higher psi take the chunk of music is it really psi before I ask this question. I'm pretty sure yes

Okay, all right, because you're measuring pressure No, I think it's the gate and it's the alligator Oh, it's yeah see now. Did you say shark or did you say great white cuz that's the conversation Well, there's only one shark. Yeah, but I'm not I don't know if Jeremy's on board. You know, there's only one shark I did know that but a great white has a stronger bite Yeah, exactly exactly a great white has a stronger bite than an alligator in terms of no I now if you just say a shark sure there's little ones that can nibble on you and you laugh and you take them off and You throw them back in the water

Is there any way that you would know like you'd have the wisdom if someone's like you're getting bit by an alligator or a crocodile Which one do you want? Is there any way that we would know? No impossible? No one of them's got a pointy nose But they both so the here's how I've always this is how I genuinely think what the difference is I? Don't think I ever heard this. I can't wait for this. I don't know that this is real, but. Just over the course of your life. Just over the course of my life. You have pieced things together and created your own, your own history.

In the back of my mind, something tells me that one of those two, and I'm not sure which one, the jaw opens just upward. Yeah. And then the other one, both jaws open. Oh. Like the bottom and the top move apart Oh, I see what you're saying one of them you think one of them is just like that. Yeah, and the other one is like

Yes, exactly. I've never thought of that in my life. Yeah, that can't be true. It's probably not. I don't like I said I don't know which is which no, of course not I mean, I would say the stupider one is so one opens almost like a bear trap or something like that Yeah, it doesn't like the bottom the bottom lid just stays there the bottom row of the teeth whatever mandible or whatever it is that's the one I'd want to be bit by for sure because I wouldn't get the double crunch Jeremy why don't you look that up verify I think I know what he's gonna find but we can give it a go oh I can't if this is right if somehow this is right I don't know how you search for does an alligator or a crocodile?

Having a movable lower jaw. So usually I go I'm on it I didn't say I'm on it because I didn't know how to search for that like you're up differences between alligator and crocodile Yeah, but I was that is number one. That would be the number one difference. That's fair. I Don't know like I know there's saltwater crocodiles. I don't think there's saltwater alligators. That's one thing I know. Alligators are just... Is a crocodile more like awesome than an alligator? The saltwater crocodiles are humongous. I think those things are... I know crocodiles are scarier because they're bigger. Also imagine being in the ocean. Yes, if you saw a shark you'd be freaked out, right? But you're like it's a being in the ocean. Yes, if you saw a shark, you'd be freaked out, right? But you're like, it's a shark in the ocean.

This is where you live. If you see a crocodile coming at you in the waves. In the ocean. We're not talking on the beach. We're talking in the ocean. Is that a surfboard? No! That would be so much worse.

Also, if you have never looked up a saltwater, an ocean-dwelling crocodile, they are dinosaurs. Yes. They're humongous. They are not like the rest of their species. Gators, I, they are dinosaurs. Yes. They're humongous. They are not like the rest of their species. Gators, I think, are smaller. They're the megalodon of, you know, but they exist now. It's like, that was my great, great, great, great, great

granddad. Gosh, they're huge. They're so big. Are they really that big? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they don't look great. Are they bigger than a shark?

No. Not a real shark. No, if you't look great. Are they bigger than a shark? No. Not a real shark. No, if you fought them in a great arena, I think the shark's winning. Well, if there's water. Yes, yes. By the way, it doesn't seem like crocodiles and alligators have immovable lower jaws.

It does say that alligators have a larger upper jaw than the lower jaw, so the alligators have an overbite. Crocodile teeth interlock. Maybe that's what I was thinking. I could see that. One is going over the teeth. Yeah, the alligator. And one is interlocking, okay.

I just wanna know which. You definitely want the one going over. Was there one courageous crocodile that at one point in time was like That water over there with the salt in it. I'm gonna go get in that water You know, they just and some larger and then it's and then the salt filled it and it grew and became a dinosaur And then the alligators were just like big babies like I need gentle soft. Yeah, I've got an overbite He's like I need gentle soft. Yeah, I've got an overbite Isn't the salt waters the softer water no not an ocean really it's too a break It's not like a home soft water. Oh, okay. That's that's kind of what I was thinking too abrasive, but now I remember having both

Both areas of private areas hurt by ocean water It's much rougher areas of private areas hurt by ocean water so it's much rougher in the ocean. Both areas of private areas is how I would describe it. I don't know if I've ever told that story. Oh no, did you have chafing issues? Have I never told this story on the spitballers? Papa Josh lost a nipple in the ocean. Was this you, Owl, was this on a trip with you? Yeah. Okay, so you know this experience.

This was brutal. One of the worst experiences of my life. Sounds like it. So I went to the ocean on a San Diego trip with Owl Borland's family. Delightful. Wonderful. We go out in the ocean. We're having a good time. I got new swim trunks.

And those swim trunks had an inner lining. Yeah. So the built-in underpants. The built-in underpants. Uh-oh. And so that's what I wore. Old-school meshie or new-school sandex? I think it's new-school cheese grater. So what ended up happening was horrific and unspeakable on this podcast.

But the walk back, because we were staying, you're staying on the beach in like an Airbnb that's on the beach, except it's not on the beach, it's a block from the beach, and there's a big walk up the beach. Once I reached the point of no return in one of my private areas, the walk back was the most brutal, uncomfortable,

bent over thing that I just had to do for 2,000 feet. And when I got to the Airbnb, the amount of orders we had from the local Walgreens for Vaseline. It was a trip runer. So yeah, no. You're out on that. In hindsight, I think the ocean waters are much, much harsher than the soft, comfy. At least you came out no infections, right? That is true, that is true. And now I'm all calisthenics. Exfoliated, exfoliated. Okay, I think probably time for a breakout.

Sounds good. What's going on, Spitwads? I wanna take a minute and talk about New Year's resolutions. Those can be very hard to keep, but what if they were set to automatic? And that's why I want to talk about today's episode sponsor, Acorns. Acorns makes it easy to start automatically saving and investing so your money has a chance to grow for you, your kids, and your retirement. You don't need to be an expert. Acorns will recommend a diversified portfolio that fits

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Well, this is the part of the show where we share real news stories. Okay, here's real news from the last segment. Saltwater crocodiles are the largest living reptiles and can grow to 23 feet long. That is gigantic. I mean, 23 feet long. Think about how tall a basketball hoop is. That's a monster.

And then put another basketball hoop on top of it and it's still not tall enough. And then it swims? And then it swims? And then it swims like. If there was a secondary question, cause this one was like, if you wanted to get bit by either one but it's non-lethal, so you survive it, you make that choice. If you told me which one do you want to go

and like guarantee your demise, I just want the quickest, like you'd want the shark, right? I don't know. Like if you know this is what will be the end no I know what you're saying I guess the alligator might drown you the alligator I think top speed is 18 miles per hour in the water alligator crocodile The saltwater croc that we're talking about this monster very whites got to go faster than that sure but, but a human's top speed, the highest speed ever reached by a swimmer was five miles per hour. That's our-

That's our Michael Phelps? Yeah. Michael Phelps was like- Five, those people in the pool are only going five miles an hour? David Holmes, yeah, I mean this is why- Is that true? I mean, I think it is.

Great whites, 35 miles an hour. I'm just saying we're not surviving. Yeah, because we're not supposed to be there. That's true. We're not supposed to be in there. Problem is you get to land that crocodile's chasing you down to. There's no way that crocodile can't catch you on land.

Correct. So can I out walk an Olympic swimmer? Like, if they're swimming and I'm power walking, and I'm just right next to him, and we're like, he's at the side of the pool, and I'm just walking. I am not jogging. Can I beat him? I think so.

I feel like it'd be embarrassing to get run down on land by a crocodile. And yet, every crocodile runs faster than a human. Every one of them. There would be an amount of shame with it. You'd be like, because it looks like you should be able to get away little little Stupid legs feel like zigzags have to work on a ride. That's I believe that is completely old wives tail Oh really? Yeah, I'm not climbing a tree that would work crocs cannot climb a tree. No, and they stand up on their tail

Yeah, well now They can climb a little Yeah, well, no They can climb up a little So quickly I was saying they can like you know climb up the part of it They're just not getting off the ground all right. We are into jump out of the water Yeah, using that tail We are into is this real life where we share real life stories that just don't seem like they should be real What are you watching a croc jump now? share real-life stories that just don't seem like they should be real. WHAT?!

Are you watching a croc jump now? Crocodiles can climb trees! I was just about to post that. Wait what? High into the tree canopy! They're climbing full trees! How are they climbing trees? It makes no sense.

They've got those soapy little legs! I thought you said there were rules to physics, Mike! There are! There are not! Crocodiles can climb into trees! Crocodiles are monsters, we did say that. I'm staring at a crocodile climbing a chain-linked fence. Oh my gosh.

Why can they climb? These are monsters. Monsters have superpowers. Wow. Well, they do come from, what, the Cretaceous? What in the world? I believe Hades. Have you seen?

This is the crocodile episode. Have you seen what they do when they know that a lake or a river that they're in is going to freeze. Have you seen what they do when they know that a lake or a river that they're in is gonna freeze? Have you seen this? I have no idea. There's been some places, Florida recently, where things have gotten really cold, there's been snow.

So there's been some lagoons and areas where the water freezes. And you would imagine all the crocodiles are gonna die if they're under the water, right? Because they breathe air. They're probably going to some hibernation. They go and they poke just the ends of their noses up above the water and it freezes around the end of their nostrils.

So you look at the frozen lake and there's just the nostrils of crocodiles all over it and their heart rate slows to four beats a minute. Can you imagine that nap? That is a minute. Can you imagine that nap? That is a nap. That's the best nap that anyone has ever experienced in their life. There's got to be a limit to how long they can stay.

Not if your heart's down at four beats a minute. Yes, four beats a minute. It's like hibernation. Or BPM. Or beats per hour. PSI. Dude, four beats per hour. Dude, you'd be a lead.

Yeah, every 15 minutes boom? Yeah, it's crazy crocodiles are wild I think I want one I don't think you do I don't think you do I don't think you don't mess with that. Okay, you don't need it speaking of Florida. I'll go first cuz mine's pretty short and sweet Alligators can climb trees. A Florida woman was arrested because she got pulled over, and the police noticed her bag, her purse of some kind. In the car? In the car, yeah.

That's probable cause. And you know, they put things, yeah. That's a probable car. And you know, like, they put things, like some phrases sometimes on a purse. Well, this thing said, definitely not a bag full of drugs. On the purse? Yeah, that's what it said on the bag. You can never guess what's inside of this bag, guys.

Oh, man. I'll give you a guess. Was it drugs? It was, in fact, drugs. Oh, man. I'll give you a guess. Was it drugs? It was, in fact, drugs. Oh, my gosh. Was this like an Etsy purse? Somebody like. I don't know.

But this person thought, well, I'll be real clever. Even if they pull me over, there's no way they're going to look in this bag that says, definitely not a bag full of drugs. That's a little crafty. It's crafty, but it's. It didn't work. No, it didn't work.

Not only did it not work, you couldn't possibly expect it to work. You can get that bag if you're not putting drugs in it. Then it's funny. You get pulled over, and they're like, let me see that bag. And they open it up, and it's like, I try to tell you, it's definitely not a bag full of drugs. So don't write down on a murder weapon.

But if you- Definitely not the murder weapon. Don't test this weapon for blood. It's like that's insane. That is a stupid person. Yeah. I got another stupid person. OK.

And it has to deal also with animals not quite as great as crocodiles, but a superior animal, a bear. I don't know man pretty team cross right now this article is they told insurers a bear damaged their car but it was actually a person in a bear costume not only did they do it! They did it! Not only did they do it, they've done it several times. They went insurance fraud by... They did insurance fraud. It was a group of four people who have been charged. The alleged scam cost three insurance companies a total of $141,000.

Whoa! This is... Arrrrr! Dude, you have no idea how right you are. Was it when the crowbar was in the hands of the bear? Oh! $1,000. This is a Rolls Royce, an old car, but they had done it to several other cars, which is what flagged them. They did a Mercedes G63. What's going on with the bears?

You know, a Mercedes E350. They only hit the high-end cars. And these people lived in an area where it was known for bears around there, and they had video evidence of the bear going in the car and scratching up, tearing up the inside of the car. The video evidence, my friends, has been released. And I wanna read you a quote since the people

cannot see this video while listening to this podcast. But this was a quote from the investigators, from the officials. Quote, upon further scrutiny of the video, enhance the investigation determined the bear was actually a person in a bear costume. I have watched the video. It looks like a person crawling around in a bear costume. And what's funny is when you first, first, first watch the video, right off the bat, you're like, oh my gosh, there's a bear in that car. Cause you know, you don't expect, but then when it crawls to the other seats, it crawls into the back seats. It's clearly a person in a bear costume. And they sent

this video to the police to prove definitively and so the police investigated they found multiple car insurance frauds that were done and then they found the bear costume in the, well they were going to do it again and again and again. This was their job was tearing up cars in a bear costume. They actually found it in a bag that said this is definitely not a bear costume. So I got to go to Papa Josh real quick for a question, because Josh worked in insurance for a very long time. Could these people have said, we had a bear attack, and you have the remains of the interior of the car,

but not sent a video, just you're the claim, a bear did this. So they didn't even need to do the video. It was going over and above that really got them in trouble. Overthought it. Yeah, I'm going to share out that video for you guys. It'll be... I'm pretty sure a bear is about to ruin my car.

Don't take a video. I just I have a hunch. I mean like... There's a lot of different ways. Our limbs are not the same. And you can tell when they were crawling, because it looks like a person's limbs and not like a bear.

Did you know that this was actually a story in, I believe, mainland China at their zoos? Did you know this? That they actually had. Like, people pretending to be. Yes, they had people dressed up in bear costumes pretending to be bears in an exhibit for on the first day. No.

Yes. I thought you were talking like people coming to the zoo dressed in a bear costume or something. You're telling me that they actually tried to fool the guests of the zoo by having people in bear costumes? Headline. Chinese zoo denies their bear

is a guy in a bear suit. Yes. Oh. So yeah, I'm gonna send you the picture of that too. Oh my goodness gracious. And this was a story, I saw this a while back, so there's a little tag team on the Is This Real Life. I know that you can be in a giant rhino

and get away with it. Ace Ventura taught me that. Here's the story that I picked out for Is This Real Life giant rhino and get away with it. He's been to her taught me that Here's the story that I picked out for is this real life and this was a homegrown story This happened in late December in Arizona. I saw it come across the wire here on our local AZ central website. So this is you know, it's always nice when you see it yourself. Yeah, right. Let me read the headline for you Jason is a guy at this bear. I can't I'm sorry to distract. I'm looking at the picture of the bear from the Chinese zoo it is it's a person. It's not even wearing a bear suits. We're in a bear mask It's just a person. It's a dude. It's got a little bit of an extension for the head gosh, but otherwise, yep Upon further video evidence, I have determined

it is not a bear. It is a person in a bear suit. I just love the idea of a zoo going like, oh crap. That bear died and it was the main attraction. What do we do? What do we do? All right, here's the story, guys. You're going to enjoy this.

He's just standing up. Right in our backyard. Right in our backyard. Knocking from Phoenix garbage truck leads to woman's rescue Oh a garbage truck driver found a woman stuck in the rear container of his waste management garbage truck early During his morning route in Phoenix the woman who was not seriously injured was found at 445 a.m When the truck was in the area of local area here She was taken to the hospital the garbage truck driver had heard

Loud knocking sounds coming from inside of the container after he made his last dump so now the first question I have because It's the most terrifying question. I just assume all these garbage trucks are Compressing like like like Star Wars. Yeah, just like. I don't know, it says, quote, it is unclear how the woman ended up in the garbage truck. The woman did not wanna share?

She didn't tell him. And then it says later, I'm gonna guess she started in a garbage can. That's where I believe this. I'm in here, don't worry about it. How'd you get there? My favorite part of the story, though, was when the representative from Waste Management,

the garbage truck company, decided to comment. They said, quote, they were unaware of why or how the woman ended up in the dumpster bed at the company, quote, strongly discourages people from doing so. So if you've been tempted. But they don't forbid it. Right, that's true, Mike. They just discourage it.

They just strongly discourage it. If you're gonna do it, you can. What's going on in there. They just discourage it. They just strongly discourage it. If you're gonna do it, you can. What's going on in there? Strongly discourage it. Is there anything cool? That's probably some copper pipes you could sell. Oh my gosh. I mean you do see people- You do believe that you're in, you gotta be in the waste basket or in the- In the can. In the can and then get dumped in. I mean I see- Hence the injuries. I do post lunch walks around our building here pretty often and walk by a handful of dumpsters. It is a very common occurrence to see a person in that dumpster. Oh you frequently and do you waive? Pretty much at least twice

a week. Do you try to ignore them or do you just say hey? I just walk on. I'm just walking. I don't know them. These are people looking for things? These are people looking for things but I guess if you're in there at the time that the that the garbage truck pulls up If you want to earn yourself problem, yeah I'm just not understanding how that happens if you want to earn yourself a hundred dollars I want you to do one of your around the building walks in a bear suit one of these days You can stand I don't care. Yeah walk on to you can walk on two feet Oh, all right, I don't have a bear cry in the zoo. You you gotta buy the don't care. Yeah, walk on two feet. You can walk on two feet. Oh, all right. If I don't have to bear crawl.

I didn't stop this guy in the zoo. You got to buy the suit when I'm in. Okay. All right. Well, I'll go find one. All right, we'll take a break. We'll get into the draft. The Spitballers Draft. All right, today we are drafting the most annoying sounds in the world. Yeah, the Scout, it is in contention. You can draft it.

I have the number one pick. I'm going to go pretty vanilla here because it's a super annoying sound and it genuinely like causes people physical discomfort. I have to go nails on a chalkboard I why does it do that? I don't know I think it's because we associate it with the feeling yes well of the nails scratching it chalk boards have that like really Chalky it was Abrasive it just it gross grosses me out a little bit right now.

It was the first thing I put on my list. And then as I created the rest of my list, it was the last thing on my list simply because I realized that doesn't exist anymore. For people our age, nails on a chalkboard was a thing. Because in classrooms, there were chalkboards. There ain't been a chalkboard in the classroom in a long, long time. Nails on whiteboards, it's just a smooth glide.

They're only manufacturing chalkboards for the nails now. Right, yes. For the freaks that really like it. But yeah, it's been a minute. I don't think any of them have chalkboards still, right? It's all whiteboards, a race school. No, there's chalkboards. Really?

Yeah, there's chalkboards, but they all get like, somebody rolls like a white array. A dry erase board in front of them. Right, yeah, OK. Yeah. All right, Mike, you are on the clock. Most annoying sounds. So nails on chalkboard very high.

And I'm going to go with the sound, which it sucks to even when you bring it up, because the people who create this sound love that you hate it. And it's these freaking turds with their car mufflers and just being the loudest, most obnoxious car that you can possibly be. Great pick. That's a good pick. I didn't think about that one. Well, like, I can only imagine the reason you do that is because you are trying to be annoying. So then when I admit that it's annoying, I am simply giving you more power.

No, they're trying to be cool. They are trying. I don't think so. For sure they are. I don't know. They're not trying to annoy other people. They're trying to be cool. They think in their world, in their bubble, that it's like, wow, this is an awesome car.

It's so loud. It's so strong. But I'm not even talking about the motor. Like there are- Yeah, the muffler. Yeah, I can agree that some people are like, my motor is the deepest and the loudest. I am just talking about the insanely loud muffler. They find other people like them.

Yeah, I think they're trying to be cool. Like Jason said, there's a bubble of people that are like, whoa man, that's cool. And here's a nice thing, you can make fun of them on this podcast, because those people aren't listening to this podcast. Okay, well if you are, if you are one of those, these people, we try to be uplifting, positive,

but if you are one of those people, you're bad. You're a bad person. You're a bad person. Here's the uplifting part. You're able to become a good person. Yeah, you don't have to be. You can pull over right now. It's a real easy change. Side of the road.

There's something about it being. Disconnect that muffler. It's an additive. Drive on with a huge smile on your face, knowing you're a good person. The sound is so bad because you've added it on purpose. It's not like you just didn't have the money to put on the thing that makes the bad sound.

Like brake pads going bad, and it's like your brakes are out, and that's annoying, but it's like, whoa, why are you taking all my pics over here, man? All car related. It's still out there, yeah. Jason, two pics for you. All right. Most annoying sound.

So mine is gonna be the opposite of yours, right? Mike, you were saying. A silence? A quiet car. No, you were saying that you didn't like this in part because the people are wanting it. Oh, okay, yes. This one, I actually have empathy for. I feel bad for them because they very much don't want it, but it does not change the fact that a baby crying on a plane is unacceptable.

Yeah. Baby's crying period is unacceptable. Well, but on a plane, you're stuck. You're in a fuselage for four hours. And it's just like, this is going to wreck the day when there is a baby crying on the plane. Nothing's more annoying than that. The baby crying, and I just sat down as crying baby anywhere, you can have both empathy for that person and hate the sound.

Rage. Or in your case, rage. Because it's just not, it's not something you can have a conversation through. If you had a restaurant and a baby's crying, and I'm trying to talk to you about crocodiles or something, you know, we can't have a serious crocodile discussion because the baby's crying.

That's horrible. All right, so I know the next one I really, really want, but I don't think either of you are gonna take it. It's probably, it is the worst of the worst, but I'm gonna play the game and hope it comes back to me. So instead, I'm gonna take something that I have heard, I will say I promise I have heard this more than you in your life, but by you I mean everyone.

Everyone listening, everyone in this room. That's a bold proclamation. A smoke detector beep. It's on my list. Because? You have heard it more than anyone. Why more? Well, I've gone years without changing it.

You are just demented. You let it just, is it out? Is this a ladder situation? Yes it this is a ladder situation? Yes, it's a ladder situation. OK, yeah, OK, a couple years. It's a laziness situation. There was one time where I was renting a house, and it was almost like the two years I was there.

It's not my house. And so I don't want to change it, but it was two years. You're willing to suffer because it's not yours? Well, and in between it, you can still forget still forget and then every time it's like chirp And you're like oh, I forgot about it. You don't have to replace it. You can just take the battery out I think I ended up just knocking it down eventually. That's the way to go. Yeah, I've I've had a Part parts of my life where like this upstairs

We're if there's a fire up here We're in big trouble because there's about five of the smoke detectors that are just detached. Oh, OK. I thought there were multiples beeping at the same time. No, no, I'm saying like. If you take them down, they do not function. I'm saying in the middle of the night, I'm not going down to get the battery.

I'm going to identify the problem. I'm going to fix it. And now problem has been solved. I had a smoke detector. I don't know how this is possible, I don't know what's wrong with me, but it clearly is. I had a smoke detector in our master bedroom with a chirp for a whole year. How is that possible? Dude, I don't know.

I say it out loud and I don't know. It's not a goof that happened. We just lived we live different lives in the master bedroom I will say I believe that all smoke detectors are designed with a photo sensor so it knows when it's nighttime right and that's the only time it's allowed to warn you of the battery because I can tell you honest truth I've changed 15 to 20 batteries. I've never done it when daylight. No. It has always been, and it always happens to be like a lot when our kids were little

and it's in their room and I'm hauling a freaking ladder into the room while I'm hoping the kid stays asleep and I'm climbing up this in pitch black hoping the kid stays asleep to change this thing. You just gotta let them learn how to live through it. The problem is that some of those smoke detectors. It's like being in a McDonald's. Some of the smoke detectors you can't just take down. I learned this at a house. Because all our smoke detectors in the entire house

were hardwired together. But they required all of them to have battery backups because the hardwire could go down. Therefore, you can't pull it off without setting off all the other alarms. What? Yeah, my- Because I tried to disconnect one and the whole house went off in the middle of the night. What?

Yeah. Yeah my current house. I don't I dealt with that problem and it caused me to actually change the battery Yeah, I was like I gotta fix this thing. This is unlivable She just and I can live through a lot power down to the house and went back to bed Mike you are back on the clock Jason took the crying baby in the smoke detector shirt very good picks Mike You have the custom exhaust on the car and you are back on the clock. Jason took the crying baby in the smoke detector shirt. Very good picks. Mike, you have the custom exhaust on the car, and you're back on the clock. All right, we're going to go with chewing. Oh, yeah.

Chewing is. I do think you might take this pick. Chewing is annoying. It's disgusting. It is the worst sound that can be made. Chewing with your mouth open. It's awful. Why is it so bad?

This morning. Why is it so bad? This morning. What you're doing is you're using these little ivory pieces in your mouth to break food down with a mixture of saliva to swallow. That's why it's gross. You can hear the saliva sticking and releasing from surfaces.

But why does it bother you? Yeah, like nails on a chalkboard is like, okay, that reminds you of doing it. I can see that, that makes sense. But like chewing, it doesn't remind me of eating, which I'll be like, oh, that sounds great. I love eating. The act of chewing is awesome. Yeah, I I'd be like, oh, that sounds great. I love eating. The act of chewing is awesome.

Yeah, I like to chew my food. Just chew respectably. Yeah, this morning on the drive to school, my eldest son was chewing gum, but he was smacking it. Oh, man. Oh, no, no, no. I was like, those lips, if you have gum, those lips are shut.

I don't wanna hear you chew your gum. No, that's a great pick. Okay, my next pick, I'm gonna go with the car alarm. The car alarm that is going off and nobody seems to figure out it's their car and no one can stop it. And it just seems like there should be some way for someone else to stop it.

I feel like we're- And you always have to check if it's yours. Are we not evolving past the car alarm phase of our society? I think we are. I think now so many cars, you can check on your app where they are. You know what I mean? Like it's just kind of got the-

Well, you think they install it just so you can find your car? No, I'm just saying, if you have that, do you really need a car alarm? Do you? I thought the car alarm was to stop someone from breaking in. I guess I see it as stop someone from stealing your car. I guess they could break in and steal something out of your car.

Right. You could stop them with that, yeah. But no one's going to stop them. No. No. Well, because the default is somebody left their alarm on. That's the default is you're like, oh who's gonna turn that off? Not is there somebody stealing it also? Here's the biggest problem with the car alarms

1280 out of 1289 are false. There's no one breaking in there's no one stealing your car. I've yes It's it's idiot with their loud car muffler setting up a car alarm. It's boy who cries wolf. Yeah, it's boy who cries wolf. It's like every time that you hear a car alarm, it's like someone's got to go push a button. You almost need the alarm to be like, it's really someone this time.

Right. Or just know when it's not someone and then don't cry wolf. This is why I think we're just evolving past it. I think now newer cars you can can't steal right be as easily It's much more tell that to Nick cage. Oh, well he gets in 60 seconds. Yeah under Nails on a chalkboard car alarm my third pick here. I'm gonna come back with snoring I'm gonna come back snoring because yeah when it happens and look, I

I'm only gonna barely throw my wife under the bus here. My wife has- Barely is all it takes to kill you. It is, it's all, yeah, a little bit under the bus is all the way under the bus, isn't it? Yeah. She is not a, like Jason, you are a regular snore.

When we, long ago before you- If I don't have my CPAP, I will be chopping wood. Yeah, and Mike and I and you, we shared a hotel room a couple times, and it was like, it's... You're a, and it's, there's something to it. Like, you're at peace. And you're causing peace.

Like, you're at complete... Oh yeah, there is something funny about that, yes. You're at complete peace while the other people are around you going, oh please make it stop. And so my wife, I would say she slightly snores once every few months, and all it takes is a nudge, right? But I can't sleep during a snore. It's impossible.

So normally I'll do the like, you're snoring. You're snoring. And then she'll go, and then that's it. Yeah, it's funny. I don't think I've ever snored. You're snoring. Well yeah, I don't think I've ever snored. You snored? Well, yeah, I mean, I've never heard myself snore. I spent years snoring in bed, and having that

just had to be dealt with. And then I get a CPAP. You've snored other places, too. Well, sure, but I'm just saying once I got my CPAP, I don't snore anymore. And now, if the wife- She can't sleep without you snoring? If the wife snores, I am just aghast.

It's just, you know- Oh, you're like offended? Well, it's just like- Is it louder than, how loud's your CPAP machine? I'm not familiar. Oh, it's just a nice blowing air. Nice to whoosh? Oh, that's like what you wanna go to sleep with.

They used to be really loud, right? Maybe, maybe. I think it's a nice sound, honestly. Says the one wearing it. No, no, no. Like, she said it too. Okay. Like it's a white noise now?

Yeah, it's like a little white noise. If you have a white noise machine, is there an option on there for CPAP? Yeah. Or snoring. No, it is terrible. All right. Back to Mike. All right.

We're going to go. We're going to. Having a hard time over there. It is. It is. Because this isn't a sound you hear all the time. It's just we understand how terrible it is, because it sounds like death. It sounds like a creature may be suffering and needs

to be put out of its misery. But it's beginner violin. Oh. Beginner violin. Not frequent. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I'm not saying that I hear it all the time. But when you do hear it, that's one of those where one

of your eyes just shuts. You can't stop it. Your head starts tilting. Your eyebrows go up. If they play too long, full aneurysm. Inside your body is like, I need to get out. Something really bad is happening. Would more people play violin

if it wasn't for the beginner violin intimidation? Like the family, it's like the drums, right? Sometimes people don't buy drum kits. They're like, why don't you play an electric guitar with these headphones on the amp on the amplifier I wonder if that keeps people from like letting their kids play it could but it's also now it's old-fashioned it's not cheap I just say there's much cheaper I just say go play go learn in the backyard I also feel like very wrongly and for no reason,

but it also feels like one of those instruments that is cut in half, like it's a girl instrument. Like violins are for girls, and so half the people already can't play. Like the flute. Yeah, yeah, I would say the, I mean at least growing up it just felt like that. I don't know why, it's stupid.

If it was different. I would love to play a violin. It wasn't exclusive, but in our marching band, there was definitely like all the flautists were girls. Then the clarinets, little bit more split. Then you get up the saxophone, like, you know. You just made me so hungry for flautas. This is a nice chicken or beef flautas.

Let's go. That sounds delicious. That's your takeaway. That was my takeaway. What was he talking about? Some sour cream. Some fresh roasted clear nuts. All right, Jason, you have two picks left.

OK, I got two picks left. I got three. They're roasted. I got the clear nuts. All got three. They're roasted. Oh, I got the Clarinets. We put, all right, moving on. All right, so my pick that I wanted the most, because it drives me insane. What's a clarinet player called? Do they have a different?

Because a flute is a, I'm a flamest. I'm like a clarin. Are you a clarinutter? A clarinutist? Yeah, that's what I'm saying like is there a word for it? clarinettist clarinettist that makes sense pick something

that I don't understand I don't know why you're a flautist oh delicious but I also don't know why you're a pianist so fair piano You're a flautist. Oh, delicious. But I also don't know why you're a pianist. So. Fair. Piano. Pianoist. Why isn't it a pianoist? Why is it a pianist?

I think we just don't. We're not good at pronouncing that one. Jason, you are back on the clock. For goodness sakes, pick something. OK, all right. Well, the pick that I wanted the most came back. Because it drives me insane. And I can't do anything about it.

And I can't put it away. I can't forget about it. I can't not notice it and just move on. And this- Like a smoke detector beep. Yeah, I can move on from it. Yeah, apparently. But this drives me crazy.

And some people do it. Some people do it this way. It's teeth on a fork. When they bite the fork when they eat. That little clip sound? That clip and scratch. Interesting. It's just like nails on a chalkboard to me.

The teeth scratching along the fork. Obviously if you got plastic, whatever. I don't hear it, it's fine. But if you've got silverware, if your teeth are biting the fork and Do you notice that? Oh, I can't not notice it because it's visceral. No, well, I mean I've done accident once I bet an accident I'll bite a metal fork. Yes, that's a bad experience. It is a terrible experience, but I don't do the additional Scrape it out people. You don't need to scrape the fork with your teeth.

But that's how you get all the flavor. No, sir, that's how you get all the silver. Yeah, it's part of the experience. Yeah, we need metals. I like a real Illuminy, Illuminy pasta. Yeah, you don't need to eat like that. Please be aware of it. And the problem is, yeah, just learn to eat right.

It's a visceral. I'm not out there judging you. I'm not out there looking for it. If it happens near me, my body knows it. And I just like. You ever turn to the neighboring table and go, did you just bite your fork? I've never said anything about it.

Do you bite your fork at me? Good sir. To anyone. Thankfully, no one in my family does does or else they'd be out. They'd be out of the family. What's your final pick? Crying baby, smoke detector chirp, teeth on a fork. My final pick is the...

Crying kid is, yeah. Is the PTSD that comes from an alarm clock. And it can be any alarm clock, whether it's the old school one by the bed or whether it's the classic iPhone alarm. So even though you're a morning person. I am a morning, but I see my alarm clock is just a gentle vibrating.

How often do you change your alarm sound? I don't have an alarm sound. Like I, we don't have. Okay, yeah, you don't. No, but like the one you're talking about though. When you used to have one. For people who have an alarm, never, never. You've never had an alarm sound? No, no, no, you have a... No, but like the one you're talking about though. When you used to have an alarm? For people who have an alarm, never. Never.

You've never had an alarm, sir? No, no, no. I never changed it. Oh. When I grew up, I had like the alarm clock that was doing the classic, eeh, eeh, eeh. And then once I got an iPhone for a decade or whatever, it was the whatever their default was. I never changed it.

You don't mix it up. I never mixed it up. You never go a song. No, no, I think a song would have been much better. But I haven't had an alarm clock sound in a long time now. So thankfully I got that out of my life. For me, it's no matter how peaceful a sound is when you're selecting, I had one of those sunlight alarms, and it was, you have a couple of sandwich you can pick from,

and one of them's birds, real pleasant birds. Sounds nice to sleep with. Yeah, when you first hear it, you're like, it's great, the first couple times it wakes you up, but then eventually even that peaceful sandwich, you're like, this thing is the worst. It's waking you up. It's associated with bad.

Yes, yeah. And you're like, you're going to- Yeah, And you're like, you're going to bed with a bird gun now. You're waking up looking, I'm going to get you. You're not waking me up tomorrow. These birds wake me up every day. Mike, you have custom exhaust chewing and beginner violin. You're finishing it up with what? So I don't think they do this as much in the new school. But Josh could probably tell me if they are really doing

it or not. Low health played a Zelda game, no. What? That was the one franchise I never played a single Zelda game. OK, well that one specifically is the one I'm thinking of. As soon as you're down to like half a heart, the alarm goes on. It never stops.

It never stops until you get more life, which is, it's a weird. It's bad design. It's a weird thing. We have, even if it's newer, or they're trying to figure out how to make video games But it's just weird thing. We got to make sure you know that your health is low You're in danger and then at the same time you're freaking me out. You're like because you won't stop what makes it harder It's making it even worse. I am aware that I want to get my life back My priority right now. My final pick is an easy one. Yeah, the sonic drowning.

Oh, man. This is just pure panic. My final pick is going to be microphone feedback. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good stuff. When someone messes up with the sound, the sound engineer messes up, Jeremy's back there.

He screws something up. And the sound. Or the performer points the microphone at the monitor. Always the sound engineers fall, no matter what the performer does. The performer's awesome, engineer. Yeah, I agree with Andy. Gotta be on top of that.

But no, yeah, they point the microphone at the amplifier. You should have planned for me to point the mic at the speaker. If you've ever been around one where they really couldn't get it under control, that is pretty intense. So I had a lot of final picks that were really close, like the fly or mosquito that buzzes your ear. I've got that on my list.

Off-key whistling. So if someone's walking around but they're not a good whistler, if you're a good whistler, welcome in. Mike, you are welcome to whistle around me anytime you want. And for Papa Josh, a final one that I had on my list, dogs barking at night. I thought you were just going to say Papa Josh. Also Papa Josh.

Because that should be on all of our lists around here. I had dogs licking themselves. Oh, man. You can hear the lick. Oh, it's so bad. It is the worst. It's very nasty. I'm It is it is the worst. It's it's it's very nasty I'm surprised when it take like a cough

Coughs are so annoying when you've got that person like you're in a movie theater or any any Venue and you got the coffer the one who just can't stop coughing Yeah, but I don't find the actual sound of a cough to be yeah, it's more of the constant coffer I have a dentist drill, and for my boy, this is nails on a chalkboard for him. Styrofoam rubbing together. Oh, the squeak. Yeah, one of my kids has that, too. He cannot handle it.

That's not a good sound. Maybe some people have the phobia, and it's worse, but I think everybody would agree that's not a great sound. So you know, like like the material that gives like the fake 3D effect, so based off of where you look at, so it's these tiny little rivets or whatever and if you scratch it, it makes a very distinct sound. That's one of my kids, he will attack you

like a spider monkey if you don't stop. He can't control it. He turns into just a monster that has to get away from the sound. A buzzing light bulb. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's terrible. Awful.

Not as often anymore. Light bulbs should not make sound. They make light. It's keep it straight. Yeah. You're not here to make sound. You're not a sound bulb. There's a restaurant.

You're a light bulb dummy. There's a restaurant near here that we all like like a little Hawaiian barbecue place it has been happening for you how was I learned that some dude is like hey I don't care about my yeah my smoke detectors I guess we can leave the light oh man that thing drives me nuts I don't even want to go inside there and they don't door dash come Come on people. We gotta go see if it's still there. Oh I'm sure it is. I had the fork on a plate. Oh very similar. On the plate. What did we learn today? I learned that crocodiles can climb trees. That blew my

mind. They do seem like an apex predator when you look at all the things that they can do. You also learn that they can move both sides of their jaw at the same time. I'm not sure I learned that. That will go away quickly. The crocodile's speed, it can chase you down no matter where you're at.

That's what I learned today. I learned Jason can make up 15 minutes of a drive of a 30 minute drive somehow. Woo! Andy has a really passionate love of flautas. Oh they're so good. To be fair they're delicious Goodbye everybody. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to check out spitballerspod.com.