Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 34: Group Text Disaster and Gift Card Revenge

Episode Date: February 18, 2019

An amazing guest stops by the studio today! You might know him from such things as Home Improvement and ... that's probably it. The guys shared some funny moments about sending a text message you wish you could have back and gave some great advice on how to destroy your enemies. In the end, they construct their perfect meal and Jason goes bananas over mashed potatoes. Be sure to subscribe and share this one with your friends!  Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/spitballers/posts See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, Spitwads, do you enjoy this show and you want just a little bit more? I do. Oh, there you are. I love this show, yes. Oh, that's not annoying at all. Head over to SpitballersPod.com and find out how you can become an official supporter of this show and get access to the complete archive. Spitballerspod.com.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Welcome in. I'm going to start doing that. I'm going to just go point at one of you or I'm going to take it. Ooh.

We'll never know who gets to be the scat man. Here's the deal. If you don't hear it from us, you better be doing it in your car or in your home or at your work or in your school or in your gym, wherever you are. Random scats when you have the headphones on. That's how you mid-rep. Think about this. Pick up the ladies. Let's say you're at the gym.

Let's say you're at the gym and the gentleman doing the power lifts over there with his headphones. That guy? Yeah, that guy over there just starts going. You know you've got a friend. You've got a friend. You've got a friend. In me.

Indeed. Or he's watching one of the many video montages from 90s movies that's just the scat man. Yeah, that's true. But even then, then you got a friend right yeah you know is there a better montage song in all of the history of film yes than scat man come on rocky movies has taken the uh eye of the tiger is the best montage song for sure that's not debatable. No, it's gotta be. You're saying the Scatman is a better montage than the

montage song of Eye of the Tiger. Yes, totally. It's well-rounded. It can go into so many different types of movies. Eye of the Tiger serves one purpose. To amp you up? Yeah. Which is the equal purpose of a montage. I'm with Jason on this one.

Welcome to the Spitballers podcast. Would you rather life advice and a wonderful mock draft on the show today? Follow us on Twitter at SpitballersPod. Share your questions with us. You know, you might need some life advice. We're here to help. And find us on iTunes. Subscribe.

Review the show. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I can't move on from this. Do you genuinely believe, you actually believe that the Scatman is a better montage song you do? Yes. Because I want this put. So a little.

A secondary pull. Peeling the veil back here. I think you mixed an analogy there, but go ahead. That sounds about right. You peel an onion. You pull an analogy there, but go ahead. That sounds about right. You peel an onion, you pull the veil back, but go ahead. I'm stretching the veil to the side here. And we

have a new producer in the house today. Al Borland is here. Yes! Al Borland is here. Al, go ahead and say hi to the people. He's not armed. Oh, is he not? No, he can't say anything. That's even better.

Can you wave to the podcasters? There you go. Al is waving. Mr. Borland is one, he's going to get video here soon to the product, but two, you are going to put up a poll because I'm confident that it's going to be at least 80-20. 80-20. Yeah, I agree with you. In my favor.

Eye of the tiger. Yeah. It's the thrill of the fight. It is. We are going to get this one started off with a review. We appreciate everybody who's been supporting the show. Getting it going.

Review Asaurus Reds. You were in the middle of a sentence. You cut yourself off. You cut yourself off. You cut yourself off. You are the only one that can control that button, and you cut yourself. You're like... I was too eager.

I had nothing else to say. Well, this one comes in from... No punctuation when I talk. This one comes in from Apple Products Reviewer. World's best podcast. The Apple Products products reviewer this is a big deal uh world's best podcast five stars says i was looking for something entertaining and found this hilarious podcast the three dads are jason the man who talks before he thinks all right accurate andy the leader and most sensible, and Mike, the chilled out dude.

Thanks for solving all my life problems. I'm chilled out? Yeah, you're the chilled out dude. All right. Now, I will say this. Today... You'd rather be the chilled out dude than the angry dude. Oh, for sure.

Yeah. Or the sensible dude. Yeah, that's pretty boring. I hate that guy. I cut him off mid-sentence. But here's the best part. Yeah, that's pretty boring. I hate that guy. I cut him off mid-sentence. But here's the best part. You're just so sensible. Today, I have a goal to hurt Mike.

Because Mike and I, and you, Andy, we are in a flag football league where Mike might have just broken his rib. There's a cracked rib for sure. There's a cracked rib in this man's body. And it hurts to laugh. It does. And so, don't get me wrong. I love you. I just want to make you laugh today.

You're going to kill me with kindness. Kill you with kindness. This is going to be pain. And it will be your gain. Yeah. Spitballers listeners. All right. Like I said, we got Would You Rather.

We got Life Advice. We got a great draft. By the way, producer Jeremy slash Al Borland wearing his very nice flannel today. Oh, man. When you said Al Borland and I looked over. Doesn't it just write. We got to tweet a picture out because this is Al Borland. Yeah.

Here's the thing. That shirt represents far more than Al Borland. Really? But not far less then. Yeah, not far less. I mean, brawny, sure. Yeah. Here's the thing. That shirt represents far more than Al Borland. Really? But not far less, then. Yeah, not far less. I mean, brawny, sure. Yes. I mean, it's lumberjack.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's cool, man. I like it. But I saw, and Jason, of course, in our draft of theme songs, which he selected Home Improvement, no doubt Jason saw Al Borland first. We have, Al has put together a standings for us. He added up all the results of all of the previous drafts. And as of today, Jason and I are tied with the most first place votes. Mike has seven, although it's about to be eight from last week.

We all have nine second places. And then Mike has 11 thirds. Jason and I have eight. From last week. We all have nine second places, and then Mike has 11 thirds. That's right. Jason might have eight. And then Jason somehow, when he wins, wins big because he has the most total percentage point gap between the rest. Dominating you guys on total votes, but just tied for the victory in total wins. Yeah, which is all that matters.

Yeah. Thanks, Mr. Electoral College. We in total wins. Yeah, which is all that matters. Yeah, thanks, Mr. Electoral College. We know who wins. Let's go ahead and move on. Would you rather? Oh, this is interesting. Would you rather relive the same day for 365 consecutive days or just lose a year of your life?

So this comes down to whether you would enjoy living the same day 365 times versus avoiding that pain and just losing a year of your total life. And now you wouldn't really know that you're losing a year of your life. Well, sure. You could tell me. I guarantee you you lose a year of your total life. And now, you wouldn't really know that you're losing a year of your life. Well, sure, you could tell me. I guarantee you you lose a year of your life. But I don't know any different. Well, if you tell somebody that they're going to lose a year of their total life... It's ominous.

It's ominous. It's kind of like saying, I'm going to take one away. Or you could have that year. You just got to live the same day 365 times. Do I age or is this full Groundhog Day rules? Full Groundhog. So wait, you just got to live the same day 365 times. Do I age or is this full Groundhog Day rules? Full Groundhog. So wait, you gain a year?

Based on what you're saying, then you would gain a year of life. Then no. No, I would say you age, equivalent. So every day you're one day older. Yeah. Just like today. So can I put on weight in this time? No, no, you probably well sure now you're you're

going through i understand why i need all the rules i don't understand why why would that matter if you can put on weight well you're yeah i guess well if i can't if i'm aging you have to be able to put on weight why because that means that your body is moving forward through time. Well, good news, guys. I'm aging because I am able to put on weight. You're aging two days per day. Yes. Okay, so let's step back from the weight question. What are some of the negatives of living the same day 365 times?

Just boredom. Because you're doing the same thing every single day. Well, I mean, you don't. I mean, you obviously can vary. There'd be variation in what you choose to do, but you're going to have the same interactions, right? Yeah. The people you see at work are probably going to.

It's not great, Bob. Yeah, they're going to say the same thing. Groundhog Day. There's been a lot of movies like this. I think there's a Netflix show right now called Russian Doll. Yes, there is. Where she dies every single day and wakes up and lives the next day. That's a bad

day to relive. Well, she dies in different fashions. Oh, well then totally cool. In that case, I guess that's awesome. That would be ominous. If you wake up in the morning and you know your day ends with your death. Oh, man. You can't even escape. No.

I've seen the ending of Groundhog Day. He made strides. He learns how to play the piano. He saves the small town. He makes everyone cheerful and brings delight to the world. Some of that stuff you can do no matter what. You can learn to play the piano. People have learned to play the piano before.

Without repeating the day. Without having to repeat the day over but now you have time right but we're saying you don't gain an extra year off your normal timeline but i say are you telling me you if you knew you had 365 days a weekend you'd be like what can i do in this time to be effective would you just play around well there would be plenty of time for playing the playing around would be the first thing you do but then i would look for self improvement and what i mean by you have time is you have no consequences right go ahead get it get arrested right that's what i'm saying i would slap each of my friends on every separate day just make a new enemy every day one friend friend a day. Right when I see them.

How's your day going? Slap. That would be an interesting science report. How does this friend react to me just slapping them in the face? You really get to learn. Yeah, you're going to learn about your friends. Now, here's the thing. We could still learn about our friends without this. Without slapping them in the face.

There's just slightly more consequence to the learning experience. 365 attempts to rob a bank and get away with it? Ooh, that's... So we're all going with the... I mean, clearly you're going to live the same day over for 365. I'm talking about learning the piano. This guy's over here robbing banks. And slapping friends.

Robbing banks and slapping friends. The sensible one. See, I'm trying to break out of that mold. I just think the experimentation would be fun. It would. Can you die in this environment? You probably can't, right? No, you would just wake up and live that day over again.

So if I'm hypothetically robbing these banks, I need to watch out. I need to make sure I don't get taken out in one of these. No, you're fine. Right? I thought you just said i couldn't die or i mean yes i did i meant it in the sense like if i did die do i wake up the next day yes you wake up oh i'm going i feel like i can leap off the grand canyon at the like midnight hour let's see you could that's why it's it's interesting to think about this if it's not the Groundhog Day rules. Whatever you do to yourself, if you're aging, that means you're able to put on weight if you get hurt. If you do something, you get a scar.

Yeah, you got a scar tomorrow. You're still hurt tomorrow. I don't think it would instantly turn into a scar. I'm saying it's just you're healing the same amount. So in my world where you're doing this, no. healing the same amount. So in my world where you're doing this, no. You cannot rob a bank, have a horrific ending to the robbery,

and then wake up the next day. Because the ramifications of what happens to your physical body remain. But just your body. So you're put in jail, and you're beat up. When you wake up the next morning, you wake up in your bed, beat up. And your wife goes, what happened? So if this is one of those days, hypothetically, that maybe you throw the diet out the window and you repeat that 365, it ain't good.

No, I can tell you exactly what it's like. It's just like today. It's L-I-V-I-N. It's just living. You just look in the mirror and you go, man. I've lived the same food day for 365 days. Yes. I will go with that one, though.

I feel like, yes, it might get bored, but you know there's an end coming. And I know that there will be times where it's terrible, but there will be times where you can experiment and do things you can never do the rest of your life, a la Slap Friends. I got to go with the 365 days. You're never going to beat an RPG again, Jason. Not that year. I'm not.

Oh, yeah. All the games that you're playing, you can't save them. Yeah, you're saved as reverted. All right. Oh, that's a nightmare. Would you rather be able to hear what someone says about you one minute after they hang up the phone or be able to see every text someone wanted to send to you but delete it instead oh have we all had that i mean we've all had this text do people

really do that i've seen the the animated gifs where it's the back and forth of the text message where someone writes in what they really want to say then then they delete it, and then they say something else. Yeah, I've done that move. You have? Oh, certainly. Definitely. I've only done that in the framework of there's just, oh, there's a better way for me to word this, not in I'm going to say something horrifically mean,

and then I stop myself. I've done that one. I've done the, like, I just move. Do you do that as a, like like You know you're going to delete it But it's cathartic for you You're like Go suck an egg It's cathartic

What if you hit send by mistake Well that's a risk I'm willing to take You're willing to take that risk I am willing to take that risk What are you writing In this safe for work environmentwork environment of this podcast, what types of things are you writing in there to release?

You know, just simple stuff. I hate you. You're an ugly fat man. Oh, you're so mean. Well, but I don't send that. And then I delete and I say, okay. How many times have people done that on Facebook with the old

Facebook debates that happens a lot or you see the Facebook debate but every post has the edited mark next to it because everybody wrote something and they're like oh no that's a little over the line of course on Facebook they don't generally say that

but then they edit it and you know and you know, what did they edit? What did they edit out? See, the difference here in deciding whether you want to hear what someone says about you one minute after they get off the phone versus what they were going to text you but deleted is that one is meant for you, and one was never meant for you. If someone's wanting to say something directly to you but then deletes it that that is something where you know i'm gonna learn i'm gonna learn about i'm going to learn about what they really want to say to me not about me right because okay

let's say they hang up the phone yeah and then they go talk to someone else about me that's more gossipy that exactly that you know they're pushing that on someone else about me. That's more gossipy. Exactly. They're pushing that on someone else. I want neither of these things. No, these are terrible. Well, here's the thing that people need to realize about life. We don't always go with the first impulse, and it doesn't make you a bad person to have that first impulse.

If you correct mentally that bad reaction right we all have the like insensitive remark that we think of yes so sometimes when we go you know sometimes we take that back yeah and we realize it's wrong and that's human decency yeah very sensible good for us we did it the the awkward one is when you send the text to the wrong person that was meant for somebody else. Oh, no. Oh, that is. Or the group text situation. Oh, man.

When you send the wrong text to the wrong person, that is an unmitigated disaster. Is there a story here? I have a story. There are so many stories. What? I've got a story similar, but I want to hear Jason's because his is probably... Juicy? Yeah.

Oh, I don't know if I can say it. Oh, no. That bad? It was worst case scenario. All right. Are you going to put in some pseudonyms? I'm going to have to. Yes.

I'm going to have to share this story. Billy Bob Thornton. Yes. Names have been changed to protect identities. That's what we go to? You don't use him for all your pseudonyms? I'll just say this hypothetical situation. Yeah.

You heard a friend had this situation. This is just a hypothetical situation that could happen let's say there's a group of there's a group of parents and okay there's a i can relate so far and there's there's there's a kid who's let's just say the worst um let's just say the worst and one parent is wanting to say that that kid is the worst oh no to another parent but instead sends that text to the group including including the parent of the kid oh how do you come back from this? Oh, no. Wait, so, okay. I will say this.

I will say this. It was... So your friend... This happened, but this was... I'm so happy that this was not us on the wrongdoing side. We were just in the group. You were just part of the group. We were just part of the group.

We were just witness to the massacre of how do you want that back? So I want to make sure I'm on the same page. You are in a group text, and someone in this group text wants to message their spouse and say, oh, man, our neighbor's kid is the worst. Or another mom. Something like that. Yeah, yeah. Or dad. And they sent it our neighbor's kid is the worst. Or another mom. Something like that. Yeah, yeah. Or dad. And they sent it to the group?

To the group. Did your phone just ignite on fire? So it wasn't me. I was there. But this is horrifying. I was right next to the person who received this group text and realized what someone else had accidentally done. And both me and that person wanted to climb under the bed.

I mean, you would have. I would have turned inside out. I'm telling you, it was the most. It was. I've never. I've never. No. Had to hide and laugh at the same time more in my life.

I would have loved it if all the other people not involved. It was just left the conversation, left the conversation, left the conversation, left the conversation, left the conversation. That's awful. Have you interacted with the culprit? Yeah, this was a while back. What was the outcome?

It amazingly got walked back, and all was okay, but that was one of those where it's like, oh, my goodness, how do you come back from this? Did they follow up with, like, blah, blah is the worst. Is something I would say if I were telling a hilarious joke? A complete a-hole. How do you return? That's terrible.

Yeah, that's tough. Look, they can claim they have returned, but that parent is not forgotten. No, that's tough. They can claim they have returned, but that parent is not forgotten. No, no. No. Never forget. Then again, they're the one that raised that terrible kid. It's their fault.

This is really on you. They needed to know. This was. So I have a story, too, where I, as a teenager, as an emotional teenager, I wrote a very scathing email once and sent it. And it was critical of somebody. Very, very critical. Very, very unfair. Very, very, very unfair.

And I had the instant moment after I sent it, or near instant. I mean, probably right when I sent it, I was like, yeah, take that. But a minute later, I was like, oh, no. What have I done? And I proceeded to spend the next two hours hacking that person's email account. Oh. So I could then go in and delete the email before they read it. What happened to unsending an email?

Is that possible? It's possible for like five seconds now on Gmail. You can click undo, but because it doesn't actually send, like you click send and then in the background, it's holding it for five seconds or 10 seconds. This was AOL days. This was like,

I got to get in there before they, and this person never knew it existed. Wow. What? How did you get in? I had my ways. I had my ways. I want to know in there before they... And this person never knew it existed. Wow. What? How did you get in? I had my ways. I had my ways. I wanted to know what your ways are.

This is why I'm asking the question. He knew his mom's password, and so he logged in and deleted it. Oh. It may or may not have been a family member. Oh, man. And I may or may not have been aware of the technological requirements to access the account. Wow. Yeah, I'm not proud of it, but yeah.

That's what we're here to do. We're giving advice for the young generation of what not to do. And the thing is, disclosing it is the first time anybody would have ever heard that. Because this thing never existed in the realm of... Look, we're going to take a gander at the statue. The statue of limitation says that you... The tablet says that you're allowed to let this person know. Yeah, well, there you go.

Would you rather be able to hear what someone says about you one minute after they hang up? I don't want to hear either because I don't want... Yeah, I don't want to know. I mean, if it happens... I mean, it does happen, right? Yeah. All these things happen. You're just telling me, do I want to be sadder in my life?

Not necessarily. The way that I look at this is I'm going to take whichever one is more likely to result in I love you. Meaning? The latter then. I'm taking the latter one. Because then I'm seeing their true thoughts and then maybe I can fix a problem that I have. That's the message that sometimes people are afraid

to share. They want to say but they think maybe they don't want to hear it yet. You're in that phase of like, oh, I love them. No, I can't tell them yet. I want to know. So you think that that's more likely that it's the text that's typed but then deleted? I think so because they were trying to say something directly to me, so I'll take that one. Okay.

This conversation may go nowhere but have you been butt called yes and then doesn't hang up they don't know they don't well no you but then someone but they're talking about you whoa have you had that happen no not to me oh no that's uh i just i've heard stories and you guys have have great stories today yeah i don't have any of the butt calls where... How about Al? Al Borland, has that ever happened to you? No.

No. All right. That only happens in the movies, apparently. Spitballers to the rescue. All right, some life advice time. Tim from the website. Not Tim the tool man. Close friend of Al Borland. But Tim

from the website. It's time to help Tim. I need help. Well, yeah, we're here. When I get off work, my wife wants me to call her on my way home. We have a three-month old baby and the wife doesn't get a lot of adult human conversation.

As soon as I get home, I will be on baby duty until we lay him down. How do I reclaim those 20 minutes to recover mentally from work while not hurting my wife's feelings? That is a great conundrum of the working spouse, because obviously staying at home with a child is a lot of work, and obviously a day's work at the office can be very hard, and both people need decompression. Yep. So what do you think here?

How do I see you do this? I was so close to wanting to jump down Tim's throat and be like, Like Miss Frizzle? Yeah. Shrink down and climb down in there? Body wars or whatever it is. Biological examination? But then I really do...

Get them viruses. But I get it. I get it. Sometimes you're just... Yeah, if your day was hard... You know... You know that show's back. Miss Frizzle?

No, there's the new Magic School Bus. Is Miss Frizzle a part? It's a different teacher, or they just like hipped her up okay that's that's stupid i never i never watched that show all right sorry barely know of it you're you uh when we interrupted you you were diving inside the mouth of a human thank you um you know but when you have a stressful, you do need a little decompression. And if you're going right home to baby time, then that 20 minute window is your time to breathe. So what I recommend here is make that 20 minute phone call.

Like right now, clearly, that 20 minute phone call is not decompressing for Tim. Right? Yep. So you've got to find something fun to chat about. You've got to send her a scathing email. Good idea. Good start. Good start.

Right before you leave, before you leave work, send the scathing email. Then when you get home, log into her computer delete it on the drive home that phone call can be all about what her electronic usage has been i'm just picturing andy in all black being lowered from the ceiling like mission impossible one delete the email grabbing the knocks list yeah i catching your beads of sweat before they hit the ground yeah sometimes you do stuff that's stupid and when you can undo it you should undo it this i think this is you got to meet in the middle because it's it is it's a very tough thing being the person at home with the kids i understand uh i've only had to do it you know a few times because it's really, really hard.

It's a nightmare. And you immediately want to jump out of that role. You got a 20-minute drive, Tim. This one's easy. 10-minute phone call? 10-minute phone call. You get to drive 10 minutes, then you give a 10-minute phone call. Or alternatively.

Take the 40-minute route. I was going to say move a little further. Move a little further away. Uproot your entire life. Now it's a 40-minute drive. You know, there was a time, and my wife is extremely gracious. There was a time that she was extremely gracious. Yes, yes, yes.

That time is long gone. But there was a time when I had an hour plus drive. And here's the thing that people don't realize. And they've done Harvard studies on this. You guys know what cortisol is, right? That's the stress hormone in your body. They've correlated cortisol levels in the body with the length and duration of a commute. So just the act of driving in bumper-to-bumper freeway traffic, getting home, what would happen to me is I would have an hour-plus drive home from work. I would leave in a good mood. I would get home right when she wants the conversation and me to take over and help with the kids. I would get home at the peak cortisol stress levels. So it was not

a good moment for the family because I would get in and I didn't want to deal with anything because I had an hour plus of stress of, you know, do you know what it's like to drive in a terrible commute? I do because I did the exact same drive. Yeah, because we worked together. So you understand that. Yeah, it was awful. So for a while when it was like the peak stress level, she gave me permission to like have a little me time for the first like 10 minutes

i got home just don't deal with anything go decompress in the room or even stop if she if i wanted to i could stop at a coffee shop on the way home for 10 minutes just add some caffeine into that cortisol decompress a little bit and so she was extremely gracious with that but that came from communicating slash her seeing me get home and realize it wasn't working. That came from Andy being a monster. Back when she was gracious, of course.

Right, right, right. It's been a while. Now she literally slingshots the kids at me when I walk in the door. They're all set up in a slingshot and let's go and she runs out the back gate. See, that's the problem. That's the pro move. Now our jobs are so nice and fun and we're close to home.

And, you know, we come. Like, my wife tells me this all the time. She's like, you're not allowed to say you had a hard day. Like, you're not allowed. You could say. So she's post-gracious days, too. Oh, long gone. No, my wife is great. But she's like, you know, we've got a cousin, Chris.

He's a police officer. She's like, he has hard days. He has legitimate. Like, you can't come home and say, I had a hard day. You could say, like, I had a longer day or whatever. You can't use that language anymore? No, you can't. And it's fair, right? We're podcasters and entrepreneurs and fantasy football analysts.

A lot of butt time. A lot of butt time. Yeah. So, yeah, maybe that's what you do, Tim. Be a podcaster? I was going to say, be a podcaster. Find the most chill, easy job in the world, do that, and then when you come home, you're putting your hands together, you're getting to work

with your three-year-old and your wife, you come home and now you're the hero of Kvatch. A pod... What? That is a... Is that a phrase from a movie? That is a... I'm going to leave that out there for all my... Okay.

All the Twitter people who know who the hero of Kvatch is. So a podcast about whale sounds. Like that's what that guy should do. Because it's very calming? Yeah. Can you imagine how chill that guy would be? Just sitting around. I'm guessing both chill and broke.

Not a lot of economic... Do you monetize whale sound pods? Yeah. Someone's got to do it. I just imagine a whale podcast. It's an hour long, and right in the middle, two ad reads. It's like, have you been sleeping well? Have you been sleeping whale?

Sleeping whale. Oh, so many whale puns. Oh, have a whale-y good day, everybody. Did you enjoy those dulcet towns of the blue whale? Try the purple mattress. All right, recently. Here's a new question from the website. Recently, I was given a gift.

This is amazing. I was given a gift card for my birthday. When I went to use it at the store, they said only had a one dollar and 77 cent balance yes making me think it was used yeah he it better be you oh i hope it's not what do i do how do i confront the person who gave it to me um is confronting that person worth uh 18 dollars and 23 cents... No, it ain't. You never speak of it again. I got to know the level of friend. Yes. Because if this was your friend, you've been...

You got got. Oh, my gosh. This is amazing. Like on purpose? Yeah. Like they said, could I put $1.77 on this card? This is giving me too many ideas of how funny would that be? Oh, it's so good. is if you give like we just did

teacher gifts you know i mean we're not good enough friends but you're gonna hit the teacher with the dollar they're already underpaid they are underpaid and that would be very rude so maybe not the teacher but i'm just thinking like it would be so fun to give someone a dollar 77 gift card to Starbucks. Treat yourself. Go out, and what you're doing is you're making them buy coffee. No, no, no. You're letting people off way too easy with the Starbucks.

It's got to be sharper image. Brookstone. It's got to be a store where you are set to buy something that is expensive. But do you write like $100 on the back of the gift card? Oh, that's funny. There you go, and then they get it, and it's like, there's $1.77. You don't have to write anything on it. Oh, it's at the steakhouse? Yes, that's what I mean.

It's $100 to a steakhouse, and there's $1.77 on it? That one's even worse. That one's better than what's there. Because you are done. You've eaten the food. That's the setup. That's the setup. That's the way to do it. Because at Brookstone, you can go, oh, you know what?

I don't really want it. I'll be back. And then you just leave and never come back. Oh, that is too good. But you've eaten the food. $1.77 to Ruth's Chris. Oh, my God. And you write $100 on the back of it.

You are 100% stuck buying that steak dinner. If you have someone that you don't love in your life, if you have an enemy, if you have an arch rival. Somebody sent you a text on accident and you want to pay them back. And you want to kill them with kindness, but not really. You are the bigger man. You take the high road, the better woman, and you give them a gift card for $100 to a steakhouse and say,

hey, this one's on me. Sorry we've been in this little tiff. Let's move forward. I want to treat you. I want to hear you, Jason, try to explain to the waiter what's going on as a way to get out of paying that bill. Yeah, that would be a lot. So listen, this is supposed to have a hundred dollars on it i'm sorry sir this has one dollar and 77 cents that would be are your dishwashers working today that is too funny i've always heard

it would be uh it would be entertaining to buy like you know let's see you want to get somebody 50 a target get like 20 or 30 cards and put small random amounts on it and just make it annoying. Legitimately, for our footballers' Christmas party, I was going to do that. I was at the store. Oh, you were going to put like $20 worth of... We were at Walmart, and I'm like,

we were doing a white elephant, and I thought, what would be better than getting a dollar gift card to just like 10 different places? Yeah. Oh, that's funny. That would be so irritating. 10 different spots. Because you don't want to throw out a dollar,

but you'd really love to throw out all those gift cards. Yes, you would. But they had minimum, you had to put $10 at least. But there's got to be somewhere where you can load. Yeah, the internet's got that. So I'm just putting that out there. got to be somewhere where you can. Yeah. The internet's got that. It would be. So I'm just putting that out there. That would be a fantastic. So the answer to this question is how do you, how do you deal with this friend?

Is you get them a great gift. You get them a hundred dollars to a steak. You get them a hundred dollars to a steakhouse. And if there's a minimum purchase, you know, if there's like, oh, you, we only sell minimum of $50, then you get the $50 gift card. You buy $49 worth of food. Yep, exactly right. And then you say, hey, in fact, what you do is you do a favor or you have them do you a favor first.

And then as a reward for that favor. Can you watch the kids this afternoon? As a reward for that favor, you get them that gift card. Is your gift card you give to them, is it $1.78 or $1.76? It's got to be the same. I want it to be $1. If they gave you $1.77, I'm giving back. I'm going $1.78.

Well, you're even kinder. Yeah, because I'm a better person. Yeah, you're such a sweetheart. All right, Waldorf from the website. Waldorf? I haven't met any Waldorf's. Do you know any Waldorf's? Worldwide. It's been a while. Isn't that a hotel, the Waldorf? I haven't met any Waldorf's. Do you know any Waldorf's? Worldwide.

It's been a while. Isn't that a hotel? The Waldorf? I believe so. What is the Waldorf historian? There's a good Charlotte song. Isn't that an animal, too, that lives with the big tusks? Yeah.

And coach of the Kansas City Chiefs, a Waldorf. Oh, my goodness. Waldorf Astoria. Oh, my goodness. Hey, guys. I said Waldorf. Oh my goodness. Waldorf Astoria. Oh my goodness. I said Waldorf Astoria. Yeah. Hey guys, I have a predicament at work says Waldorf.

Sounds like a children's book. I found him many times. Where's Waldorf? I share an office wall. That book would be bad because it would be a walrus, and it's just right in the middle of the page. Every page you turn, there's Waldorf.

Why? It's so easy to find among all these people on the page. Find the walrus. I'm sorry, Waldorf. Your name is totally fine. No, it's a beautiful name. You're a beautiful person. I found you. I share an, Waldorf. Your name is totally fine. No, it's a beautiful name. You're a beautiful person.

I found you. I share an office with somebody. I'm sorry, with someone who finds it necessary to sing along to the radio quite loudly. I find it hard to concentrate when it happens because it is so bad, but also so funny. How should I deal with this troublesome tenor without being rude? Ouch. I have answers for this person. I have an easy, perfect solution, but you can go ahead.

Well, it's ironic because I was just talking to Al Borland earlier today, or actually yesterday, and he was mentioning that in his day-to-day job, he shares a, it's like a co-working space. Lumberjacking? Yeah, lumberjacking. He shares a co-working space, kind of. And there's another person there. And it's very obvious. Like, it's, you make a sound, the other person hears it.

But this person sings show tunes at the top of their lungs. Wait, is this true, Al? Yeah. You got a show tuner? At the top of their lung. Wait, no, what, which, what's his go-to? What music are we talking about over here? We'll relay it to the Spill.

Yeah, we'll push it over. Disney songs. Oh, okay. All right, some Disney songs. Hit them with a little Frozen. I can show you the world. Oh, yeah. Is he pumped for a new Blue Genie?

Apparently people are real mad about that. Here's the thing. I know exactly what to do in this situation if you're i would start a new instagram account and it would be about this person and every day i would make a contribution because if it's funny enough if these songs are funny enough are you secretly recording yeah yeah i guess i am i believe that's an invasion of privacy. Well, they've invaded my privacy with these bad tunes. That's fair.

That's 100% true. I guess it would be. Look, if I'm holding the phone over the divider and watching this person sing Mariah Carey or something, maybe that's bad. But I would follow an Instagram account where I get to tune into the next bad song every day. It would do all right. Mike, what's your solution here? Noise canceling headphones. Oh, so yours is just practical.

This is the life advice segment. Those are probably not. What if they're not permitted at your job? You answer the phone or you interact. That's it. Do you sing with them? Or do you sing a different song as loud as you can? You sing the harmony.

You get in there, man. Don't be afraid. I would totally agree with you. You beatbox to whatever they're doing. I would. Having a roni. But the problem is, you said it's so bad. Yeah.

They're off key. And so you can't really harmonize with this person i think you just need to battle i think you need to bring in your own radio put it to something else and just drown them out one dollar and 77 cent gift card to voice lessons what i'll say what if you get them voice lessons what if you be a good, that's what people want. My bad painter friends, I get them painting lessons. Why not? That would actually be very kind of you, Andy. Yeah, it would be kind of me.

Look, it accomplishes. Look, you could use these. No, no, but that's what I'm saying. It accomplishes things. I'm getting my wife cooking lessons. That's going to go over real well. Either this person improves or they get the message that they're singing very loudly. Captain Confrontation over there.

Well, it's not Confrontation. It's Super Passive Aggressive. Fair enough. Classic Midwest. Jason, any other advice, or shall we move on to our draft? Just out to them. This is a new competition called The Voice 2. Shining, shimmering.

Take it to the next level. Splendid. The Spitballers Draft. All right, this draft suggestion comes in from Ryan on Instagram. You can follow us on Instagram. The address, instagram.com slash spitballerspod.

Share your thoughts with us. Share your draft ideas. We are always listening. That's why we tapped your phones. The perfect dinner. We're doing a perfect dinner draft. And so four rounds. You must include a main dish, a side dish,

a dessert, and a beverage. You can draft them in any order. So this is a little different. A little special. I like it. I think Jason has the opening pick today. And I'm very curious where he goes in terms of... There's one that I will be shocked if he doesn't take it. I am almost positive I know his first pick as well.

I can't imagine him giving it up. So here's the problem. I've been thinking about the strategy here. I've written down the actual best meal i've i've got that on my paper what should be the 101 in all four categories here and i'm trying to think okay let's say i lose out on that one what would i pivot to and so while my 101 i know what you guys think it's going to be i think there's other ways to pivot on that item whereas there's there's basically two items i have to have a must have but in honor of me wearing a shirt right that right now says it says

you have accidentally given me the food my food eats that's right shout Shout out to Ron Swanson out there. Shout out, Ron. What's up? Thanks for listening. Shout out to fake character. I'm going to take the filet mignon. Yeah, I know. That's exactly what I knew you would take. I mean, if you're talking about a great meal.

You're so basic, Jason. Watch your mouth. Now, you're famous for basically covering it in A1, right? Oh, God. What? A1 or ketchup. Or ketchup or ketchup no don't you there's a lot of things that i am okay with you guys putting on me i can be a buffoon sauce put it on me you can put a1 sauce on me don't you dare touch my steak no this steak is charred on the outside, medium rare. It is covered in butter. If you want to put some sauce, some nice Bernays, but it is a perfect 10-ounce filet mignon.

So that is your main. That's his side. And that is my dessert? No, that is my entree, and I win. I win the draft. So you have filet mignon as your main course. That's what you took one-on-one. You went main course to start it off.

I guess it's my pick then, right? It is. Man, I have no idea what I'm going to do. This is tough because I... Man, we got to go side dish. You got to go dessert. You got to go beverage. I'm going to go with an interesting main dish.

And probably going to fill out a little theme to my meal. Okay. Cereal. I'm going barbecue ribs. Okay. I'm going barbecue ribs. All right. Barbecue sauce.

I mean, that's great. Now I don't have to take a main dish until my last pick. I appreciate it. That's actually true. That's a mistake. I was surprised he went entree because I've already taken one. He could have grabbed the first in another category

that he chose. Yeah, I could have. But I'm setting the table for later. So go ahead, Mike. I have no idea what I'm doing. So you took ribs. I'm taking barbecue ribs. A full rack.

A full rack of barbecue ribs. Sure. That's my main. That's my entree. A rack of ribs. I've got the filet. Yeah. I'm getting them right down. You got the filet. Yeah. I'm getting them right down.

You got the filet mignon. I knew that you would go there. Although, man. What are we doing for lunch today, fellas? Oh. I need some meat in my life. Man. All right, Mike.

He mutters thrice daily. Mike is tilting over here, and he's got two picks. Let's put him on the clock here. Let's go. Yeah. So with my first pick, well, because it's a Nutri-Grain bar. How did you know I was going to do that? Yeah.

Yeah. It's, look, I don't know what to do that the people will want to vote for. Hey, you got to go with, you know. What's your perfect meal? Yeah. All right. So I'm going to start it off with the dessert. And I'm going to take, I call Jason basic,

but I will live in that world as well. I'm going to take a perfect chocolate cake. Oh, that's going to be a popular pick. That will be popular. There's not very many people that don't like a good chocolate cake. I'm not a big, like, I don't like chocolate ice cream, so therefore chocolate shakes. I just don't understand how you can not like it.

How do you not like chocolate ice cream? I know you can't. It might not be a preference. You like vanilla. I love vanilla ice cream. No, I love vanilla cake. See, if it were up to me, I'd always choose vanilla cake. I would choose vanilla cake over chocolate cake.

But my point is, I still like a chocolate cake. It's good. But you're right. It is basic. Yes. All right. Mike's got chocolate cake. He's good. But you're right. It is basic. Yes. Alright, Mike's got chocolate cake. He's got his dessert figured out. Now, do you eat your dessert first, Mike? No, I'm

not Jason Moore. Alright. He eats it first and last. Yes, he does. Mike, you've got a second pick. Your dessert is off the table. You've got a beverage, a side, or a main dish that you can select. Well, I'm not going to go with the main dish because that would be foolish for strategy. That's true.

This is what you're talking about. Even though the side dish, the only one that I can think of that I really want to take, I don't think either of you will take. But I'm going to do it anyways because I'm tilting, man. I'm tilting hard over here.

It's my favorite side. I love an excellent side Caesar salad. Alright, you're going side Caesar. Side Caesar. That's great. That's great. That's great. Look, there are things that I know that Jason

will select. That's my problem. I have a pick right now. Mike has the cake and the Caesar salad. I've got the barbecue ribs. I've only got one pick, and Jason's got two picks, and I know he's fine. Here's the thing, Andy. If you make this pick wrong,

I am going to dominate this draft so hard because I know my next two picks, and it's just not even going to be fair. I've got a real problem. Everything's up to you, Andy. I know, and I picks, and it's just not even going to be fair. I've got a real problem. Everything's up to you, Andy. I know, and I have to do it. I have to try to say it.

I realized last draft I made a mistake not taking Cherry Coke, so I had a Pepsi and a Coke because I would have won that draft. I'm not making the same mistake. I'm taking mashed potatoes. No! No! Come on! My belay needs those mashed potatoes.

I know, and they're mine. Oh. That's, like... I knew that that was... I'm happy you went with that because it upset him so much. Yes. But it's crazy to me that you would... Oh, man.

You believe that for a steak, mashed potatoes is the best side. Oh, with... No, well... A garlic mashed potato or a butter, you know, a... Asparagus. Oh. You think that I'm having one side here. You're crazy.

I've got... Well, you're only having one in this draft. It's a primary side. Now he has to pivot. Now he has to put his steak with something other than mashed potatoes. That's the thing I'm excited about. Now, my problem is I want something else to slip through. Oh, man.

Okay, so Andy has taken my mashed potatoes. I had to. I had to disable him. If we have a shot, Mike, he can't have fil Andy has taken my mashed potatoes. I had to. I had to disable him. If we have a shot, Mike, he can't have filet mignon and mashed potatoes. Honestly, ribs and mashed potatoes is a great start for the boats. And had you picked literally anything else, I could have punted my dessert. I could have taken a cup of bleach for dessert, and I'd win the draft. Where there's original.

Yeah. And honestly, I'm tilting here because I had beforehand. I had written down my perfect meal. And of course, it had mashed potatoes on it. And I had a pivot. I had a pivot from the side dish. And it was a side Caesar. I did it.

I did it, everybody. So I'm not going to. I'm not going to. Similar strategy to you similar strategy to you mike i i've got two picks here i don't need to take my side now because mashed potatoes and side caesar have been selected by you guys oh get basic jason so i'm going to start i'm going to start with my my beverage okay i've got a filet a nice red meat and I'm going to pair it. He's going to tie his tie tight. I'm going to tie a tie. I'm going to pair it with a beautiful glass of red wine.

Okay. This is a grown-up meal. Yeah, you have a very grown-up meal over there. Man, if I could have had the mashed potatoes with this, it's over. So now I'm looking at desserts, and I go, well, do I go votes? Or do I go with what the heart wants? Because, you know, you've got the classics, right? You've got cheesecake, which that's polarizing.

A lot of people love it, but a lot of people hate it. I'm right in the middle. I'm fine with a good – I'm pretty much fine with all desserts. Yes, you are. Bread pudding, which – Bread pudding! Yes. We went on a trip where I ate a lot of bread pudding and

there and that's how you ordered it yes and that that became the moniker of the trip was just bread pudding uh the problem with that from a voting standpoint is that it's called bread pudding 100 it's just a marketing issue Whoever invented the name bread pudding was an idiot. It is nothing. Like, where did they come up with this name? Pudding is not. It's a cake. It's a bread cake. It's delicious.

It's a cake because a cake is bread. It's a cake cake. It's a cake cake. Sure. But do they. I mean, did you take chocolate pudding? No. No, you took a chocolate cake.

Yes. But what if they called it chocolate pudding? You would expect something else. You know, when I hear bread pudding, I took a chocolate cake. Yes. But what if they called it chocolate pudding? You would expect something else. You know, when I hear bread pudding, I expect tapioca. I was like, oh, there's bread in my pudding. Is there a worse word? I know there is. Is there a worse word?

But one of the words that I just hate is tapioca. It sounds disgusting. Well, part of the reason you hate the word is because it's associated with the product. I don't even know what it is. It's bread in your pudding. But shredded. It's in the middle of sewer pipes. Tapioca.

They clean the tapioca out of the sewer pipes. Yes, they do. It is awful. So I've got all sorts of options I could go with. But because some are going to give me votes, some aren't, I'm going to go with my favorite dessert. Just period. This is awful. So I've got all sorts of options I could go with, but because some are going to give me votes, some aren't, I'm going to go with my favorite dessert. Just period. This is me. This is me time. I'm going with

my absolute favorite, the best pie that's out there. You know what I'm taking because you know it's my favorite. It's not the vote getter, but it is the best. It's banana cream pie. It is... He's crafting his exact perfect meal. Yeah, this is me time, fellas.

So you went with, you have a filet mignon, you have a red wine, and you have banana cream pie. You still need a side with your last pick. I have barbecue ribs and mashed potatoes. I'm not going to select my dessert because you guys both have one. So that means I need to go with my beverage.

And you know what? Look, I'm theming up this meal. I want to enjoy it. I've got barbecue ribs and mashed potatoes. I'm going with soda. I'm drinking soda. Soda water. No, sir. Soda pop. Okay, so what would you order? Because I don't think you can just order

I'd like a soda, please. I'm saying a refreshing soda of your choice. Whatever washes down this fine barbecue food. So you can draft, please. I'm saying a refreshing soda of your choice. Whatever washes down this fine barbecue food. So you can draft a Jean. I draft cake. I think soda. Whatever cake you'd like.

No, it's a category of whether somebody picks a Coke or they pick a Pepsi. You're getting a soda pop. I'm taking a soft drink. Yeah. Okay. All right. Hey, if Michael allow it, I'm going to get on board. I will allow it because I am a man of the people. I think that's a fair thing to do.

It also really sucks for me because I was going to grab a nice soda. Yeah, there you go. For my meal as well. So now- And I don't want you- We just did the soda draft. I don't want him to take Coke. Then I'm like, okay, oh, give me Pepsi.

All right. That's fine. Yeah, and if you want yours to be- I feel like I already know what your drink would be. If you want yours to be a glass of wine instead of red wine, Jay, you're welcome to do that. You don't know what my drink is going to be because I don't know what my main dish is going to be. So now Mike has gone dessert side

and he needs a main and he needs a beverage and he's got two picks right now and he don't know what he's doing. Well, no, I have two options here for my main dish. There's the one that I want to take, but he's got two picks right now, and he don't know what he's doing. Well, no, I have two options here for my main dish. There's the one that I want to take, but it's just in such a similar world to your guy's main dish that I don't think it stands out enough. I know what you want. Yeah, of course.

That's what I want. And what I want to do is i want to get a bacon cheeseburger yeah i figured you'd go cheeseburger but i'm not okay i gotta stand i gotta i gotta a full goofy movie he's gonna get a swordfish stand out above the crowd okay i'm excited and i at least know that our our guy brooks is gonna vote for me. Because I'm taking a pizza. Oh, man. I'm taking pizza. That's a tough one. That's interesting.

It's going to be polarizing. We'll see if I get 2% or a lot. A lot of people love pizza. I thought about it. I dismissed it as an option here. Yeah, because it's not like you don't usually get a pizza for your meal. You get pizza with pizza. You don't normally get a pizza for your meal. Like you get pizza with pizza. You don't normally get a pizza.

Here's the thing. Yeah, I was going to say, you don't normally get a pizza and then have a side and a beverage and a dessert like all together. Normally, you get a pizza. You just get a pizza. A lot of times, you're not getting sides. That's why I was- Yeah, the sides is the hard part.

You don't think of it as part of a four-course meal. Although I do. When I go down to the- Well, you do. When I go to the Giordano's- Well, that's the Chicago-style deep dish. You might as well get your fork and knife out. That's good stuff.

So I don't blame you for it. That's a good pick. That'd be a poll winner. Man. Now for the- And it goes well with the Caesar, honestly. Yeah, I'm happy with my lineup so far. I am furious about the mashed potatoes.

I am so furious about them. I am furious about the mashed potatoes. I am so furious about them because I look at my options. I already know what I'm going to take because you guys have your side dish and I know it's not my turn yet, but I'm just, I look at what I could have done in the polls and what

Andy's team is becoming. I've got a chance to win here, but I like to dominate or else I don't want to win. Right. I'm so angry. Yeah. I've got another pick here. Unfortunately, Andy took the soda, which is, honestly, that's what I would do.

So you'd be washing down that chocolate cake, the Caesar, the pizza? That's how I would be doing it. I feel like you've got a pretty regular go-to drink when you're not on keto i do but i feel like there's a drink that will get me more votes okay all right okay yeah you're talking about arnold palmer yes i assumed you'd take an arnold palmer you love them people love them i do i do love them but I'm taking craft beer. Oh, you suck. Oh, my goodness. Oh, you suck. Oh, my goodness. What a schlub. I am building to an avatar.

So just out of curiosity, because I've been wondering this for a while, what's your favorite craft beer, Mike? If you could pick all of your faves. I don't know if it's considered a craft, but I'll say Fat Tire. All right. So dang it, he had an answer. Maybe. I don't know if that's Kraft or not.

I don't even know it. When's the last time I saw Mike drink a beer? Does that mean that Kraft makes it? Forever ago. Like the macaroni and cheese? Yes. Yeah, it's with a K. Kraft with a K.

Yeah, Kraft makes Fat Tire. Okay. All right. So, I obviously have just one pick left. I have my main, my side, and my beverage. I need a dessert. It's between two of my favorite things. I mean, honestly, dessert's one of my favorite things in the world.

I love ice cream. I love cookies. I love tiramisu. I think that's one of the best desserts ever. I'm actually going to go with a milkshake. Wow, what an idiot. Not because milkshakes are bad, but because you have a much more favorite dessert that is better. Yeah, it's ice cream.

And you literally said it. No, no. Tiramisu? No. You said, I like ice cream. I like cookies. And you didn't take the pizookie. You didn't take the cookie cake baked soft with ice cream on top.

I will do anything. Oh, I won't allow it. I will not allow you to pivot. When that milkshake came out of your mouth, I was so happy to put that wooden stake through your vampire heart. You have no idea. For taking my mashed potatoes. That's legitimately my favorite dessert on this earth,

and it just slipped my mind. I was looking at your team. And I said them together. I literally said, I love ice cream. I love cookies. I thought you were going there. And I didn't put them together. I was so worried about your team with Pazuki in there.

Oh, let me write down milkshake. See, that's the problem in a draft like this when you know that you're going to get to draft a dessert and not compete with anybody else. I didn't start thinking. Well, the problem for me is I didn't know I was going to end up with pizza because clearly the Pazuki makes the most sense on my team. Oh, I am such an idiot. I still like chocolate. However, milkshakes are delicious. They are great.

Jason, now you've got a main beverage and a dessert. Now you need a side out of mashed potato. Oh, you can't get mashed potato. No, I know. Well, now let's talk trade here. I put a steak through your heart. Yes, you did. That's why I was happy to put the steak through your heart was simply because you had done it.

You've ruined my meal. Because even though I'm going to be happy with what I take, and it was my pivot, it's a great side. It's probably the most popular side in all of America. It's probably the side that I would have taken organically. The most common side. Right, and you should have. But I didn't. We should switch these because truth be told. No.

What I'm about to pick goes better with ribs. 100%. What you picked goes better with steak. 100%. And while mine is the most popular side in the world, you don't usually think of it. In the world? In the world. At least in America.

That's a bold choice. I'm going to write it down before he says it because I know what it is. It doesn't usually go with steak, but I'll still take it. I'm going to get the fries yeah oh never mind jason there is a fry named after yeah the steak fries yeah yeah i don't know if that means that it may normally go with together it just means it's as delicious as a steak so i actually wrote down i thought he's gonna take mac and cheese oh that's i knew he was gonna take fries or but then you were talking about ribs so so I thought maybe you meant coleslaw.

The steak fry, I believe 100% was served with steak. Great. Hey, this is great news, people. Now, do you base that on its name? I'm just kidding. That's probably right. No, he didn't take steak fries because I was actually going to launch into it. Jason doesn't even like steak fries.

He likes thin little potato-free fries. He likes the peel of the potato. Give me more of the unhealthy, crunchy, crispy, fried goodness and less of the innards of your potato. All right, Jason, read your team. I have a filet mignon with some fries on the side, a glass of wine, and a banana cream pie. Not too bad.

I've got a full rack of barbecue ribs with some mashed potatoes on the side, washing it down with a soft drink, a soda, and a milkshake is my dessert. It brings all the boys to the yard. It comes in the beautiful glass, but it also has the metal tin on the side, so I can double dip. Fair. And I had to scratch and claw my way back to the top, so I've got pizza, Caesar salad, chocolate cake, and craft beer.

Wow. Wow. All right. Well, there it is. There's our meal draft. You guys can vote on Twitter at SpitballersPod. Thank you for joining us on this episode of the show. What did you guys learn

today? Did you learn anything? Oh, I learned that revenge is a dish best served with a $1.77 gift card. Yes, I learned I am aging twice as fast as most people because I put on a lot of weight on a regular basis. I learned I am aging twice as fast as most people because I put on a lot of weight on a regular basis.

I learned that at least one of Jason's friends' kids is a horrible little person. Thank you for tuning in to the Spitballers podcast. Please tell your friends, tell your family, tell everyone on the block. And make sure you subscribe. Just hit the

subscribe button. It's free. It's 100% free. And if you enjoy fantasy football, check out the Fantasy Footballers Podcast. See you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com. We'll see you next time. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast.

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