Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 55: A Deal With A Local Wizard and A Draft Best Left in the Past - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: July 8, 2019

Today, Andy begins by sharing a couple stories about Borland from our recent travels. Then, after being approached by our local wizard, we discuss how many years of our lives we would trade in for ‘straight cash homie’. After a few more good ‘Would You Rather’ & ‘Situation Room’ questions, things begin to run off the tracks in our first (and possibly last) Time Travel Draft! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the show: Visit us on the web Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Instagram Subscribe on YouTube Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/spitballers/posts See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hey, Spitwads, do you enjoy this show and you want just a little bit more? I do. Oh, there you are. I love this show, yes. Oh, that's not annoying at all. Head over to spitballerspod.com and find out how you can become an official supporter of this show and get access to the complete archive, spitballerspod.com. What happens when three buffoons give life advice,

explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. I tried. I tried to go Louis Armstrong, and I learned a valuable lesson. What did I learn on today's episode? That you never go full Louis. There's only one Louis Armstrong.

No, but if you were one of those bridge trolls, I think it would work. Thank you, Andy. That's the voice of a bridge troll. Yeah, that's definitely scaring away three billy goats. Skip-a-doobie, give me a toll. It's exactly right. Welcome into the Spitballers podcast. This is episode number... Festivize!

Oh, that seemed a little spicy, a little loud. If you don't know what that's from, that's from the Footballers Podcast. Yes. But this is episode 55. And why? Why not? Sammy Hagar, that's why. Situation Room, would you rather an incredible, intriguing mock draft today on the show.

Very much so. We are also going to talk briefly about some... We've got the airplane woes that we've recently dealt with. Sometimes we want to share a little bit of our lives. Mike and I were stranded out of state for a couple of days. Met many Uber drivers, all sorts of different Uber drivers. I thought for a moment you were forgetting where we got stranded.

It was very bizarre. I don't remember much from that trip. Blocked it. Other than knowing that airplanes, or should I say airlines, have incredible control over your life. Yes, they do. Because if they don't want you to go anywhere, you don't get to go.

They already got your money and a lot of it. Yeah. And to everybody out there who said, just don't fly that airline. The thing is, is we don't, you don't book your airline 30 seconds before the day, right? That'd be a lot better.

You book it a long time in advance. Now what they need to do airline 30 seconds before the day, right? That would be a lot better. You book it a long time in advance. Now, what they need to do is open this thing up and force all these airlines to be refundable at all times. It's not like they don't overbook your flight all the time anyway, right? Yeah, they do. So just let people willy-nilly fly. Go between airlines. Let them compete on service.

Jason's just nodding along. Real quick. I agree. He's like, whatever along. Real quick. I agree. He's like, whatever. I was home. I'm going to say one quick question. I'll even ask Al Borland this one because I want to know the answer. If you could do just one small thing to improve air travel in America, it would be what?

Oh, wow. This is my own little. That's a big. I'm going to throw it in there. Just one thing. What's the worst part to you? That would be the thing you'd fix, right? That's how you invent something.

Okay. Find a problem fix it mine would be mine would be two seats per every row not just first class like my issue like oh look the customer service it's terrible the money it's terrible but i would rather just be able like i'm a wide man right and i i'm a a wide man, right? And I'm a thick, wide man. Like, I'm not... Very sturdy. I don't spill over. I just burst over the seat.

You break the rest. Yes. Because of muscles. Exactly, Andy. And the thing is, is I always feel so bad for whoever's next to me. You do. You're a very self-conscious flyer. Between your...

Between that and my snoring? You can fall asleep impressively fast i'm so jealous of you i can do it right now so jealous i have a hard time sleeping shout out i mean i i had shared shout out to snoring no no no this is just this is a hot tip if you are a flyer and you're a larger fella like our good friend jason and you're sitting on the aisle those armrests generally do go up. Oh, and that is a glorious day. You don't realize it because they lock.

But don't they contain you from being hit by the cart and stuff like that? Well, sure, but trust me, I would rather get hit by the cart once every 30 minutes than squeeze into that seat. But if you just reach under the armrest and run your hand to the back, eventually you'll probably find some kind of latch or clasp, and you can lift the armrest up. Do you know? I did not know that.

So I snore on sleep. You snore on sleep. I snore on sleep. So I snore on the plane. I can do it in a train. I can snore anywhere. But the thing is is like i i pretty much can't fly without sleeping like which you suck for that by the way the plane you're just

jealous so the plane the movement the sound everything it just puts me to sleep it makes me sleep it makes me glorious have anxiety attacks so we're in very different places so like this i can't sleep during anxiety attacks very well the last plane flight i was on the woman next to me i'm sitting in the i'm sitting in the seat and the whole time i'm just like please have headphones please have headphones please and then when she took out her little headphones i was like yes i don't have to snore right next to you you won't know it see if it's funny because i'm very tall and i think i'd keep the rose three if you could give me like double the leg room and let my seat go like flat i want oh i might be able to be right yeah the like the dream when you see those oh the ridiculous overseas first class where it's a bed.

I also thought in my head on the way to the airport how neat it would have been if the Uber driver could just drive you right out on the tarmac and you could walk right onto the plane. That is very interesting. And dangerous. Sounds like you're skirting some rules there. Borland, Mike, do you have any thoughts? What would you fix about air travel? I mean, it's the leg room. Okay.

Yeah, the leg room. So we're all okay with bad customer service if it's comfy. Also, length of flight. Is there any way that we can shorten this? Yeah, rocket engines. Would you like a really short flight that is horribly violent if you knew you were going to be safe? So your experience to go to New York City, here it's a five-hour flight.

It's like incredibly turbulent. Let's say it's 60 seconds, and it feels like you're basically blasting off into outer space, but you're there. It's over, you're done, and you know you'll be safe. 60 seconds, and I incur the G-forces of a- Yeah, there is no bottle there's no bottle service on this flight hey rip that bandaid off 60 seconds

60 seconds to New York squeeze my face to the back of that headrest cause you're not gonna crash I don't know if I could do it you'll take the 5 hours Borland any thoughts giving you such time. I would definitely take the 60 seconds on that.

You don't like long flights at all. No, I don't. Also, Al Borland, thank you so much for the microphone that you have to push the button to talk. You then cleared your throat on the microphone, so you held the button. Well, he didn't know he was going to have to I was going to edit that out,

but thank you. Don't you dare edit that out, but thank you. Don't you dare edit it out now. I would probably say unlimited high-speed Wi-Fi for free. Oh, that's a good one. That just seems like it should be. The first company that does that, I feel like you earn. Oh, they must make so much money off of it right now, don't they? Yes.

Yeah, I couldn't believe on that flight. They charge by the hour. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Insane. Now, let me. They charged by the hour. Oh, yeah, yeah. Insane. Now, let me hear. I'll give you a would you rather too. I know we're staying here a little long. That's all right. Whatever.

Here's your would you rather because I know you don't like long flights. So would you rather do one 10-hour flight, okay? It's a 10-hour straight or 10 one-hour flights where hour flights where you deboard sit down get back on the plane it's not a long layover let's say it's uh eight okay it's eight you can save two hours but you have to deal with the well he doesn't save nothing he i just want to know if you your anxiety benefits or whatever you're you're discontent with the long flight would you rather take eight separate flights? Give me the connections.

Really? That's crazy. That's what I mean. That's what I wanted to learn about you. I've learned that you're an insane person. That's the worst part. The takeoff and the landing are the worst parts. That's why non-stops sell for more money because most people aren't Borland. They want to go

straight there. Point A to point B. You want to get off. You want the duty-free shops in every city. No, I just don't like long flights. I like to get out, stretch the legs. You know you can stand up and go to the bathroom. I get that, but the takeoff and the landing, they keep me occupied and interested enough.

I get so bored sitting there. Interesting. I know for a fact I'll say two things that happened on this trip, and I have to reveal about Borland. Number one, he had to pee so bad when he got onto the flight and never got up because the woman next to him had a three-course meal and then fell asleep, and he was stuck for three and a half hours. Oh, I'm sorry, lady.

You're waking up. I got to go. The second thing, because he's so polite and so kind. That's so funny. The second thing, because he's so polite and so kind. That's so funny. The second thing he did, which was even more impressive, is we started, now we were stranded for two days in Chicago. Then we got a two-flight connection back to Phoenix. And right before the first flight, he goes,

you know what, I might get hungry on this flight. I might get hungry. I need to go get something. He goes and buys, and I'm talking a very large dinner plate-sized... Very fancy. Very fancy, large dinner plate-sized salad in a plastic container. What was this? It was like a feta and apple or something. Yeah, this was

$39.95, no doubt. So he goes and buys this salad. Well, the first flight goes by. He doesn't eat his salad. Now, why didn't you eat the salad? I just... It was a fairly early flight, so i bought it more for lunchtime but i just never got hungry on the first flight holds the salad it's getting a little wilty now as he gets off of the first flight holds the salad through he's got the boxes all beat up

and damaged and bent i made some joke about taking it off his hands or throwing it out for him he's like no no i'm gonna eat on this flight. Gets on the second flight. Flies the whole second flight. Did you eat the salad? I did, but not until after we landed. He never. Wait, wait, wait. It was such a large salad. Did you take it home?

I didn't have the elbow room. No, I did not take it home. I ate it while I was going to the baggage claim. What, did you eat it on the train? Yeah. So you got a salad in one city you ate a salad on a train in one city and then six hours later ate the salad at the baggage claim all right that was that was a surprising distraction so that's what we were enjoying i'm sure everybody has an airport

story most of them all of them probably suck uh you can find us on twitter at spitballers pod how did it taste was it pretty good no no it tasted eight hours old it's so but it was expensive as you noted so i could that's why you kept it through uh spitballers pod.com we're on instagram facebook and youtube you can watch the show youtube.com slash slash spitballers you got to be careful with that spelling yeah be be careful thank you so much for your reviews and support of this show we've got a lot of good stuff coming for spit wads out there here is one of your kind reviews review asaurus rags this one comes in from zkr movie monday five stars thank you mike zkr smiley face thank you the feeling i get from this show is probably equivalent to the way the employees of dunder mifflin felt when michael scott instated movie mondays

i can't wait to listen at work as i take my first sip of delicious coffee in the morning. What an outstanding combo. Perfect rebranding for Monday. Here's to many more hilarious episodes. Here, here, ZKR, smiley face emoticon. We did want to rebrand Monday, right? Yes. We wanted you to look forward to Monday.

Mondays are the worst. Don't drive off the road and crash into pedestrians because of how funny Jason is. That's a solid point. We found out two weeks ago that when I blew my knee out sitting, someone listening to the show who found it just outrageous. Just a little too funny. Ran into a bicycler. Now, we understand everybody is safe. Yes.

So it's okay. It does seem as though he was proud of it because he told us about it. He was not ashamed. They're dating now. Oh. That's what I hear. Congratulations. Yeah.

What do they call it? We're bringing people together. Okay. All right. Thank you for your review. We appreciate it. Helps the show. Let's get into our first segment.

The Situation Room. Oh, starting with a situation room. All right. You are approached by your local wizard. Not just a wizard. I like that this is not just you're approached by a wizard. This is your local local wizard everyone's got one right okay all right all right okay he says that he will give you

one million dollars for every year of your life you are willing to trade away oh this is how many years do you trade in oh man so borland do you get to relive those years? No. How does it work? What does he mean? You die younger. Oh, I'm sorry. So this is all future. Yeah. So you get a million dollars per year, but then does he tell you how long you're going to live?

No, no. This is a gamble you got to take. So you just say, I want one less than what I would get, and you don't know which would you lose. So if you say, hey, I'll take one less, then if you were going to die at 88, I'd die at 87, but I got a million bones. If I say, hey, I'm going to take that gamble, I'm going 10 years. I want $10 million.

If I was going to live to 97, oh no, I live to 87, but I got 10 million. But if I were to live to, let's say, 46, then I'm dead. I was going to say, there is a chance that you say Is there a chance you drop dead immediately? There is a chance, because if you say eh, one year, and you would have died in the next year. Now, then again, you would have died in the next year, so do you, I mean. But you die

instantly, and then there's just Yes, a million dollars on your body. Just you're covered in cash. So does your family inherit it? Because it drops from the ground, and you're actually killed by a million dollars. I want to believe that I would just say one year. But do I

want to even give away one year? That's cowardly. One year of not knowing my great-grandkids. Oh, so you're saying maybe you take zero. I think about it. I'm taking a few years off, that's for sure. I think about how many years I'm taking off because it's not zero. My children only got to know their great-grandparents for a handful of years.

I didn't know my great-grandparents at all. I didn't know my grandparents. You want to know why you didn't know them, Mike? Because they were rich as heck. They traded 10 years. They got visited by their local wizard. They lived a good life. Sans you.

Yeah, that sounds pretty cool. I'm envious. So the local wizard comes by, makes you quite the offer. I think... So I've got to be realistic. We've got to tailor this to myself. I don't think I'm going to make it to an extreme old age. Okay.

Okay, I'm giving myself... So you're probably not trading anything. Oh, I'm trading. I'm going to make it to an extreme old age. Okay. Okay. I'm giving myself. So you're probably not trading anything. Oh, I'm trading. I'm trading. Look, whenever I go, those last few years are probably rough. So I'm just taking those years off. Let's say it's, I'm going to say 66. Okay.

That's what you think you'll live to? Sure. And if I got to pay taxes on this? No, this is not tax. A wizard does not make you pay taxes. He gives you the money. He's like, hold on. I got your IRS forms right here.

He's a local wizard. That's true. Is this a municipality? I mean. He's part of your city. Now, this isn't a federal wizard. Maybe you only have to pay state taxes. All right.

Assuming I only have to pay state taxes, I need to make have to pay state taxes i need to make sure that i've got like i want two at the end so i'm taking three so three years off three years off so 63 instead of 66 for my guess for your best guess for my guess i didn't even know if i could trust this local wizard he hasn't worked himself up to this national wizard level mike what are you doing you see him on tv it's like a local lawyer commercial that's right sweet jingle his phone number call wizard call 1-800-602-WIZARD i'm taking i'm taking five really yeah yeah i'll take five million See, this is a problem because now Mike has more money than me. And I'm going to be jealous of all the things he's buying.

I think I just died a little younger. I'm taking one. I'm taking one. Man, you must hate your grandchildren. Yeah. I feel like with five, I have enough that I can do whatever I want to do. Just for the rest of my life. Because it's also five years shorter.

So I don't have... You don't have an infinite time to spend this. It's also a shorter amount of time. But I have enough money that it's... You're talking this is generational money. Now, Borland... Like a million, you couldn't just... You could quit and never work again, but you wouldn't be...

Oh, I'd be through a million in like two months. Yeah. I want to hear... Exactly. I want to hear what the Spitwads think about this one in the comments too. What you would do. What the exchange would be. It's a very interesting question. Now, Borland, hopefully you've been clearing your throat over there for a while.

How many would you take? I'm going seven. Seven? Now, is that because you believe you were going to live to 110? And you're just dropping down to 103? No, I just got to beat Mike. Al Borland is not afraid of the tables.

He's not wrong. Not afraid of the tables. He needs that seven. All right, new situation. He's going to make it 14. I don't know. Double down. He's going to come back. He's going to make it 14. I don't know. Double down. He's going to come back.

He's going to take seven years, and then he'll be back to the local wizard in a couple months and be like, I need another seven years. It's like a payday loan. Yeah. He's just going to keep taking off years. Look, I'm going to need another seven years. Sir, you're really cutting this one close. This next situation I don't believe involves any local wizards. You have been pulled into the universe of the last movie, show, or cartoon you watched.

Do you survive? Will you be able to get out? And will you ever want to leave? So now you've got to think of right here, right now, the last show, movie, or cartoon you watched. I know what I watched. I had to figure it out. think of right here right now the last show movie or cartoon you watched i know i know where i know what i watched i had to figure it out but we watched transylvania 3 last night the transylvania series is so good it's delightful when that first movie came out i don't think i've seen him i did not i didn't like the look of the art i thought it was so ugly that i was like i don't want to

see this but it was such a funny movie i love loved the whole series. It's great. It's Sandler and Sandberg. So what are you? What monster would you be if you're pulled into that movie? Oh, I gotta be a monster in the movie. You've gotta be a character in that movie. Oh, a character or just pick a monster? Pick a monster. Ooh. I mean, I think

being Frankenstein. Frankenstein's a monster. You are so Frankenstein. Yeah. I mean's that's not bad you're you're emotion you don't show a lot of emotion you got giant head Frankenstein's got a huge at least I would have a reason for it that's right at least you were lab built so mine mine is unfortunately like as it's it's I might as well have watched the andy griffith show uh it was designated survivor so i'm just in i'm just in america wait but were you in the first part of the show everyone gets wiped out i sure hope no because i was watching the the last season

so it's like this is like being in the west wing like yeah okay i great i work at the white house yeah but your your scenario has a lot more keifer sutherland doesn't it it does which is great because he's he's like known as a wonderful person um well the nice thing is i get the character uh okay and his character oh wait you're keifer oh can i be president do you turn into keifer twice in a row that i've been able to be the president jason you're the president but you're into Kiefer? This is twice in a row that I've been able to be the president. Jason, you're the president, but you're also 5'2 now. I accept. Is that how tall Kiefer Southern is?

I accept. Now me and Al Borland are the same height. No wonder he's so angry. The last show I watched was show called Yellowstone with Kevin Costner, where they're way up in the Montana plains, and they have to be cowboys, and they rough it out there. And I would, if I knew that was my life, I would change my deal with the local wizard,

and I would take about $50 million. That was a rough life. You don't want to live it? I'd die. I would just, a grizzly, or the cold, or hard work would kill me. One of those things. I'm never leaving. If I'm in the world of Transylvania.

You had the best draw here. I'm never leaving. I mean, I get to be a monster. We hang out and live at a hotel. None of them have jobs. Dracula has a job. He's the one who has to take care of the, while his friends are just freeloaders staying whenever they want.

Can you imagine living at a hotel for free that'd be excellent because hotel it's like it's a high class hotel hotel living is great it's just expensive you're like what what should i do with this towel i just dried my body should i hang this thing up nah throw it on in the on the floor it's in a ball hotel life and living is such a weird it betrays all of your everything you learned as a child or you try to respect at home i mean we spent we had three times we went back to the hotel that we thought we were going home and it's all been redone each time and then i'm just like do i just set my trash oh i'm just set it there and you can pick up the telephone and say bring me food oh and they're so nice.

I know. They were so nice at this hotel. I want towel animals every time I come back into the room. Fold the towels into little animals. Have you experienced that? I have. I've never been to a place that did the towel animal. You're not living.

I've gotten a mint. That's nothing. Talk to me when you get towel animals. What animal was it? Oh, it was a different one every time. I got an elephant. I got a monkey. I got a swan.

It was unbelievable. How? Towel animal life. Were you tipping? Do you have to tip for that? Because the tip life is... Well, the tip comes after the trip, and yes, I did tip. How does someone...

You're working the job. I mean, that's a rough job, right? You're being the house service day in and day out in the grind but somewhere along the line you picked up towel origami yes they they were so interesting they were trained in the in the or is there is there one is there a person who's hired that's their only job at the hotel it could it could be because here's the thing here's what was incredible you's what was incredible. You'd leave the room. Nobody sees me leave this room. Okay? I leave the room.

I go, you know, a little. I feel like I get 50 yards away. I forgot my wallet. I got to go back. There's a towel animal. Where did this person, when did this person. So they're also ninjas. They are ninjas giving me towel art.

All right. You guys ready to move on? Yeah. me towel art all right you guys ready to move on yeah would you rather all right our first would you rather question of the day let's go to aaron from instagram would you rather always have to listen to music at full volume or always have to listen to music on the lowest volume oh man lowest volume is not silent that's no you can it's still audible i know mike likes don't you dare isn't the problem is not the low volume it's the whisper sound it's all the lip smacking and disgustingness. You weirdos. I feel like I don't have the best hearing right now.

So I believe I would have to destroy it further to ensure that I could still hear it. You know what I mean? And that's the problem is this is not going to be helpful. And that's the problem is this is not going to be helpful. I hate being at the age where I don't know whether it's not loud enough or if I could somehow be getting hearing problems because I constantly can't hear stuff on TV anymore. I always need to be turning it up. How is that hearing?

Couldn't it be too low? Because if you constantly can't hear the things on tv you know that the tv like the producers of the show are not making it so that everyone can't hear all the different shows and channels well what if it's i mean what if i always just need to turn a little louder oh you're saying maybe you're the you problem is that you don't know the proper volume to put i don't know what the default volume. You guys know, channel to channel, it changes so much. That's true. I'll allow it. Did you guys ever have-

Full volume, I wouldn't be able to hear. Everything would blow my ears out, and then in a couple days, I'd be hearing everything at low volume because I don't have any hearing. I had a very specific moment where this happened, so I want to see if this, it could be just me,

where you have a life reflection moment where I was driving i a song from my youth came on and i wanted to you know i'm like i'm i'm going for it i'm going to have a good time on drive i'm going to turn the volume on this thing up and i cranked the music and i endured about 20 seconds i was like this is just too loud so i had the moment where i realized you wanted to jam out where i'm now the old guy and i want my music at a like a nice respectable volume instead of being when i when i was a teenager man that thing was i was rocking that music was maxed out did you ever experience this yeah or did it just happen yeah i mean someday you're gonna look in the mirror you're gonna be

like look at that dead hippie with them tattoos if because hippies get tattoos well yes that's correct yeah i so i'm i'm gonna go full volume and also for my wife's sake because she can't hear oh yes we're usually cranking that TV up to the max capacity. Does she have hearing deficit problems, you think? Hearing deficit problems, I believe she does. But it's okay because we now have to listen to everything on max volume. Would you rather, asks Zach from Twitter, would you rather have to eat the same meal each and every day

or never be able to eat the same thing twice in an entire year? I feel like we had a similar question to this at one point would you rather have to eat the same meal every day or never be able to eat the same thing twice a year man so i think i would run out of things that i like very quickly and what wait does is pepperoni pizza different than cheese pizza? Sure. Okay. But that just means you get, so that means you can't eat that more than those items,

whether it be four total times in a year. Right, but now I got- Two cheese, two pepperoni. Okay, two sausage, two ham. Oh. You see what I mean? Oh, I see what you're doing. I'm eating pizza every day.

Pizza's pizza. Pizza's pizza. That counts? Oh, I see what you're doing. I'm eating pizza every day. Pizza's pizza. Pizza's pizza. That counts. No hacking. You got to take the full brunt of your choice. Do I have to prepare this meal? Hold on. Hold on. Borland's going to get caught in a trap here.

Okay. Because if pizza's pizza, then that means if I have to eat the same thing every day, I can have a cheese. I can have a pepperoni. I can have a sausage. And I'm eating the same thing every day. It's just pizza. I can have breakfast pizza. I can have a pepperoni. I can have a sausage. The same thing every day is just pizza. I can have breakfast pizza. That's fair. You can have pizza every day.

That will get old. That's what I was going to say. That will get old quickly when the reflux issues you begin to suffer from happen within day one. If I eat pizza as every meal in one day, it's not good. It's not good.

The joke's on you. I already have reflux every day. No problem. Give me pizza day in, day out. I'm taking the same meal, which will be a different meal. Thank you, Mr. Boylan. I guess I got to eat something different every day. But every day of the whole year, I don't like that many things.

That's what the problem is. I don't like nearly that many things but maybe well if you're forced to actually eat something new i will find some new things i will lose a lot of weight that way i will because i'll skip meals or not eat as much burger you don't like it you don't eat it all burger right pizza steak i'm out of food. Like, what? Okay. Lasagna and spaghetti. Oh, come on. Mexican food?

Okay. Burritos, tacos. All of them. Enchiladas. You like all of them. Sure. I'm just, like, I think there's, like, 20 foods that I know of. Like, if we're saying a pizza is all one thing, I don't know that I can get past 25 on total. You got to go to what's a half a year.

Like half of three 65. Exactly. So, so you know, like around one 75, this happens at the gym every time because at the gym, instead of our, our trainer deciding to tell jason

to go pick up 240s he'll say jason pick up pick up two uh two dumbbells that equal a third of your weight and then but he doesn't do this like what is this what is this the brain gym he doesn't do this after stretching he does this after i'm already depleted and can't think or move and then he's like do this math and i'm like and then i end up with 80 pound dumbbells working on a mental sweat yes um man yeah i feel like i feel like our bodies are just wired even if you get the best thing the most delicious thing 100 of the time you just it time, you grow old. It grows old on you. Well, you do grow old no matter what you eat. That is a fact, Andy. All right.

Would you rather get one free item every year worth $100,000 or one free item every day, but it has to cost less than $150? All right. So here's the brain gym again. No, no. I couldn't do that one that quick. So I checked the calculator that you're talking $54,750. That's your total value. But you get something new every day.

Yes. But it costs less than $150. You never get like there's not a lot of things that cost $100,000. Like I'm getting a fancy car. But do you get to pick or does this item just show up like you get a painting like for us they're like here's here's your jet ski well you know you could enjoy doing nothing with this well a jet ski is not a hundred grand mike there probably

could be here's your probably isn't could be i the most expensive jet ski is probably 15 grand or something like that. Portland. Look it up. Jetski.com. I'm going to find it. So here's something that I've learned about myself. You know the five love languages? You're too familiar with this. Yes, I'm very familiar. If you're out there, you don't know.

There's this book, The Five Love Languages. Great for relationships kind of it teaches you that different people what what speaks to them in a loving way are are different you know some people it's words of affirmation or physical touch or gifts or acts of service things like that and for me there were two like i'm i'm all acts of service but gift giving and gift receiving is like, that doesn't exist in my mind, in my heart. I don't like things. It's so baffling to me.

It's the gifts. It's not the physical objects. I just thought you weren't a collector. No, I'm not a collector. I just don't care about things. So usually, like, Christmas or Father's Day or, you know, I just, I honestly, I hate opening things. You hate opening presents yeah because

i'm like there is because you're afraid of being like because i already know i don't care like i already know i don't care about what you got that's so rude i know it is and i don't want to be rude so i'm always like i don't want to open this thing i gotta put on this face i'm i mean thank goodness i'm just an amazing actor but that's so sad. But there's anxiety that I have over opening gifts. But I love me some really nice gifts. Like Tiff, my wife, she's always like, what do you want for your birthday? And I'm like, I don't want a mug. I don't want a whatever.

So you tell her that, but then she keeps buying you gifts, right? You know what I mean? I want a Tesla. Happy birthday, Jason. I want some 200-inch drop-down projector screen. Those are things I'm like, this is cool. So I'm taking the $100,000 gift every year. You can keep your fancy pair of jeans.

Now, if somebody else's love language is gift giving, I mean, that's a problem. Then you have to... I stretch myself for them. Okay. That's why you got to read the book. Yes. That's how you can communicate.

Absolutely. It's... Yeah, I think I'm taking the big thing at 100 grand. I'm going to take the cool item, even though it's totally a gamble. It's a once a year gamble. You could get something that is absolutely useless to you. Yeah, you could sell it. I mean, it's totally a gamble. It's a once-a-year gamble. You could get something that is absolutely useless to you. Yeah, you could sell it.

I mean, it's pretty valuable. Then you got to sell it. Sure. But, I mean, if I get a really nice $100,000 painting. Mike is really into those subscriber boxes. Yeah, the loot boxes. The monthly box. So getting something.

And they're like 95% of the time, too. They are just full of absolute crap and garbage. Yeah, do you keep any of that stuff? Some of it. Sometimes you bring it here. Stop it. Sometimes I bring it here. Sometimes I give it to the kids.

And my wife hates, hates when I give it to the kids because we're trying to declutter the house. Meanwhile, I have this addiction problem where I love presents. And boxes. So the loot crate is a present to me every month. And a poison. But then Jason, I open up, I go, nah. Hey, kids. Do you ever see the episode of Everybody Loves Raymond

where he gets his parents the fruit of the month club and they get overwhelmed with the amount of fruit that is constantly coming and beg him, like, Raymond, please stop it. Stop all this fruit. Whatever you did, what did we do to stop all this fruit whatever you did what do we do to deserve all this it's pretty funny i also like jason's oh you could just sell it do you realize that there is there is danger that comes in selling of an item that costs one hundred

thousand dollars like the russian mob might yes you might you might knock, knock. Hello. Hello. It's me, Mr. B. I understand you get $100,000 every week. Yeah. Every year, Mr. B. I'm not dead. Danger's my middle name. Bring it on. You will have a lot of crap if you get $150 worth of stuff every day.

Yeah. You will have so much crap. Your house will be overflown. Your wife's going to be so upset, Mike. Yes, she will. Give much crap your house will be over your wife's gonna be so upset mike yes you will give it to your kids all right let's move on the spitballers draft all right this draft suggestion came in from matt on the websites on the website spitballerspod.com. We appreciate each and every one of your draft suggestions, your ideas for segments, would you rather, great questions, all of that. This one comes from Matt. He says it is a time travel draft.

You are sent back in time 100 years, which would be the year 1919 as of this recording, and you are able to bring with you four items. What do you bring? Are these items we have already? Are these any items that exist on the earth, Borland? Like, how does this? I think it's any item.

Like, if I wanted to bring back. But if I said $10 million, can I bring it back? You have $10 million? Well, he just said any item. I think it's within reason like do people do people have this you know what i mean like do do normal people have this because like if i wanted to bring back a spear obviously to protect myself great pick i don't currently own a spear so then it would be like i i should be allowed to bring a spear back with me, right? Okay, yeah. So within reason, I think we can all agree that, you know,

if this is an easy-to-procure item or someone we know has it, I think that should be allowed. Okay, so I'm trying to figure out what's going on in 1919. To prepare yourself? Yeah, so the First World War has just recently ended. Mussolini has established the Fascist Party.

Great news. Shout out to Fascist Nation. I'm going to bring back democracy. Well, we still had... Dude, what do you bring to 1919? Well, you certainly wouldn't bring like a computer. You got no internet.

You got nobody servicing anything. No software. There's no way that you'd be able to... That would do you no good, right? Did they have calculators back then? Well, you could be the... You'd bring it back as the inventor. Dude, if you brought a calculator back, you'd be the smartest guy around.

That's what I'm trying to figure out. Solar-powered calculator. You'd just go around and say, hey, ask me a math question. So you just want to be popular in 1919? Did they have electricity back then? No, I know they did, but I don't know. I'm bringing $100. Just $100?

I'm just bringing $100. Now, what's $100? Do they have one of those interest? I'm sure they100. Just $100? I'm just bringing $100. Now, what's $100? Do they have one of those interest? I'm sure they have an inflation. Inflation calculator? Yeah, I'll figure that out. Because look, I don't mean to brag. I could find a way to get $100 back.

Someone thinks highly of themselves. Which is the equivalent to $1,450. Oh, you're rich. So Mike is bringing back $1,450. Oh, you're rich. So Mike is bringing back $1,000. The number one pick in the draft was how much, Mike? $1,451. Woo! $51.

So let's say you fill your bag and you put that $100 in there. Let's say when you go through the time machine, it shows up and it's $1,451. I'm pretty sure I can buy at least five homes with that much money in 1919. Wow. I guess that's true. All right. Now I'm done. Good luck.

What are you bringing, Jason? Okay. I know mine. What? I'm bringing me a horse. Yeah. Take that, everybody. Do you know how many horses I can buy with my $1,000?

Oh, you can't buy my horse because I brought him back and he's not for sale. I'm bringing back the biggest, strongest, most loyal horse around. Look. Now, is that going to serve you well? I mean, cars are around in 1919. Wait. When did the Model T start? I feel like cars are the turn of the century.

Were they not? Cars existed. But you got to have like 100 future dollars to buy one of those. So I'm going to stick with my horse. Look, I'm going based on red memory. The Model T was sold by the Ford Motor Company from 1908 to 1927. Yeah. So not only is it available...

It's at the end of its run. It's peaking. So the Model T is around. That's fine, but try to go off-road like I can. Okay, my horse can go anywhere I want it to go. Just to be clear, if I was to hypothetically use my next pick on $200, I'd be in way better shape than Mike, right? You would be in better shape, but I think money's been taken.

So you say money, I guess. No, he says $100, but nobody else can take money. And you're taking a horse back. I'm taking a horse because I'm living this draft based on Red Dead Redemption 2. Now, I know that I'm about 20 years early in that world, but I'm thinking about that world, and I can't be in there without my horse. That's true. Thank you.

Well, I mean, look, there's a level of preparation that you feel like you need to bring to the table, right? When you go back in time. Why did we pick 1919? I feel like- I don't know anything about it. It feels like it's not quite old enough to be the Wild West. Like if you were going back there-

No, it's definitely not. In that time. All right. I'm going to bring. No, it's definitely not. In that time. All right. I'm going to bring, I'm bringing back a Tesla. That's my pick. Good luck charging that thing. Yeah, it's not solar. Yes.

So you have a car. He's going to have an awesome week. It's great. You get to go 300 miles. One time. Is there really nowhere I could possibly plug in? Not to power that thing. Where are you going to charge this thing?

I wanted to be both cool and practical. Hold on. Was Tesla even alive in 1919? When did he live? Oh, the Tesla. Yeah, you can show him. Oh, I'm not bringing it back for him. He was alive.

Well, but just saying the irony of you going back in time saying, here's a car named after you, good sir. So maybe you could bring him the car and he could figure out how to power it. Oh, gosh. This is a real Marty McFly went back to the 1800s. No way to get up to 18 miles an hour because there's no gas. Exactly. But you want to know what's not going to run out of juice?

What? My horse. My horse be galloping when you're i will run i will use 300 miles of my range to run your horse over i will 100 ruin this for you i gotta take a second yes i think what i'll do is i'll revolutionize my own self-defense, and potentially my country's, and bring back a... What weapons don't they have, Andy? Well, now I'm very worried that I will make another mistake-level pick here.

A lightsaber. You can't bring... Well, I guess you can bring a plastic toy back, sure. I was going to bring back like a very modern assault rifle. I thought that that would do well for both power for myself. I mean, it's World War I. They've got machine guns, right? Yeah.

Great. Whose idea was this draft? Can we go back another hundred years and start the draft over? Can we start the draft over a hundred years earlier i love where this draft is at because this 1919 is like apparently now you've got everything see if you didn't take that i know what my next pick is so you would have taken a weapon oh yeah but i would have taken a six shooter i'm going for the time well you still i will let you take a six shootershooter if you want, but I'll stick with my assault rifle.

I'm thinking of survival in this time. I'm thinking of prestige. I'm thinking of what I need. I figured a car, a fast car that would get me around. Apparently, I've really got to. Now, Mike, does it lose battery life? You have a Tesla. It loses battery life just sitting there, though.

It's not like I have 300 miles to just use up anytime I want, because that would be okay. Yeah, your Model 3 will run out of battery eventually. Great. This is the dumbest. I'm going there. Because when I first saw this, I thought Wild West. Then I'm realizing as I'm doing this, this is not Wild West.

No, it's not. How do you prepare for the depression? By bringing $100. Thank you. The draft is done. I win. I'm on the clock. Andy's taking the assault rifle.

Now this has shifted to how can we survive the Great Depression. I am bringing. Cannabines. I am bringing a stock almanac, my friends. The stock market is alive and well. I don't need your $100. Did you say it's alive and well? Do you understand what-

For another 10 years, it is. I was going to say, do you understand what- I know that I'm going to sell right before the Great Depression, my friends, and I'm going to watch everybody else having a real bad day while I go, I'm going to cause the Great Depression with my sell of all my stocks. Maybe you did. Maybe I will. How are you affording all these stocks, Jason oh just look doubling my money i'm not afraid of the tables

you don't have any money i'll sell my horse i'll sell my horse i feel like i could give jason like one calendar year to find a stock almanac anywhere he and he would not be able to find it. Do we seriously have a record of that somewhere? I'm sure there is. I don't know. Look, he could easily say he could just bring back the history of the stock market, and that's a really good pick.

Yeah, there you go. It's worth a lot more than $100. But I want to see evidence that there is an item that actually shows you what stocks were penny stocks and then rose in 1919. Look, Mike, all I know is with our powers combined, your initial funding and my knowledge, we're going to live it up. And I'll buy more horses and nobody can stop me from being an equestrian. I'm going to have to waste a pick on an electrical outlet or something, aren't I? Probably.

That infers that I have picked two things. You thinking that you get to make another draft pick means that I have somehow picked something, and I have two picks. Yes, you do. And I have literally picked something and I have two picks. Yes, you do. And I have literally zero ideas of what to bring back. Well, actually, no, no. I take that back.

Top of the head. You're going back tomorrow. What do you bring? You got to decide. You're going back tomorrow. You don't have to be real practical. You don't have to be real smart, obviously. I have to figure out how to... Oh, got a great idea okay i'm bringing back a top of the

line absolute best moonshine recipe because the 1920s that's when bootlegging was at its finest and now i'm making money you should do that guy with $100 in that moonshine recipe? I am going to need to borrow your car. So he's, Mike is worried. We're working together to survive the 20s. Mike is worried about me being safe selling $100,000 items, but he wants to live on the black market creating and selling moonshine. I'm pretty sure that was not safe.

That is absolutely correct. If you went back in time tomorrow, man, there are some bare necessities of life that I think we're forgetting about. That's all I'm going to say. For sure. What, like food? I don't know what the toilet paper situation was back then. Charmin Ultra. I think what is the opposite of Charmin Ultra?

I think it was just like the equivalent of. One ply. No, it was leather. No, I can tell you. Leather hides. Reusable leather? Leather. Wait, no, not reusable.

It's just. You can't afford a strip of leather to wipe your butt every single time? What are you, a fancy man over there? I really don't understand how people lived back then. It's not necessarily 1919, but two or three hundred years ago you know what's so funny i just would have died in 1919 they thought they were oh my gosh i have my next pick in the most modern of the world you know the world had never been so industrial and modern as it was in 1919 and now we look back and think how did they wipe their butts?

They didn't care about wiping their butts. They cared about food on the table in 1919. They cared about staying alive. Well, I finally feel like I know I can make up for my poor picks, but I've got to wait a little while, Mike. Oh, well, there's 0% chance I'm going to take what you're talking about.

How does one stop drought? Stop drought? Water? it the rain to happen yeah like is there any other way you can because that because now i'm trying to i think that scientists have not yet you think it was way worse in 1919 than it was no that's when look i'm i'm looking things up and so it's reminding me that that was the dust bowl i mean that was a huge part of the great depression is because central america or the middle of the u.s like all the farming went right they couldn't grow anything right yeah how do i i'm trying to figure out how to be a man with an assault rifle that's the key to living so is there a was there something i could do to prepare these people and prepare their land like were they were they... I don't think you're going to be able to bring back a physical object.

Can I bring back a cloud? No, you can't. A rain cloud? Well, you can do that if you can actually bring a cloud anywhere else, Mike. Ever. Can you bring a cloud anywhere right now? Let's say if you want to bring one up the street. Right.

I would like to see your cloud right now, Mike. There are science experiments you can do where you grow clouds. You could do them then that can't be a thing of course it's a thing you can grow clouds you're trying yeah we know how clouds are formed so we can make them you're trying to solve all the problems that you think exist in 1919 but if you had to go back tomorrow the problem is you live there if you knew you woke up like you went sleep tonight, and you woke up in a bed, and then it's 1919, and you looked around, what would you want with you? What would you need with you? So you think it's Terminator style, you show up nude.

And you can't buy pants in 1919. Not with this $100. What is your team so far? $100 and moonshine recipe. That's the worst thing I've ever heard. The best part of this draft will be people who didn't listen

to the episode. They just see the poll and are voting. We should almost post name this draft. You have $100 in a Moonshine recipe i have a model three and an assault rifle jason has a horse and a stock almanac because he's the most reasonable person here the best part is we didn't even bring up the fact that like you know how money is always

changing and evolving and being more safe if someone brought future my hundred dollars is not going to do anything yes Yes, nobody's taking that. It's like if someone from the future brought us money, it's like, that's no good here. That's not currency. Oh, my gosh. So you brought nothing in a moonshine recipe. You brought $100 in a moonshine recipe

and you woke up and you've got to live in 1919. I'm bringing farming equipment. That's my pick i am bringing farming you're planning for the long haul in this yeah i guess you got to grow your own food back then with a hundred dollars you can buy some seeds and you can take the moonshine recipe and drink yourself to death no no, no, no, no.

A true pro does not use the product. Have you seen the movies? Yeah, I've seen the movies. All right. Your team's crazy. Jason, you have a horse and a stock almanac, so you've got your money taken care of, your transportation taken care of. Yeah. You've had some time to think.

I've had a lot of time to think about nothing and so that's what i've done um but here's what i think i'm gonna bring back because i live my life in flip flops uh i have flip flops on right now they don't exist it's not gonna work in the dust bowl and it's not gonna work in the dust bowl it's not gonna work in the 1990s it's not gonna work hopping onto my horse so i am taking me back some snakeskin boots. Oh, all right. He's just building his character from the game. You're darn right I am.

And I'm going to get some hair tonic. Yeah, I'm taking back some snakeskin boots. Because definitely your 1919 and 1850s are confused right now. That's fine. I'm going to be awesome in my snakeskin boots on my horse with all my rich money from the stock market. I'll be whatever I want to be. All right.

I'm going to, I'm going to have to, I'm going to have to fix my model three situation. But my next pick, I'm taking back some antibiotics. situation but my next pick i'm taking back some antibiotics i'm taking back some medicine with me because i could show up with my cool assault rifle and my tesla but catch a little cold and be done for because i've always said i wouldn't have made it in the oregon trail days anyway and antibiotics they didn't come around for a while i'm like 1928 it appears so yeah So, yeah. Alexander Fleming. Yeah. I've got eight years to survive until Fleming gets this thing off the ground. I could help him along.

Probably did. Wow. Probably did. Yeah. So, antibiotics makes tons of sense to me. Got to bring that back. That's not bad. And then I don't think I'm going to be really content with my living situation back then. We're talking about outhouses. We're talking about outhouses.

We're talking about... Can I bring a modern home with me? How are you bringing a modern... How can you possibly bring a home? How much of a home can you lift up? It's like bringing a cloud. And they bring me your home. I'm searching for cloud machines.

That's really a not fruitful search, Mike. Why? Why I'm searching for cloud machines. That's really a not fruitful search, Mike. Why? Why are you searching for cloud machines? Mike believes there's a world of people carrying clouds around. I don't know where we're going. Apparently, there's like... All right, you got to bring four items with you. Well, then, clearly, I need to bring a complete solar power system.

It's going to help me in the house with electricity. Nobody's ever, you know, not many houses are going to be fully wired up. I can live wherever I need to with my assault rifle. I am safe. The reason I took that is I just thought, look, it's a rougher time. People are going to come after me

when they see my spaceship. Andy, how much do you know about repairing solar panels? I have no plans of letting this thing get hurt. I will protect it with my life. Or with your assault rifle. Oh, no. The solar-powered system will have a plug. I will plug my car into it.

I will bring my gun with me everywhere. And I will have antibiotics for when things go south. Now, how is this solar panel system, what's it hooking into? It is a very simple system, Mike. They're very common. There's a couple of panels. Uh-huh. And then there's just kind of like an AC outlet situation going on.

Ah, yes, of course. Yeah. That makes tons of sense. They have those. You can bring them camping. Borland, can you confirm this? They do. Thank you.

Yeah, you can bring like a solar powered to not look i don't care if it takes the car six months to charge i'm willing i'm trying to solve a couple problems i'd have lights probably so i'm on the clock now right sure um did you get yeah yeah you got the tesla model 3 yeah assault rifle, the antibiotics, solar power. Oh, my gosh. This is the wildest draft we've ever done. Real quick, here's what's insane. I just realized, you drafted the Tesla Model 3? I just drafted a Tesla.

Okay, because it says Tesla Model 3 in there. I didn't know. Did he actually specify that, Borland? I think he just said car. At one point, he said, I have a Tesla Model 3. That was just visualizing the circumstances. If he said it, that's what you got three i that was just visualizing the circumstance that's what you got because i just i love that what are you going to take the other version you could you

can take a model you don't need a model x you got a horse wait he's looking for a place to live the model x would be a great place to crash but anyways um look i can go a bunch of different directions here right do i want to go health? Do I want to go entertainment? You know, something back then. What can I bring to entertain me? But I look at what I've got right now. You could bring back the lyrics to all the Beatles songs.

Isn't there a movie coming out about that? Yeah. That would be good. And likewise, I started racking my brain for like, okay, all right, what about an invention? Yeah. What's something that revolutionized the world? A laundry machine? That I could bring back and deconstruct and use that to bring that invention into the world earlier.

You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. And so I am going to bring back the patent. Okay, because that would be what shows me how to... For Velcro. Okay, the patent for Velcro. Yes. I heard Borland audibly laugh in that situation.

For Velcro. This is the toughest... I'm going to revolutionize the world. I feel like if we had gone back in time 500 years, this would have been so easy. It would have been about survival. We went back 100 years, and we are destroying this draft. We are not leaving this.

When was Velcro invented? Velcro, I'm pretty sure, was invented for space exploration. Okay, good. That would not have been before. Okay, so you have the patent. Yes. How do you then have the ability... Oh, that's easy, Mike.

I have... To make Velcro. I have so many connections from my rich stock market friends that I've made from my stock almanac that I'm now connected with business owners and the biggest brands of which I know who's going to make it. You know what I mean? Right. When did Johnson & Johnson start?

Because I don't know if they started yet, but if they did, I'm all in. But there's a series of events that needs to take place, advances in technology to get to the point where people can even make the Velcro. Are you trying to make money still? Didn't your stock, Almanac, get you enough money? You can literally bet on every right stock. The Velcro invention, you just want Velcro? I just want Velcro.

You can bring Velcro. I just want Velcro invention, you just want Velcro? I just want Velcro. You can bring Velcro. I just want Velcro. I will allow you to audit your draft pick to just Velcro if you so choose. You can do the patent, but then you've got to manufacture. That's what I'm saying. And I don't know if I trust you to manufacture. So if you want to take, Mike, do you approve an adjustment? If he wants to just take Velcro, I'm okay with it.

No, I approve nothing. You have the patent. You can approve it, and I still would take my patent i took the best pick sir what is that that it's a piece of paper also i want to know how do you are how do you alter the patent for velcro so that it shows that you are the owner like if you're stealing the patent it's already done it's got the name of who made velcro. It's very easy, Mike. I ripped that part out. This is paper. There are no other traces, no copies.

I ripped that out. So just before Mike makes his final pick, Jason's team, as it stands today. It's good. Going back 100 times. Now, I will give us the incredible credit of saying, look, we didn't prepare these answers. You'll be surprised to know. I know this will shock you. We did not prepare these.

Jason has a horse. He has a stock Almanac, which I still am not sure if it exists, but we'll go with you. He has some snakeskin boots. They're so fancy. Highly available in 1919 for some of the money, but just you want them from day one. I wanted to show up with some hot snakeskin boots and then you have the patent for velcro jealous i have a tesla i have an assault rifle i have antibiotics and i have a solar power system because of the

unfortunate circumstances that you guys showed for me. Although, I will say, did they have gas? I mean, was gas everywhere and plentiful then? Not plentiful, no. I mean, the Model T is, so they're using gasoline of some sort. I like that he brought back the solar power system, but the only thing that's going to possibly use that is the Tesla. Not true. He doesn't have cell phones.

He doesn't have anything he's plugging in. Oh, I can't plug anything in, huh? Right. You don't have a TV, so this is just for your car. Yeah, you have one outlet. Dang anything. Oh, I can't plug anything in. Right, like you don't have a TV so this is just for your car. Yeah, you have one outlet. Dang it. Oh my goodness. And Mike. That's nice transportation. Mike's is worse than either of ours though.

He's got $100 from the future that's worth nothing. He still has a pick to make. Moonshine recipe. I guess farming equipment is at least sensible. Yeah. And what's his last pick, Mike? Make it a home run. Well, I know he spent some time deciding on a home run. I'm taking back Sammy Sosa. I just love that guy.

Look, I need a best friend to help me farm. It's lonely out in those fields when you're by yourself. He's still searching for cloud machines because he wants a cloud. That is halfway correct. I'll be honest with you, Mike. If we could figure out cloud machines, I'm pretty sure that the climate of our world right now would be remedy. You're talking about inventing new things.

I don't mean actual like I'm making a cloud that goes in the sky. I'm just saying it's a tiny science experiment. It's tiny? But why would you want to bring back a tiny cloud? Is it for your farm? It's just for my own personal farm. Just move where it rains. Bring some water.

It rains. That's already, if you're bringing this cloud. I'm going to run out of water, Jason. You're going to run out of clouds evaporating. A well, bring a well. Clouds evaporate. All right, you got one pick left. Luckily, you have $100, some moonshine, and a farming equipment.

You're built for the 1920s. They're coming in. The depression's on the way. We're bringing it on. Your $100 will run out. I don't think you're going to make it 10 years on it. But you got one pick left. Maybe, maybe not.

All right. I'm bringing... I'm trying to look at things that were... Like Jason, I'm trying to look at things like jason i'm trying to look at things that were invented later and see if there's anything i can do with it uh how how well did silly putty sell oh gangbusters i mean it's still around like kids still love silly putty bringing back some jacks i mean newspapers are full of jacks newspapers got to be a big thing in 1919. And what's better to go with a newspaper than some silly putty?

All right. What about you? Bring it back. Silly putty. All right. Not the patent for it. Just some silly putty. Just to play with and show off. Well, well.

Check this out. I am going. Look, I will take silly putty because that's what I think of this draft and this draft idea. I tried to be like, hey, guys, we should probably discuss this before the show. No, no. We'll let it ride. We'll just do it on the show. So I will take Silly Putty.

I think we've done a great job. Take a victory lap. Yes. So that is it for today's episode of the Spitballers Podcast. Thank you for joining the last episode ever of this podcast. Because it's not gonna get worse thank you for joining us we'll see you next time maybe goodbye thanks for listening to the spitballers podcast to see what other nonsense the guys are up to check out spitballers pod.com. Thanks for listening to the spitballers podcast. If you want to hear more,

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