Spitballers Comedy Podcast - 87: Dirty Soap & Luxury Mansion Items

Episode Date: February 24, 2020

On today’s show, we discuss online dating profiles, face tattoos, hot tub etiquette, and surviving in a video game world. In our ‘Life Advice’ segment, we hand out some impeccable advice to some poor folks who were likely better off without it. We shut down the show with a draft of extravagant items we want featured in our luxury mansion. Subscribe and tell your friends about another hilarious episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the show: Become an Official Spitwad! Visit us on the Web Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Instagram Subscribe on YouTube Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/spitballers/posts See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hold the phone. Hold the phone before the podcast starts. I want you to hold the phone in your hand. Just take your phone out if you're driving. Take both hands. Hold that phone tight. No, don't do that. That's not...

Two hands on the wheel, please. Two hands on the wheel, two hands on the phone. That's true. We're going to need... There's a four-hand situation. What are they, Goro? I need two on the wheel and two on the phone, and here's what you do. You want to help support the show, become part of this awesome community we are building. You go to

spitballerspod.com, click become a spitwad. That way, we listen to your questions first. We're going to give you the priority that you deserve. You're going to help support our show. We're going to have a good time, and you get early access to every single episode we make. Go to spitballersPod.com. Become a Spitwad today. What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve?

It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Oh, the music man failed. He gave up. He stumbled and fell. He was surprised by what happened. There was a hitch in the giddy-up, and then I just completely fell on my face. Oh, wow. How do you feel now, Jay?

I have never felt better about myself than seeing... Speed up! Hey, has anybody... This is what, show 87? Yeah. Something like that. Has anyone ever completely failed? Not done a poor job, but just like...

That's as close as we get. I think we got there, and I'm so proud that it wasn't me, because if we took Vegas odds on who would stumble to the point of just quitting, which is... We actually had those odds, and I put everything on myself, and. And I've just cashed out. And I'll be quitting the podcast with my riches. Welcome into the show, Spitballers. That was awesome. At SpitballersPod.

SpitballersPod.com, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. Would you rather on the show today we've got some more life advice coming your way? A draft that Jason and I are not prepared for? I feel like my life has prepared me for all drafts. I feel like if you were a small child at any point. And I was. You have prepared at least a little bit for this draft. Yeah, I know what you're saying.

That's true. That being said, be careful about how sure you are that you'll be able to perform because you could end up in a real Mike scatting situation. Yeah. It's embarrassing. You could take it for granted. Let's get started. Would you rather?

Would you rather Judge Giamatti or Al Borland? Because now Borland's back. Yeah. Are you feeling good? I am feeling way better. Thank you. That's not good. Superman feels good.

Not feeling good, but you're better. That's good. We had Brooks in the cockpit. A lot of goos. What did you think of his scat? I mean, you had just had to do your own. I loved it, man. It was great.

A rig it, get, get, get. It was actually pretty impressive. He was ready to go. He did not try to fight back. He did not try to argue about it. Not that I saw. Sure. But the thing is, when you have one scat yeah it's easy peasy lemon squeezy when you have

had to come up with i don't know how many times i've had to do this 87 divided by three minus two well we didn't we weren't doing it at the beginning and then like my turn never gets skipped which i think is a credit to me. Right. To me. Because you're clearly so good. And so now I own the best and the worst scats of all time. Different ways to think about it. That's for sure. Would you rather question from Spam Fries on Patreon, one of our Spitballer supporters.

Would you rather make every decision, no matter how complex or simple by flipping a coin or have to write out a pro-con list that you go over with your wife for every decision every decision oh so by flipping a coin or have to do the pro-con list for everything so you're either spouse you're two-faced because he solves everything with the coin, even though the coin is rigged. Or you have the pro-con list with the wife. So this is really another way to look at this is to say, would you like to make wise decisions slowly, monotonously?

But you may never ever make a decision. Slowly, monotonously. But you may never ever make a decision. Or would you like to quickly just guess on the answer of every life decision? Here's the worry I have about the coin. At first, I was like, okay, maybe that works if you're browsing for houses, right? And you're saying, do I get this house? Flip a coin?

No. All right. Go to the next house. Flip a coin? No. You'll get a house eventually. Right. But what happens when it's, am we going to have kids?

Oh. And that coin flip. That's a lifer. You don't get to make that decision again. I wish I could have blamed the coin. Here's the thing, though. Wouldn't you start changing your questions? Should I try to have kids today? I see.

If you want to hack it. The problem with the pro con list is my wife is super type A. She is a lister. Her lists have lists. Oh, really? They write lists themselves. Oh, myister. Her lists have lists. Oh, really? They write lists themselves? Oh, my goodness. These things have full-on AI.

They hit the singularity. They are aware of themselves. And they just continue to grow. And she lists and lists. We were just with some friends who came in out of town. So we were playing the game Codenames. Have you guys ever played this game? It's a really, really good game.

It's fabulous. Oh, my Have you guys ever played this game? It's a really, really good game. It's fabulous. Oh, my goodness. Do I love this game. In fact, Owl Borland showed this game to us. We just went on our ski trip, which I survived, and also did not ski. Yes, congratulations. Was that key to not skiing? Part of survival was not skiing, but we played Codenames there.

So continue. Wonderful game. Not a sponsor. So I'm up. No, not yet. I am up. I am the clue giver. My wife and one of my buddies, they are guessing for the clues.

If you don't know what we're talking about, essentially, I will give one word. I give a one word clue and you have to guess which words represent that clue. Your goal is to give a one word clue that could apply to the most possible terms on the table so that your teammate can figure it out.

Yes. So I gave my clue, and I said two. Clue word, two. So there's two words out there that have this clue. Our turn was 25 minutes long. What? Not really, but our turn was at least five plus minutes of my buddy going through the list

and then my wife being like, well, hold on. Making a list of what it could possibly be then sub-listing well, maybe he said this because he means this, which means this. So you're saying you don't really have

the ability to go for the if i did the list if i do the pro con list i will starve to death yes so you're going coin see i i don't have a choice i have to flip the coin i feel like my wife and i are on the other end of the spectrum where it would be pro con list it would be like you're both pretty impulsive yeah well we're we're uh you know it was we i'll say this we have a really hard time making decisions maybe the coin would help us out like where do you want to eat i don't know we throw out 500 places none of them sounds good enough we need it we actually need the coin that's surprising to me i feel like you guys would would be able to handle it doesn't surprise me it doesn't no because think about the last five six years of going to lunch with Jason.

When has Jason said, I want to go blank? He's always kind of just... I'm a go-along guy. He is a go-along guy. You're both easy going. Okay, I see it. That's fine. All right.

I see it. These places are good, or any place you want is also good. But I feel like our pro-con list would be like, pro, I really want to do it. Con our pro con list would be like pro i really want to do it con nothing that would be like well that would be real easy then yeah you should go that direction i'm gonna flip a coin all right i'm gonna flip a coin for quick and easy decisions effective decisions yeah not effective quick and easy i'm i would freak out too much on where that coin landed i'll just be type A and go pro con list. I'm trying this.

You know, it's like the movie The Yes Man. I'm going to try it. I'm going to be flipping a coin for a month. Like a 24-hour period where every decision is a coin flip. And we'll see if you're still married in 25 hours. So coin flip can be yes. Sorry, honey. I had to go to the casino.

Could be yes or no, right? Yes. Or it could be two options. Yeah, it could be yes or no or A, B. Should I go to the store and get groceries today? Nope. Sorry, hon. The coin said no groceries.

Tyler from Patreon, would you rather give yourself a neck tattoo or get a face tattoo from a professional artist? So you give yourself a neck tattoo or get a face tattoo from a professional artist. So you give yourself a neck tattoo. All right. Or get a face tattoo from somebody that is a pro. So would you rather have a terrible, bad neck tattoo or a good face tattoo? Yeah, it would be a stick man. I would have a stick man. I could put a cross.

I could definitely do a cross, like one of the little tiny line. Smiley face? I could pull a smile. Well, I think my smiley face would look like. The Blink-182 smiley face? I don't know that off the top of my head. Oh, that was a good reference. Yeah, I imagine if you get to get away with a very small tattoo on your neck.

Yes, I mean, it's smaller. Let's make it this then. It's still on your neck, though. It's the same tattoo in both places. Ooh. Okay? And so it's a it this then. It's still on your neck though. It's the same tattoo in both places. Ooh. Okay? And it's a good enough tattoo. Let's say it is a, I don't know.

Hold on. Wait, what just happened? I missed a moment. If we weren't on YouTube, I wouldn't bring it up. But this man to my right, Jason Moore. I pulled my knee again. You did it again? Yeah, I did.

He pulled his knee. And if you think this man is pretending you didn't see his face, I saw this face. It looked like he had just bit off a bite of an orange. I mean, he is wincing. So I sit here and I put my feet like, so we're in an office chair, right? Where at the bottom there's the five. Three of them. Yeah, I've got the same chair as you.

Right. I'm just describing for those. Andy, do you have the chair? Yes. I'm not explaining this to you, Mike. I'm explaining. I'm explaining my knees are fine and they've been fine for every show. But I do this thing where I put my feet back and under the leg.

I don't know why I do that, but apparently when I turn and my foot is stuck, it hurts my knee. I'm lost now. Let's say it's the same tattoo all right let's say it is a tattoo uh it's the size of about a fist oh that's a big one so you're either doing that's a really big tattoo for your face i agree but you're either doing that big of a tattoo yourself on your neck which is still visible or you're having a professional put it on your face i will go neck if it's a quarter i will wear i will wear the most obnoxious um mock turtle neck turtle neck shirts for the rest of my life yeah i can't take a quarter of my face up with a tattoo if i were to have a tattoo on my face you know it would be like a teardrop it'd be the murder it'd be a teardrop. It would be the murder? It would be a teardrop.

The size of a fist? No, that's just this. My old cheek is one. Look, I've only committed one murder, but it was a big guy. It was messy. But, you know. That guy is dead. If you see a teardrop.

Real dead. You know, that's an automatic be afraid of me, right? Right. I imagine you. Which is so weird. Why? Your tattoo, Jason, I know what your an automatic be afraid of me right right i imagine you which is so weird you're tattooed jason i know what your tattoo the tough guy has hold on i cry a lot yeah like or when you murdered someone you're like i shed one single tear for this person who's no longer alive because of me why is that the symbol that just reminds me of like fighter pilots didn't they have marks on their like as many bogies that they've shot down just reminds me of like fighter pilots. Didn't they have marks on their, like as many bogeys that they've shot down?

Or like you're in college football and you get those symbols on your helmet the better you are? The war, you're at war. I don't want to get into the philosophical debate about that, but like why is it a teardrop? I don't, Mike. I'm not going to. Where's like the thumbs up? Let me tell you this. Got him.

Here's what I know. We are the three least qualified people to know why it is. All right? I have no idea. What I was thinking Jason could do is you have a beard. Yes, I do. You have glasses. Yes, I do.

You could remove both and then tattoo them right back on. That could be your face tattoo. Tattoo. If you had a tattooed beard and tattooed glasses so the tattoo how dumb would you look the tattooed beard would be 100 fine because it would be under my beard eventually oh that's true like it would just i would just look like i have a thicker beard a darker beard i'm into that that's actually now i'm thinking this might be the tattoo i need but the tattooed glasses would look so stupid because you'd see both at the same time.

It's not like from every angle my glasses are... I guess I was thinking you wouldn't put glasses on again and you wouldn't grow a beard back. Okay, so I can't see now. Yes. And also you can see how fat my neck is. You can't see how bad your glasses tattoo looks. That's true. So your beard is hiding

your neck fat? Look, if I had the jawline of a handsome man um then i would 100 not have a beard i have a beard for one reason one reason only it's fat neck i have a really you would be a clean face 100 i mean i love he used to be a clean face yeah yeah remember what i did when you were a handsome man exactly when he had the jawline of willem dafoe no i i absolutely would not want a beard if it wasn't for my fatty fat fat neck all right and the thing is called the gobbler but yeah that's fine the thing about so part of this is fat right part of it is being overweight part part of it part of it some of it is actually a genetic uh mutation well pretty much

are you an x-men the more the more men uh-huh not not the mormon but the more men okay my last name being more yeah us more boys we're following uh we have a very unfortunate like right under our neck it's just it's pouchy it's poochy like when i you have a neck pouch i've got a i've got a little it just hangs a little bit more walnuts no there's no practical function for this the only i mean that's why i have to have a beard the rest of my life i've got a beard because even when i when i lose weight i'll still have a little neck pooch. I don't want a neck pooch. What if you grew your hair only in the areas that you want to cover?

Well, so just a neck beard. Just a little poochy neck covering. I think that would be even less handsome. It's like pants for the neck pooch. We are lost. What was the quote? I'm going neck tattoo. A face tattoo is insane look i already have

a neck tattoo and that's a good point i will not be getting a face tattoo if you want a face tattoo fine you're not cool enough are you no i i am not i am no post malone who just continues to add more and more tattoos to his face every time time I see face tattoos, I think, what does this person look like at 85? That's all I can ever think about. At 85? Who gives a crap about 85? That's the argument against tattoos of,

well, aren't you going to look? You're like, well, I'll be a tatted old person. That's fine. And when I'm 85, I will be just wishing for the sweet relief of death. I will not be worried about my tattoos. When Post Malone's 85, Mike, I want us to check out that picture. We'll have another conversation. He will be gone when he's 85.

That's a good point. And he will still be rich. Stephanie from the website. Would you rather, with your current physical skills, be trapped in the world of Super Mario Brothers. Okay. Or the world of Pac-Man. Wait a minute.

All right. This isn't fair. Why is that? Okay. Just think about small Mario. Mm-hmm. Now think about, and I'm talking Mario Uno. We're talking Nintendo Entertainment System, the first.

Think about every step that he jumps on. It's his height. It's the same height as him okay okay that's just to get up like a step my personal physical skills i would be jumping and grabbing that ledge and pulling myself that's one step and i'm like i got a hundred steps to go up and now there's a flag over there but if i drop from the top of this i'm just dead i'm up in a mountain that's true but i'm never making it to the flagpole there are mushrooms that you can eat that will make you double the size not enough or a flower that can make you throw boogers of fire out your nose if we're talking about the classic nes version the only thing that would help me

is the leaf that allows me to fly. Let me counter it with... Well, that's... Now you're going Mario 3. Now you're breaking your own rules, Jason. Well, sure. I had to get there. All right, but let me counter it with this. In the world of Pac-Man...

You're running a lot. You're running... You're running a lot. You are running nonstop because the ghosts are coming to get you and they will never, ever, ever stop. At least in Mario, you can have a seat and relax for a little bit. This is not your jogging app where you get to jog for three seconds and walk for 60 seconds.

It's sprint forever. It's sprint until you die. But you do get to eat the whole time. Oh, yeah, Borland. Oh, man. That's true. And you get the power pellets every once in a while. Do you like cherries? Oh, yeah, Borland. Oh, man. That's true. That is a real... Do you like cherries?

I was going to say, not only just the pellets, which I assume are cheese, but in addition to that, I would get the cherries and all the other specialty items. And the ghosts at times. Yeah. Now, how many fruits the size of your body have you ever consumed? The size of my body? Like a man-sized strawberry. I could do it.

You could do it. I could do it. I believe in myself. And thankfully, what are all the cherries? I think it's just all fruit. Yeah. I imagine the Mario world, you're excited you're in that world. You're running full steam.

You get to your first jump then you just plummet to your death i mean you're dead at that point this has to be i mean is there a way in which we could still like succeed at the mario world like what what can we bridge on this question to make it to because if it's my physical succeed at the Mario world? What can we bridge on this question to make it to a... Because if it's my physical abilities right now, then I'm not getting past the first... I'm not getting to the halfway point of the first level, ever. Well, are you actually trying to beat the levels,

or are you just trying to make a new home? Or are you like, I live here now. I took the first pipe down and this is where i live and then i walked to the left went back in the castle said i live here now do you get the music the whole time my is that important to you it is yeah you get the music because i like the super mario song but if i have to hear it 24 hours a day i wanted the feather so that i had the cape so that i could fly. Now you're on Super Mario World. It's my own rules.

I could then do what I do in that game half the time, which is fly and then go flying as high as I can until I cross the finish line and cheat the level. I love the way that you're working. I looked up the Pac-Man fruit just so we could get our bearings on this. We have the cherry.

Any bananas? The strawberry. This is the original. Okay. Cherry, strawberry, orange, apple, melon, Galaxian starship. What? Bell and key. So wait, you eat all these fruits and then you eat a starship? According to Google, this is what we're talking about.

A Galaxian starship. I'm going to go in the Mario universe still. I'm going Mario for sure. Do you like mushrooms on your pizza? Yeah, yeah I do. Okay, well that'll work for you. Yeah. Spitballers to the rescue. James from Twitter needs some life

advice, some help, and we're here to give it. Oh, James. The most serious of men we are. And here's our answer. I'm at a... Oh, here's his question. I'm at a resort. Here's our answer for James. We traditionally want to give...

The answer is yes. The answer is, of course you should. Now, let's find out what the... We should have a new segment that is Jeopardy style, and people give us the answers, and then we have to say what life advice question is this relating to. James has a question. He says, I'm at a resort. I really want to get into the hot tub. But there is already someone in there.

Okey-doke. Should I go ahead and get in? And if so, is it required to make conversation? I've been there. I've been there, James. How big is the hot tub? Normal size hot tub.

That's like a 5x5. Whoa! You gotta make conversation if it's that tight. Oh yeah, for sure. There's no way you're getting in there and just staring at them. Staring through them them you don't have to stare you can get in not talk to them and not stare no but the point is if you get in there and you're not going to talk the only way that's acceptable airpods is yes put the airpods in okay okay the only two ways that's acceptable is either you have airpods which is a great idea andy or you have to like

turn away from actively back put your back to them and be like i'm just you know you otherwise you are so rude to just sit in this thing and never if you acknowledge if you're like what's up or whatever you do i don't know your colloquialism that's your hot tub green night nice water yeah and then and then you know they say hey and then oh it's so hot you can leave now when you're in the hot tub i like that that's what i'm saying like if you're in the hot tub is is the small talk now transferred from the weather to simply talking about how hot the water is or are you allowed to wear some hot water like a hot a hot tub is meant to make you feel good. Yes. So are you allowed

to exclaim? Just sit there moaning? Oh, that's nice. Oh, you'll be on the hot tub alone real quick. Bubbly. You want your own hot tub? I recommend a cannonball into the hot tub and then moan. Do you worry about the... That reminds me of a

true story. Well, let me ask this quick question and then you can tell your story. Do you worry about the... That reminds me of a true story. Well, let me ask this quick question, then you can tell your story. Do you worry about the sanitation situation in a hot tub? Because there are people in and out all day, and I know that they're supposed to load it up with... I mean, you should come out of there with chemical burns, but you don't worry about that at all? I don't.

I don't, because I... All that hot water? As long as I can smell the hot tub from up in my room because it's so chlorinated, then we're good. You always can, but I also feel like the hot water kills everything. It doesn't. It's not hot enough. It's half the temperature of boiling water.

Hold on. Hold on, Jason. So we know this. We know that boiling water disinfects things. Yes. The water in a hot tub is actually not boiling. It's air making it look like it's boiling. I see the bubbles, Mike.

I think you are being correct. Hold on. Let me ask this question because I know the answer to this. How hot do you think a hot tub is, Chase? Okay, that's a good question. Do you know that answer already? It's too hot. Tell me this.

Hot and hot too. Tell me this. At what temperature does water boil? 220 degrees. Okay, that's a good brah. I thought it was 212. I'm going to guess. 212 might be right.

I'm going to guess. That might be right. 212. Yeah. Very nice. Or 100 Celsius. I'm going to guess that a hot water is. A hot water.

Go on. A hot tub. I'm just realizing how stupid I'm going to come off here. I'm going to guess 115 degrees. If you want to die. Yeah, you'll die there. Because it's too cold? Yeah, about 100 to 105 I think is normal. Yes.

Okay. I thought you were going to say 150, 160. No, because I know when you get in a pool. He was going to say that until we shamed him. I want to hear your story, 160. No, because I know when you get in a pool. He was going to say that until we shamed him. Yeah. I want to hear your story, Mike. It's a hot tub story? Yeah, it's a hot tub story.

So back, this is a few years ago. You both know my youngest. He is the most rambunctious and the most rebellious of the right crew. Well, he was, I don't know, three or something. So we go, we're on family vacation and we're going down to the pool and the pool is, is a, is a bit cold. And in my youngest, he's a bit of a runner. He was a free spirit. He will do as he pleases. It's time to go. I say, let it's, we're getting out of the pool come on bud let's you know let's let's go he runs off a couple times he's running around the pool and i'm like dude this is not safe

and i i finally corral him the last time though he he he sneaks off he runs and he does a cannonball this cannonball unbeknownst to, is into the jacuzzi. No. He thought it was a regular pool? Because it was just water. We didn't let him go into it because he was way too young for a hot tub. And the look on his face is something I will never, ever forget. Just pure panic.

I mean, he's in floaties. This is how young he is. Just cannonballs right into the hot tub. Skin melts right off. And just is freaking out. Wow. That's what you get, man. That's what you get.

Then you throw him in the regular water. How cold is that? Anybody in the hot tub? There were some people in there. So he cannonballed into a busy, used... Did you guys used to do the hot tub into the pool? I am not surprised. Oh, absolutely.

The hot tub into the pool? You either had that or you had a friend who had that and you had to do the back and forth? Absolutely. I mean, how do you not do that? Well, did you ever hear the rumors that it was like, this is going to cause brain damage? That was one of the rumors when I was young. I'm proof that it never did. I did it all the time.

In my 150 degree hot tub. How can that cause brain... I'm just telling you what the rumors were. But I'm not dunking my head under the hot tub. Is that part of it? You don't go head under when you're little? I don't go head under when I'm any size. I don't want my kids... Like like if they get in the hot tub,

because we have one at our house, it's like 10 minute max, no heads under the water. We didn't have those rules when we were little. Anybody want or choose to put their head under water in a hot tub? I can't believe you didn't go under the water. Kids just want to swim. My daughter, when she's in the hot tub, it's like a nightmare for her because it's like sit still and enjoy the water.

She just wants to swim. Al Borland, when you went in the hot tub it's like a nightmare for her because it's like sit still and enjoy the water she's like she just wants to swim owl borland when you went in the hot tub as as a young lad did you go full submersion yep yes you're you're the weird one now i see why they correlate it with brain damage because stupid people did that and they're like well they must have got it from the hot water no they had it before going under the hot water that's why they went from the hot water. No. They had it before going under the hot water. That's why they went under the hot water. That's fine. So do you have to have a conversation? I think we said yes.

You have to at least... You have to acknowledge their existence. The answer, James, is no. I think the reality is... I'll handle it. So my wife and I went on a staycation, and we wanted to go down to the hot tub and the pool area in general. It was a heated pool. wanted to go down to the hot tub and and the pool area in general it's heated pool and um there there was like one person in it and it was a small little area right and we just waited a

while we're like let's just wait until they're done because they're like swimming laps did they ever get done freaking two hours later they're still there and we're like well we just we're gonna go make best friends not really we just thought we're gonna go go make best friends. Not really. We just thought we're going to go down there. And we went down there and it's really, really awkward to get in. Like it was nighttime to pay. It was outside nighttime. And so it's like this kind of intimate. Kenny G playing romantic.

And then it's like, but there's one person here that we're getting in the pool with. We don't know him. It was, it was super awkward. You're talking about the pool. Yeah. How small is this pool?

Oh, yeah. Too small. Yeah. It's a pool. I don't know why people... That's too small for three people? It's not that it's too small for three people. It's that no one else...

If there were five people there, it would have been fine, Mike. If there were five people and we're adding two people, that's fine, right? I just don't swim. I mean, why go through the process of social interaction at this point? Did you think about do they have the lane dividers? No, this is not a big enough pool for a lane divider.

That would be a real power move. If you had a lane divider and you just cut them off and said, this is my part of the pool. Adam from the website, help me settle a marital dispute. There's nothing we know how to do better. It's our specialty. My wife dropped our bar of hand soap onto the floor. Liquid soap, Adam.

Problem solved. She said, now we have a dirty bar of soap. But I said, now we have a clean spot on our floor. Who is right? What if the answer is neither of you? How could it be neither? It could be both. I think no matter what, you have a cleaner spot on the floor.

No matter what. Even if so, the bar of soap. The bar of soap could be dirty, but you also have a clean. If it's a dry bar of soap... Was it dry? I assume so. And it just falls and clanks on the ground. Any antimicrobial things happening?

Probably not. And is the soap really dirty? When's the last time you used a bar of hand soap? Well, that's what I was saying. 1989. 1989 Irish... When you're at a hotel and they have the bar of soap you're like how infuriating is that dang it like yes i would love to dry my skin out thank you very much well if you wash your body with the bar of soap how many times does that slip out of your hands and you have to pick it up the last time i used a bar of soap it must have been 10 times where I'm like,

goes, Can soap really ever actually be dirty? Yes. Roll it in a, take a bar of soap, Mike, go outside, throw it in a bunch of dirt. Now pick it up. Would you call that a bar of soap clean? It's going to have dirt all over.

More realistically, I don't remember the last time I threw a bar of soap in a sandbox, but more realistically... I remember it. ...is body hair. Right? Yes. Why is soap a magnet for body hair?

I don't know. Probably because you use it by rubbing it all over your body hair. That's my guess. But if you go to grab a bar of soap and there's hair on it, that's why I said yes. That is a dirty bar of soap. It's a filthy bar of soap. It's disgusting. I need to now burn this bar of soap to cleanse it.

But I also think there's a situation where if dry soap hits the ground, leaves a scuff of soap, wouldn't you clean that up? Wouldn't you take a paper towel and wipe it up? Yes, you would. So you don't do that if it's not dirty. Well, it could be messy and not dirty. Jason's thinking deep. Well, I want to give good marital advice here because I feel like...

The best marital advice we can give is somebody to be right and somebody to be wrong here. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's the best advice we can give. We need winners and losers. We need a winner and a loser in this marriage. And I think, ultimately, I'm picking that bar of soap up and I'm using it. No big deal.

Yeah, that's how I feel. If I have to pick one, I guess you have a cleaner spot on your floor. Yeah, Adam, congratulations on your awesome floor. It is so clean. Al, do we have time for one more life advice question? We sure do. All right, good, because Senior Big Chest from Twitter has a question. Senior.

What do you call that symbol above the N? Do you know what that's called? I think it's a tilde. Well, that's a tilde if it's not on. Is it Tilde Swinton? It's a nice reference. It's called the squiggly. Well, it's a tilde if it's not on. Is it Tilde Swinton? It's a nice reference. It's called the squiggly.

Isn't that just an. It's a squaggle. An accent? It's not an accent. I don't even know what to Google. A tilde. What do you call the thing? Above a word. It would be a Spanish accent mark.

Oh, boom. What? What? Flavico. Flavico. What's it called? A Spanish accent mark. I called it an accent mark. Oh, boom! What? What? Flavacol. Flavacol. What's it called? A Spanish accent mark. I called it an accent mark.

And then you said it was a Spanish accent mark. I thought I was right. Did I boom too early? No, you were right. Okay. It's got to have a name, though. Well, here's the question from this fine individual. Hold on. There's things talking about the tilde. I'm sorry. Sorry. Go ahead. No, no, no. You're good.

Good. It's the tilde. It's a fundamental unit in written language that has several uses, and then they give the example of the N. But if you hit the tilde button on your keyboard, you're not going to get an N with a tilde on top of it. No, you have to hold down the N. Oh, really? Yeah, if you hold down those letters, then you can push one or two or whatever.

What? Yeah. No. What? What are, then you can push one or two or whatever. What? Yeah. No. What? What are you talking about? What sorcery is this? Yeah. Tell me what to hold down.

Go to whatever, wherever you can type, and then hold the letter N down on your keyboard. Okay. And then what do I do? And then eventually, it'll pop up right by your text saying what the other options are. You are 100% correct. Oh, you're right. Wait, what happened to the holding it down, and then it just goes, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and. Like, that's what it used to be. You are 100% correct. Wait, what happened to the holding it down and then it just goes, like that's what it used

to be. Interesting. Alright. It's true. When did we switch? Very nice. Nicely done computer people. That's an upgrade. Good for you, Mr. Gates. I am so sorry that I brought that up. Bill Gates did it. Single and wanting to start dating again.

I work a weird shift and I don't get to meet many people in person. Could use some life advice on creating an online dating profile. Help me market myself. Ooh. Okay. All right. It's been a while. Working a weird shift.

But we're still professionals here. Means they are on a vampire schedule, right? This means you're up at night, sleep during the day. So the first question I would ask is like how you know why is that important to this well because if they're thinking about dating maybe you've got to go the gothic route or the vampiric route hot topic i think he was just saying the shift thing because he doesn't get to meet people in person because of the shift well but you're not gonna i mean are... I would not be disclosing that, like, hi, I'm Michelle. I work a weird shift.

Like, that's not how you make a lead on a dating profile. But how could you date someone that has, like, the opposite... Like, let's say you work nights and you sleep in the day. Can you date someone who then... Yes, that's illegal. It is totally allowed. It's just not... But how's it possible?

What Jason's saying is correct. Your lifestyles will not mesh. Well, let's put it the other way around. I'm going to insist here that the point was simply that they need our help because they can't make the profile. They have to make a profile because they can't meet people. You are correct. And my advice, and maybe it's different than yours, is to be honest so that you can find someone with a matching schedule. Because otherwise, imagine if you tried right now, you know, pretend you're single, and you tried to date someone who every evening.

I would change my schedule for the right person. Oh, so this is. But I don't want to eliminate them ahead of time. Right? So you're getting a new job. If I meet the right person sure all right how do you meet them by filling out a dating profile where i'm not telling them that i'm not available during the day i literally have never ever filled out a dating profile so i don't even know what questions

are asked here but it starts with you saying you're six'3". Right. That's how we're starting. I like it. With senior big chest. Well, people. Also, I hope you're 6'3". Or you need lifts. Right. You want tall, dark, and handsome. That's the quintessential.

That's what I've been told. So you say I'm 6'3". Great tan. I'm very handsome. Great tan. And my mom says I'm a looker. My mom says I'm a looker my mom says i'm a looker tall i would not go with that one okay well so there's two pieces of major advice here right which picture of the rock do you upload is your profile picture one without his face ah you crop

it right at the chin right well look at mr big. Big Chest. If you put his face in, it's going to be very clear that it's not you. And then they can say, I'm looking at your picture. This is not you. If it's just all the muscles, you can say, I had a real bad spinal accident seven years ago. I've atrophied. I've atrophied since then. So you can either be honest. Atrophied.

I've atrophied since then. So you can either be honest. So I think at the very least we can establish that you either have to be honest about your job or you need to find a new line of work. Right? Because you're saying you'd find a new job for someone that's worth it. So maybe that's the real piece of advice here is quit your job. Ooh. If you want a date. Well, that would mean that they probably don't need to your job. Ooh. If you want to date.

Well, that would mean that they probably don't need to go online. They can just meet people in person. There are a lot of people that swear off online dating. My sister won't go that route no matter what. No matter what? But I think that that might be synonymous with women not wanting to go that route. I don't blame them. That's what I mean. Our advice has been lie about yourself.

Yeah, and there's like, what? Probably like eight to one dudes out there trying to find a girl. Probably. It's why they let women into clubs for free. Also, I would not go with the handle Senior Big Chest. Yeah, that's a really good piece of advice. I would not use that one. No, I would not.

I like it. Go with Tilda Swinton. Yes. You're getting that Tilda in there still. So you still have the Tilda, but all right. Something's just a little bit off today. Quit your job or date vampires. That's the advice here today.

The Spitballers Draft. All right. What are we drafting today, Al? We are drafting items that you want in your newly acquired mansion. Yes. Yes. This is a real blank check scenario. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, very much. So you've got your mansion. Sometimes I wonder about athletes, right? Mm-hmm. Like Shaquille O'Neal. He has infinite money. I've heard his mansion is insane, extravagant. Have you seen his bed?

Doesn't he have the 10 he has a 10 foot circular he has a custom one-of-a-kind bed because i mean he's like the largest person you've ever seen in your life i don't blame him he did he surely does not fit on a regular size bed but his bed is gigantic now mike you have the first pick i do let me just bring something to light though one of the things i'm always curious about for these mansion situations is, are you going to enjoy doing something potentially by yourself? You're not, you know. Okay. Let's just, you can draft it if you want to.

All right. But like a golf course, right? Right. Would you rather have a full golf course all by yourself? Or would you rather be able to go to a golf course? I would invite friends to my golf course. Yeah, that's true. That's in the cards.

That's true. Here's the thing. I'm calling up Senior Big Chest. We're having a good time. If I'm going by myself, golfing in general, one, that's a nightmare because I'm bad at golf, and so it's bad in general. But my biggest fear while golfing is people coming up behind me because I'm bad at golf, and so it's bad in general. But my biggest fear while golfing is people coming up behind me because I'm so slow. Yes, rate of play.

I'm holding people up and yada, yada. So if I am by myself, I would love to have my own personal golf course, but then I can also invite friends over. So, yeah, I think I'm cool with that. All right, Mike, you're up first. I will take the one thing I've wanted since I was a child, and I still want it to this very day. I will have a video arcade.

I will have an entire floor of my mansion dedicated to the video arcade. Old school, 1980s style. How many machines? Unlimited. 50? 50 machines? 50. Everything?

If it doesn't have 50 and I don't have like 20 pinball machines then what am i doing with my life so you are a not a social person necessarily because you said you have on the last episode you said you have people over to your house correct so if you have an arcade are you are you sharing this experience with us i'm happy to share the like what's great about the arcade is he's gonna it's gonna be quarters when we come over yeah you don't play for free he's gonna monetize there'll be there'll be the machine you put your dollar in you get your quarters out but what's great about an arcade is it's actually it is a social place like you i used to meet friends there, but it's also limited.

When we're playing the game, I'm not- Yeah, you're by yourself, sort of. I'm playing against somebody else. We're not really talking, but I'm also competing. The arcade fulfills so many of my deepest needs. I get that. That's what I want. Okay.

I get that. I get that a lot, but I was afraid because you said you wanted this since you were a kid. Right. There's plenty of things kids just don't care about the grown-ups that we that are i'm sure on our list now right but the one thing i wanted i was worried you were gonna take a milkshake machine milkshake room where are the floors made of made of ice cream no um although i did side note here i did always dream about a room that was a mattress.

Like you open the door. So it's like a bounce house. The whole floor, like just the carpet. We have the technology. Well, I don't know that you do because I mean. That's a big mattress. That's like a 15 by 15 mattress. I think we could do it.

I think Bill Gates, Elon Musk, they could get together. They could do it. They could make a mattress slightly bigger. I think it would just be awesome. gates elon musk they could get together they could do it they could make a mattress slightly bigger i think it would just be awesome it would be hard to put like dressers and stuff in there but i mean just lay down anywhere you want to be awesome that's not my pick maybe fourth round we'll see um but no i want a movie theater in my house because how often do we spend watching tv i'm you know i want to watch netflix on a movie theater size screen i'm going to watch Netflix on a movie theater size screen.

I'm going to play video games on a movie theater size screen. We're talking full size. Not like a nice little cinema room. People have cinema rooms. Right. They're cute. It's cute. They've got their little projector.

No. I want a movie theater room in my house hooked up with all of the pluses. I got Apple Plus at disney plus and netflix plus which i'm sure comes out next month boy if you save and work hard you can get those jay yeah well but not on not in a movie not a movie theater right so that's that's my number one thing i want a giant uh experience for all because i i spent about a quarter of my life watching screens it's fair all right i have to ask al because my my number one pick i mean it's not going in the physical building it's going in the yard is that are we i think that's allowed yeah we're good

all right then i'm i actually am building a full-on like of course i try i like try to set it up so that I could take it. I'm actually going to go with a go-kart track. Oh, okay. I think like a full race. That's your number one pick. I don't know, man. Well, I don't think about these things.

To me, when I started thinking about it, I'm like, if I could walk outside my house, and I'm talking like- Oh, no, it's awesome. Like a huge race car track, like the cross between... I don't want to go in circles, but I want like a go-kart track. You got any jumps on that track? Sure. Oh, man, that'd be awesome.

We could have some jumps. You're going to need some backup go-karts, though. Yeah, that's probably true. You're going to need a waiver. I feel like it would just be really, really fun to be able to go out back and race cars. That would be... That's what I'm thinking right now. That would be a lot of fun.

All right. All right. So I have to pick another. You do. Okay. Well. I was out at a go-kart. I only had one thing I wanted.

I got it. Go-karts. Go-karts. All right. Go-karts. No. I'm good. I'm good.

All right. Ever since Adam West, this was the dream. Oh, yeah. I want... Yes, that's batman i want the secret hideout in the basement that i go down the pole yes to get or whatever the case may be the elevator the fire the fire pole is on my list i i want the secret room that i go down the pole and i have got a complete secret hideout nobody can get to me nobody. Nobody can catch me. Now, hold on.

I've got technologies down there. What is the actual... So you get the Batcave. I've got all the pluses down there. I got Apple Plus and Google Plus. Dude, me too. That's so good. But what is the actual pick here?

So is it a Batcave? The pick is a superhero hideout. Okay. Okay. All right. Here's my problem with your fire pole or, you know, like when you said like a secret room, that's on my list, but I want something. I want like the pull the book, you know, on the library.

Yeah. I mean, I don't care how you get to the hideout. It needs to be a unique, fun way. To me, I was remembering the Adam West Batman and literally him going down the fire pole and somehow his back. Oh, it changes you on the way Batman and literally him going down the fire pole. And somehow his back. Oh, it changes you on the way down. He changed into his uniforms on. Yeah, because he's Batman.

How annoying would that be if you forgot something down in the Batcave and you're like, I need to go down there and grab my keys. Oh, I put the uniform back on. I'm Batman now. Clearly, you did not watch enough Batman. What, does he climb back up the pole and it takes it off? No, because he had a rocket power thing that would bring him up and change him back into bruce wayne well for real yes you need to catch up on your old school batman i am not sorry up on adam west being eight years old was a long time ago but i'm gonna go with secret hideout superhero hideout okay all right so look that's really

really cool the arcade room is pretty neat the go-kart thing is cool some say the best i'm going practical just just like i already did with the movie theater room like i because if i'm if i'm on realtor.com i'm looking at these super mansions and i think what do i really care about and what am i what is my mansion gonna have the best of, I want a super oversized chef's kitchen. I want, like, the kitchen's the heart of the home. And I want, you know, just a massive, you know, those refrigerators that are like, what refrigerator? Right. Until you open your cabinets, it's a 15-foot refrigerator.

The pantry that's like, has one acre inside the pantry. The island bar area where I can- Put all your Postmates. Put all my Postmates up there. In your giant kitchen that will never be used. How dare you? We have a giant family over on Thanksgiving, Mike, and probably Christmas when we have this mansion. So at least twice a year, we're rocking that.

I mean, giant parties in the kitchen. I'm going oversized chef's kitchen in my mansion, which means, just putting this out there, you guys don't have an oversized chef kitchen in your house. I drafted that. That's mine. I got a pretty nice one, though. I've got a really tiny table for all of my postmates.

Everything is okay. All right. I got two picks here. I've got one that I want for sure. And so I'll just start with that while I try and stall for time and figure out my second one. But I will take the indoor swimming pool. Yeah. It's on my list.

Have you ever gotten to use one? Only at hotels where they're so chlorinated I would not want to go in it. I was wondering about the indoor swimming pool whether I like being outside when I swim. I feel like that's a feature. It is, but you can't use that in the winter. Right. Even though it's definitely hot in Arizona, there's still only a couple months out of the year when you can use the pool. But if you can use the pool all the time.

Well, what you do is you have a complete glass roof. In that room, you're in a dome that's completely glass, so the sun's coming through, but none of the... It's temperature controlled. Really, you want an indoor-outdoor pool. Oh, you want the dome with the retractable

roof? No, it doesn't have to be retractable. It's just so that you can swim outside. That's kind of cool. Very cool. That would be the crucial way to go about it. It's just so that you can swim outside. Oh, that's kind of cool. Very cool. That would be the crucial way to go about it. That's not what you drafted. You drafted indoor. I just said it.

I didn't ask for an amendment. He has the coolest pool possible. That's true. Oh, crap. So now you've stalled a little bit. I didn't stall long enough. Well, the problem with stalling on your own pick is that you're talking. You know, that's the issue.

I always think I can do that, but then at the end when I go, okay, now it's time for my next pick, I realize I didn't put any thought in. I've got two that I want back to me. I'm ready to go. I've got a few that I wanted, and I'm going to go with this, and this is why I really needed Andy to clarify your pick.

So you went with a superhero hideout. Yeah. I want hidden passages. Is that different enough? Yes, it is. Absolutely. I think it's cool. Yeah, it's very cool.

While you get to go down your pole, I have bookcases everywhere where I get to pull. I slide one book out. You're sneaking around. No one will ever find me in my own house. Here's a little peek into our past when we go to these conferences sometimes occasionally we are talking to people that we don't necessarily want to talk to and mike will it's becoming more common mike will find

perfected it that's why he will find a way to what we call smoke bomb. He will throw a pretend smoke. Sometimes actually throw a pretend smoke bomb down. Sometimes I do. And sometimes announce smoke bomb. Sometimes you literally say smoke bomb. And then he disappears from the conversation, leaving it to Jason or I to finish. So I imagine these secret passageways. You look up and I'm not there anymore.

You're just going to be gone. You're in the kitchen talking to your wife. She's still talking. She turns around. Smoke bomb. Yeah, you can have that secret passages. I like that. So you have a video arcade, indoor swimming pool,

and some hidden passages. Yes. Jason has a movie theater, an oversized chef's kitchen, and then he's got another pick, and it's right here, and I've given him some real good lead time. Jason must love cooking. Look, I love eating, okay? And the fridge needs to be large enough for all my leftovers.

Okay, so there's a couple things that I want here. But the reality is I think there's one clear one where if I were to have my super mansion and I don't have this, then I'm going to have to put one in. I want to move in with it ready. That's the full court basketball. Yep. LED lights. Yep.

I've also got the markings on the court for pickleball. You better know that. Oh, yeah. Hold on, hold on. Lots of LED lights. So do you want a basketball court or do you want a multi-use court? I want a, well, I mean, I could call it a multi-use court, but that's just stupid. Indoor court.

Yeah. Indoor basketball court? Yeah, sure. An indoor basketball court. All right. An indoor basketball court would be the best thing in the world. It would be pretty awesome. Pretty awesome.

It would be cool. It was, I played some basketball out in the backyard yesterday and the day before, because it was the two days of the year that it was beautiful. I was like, man, if I could do this every day, that'd be pretty cool. That'd be so fit. It's like an indoor swimming pool. If you want to know whose house the three of us would be at

every single day, even though we all have awesome mansions, my house, playing pickleball, and you know it. Yes, I would be playing pickleball, but not basketball. I am going to pick my final two picks. I have a go-kart track and a superhero hideout basketball. I am going to pick my final two picks. I have a go-kart track and a superhero hideout. But I'm going to pick two things that have nothing to do with one another, but two things that are required for my home.

The first one is going to be the most extravagant, the most beautiful library. That's fair. And part of that is not because I want to read. You want to look like you read. I gotcha. I just want the library room, the study room that I can retreat to,

to read, to think, to sip a drink, to invite some colleagues in to have a conversation. The romanticized, famous author's library. The real tall ceiling with the spiral staircase. It's probably got two stories. It's got a spiral staircase. But you can't get to the top bookshelves. There's not just like... There's no ladder long enough to

possibly reach the books. And everybody that comes in wonders, how does he get those? How does he get the books from that spot? That just seems like something you could never have in a normal house so that has a wasted space yeah a library is a wasted space but if you got a mansion then it's you got to find a way to take up space and then it wouldn't be on brand without completing my mansion with the most perfect compliment to a uh just sophisticated library and that is a full-on ice cream shop oh okay i need a full-on ice cream shop fill in your favorite baskin robbins cold stone creamery doesn't matter

but it's fully staffed all the time and let me tell you something they're not as bored as you think they are because i'm coming in that shop a lot oh i don't think they're bored at all they have they have books they get all books. So I need an ice cream shop in my home. Okay. So I've got a go-kart track, a superhero hideout, a huge library, and a gourmet ice cream shop. Alright, so this is

tough here because I've got three things that I'm really debating between. I'm going to throw one away. Are any of them a gym? A home gym is on my list. A home gym. If you had a real gym at home, it would be awesome. Yeah.

I mean, I'm not saying it wouldn't. Just another area for you to not use. Right. Along with your kitchen. I feel like there's enough homes. Half of people out there have a home gym. Not like you would have in a mansion, though. Sure. So I check on my home gym. Not like you would have in a mansion, though. Sure.

I mean, it's not like... So I check on my home gym, and they got their 1987... Nordic track? Yes. You want to sweat to the oldies? I thought about going with a replica oval office. I think that would be awesome. Oh, my God.

Just a straight up, like, in my... How do you not take that? That's where I do work. You got the flags. You got the round doors that open. Oh my gosh. Man, I think I'm going to have to go that route. That's a really good pick.

That's a good pick. You're going, your home office is a recreated oval office. Yes. That's really good. Is he going to be able to find his way out of the room. I want cameras set up in there. Are you stuck in there? Where's the corner?

The carpet is the same, a complete, perfect replica. Are you wearing a suit into that office? Well, it's like the Batcave. As soon as I walk through the door, the suit comes on. That's a spectacular pic. Unexpected, very good. I love it. All right.

You've had a lot of time now no no i i know i haven't narrowed down and it's like yeah whatever i'll just take the one that i would actually really want my house if you follow uh if you follow me on twitter which you should really follow oh this is a shoe room that that would be awesome but that's not what i want you should really follow us but i will take an aviary Oh really Yes I would Like while you want to go in your library

You want to go in the Oval Office I want to go In a giant aviary Full of all kinds You love listening to birds All kinds of birds And just sitting there Wow

Getting pooped on Well I may have an umbrella Jason They have ways to not get pooped on We thought about putting one in, not a grand one. Like a small one in our house. Outside our house, not in our house. Right.

But that would be pretty cool. My aunt had this really cool, and she's got this condo, and right in the middle is an indoor aviary. Oh, that's spectacular. It's outdoor. Right. The middle of it is open. Oh, that's cool.

That's pretty neat. All right. I have a question for Al Borland here. Mike has a video arcade, an indoor swimming pool, hidden passages, and an aviary. Jason has a movie theater, an oversized chef's kitchen, indoor basketball court, and a replica oval office. I've got a go-kart track, a superhero hideout, a huge library, and a gourmet ice cream shop. Where do you want to live?

Good question. I've got to have that pickleball court in my house. Yes. All right. Yeah. Just remember, you're going in to talk to the president when you want to use it. And you must refer to me as Mr. President. When you're in that room?

Absolutely. Or all the time? Well, all the time. That's fine. It's funny you talked about the golf course, but on my short list, I have the bowling alley. Yep. Which is, I feel like that's kind of like a go-to. Yeah.

But would be pretty awesome. But I didn't want an actual golf course, but the golf simulator. If you had an actual room where you go and you hit it against the screen, that would be pretty sweet. I would rather have like the top golf wing. You know what I mean? Like you just go out and there's an open room, no screen. Right. But it's just a driving range that's like you're up a couple stories.

We could both have Topgolfs in our adjacent mansions, and we hit the balls back and forth. Right at each other. I love it. I had a paintball course. Oh, that's nice. I thought it would be cool to go outside and shoot each other. So I wrote down acreage, because you know what I mean? So you want a ranch.

Well, and my next one was a mountain view. Wait, is the acres in the mansion or outside of the mansion? wrote down acreage because i just you know what i mean like i don't want a ranch well i i want well and my next one was a mountain view is the acres in the mansion or outside of the mansion oh i would love the first one or cornfield what is your square footage uh it's one and a quarter acres no the square footage of the house one and a quarter acres i measure my square feet in acreage um but like also the mountain view. I want this mountain is where my mansion is and it's my mountain. It's like

Steven from Braveheart. It's my island. That'd be pretty cool. My final one was a hedge maze. I actually had that on my list. Did you? I did. An actual hedge maze. Because what else are you going to have a chance to get one of those? Yeah, I don't know. It would be pretty awesome. When would you use it?

It's for guests. When would you use it? It's for guests. Yes, it's 100% for guests. Check out my, let's go through the gardens. Who wouldn't want to give a tour of the gardens? There's something I want to show you. Come with me.

And then meet me in the back. He gets halfway through to where his hidden passages. Yes. And boom, he's gone. Yeah. He's got cameras to watch how long does it take them to get out of the center of this maze what's this fireman's pole doing here in the middle of this i've got six people trapped back there if you get out then you live then then you

live all right what did we learn today i i don't know what I learned today. I really don't. I learned, I think, what a Spanish accent. Yeah. Keystroke? Keystroke is. How to use that. I learned that if you want to date and you have bad hours, quit your job. That's true.

I learned that maybe a bar of soap actually can get dirty. Oh, hair. Disgusting. Yes. Unspeakable body hair. Joke's on you, Jason. You have Al Borland living at your house now. Congrats. Well, then those are feathers on my bar of soap. Thank you for tuning in.

We'll see you next week. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out SpitballersPod.com. Oh, that was a lot of fun. Hilarious. What a show. Thank you for listening in.

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