Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Bad Butt Days & Historical Figures Battle Royale - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

Spit Hit for May 1st, 2025:On this episode we learn about Jason’s fancy island escapades, how long we can survive in a zombie apocalypse and a surprise cuisine confession. We close the show out back in the coliseum with a historical figures battle royale. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Oh. Oh. All right. You went with the wired jaw scat. I just said to myself, self, what have I scatted with my teeth clenched?

What would happen? Because we've had 270 shows without the teeth clenched the best part And I don't know if this makes it on the video or not is Seeing Andy have the thought yeah start giggling to himself That was the best. I was gonna try to keep a perfect smile during it like a most of it. Oh, L. Equus scat But it wouldn't it would have been way worse welcome into the spitballers would you rather that's a great question in a special battle royale draft for you today happy to have you with us thank

you for sharing this podcast with your friends and family and anybody you know that enjoys laughter and and and joy and a distraction from anything heavy and sad. And loves education and learning. Yeah, from wise. Really important life skills and historical facts. From men with several honorary doctorates probably. Yeah, many degrees like the deodorant. Right, right, right. Yeah.

Yeah. So we're going to kick it off. You can follow the show at spitballerspot over on Twitter slash X and you can leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. We'd appreciate it. Follow the show wherever you're listening. Here we go. Here we go. Would you rather. Would you rather. Would you rather. Oh no. Have every sneeze stop right before it triggers.

Oh, that's upsetting. Or every time you sneeze, you sneeze out a giant snot ball. What? Yeah. What? Yeah. What? Wait, hold on. You're saying you've never done that? I'm not saying I've never done that. I'm saying...

How is this a question? I mean, if every... Okay. How is this a question? I am easily... I am taking the snot ball. What? Oh yeah. Because a non-satisfied sneeze... Is...

Is no relief at all. It's awful. I agree that I would prefer to just have a normal sneeze. If normal sneeze was a third option, we would all choose that. But you're telling me that the, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, It didn't happen. You never. That is worse than... Yeah. Yes. Way worse. You never sneeze again.

You'll never sneeze. That's good news. Sneezing helps. No, it's not because you will still get the feeling that you have to sneeze and you will never... The sneeze will never get out. You will like, spell. You want to know what I won't have?

A snot ball? A bunch of snot. I mean, you're choosing. But I'll cover... You can cover your face. I'll bring a hanky with me. I don't need a hanky. I know, but you'll need therapy.

I'll need counseling. You'll be a weird guy, because you'll be going, oh, oh, oh. See, if this was, if the question, anyways, if the question was you have the unfulfilled sneeze every hour on the hour or every time that you do normally regularly sneeze, you have a big snot bubble, then maybe there's a debate. But I don't sneeze that much. I don't want a snot bubble.

Now you've been sick before though where you get like a lot of sneezes. Yes. And that would be tough. That would... which one would be tougher? And you'd want the snot out of you at that point. But which one would be tougher? If you're sick and you got the sneezes. Yeah, I feel like that's kind of how getting sick is. You have a bunch of snot rags everywhere. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I'm already covered in phlegm.

Plus... You're covered in phlegm? When I'm sick, yeah. When you're sick,'m already covered in phlegm. Plus, it's... You're covered in phlegm? When I'm sick, yeah. To be fair. When you're sick, you cover yourself in phlegm? Yeah, I'm fully on Mike's side because I also think I would... Yeah, that's right, Jay. I think I would have a new world of kind of designer hankies that I would start buying,

and they'd be a collection of hankies, and I'd bring them with me everywhere. Yeah. I feel like I'm in the middle of a crazy sandwich. Gentlemen used to carry a hankie everywhere we went. That is true. Yeah, I still know of a person or two that does that. What? Well, he knows people over the age of 75.

Right? Oh, okay. Of course, because people don't do that. Do you want to know why people don't do that? Wait, who carries a hankie? I don't want to say. Yeah, you don't need to put him on blast. Wait, hold on.

Hold on. It's not me. I mean- I'm saying, if said person carries a hanky with them, then talking about them should be no problem. They will turn 80 years old this week. Okay. Exactly.

And do you want to know why people stopped carrying a hanky with them? Why is that? Because they realized that when you snort into a hankerchief, it's disgusting. It is real. You should do it around people. Yeah, but you can fold it. And then put it back in your pocket. Yeah.

No. You've never taken a Kleenex, wiped the nose a bit, and then put it back in your pocket? Not once that I can ever remember. That is- Yeah, I've done that. That's a bold-faced lie. I can't remember ever saying, here's my... Like, post-snot hanky. So you just waste trees?

Sure. I'll burn down the forest. I'm not putting my snot in my pocket. You two are psychopaths. And then you got to launder the snot rag. Oh, gross. Might as well put my poopy underwear in the washing machine. Snot is really gross.

When my wife and I got married and we decided to have kids, we had kind of like made a pact that she's like, you have to handle everything with snot. Cause snot grosses her out. And then I'm like, well, then you have to handle everything with vomit. Cause I like, I'm like a sympathetic vomit.

That's a good deal for you. Yeah, so we made that pact. I still would agree. I'm anti-snob'm like a sympathetic vomit. That's a good deal for you. Yeah. So we made that path. I still would agree. I'm anti-snap, but I still agree. That's a pretty good deal for you. How about, so if every time you sneeze. You vomit? You vomit out your nose or you snort.

Oh, I'm sure Mike would love that one. He's all into these. The biggest handkerchief you've ever seen. I am just the. Just carry around a bucket with me, man. The getting into like your body, starting the act of a sneeze, and then it shutting down is, to me, is just so horrific. My whole face starts tingling.

And it's not a... Give me your sneezes per week average. Like, if you could go on the watch, you know, the Apple Watch tracks stuff, if it was telling you how many times you sneeze, which by the way, we should be able to do that. Track sneezes? I don't know that it would be able to track sneezes.

Yeah, your whole body convulses with a sneeze. Should be able to pick that up. It's like, I'm sorry, were you sneezing? Just ask you every time? So Papa Josh is with us. Well, he's old and disgusting. Papa Josh said four per day is the number that comes to mind. That seems high. I would say once a week. Yeah, he's old and disgusting. Papa Josh said four per day is the number that comes to month.

That seems high. I would say once a week. Yeah, it feels important. I don't sneeze more than once a week unless I'm sick. I'd say maybe an average of once a day. Mike's a once a day kind of guy. Al? If you average it out, I'd say about once a day.

I don't do it every day, but when I do, it might be two or three sneezes in a row. That is fair. Raise your hand if you're on allergy medication though. I bet you that makes a difference. So do, Jason, do you get the multiples? I'm a double. You're a two time? I'm a double sneeze or two sneezes every time.

You're a three time? I'm a three time. My son has a problem. Okay. None related to this. Soup's related to this. My son has a problem. Okay. Non-related to this. Supes related to this. My son has a problem, an issue that is... That you want to talk about. Now we're here for you. Yeah, I mean, I think he's okay with me putting this issue on blast because he knows about it. This is, you can't hide it. He is insanely upsettingly allergic to vehicles. To being inside of every time he... Now wait a minute. When he when I take him to school in the morning, he gets in the car. Sometimes we

make it to school, no problem, great. But if sneeze one happens, it is 20 more sneezes and he... Okay, that's impressive. And it just goes for so long where the whole car, the rest of everyone in the car is like, this is, it's not his fault. He can't control this. Okay, it's getting a little, okay. Stop it.

Don't you dare sneeze again, you fool. I gotta follow. Does this happen when he's in other people's vehicles? I I really don't know are you guys in the Sun? I don't usually well. I mean we drive we don't drive in the night I'm saying well the Sun is a sneeze causer, okay I have yeah, I've got this corner at our church where every time we go around the corner every time Right into the Sun my son sneezes on the spot. Maybe that's what it is We have this corner at our church where every time we go around the corner, every time, right into the sun, my son sneezes on the spot.

Maybe that's what it is. Maybe he needs to drive with an umbrella. Just in the car. Or give him an eye mask. You ever give him sunglasses? I have. I got him really nice sunglasses once on a vacation. And it didn't stop the sneeze?

He lost them at the first... We went straight to lunch, left them there. Oh, wait, hold on. You bought a child nice sunglasses? We were on. What were you doing? We were on. Yeah, it's pretty dumb. OK, we were on vacation on a cruise.

This is like we're on an island, a fancy island. A fancy island. We're on a fancy island. That was the part. OK, well, that was the part. Okay. Well, we're more and more relatable. Jason, my point is there was no other options of like, you know, buying some circle K cheap sunglasses here and we were at this place. He needed sunglasses. He tried them on. They look nice. They just happened to be a little bit expensive more than I would get my you know, we gyms

Yeah, I think so. Oh, no Yeah, how did you know I don't think cuz now like cuz cuz you are a mark Because like that's the the new fancy like oh It was when we were a kid. was Oakley's now like older people especially like the Maui Jims so the first time I've ever really seen him wear sunglasses and they looked so good on him we go to lunch immediately gone immediately go to lunch that's the first place we went we left that lunch and he's not used to having sunglasses he left him there yeah done so I have not bought

him another pair of sunglasses oh and based and based on my Googling, those are not cheap. Well, real quick question, by the way. If you have one episode of Sneezing. I was trapped on a fancy island. Justin, we've all been there. You get it? Or as I call it, Saturday. Oh, my gosh.

Oh, by the way, if you were to, if I had three sneezes consecutively, that doesn't count as one sneeze, that's three sneezes. Correct. I think that for your average, that would be three. So that means if I sneeze, if I have an episode once a week, but it's three sneezes, then I average three a week.

Yes. Just all in one chunk. I have had, have you had sneezing attacks? My son has. Because I've had literally like 10 minutes straight where I sneeze for 10 straight minutes. And you feel like you have been put through the laundry machine.

At the end of it, you're just like, you're tearing up. It's like a car crash. You're crying. What was that all about? Yes, yes, he was one of those. All right, so Mike and I were on the side of satisfying sneezes with snot rags. If we tweet this question out, this has to be 90-10.

No way, man. I don't know where it will go. Well, let's ask the deucers. I don't know where it'll go. The deucers are every man. Would you rather be able to sneeze ever again, or do you want the snot ball? Or do you want the no snot ball?

That's tough. I think you got to take the snot ball? That's tough. I think you gotta take the snot ball. Yeah, okay. Oh my goodness. 90, 10. All right, go ahead. I'm taking the snot.

Yeah. So I didn't say which side. I didn't say which side was 90, 10. All right, here's our next would you rather question. Would you rather have to respond with meh anytime somebody asks your opinion or have to shout your answer at the top of your lungs so Jason what did you think of that movie you saw last night hmm man it was okay I think you get to stop with man I

think you have to stop with meh so your wife comes out, how do I look? Meh, meh, meh. Or, Jason, what'd you think of that movie last night? It was so good! Oh. Yeah, it's meh. That's a lot. That movie is meh. Your outfit is meh.

People will stop asking you questions, right, when they know that that's the only answer you give to stuff. Also, I mean, obviously you have more tact and stuff, but sometimes you're going gonna have a negative answer. So you, like, how do I look right now? You look bad! Right, cause you have to yell it. Like, it's not a just only positive answer

you have to shout. Right, that's a good point. I mean, anyway, you've looked better! Sir, do you think you should have been speeding? No, I definitely should not have been speeding! Anyone yelling is just... That's too much. The only place to yell is at a sporting event. YouTube.

Or yes, or if you're just recording a YouTube video, then you have to yell everything you say. How do people not... watch YouTubers yell and just see right through it? I don't understand how people can watch these and be like Totally sucked in they're so excited about this average ordinary not that special thing. They're doing well Jay They added they added a new block in Minecraft. Oh my god. It's a great thing That's ever happens like and it works. That's the most upsetting part is it works. These kids are like sucked right in. Yeah. Yeah

I think we're all with the man. Yeah, okay Would you rather would you rather have a spoil the plot? Oh to every movie? What a monster or insult every person's musical tastes. These are both terrible. Oh insult every person's musical tastes. These are both terrible. Oh man, I feel like I can insult people's musical tastes both with tact and without tact depending on the person. You know, if I'm friends with them, I don't mind insulting their taste.

I don't mind insulting my friends. That, is that really that big a deal? Now we can just have a debate and I can tell you why you're stupid. Insulting versus disagreeing are different. I feel like most of the time people, I don't think many people agree with my musical taste, but they're not telling me why mine are bad.

They're just like, oh no, I like this type of music. Do you like country? I'm fine with it. You are such a stupid idiot. See? Now that I've heard. I was fine with it. That one a stupid idiot see now that I've heard I was fine that one I've heard with country yeah country you expect it felt fine and the alternative was what if I'm spoil movies how can you do that

how can you mean to me if someone insults my taste insults I don't think I care maybe I do. Maybe it will hurt a little bit more than I think when I am personally insulted for my opinions. Well who do you respect? Who do I respect? Because you wouldn't care unless it was someone you respected telling you that.

I respect my father. So if your father said. Wouldn't give two farts. Yeah, when someone, you probably don't respect two farts. Yeah. When someone... You probably don't respect his music taste. No, no I don't. So I respect Mike's music taste. You can get defensive or you can just be like, this is a... Different strokes. Yeah, you're dumb. You're dumb for saying that I'm dumb. Yeah, I think I have to take the music one. I'm not spoiling plots for people. I'm not an... That person should go to jail. Yeah, and there's no way to

come back from it. Let's say you're the receiver of either one of these Instead of what you're doing it instead of what you're going to do wrong to someone else Which one would you rather have done wrong to me insult my musical taste? That's fine I just think when you insult my tastes all I learned is that your tastes are bad Wait, let me tell you a story about having something spoiled We had a we had a text chain, Brie, myself, my wife Brie, and myself, and two friends. And we all watched Survivor together.

And the text chain was like, you know, another. So the people you watched with, they know how to text? They have handkerchiefs. Yeah. So we watched the show together. And the best part was that they sent a message to us and the episode had gone that week. And the episode, I mean, if you wanna know Survivor, it's very straightforward.

It's like the show happens for an hour and one person gets voted off. And guess what? If you know who that person's gonna be, it kinda ruins the previous hour, right? Yeah, of course. And they said, hey, have you watched this week? And I said, no, we haven't.

And the very next thing they said was, can you believe when blank is gone? Because they misread it. And then what I did is I had my phone out and I watched the text delete itself. But I had already read it. Oh no, at least they tried. They did, they tried so hard And they felt so bad about it.

They felt bad about it. But it was so funny because I had the text open, and I'm reading it, and I'm going, oh, no. And then it just disappears. But now, you remember that forever. Yes. Oh, I get in such a hard time. And that person is labeled that.

And there was a, we're also in the football world. And I don't know if you guys remember this, I do. Avengers Endgame comes out. Was that spoiled? And there was a pretty popular running back at that time. Oh, that's right. His name was LaShawn McCoy. He tweeted the spoiler for the movie and it had just come out.

Wow. And it was. Is he in prison? He tweeted the spoiler for the movie and it had just come out. And it was... Is he in prison? I mean, it changed my opinion of him forever. It's so selfish. Especially, that movie was a decade in the making for us comic book nerds. This was now going to be the pinnacle of cinema that you've been dreaming about

this forever. Real talk. And to have it spoiled. Just for no reason. Would you rather have had him steal your wallet from your pocket and leave? Yes. Than tell you the spoiler of that movie?

100%. So I mean, this is like, cause you can't unhear something, there's no fixing it, right? Yeah, it's done. You can get a new credit card. There's no fixing it. Yeah, it's done. You can get a new credit card. Once you have it's like, and to be the person who just puts that out there to ruin people's day?

Yeah. And like, it's such a weird thing. I mean, accidents happen. Like, your friend, I get him. Yeah, that was an accident. I would remember that forever. I'd be like, hey, remember when you spoiled the show for me? Oh, yeah. I remember. I mean remember that forever. I'll be like hey man when you spoil all show for me Yeah, I remember it's it's it's a red letter on you way back in the day

There was one time a time. Yes, give them the S for red. Yeah Once upon a time the Harry Potter books were not all out yet And people waited in line after years when a new book came out. Oh my goodness. And one of these books, I think, I'm okay to spoil Harry Potter at this point, right? I don't know. There might be kids out there. I don't know. Some big character dies. A big character dies in one of the books, okay? And it was a monstrous moment. Yeah. And there was a minivan, I remember watching this video, a minivan, I don't even know how they, they must have been like first in line

and looked to the end, I don't know how they knew it. So they ruined it for themselves. The line of people to get the book that they have been waiting on for years was stretching outside the Barnes and Noble, and this minivan rolls down the window, peels out like a hot rod, and was like, this guy dies!

Straight to jail. Straight to jail. Straight to jail. Straight to jail. Straight to jail. Right to jail. Forever, life in prison. You're such a horrible person.

What a turd. I think it's one of the worst things you could do. What a turd! What are you even getting from that? You get nothing. You get talked about on this show. You drive on that? No, we just get in pubs.

That van is legendary. Nah. Do we have time for another one, or should we move on? Let's move on. All right. That's a great question. Hugo from the website writes in. I'm going to have to stop you right there. Okay.

For Hugo? I have an update on the poll. Oh, wait, did you post the poll? Oh, of course I posted this poll. Because it's ridiculous how anyone would choose a giant snot ball. I want you to read the wording. Okay. Of course I posted this poll, because it's ridiculous that anyone would choose a giant snot ball. I want you to read the wording. Okay.

I will read the wording which was copy pasted from our doc. Okay, that's fine. Would you rather have every sneeze stop right before it triggers or every time you sneeze, you sneeze a giant snot ball? Okay. My choices were stopped sneeze or giant snot ball. Okay. Now I did put the giant in there,

but it was in the question. Fair. I did try to weigh a little bit more towards me. It is, it is disgusting. Ah! It is currently, with 500 votes in, 48 to 52% choosing the snot ball. The lunatic, disgusting people are in the lead.

Just stop your- Oh, I'm gonna be selling some handkerchiefs to a lot of people. Oh my goodness, what monsters are out there choosing that? You got a snot phobia? 220 votes in, it was 55, 45 in favor of the stop sneeze and I was just waiting to see it grow and grow and then it flipped and the monsters are winning Yeah, I was gonna say you're welcome to the new world All right. That's a great question. Hugo writes in says how long do you think you could survive a zombie apocalypse?

now I I will say this I the zombie apocalypse concept, very popular, lots of shows, lots of movies, lots of thoughts about yourself, right? We all think we won't be the one eating first, we all believe in different things. Now Mike opened my eyes when he was over a few weeks ago. Okay, gave you some of my strats. You gave me some of your strats, so now I feel like I'm more knowledgeable. I mean, I feel like the first half of this question is runners or walkers.

I was gonna stop us and make sure we were on walkers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Runners I'd never consider for these kind of questions. Okay, good. Because they're outlier movies. Yeah, they're outlier zombies. And you're all done. And the answer is no one.

Right. No one survives. How long did you last? One minute. One minute. That's it. Yeah. Really fast. Because all they have to do is get any bite anywhere and then you're screwed. All they have to do is make me run for 25 seconds. Yeah. Okay. So walkers. Okay. And then I just lay down. Do they, just sidebar, sidebar. Do runners, zombies have cardiovascular health or not health? They're infinite stamina. Yeah. So it doesn't matter even if they're like a really big zombie with bad cardio in real life. Their top speed may be slower, but these things

could still sprint infinitely. I've never seen a zombie that's like a big chunker. No. It's not your state you've never seen a bad zombie. If you've watched zombie shows, you see all shapes and sizes. I'm just thinking like, again this is this is you're not gonna like this but in a world where zombies take over right some of the most vulnerable would be potentially the handicapped sure so you would have some people in wheelchairs yeah I personally have never seen a wheelchair zombie

go through the transformation and still be stuck in the wheelchair. Yeah, and I think it's a little. Because they would crawl. Oh, because they'd get out and crawl. It would get out and crawl. And I've seen crawling. There's no way they've got the intellect

to use the wheels. No, because they're zombies. Oh my gosh, see Mike. They're brainless. I'm gonna tell you this. Mike has his, I love zombies. Mike knows everything about zombies in the world, including secret tips to defeat them.

I believe in Zombieland, they did discuss. I mean, they talked about cardio. I thought someone was like the evil, like you trip your friends type of stuff. But yeah, I love zombie movies. And what Andy's talking about is, this was brought to light to me from the World Wars II book.

Okay. Max Brooks. They never thought of this until you mentioned it. They talked about, you go where it's cold. Because, and like real cold. Really? Because, at least during winter, the zombies will freeze. And they will be physically, they will thaw

and then come out there. But there will be a time period where you are actually safe from zombies. And you get to utilize that time period to set up whatever fence structure and protection. Wouldn't you go eliminate all the frozen zombies too? You would probably try to find some of them. At least the close ones.

I wouldn't be confident enough that they're frozen. I guess that'd be a little scary. And you might wanna just use all your energy for building fortresses. I never thought about going up north. That's, I mean, you have to survive in the north though. That would've been my first thought. Yeah, it's not easy.

I didn't think about specifically the cold. Yeah, you just die from the cold. Cabin in the woods. Which is better. Less populated. I would immediately drive from the cold cabin in the woods better less populated I would immediately drive north to to some cabin in the woods that You know you got at least be up a mountain yeah, and hmm up there can decline I've got a little bit of an arsenal, so I feel like I could at least talk about your elephant gun Yes, I'm talking about my my it's a bear gun, thank you very much.

It's an elephant gun. Well, it could take down an elephant, but I'm pretty confident it could take care of a zombie too. Let me guess, you were stuck on a fancy island and you had to get something. Just in case he comes across like a 7,000 pound bear. Yeah. Right? I'm good.

You gotta be ready. Yeah. I just, my shoulder will be done. But me and the bear will. How did he die? The bear got to him? No. His shoulder ripped off his body.

He was blown into the back through the wall. But, you know, really, and Mike's even brought this up before, I don't think on this show, but if you're good enough to get somewhere and protect yourself from walkers right off the bat, which I believe the three of us are intelligent enough to do that. I think we'll make it. Through the first beginning part?

Yeah, exactly. There's gonna be this initial climax of problem, and then those who overcame that will be living in a new normal. I think we're getting there three months Six months one month. Okay, I think it'll have how many seasons do you survive after that? That's when the real problem is which is the people. Yes, you're no longer fighting zombies You've learned how to live and overcome those monsters the the the people who live in a zombie apocalypse are who you gotta be real afraid of.

Are you looking for the remote area or are you looking for the abandoned suburban housing neighborhood? I mean, I'm definitely going remote. Because you're gonna get supplies in the latter. If I can't go to the fancy island. He's gonna get all the way to this remote place but then he's like, oh crap, I don't have anything to eat.

So I think your best bet is if you can really, truly lock down a store. You know what I mean? If you can find a way to lock down a Costco. You're going day of the dead. Where day of the dead is they lock down the shopping mall. Yeah, there you go. I mean the shopping mall seems really hard to lock down.

Versus a Costco. Yeah. A Costco is wrong. Versus a Costco. Yeah. A Costco's a lot. Or a dollar store. A dollar store. I'm just thinking of what you, it's a lot of ground to cover in a Costco. There's no way you'd feel like you had all the entrances

covered. But there's not that many entrances and exits, like a mall. A mall's got it. People can get in there, man. Yeah, I mean, look, I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. A Costco, you could live there forever. Yeah, a long time. I mean, obviously, I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. A Costco, you could live there forever. If you had to.

Yeah, a long time. I mean, obviously, the frozen food's gonna fall. Yeah, as long as you have power. Yeah, you have all the canned goods. We won't have power for long. Good point. Two years. Two years, that's your final answer?

That's a confident man. Two years. That is, oof. Is that too much? No, I don't think so. I believe in you. Two years. Two years. I'm trying to think if I can beat that.

I'm not saying I'm going to survive. Just a couple years. Maybe a week? You're in a week? Good. Yeah. By self-inflicted? Well, I'm just saying.

I'm going to go a year. I think I can make it one full five. Well, now I'm feeling overconfident. I didn't mean to. Mike's just. You're not factoring in that. Your knowledge should be able to get I didn't mean to, Mike's. Well you're not factoring in that. Your knowledge should be able to get you further than a week. It's not about, you're not factoring in

that you have three children. Oh, I didn't say they'd survive. I'm leaving them immediately. When I said I'm driving north, I did not say we are driving north. If it's on the table that I've gotta go to the store to get milk, and I never return. I assumed we were alone in this situation.

Oh! I did to me and my family a week okay did that's where I was yeah yeah maybe a week okay it's just us just on our own yeah that's where I went with two years if it's just me um yeah maybe like 40 years I think I could do okay all right Kinsley from the website another another great question, are animal crackers a sweet cracker or a? I'm gonna have to stop you right there, Andy. Oh, okay. We have an update on the poll.

It has flipped 52.5% to 47.5%, stopped, sneezed, we're up to 1,084 votes. Okay, but your side is- What, my side is winning? Okay. Thank you, people. Thank you for having, I side is winning? Okay. Thank you people. Thank you for having, I just want a slight majority who aren't awful. No, you wanted 90-10.

I'm one, I mean, I'm willing to, I'm willing to just take a W, okay. I don't need a landslide. Well, just keep us posted. I certainly will. All right, continuing. Kinsley from the website, are animal crackers a sweet cracker or a bland cookie? My initial reaction

is the latter. The bland cookie? The bland cookie. Because I don't think of, it's funny because they're called animal crackers. Yeah, they're not crackers. They're not crackers. They were always a treat. Well, they're only a treat when they're covered in frosting. But those are called something different. Those are different, yeah. They are? Yeah, what are those circus animals? Circus, yeah. Animal crackers are the ones where the box. Oh, wait. Maybe I'm not understanding it.

The box looks like a circus. OK, no. That is the one I was thinking. And then they're not frosted. They're the red box, and it's a rectangle, right? Yes. Oh, mothers circus animals. Oh, those are different.

Those are the pink and white ones. Those are called sweet cookies. Those are awesome. But I mean, you could say they're different. But they are the exact same thing dipped in delicious frosting and sprinkles. Like the inside is the animal cracker. But just pretend for a second you're not eating one of those.

OK. And you're eating one of the animal crackers that came in the box that looks like a circus. I'm so sad. And they would be given to you in the back of the car when you were a kid. Yeah, I'm sad. And they would be given to you in the back of the car when you were a kid. Yeah, I'm sad. And they're really not. Good.

They're not good. They're the thing, like, it's better than not having something. They were okay. Yeah. I mean, but a cracker. When was the last time you had an animal cracker? The Mother Circus Animals?

Yeah, that's not a cracker. I'm just saying. You're drinking frosting. I love those things. I could eat those forever. So the plain ones? The plain ones? I don't think I've had one since I was a kid.

I have self-respect, and I'm a grown up. I can choose what I eat now. Well, Papa Josh is coming in hot. Animal crackers are a great snack. Of course, handkerchief Joe. Yeah, but when you were eating animal crackers crackers Papa Josh, there were no other treats. They do feel like the What like the bit of honey? Timeline like remember. Oh, yeah, they come from this

I finally found the picture and obviously on the podcast you can't see it, but they're like the little containers That's not the box. I know now I gotta find my that's kind of the current box I know they got a not the box I know. Now I gotta find my box. That's kind of the current box, but I know, they got a handle. The box has a handle. They are a bland cookie, my final answer. What's the difference, what's a cracker and a cookie? Oh, Jason found the box, thank goodness. The difference is, go ahead.

Oh, it is a different box. Yeah, I found the box that is the one you remember, and now everybody listening at home knows I found you the picture, the photograph, that you were looking for. So to me it's a bland cookie because I still looked at it like a treat. Because you know what?

I couldn't have one of these boxes every day in the afternoon. And I could have crackers every day. You have to put, if you can't put something savory on top, it's not a cracker. Yes. So you're saying- You don't put cheese on these. You can't put something savory on top, it's not a cracker. Yes. So you're saying? You don't put cheese on these.

You can't put? No. You can't put cheese on these. Because even though there's nowhere near a pepperoni on there? No. No, no, no. Too sweet. There's not enough sugar in it, but there still is sugar in there.

Yeah. Yeah, it's kind of like kettle corn, that level of sugar. Kettle corn has a ton of sugar? Yeah. No, no, no. I'm not talking about caramel corn. I'm talking about like kettle corn. that level of sugar. Kettle corn has a ton of sugar? Yeah. No, no, no, no, I'm not talking about caramel corn. I'm talking about like kettle corn. Yeah, me too. Yeah, that's pretty sweet.

Yeah, it's like straight up sugar popcorn. Some kettle corn is very subtle in the taste. Hmm. Not the kind you buy. I would never, never assume you would buy a subtle. To be fair, when I have kettle corn, I usually have the powder, the kettle corn powder. Yeah, that's that's so then I'm just Dumping it on layering it. Yeah, I like your answer

I think the answer is if you can't put something savory on it in a cracker. Yeah. Well, you know what I'm seeing The the photo that you found Jason actually it's called the Fisher price, but it's a game But it is it's the exact same box, except the animals are not caged. Was the caging of the animals? You used to cage them. Too intense for the Fisher Price game? It's too cruel?

Yeah, the old school ones, we really caged them up, and this one made them taste so good. Domesticated animals always taste better Right. It's like lion polar bear wild dog tastes terrible Just saying oh, it's a good point. All right. Oh, I ate horse That's a big announcement that's a big announcement because it is illegal in the United States of America Okay, well, let's now share your story, Jason. Yeah.

Yeah, I did some international traveling. And I went to Columbia. And I was at this restaurant. And I've got the Google Translate out on the phone so I can read the menu. No one had a better. I mean, you were just waiting. It was like you were a quick draw on your gun, man.

You've been waiting to scream into a microphone that you ate some horse. Look, I forgot about it until we're talking about eating these caged animals. And I remembered like, oh, yeah, I fulfilled a lifelong dream of eating a horse. I didn't eat a whole horse. Did you eat the whole horse?

But I'm looking through, and the phone is translating. And I'm like, wait a minute, what? You're reading the menu in Columbia. Yeah, I'm eating a menu in Columbia. No, you're reading the menu. Yes. How hungry do you think it was? Hungry enough to eat a horse? I ate a menu. I'm so hungry I could eat a horse. And I did.

Yeah. This goes back a good 20 years now where Jason, he knew that if he ever had the opportunity to eat a horse, he would, and he would talk about it. The backstory. The backstory is that he's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He back a good 20 years now, where Jason, he knew that if you ever had the opportunity to eat a horse, he would, and he would talk about it. Well, you need the backstory.

The backstory at our former company, a long time ago now, this is like 20 years ago. This would have been... This is how you start the conversation. Yes. Well, no, I think people wanted to jump right to the eating horse part, but a long time ago, I was a giant UFC fan, I was like, you know, doing jujitsu, and there was this athlete, Alistair Overeem, who went from this scrawny little dude

to this like beefed up, gigantic, steroid-filled monster, and everyone was like, oh, so what kind of roads you're doing? And he's like, no, no, no, I promise it's clean. I changed my diet, and I only eat horse meat now. And so I was like, I gotta get me some horse meat. That's it. That's it.

20 years later. But I found out. You're like a kid watching Popeye. Exactly, and it's like, whoa, I gotta open a can of spinach. But the problem is spinach is legal in the United States. Horse meat is not. Now they didn't take you out back and let you pick the horse.

No, no, no, no, no. Thankfully, this was already done. Not like lobsters? So but internationally, some countries eat horse. And Colombia, they'll eat horse. Verdict is in. Not good. It is super fatty, super tough.

Flavor's good. Tastes like a horse? Tastes like a horse. But I can say now, I was tough flavors taste like a horse It's like a horse, but I can say now I was hungry. You can also shout it. That's right. I ate a horse Oh, man, okay. Okay. Well you did it now that people know pole is up to 1,400 votes Stops sneeze is still in the lead by hey, how much percentage? 5244 okay, but very close. Too close for comfort. Would you rather have every sneeze stomp right before? Hmm. Okay. All right, do we have time for one more or do we want to draft? We can do one more. All right, Anne

from Patreon says, are clothes dirty if they aren't stained or smell bad? Oh man, this is a great question. That's a great question. Cause this is, that- Let's say our answer simultaneously by the way, once you think about it for a second. Stained or don't smell bad? If they're not stained and they don't smell bad.

Can we add one more caveat to this? Yeah, cause I would, this is a maybe. It's a maybe. So to me, I've gotta include and aren't wrinkled. Because to me, that is, you know, when you put a shirt on the ground or in a laundry hamper and it becomes wrinkled, to me that makes it dirt. Okay.

But they come out of the dryer wrinkled sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes, they shouldn't. There's a pretty distinct floor wrinkle. Do you guys have wrinkle solutions, by the way? Oh yeah. How do you make, like all of you guys have wrinkle solutions, by the way? Oh yeah. How do you make all of our pants come out wrinkled all the time?

Yeah, you get a little, we use a Downy spray, not a sponsor, good product. Just Downy, you want to sponsor the horse eater? Yeah! These clothes have been on a horse eater. But there's like a wrinkle spray, so you just spray it a little bit, hang it up, shake it out a little, and you're good by the time.

Oh yeah, works very well. Pretty chemical intense? Yep. Okay, that's what I thought. You got a lot of growth. That spray is nice. Donnie, you want to? Sport it.

Show me the, link me that, because Josh's saying that's great too. All right, but are clothes dirty if they aren't stained or smell bad? Wrinkled. One, two, three. No. Yeah!

I mean, what makes them dirty? That's good work. Dirty to me is I'm not gonna wear it. So would I wear a shirt that isn't stained, that doesn't smell? Yeah, I would. I would. I was thinking there was one other quality of a Yeah, I would. I would. I would.

I was thinking there was one other quality of a shirt when I would. I do, let's add it in. There is one other quality to a shirt. Have you ever had a shirt that's too soft? No. Too soft? Too soft. Because it's like worn.

Mike, you ever had a shirt felt too nice? Felt too good on the body? You ever slept on a bed that was too comfy? Those shoes, those shoes. Too soft? Why, I guess. You ever ate food too delicious. That's a big problem Don't ask me what I meant and then go into another bit

Mean do you want the answer I knew you didn you want the answer it feels so I know you didn't want the answer I'm feeling this you feel something put that in the water couple times ruin their roughness up You got a Brillo pad just All right, okay, okay, I don't believe you're done I'm gonna shut up What is clothes that are too soft? Have you ever had a shirt that you've worn too many times for too long, and it's just too-

Before washing it? No, just in general. OK, just- Just like an old ratty shirt. Right. You're saying it's close to the end of its life cycle. Yes, those shirts, sometimes I'm using that. Too soft was apparently the wrong way to describe it.

They're getting too thin. Yes, because that's what I meant by soft, is like they're so thin. A different word. Yeah, I meant a totally different adjective. We're done. We're done. We're done.

We're done. OK, so it's not garbage. Let's add that in. People wash their clothes too much. I'm going to say that. They wash them too often. I will say this. One of the things that I find-

Underwear every time. Yes. 100%. Socks every time. Yeah. Yeah. I'll wear breast socks twice if I didn't- If need be.

Yeah. But what's funny about- Total though. That's total uses of his socks. You don't want to change your socks. I'm ready to go. Yes. No, no.

That's asleep because you didn't take them off your feet. Yeah. There's still one use. Exactly. It doesn't matter if it spans the day There's still the first use that's what I was gonna bring up about and technically that would work with underwear, too That's what I was gonna bring up with dirty clothes though It's like, you know if I come home after work and I'm going out to you know Nice dinner and so now I've got fancy dinner. Yeah, sure Fancy boy over here going out to a nice steak horse dinner and

And I gotta like wear I gotta change my shirt gotta put a collared shirt on or something when I get home I Feel like that shirts dirty like I need to take it off I put it in the dirty clothes, but I'm like only wore it a couple hours if I had worn this when I woke up It was totally fine to wear it for 10, 12, 14 more hours. And it's not dirty until I take it off. But I wear it for two hours and I feel like I've got to wash this now. As long as you didn't get sweaty at the restaurant, then it's fine. Hang it back up. I just think we're not really even with our hours per wash of clothes.

Well, it's hours per wash and also just the area of your body. There's no clothes that don't touch some bad area of the body, right? I mean, I guess, I guess. The pits are a little insulated with the deodorant. And sometimes you have a good pit day, sometimes you have a bad one. Yeah, what's with that?

Yeah, sometimes you got a bad butt day. Yeah. But you gotta see. Well, there's never really a good butt day. But there's bad butt days. There's worse. So then there are good butt days. If it's not a bad butt day, it's a good butt day. That's truth. So far today guys, I think I'm having a good butt day. Alright, you guys want to draft? Mike can check on them whether you are or not yeah we'll draft the spitballers draft well well well here we are in our infamous Colosseum. Hyah!

We're ready to have a battle. And we are drafting historical figures to add to our roster, to enter that arena, to battle one another, historical figures from the annals of time. Yes, and there is a clear 101. Well, we'll see if there is. I mean, there are, there was a clear 101. Well, we'll see if there is I mean that there are there's there was a clear 101 for me

Wait The the both of you have a clear 101. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah And if what if he makes it there's just no way it's the same there's no way that our clear 101 are the same because He's taking I went to class. I went to class and this I don't know if you, I don't remember if you did. All right. I didn't. But to me this is the clear 101.

Never lost a battle. Undefeated. Historically. Not my guy. No, I didn't. Historically tactical genius. The greatest fighter known to many of all time, conquered most of the world.

I'm taking Alexander the Great. Okay. I'm taking Alexander the Great. Okay, okay. I'm taking Alexander the Great as number one. He's third on my list, I think it's a very good pick. Yeah, and I like the record because he's not gonna blow that hot streak in this battle with you guys. No, but the pressure's on. You know what I mean?

Like now he's got one more battle. Yeah, that's what they said about Jordan. And he lost sometimes. Not in the finals. Okay, and is that true? He was. lost sometimes. Not in the finals. Okay. And he was- Is that true? He was-

Did he never lose in the finals? Are you kidding me? Yeah, he was 6-0. Okay, good, good for him. Welcome to the 90s. It's been a minute. But he didn't always make the finals. Dude, this horse meat is not serving you well.

Alexander the Great, Russian? Where is he from? A Greek. Oh, is he Greek? Yeah. All right, yeah, I'm way off. You're thinking of Stalin.

Maybe. No, no. Okay. Which is, he's available, by the way. Yeah, I'm not taking him. I don't know if he can fight or not. I will say, I'm going similar to you, Andy, someone who, I have no idea, J.

I know who you're taking. You do? Write it down. Write it down. I'm looking it up. And at his peak, his people controlled between 11 and 12 million contiguous square miles about the area, about the size of Africa.

I'm taking Genghis Khan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the 101? No, no, no. Oh, that's just who you thought. No, that's a great pick. That's my number two pick. OK. talking Genghis Khan. That's the one on one? No, no, no. Oh, that's just who you thought. That's a great pick. That's my number two pick. Okay. That's a great pick. When you were going the same route, I thought there was a different guy. What, Alexander the Good? Well, I will end up drafting him. Genghis Khan, infamous fighter, somehow, his

tactics are- Strategist? Are highly questionable and there's like some weird Yeah, I mean he's a horrible person There's weirds yeah, but they all were man when I was doing it you can't take over half the world and be a good dude It's just amazing the quantity of these individuals that existed when I started looking up Historic like we know who Alexander the Great and Genghis Khan was but there's another list of about a thousand men yeah who conquered people in bad ways yeah and and and amazingly successful yes I've never heard of them until like research oh you only killed a thousand yeah all right I'm taking someone my one-on-one okay the one-on-one on my heart the one-on-one Yeah, alright I'm taking someone, my 101. The 101 that I thought Andy would take.

Oh, I know who it is! Yeah baby! We're not fighting for freedom! He's taking William Wallace! Oh, that's right Lads, get in the... I mean, come on, you guys are leading armies. But get in the fight next to me and I'm William Wallace? I'm ripping throats because I don't have my broadsword

I guess we're all going in here just bragging spare knuckles. Yeah you can bring in what you got. Of course nobody like Jason who you know Braveheart lover. Braveheart is my favorite movie of all time. I had to get William Wallace on my team I'm thrilled. But now I will admit. He's not even on my list. I'm thrilled. But now I will admit I am not even on my list. He's on mine. I will admit that you guys have great strategists, great minds that conqueror conquerors.

Yeah, famous. I've got a warrior. Now I want the mind who is also I don't know, has just an art to his war. Oh, he's... I'm taking Sun Tzu. I wasn't sure where you guys would have him. I thought maybe I could sneak him late. Oh no. So he's not even, he's just standing in the corner. No, he's still a human. He's still in the, he's scrappy.

He had to have been a great warrior. Yeah. You're taking an author. I am taking Sun Tzu. It's not just an author, he's taking the author. Yeah. Who wrote the book on war. Mike, our job is to diminish his picks. But it's a good pick. The dude wrote a book called The Art of War that people still use today. Do you think that at least one person somewhere in a war had it in their hands while they were

running across the field? And took an arrow in the chest. Yeah, they were like, what do I do next? Save me. What do I do? Save me. Quickly turning the pages on the battlefield. When did that book come out? Looks like, well, I don't know. Let's look that up.

Yeah. Art of War release date. Was there a line? Come on. Pre-release. Well, there was a e-book in 2014. Sometime between 500 and 430 BC. Wow, that's a lot longer ago than I thought, as they say. All right, so Mike, you are back on the clock.

Mike took, Jason took William Wallace and Sun Tzu. You have Genghis Khan. Yep. And I have one name that I really don't want you to take. Well, again, I have no idea. Just to reiterate, I'm going to go with a man who has, he does have a movie that has fictionalized his success well not really a success by the end but his exploits I mean he was the king of the

Spartans baby that's the name Leonidas mm-hmm Leon do this everyone knows the Spartans and their barbaric nature yeah take it like when you have kids you're like hey go survive in the forest and if you make it back, you can be a Spartan. You can live. That is so savage. I don't know if they actually did it, but I choose to believe it.

This is where the draft is turning. My Leonidas did. This is where the draft is turning. My Leonidas rip kicked a dude in the chest down a big well. That was endless. Right, that was history. Also, Leonidas dug that hole. This is where the draft is changing. Okay. Because Leonidas would have been my next pick.

But I've got two in a row, right? Yes. Yes, you do. Okay. I'm going take David To get the statue guy I'm taking David. Oh Yes, all right, so you got yourself a sling David we know that statue is gigantic. We've talked about it. I am taking David from The Bible, okay with hising, obviously overcoming long odds. Sure. He's going to be on my side with Alexander. And I'm going to combo him. Classic combo.

With Goliath. With Goliath? Oh, man. The team never. Have you ever seen them join forces? Dude, if you had David and Goliath, that's. For one night only. Former enemies, now friends. David and Goliath. For one night only. Former enemies, now friends, David and Goliath. Oh man. Together

at last. That's really funny. But no, I'm not going to do that. Because Goliath showed that he could get beaten by a boy with a sling. So I'm not doing that. However, this is going to be a bit of a departure from where we've gone, but I think it counts as a historical figure. Because this is long enough. It's hard to know what you count. So be interesting.

I'm taking it. Was he real? He was real. Okay. He was real bad. I'm taking Jack the Ripper. Oh, that's right. Yeah, that's a historical.

Yeah, I just figured we go back long enough And why you know, I mean he did some you're gonna have to murder in this Coliseum. Yeah Many why not have one of the best he did his murdering under the cover of darkness, right? Not on a bad deal. Well, I as far as I know what didn't that Leonitis in that in three was it three thousand 300 three As far as I know, didn't that Leonidas in that, was it 3,000? 300. 300. In that movie, wasn't there some eclipses? I mean, that's when Jack the Ripper will really be.

Well, yes, they, Oh, with the arrows. Yeah, you said our arrows will blot out the sun. We'll fight in the shade. Look, I'm taking Jack the Ripper. That is my pick. Jack the Ripper. That's, I respect him.

Formerly known as Jack. Later known as Jack the Ripper. I really got it got it guys people there's too many Jacks. Yes I really got to have a calling card. Yes So I have the trifecta of Alexander the Great. Okay, David from the Bible and Jack the Ripper All right. Also, I mean as King David eventually. Yeah. yeah, yeah, that's fair. You're not drafting boy David? I feel like I have to, I mean. I mean, he's the one that won in battle. Yeah, you gotta go boy.

You go King David. I get them all, I get them all. King David was a great warrior. He didn't have the aim anymore. He was a great warrior. Yeah, there's a story that's much worse than Goliath in there. Yeah, but I feel like, you know.

Well, speaking of worse, according to a quick Google search, this person is credited with killing. It's a wide margin, so it's funny. One to one million people. Between 40,000 to 100,000 people. 40,000? 40,000.

40,000. Oh, OK. I thought it was 40. It was somewhere between 40,000 and 100,000 people. 40,000? 40,000. Oh, OK. I thought it was 40. 40,000. It was somewhere between 40 and 100,000 people. We can't count very well. Tell me when to stop.

How many people have you killed? OK, 41. This many? 42. OK. 42,000. That was 100,000. He's also the Genesis, the origin of the Dracula story.

Yes, yes, I know who it is. His name is about as cool as it gets. It's pretty good. Vlad the Impaler. Oh yeah, yeah. And that dude, he did some bad stuff. Much like Jack, you're called Jack the Ripper for a reason. It's such a good.

Well, how does Vlad do it? Vlad the Impaler? What do you think he does? He's going to impale you. When we have our guys announced at this Coliseum, 100% people will be like, oh, they got Jack the Ripper. And then you counter it with an Impaler? Yeah.

Very strategic move. Wow. Hope you have a name like that. Yeah, I know. I'm looking at my list. Yeah, very strategic move. Wow. Hope you have a name like that. Yeah, I know. I'm looking at my list. I'm like, man, who's got the savage nickname here? I don't really.

I don't really. I got one nickname. Hmm. My nicknames aren't strong here. Frank the Meek? What is my team right now? Right now, I've got Sun Tzu and William Wallace. OK.

All right. Let's go to work here fellas This guy came back to me. I'm going this is very William Wallace ask I'm not just looking for leaders and looking for warriors but I want a warrior leader someone who has been a gladiator and fought in Coliseums before give me Spartacus! Okay, yeah that's fair. He was real?

Yeah, Spartacus. Alright, that's news to me. I thought he was just in that movie. There's a lot of extra lore and legend that I'm sure wasn't true, but he was a real military leader and gladiator. And did he ride the The chariot chariots, I hope so he believed he led a how fast could he go? He led a like a slave uprising Some kind I gotta think that's what gladiator was based on could be could be we don't know we'll never know All right, so I've got Spartacus William Wallace on Sun and Zoom. Oh, he did. Oh, dear, we just put it in there. He led a major slave uprising against the Roman Republic.

All right. Was killed easily in battle. No, that part isn't true. Also, while crying, weeped, calling for his mother, and playing the lute. So all right. So. Alright. Oh man. Okay, so I got one. Singing Spartacus.

Spartacus. Not Spartacus. Spartacus. Come on, you know his friends call him Sparty. Yeah, that's true. Oh my gosh. Alright. Stop playing Loot.

Okay, so I've got Spartacus William Wallace at Suns. So I've got one left and I've got, man I've got Spartacus William Wallace at Sun's Joe. I've got one left and I've got man I've got a list of a lot of people that I would love to have on my team, but I think I am swayed by your guys the Ripper, the Impaler, and I'm going to take the- And the great. And I don't know what this is, but I'm going to take the Hun. Oh, Attila the Hun. I'm going to take Attila the Hun, the barbarian ruler. I mean, you've got a barbarian. This guy was a barbarian.

From the Huns. Yes. How did he kill you with the Hun? He give you- On knee. Yeah. So Attila the Hun. All right, it's a good pick.

All right, so I'm back up. You are back up. You have your final pick. Sweet. So my team currently, let me pull this up real quick. Genghis Khan, Leonis, Vlad the Impaler. All right, I will go. This is going to be a brutal coliseum.

It really is. Just wait till I get done with my next pick. Oh, that's exciting. I've got a couple that I want to get. I'm going to go this direction. I think she got burned at the stake eventually. Yeah. But you know what?

OK, I'm taking Joan of Arc. Yeah. Yeah, she's on the list. Inspiring. The lady's just so BA that she's out there fighting back at a time where you're like, no, you can't fight. And she craig craig. Only me.

She craig, she goes. Joan of Arc is just dominating. Very good pick. All right. Love it. All right, so you have a Genghis Khan. Jeremy, you had all these ready? I did.

A French heroine and military leader, Joan was known for inspirational leadership and prowess in combat. During the Hundred Years' War, was she eventually burned at the stake? Am I remembering that right? I'll find out. I think that I-

The past is tough. Yeah. I, yeah. Man, I really do think that's right. do that was even an option. That is correct. May 30th 1431. Joan of Arc was burned at the stake. That's brutal All right, that's what it took to take her out though. That's how awesome she was. She survived a hundred years of war I don't think she survived all 100. She survived two of the stakes Took the third. All right, it's tough, because we all have pretty good lists, huh? We have longer lists.

I guess I'm gonna go with, look, you ain't your huckleberry. I'm taking Doc, I'm taking Doc Holliday. Oh, wow. I'm taking Doc Holliday. I tried to think back to somebody the most famous in the Wild West, and it was him or Wyatt Earp. I have Davy Crockett on my list. Oh, yeah.

I have Davy Crockett on my list. But only because he's the king of the Wild Frontier. Davy Crockett. We brought this name up earlier when I was asking people. Him and Daniel Boone are synonymous in my mind. Oh, yeah. They're the same person. They're the same person, right?

Those are different people. Yeah. All right, so I went with Doc Holliday for my final pick. But I would love to go through some of our honorable mentions. I had written the Red Baron, the fighter pilot. You don't get a jet. That's what I figured.

Although you guys have stretched the Coliseum at times. And then I had Sitting Bull as well. Oh, that's a good pick. Okay. That's good. Was that the end of yours? Uh, yeah. That was a good one. Al Capone. Okay. So you were really hoping you get to come in with weapons. Yeah. I did try to work that in there. Yeah. Okay. All right. Which Doc Holliday does. Uh, well if he has weapons and we don't then... No, you get weapons. You get whatever you're wield your wheel whatever you keep on you Man, I think Jack the Ripper was much without his weapons. You drafted Theodore Roosevelt. Give me the bear gun

That could have been a good pick. I've got him on my list. Did you have Teddy on the list? I do he's he's second in line behind Blackbeard the pirate, you know, was that real? He was real He was nice. Yeah, I got Abraham Lincoln. Abe Lincoln was literally the first name on my list. I would have gone George Washington over Lincoln. Oh the Lincoln. Military valor. No it's not military it's the at least the American tall tail. He was a wrestler. He was a wrestler. Yeah. And like you know. He had that mask. Which apparently incredibly strong. Can't wrestle the Delaware River, I'm just saying. I got Ragnar Lothbrok, which is a little made up.

Is that some kind of Viking? Yeah, he's a Viking. Awesome. If you watch Vikings, you'd be like, he should be the number one pick. I've got Nikola Tesla, just in case he could. I had Da Vinci on my list. Yeah, find a way to electrocute.

And my favorite one, the one that I kind of wish I paired with Sun Tzu, because I feel like Sun Tzu's mind and this guy's abilities, we could do some stuff. If I got my other two warriors, Harry Houdini. Dude, Houdini's on my list too. Yeah, that's crazy. If he can get out of things. Try to find him. Yeah. You know? How many people in there? I just love the thought of you got four warriors from history, and then you guys are like, the magician.

Yeah. Escape artists. Well, maybe they chain him up, and they think this is no problem, holding him hostage, and then, poof, where did Harry go? That's like drafting who's the famous motorcyclist that jumps. Evel Knievel?

Evel Knievel, it's the same to me. All right. He survived so much. Do it one more time, Knievel. Good draft, Knievel, as his friends called him. What did we learn today? I learned people love snot. It's disgusting.

The poll right now, we'll call it finished. It's still going. It's at 2,144 votes, 52, 48. Stop sneeze. But still too many people loving giant snot balls. I learned that there are regular islands and there are fancy islands. And I learned that I have actual real deep-seated hatred for the people who are spoiling movies out there. Yeah, as you should.

You know what? Right to jail. Straight to jail. Right to jail. All right. Thank you for joining us. Back with another one next week. Goodbye.

Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.