Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Bear Bait & Things That Start With the Letter ‘L’ - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: November 13, 2025

Spit Hit for Nov 13th, 2025:On this hilarious episode we learn why Jason and Andy are ACTUALLY friends, learn about proper drive-thru etiquette, and wrap things up with an incredible draft of Things that Start with the Letter L.  Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Hey now, brown cow how's about you gave me some milk? What? I don't even understand. What was it? That's, that's, uh, Dr. Seuss. I got off the timing. I got, I have no voice. If you didn't notice, it's going away. It's gone. I mean, it can't have a voice for every show. No, no, no. But you've had it for thousands. Thousands of shows. Well, 289 shows to be exact. Well, on this podcast. Yeah. But, um, no, we, we knew this is going to be a problem. Yeah, that's a Dr. Seuss book, Mike. Yeah.

The guy makes the... Wait, that's not the sound effect book, is it? I don't know, Mike. I don't know. I'm like 40. I mean, I read that thing last time when I was like six. All right. I remember the rhyme. I'm sorry, everybody.

How now Brown Cow? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's not a Seuss book. That's, uh... It's not? It's a teaching tool used to demonstrate the diphtong. Well, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, which I've learned real good about that, but it was written by Alice Shirtle. Okay, I don't want to know anymore. Well, I wanted to credit the author properly. Absolutely. They're probably waiting for that. I love that. It's to teach me something that I don't know what it is. What was that word?

A diphthong. Diff thong, I believe. Diff. You say diphton. Oh, do you? Yeah. It's pH. I know.

I trust you. He doesn't. No. Me? Yeah, you. I'm 100% known. What is it? A dip thong is a sound form by the combination of two vowels and a single syllable.

Get out of here. But it is diphtong. So a hay now brown cow is a diphton. Yes. And that's what I was trying to show you. The combination of two vowels. It's definitely pronounced diphton. No, it is not.

According to everything else it is. Maybe not to you. Why do you feel like you're the post? Because I know the word. I see, I'm seeing dip. I mean, it is spelled. I just, I just played it with my unmuted laptop, and it said diphton. It looks like dip thang to me.

Oh, dip thang, yeah. It's got the A with the two dots. Check that up. What? Why is, why is an A with two dots over it? Aw? Yeah. The a, I don't know.

I'm sorry. But we're, but we're spelling it with an O. Why don't we just use that letter? I wish I wouldn't have done it. Yeah, but it spurred a very vigorous conversation. Well, today on the show. Today on the show, you guys will have to help my squeaky voice. We'll do our best.

We have Would You Rather? That's a great question. And we are drafting things that start with the letter L. So get your list together. because um i've got a great 101 once yeah i figure it out oh really yeah oh come on you know we all know what the 101 is we do yes we do i know what i think you think the number one is lasagna oh okay okay we'll get there um let's begin Mike from the website has a question, Mike.

Why don't you read it? Would you rather have all walls and ceilings in your house be mirrors? Or have every light in your house be a flickering fluorescent light. Oh. Okay. I think one of these could be awesome. And it's certainly not the flickering fluorescent light. Now, we've had talks about you.

You think the mirrors would be awesome. No, the mirrors are a major problem. I think they could be awesome. There are some advantages. The problem is that, like, that many mirrors means they all reflect off each other, leaving you in a torturous existence. Whereas I assume, now maybe I'm wrong, you love light. I do love light.

You want rooms to be filled with light because you won't go to the doctor and get the right prescription for your glasses. They can't get it right. I've gone, and it's just, it's still so dark. But do I, so would you have a dark house? This is a sidebar, would you rather, for Jason only. Would you rather have a house that is very dark and dreary Or a house that has lights But they're flickering fluorescent lights

Oh my goodness How much do you love the light? A flickering light, that's not a light I mean, are you saying that in this hypothetical I'm not allowed to like bring in lamps? Yeah So I have to live in the dark I can't No, you have to live in the dark

Or a flickering fluorescent lightness I would rather have a flickering fluorescent light But I mean that that would I would just live outside side getting back to your the sign is also flickering your statement the advantages the advantages yeah yeah i want to hear about your mirror you get to see yourself all your walls and ceilings are mirrors my first thought of an advantage was that things would seem bigger right because now here's the thing you put it on one wall right you put it on one wall the room looks bigger i've had

yeah yeah that's why they used to do it because you get tricked yeah you get tricked you're like Oh, this is twice as big. Twice the light. You want to go down that hallway? What hallway? That's not a hallway. It's a mirror. But I do think, you know, when you put it on all the walls, now all of a sudden, I don't know if it's bigger or just confusing.

Yeah, it'll be very confusing. Can't keep it clean probably either. No, that will be an issue. What about when you lay down? You get to, it looks like you got really tall ceilings. Maybe. Or you're sleeping on the ceiling? Is that what you want?

Yes, I'm in there too, aren't I? Can you, if there's just mirrors everywhere, can you light this house with like one light source? Oh, yeah, just like one of those crypts that. It's like a lighthouse just shooting in one beam of light. I did think of another advantage. Oh, great. I would want to live in that house specifically if someone was trying to pursue me and kill me. Yeah, because you would have a, you would know which way to turn when you go into every room.

they would attack the mirrors based on what I've seen in the movies. Yeah, like the raptor? Yeah, they would attack a bunch of mirror walls. I've seen people run in the house of mirrors. It never ends well. No, you, um... You hit your forehead. Yeah.

On your forehead. Flickering fluorescent lights. Are they going... Every light is like that? Yeah, your whole house. So... Because in my mirror world, in my mirror house, I've got beautiful. beautiful lighting.

The lighting and I've got skylights open. I've got perfect bright LEDs. No, they've got mirrors on them. Well, they do have mirrors. Okay, I've got LEDs, really bright, nice warm LEDs. Yeah, maybe just one. And it still lights up your whole house. I think I would rather live in that than in constant flickering fluorescence.

Which is every time I'm saying that phrase, I'm scared to death right now. I mean, it is, it is like, oh, I know myself. And I'm just like, I'm going to do this wrong. Like dip thong? Dip thong is right. That's how you say it is diphtong. I can't even concentrate because you guys have been fighting about that pronunciation for a while in the chat. Did you decide?

You know, Al does not give up. Merriam Webster went with diff. Diff. Yeah, diff thong. Sounds wrong, though. I guess I'll go with the mirror. I think the flickering lights is pretty, pretty tough. Even as someone who likes it dim, I don't want it flickering.

Now, what if it was, does it make a difference if it's natural? Like a candle. Candlelight is flickering. It does seem better. That doesn't feel bad at all. Like if the whole house. No, it's like a cool ambiance when it's like that. Yeah.

Because a flickering fluorescent light means that. Well said. Around any corner, there's a clown. If you have enough flickering lights, you do have enough light. Yeah. Because they're not all flickering at the same cadence. No, it's the annoyance of the light.

You wouldn't know. Like, how many flickering lights do you need to not notice a flickering light? There is an answer. I think this is a circuitry problem that's causing the flickering. So they're all synced up? Yeah, they're synced up. Give me the mirrors. Yeah. All right.

Jason, why don't you read our second one here? All right. Mack from Patreon wants to know, would you rather have to wear underwear as a hat or shirts as pants okay so I mean

I mean who amongst us hasn't put a shirt on his pants at some point in your life I don't think

I haven't I don't think that you haven't gone legs through the arms I don't think so but I don't think that last

you are you do legs you're a liar if you do legs through the arms isn't that in some ways like not

wearing underwear uh yeah I mean unless you have underwear on well it's it's wearing a shirt

like you would have have a you'd have a path out yeah you'd have a path out yeah you do it's like it's like it's like the like a butt flap but it's it's always open it's virtually open yeah the whole neck hole yeah the whole neck hole is my real is your real well now I would have underwear I think you can ride it lower I think you can ride it lower to where the neck hole is like between the legs you can wear underpants in this well yeah but you don't want your underpants out anyways I mean a shirt as a hat or I'm sorry a shirt as pants is really a pair of shorts that you pull up up to your arms.

Huh? Like a shirt upside down doesn't cover your legs. Right. Yeah, if it's a short sleeve. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it needs to be a long sleeve. Oh, a long sleeve shirt would do better. Yeah, it'd be more pant-like.

I mean, I would definitely go short sleeve. I mean, if I'm being honest, I think I'd go muscle shirt. You know what I mean? Oh, a tank. I'm just, I'm, that's freaking sweet. A tank top. I'm trying not to picture that right now. Oh, yeah, baby.

Pulled all the way up. That would be the most comfortable because you would be the most unrestricted. It would be the most like I was born. So, yes, that would be very, very comfortable. I won't go tank, but I do think I'll go short sleeves because I get hot, long sleeves on my legs. Clean underwear as a hat shouldn't be a problem. It's no different than putting on like a clean shirt. it's just fabric.

Yeah, but it's got the... But it's a pair of underwear. Yeah. So it's like the whole, like, you know, people don't drink orange juice at dinner time. People don't put their underwear on their head. Would you get a graphic one? I do think it makes a difference. Or would you just go like a plain black or plain white or would you get, you know, like Super Mario?

I don't want people to... I don't think it's better if they slowly discover its underwear. You want them to know, right? So you're going to like whitey tight? They're going to know its underwear eventually. I don't think that's true. But one of them says, hey, I'm wearing underwear on my head. You don't think they'll figure out.

Hold on it's underwear. It's who I am. The other one says, what is he wearing on his head? Is he trying to pretend like that's not underwear? Does he not know that that's a pair of underwear pants? I just want people to know right out the gates. So yeah, I'm going to go Ninja Turtle pattern, maybe a Marvel pattern. There we go.

Maybe I'll support the local sports team. Do they make those NFL licensed? Undipers? And I get a pair of Cardinal. hats. I'm sure. I'm sure. But you are, yeah, you're making a fashion statement. Yeah, I think you could, I think at first it was like you've got to wear shirts as pants here because you can't put undies on your head. But I think you can, this can be like a bandana. You know what I mean? This can be, you know, depending on the material. This could, this could be a nice thing that

you're doing for yourself. No. I could. It really good. A nice thing. A nice thing. You get, you get a good material like the you know most most of my underpants are like that uh sports can't wait to hear this you know like that that's gold and laid material no they're they're they're really nice it would be like spandex not spandex but i don't know they're you talking about the cousin the material of the underpants yeah i can we can find this out right yeah i don't know the material of your elite underpants i it's a very specific Is it Lycra? Maybe.

Now, are you going to know it if you hear it? I'm going to go, I'm going to go find it, okay? Because I know, I know what I'm wearing. And I think it's going to, I think it's going to feel real nice. I think it's going to look nice. It's going to be like a. It's not going to look nice. It's like a bandana and a du reg put together.

I think there's two leg holes in every pair of underwear. I'll tie him back, like in a knot, like in a bow. It'd be pretty sweet. I think you got to let him laugh. So Jason's going with the underwear hat. I'll go with this shirt his pants I'm doing the underwear hat for sure All right

Cartman from Patreon What movie world would you rather live in the middle of Okay I swear Jason's just looking on underwear right now I am Did you find it? It's moisture wicking 360% stretch performance fabric

What are you made out of? Performance fabric Is that the name of it? Just performance fabric Which world do you want to live in Jason? want to live in Jurassic Park, that world. Okay. The purge.

Not it. And then invasion of the body snatchers, which I don't know the plot of that movie. Mike, do you know this one? That is, yes, that is the alien stick over your body. Oh. Is the gist. But you don't know who they are. So here's the thing.

If you live in the world of Jurassic Park. You're in Jurassic Park. You're on the island. Yeah. You don't just get to live in a world with dinosaurs. Absolutely. Oh, what do I want the one where people go on murderous rampages or where there's dinosaurs? Well, the dinosaurs go on murderous rampages.

Yeah, but not where I am. No, yes, you're in that world. That's what Mike's saying. Mike's saying you have to be on the island. You're not just living in California while the island is doing its thing. Yeah, you guys are saying the same thing. But let's say you're on the island. You have paid for what has to be super expensive trip to go to this incredible theme park, world renown.

There's Lenublar. and so you you you get your access you get your ticket you get to the park you're having a great time you're seeing great dinosaurs but then they didn't really see a lot of but then the problems happen because it's Jurassic Park and they're out I don't think that's that bad you didn't see the movie I saw the movie and here's what I know I know that there are dozens of people maybe maybe not even dozens maybe a dozen people in that movie that really they look they died and that that sucks but there's eaten tens of thousands of people on in that park so I feel like my odds are pretty good no you my odds are really good I'm surviving you're referencing the later Jurassic Park

New Jersey World yeah gosh I think a just a good room with a lock and you're going to be all right you're saying from the purge or no no Jurassic Park they they know how to open doors Yeah, but not if I lock it. That's a good point. Why didn't they ever lock the doors? No, they tried to lock it with the computer. They did try to lock it. Yeah, that's all.

And guess what happens right after they get the lock? They cut to another scene and then you hear the glass break and the dinosaurs come through the glass and they eat some more people. Well, I'm going to go down where they were looking at the computers. You don't know how dinosaurs work, man. I understand. You want to be eaten alive. I can defend myself against humans. I can't defend myself against dinosaurs.

Humans are way bigger monsters than dinosaurs. The world's greatest prey, or predator. The dinosaurs are the first. The dinosaurs are the first coming. I don't know this other movie. I feel like Papa Josh put it in there. It's from his generation or something. It is older and I think it was a remake.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers, 56 and 78. Oh, both years Josh knows a lot about it. The year of Josh was born and the year Josh finally graduated high school. This quick synopsis says, This world is characterized by an alien invasion where extraterrestrial beings replace humans with identical copies that lack emotion and individuality. The pervasive threat of being replaced by an alien duplicate creates a constant and insiduous danger. So they replace you?

Yeah. Kill you and then they take over your spot or do they take over you? They take over your body. Oh. So they snatch. Okay. They, they, they, uh, it's like they're a body snatcher. Uh, is how I would look at it.

You got a body switch teams real quick. I'm going to snatch it. I mean, I mean, sure, let me, let me, let me pay a picture. to be eaten alive. That's one of my top principles in life. I write a book, rule number one, don't be eaten alive. But would you like to see dinosaurs

running around, primal, maybe even eating people, but you survive. Yeah, you would. Yeah, that'd be cool. Okay, so I'm saying it'd be cool. Odds are that at the end of this, it's cool. That's what I'm saying.

Jurassic Park. In that world, theoretically, not saying anything wrong here. Okay, good. Let's say this is a world where dinosaurs exist all the time. Everywhere. And some people get eaten. Do you try to have meatier friends?

Oh, like snacks? I heard meatier and I thought we were doing a really good dinosaur joke. No, no, no, no. Meatier. I was being polite. Full of meat. Thicker, thicker, fatter, slower, more juicy, more caloric. Like, is your friend group get defined by the fact that you don't want to be the

premium selection by the dinosaur. No, if dinosaurs were everywhere. Like, I want to be faster than my friends. But if they were everywhere, like Andy, we've got, you know, a cabin up north, and there's bears. There are bears there. And there's been a bear really near our cabin. Why do you think you and I are friends?

Wait a minute. Are you telling me that I'm the, I'm the caloric bear trait? That's what you call him bear bait. Oh, that's why. I didn't, I thought that was a cute. I thought that was a cute, name bear bait and you actually meant I am bait for a bear unbelievable see for me I get bear spray and a bear horn and I don't think about like throwing my kids to the bear right I think about let's take

them on saying I don't have to feed my friends to the animals I mean you don't I won't you can right no that makes sense you're gonna get a dinosaur horn I'm like I don't think you're going to spook dinosaur I got my dino gun he does have a gun that might be fine I mean This thing is, he's the only person in the planet that might be fine from dinosaurs. I might be all right. One shot, T-Rex. You're done. Food.

Down it goes. I mean, I got oversold. I'm going to be honest. I'm not a gun guy. I own one gun. And this gun is like. And you went there saying, I want to take care of a bear in case it comes up my cabin, right? I went there saying, animals at the cabin.

He said, well, what's the worst animal? I go, well, there's bears there. So he got me a bear gun. This is not a bear gun. This is like line up. up six bears in a line one shot save on ammo and I've got a I've got a bears gun you got a polar bear gun all right we're losing ourselves here um I want to live in uh the Jurassic Park yeah yeah we didn't you love Jurassic Park I know you didn't even consider the purge but I've I've

I've only seen maybe one of them yeah what's the no if you're not familiar with the purge the story line of the purge there's there's 24 hours where no rule there's no rule there's no law, no rules. So it's, it's basically, no prosecution for murder. It's purging out all the bad things that humans want to do through the year and all their nastiness, all their fileness. Yeah. And so it's purging the instincts of the humans, not purging the people up from the earth.

Exactly. Well, it ends up kind of doing both. But what it does is you get a 24 hour period where all the rules, everything is legal, everything's off limits. And so if you perform something during the purge, there's no repercussions. You want to kill someone. You can kill someone. Ooh.

You can do whatever you want. And the theory I think in its creation, I think I saw the first movie like forever ago, and I've never watched any of the others, is like it's going to be better for society, the other 365, four days of the year. And so, but that one day, you better have a panic room. But that's the thing is like people's houses have all the, like the metal doors collapsing down. Yeah, because it's complete. Yeah, there's no, no, no, man.

I am not built to live in that world. If you lived in that world, does your, like, let's say we're all transported there tomorrow. Okay? We're all three of us. Uh-huh. We're just in that world. And then like, uh, like we're recording this show, let's say a week from now,

you know the purge is coming. Okay. What's the first thing you're doing other than, I mean, do you go get your elephant gun? I get my elephant gun in a hiding spot. Let's see, I do you go defense offense? Oh, I go defense. I go 100% defense. I'm prepared for offense, should it be necessary.

But I will go hole up in some cave or some great bunker. Something with one entry point? With one entry point. And an elephant gun. And an elephant gun. I'm fine. You go defense, Mike. Yes, we are running.

Sounds like Andy's going offense. He's like, well, no, no. Because what I'm saying is if the three of us were there, I would love to just go with a murder's rampage. He's like, I'm taking a lawn chair, I'm putting it on my roof. I got a list. And that's where I'm sitting. I got a list.

Okay. What is your list? you got a list of people I'm just saying I thought you had a list of things you would do you're like no no no I got a takeout list I got some insider trading to do

I think we'll end it there Jurassic Park is the answer I want to see the dinosaurs before I mean you made a good point I did think though about the truth of the question of like would you rather the heart of this question is would you rather

be hunted by humans or rather be hunted by dinosaurs or aliens or aliens and the truth is i can trick a dinosaur better i feel like i could beat a human i couldn't be a dinosaur so you are going perj no no because then i don't get to see dinosaurs but i would still in a one-on-one fight i'd rather be in a one-on-one fight with a human but i want to see the i want to see the source that's a strong take all right we're back in a minute that's a great question joseph hold up oh i got my undies breakdown oh it's not performance fabric performance fabric is made up of 12% spandex this is why when you said it's spandex i was

like no but but kind of it's 12% spandex 88% polyester and i'm telling you it'd look good on your head i'm just letting you know I'm going to come in tomorrow. Yeah, I would. I would. I'd try to prove it to us. I'm going to go to the bathroom and come back out. Well.

Show you right now. Joseph from Patreon says, you've got your house chilled to a nice 69 degrees in the Arizona summer. Beautiful. That's chilly. But your kids, being the turds that they are, Joseph, what are doing here? Leave the back door open when they come back into the house scientifically.

Are they letting the cold air, out or are they letting the hot air in scientifically they're definitely letting the hot air in i mean i get that it'll probably go both directions but i'm in one of those places i'm inside and when so it's just perspective it's yeah i have been at like a out outside some place at a shopping area and one of the best and it's hot out and one of the best places to stand is right in front of where the doors keep auto opening. Yeah, because the cold air rushes out. Cold air rushes out and cools you, and you benefit from that.

I feel like there's a power or a pressure difference when you're at one of those businesses versus when you're at your house. Like if I'm in the backyard, you know, I'm 10 feet into the backyard. I don't feel the cool in the Arizona summer of the doors wide open. I feel the heat wins. The heat just wins. And that's why the heat is coming in is because it's just stronger.

And so if you're inside... Hot is stronger than cold. Hot is stronger than cold in Arizona. Maybe not everywhere. But when you're inside, you could be 25 feet from that door that's open and you are feeling the heat win inside. That heat is creeping in. It's purging.

Do you have turd kids that do this? Oh, yes. That's where I was going to go. Is at what point, at what age did you hit where all of a sudden, the switch flip? and now you became the parents and now you see open doors

to outside and inside you feel great pain until that door is closed that that question is what you're saying is at what age did you become a homeowner okay as soon as you start paying the electric building soon as it's yours baby

soon as it's yours you care do you care about people turning lights off when they leave the room I don't know I should but I don't well no you shouldn't actually I just saw this. This is actually changed. They say it's good, like, it's a good practice, you know, for the idea of, like, you do it because you want to save power.

But because so many bulbs are LED, it's so microscopic of a savings to, like, turn it off and then turn it right back on when you come back into the room later. Like, it doesn't make that much of a difference. Oh, that's good. But it's something that, like, you grew up, like, oh, my gosh. Did you leave the light on in that room that you weren't in? Also cost money and it also then heat. Like light bulbs used to be crazy hot.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. But now it's like very minimal of a difference. Everything that we pay for in Arizona, electricity-wise, is AC. You could have all your computers running. You could be mining Bitcoin. It don't matter. It's just how much air conditioning are you running against the satanic sun in Arizona.

So the heat comes in here. The heat wins, man. Hmm. Yeah, I mean. He's more powerful. Yeah. And he was specific, he said, in the Arizona summer. In the Arizona summer, the heat's coming in.

The cool is not going out. The cool goes out towards the heat and just gets massacred. It just gets, it just gets heated up. I mean, that's what's happening. I want you to guess how much it costs if you took an LED light bulb and you just turned it on for the entire year what your cost. So you, 365 days, 24 hours a day. Are we talking about we're averaging over the surge pricing? Yeah, what kind of pricing are we dealing with?

Yeah, what time? I'm giving you, like, a price based on a flat average. Holidays are included? Oh, my God. Okay, because sometimes we get great prices on holidays. I'm going to guess. For the whole year. For the whole year.

Well, now I know it's going to be low. Is that like five bucks? You got to guess, Mike? Five bucks was what popped in my head. I will go six bucks. It's $10.51. Oh, all right. So.

10 bucks to leave a light on for the whole year. That's the never turn it off for the entire year. But that also means. Which means your cost per hour is 12 cents. 12 cents per hour. Is that right? No, less than that. Yeah.

Sorry, that would be it's 0.012. Ooh. Per hour. That feels like nothing. It's like I'm stealing from the power company. But to be fair, like I know like, you know, my living room, right? There's like 10 light bulbs in there. It's not one light bulb. No. I don't light a room with a bulb. So it's like, it's not, it's not 10 bucks. It's 100 bucks.

When you let like a sliding glass door go open and the heat comes in. That's $100 an hour. Is that what it is? Okay. All right, Daniel from Patreon, when eating wings or ribs, my girlfriend always cleans her hand after each one. I am of the stance. that you should just clean your hands when you are done as to not waste time or napkins. Jason was so disappointed. Who is correct? It wasn't disappointed. It was self-disappointment.

But it's like I do the same thing. You clean it after each one? I do because I don't like it. But it also is like, I've had the thought before. I'm like, I am wasting so much time. Just grab the next week already. Just keep going, but it's like, I've got to clean my fingies. I just don't like, I don't like having the sauce on my fingers.

I've gotten to an age where I hate it so much that I eat ribs with fork and knife. What? And that is really off brand for me. I feel like I'm a slathered up and get messy kind of eater. But it's just not true. That's just what you think I am. A fork and knife for ribs? You got to try it, man.

It's just as good. The meat tastes just as good. But it's shameful. It's shameful. It's like, yes, it is absolutely. It's going to turn your back. It's like using a fork and knife for a pizza. I feel like it might not.

It might not taste as good. It totally tastes as good. No, because you're not licking your fingers and getting all the barbecue sauce off your fingers. I mean. But you are getting all of the sauce. Right. It's not left on the fingers. I clean it off the fork.

Every bite. This surprises me. I thought I heard your expression. and that you wanted him to leave her because of this. No, I understand. And she's a woman after your own heart. I understand her. Have you ever chicken wing with a fork and knife?

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I don't think so. I mean, honestly, when I really don't want to get my hands dirty. Give it a rip. I'm going to order that boneless nuggie. And that way I'm a lot. Those shouldn't even count.

Those should never be called wings. No, that's not fair. to be in the same comment it's a different product i'm so happy they're called wings because i feel better about like i'm getting wings today i'm not getting nuggets why do you feel better though yeah because wings are like a grown-up meal oh not nuggets nuggets nuggets are children's food okay now that's the same thing yeah it is it's a big nugget but it's called a grown-up nugget that's called a wing a boneless wing boneless wings are just i'm eating buffalo wings like a man thing a grown-up would do.

Yeah, I'm just a full-grown man. Let's go out for wings. Oh, yeah, heck yeah. I'm going to get wings. I'm going to eat it like a man. Could you imagine? I could ask my friend, you want to go out and get some wings? He'd say, yeah.

You want to go out and get some McNuggies? You want to go get some nuggets? No, I don't want to go. What are you talking about? Hey, bro. 50 nuggets. Let's do it. You want to get nuggets and watch the game?

Yeah, you want to get nuggets? Yeah. You want to get wings and watch the game? Oh, yeah. I'm a man. Yeah. Oh, man, nothing better than a good. UFC fighting nuggets.

What? Eating nuggets? And they are nuggets. They are 100% nuggets. Bowles wings are adult nuggets. Now, to be fair, they're a little bigger. They're usually a little bigger. They're grown up nuggets.

There are no chicken strips, which is a whole other debate. Chicken strips are just their own. Chicks are for all ages. All ages can have chicken strips. Adults can have them and kids can have. But can you tell your friend, let's go watch a game and get some chicken strips? Yeah. I think that is okay.

When you said that I wasn't grossed out, when you said, you want to go watch the game and have some nuggets, it's like, what is wrong with you? Okay. So I'm happy they're called wings, but I agree that it's not fair. They're not wings. I mean, we did just crack the code of why they're actually called that. Oh, sure. Shame. Yeah.

Because they want them to be ordered. And we wouldn't order nuggets. I feel like a whole restaurant should be themed with you go there to eat kid food So like PB&J's Chicken nuggets Mac and cheese What's the ambiance in here?

I mean the ambiance is Is it fancy? I think it should be I think probably I think it should be really nice I think that's the juxtaposition Like some dark lighting But you do get

It's super nice But you do get like a coloring sheet an adult coloring sheet. Can we do the thing? I've been in nicer restaurants where they've got the, you can draw on the table. You know what I mean?

Like the, the, yeah, you could do that if you want. But the kids meal only has stuff like filet mignon and like. Oh, I like that.

Them kids got to eat like grownups. The kids have to eat like grownups. Those have wings. Those have wings on that grown up menu, on that little kid menu. All right. I think this is, I think,

don't steal my idea. I can genuinely, I can genuinely say, because I was thinking about this while you guys were talking, if I, I ever I've ordered boneless wings

1600 times Yeah over 100 times in my life Right because they're delicious I have never once and never would If I saw nuggets On a menu

I would bypass it One if I saw Buffalo nuggets I would never Is this just restaurant or is this fast food Restaurant of course I've ordered Nuggets from fast food Michael Gosh Why is it we can get

Nuggets at the fast food place Because you're already full of shame You're in a drive-thru, Mike. You are full shame. Nothing you do there matters. You can add on the milkshake. You can get the double-quarter pounder with anything. You can order.

I mean, one of my absolute favorite things is the McRib. I love the McRib. What is it? No one knows, man. It doesn't matter. I'm already full of shame. Just put it in me. When you go through the drive-thru and you order, you should reach out and take a paper back

and then put it over your head for the rest of it. of the drive, so no one has to see you. It would be really nice if car manufacturers started having two windows. One is a regular window, and you could pull, you could push that down, and you could pull up the window that is like a little hole in it, you know, it's like, just your arm? Yeah, your arm can go through like, uh, like a little, yeah, what are those? A little, a little, a little door that just opens up and your arm can go out. You can hand them the card.

They never get to see who's inside. I don't know if we need that. No, I know we don't. All right, speaking of drive-thrues, Adam from page chancellas, what is the proper etiquette for drive-thru ordering size thresholds? I'm currently sitting in line waiting for a single item, but the driver in front of me ordered $120 worth of food and I've been stuck waiting behind him for now 12 minutes. Am I impatient or is he a jerk? You're the jerk. You're the jerk, Adam.

Oh, wait a minute. Adam's a jerk. Was Adam behind you? it wasn't you are not me i'm rubber your glue was adam behind you um probably look i just talked about this you can go 120 you can go 120 man you're already full of shame order it all you have made the decision to drive into that lane and when you're in that lane just just just be yourself but here's the problem ordering something that expensive if that restaurant is not saying sir please pull up and wait there and we'll bring you your order it's on them it's on the

restaurant that's not that they want to keep the line moving they can keep the line moving absolutely you ordered something small behind him you shouldn't have to wait is there i feel bad for you and i'm sorry i called you a jerk at him but i'm just saying that other that other person's not a jerk but is it really a drive-thru if they make you pull around to the front that feels like pickup i hate Like Culver's, that's the only way you get it there. I'm not saying that they don't do that. I'm just saying it's not drive-through. Oh, that's drive-thru.

I mean, if you don't get out of your car. You didn't have to leave your car. If you don't get out of your car, it's drive-thru. I mean, why am I even going through the line? Why don't I order on the app and sit in the pickup? That's a great question. Andy, why don't you order online and do the pickup? Because I want to drive through.

And so you do. I feel like it. I feel like it. It does feel like it. Honestly, I know the reason you don't do it. Fear. you've never done it before have you done what the order online and sit in the pickup have you ever done it only with panera bread yeah and so would you do it again with panera bread yeah because you're

comfortable yeah but you're scared of newness we're old yes yes and you want to know how i knew and i saw right through you because i'm talking to myself i've never ever done it and i'm terrified i don't know you've never done it i've never are you afraid of how to do it bring your food but where do I park? What time do I show up? Parking spot is for pickup only. How much earlier do I have to order it? Do they wait to start making it until up there? Have you done Panera? No. Start with nothing. Start with Panera.

Panera has real big, they have clean signs that one, two, three, you put on the app, you say I'm in one, I'm in two right now. Do you have to drive there first or do you do this before? No, no, no, you can do it before. So I'm at home. Yeah. And I'm pulling up whatever food app and I go, I'm going to order this and I'm going to go pick it up. And when I get there, because I never know. It was holding in the drive-thru late.

They don't have nuggets. Right. That is, you saw me now. Man, Panera is, they've got it on lock. They do, you can also order ahead and then go through the drive-thru. Now that. See, this is confusing. This is what I'm talking about.

But I'm saying, like, they're giving you whatever. How do you want your food? We've got you covered. This is why I just have. That's what I was going to say. 100% of my stuff is just bring it to me now. That's fine. They will do that.

I mean, your entree is $35. dollars but they'll bring it to you i just thought of another good idea oh man you are full of them it's a sushi restaurant i'm in they make the roll right at your front door they so they just bring it was kind of like a van yeah it was like tom green's pizza pizza pizza yeah the undercutter's pizza it's like undercutter's pizza that's right they just show up and make you your pizza for a better price so the the the sushi place just has the chef yeah they just driver Yeah. And they got like a tackle box full of different ingredients.

They come up, a little fold-out table and make it right there. People aren't really doing stuff at the door anymore. Anymore? No. So there was a time. I just feel like there was more, weren't there more like, you know, deliveries were like more? You're talking about like the Schwann's man? I don't know.

I felt like life used to be more interactive. Now it's just drop it at the door and hit the road. I think what you're thinking of is you used to have to answer your door while the human was there. Yeah. And now they just. Oh, that's. Yeah. Why would you want the human?

We've made that situation much better. All right. We're going to draft. Today we are drafting things that begin with the letter one. What are we doing earlier one-on-one? I mean, it's like. It's everyone's one-on-one. I don't like that you say that because I'm the first pick.

And I'm not going to pick what you think is the number one pick. I think I know what he's talking about. I'm going to write down what I think your number one pick it. Okay. Well, don't show it after you pick in case Mike doesn't want it. I'm not taking whatever I think yours is. I'm going to take lava. Oh, that's good.

It's not even on my list. That's a great pick. I'm taking lava with the number one pick. It's short. It's sweet. it starts with L, and it's pretty cool. That's super cool. It's super hot, but it does amazing things.

Yeah, lava's the pick. That's a great pick. You know what else is cool, Jay? What's a lightsaber. Oh, that is cool. I will take that. Crap, that's a good one. Yeah, that was on my list.

It's a great. Now you take your boring picks. Go ahead. Of course. It's the one we all need the most. It's love, baby. No, you're going to snore at love? No!

No! Yes! Yeah, I refuse. The people are with me. The people... It's live, laugh, love. Oh, you have two more picks. I'm going to take laughter!

You know what? That's my second pick. I got love and laughter. You all can have your lava and lightsabbers. I'll be happy. You'll be... You'll be... You'll be...

I'm all pick it. Don't worry. So you're taking laughter with your next pick? You're darn right, I am. That one was at least on my list. You're telling me love wasn't on your list. Love is. Is it lava?

Because I don't think it's lava. It's lava. You know what stays hot forever? Lava. Oh. Get body love. Oh, man. That is, I think, my new favorite joke all time on this show, Mike.

Because he just inadvertently, that was awesome. That's a pro level joke right there. Very proud of you. What are you taking with lightsaber? This draft is flying by. Also, lava doesn't stay hot forever. Cool as big a lava rock.

Yeah, but it's, yeah, you're right. But it was worth the joke. I think it magma stays hot forever because that's in the earth. Save that for the M draft. Yeah. Earth science guy.

Anyone back there? Are we on that? All right. work back there. I thought Josh would jump in and give me a lava versus magma talk. So I've got my lagma is beneath the surface. It's there we go. So it would always be hot. Yeah. I've got the lightsaber and I'm also getting that sweet, sweet cash. I'm going to take the lottery. Interesting. But that doesn't mean you win. You just get to play. When I draft

the lottery, it means I own the whole thing and I win. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Now, the pick I'm going to take here is the one I thought would be your number one pick. Oh, you didn't think it would be love? No. What's wrong with you guys? I was almost 100% sure it was going to be Lamborghini. Oh, that's, it's on. Which is my pick.

It's like my 12th. It's a nice pick. I'm taking Lamborghini to go with my lava. And then I'm taking lightning. Oh, yeah. I'm taking lightning with the next pick, which means lava Lamborghini and lightning. All L words. I'm nailing this draft

I got my number one and number two picks Mike has Lightsaber and lottery Is your third one too? I bet it'll be learning Lightaber and lottery Mike Yes You're doing great

I look so far They're all words with L or that begin with L for my next pick I will take Labyrinth The movie? No No it's a great film

You want to be stuck in a labyrinth? I don't want to But I want to own a labyrinth Interesting It's a great word too It's not a huge ambition for a lot of people Yeah it's not on my list So would you like you're building a house

Is there a chance of a labyrinth Are you building a labyrinth? You better come over you'll find out. It'll be the last thing you ever see. Really? Don't you have to put

like a centaur down there? Minotaur. Oh, Minotaur. What is the difference between a maze and a labyrinth? Underground?

Because like a corn maze. I've been to corn maze. They're pretty cool. I've never been to a corn labyrinth. And I'm just wondering. Because I think it has to be underground. I don't think you can have a labyrinth above ground, can you?

Yeah, you can have a labyrinth. The movie's all above ground. It is? Yeah. Woo. Let's see how I can go. Um, yeah. Does it have to have stone?

Does it have to be made a stone? I think it's just got to be epic. Well, like, like somebody comes out to certify a place is a labyrinth and they go, no, I'm sorry, this is merely a maze. The difference,

uh, is that labyrinths have a single continuous path, which leads to the center. And as long as you keep going forward, you'll get there eventually. Oh, a labyrinth does go to the middle. Because that's where the midiator is.

A maze you go from one side to the other side. Get out. Oh, elaborate. So, like in the movie the labyrinth the king of the Goblins was in the center was that where Bowie was

must be it was a labyrinth right I only I do remember that movie but I also think of Pans Labyrinth oh also I get that because you drafted all the labyrinth

all right yeah Jason you have love and laughter dude you should drive loser All right. I'm up here. Let me look at my list.

Boring. Lame. All right. Get him. I am going to draft something that without it. He's going to try to get so cool right now. Without it, y'all, without it on your list.

You all ain't seeing nothing, nothing. Because I get light. Oh. I'm taking it all, baby. Enjoy your darkness. He does. I have lightning. Yeah, you get like a split second.

And you get your. light saber will give you a little beam. Yeah, I got a flashlight. It's basically a flash a very close proximity flashlight. You just have it out. It's basically like almost becomes like a like a blind walking stick except it destroys everything. I love that he has turned it into a battle royale where he is taking these from our worlds. Yeah. You're darn right. I have. And I'm laughing and loving it. Okay. All right. You've got light, laughter, and love. You got one more pick. Okay. Hmm. A couple, couple huge winners on my list. would you say there's leftovers

that's all that's one of oh that's on your list of course it's on my list I apologize it was in consideration no that's great I'll just leave that off now but leftovers are elite especially if you're talking pizza

or pico de gallo all right pico de gallo pico de gallo like if you're gets better when it maridates if you're making it fresh if it's not like bought but like if you create pico de gallo Right.

That was a niche take, though. Pizza? Pizza, very normal take. That's all I'm saying. Pico DiGio was super niche. I'm just saying, if you've ever made it at home. Pizza, turkey, you're like, no, pizza and pico de Gaio? It was the alliteration.

All right. I'm going to take the Eiffel Tower, the Great Wall of China, the Coliseum. Let's take a landmarks. I'm taking landmarks. I get all of them. You get a labyrinth, Mike. All of the labyrinth. I get all the labyrinth.

in the world baby and i'm pretty good loving it loving it laughing with all my light this guy's a very interesting man yeah oh my goodness lightsaber lottery and labyrinth mike you have one pick remaining oh man i think we're down to i have one that i don't want you to take i don't think i'm going to take okay okay good uh i'm looking at two characters. Oh, we haven't had any characters. Well, we're about to have one. Okay.

And I am going to go, I got to go name value, so I'm going to take Luigi. Luigi. Yeah. Okay. Jason's not impressed. Well, I was just like the number two guy for

Mario. Yeah. Okay. Sidekick. Cool. If it was the R draft, I hope he would grab Robin. You know, it's like, whoa. Do you really get Robin? superhero he's on the defensive Mike that's fine he's on the defense on the offensive yeah this is not much love or laughter over there oh lightsaber lottery labyrinth and

Luigi yeah um look I've got the coolest standby I've got the coolest team ever I don't got no love and laughter I got lava Lamborghini's lightning and I'm finishing it with lasers oh that's way bad I'm going lasers nice and uh if you want to hang out with my draft I don't blame you. It's pretty cool. I thought maybe you were going to go lava lamp. Oh, no. He's already got the lava.

You just needed to draft the lamp. What are some of your leftovers, Jason? I have lakes. Lakes are fun. Oh, yeah, yeah. Legs, very important. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Laptops?

Yeah. We're all using them. That's it. Leprocon? Okay. Lizards? I do have lizard on mine. You know what?

Most drafts, we get to the end and we say, what else do you got on your list? This one sounds so stupid. Because you get to the end and you're like, what else you got? What else? Well, L words, let me tell you. Liberty.

There's a lot of them. But there you go. That is it. What did we learn today? I learned that if this show was five minutes longer, I'd have no voice at all. I learned that Jeremy does not know how to say diphton. I learned what that is

There you go I don't remember what it was No one remembers Lighthouses The other character was Legos Was Link Oh Legolist

Oh Link would have been a better pet Yeah No it was not Luigi Goodbye Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast To see what other nonsense

The guys are up to Check out spitballerspod.com Thank you.