Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Bit Part Millionaires & A Garden Center Battle Royale - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: June 19, 2025

Spit Hit for June 19th, 2025:On today’s show, we talk about being a bit-part actor, having the best looking holiday displays, and remembering people's names. We also dole out some marital advice to a few conflicted couples. We finish things off with a draft of garden center items for a fight to the death. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason. I like this. Okay, alright. in. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr just so hard to land it. I felt like you went strong. It felt like a bit of a punch in the face. You didn't hide, you didn't shy away. Well thank you. Didn't lose any volume, didn't lose any gusto.

I knew. Maybe too much gusto even. I knew I would roll the R and then it was just. What happens? Please make a sound. Just do something. Make a sound. This is the 263rd time that we've been called

buffoons in that intro. For real? And it's really starting to make an impact. We've done that many shows. That's how many shows we've done, yeah. We are hard workers. I was just laughing at that. That is so insulting.

That's what people say when they listen to this podcast I just wonder those guys work they work hard so hard Did you hear that episode how hard they worked? I just wondered if it was starting to make an impact on your self-esteem getting called a buffoon 263 different times I've heard it zero times I'd say the I hear it sometimes but on the day that you have the scat I don't hear any of that Doesn't hear the voice Don't mess up don't mess up don't mess up make a sound make a sound

Al Borland is here Speaking of hard workers, yeah, yeah, he He does way more work than we do on this show. It's not the same quality of work that we do. He's still so... But he does more quantity-wise. He's quantity over quality. Yeah, he is. He's a real quantifier.

Yeah. Welcome in. Well, would you rather life advice? Ooh, it's been a while since we dished out so much wisdom for folks. And we're really gonna help people. As always. And then we are doing another Battle Royale.

We are strolling through a garden center of a store. You know what I didn't realize until preparing for this draft was that a garden center is where you want to go if you're looking for items for a Battle Royale. There are a lot, yes. Yeah. And this is the first time I've kinda,

I've got a little strategy going on with knowing that I'm the back to back pick situation in this draft. Now you guys could undermine it, but when we get there. You got some combos you're trying to put together. Yeah, you know, sometimes there's those video games where like, you know, two things work together to be more powerful.

And maybe I shouldn't have said any of that that was a mistake it's I don't know what you're trying to do okay good well let's start here would you rather DK from patreon says would you rather have a bit part in five movies per year or play the lead in one blockbuster hit that is loved by all but never be able to act again? Oh man that's it's a great question that is a very good I need a clarifier okay what how do you define bit part am I a bit parts like a do I have lines yeah yeah yeah yeah so am I like the uh you know some movie and then they come into the hospital I'm the doctor that just says a few things and then I walk out you've got a scene or two

But that's like a cameo to me a bit part is five lines is like Okay, let me ask Jason you're familiar with mr. Deeds the Adam Sandler movie I am NOT What any other questions? Jason, you're familiar with Mr. Deeds, the Adam Sandler movie? I am not. Womp, womp, womp. Any other questions? Okay, well just, Adam Sandler movies frequently have a bit part where. Which one are you trying to talk about from that movie? The butler.

Okay, yes, I know that movie. John Totoro, I think. Yeah, if that's a bit part, I want five of those a year. Because his whole thing is just it's the same joke Basically over and over but I mean it kills it's a really funny joke for the movie But it like he's kind of sprinkled throughout so I didn't know if that was too much on Turturro Yeah, I don't know if it's too much that he'd be called a supporting character as opposed to like I think that might be too much That's too much. Yeah, they're all saying it's too much that he would be called a supporting character as opposed to like I think that might be too much that's too much yeah I'll say it is too much okay what about in because he's when you look at the cast he's listed basically

third okay so then let's go water boy okay I've seen that one the the Rob Schneider you can do it that's a bit part now is that a bit part of that part that's a bit part okay no more than about five lines of dialogue. This says a bit part is a role in which the principal actor has no more than five lines of dialogue. There you go. Wow. I guessed five. Wow. That's incredible. Okay. So basically you get 25 lines a year because you get five bit parts. I'm doing that one. You don't know why? I'm at five red carpets a year. You know, I'm in five credits a year. I'm living the life of an actor

with very little responsibility. I am a little- Very little money. It's gotta be like one day of shooting. Is it very little money? Yeah. Five lines in five movies? I'm making enough money.

I don't know if you're making enough. It's not your full-time job. Yes, it is. Five bit parts five movies. I'm making I'm making enough money. You're making I don't know if you're making it It's not your full-time job. Yes, it is Five bit parts. No. Oh, I'm Paul. I'm a famous bit part actor Okay, so you're just saying your rate for bit parts is you're pretty high You're telling me who's the guy from waterboy that you Rob Schneider Rob Schneider. You're telling me that he's a Like he's a famous celebrity in this okay But as a famous celebrity you get a bit part you get what paid way more right? Yes, absolutely Part cameo then yes, yes

So what are you getting like like I'm pulling home? Okay? I'm pulling home five Few hundred G's a few hundred per part per part for hundred what? Not per part, for the five. All right. In totality, I think I'm pulling home probably three to 500,000 a year. I think if you have five lines in- Cause I'm gonna kill it. And they're all gonna want me. If you have five lines in a movie,

I don't think you're getting $10,000. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I don't think- Really? I think you're getting- I mean, I don't, look- Why are people wanting to be in movies? Oh, for the red carpet?

Yeah, I mean auxiliary. I'm not even gonna be able to afford the uber to the red carpet on your on your salary. Yeah, so Now the other side. Mm-hmm. You are Forrest Gump or you are ace Ventura see the way I'm looking at it is I need it to be like a gigantic hit in that would be in the sci-fi arena or somewhere. Oh, you want the conferences. I want to go, I want to live the Comic Con life. Signing autographs and meeting people that probably dress up like you. Yep, and that is one part for the rest of your life.

If you're in a, what's, oh crap. Yeah, no, you're right here. You're good to go on those. That actually, I mean, if you really think about it, I know that like, um. Firefly, is that the name of a? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so like the cast from Firefly,

they can go, I know it was a show and then a movie, but they could just go do comic cons. Forever. For the rest of their life and make enough money When you look at the movies and I know he's made a ton and done TV shows and stuff, but like realistically Michael J. Fox Right your one iconic character That you're known for forever Yeah, I mean there's not I mean if you say Teen Wolf you're not talking about the the hit of the career like

It's one great one or Aragorn from Lord of the Rings. Yes, yeah, yeah. If you had done that role. Yeah, fantasy, fantasy. I know Vigo's done other stuff, but it's like that role, if you did that and that was all you ever did. Yes. Or you were Gandalf and that's all you ever did, you could go to the Comic Cons forever.

Forever, forever. I'm switching. Charge for your autograph. Now do you? The sag day rate is a thousand minimum, thirty seven hundred for the week. That's the minimum rate. Okay. So maybe you're pulling in. I think I'm pulling in more money.

Wait, wait, wait. You just saw. That's the minimum. Yeah, that's the minimum. Yeah. What do you think that the people paying are going to want to shell out here? The maximum? Like, they're trying to to you're a bit part man

No, but you stack bit parts up and all of a sudden your agents go into these movies, and you're the desirable bit part actor They're not looking at you like the bare-bones sag bottom. Okay, so it's a bottom. Let's say five grand five grand That's only 25 grand a year exactly a lot more than No, that's the sag minimum for an extra. made the movie that's an extra right it as long as they're partisan Well, of course you you have to have a I think you'd have to have a speaking role. Yeah All right, I was I'm figuring I'm bringing home at least 25k a movie so They don't pay $25,000 for some of the same they do you

see my five lines I mean part water world I'd be rich going back to the comic-con do you get like do you look at that with with envy kind of the way where I'm talking about it or is it do you feel like that's a an unfortunate life where you would get old where you I mean if you're doing comic-con life and you're known for saying a phrase or like you're doing that phrase never give up yes never surrender everybody that's amazing you have that if you if you were that character with that name like that's your only role,

you're on the street, that's what you're called. Uh-huh. You're Marty McFly, you're not Michael J. Flags. You don't get privacy. If you're like a super revered part in a famous movie that everybody knows. Is there one that we can think of that is like this? Well, there's like one.

Where it was a one hit wonder and they never acted again wonder a one hit wonder lead You know, I the one I would think of like I Don't know who's the guy who plays William Riker from Star Trek. Oh We always have to look his name. I never know. Yeah, exactly. You know what you'd call him if you saw him on the street Riker You'd like number one. It's Jonathan Freak Jonathan Freak. That's it. So you never like you see that person he never did anything Now that was a TV show I know but it's like put it in the same school ever. Oh

What about what about if you were wharf? Cuz oh people recognize him on the street. Yeah, because he dresses up every day to make sure people know I'm the Klingon that you know question when you are that character if you're wharf and You go are you signing wharf? Yes, of course you sign Oh, right? No, you sign your name. You know what people ask you to sign, but then you probably have to put war from the quotes Cuz they don't know so so this is the wharf I Know war what a name now. I'm saying it so is the wharf I Know war what a name now. I'm saying it so many times wharf. It's kind of like the sound of dog makes

in the vomit Gone I think I'm going with the five movies per year I want want to keep it at a thousand dollars each. Because yeah, look, I'm not doing this for the money. I'm doing this for the love of the game. I love, it is fun to be on set to, and five movies a year, that means you're with different casts, maybe sometimes the same, maybe different, different movies, different roles.

You know, you play that one iconic role. I think even if you've got that Comic Con life, I think you're going to really get annoyed by it. It's like- It's possible, yeah. I don't think you're going to enjoy it. It's the same thing over and over and over. It might be really cool year one. Year 10, you're just gonna be like this. Well, you don't have to do them every year. Well, sure, but I'm just saying like that.

I've got three good examples now. Oh, okay, all right. Ralph Macchio was the karate kid and nothing else. Mark Hamill, I know it's a bunch of movies, but if you think about it, he's Luke Skywalker, and that's it, he's never done anything. He's also the Joker. He's the Joker's voice in a cartoon That's not Mike Mike stop no, but I'm but I'm known for what he's not a feature film But I'm saying in that like that was a part that you could comic-con like if he was only the Joker and McCauley Culkin

Culkin was a hundred percent of one-hit hit wonder. Now you- Good kid or whatever? Oh, the good son. The good son. Oh, gosh, yeah. What a movie. I mean, I don't know. Now, if I was McCauley Culkin, that's the nightmare. Because that was childhood actor one hit wonder.

And the rest of your life, you're trying to just be anything but the home alone kid. Like Sixth Sense Kid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Haley Joel Osmond. Osmond, yeah. He's done some other... Of course they continue being an actor but... I'd rather be Mark Hamill than I would do 5-Bit Parts a year. Yes. Because that was so high of a high esteem. Well that's the point of this question.

That is the point though, right? It is a blockbuster hit, loved by all, and you're the lead. So yeah this is... That's mark. You're you're Mark Hamill You are I'm taking that. Okay, I'm taking I'm shocked at myself that I'm gonna take the five movies, but I I really want the experience of Being on set. I agree with that. That would be fun. I just thought like Mike saying you can do the comic-con You're signing autographs, right? When you are somebody like that,

your autograph memorabilia is worth money, right? Oh yeah. Sorta, yeah. So then you can just sign your own stuff and sell your own stuff? Yes, you can. Like Pete Rose can just, like as a baseball player, you just sign your own stuff and sell your own stuff.

He's done that for? 40 years, right? Yeah, forever. But they... It's so weird if you have your own autograph is worth money. that for 40 years. Yeah, forever. But they... So weird if you have your own autograph is worth money. You could, but it's, you get, it's the guaranteed money. Cause I'm sure they're going to pay you just to show up an appearance fee and then you set your, like I've heard, um, uh, Shatner's price for like just an autograph is like, you know, over a over a hundred would you be that guy Jay would

you be the guy like no free autographs no I would I would sign free autographs that wouldn't bother me at all I would you have a very long it takes you a while to sign an autograph that's been a real burden it is because it's fine I was going to point out to you Andy as you're like you realize that you know if you could sell your own autograph you could sign your own stuff and sell it. You know we do that. We literally sell our autographs, our footballs, and your book.

I guess I meant the demand. The demand for your autograph. Like Michael Jordan, right? Like Michael Jordan's autograph on something is valuable. Now it gets less valuable if there's millions of them. That's why Pete Rose is this. Awesome, but to get to that level of a Michael Jordan. That's not one movie It's one role though

Yeah, cuz Mark Hamill sign it. I mean if you have Luke Skywalker signing your Star Wars stuff mark Hamill's not the Michael Jordan level though. He's a Michael Jordan of the Star Wars world He's he's Michael Jordan on Tatooine okay. All right, would you rather? Wait, what was your answer, Mike? Oh man. Good question. I think I'm taking the bit parts.

I don't live that life. Get to do it five times a year. That sounds fun. That's where I started, I switched over. I switched over when Jason told me that they don't pay you. Would you rather have the best looking lawn on your block year round, or have the best looking lawn on your block year round, or have the best holiday displays on the block

for Halloween and Christmas? I could care less about my lawn. Ooh, okay. That's the one I'm taking. Well yeah, but you're the old man. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Wharf.

Wharf, goodness. Swallow a frog much? That's what I'm going to say from now on whenever... Warf? Whenever I've got a frog in my throat. I've got a warf in my throat. Warf! Continue. It's easily the best looking lawn. I struggle trying to put myself in the position of these people that they go all out.

We have one house on our street. For the lawn or for the holidays? For the holiday. We have a house on our street that goes all out for Halloween, for Christmas. It's awesome. I mean, people gather. Oh, I've been there. It's the fully synced audio light show.

But then think about living in that house. Like there's always people gathered outside your house. Tuning into the radio station. Standing around watching your. That's fine. I don't know man. I don't even think you'd know. You wouldn't care.

It's not like your blinds are up and your lights are on inside and you're standing in your undies. Man, for once there should be one of those houses and the guys just dance in front of the window. Just, he just, once the eyes are on inside and you're you're blinds a man for once there should be one of those houses and the guys just dance in front of the window just He just that once the eyes are of the display Yeah, I mean that way there would be a lot of it attention. You don't want the attention You're not talking about the work to do it correct

I'm saying but people just gathered out cars always Outside my house the entire I would love that I genuinely I'd love the landscape and the lawn thing. I think that would be amazing if it just looked pristine and like you got a full time gardener. Gotta look into that. I, I. Wharf.

When I think of my front yard if it was desert landscaping with gravel. You wouldn't care? I wouldn't care at all. Oh man. You're just not really. Really? Yeah you gotta have a nice front yard, if it was desert landscaping with gravel. You wouldn't care? I wouldn't care at all. Oh man, you're just not really. Really? Yeah, you gotta have a nice front yard. Yeah.

Man, I just, I think when I drive, when I drive down the street, any street, any neighborhood, I don't remember ever once in my life being like, whoa, that long. Part of that is Arizona. Sure, that's where we live. Where when you, I have a different house in my neighborhood and they have actual grass

in the front of their house. All looks good. And every time you see the house, whoa. That house looks great, it's so sharp. But for me, I have driven, you know, the holiday seasons come around and you go driving with your hot cocoa in the car and look at light displays and sometimes I am blown away. I'm like, whoa. You ever been to one that has like a totally, like they have a great light display, but

the yard is a horrible mess. Like there's weeds everywhere. I don't think so. I think those come hand in hand. Yeah. Most people take care of their house. I would agree with that. But you're going the Halloween display.

I'm going holidays, yeah. Okay, and look, I can't get up for Halloween on the display stuff. I know people do it. They spend money, those gigantic super tall things are now all the rage. I don't know how you get those home. They must be put together.

Yeah, we've tried to. And how do you, you need a ladder. Where do you store these things? You need a gigantic ladder to get to the top of them. I built a giant Christmas tree once and I was like, the hardest part was getting high enough to put the top on. My question is, where do these, how do people have so much storage? We literally just went to a Halloween display that was like this, and it looked amazing. But I asked the guy, I said, where do you store this? And he said he had three storage units.

Yeah. And he pays yearly to store his. That makes sense. You would have to. A psychopath. That's not worth it. Yeah, but you're the house. Like when we grew up, there was one house

around the block that did Halloween. And I definitely looked at that house with incredible fun. I was like, they care. But what did it bring them? What did it cost? Every. Monthly fees year round. Mike, your final answer?

The lawn. The lawn. Yeah. Ellie from, do we got time for one more or do you wanna move on? Let's do one more. All right, do you have a preference? Nope. Ellie from Patreon, would you rather have the ability

to always remember people's names and faces or remember every book, movie, or show you ever consumed in complete detail? Oh man, I struggle with both of these. I do too. I would really like both of these options. The first one is actually there's a problem for me. I would love to remember people's names and faces, but that's not as much of my problem as anything going on in their

lives. I feel like it's almost worse. You set yourself up if you're just like I remember you instantly, but then I don't remember anything about what's going on or you're like I struggle with like these friends that I have that I don't see a lot and they all have kids. I don't remember the kid's age. A. A. Age. Age.

Age. Kids age. Age. Age. How old they are. You know, when they were born, wharf. Pfft. I can't, what a good one to mess up, right?

Wow. I don't remember their kids. How old they are. Ages, genders, or any of that. So it's like, I feel bad because I want to be like, how's little, whatever the kid's name is, doing in whatever grade they're in. But that's, I mean, that's easy. How's the little rascal? Well, yes, I can ask the question. And a lot of the times I do that. How's Champ doing? But the problem is you don't even remember if they're a boy or a girl,

and you're like, how's the little guy? Or how's the little one doing? Perfect, you've just covered your- You did solve it right there. It's not a problem. And then they're like, which one? We have twins. Who are you talking about?

Oh, the one you saw last time. The older one. So the other one is the movie show, all that stuff. I forget that stuff so quick and it actually makes me mad. Yeah, me too. I'm always jealous of Mike being able to remember every reference, every line of anything he's read or seen. You've got to mine like a steel trap.

And I hate that I don't get to remember, like, you know, we'll be watching a show, and if it's one of those, you know, comes out every week thing, I feel like I sit down to watch the show, and I'm like, what, where are we? I don't remember what's going on in this show. But I'm still happy.

I'm still happy with watching that next episode. You get to rewatch things. I get to rewatch them. I Still love movies books shows so I don't think it has a negative effect on me the when you come into contact with someone that you're supposed to know and You know, you're supposed to know this person and I don't remember their name yep and I don't remember their face that affects me that makes me feel awful and so I certainly am gonna take the ability to remember people's

names and faces over being able to rewatch movies. You have a great memory Mike. You remember movies, plots, books, things, video games? Books I don't. Okay, really? Yeah, like. I was gonna ask about the names, like, so tell me books, you know? So, yeah.

Do names and faces, are they part of it? I can focus, if I remind myself to like, you know, when you're meeting someone, doing the repetition of their name, using their name intentionally, I can remember a name, but often I just, I'm like, I don't care. So, unfortunately at that moment, and then it usually comes back to bite you in the butt.

That's the problem with the names and the faces. That is the real problem. If you don't- The truth is you don't care. The truth is you don't, that's exactly right. And when people don't- I'm sorry, I didn't, I don't remember your name, I just don't care. The truth is you don't, that's exactly right. And when people don't remember. I'm sorry, I don't remember your name, I just didn't care. That's the truth.

It's the truth, and sometimes that's excusable to a degree, right? Uh-huh. We have maybe. Yeah, they didn't care either. It's kind of one of those things where we have a higher demand on others than we do on ourselves. It's like you should all remember what's going on

in my life, but then forgive me if I forget what's going on in your life. But it does equate to a lot of people would it would translate to a I don't care about you. Yeah and the worst part and this is probably more of a me problem, but it's like on on number four or five it was like oh man I don't remember you again. Oh yeah if you if you strike out. Yeah it's like everyone can forgive it at first like oh yeah we only met one time I don't remember you again. Oh, if you strike out. Yeah, it's like everyone can forgive it at first. Like, oh yeah, we only met one time. I wouldn't expect you to remember me.

But it's like, dude, we've been getting lunch together every day for a week. You've got to remember my name. Is the reaction in those situations, do you let it go real quick? Or are you the over explainer of why you might have forgot something? Oh, I let it go and clam up. Yeah just you don't you don't go sorry yeah you

don't because it's it's really don't go into it you don't go into it oh that's right yeah I bet that's right I mean I do know this stuff about you no I just go more I don't care about hey wharf I don't care about you. Hey, wharf. Ha ha ha. Up. Spidmollers to the rescue. We're gonna do something different

on this edition of Life Advice. We're gonna have Al Borland read these out because I feel like we are kind of like the counselors, the psychiatrists, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just feel like I want Al to choose these and kind of submit them to us almost like a. Like this is like dear Abbie. Yeah, exactly, like, and I just feel like I'll to choose these and kind of submit them to us almost like a like This is like dear happy. Yeah, exactly like one of those letters. So I'll do you mind doing that for us? Perfect. Sounds good

All right. This one comes in from Jennifer I'm a bottom-up toothpaste squeezer and my husband Tom is a free-for-all squisher Our bathroom sink has become a modern art exhibit of toothpaste residue How can I nudge him to him towards a more orderly squeeze or do I have to start buying toothpaste in pairs? So any strong feelings on this? Is there any- Big time strong feelings. As strong as like toilet paper over the top feelings?

Not that strong, but it is a tier below that. Cause I- I don't, and the funny thing is, is I guess I have to imagine for you to have strong strong feelings you have to be on the bottom-up squeezer yeah there's there's you can't have strong feelings of being like doing whatever you want with it right I'm just squeezing the middle tell me how to live could you are you a I really have questions about this because I am NOT you I become you when the tube gets to a level mm I'm a free-for-all guy for the first three quarters of a tube. Because why do I have to worry about rolling it up?

I see that. So are you a first beginning squeeze? You're like getting prepped to roll the bottom? I never roll the bottom, but I squeeze from the bottom up. Every time? Every time. Interesting. I never roll the bottom, but I squeeze from the bottom up so every time every time Yeah, because the toothpaste looks so much nicer now You seem like the kind of guy that probably also then doesn't forget to put the cap on my goodness There's nothing more in I knew it. I knew it. I knew it is toilet paper level. That's where it's that's Crusts up and you either end up in a good 10 minute clean

situation, or it just ruins it. Yeah, I don't want to squeeze toothpaste that I'm going to put in my mouth out, touching the gooped up, gunked, hardened toothpaste. Yeah, because it becomes a smaller hole. In this little tiny squared toothpaste. That's covered in tears. Oh, absolutely. It's covered in nasty.

Now let me put that in my mouth to clean it. Give me a break. Now I don't think this is something that you're gonna be able to change about your husband. No, I do have some advice. But first off, the squeezing of the toothpaste and the residue, those are two different problems. That's someone not washing up afterwards.

My wife is type A, definitely squeezed from the bottom. I have gotten there. Due to being beckoned to do that? No, just, I grew up. Maturing. I grew up. Just being a grown up. She never complained?

No. Oh, okay. No grew up. Just being a grown up. She never complained? No. Oh, okay. No, we didn't have a problem. But later on in life, we got these, like a clamp for your toothpaste. And they work? Yeah, like, because you, as soon as- I've seen the clamp.

As soon as it starts deflating towards the end, you just put the clamp on, and that's what you start squeezing up. You can get all that toothpaste out. I haven't been able to support big clamp. I've been, do they actually work? Are they metal? No, it's just a little plastic thing. But it's almost more of a reminder of-

Squeeze from the bottom. Go from the bottom. Yeah, I think that could help in this situation for Jennifer. I haven't gotten the clamp because I, you know, I can do it with my hand. It's Accountable you have a built-in clamp, right? I've never had a problem getting toothpaste out of a container unless someone leaves the lid off I think there's a an answer though the most infuriating part since we just talked about so

We have I understand We have, I understand for some reason, it's impossible to find that cap and screw it back on the toothpicks. So for years, I have spent more money on the nicer fancy crest tubes is all I'll buy because it's the flip top. It's got the hinge.

It's got the hinge. You can't lose this thing. That's the key. You can't lose it. You can't lose this thing. That's the key. You can't lose it. You can't, you know, it's just, you don't need two hands to put it on. What if you lose it? Like, you don't get that one.

What if you lose the top? Oh. Are you done? Yeah, I'm throwing that tube away. Or are you trying to create a different top? No, I'm throwing that tube away. That tube's gonna be garbage. If you, you're not gonna lose it.

Or do you use like a lot, cause you're like, it's in the middle of crusting a saran wrap or something. No, toothpaste is not that expensive where I've got to create a MacGyver situation to keep the rest of that toothpaste fresh. Okay go ahead. But my my my my passion here is because I shared for years, I bought the flip top. They still can't close. Correct. They still can't close the cap. Yeah.

It's built in, it's one handed. You can do it so easy and to not do it ruins and nastifies the toothpaste. I can't get my family to do this. You need to buy the dispenser. Oh, I've tried that, yep. The one where you put the thing underneath. What, and it gives you some?

And it gives you some? Yeah, those things. Yeah, the single serve. Those things break me. Too cheap. Yeah, anyways, my answer for Jennifer, because I have lived a lot of this life, I got middle squeezers, I just got monsters.

And my children, we kind of all, our toothbrushes are in the same area, so they use the toothpaste in the same room. I have just purchased more toothpaste. I hide my toothpaste in my drawer, and it is always perfect. Now that was the solution I came up with. There's nothing wrong with that. You're gonna use the same amount of toothpaste

in your family no matter whether you have two or one. You just use it half as fast. Absolutely, it's the one area in my life where I'm like always stocked. I've got extra tubes under the seat. I didn't know you were this serious about toothpaste. I didn't either. Because to me, when you get that hard toothpaste,

it is disgusting. It's so nasty to me. Okay, all right. Let's do one more before we get into draps. All right. We'll see if Jason is as passionate about bread as he is toothpaste. Oh yeah, baby.

Oliver, my significant other insists on spinning the bread bag and tucking the end under, claiming that it's quicker. I'm all for using the twist tie as I believe it keeps the bread fresher. Our kitchen encounters have now become a twist versus tuck standoff. Please settle this for us. I've got opinions here too. Yeah. Yeah.

Is your opinion that Oliver's an idiot? Which side is Oliver on? He's the twist tie. Yeah. I mean, there's, you're not doing any more benefit twist tying than you are tucking. Exactly right. There's no air extra extra air getting in. The twist tie is not sealing all the air. The twist tie is not some special scientific invention that is made to keep air out.

It's just a little. Yeah, you can't build a submarine and then I'm just gonna put a couple twist ties on here. No, the air is. It's sealed. Arguably, the twist tie gives you an excuse to twist it less. Yes. Because you quickly get the tie on there.

Whereas when you don't use a twist tie, I twist it like a lot. Yeah, and then you tuck it under. And then I do a tuck. Yeah. There's not just the twist tie, though. There's also the claw, where it's not the twist. It's the one plastic piece. Yes.

And then you have to twist up the bread in a certain way just to make sure that it gets, and then it falls off all the time. You wanna get wild, go get a bread box, a sealed bread box if you wanna prevent every bit of oxygen. But there is one weakness to the twist and tuck. Do we know what this is?

I would imagine it's that it could come untucked. It's when the loaf gets small. Because the weight of the loaf on the tuck is significant to keeping the tuck secure I'm gonna do a full wrap when you're done with oh you wrap yeah Yeah, it's after you're down to three or four pieces you twist you tuck and you wrap it over I just tuck and wrap I used I used the twisty tie while the loaf is big because I feel like I'm not getting enough Enough closure, but we'll take just two pieces out. You got to use. Yeah the loaf is big because I feel like I'm not getting enough closure. But what- You take just two pieces out, you gotta use the twist tie.

I get that. We'll stay in the twist. That makes sense, because you don't have enough room. Exactly. After I've removed about a quarter of the loaf, then that thing's going in the garbage. I don't have time for that. There's gotta be companies that are just producing

the twist tie thing. Oh, for sure. Or just the little plastic piece, the claw. Billions sold. They don't want you to talk. Also, if Oliver, maybe you feel like you need something fancier. Let me give you an upgrade on the twist and tuck. Okay. If you want it to look nicer and not feel like it can just come undone. I don't know if either of you have done this or experienced this. Like a chip clip? No, no, it's the twist and roll

What you do is you twist the the the the excess of the bag and then you're gonna fold the the excess Back over. Yeah, that's how I do it. Okay. So yeah So you that's not a twist of tuck the twist of tuck like twist, and then you lay the bread on the excess. Oh, I see what you're saying. But the twist and roll. I fold it over. Oh, you do the roll. Yeah, nice.

I'm a twist and tuck, but yeah, there's no need for this little clip. No, it's. Human beings, we figured out how to prevent more air getting in there. I also have a 100% success rate of losing the twist tie initially. Oh, I take it off. I don't know what find it. I know where it is No, no, I mean I next all the caps to the toothpaste. I eventually find it But I'm saying it's never the first place where yeah, like I put the twist I hear no

It's no it's somehow it's on the Kishan Island, and I don't know how I think it's a toy story situation Like when you're not looking at that twist they walk off Alright one more Al All right, let's do it. This one comes in from Reggie He says in our house. I insist on writing a grocery list before hitting the store My wife feels that as it is unnecessary preferring to wing it which usually results in forgotten essentials and impulse buys Please tell my wife she is wrong. Well listen, I mean.

I can say, Reggie, your wife is wrong, but this is your life. Because I am in fact, this is how I roll. My wife. Now which one are you? You're the. I have no list. Oh my gosh, dude.

A, my wife is, again, type A, always has a grocery list. Always. And wants me to use it, but here's the problem. The grocery list is not, it's set up as you're thinking of items. It is not set up to the layout of the grocery store. So now I go and I'm checking off like the 30th item

and then I go to the next aisle and it's, oh, it's the second one. And then now I'm at the 52nd item and I'm spending all my time here at I'm wasting just crazy going through the list how do you get all the stuff she wants I eyeball it so wait when you get back and you've got half the items from the list yeah she can't be happy with you no but you know what I was at the grocery store wait is this one of those do it bad so she always does the shopping no it's I end up doing it or we do the the it's the car pickup but I'm

the one who goes does it and it's just look if I'm gonna go you live with my process and you live with my results there is no go ahead. I ever I Love and adore a grocery list. Oh It just You get satisfaction checking it off. Oh, yeah checking it off and making sure that I got everything and Number one toothpaste item number two toothpaste more importantly Making sure that it's not like if I wing it And this is the problem that that that Reggie here brought up when I wing it I Buy so much more stuff. That's a hundred percent the time because I'm looking at I like that

I walked some surprises. Yeah, so like My wife is a winger. She, and if she doesn't have a list, she's coming home with two grocery carts. And it's stuff that is just so delicious and good and bad and awful. So you're a full lister, you're a no lister, Mike. Right.

I'm actually right in between where I think, I just want a couple of the core important things that I'm potentially gonna forget, I write down. And then the rest of it, I'm like, I kinda know we probably should get, in my opinion, this is what I always tell my wife, I'm like, if you get a little bit more of something that you don't know for sure that we have, we'll be fine.

If you don't get it, we might be out of it. So I always wanna have a little bit extra. Like you're not sure we have milk? Maybe just get a little bit more milk. Yeah, I'll get that. And then we'll drink it. I promise, I'll drink it. I'll eat extras if you get it.

So very interesting. Yeah, Al, out of curiosity, are you a lister? I'm, excuse me, kind of in your camp, I- Wharf! Wharf, thank you, wharf. I'm Excuse me kind of in your camp. I warf Thank you warf. I I like to show up with a list, but I love to impulse buy as well So I'm a hybrid. Yeah, don't don't take the impulse buying away that look we act like oh We're being suckers to the marketing. Yeah, and it's fun. It's delicious If I'm a sucker to the marketing, it's a delight now. I would be the lowest per hour Instacart employee that they've ever hired because finding things in a store

and doing any of that competently, I might be the worst on the planet. To Mike's point of like, the list, it actually is stressful because I'm gonna bounce all over the store, I'm gonna go in order of the list, I'm gonna ask the employee 52 times where stuff is, and I can't find stuff in stores. I just can't, and I guess you memorize it eventually, right? Yes.

That's my problem, I go to different stores too often. Oh, you gotta pick one. You gotta find your home base. That's the problem. I don't have a home base. And it's not even, like we, I shop at Fry's. We have, that's kind of one of our chains here, but you have to go to the same one.

Oh yeah, for sure. Because Fry's to Fry's, they're laid out differently. I don't know what we're doing here. Some of them are real. Just lay them out all the same. Yeah, and they're- I need to know where I'm going. There's a war that can go on.

Like in my household, there is a war. We live on a corner where one corner is Fry's, and then Kitty Corner is in Albertsons. And I got used to Albertsons. That's where I got. And it's a little closer for you. You don't have to cross the whole intersection. Right. But my wife loves the fries. That's what she likes. And so it's really become a situation where I hate that fries. I hate it now. Oh, because it represents. And

Albertsons is the right place to go you know what I mean? That's why I know where the yogurt is there I don't know where the yogurt is. So does she say go to fries and grab this sometimes? Oh she wants me to go to fries which is so foolish. Do you ever? Classic marital dispute. Have you ever done all your shopping at Albertsons or did you say Albertsons? Or did you say Albertsons? Yeah, he's the Albertsons guy. But then just put all the stuff into Fry's bags? No, I don't want to support that.

I would do the opposite. If I went to Fry's and bought something, I wouldn't want her to know I gave in. All right, let's draft. The Spitballers Draft. All right, Mike, you have the first pick in our Garden Center Battle Royale. We've all been in those garden centers.

I actually missed them. Some of the stores around here, like Target used to have a garden center. I feel like the garden center is always outside. It's mostly outside. And then you're just like, I can't go out there. It's too hot. Target used to have an outdoor garden center. always outside. It's mostly outside. And then you're just like, I can't go out there, it's too hot. Target used to have an outdoor garden center.

They did. Oh, for years. It was my sneaky way to get in and out of the Target with no line. Yeah, smart. You'd go in there and then you'd bring your normal goods out to the garden center and check out there, even if you didn't buy garden center stuff.

Real sneaky. And you can do that at Walmart right now. Walmart has a garden center, much lower lines. Because you always feel. And you park by the garden center, which no one parks by. Absolutely. You get closer parking and it works, but the reason it works is because you feel like you're not allowed to buy. You can't check out milk at the garden center, but you can. Should you sneak one garden item in? I usually do, yeah. I needed this. Another shovel, sir.

That's why I'm here. All right, Mike, you get the first pick. And again, we are battling. We're in a full war. We're in a war. We're trying to kill each other. So I have learned from my esteemed colleague the value of a spear type of a weapon.

Oh, it's the most powerful weapon. That's what I've heard, especially when you're fighting boars. But I am going to take, I don't know if I have to specify what kind, but I'm just going to take a tree pruner. A tree pruner, which is essentially a stick, and then there is a big blade on the end of it.

It's a saw. It's a spear. It's a saw on the end of a giant pole. That's great. It's good. I will say this. I've bought a few of those in my day. And sometimes they'll all bolt on the end. Al might know that. It gets a little loose and then the blade just bends over itself. So you might just have a stick after a little while. Well, that's still useful for me. Yeah, no, that's good.

Also, I mean, I'm not trying to take care of my foliage with this. You're not severing or ironing slowly with a saw? Also, I mean, I'm not trying to take care of my foliage with this. I'm just simply- You're not severing our arms slowly with a saw? No, this is a stab from distance type of a situation. All right, tree pruner. All right, I like that. I like the distance.

Distance is always going to be important in these battles, but you start with power. You start with the ability to just mow you down. I'm taking a chainsaw. I mean, how is that not the number one pick? There's chainsaws? No, there's not. There's no chainsaws in the garden center. There's no chainsaws in the garden center?

It is on the Home Depot's garden center. Yeah, I mean, then you're just bridging this gap. I mean, Al can make the decision. I took that off my list on purpose. Okay, Al, what's the ruling here? I mean I never saw a chainsaw at a garden center at Walmart. Yeah there's chainsaw type things that I think are you could easily take. I knew you were going to do this. I knew it 100%. If you want it you can have it. We're going to overrule it. Oh. Okay. All right. Denied. All right, well, get ready to keep overruling.

All right. I'll take a broadsword? What do you mean there's no broadsword? I'll follow that with a machine gun. OK. This is where I've seen them sold. But if you want to overrule it because it's too powerful, that's fine.

I would take, if allowed, a pressure washer. Is that in a garden center? Unfortunately, I wish I had given you the chainsaw. Yeah, because you wanted the pressure washer. It was part of my magical combo. Oh, good, that's what you get. Oof. That bit you in the butt.

Yeah, the pressure washer, that thing is, I mean, you could really hurt someone with that. Push enemies back with it, even if it's not pain. Like, you keep them back. I'm not running up to you with a pressure washer on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm going full like that tiny little bead. Oh, you're trying to bore a hole through us?

Oh, absolutely. I'm cutting you with this water. Get someone in the face with that? Who? I mean, I feel like then I need a shield for that pressure washer. Yeah, you're going to want to get that metal garbage can. I'm devastated, because I had a whole plan.

I was going to combine that pressure washer. The plan is in shambles. I mean, I was combining it with some serious, hardcore chemicals. Yeah. I was going to put the pesticides in it, and that was going to be my start. Now I've got to start all over.

Good. Thanks for overruling my chainsaw, Al. It was a fair overrule though. Yeah, it was. Honestly, it was at the bottom of my list because I thought it was probably not gonna fly. It was on the edge. But then I was like, I'm just gonna take it first.

It went to the top real quick. We have done a hardware store battle royale. That's where it gets a little, that's where it's tough. And Al, you're the, you get to be the official over ruler of these things. I'm just gonna, look, you both have some significantly troubling items for my battle. Mike, you got the tree pruner.

I'm just gonna have to take some brute force here and I'm just gonna take a shovel. Oh, it's a great, it's on my list, yeah. And we're not talking like a little hand shovel, to be clear, just a normal shovel not not the flat top No, no, not a snow shovel. This is the regular because a snow shovel. I get it I know that like in home alone is very useful. He takes them out. It's just not as long-range like a snow Warf

So I'm gonna take a just a standard shovel all right for my second pick I'm gonna take just a standard shovel. All right. For my second pick, I'm gonna take a bag of River Rock. Oh! I thought about this late, it was at the bottom of my list, but I actually think at this point, look, I've got a giant bag of River Rock. Those are the kind of stones you can skip.

You know what I mean? So I'm hurt, I could throw them at you. Yep. So that's range. So I'm gonna go with that. That's good That's good. I you know my next thing on the top of my list is very very similar I won't be able to throw it as far but I'm gonna hurt you a lot more. I'm taking a pallet of pavers Okay, you know

So tired throwing those out of brick. Yeah. Yeah bricks. Maybe is throwing those at us? Throwing bricks, yeah. Bricks maybe is more visual. No, but they're pavers. Yeah, pavers, I mean, they're just like, they're brick size, but they're a little fancy. You know what I mean? They just look a little nicer when they hit you.

Interesting. But that was- Octagon shape. A pallet of pavers. We gotta come to you in that way. That's more of a defensive. Yeah, well- Because you're not, you can't bring the paver to me. Oh, sure I can. You're telling me I can't use- No, you can bring the paver to me. Oh sure I can.

You're telling me I can't use. No you can bring one paver. That's what I mean. Oh I just meant the pallet is gonna be in a stationary location. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I just wanna have enough to throw but I will eventually grab one of these and run after you.

Yeah that makes more sense. So blunt, you can blunt force it. This is just. Maybe you get close and you throw it. Yeah, you know it's kinda like brass knuckles. I'm collecting them. I'm collecting them and I'm making a nice path to my home base. Okay, very beautiful because these aren't bricks

these are pavers yeah all right Mike you have a couple of picks all right so I've got my my pole arm and the device I thought Jay you might just pivot to it but I will take a hedge trimmer which is basic chainsaw which is basically a chainsaw but it is used for gardening situations. And then I'm going to follow that up. So this isn't, that is allowed? I mean, I'm sitting here going, hmm, really? Oh, okay. Well, because technically when you go into a garden center, you don't see them there. You have to go into a hardware store to buy it. You never see them outdoors.

So I think if you're thinking of an outdoor garden center, I think you might have to omit it. I can move on. It was also drafted in our hardware store battle. Okay. So we don't want to cross over. And I'm not seeing it on walmart.com's garden center. So I think we're going to overrule that. I think it is. It's literally a chain saw.

Yeah. But for hedges. For bushes. No, you're going's good to make up. Yeah. But for hedges. For bushes. No, you're going to have to move on. That's fine. I will take, then I will start here with my aerator spiked shoes. OK.

I know what you're talking about. I have no idea. Yeah, they make those shoes that you see. Imagine cleats, but they're just nails. So you can walk through your lawn and aerate it. I actually think that's a real problem for you, nails. Yeah, so you can walk through your your your lawn and aerate it Okay, I actually think that's a real problem for you Mike Yeah, how do you wear those? I don't think I've ever seen anybody walk on non grass with those where we were in the store No, yeah, we're fighting in the store. All right. Well, I'll be on the side

If you do if you catch us sleeping, sleeping, you stand on our bodies, that would be painful. I'm doing jump kicks, roundhouses. Maybe you have one on and you hop around. What's funny is if you aren't on grass, like cleats. Oh, I will fall. When we played in a flag football league, it always blew my mind how I could barely walk to the grass field if I was in cleats from the car cuz I'm like sliding around and I've

got no grip on the ground so that that'll be a that'll be a good time for you all right Mike you've got some sliding shoes that's fine I picked roller skates I would if I could and then so Andy what did you you took the the rocks I took the bag of bag of rocks and a shovel. Okay, so then I will take the weed killer then. I will take the pressurized squirt bottle of poison. Yeah, you're gonna have to pump it a little bit, right? Yeah, that's all right.

Okay. That's all right, I'll be on the ground. Yeah, I was gonna take it towards the end if it snuck back to me. So you get some weed killer. Poison! I don't know how damaging that is. I don't know if it snuck back to me. No, so you get some weed killer twice I don't know how damaging that is. I don't know if you're giving me slowly for me. Well, I just meant like I might get slow-formed Cancer out. Yeah, 20 40 years from now. No, you'll die a winner of the battle royale Yeah, you get that thing in your eyes your toast. I'm sure it can blind a person

Yeah, so you're doing one way to find out we'll have to do this battle Yeah, all right, Jason. You're back on the clock. You have the pressure washer which Will let you have yeah because we have to move past didn't realize that that snuck through the same way the others did All right, so I've got the pressure washer We've got a lot of things. I we can hurt. I think he needs the pressure washer that has the pump. I don't think it can be powered. Well if it's powered then he is, I mean he's stuck to the wall. If he's powered he bought it in the store.

You know the powered ones have a really long. He has to have the one where you push down. That's not a pressure washer. I didn't buy an insecticide spray can. Oh yeah, that's an insecticide spray. All right, so. Yeah, that's what I have. Yeah, that is true.

All right, we've got some things. Even with a long cord, if there's what I have. Yeah that is true. Alright, we've got some things. Even with a long cord, like if there's an entire garden center that I can go around, we can be safe from the pressure washer. Yeah, but eventually you're gonna have to come to me. Eventually. No, you're gonna have to come to me with my shoes on. I can't make it to you. We're just gonna be on our own islands. This is the game where you all set up the bases and no one fights each other Yeah, get over here chicken. Yeah, yeah, that's what it is

Be spraying water, but it's just gonna be rain. Oh, yeah That's it will be rain spot all right Misting me we've all got things that can hurt each other, but there's a battle to death Eventually we gotta have something just like I gotta gotta finish the deal. There's a killer. This is a murderous device. I'm getting head shears. Yeah. I'm just getting giant knives.

I don't know. Giant scissors. Yeah, that'll be some work still. Oh yeah, but stabby. Oh yeah, stabby. No, they're good. Hedging shears is good. They're very stabby.

They're stabby and cutty. So I, look, my last two picks, I'm gonna take some garden netting. Oh. Okay. I'm gonna take some garden netting. I feel like a trap. Set traps, you know. Set some traps. And then I'm gonna,

my last resort here after the garden netting, look, maybe I wanna see you kind of battle it out before I emerge to take on the winner. And that's why I'm drafting a wheelbarrow. I'm getting underneath it. I'm going to turn. I'm turtling up. You're I'm turtling underneath the wheels. Oh, yeah. It's upside down. I'm under the wheelbarrow. I'm going to quick quick as I can, put one paver at a time. I'm gonna trap you under there and I'm gonna starve you out. My pallet of pavers. You're putting the pavers on top of my wheelbarrow, no!

I'll see you in two days. I can't lift it! That's right, lift a pallet of pavers. No! Turtle, die turtle. That is the perfect scenario. You could go for a long walk with each paver and set them on top of my turtle shell.

And you think you're being so clever. My turtle shell. Let me see if one of them is dead. Are you guys still fighting out there? Guys? Yeah. All right, so Andy's a skeleton. I can also move bodies off the battlefield easier.

That's true. With the wheelbarrow. And you can just have a lot of fun. Wheelbarrows are a ton of fun. Was that your... That's it. I'm done. Shovel, bag of rocks, garden netting for traps, and a wheelbarrow to hide under. Great. I'm surprised this made it this long. I probably should have taken it earlier myself

because I think your shovel's a good pick. I really do. Oh, there's a, yeah. But there's a better version of, like, for a fight of a similar product, and that is the metal rake. The rock rake. The rock rake is pretty great. Because now I've got more impalers. It's not as weighty. Yeah, you got impalers. And spikes at the end of this thing.

This is my spear. My spear is just curved at the end of this thing. This is my spear. My spear is just curved at the end. Sure. So I will take the metal rake. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. All right, so. Is that my last one? But you do have a risk,

because if you set it up against the wall, and you step on it the wrong way, you could hit yourself in the face. You never wanna, yeah. That is, it's a huge risk. It's a risk. I'm willing to take. Mike finally walks all the way way, you could hit yourself in the face. You never want to. Yeah, that is, it's a huge risk. Mike finally walks all the way over to you, and that rake is sitting there, and he steps on it with his aerator shoes.

All right, one final pick, Mike. I'm going to keep my bio warfare going, and I just need something that I can toss, like some pocket sand toss in your face except it's poop boys Take it some fertilizer. Yeah, you're gonna dial stinky Alright so you're gonna throw some manure on us That's right or trick us into like you get back I'll give you bags of maneuver as many as you want no perfect so you can build them up like sandbags

But you're all but then your base is stinky? Yeah. Stinky base. Also, when you throw it at us, realize that you don't have to hold it. Yeah, you have to hold it. No, I understand. We're all dying stinky.

Jason has a pressure washer that he got away with, pallet of pavers, hedging shears, and gravel rake. Mike has a tree pruner, air raider spiked shoes, a weed killer sprayer, and a bag of manure. I've got a shovel, some rocks, gardenetting, and a wheelbarrow. I have one that I really wish I would have taken. One honorable mention that I had at the top of my list

and I just kind of forgot to use, which was tiki torches. Ah, yeah. It's on my list as well. So having the fine, you know, some improvised, it's a club. And they sell metal ones. Yeah, but it would also like, there'd be fire.

Yeah. And I don't know if that manure lights on fire, but we could give it a shot. I don't know, it won't light, but it'll blow up. OK. If you get some, get enough detonation going on. I had a thing called a tamper. Oh, yeah, the flat bottom.

The flat bottom thing, yeah. I didn't know what it was called. It's the level ground down. Yeah. Trellises, maybe as barricades. Some sort of a. All right. Got a hose.

Yeah. Sure. Use it as a whip. Or a noose. Oh. Oh, yeah. Dangerous. Or help connect my pressure washer.

Yeah, yeah. It will lose pressure. There you go. Yeah, let us know if we forgot anything. I think we did pretty good. I don't know if I'm gonna be surviving this one, but. I'm pretty confident I win this fight. I think Jason wins it.

Cause he stole something from the hardware store. What did we learn today? I think Jason wins it because he stole something from the hardware store What did we learn today? Oh, I learned what a tamper is I learned that apparently not every actor makes a lot of money and I relearned my hatred for dirty toothpaste. Yeah, you did. We learned that about you Yeah, but you're very passionate. Passionate man. Squeeze it the right way is what you've always said. And cap it. That is today's show. Thank you for listening. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.