Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Castle Cravings & The Worst Animals To Be Reincarnated As - Spit Hits! - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

Spit Hit for March 20th, 2025:Today’s show is so educational. Don’t miss it! We discuss architecture, textiles, trains, and so much more. We also draft the worst animals to be reincarnated as. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike and Jason. Skitty skat rickety rat boobadooboo. Boobadooboo. Yeah. Boobadooboo indeed. Oh I'm red. I like that.

That was a full surprise to me man. You get one shot. Yeah. Do not miss your chance. Don't throw it away. Welcome in. I got an 8 out of 10 from Al Borland. Yeah, do not miss your chance throw it away. Welcome in I got an eight out of ten from my Al Borland. Yeah, I like that Little non-traditional ending. You gotta get you got a clothes strong and boobity-boop

It's gonna get it done. Welcome in. This is episode 250. Oh 250 50 to 50 Welcome in would you rather what's the difference and we are drafting The worst animals to be reincarnated as on today's show which should be very interesting Yeah, there's some body some animals there's some choices out there that You know if you're rolling the dice so to speak you wouldn't want it to land on well we'll get to it but and then there's ones I mean we're not I guess we'll eventually maybe we'll do the other draft so I can't even hint at that but the best

yeah there I mean there's some animals I'd really love to give a give it a go absolutely we would just draft non-stop Hawks Is just like what bird do you want to be the bald eagle the coolest bird in the world the California condor I think the condor is the largest. Yeah I don't want to be that I want to be the it's on my list for today I want to be the Hawk that does the dive bomb where you're going like over a hundred miles an hour Yeah, or like a Falcon. Yeah, you can go really fast. I don't remember what I need a coolest bird draft You're looking at the old condo I had no idea that I mean that face is

Wrong. It's just alright. I'm on it. Yeah. No, I mean that face is wrong. It's just alright. I'm on it. No, I mean No, I just knew that oh, all right, but their face is inappropriate That is yeah, my Google filter is blocking it Say it blurs the face of all the condors. Yeah. Yeah, you do not want to Google, California condor Safe searches on yeah Welcome in Yeah, I thought this was a big you like you liked the wingspan you had heard about yeah You didn't realize they had such a I would not want to live with that. Mm-hmm

Yeah face that uh, but only a mother could love. I don't think a mom's loving this No way. No, that's uh What it got in wingspan and why it made up for an ewe I mean, this is terrible audio. I realized that but everyone's yeah pull out your phone be safe But just you gotta look at this California contour. It's gross, man You did a quick quick swap there Now you know why it's in the draft today. Oh man. I know what the 101 is in the list All right, let's get going

Would you rather Would you rather? I can't get past it. I can't get past it. Ear holes just opened to the world. Just cavities. They're like, do you want some ears? Nah. Just put a hole here.

Should we cover that up? No. What should we do with your neck? Ah, you don't want to know. You don't want to know what we're going to make your neck, dude. Oh, man. But you'll be able to fly. Yeah, yeah.

Some trade-offs. And that's the key. Get it to a distance where you couldn't make out its face. Our chat is just blowing up with pictures of these California condors, and it's bad. It's got a up with pictures of these California condors and it's BANGED! It's got a very smooth neck. Um, man, uh, we're into a segment now, right Al? How are you doing today?

I'm doing great, thanks for asking. Noah from the website, would you rather only be able to clean yourself by jumping in a lake, so no soap or shampoo. You just jump in and get out? Just on Notcherell. You can swim around, scrub if you want, but- Oh, you can, but just no soap, no you just jump in and get out just on natural you can swim around scrub if you want but oh you can but just no soap no shampoo jump in a lake is it really scrubbing I think I mean I think you get a little bit of dirt off or have full access to soap and shampoo but only be able to clean yourself using your hands in a two gallon bucket of clean water

so so we've got a we've got to deal with one issue first. Leaches? Okay two issues right like clearly leaches is up there but I was thinking so we live in Arizona and there is actually a lake but it is it's a ways away so it's like well you got those community park lakes you can go to. Are those lakes? Yeah, those are lakes. They're manmade lakes. Are they, but what's the water situation in there?

It's very shallow. I wouldn't jump in from a high distance. And then they keep fish in there, so it's not just nasty water. I'm just saying, if you don't wanna drive up to Lake Pleasant. It's also public. There's a problem with public bathing.

You'll have to go swimsuit. I'd say for this question, Lake Pleasant is in your backyard. You can just go outside in your backyard and jump in Lake Pleasant. But you have to deal with the temperature of the lake. You're also gonna smell. I mean, lakes smell.

You get out of lake water, you smell. Yeah, no, you're not wrong. Are there lakes that don't smell? I mean, Lake Tahoe doesn't smell. Okay. Because it's so deep and pure. But most lakes, you're going to come out smelling like a lake. Hey Michigan boy, how about the Great Lakes? Are they stinky up there? Yeah. Is it a great stink? There's some stink up there. What? Yeah. Because things grow in lakes. Is it the sea life? Or not sea, but the lake life? Is it like the fish? Are they sea life or not see but the lake life is like the fish

Are they making it smell up there? No idea the fish and the bacteria and algae and the moss and the You ever been to there's your legs up north and the urine Not just from us, but from the fish. They'd be peeing. Yeah, of course. Where are they supposed to go? Yeah, they don't I mean They don't have a spot But um, so you're gonna smell like a lake a little bit the bucket of water thing Where are they supposed to go? Yeah, they don't. I mean, they don't have a spot. So you're going to smell like a lake a little bit. The bucket of water thing, I think I'd go with that one. It's not two gallons.

I could get it done. I think I could get it done. I'd have a habit. And once again, we'd be talking about you get your pits in your privates and you're moving on. Yeah. I think this is actually a pretty easy answer You're going buck. Yeah, you got to go buck it

You got to go soap and if you just have a rag just as clean water no rag The question says just your hands that is true. All right fine But I just use my hands anyways. Yeah, but you have an endless supply of water. That's correct rub your hands Yeah, that comes out at water pressure that I don't have to pour on myself. Exactly. So that makes the hands a little harder, because I'm thinking of rag, you dip it in there and then you're fine. Let me ask you this. Let's say you have the two gallon bucket of water. I'm thinking about process here. I'm going to want

personally, some sort of final splash. Yes. So I'm going to have to conserve water up until the final. That's what I think about it. And you go over the top of the final splash. Yes, absolutely Really? Yeah in the in the hair and everything The problem is is the final splash if you you know if you miss if you haven't really you're gonna be soapy all day Well, I do we get soap Oh full access to soap ship. Okay, so that way you're like you got soap scum

Just so residue not scum. I don't know why that, that's commercials coming out. It's still the way to go, I'm taking the bucket. Yeah, for sure. Okay, John from Patreon writes in, you now have free travel for life. All right. Which, I just brought this up the other day,

there was a guy that bought a all time pass in the 80s and it's two round trip tickets for free on any flight ever and he's flown for like 35 years taking people with him, going to lunch in Hong Kong and coming back that night. First class, so free travel for life, but you must choose. Would you rather have unlimited air travel, but sitting coach in the very back of the plane, or unlimited bus travel via a private luxury tour bus?

Oh, Kimco, I'm taking that bus, baby! I am in the camp. That's a long time though, man. You're not going internationally, clearly. I mean, that you've chosen to go domestically to your destinations of choice. So you lose that. Well, some of it.

You can't go to like Europe, but go to Canada. You can go down to South America. If trains were renewed as a form of transportation in this country, and it was Hogwarts Express style, I get a cabin. I want to be in a plane or a train that gives me a cabin. Yeah, give me a cabin Well, you just got it. It's a luxury bus. It's a am I driving it? No, no, you don't know I'm going with the bus Yes, of course because like imagine this okay, so the downside is speed right the downside Yeah, we're wanting to go?

You know, if I go to California, that's easy. Let's take accidents out. But let's say, okay, the problem is speed. I want to go to Florida. We're in Arizona. It's going to be a lot longer. Do you want to know what just happened on my trip? It got better.

It got better. Did it? Yes, because I'm on a luxury cabin bus. Would you like to guess how many hours of driving it takes to get from Arizona to Florida? I'm going to guess 21. I'm going to go more than that. 33. Yeah.

Sounds like I got 33 hours to party. That's a long time, man. You're going to get bored domestically. I Think you're gonna be we're gonna be sitting coach in the plane Yeah, hitting up Europe for free just for fun to go get some beignets or something over in France So you're saying you want an international trip to get a beignet sitting squished next to two people want the option? Yeah, and if you're going to Florida you can go to Louisiana and get yourself a beignet, see you in like a week. Florida is what, like a three and a half, four hour flight? Yeah. Dude, just knock it out. I mean, coach. You're saying you can kind of, you think you can get some habits, like flight habits that would

make coach more tolerable? Yes. Yeah, I mean, look, I have- The back of the plane's bad, right? No. The back of the plane is fine. The back of the plane is fine. It's just you have to wait forever once you've taxied and everyone's getting out of the plane. It's like an extra 15 minutes on the plane.

Oh, that's right, yeah. But that's whatever, but you're right by the bathroom, which- That's a downside, bro. No, see, in most cases, I think that's that's better mmm until someone yes sides to have themselves a emergency land someone shouts I'm gonna wreck it yeah steps into the bathroom is that what they say now that's what you have to say you're required to say that you gotta let you

gotta let the back of the plane know what to happen. That's like that guy that went in that home deep. Yeah, I'm fixing to blow this place up. And he got arrested. I got called. Was that ever on is this real life for the show? Uh, I think we talked about it, but I don't think it was on that. Just a quick, uh, summary. There was a gentleman that made a comment going into a home depot bathroom that he was about to blow this place up. I'm fixing to blow this up. And he meant he was going to wreck the toilet and the police got called as a bomb threat. Yeah. Which is just... And Home Depot did not press charges. Oh man, good for them. Which is an important distinction. I'm glad. But some of the patrons in the bathroom with them did press charges

due to the flights. Give me the due to, yeah. Um, so I need a little bit of clarity on the luxury bus because in my mind, what I saw is like what, um, it's got the Taj Mahal driving down the road. Well, you know what, like bands, uh, when, when they're, it's one of those oversized buses. Yeah. But inside it's not just a bunch of seats, right? No.

This is like... There's a lay down, you can go to sleep, you can watch Netflix. Yeah, okay. On your Starlink. Yeah, there's a party. Now does the... That would be nice.

But I think the way that I know a tour bus is like the beds are just like the stacked little nooks. This isn't a giant mattress in the back. If I get to design. Like an RV. If I get to design the interior of this bus, then I'm taking the bus. I'm sure that they exist.

Yeah, I've got a king bed. It's a tough call. Right in the middle, but it's round. I would take trains everywhere. If I got a cabin. Yeah. And I got fed food. Like what happened?

What happened to this world? Trains were cool. Yeah. And I got fed food. Like, what happened? What happened to this world? Trains were cool. Yeah. You know what else was cool? Architecture. We don't do that anymore either. Yeah. I'm seeing Al shaking his head.

I'm with you on that. Because he's thinking, you know what? I want a building to look cool. Because why? Because I mean, it should. Not because it's cheap, because I want to make it look cool. Yes. I'm with you on that one.

And I want to take a train to go see that building. You can't. Trains still exist. Why? They do. Oh, yes, they do. Tell me where I could take a train here in Arizona. OK, actually, you can't take trains here. AZ train station.

But it. Amtrak stations in Arizona. Looks like we have several. Is it not with cabins? Amtrak, is that? That's nice. That's like I think there's nicer Amtrak trains. I don't know what's the choo choo sound like. Do we get a real authentic choo choo on those or is it more of a. You see that's more of a diesel. Yeah that's the I'm not. I want some magic here. I want the Hogwarts Express taking me places. Well trains do look different than that now. But I'm telling you they're available. Someone tell me why you can't do this in a plane. Do which? Because I know we're trying to stuff as

many people in the cabin and make it a four-wheel drive. Oh you can't, you certainly can't. Have you not seen like the Dubai planes? The whole plane should just be cabins that you buy. Sure. Like a cruise ship. Yes and they could do that but your seat is going to be I don't know what $20,000. What if we make the planes as long as trains are? I mean that would take runways to a new level. I mean Howard Hughes tried that right? Hmm yeah. Old what Spruce Goose? Just a little disappointed in our lack of sophistication nowadays. Yeah. We can't appreciate nothing. Yeah. Cause they got to make, I'm going to

grow up. We got to make that money. Now I'm gonna build a cool building. You're going to grow up and then that's what I do when I grow up. You're going to build a cool building. Yeah. That people are going to be inside. I'm gonna probably have to make it like an old church because that's what all the cool architecture was. They are very nice. There's a lot of churches. Yes. They were just like, you know what? I'm going to make it nice. I don't know. Maybe a castle. We don't do castles anymore. Yeah. Why don't we do castles? That's another problem I have with this world. Justin, add it to the list.

The U S has a severe lack of castles. I mean, we've've got a we do have like the 1% should all be building castles That would at least be architecturally cool cuz we know they got the money to do it Yeah, I would really appreciate some like just just near me where I can go. Yeah, look at that castle with a moat I don't get to live there, but I'll be there The drawbridge comes down so the door dash can arrive. Oh, you're falling like I'm talking about a moat. I don't get to live there but I can just... Show me that castle! The drawbridge comes down so the door dash can arrive. Oh you're full of like a moat and everything. Yeah. Yeah you don't do a castle without a moat, Mike. Are you an amateur? I mean what is this guy? I've never heard of a castle. Sometimes they're up on a mountain. Hey Jason what's in the moat? Alligators and water. Thank you very much. I'm aware of what is

in the moat. I'm not sure you were I'm going to medieval times the mode is where I clean myself by the way oh perfect although that's dangerous all right spitty city from patreon to keep someone from getting to you would you rather there was a mountain high enough or a valley low enough or a river wide enough oh that's that's clever. I see what they did. Okay. What is? A mountain high enough, a valley low enough, or a river. I'm gonna take the river. Now someone explain to me the benefits of a valley being too low. There's no benefits there. Other than the fact that would they also have to go up the other

side of the valley. Well that that's hints making it a reverse Mountain yeah, it's just an upside down mountain But it's actually way worse because on the mountain if you know I presume I'm up at the top yes of course yeah So they got to go up, but on the valley you gotta go down and up It's twice as far well I assumed on the mountain you're on the other you gotta go down and up. It's twice as far. Well I assumed on the mountain you're on the other side of the mountain. Well then you gotta go up and down. And then you gotta go up and down.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Okay. They're gonna get more sunburn on the climbing of the mountain. Yeah, that UV will get you. That helps. We learned about that. So my enemy will eventually die of skin cancer

20 years down the line. See, I wanted to take the mountain so that I would live upon it. Yeah. But you're telling me this is just in the way. The high ground would be nice, yeah. I mean, a river, it's a moat. Like, this is getting you guys what you want.

The river wide enough is uncrossable. That's... I don't think you can get across the river. Well, if they have a boat. Well, okay. I think they're doing it just with ease. I didn't know they got a boat, man. What, do they get, like, a helicopter for the mountain too? Well if the mountains high enough the helicopter

won't work. Air is too thin. River wide enough is my final answer. Now I think they're drowning. So let's set the rules it's just a person it's a using their physical limitations. Yeah it's like basically Mike if I said I'm gonna get you. Yeah and then moment, you take off, I count to like, I don't know, 100? And then when I come after you, there's either a river wide enough, a mountain high enough, or a valley low enough.

The valley's out. The valley's just, it's out. Plus they can get down one side of the valley just like. Pretty easy. They just roll. Yeah. Wee! Just do somersaults?

No, not somersaults, they're lying sideways. Remember you did when you were a kid, and you roll down a hill? Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeee eeeee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee eee level of disorientation I would have at the bottom of that hill and injuries and your allergies You'll just be sneezing Yeah, it's got a kid was cool. It's got to be the river If it's just a person like you could take as much time to go across a mountain as you know out other than starvation or whatever if it takes days But you can't just take days to cross a river. No, it's not you know You have to be able to swim and keep swimming or you go. You're just gonna drown. Yeah with a little current You're done by the way

I feel like there was a disproportionate amount of kids movies that I watched growing up where the main challenge in the movie was some sort of like raging river with a with a like waterfall at the end of it I feel yeah in movies there well every river has a waterfall nearby in movies nearby yeah I mean I we grew up near the same time and I don't remember well you had cable a disproportionate of my amount of my movies Jonathan Taylor Thomas movie The out in the wild man of the house it is this one. Oh, no, no It's really disappointing me Mike that you would I just gave you a movie you gave me a Tim Allen movie wild America. Thank you Okay, that was wonderful. There was a river in that

Homeward bound guess what? Oh river of course and what about a river runs through it all waterfalls. Let's see You were watching more advanced movies than I was as a kid Also, I looked it up because I needed to know Geologists and the Oxford English Dictionary report that a mountain is at least 2,000 feet Must saw so so there's some like 1900 foot hills that aren't feeling all insecure next to their mountain buddies? Yes. They didn't make it up to be a full big boy mountain. Oh, that's disappointing. But I mean 2,000 feet, that's a lot of climbing. So you could convert a hill to a mountain if you brought in some first movers? Yeah, there's the Hugh

Grant movie. What? The Hugh Grant movie. There can't be a movie without a plot there is no there's yeah a hill a mountain went up a hill came down a mountain or something like that I'll look at the name I will look down when it look up Hugh Grant mountain movie sounds really good did I saw this one in the movie theater you've got to be kidding me the Englishmen who went up a hill but came down a mountain I told you that's a name of the movie. I just fully redeemed the memory. The name of the movie is the entire plot. Yes that's how else are you going to explain a movie where we're trying to turn a hill

into a mountain. One that shouldn't be a movie to the fact you remember it is incredible three the fact you're in theaters for is even greater Yeah, it was it turns out it was more like a love story. Yeah, it turns out it was not you don't say with you, Grant All right last question here Steve from Twitter Would you rather receive a hundred dollars for every push-up you do or an automatic $2,200 a day for free How so I wait 22 push-ups a day? Yes. Oh, they did give me that one. That's easy. Yeah, it's not just like I get Do your push-ups right now and that's it. I could do 22 right now. Yeah, it wouldn't be fun, but I could do 22

Yeah, and then I and then you actually are like, hey, I did some pushups. And you get stronger. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. The Englishman who went up a hill but came down a mountain about a town that wouldn't give up, a man who couldn't get out, and the mountain that brought them together. Oh man. Did he bring dirt up the- Yes. What? Yes. This is the plot of the movie.

I think it's that they have a mountain. I believe it gets downgraded to a hill. You've got to be joking. So the town gets together and they start bringing dirt up to try and raise it up to be a mountain. That is the most insane thing I've ever heard. This thing got, not only did it get green lit, it got finished and was released. It got green lit, then it got made, then it got released. Now think about how stupid the concept of the, we arbitrarily as humans say this height is a mountain there's there's no truth to it i got you make it up we gotta make the rules bro during the days of world war ii a small welsh town relies on its local mountain as a source of pride when two english cartographers reginald

ansen and ge George Gerard arrived Arrive to measure the mountain they discovered the landmark is 16 feet short of achieving the official mountain classification disheartened that their mountain has been deemed a hill the townsfolk devise a plan to make up those 16 feet meanwhile Anson falls for a local woman feet. Meanwhile, Anson falls for a local woman. Just a throw away at the end. But really this movie is about the rolling the hill. This is the greatest thing I've ever learned in my life. My goodness. The only thing that would make it better is if this was somehow based upon a true story.

Oh, that part I don't know. We'll find out soon. In the meantime, we're all doing the push-ups, and we're moving on. ["FAKE LIFE"] What's the difference between me and you? Me and you. All right, you gentlemen, do you have the answer before I ask this question? Despite the implication in the film and the real life local legend,

the story is fiction. So much worse that it's fiction. Somebody, if it happened in real life and you read a book and you're like, oh, this boring idea is a good movie, that's one thing. But here's the thing. It's fiction, but this is a local legend. So like this small well still, they're passing passing this thing around talking about how back in the day Our great-grandparents they turned this hill into a mountain. I might watch this movie tonight

I can't I can't wait. What is the difference between a pub a tavern in a saloon? A pub a saloon is easy. Yeah, is that the double doors. It has to have the swinging doors swinging doors There's not actually an entry like you can't close down a saloon. No, I've wondered that it in 24 7 I've got to be 20 more 7. It's 24 7. Yeah 100% there's no crawl under the bottom Now a pub that's also easy. That's across the pond. It's gotta be Irish. It's gotta be Irish. Or English. Yeah, any English can have a pub.

European. It's gotta be a European. There's no American pub. But a tavern, I feel like, this is just me, I feel like taverns are darker. I feel like the interior, like you could never go into a tavern and the lights are like fully on yeah No, they're can't they're inspired by the candlelit taverns of the the original Colonies of of the u.s.. That's right if you go guys blow my mind you go from smartest man alive If you go from daytime into a tavern, maybe you've experienced that you can't see yeah you you walk in and Because the contrast contract you you absolutely your eyes have not adjusted And you think that you're just in a cave. Yeah, I feel like we figured this one out. That was pretty easily Yeah, now wait a minute

What happens if? You've got double doors and very poor lighting Can you be both can you be. I mean I feel like... Which one are you? A saloon doesn't have bright... none of these have bright lighting. Right. The tavern is just a touch darker. The saloon, like even if...

It's the cave of drinking establishments. Yes. But even if over in Europe they have a pub that has the swinging double... that's a saloon. Yeah, if it's got the saloon doors... Yes. You're walking into a saloon. wish we had saloons another thing we're missing you want to know why you wish we had a saloon because it's open right now it doesn't matter it's open right now and the reason we don't have them you you

can't keep anything in stock the theft levels of saloon it's incredibly high so on this show I realized though I do want to take a train to a town to enter a saloon. Now you come a castle. You could have a saloon car on a train. Okay I wasn't following for a second. Yeah. But again. It'll be really loud because there's nothing to block out the sound of the train. Elon this is it. This is the next thing. You can call it X train or whatever. X train. Saloon trains? No, the saloon, the fact that a train can have cabins for different things, that's fine. I'll walk up and down the train and enjoy it. There'll probably be a murder mystery on that train too. Certainly. Because there normally are. Yes. All right, what is the difference between a detective and an investigator?

Hmm. Well, I think it's murder. Uh. The investigator is not part of the murder investigation? They're investigating like fraud. Yeah, I mean, detectives do investigating. But if you're an investigator, you're not doing a murder I feel like are all detectives across the pond called investigators you're saying no in Europe no they had detectives they had detectives too yeah detectives and constables which would you rather be called a detective

detective for sure I deal with murder do you wear if you're a detective versus an investigator? You can wear a fedora if you're a detective, but you have to have a beige full length trench coat. If you're a detective? Yes. That is a requirement. If you're an investigator, you can dress however you want?

Yeah. Yeah, you can just have a regular jacket. So I do not want to be a detective in Arizona. Correct. Because it's just so sweaty to be a detective in Arizona. Correct. Because it's just so sweaty. But your skin's protected. Okay I'm down with this. What is the difference between hair, fur, and hide? Like a hide? Not like and go seek. Right. That would not make sense. No. Yeah like an animal hide, animal hair, animal fur. What's the difference? Man. animal hair, animal fur. What's the difference? Man. A hide is to me complete. It's the whole thing. You can't have like a little chunk and say hey I've got an

animal hide right? It's got to be the whole, like I've got to be able to lay it on the ground and kind of see the shape of the animal. Yeah and that means like a bear hide? And that means that there's skin coming with it. Yeah for sure. This is a hide includes skin. It's not a trim a trim it has to include skin because if you were to pull the fur off the animal without the defense fur yeah and you don't can if you don't have the shape of the body with the skin hmm then it's just the only the only question I have there is if you take the like if there's fur on the body of an animal right yes but if I trim that uh-huh, you're telling me that's still fur on the ground that doesn't become hair No, that's it remains fur. Okay, so then what is the difference between fur and hair?

That's what we're here to figure out Jason. Is that simply the difference between animals and humans? Well, we don't have we are we animals. We do not have fur though. That's what I'm saying. We're clearly not animals We are animals. We do not have fur though. That's what I'm saying. So we're clearly not animals. Right, yeah. Yeah, you're reversing it, Mike. It's about whether fur and hair

is the only definition between us. I think, is it just like thickness and coarseness? Yeah, but if that's true, which I think you might be correct, then you have fur, Mike, cause your hair is so thick. I think humans can only have fur Mike cuz you're I do have I think humans can only have fur in one place and that's the back Yeah, yeah, oh yeah totally

It's the back first year if you are here if you have hair on your back that is that's for it could be mistaken for fur Like because if you were like hunched over, someone might think you're an animal. Now, question. So we have, you know, dogs have fur, right? Yeah, I think so. Now, because they shed, what do we do for these, the animals like the poodles and now the crossbreeds? Is that hair?

Because that doesn't actually shed. It does not shed. Is that poodle hair? No, that's fur. Are you sure? Yeah, I think it's fur. If you went to someone to trim it, what would they say they're trimming? The poodle hair?

Poodle fur? The coat? Yeah, the coat. We didn't bring coat up. Well, I think a coat can only be a fur. You can't have a coat of hair. Right? Hair goes on the head, right?

Yeah, I think so. Yes. I think we failed everybody on this one. If it's fur, there are no wigs made of fur, right? No, they made wigs out of animal hair This is a nightmare Well, we know the hide one right there. Oh, yeah, it's got skins guys got skins got skin. I need a real Here's what my initial my initial instinct was that fur has to be a third and thickness.

I thought it's thickness. That's what I'm saying. Like, if you wear a coat of fur, because people do that, it's got to be thick enough to keep it. I can't say the word. I can't. I'm saying I'm Duffy Duck. Like Cruella DeVille yeah was

that a that was a fur coat okay okay I think I'm learning some stuff here about oh I got bad answers I got good answers we need a both okay bad answers hair can grow on humans or animals fur is only present on animals. Yeah, that's stupid. But humans are animals You know what other humans? But I think the actual reality here is that hair Grows and grows and grows and continues to go To trim it. Yes fur. What does it reach a length of pause of positive length and pauses it can shed or whatever but it that makes so much sense yeah do I have fur on my arms though you're you're I know because it's not

growing it does not grown on my arm I think you ever shaved my arms and I certainly don't have endless hair for miles no you have furry arms. Oh great. That sucks. Yeah. So that goes into the question of like the long haired dogs. They're called long haired dogs. Oh yeah, we just, I mean, it's in the name. It's literally there. It's not called long fur dogs. Oh man. But then they're short haired dogs. Oh no. We have solved nothing. This is the hardest. Let me ask. Let me put it a different way audience What do you think? Yeah Let us know what you think in the comments But we know what height is because we can't I'm here down in it scientific American says on the question

What is the difference between hair and fur? There isn't any hair according to Scientific American that sounds yeah but who are they let us know in the comments um do we have time for one more before the draft yeah let's do one more what is the difference between shades curtains blinds and shutters hey this one I. I think we know yeah, of course because we're human Shades no, it's I mean curtains. That's easy curtains are the the long fabric that goes in the window blinds are only Contained within the window and they can be vertical or horizontal. Yeah, they've got slots. Slats? Slotskis.

They've got slats. Slats. We're going to go with slats and we're going to leave it there. And then shutters are wooden and open and have the ability, like they're built in. Okay. Fully wood. Now here's the problem. Shades. What's the difference between a shade and a curtain? Because you draw your shades. Yes. You draw the curtains too. Yeah, you do draw the curtains. I think shades and curtains are the same.

Incorrect. Two different words. Is a shade one sheet? Yeah. Like a big blanket? Yeah, curtains have two sides. They come together in the middle. Right. And just goes across it's a hundred it's one piece it's you're a hundred percent correct if you were to cut that shade right down the middle yeah you got curtains what do you mean so curtains you're saying that a curtain cannot be just one single fabric correct that's a shade yeah

hundred percent that's that's at least what we are declaring right now. Yeah. No, I think we owe it to the audience. So curtains have a certain- Look, Scientific American is saying- Curtains have a depth? No, they just- Like a thickness? Well, I'm confused by your question. Sir?

So let's say a curtain was made of a material like a shirt. OK. That's not a curtain? No, it is. Yeah. This has that's not a curtain. No it is Comprehending this come-together thing they oh from the middle. Yeah, they meet in the middle Oh, I think that's just that's that's hogwash That's that's what curtains. Oh, that's what a curtain. You know, what are drapes for what it's worth drapes are curtains Drapes are curtains. That's... That's... Drapes are curtains.

Yeah. Do shades, how close to the ground can they get? Shade will cover the whole window. But not go to the ground like curtains. Curtains can go all the way to the ground or close to the ground. Like when you see a movie and then the boyfriend's hiding behind something,

what are they hiding behind? Well, it depends. Are there one or two? Is there one or two, yeah. Is there one on both sides of the window? Cause then he's hiding behind? Well, it depends. Are there one or two? Is there one or two? Yeah. Is there one on both sides of the window? No, because then he's hiding behind a curtain. I don't know if this is accurate, gentlemen.

I'm pretty confident. I feel real good about this. Scientific American, yeah. Okay, Scientific American. Let's draft. The Spitballers Draft. Today we are drafting the worst animals to be reincarnated as. Condor! You're not up.

I know. I have the 101 which... Condor? I mean I wasn't confident on one of them and I feel like I'd be hurting myself if I didn't select a Condor with the 101. At this point. it's on the list already I'm not gonna give that glory to somebody else oh that is that is so Lori and and by glory means I will not be coming back as

a condor congratulations I have just eliminated from the list you can at least fly you can at least fly you get to fly away from everyone who's calling you hideous I mean not to mention like condors also are what's the name for it but the kind of creature that just like carry on they just eat the scraps of meat of stuff other people have already killed is it like a vulture it's I think they're much like vulture I can't think of the word right now vultures also very ugly for what it's worth this is the first animal I've ever seen that makes a vulture look good like a vulture a vulture would want to be near A condor. Yeah, that's it. So which I think is a pathetic quality of an animal anyway I think those are the worst worst animal you're dunking on hyenas then oh, I'm done. They're on my

They're on my list because they're pathetic. Yeah Oh, I'm done. They're on my list. They're on my list because they're pathetic. Yeah Just go get your own. I mean they are is they're just taking the easy street. They are so smart or not harder, man Interestingly ugly condor is my pick. All right. All right My first pick I'm going to go look not only when I was looking this up not only is this creature just a Not only when I was looking this up not only is this creature just a Speed that makes no sense due to how slow they are, but they're apparently very dumb as well

So I will take the sloth. Yeah now I understand you have Jason might like that one you have an adorable factor because they are incredibly cute, but How what what makes them move so slow? This is like the evolutionary rules, like this animal should not have survived. No, I wonder all the time how this animal exists. If, you know, I know cartoons, they have like sloths and they're slow, but when you actually watch a real one you go

Whoa, it's not a joke. It's not moving it but it's at full speed. It is moving right now It's so how could it ever get away from a predator? It can't I don't know impossible and it lives in a jungle where there's Nothing, but predators. Maybe this they can't see it. It just looks too slow. It's just like a... What, like a dinosaur rules? Yeah. If you don't move, you can't see it? Yeah, I mean, if it moves that slow...

It's Drax. It's just... My movements are so slow, they're imperceptible. Yeah, exactly. And they're stupid though, so maybe part of the movement problem is just being dumb. Yeah, I think if they were smarter, they'd be like, oh, check this out. Look what I can do. They have to be able to move fast, right?

It's a mental thing. No, no, no. You think it's a mental thing? I 100% think it's a mental thing. You think that if they just had some caffeine, they might start sprinting? I don't think that they're the one animal in the world whose muscles can't work faster.

I think that they choose. You would never be tired as a sloth I don't know man have you ever tried to move slowly? Yeah it takes a lot of activation of those muscles. The World Wildlife Federation says sloths have an extremely low metabolic rate so this is which is why they have to move so slow. Then why aren't they fat? Hmm? They're not skinny. Because they can't eat fast enough, Jason. Yeah, that's the truth. All right, am I up?

You are. OK, so my 101 got to me. I can't imagine anything worse than this. And we're not doing insects. So I looked this up because I was like, is this an insect? This is technically an animal, an earthworm. OK. There is no purpose to your existence.

You live underground. Honestly, I was thinking about it. In dirt. But then I thought it wasn't an animal. Yeah, no, I was just curious. I looked it up. A worm is- Worms are not classified as an insect?

No, worms- Oh, because they don't have six legs. Yeah. Right? An insect has to have six legs. I mean, if you looked it up, scientific American, I'm gonna allow it. I would still call it a bug. Yeah, I mean, it's because it's small and nasty

and creepy and, oh, it's disgusting. But could you imagine that life? Like, what is the life of a worm? Now wait, if you cut one in half, do you become two? I don't think earthworms do that. Maybe. I'm just thinking youworms do that. Maybe. I'm just thinking you could have a friend. Yeah, you're like, I'm so lonely.

Split. Split. Okay, so earthworm. The point of view is you're going through the dirt. You're what, irrigating it? Can't think of the right word. Irrigating? I don't think it's irrigating.

Air-rating? Air-rating, thank you. You're welcome. Oh my gosh! Okay. I just googled, I just wanted to remember how hideous this is. I'm gonna draft the ugliest creature on the face of the planet. He actually jumped back by the way.

I did. I googled this one word and was terrified. I'm drafting a blobfish. Yeah. That was my original 101 it is Beyond disgusting it looks like something from a bad movie like a low budget movie that had to create some kind of monster But they didn't have like a talented person to create it or a big budget So they just kind of made it out of play-doh. Yeah, and they don't have artistic ability. It's disgusting

Yeah, it's it's it's not good. It's not good Mike. It's back to you. You have a sloth. I have a sloth I'm going to follow that up with a jellyfish Interesting. What is a jellyfish even doing? It's just kind of blown around floats around It has no control over where it goes, right? No It's kind of blowing around. It floats around. It has no control over where it goes, right? No, it can't because it just goes wherever the ocean takes it. Now you release your little tentacles out and hope that a fishy goes into it,

and so you eat them, but other than that, you have no control whatsoever of your wave. So your food, you're at the whim of the currents. Your movement is the whim of the currents. Yes. You are mostly invisible. Imagine meeting a friend jellyfish and then the currents take you apart. You got no way to stick together. Nope. Nope. You

can't trade numbers. You're basically a tree. Like you're lifeless. A tree doesn't blow in the wind. But it doesn't move. My point is, we're talking about you. Jellyfish are like trees. See? You have no control of where you're going. A tree is rooted. Yeah. My point is the opposite. Yes. Okay. One moves one doesn't, but neither have any control in the ocean to move. They don't have the ability to like, they're just, they're just, they're alive. It's a little tree can grow taller. You don't think of jellyfish grows, but it doesn't want would have gone tumbleweed I guess I was thinking just something that is living. Yeah that does nothing

Well, I don't know. Okay, okay Finds a bad analogy. Yeah, it's not great Trees are respect what do you expect from a blobfish? Am I right? But a jellyfish. That's not a good life. All right, so I have to pick a friend for my condor. Yes.

This is difficult because I'm trying to think of a combo here. Some animals are ugly, and that's why you'd pick that you don't wanna be them. You don't wanna be a blobfish. Yeah, you don't wanna be a blobfish. You don't wanna be a condor. Some animals are just pathetic, in my opinion,

like a hyena. But I think that... You say that to a hyena's face. I think you're gonna disagree. No, I'll wait for someone to kill me, and they'll come back and eat some of me. I'm gonna go with a mole. Okay. Because a mole is like an ugly-er earthworm in a lot of ways. It's like you're underground the whole time. You don't... I don't think they can see. I

say I believe moles are blind. I think they're blind. They got like a starfish disgusto nose face That's to put it. Have you have you looked up? I'm looking at it right now. I did not know that their nose did this I this is a Demi Gorgon. It's like a starfish II looking gross face See I would have gone on my list was mole rat. You should look up a mole rat. Oh, I have that on my list too. The naked mole rat? Yes. Yeah. But.

Oh, man. Talking about a condor. The mole rat. It's a condor if I've ever seen one. Oh, man, the mole rat is something special. You know what? I'm going to go with a rabbit. A rabbit? What? What? You being a rabbit would be awesome. No, no, no, no, no. Listen. I want, this is definitely, make my list on like animals you want to be reincarnated in. This is why I'm bringing it up. Okay. A rabbit, first of all, if you've ever known anybody that wants a rabbit for a pet, they're stupid and horrible pets. Second, they're not, it's not Bugs Bunny. You're not hopping around all over the place being happy.

Here's what you are as a rabbit. You spend your life trying not to get either eaten by predators. You are only prey. No animal is more only prey than a rabbit. You hop around trying not to be eaten by hawks, coyotes, mountain lions, whatever. All you do is get hunted all day long.

This is fair. And if you're not doing that, you're getting hit by a car. That's the two things that you're doing. You're trying to get across streets. You're not doing, you're not really hopping that much. And you're eating vegetables. And you're eating vegetables all day long. Rabbits are overplayed because of cartoons.

If they had like a tigger like jumping ability, if you saw rabbits and they were exactly like they are now, except for they jump six feet. Rabbits can jump super high. Yeah, like a jackrabbit? Are both of you contending that a regular rabbit can jump six feet in the air? Because if you show me one. What's a regular rabbit?

A rabbit cannot jump over me. How high can a rabbit jump? I wanna know what world you're living. Four feet. Oh hi, can a rabbit jump? I want to know what world you're living in. Four feet. Four, oh darn. A four foot jump for a tiny little rabbit? Yeah, I have, to date, I have seen thousands of rabbits.

I've never seen one jump four feet. Oh, it doesn't jump for you? It just doesn't see you and go, Hey rabbit! Do a jump! He's never, never listen. They're just getting eaten by stuff I don't get any by someone they're moving they could travel up to 45 miles per hour Rabbits are awesome. Yeah rabbits. You want to know what they're doing. They're running into your garden stealing food. They're awesome. They're cute This is coming from a movie right? This is coming from all the rabbits in my neighborhood

every night. What's the rabbit movie? What, Peter Rabbit? Peter Rabbit. Oh, blah. What is our channel doing right now? We're getting all the animals. No, I'm going the permanent prey of a rabbit.

Because I'm just going to get eaten. Those are good points. All right, Mike, you're back. I will concede that. All right, so I have jellyfish. I have sloth. I have sloth, I am gonna go, look, it makes up for, not makes up,

it joins your not attractive face animals, and I don't really know what they do. I'm gonna go with a turkey. Turkeys are disgusting. They taste good. They're mean. They're mean, aggressive and I don't know what they do. What's that thing called that they have? They got a gizzard or a snoodle? Is it a snood? It's a snoodle? A snoot? Is it a snood? It's a snood! I'm gonna look it up. If you got a snood, I don't want to be you. Yeah, don't send it to me. So we got the snood, we got the waddle, and we got the car-nunkles. The car-nunkles?

No, no, carunkles. Carunkles, yeah. A snood? Yeah, no snood picks for me. Dude, turkeys are so gross. They're gross. That's a good pick It's a really good pick. All right when they're when they're hunting I get it It's a bird, but how do you not look at that face and you're like, ooh, I bet that's tasty animal. Oh Man condors must be delicious. Yeah I was gonna say all right, Jason your final two picks you have an earthworm and a blob fish Which I wouldn't want to be either one of those yeah, and so this one is Bad in a number of ways. I think they're ugly. I think they're disgusting. They also have terrible PR

Everybody hates him. There's nobody that loves This animal this is a I bet it can jump six feet. You wish. It eats garbage. It eats garbage? And is a monster. Oh, okay. Lives in sewers. It's a rat.

I don't want to be a rat. I don't want to be completely hated by the entirety of the world. People have pet rats. Yeah, we had pet rats. Yeah, rats are not hated by the entirety of the world. People have pet rats. Yeah, we had pet rats. Yeah, rats are not hated by the entirety of the world. I will say this, they are also nimble. You can go hide wherever you want. You can go kind of be like a, you know, you'd be able to watch anything you want, sneak

into anywhere you want. But it is a hated animal. You're the king of the mouse world. I'm the bringer of disease. Yes, you are that. You're the king of the mouse world. I'm the bringer of disease. Yes, you are that. You're the plague bringer. And if you had somebody say, hey, what'd you get reincarnated as?

And you're like, a rat. That wouldn't sound so good. Let me put it this way. At my house, in my neighborhood, we have rabbits around. Bunnies, I don't know the difference between a bunny and a rat, whatever we have. And I love them. And they're cute. If I had a rat at my house, you wanna know what I'm doing?

I'm not setting out traps for my rabbits. You know, like, I'm bringing a company in, and I'm gonna make sure that these rats die. Okay. Yeah. So yeah, rabbits. I guess if a rabbit's hunted, rats are pretty hunted by humans. Yeah.

Okay, so I think the final one would be my final pick, trying to go. That would be your final pick. I'm gonna go with an ostrich. Oh, it's on my list. You know, it's- It is very much on my list. You would be living in a permanent state of

jealous rage. Yeah, I am deficient as a don't call me a bird. Yeah, don't call me a bird. I can't fly. Yeah I can't fly. I'm mad. I'm angry. I put my head in the sand. I don't but people think I do. Right They apparently do something where they like lay their head down People think I do. Right. They apparently do something where they like lay their head down. Also, they don't live in nice areas. You don't see ostrich out in like the beautiful.

They're not in the forests. Yeah, they're not in the forests. Yeah, okay. They're out in the desert, just near the tumbleweeds. Do we have time for a quick sidebar? Sure. How come nobody's ever released different animals in different places?

Uh, because they don't survive. Yeah. You're telling me. Maybe they did. This is what I was thinking about. You're telling me if you brought in, I don't know, 600 tigers. Right. And you just release them into our north forest country. Right. They're surviving. Oh, that, they would survive. You would need a lot of them. They would destroy the ecosystem. Oh, I'm well aware of it Yeah, so that's why I'm just saying it but it feels like science

Feels like somebody would like some arch villain or something would do it for entertainment value I feel like he would you I would feel like that would be in a city Sure, if we're talking super villain, he's not releasing it in the jungle. I mean they're like ha ha ha ha ha Trees they're gonna scratch the jungle. I mean like Trees they're gonna scratch your bark I mean the whole category like arsonist that set things on fire on purpose and nobody's ever like I don't know put a bunch Of grizzlies in the jungles out in I think your examples are difficult because the first part you gotta get them You gotta get hundreds of grizzlies. Yeah. Like if this was rabbits and you're like, oh, you know, rabbits, how would you do in the Arctic?

Let's go find out. I'd avoid the Arctic for most of these, but I don't know. All right, Mike, final pick. Sloth, jellyfish, turkey? Cow. That's not bad. Cow's a good pick. Look, cow, you're here for two reasons. Number one, maybe you're a milk cow and then you get to have a terrible life and we steal

your milk and you're just farty and gross and you stink. Or the worst. and you're just farty and gross and you stink or You're worse You're raised and you you say goodbye to your friends and they tell you you're going you know to cow Disneyland And then you're never to be seen again And you are quite delicious Yeah, I'm not gonna argue with that now if you're reincarnated in some places in the world, yes, that is true. You're worshiped. Yes, yes. There are.

How long does a cow live, if it was to die of natural causes? This has never happened. We don't let them. No one has ever known. We're still waiting to find out. 15 to 20 years. And you chew your cud too, right? Yeah.

That sounds fun. And I think you have to like barf it up and then chew it again. Yeah, I mean, we'd make it a cud if you didn't do that. What is cud? It's grass. Yeah, man. Why don't we call it grass?

Because they turn it into a cud. So cow's a good pick. I have condor, mole, rabbit. And I'm going to finish it with partially digested food returned from the first stomach for more chewing So you got double stomachs with the reincarnation. Yeah, but you have to you have to verb Yeah, you gotta eat your verb So cows are always they they're chewing on the verb chew grass. Yeah into one stomach

Yep, they vomit it back up. Mm-hmm. back up so that they can chew it more. Yeah. And put it in the second stomach? Yeah, and put it in the second stomach. It's better the second time around. So it's partial broken down in the first stomach? I think that's what's going on. You're a weird cow, Mike.

Condor, mole, rabbit, I'm going to go with skunk. Okay. I'm going to go with the skunk. Maybe. Look, I literally am known for smelling horrible. Yeah, that's what I am No one hangs out with me. Well a skunk, but you have a weapon Yeah, you do like I thought about putting skunk on my list because it was like I understand how that's a good pick But I was just like if I had if if I am the skunk if if that's my ability

Would I hate it? You could become a skunk tomorrow if you wanted my ability, would I hate it? You could become a skunk tomorrow if you wanted to. You can make yourself smell real, real bad. That'd be a cool weapon. Yeah, but you can't, it's projectile. You could put that in your pocket. How far can a skunk do their spray? Let's find out. A lot of Googling on today's show.

If you Google how far can a skunk do their spray, I'll be interested in the answer. 15 feet. Good grief! Accurately. Accurately. Oh yeah. Like I hit a target like a sniper? Yeah. Like there's there's like Hawkeye the skunk. It can cause significant eye irritation and even temporary blindness. To me it was between the skunk. In the face. In the face! And the and a weasel. the skunk and the weasel okay because a weasel they pop yeah I mean they just sound it sounds like a terrible thing to be called yeah we do use it in a derogatory sense I don't I don't know why people don't like weasels but because they're sly sneaky little scoundrels are they well yeah I mean that's what they're known for for sure like liars you're a weasel and a weasel your way out of that

Yeah Condor mole rabbit skunk Mike with a sloth jellyfish turkey cow and Jason with an earthworm blobfish rat ostrich Any other I I had the elephant seal in there, which is a heck of a condor of an animal Mmm, if you want to take a look at that for sure. I'll look at that. I had Let's see chicken. Yeah, it's like that. Oh, yeah, for sure. I'll look at that. I had, let's see. Chicken. Yep. Oh yeah.

That's not a good life. You just run. Steal your eggs or kill you for meat. I mean it's. It's a real cow situation. Watch out for crossing that street. I've got platypus. Interesting.

Because you didn't ever know what you really are. Yeah. I'd like to be confused Yeah, but this is confusing. Do you think they're confused? Yes. Oh, yeah. What are all these things I have? I also had camel Because part of me thinks it would be cool to be a camel right? You're like you can run you're big But you live in the desert. Yeah, you're adapted. Yeah. Yeah, but you're just thinking of heat Yeah, I just I think you would live in the heat and then best case scenario is you have to give rides. You gotta give rides.

It just doesn't sound fun. How many humps do camels have? What is the range? I think there's three. Are there three humped camels? I think there's three humped camels. Are those dual so two people could ride? Yeah, this is the sedan

Sedanel One or two. Oh, we don't got the triples, huh? The a fun fact though about camels that I seen the other day a typical camel can drink 53 gallons of water in three minutes. Oh typical camel can drink 53 gallons of water in three minutes. Oh my gosh. So if there's just like a big body of water they just they put their face in and they turn into a vacuum and they drink so much water. Imagine drinking 53 gallons of water in three minutes. And this is a dumb question is the hump actually no it's not actually water. No it's fat. So why are they so good in the desert? Where's the water going just in there?

They can drink how many stomachs is these guys got? Oh, I just so I googled about the humps I wanted to know how many and There there aren't three hump camels, but if you image search a three hump camel and you see one with three humps you realize There's not enough space for three humps you realize there's no way you would ever be a three humped camel. There's not enough space for three humps. It doesn't have to be too long? It's just not a thing. Oh yeah, that looks ridiculous. No one rides. No one rides on that camel. What did we learn today? I learned a lot today. So many things. I mean, this was the most informative episode we've ever had

I honestly I'm gonna go recency bias here. I learned that cows Eat their vomit. You also learned what condors look like on today. Yeah as a big learning experience I learned that we don't know the difference between fur and hair on today's show. Yeah, it was the condor. I didn't realize there were so many condor-like animals out there. Some animals were dealt a bad hand. Believe it's for cleanliness. Yeah, sure. Thanks for tuning in.

Tell your friends and your family about the podcast. We'll see you next time. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.