Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Donkey Kicks & Foods That Taste Better Than They Smell - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: March 30, 2026

We’re back with a brand new episode and a brand new Spitballers set! The hilarious laughs and silly situations remain, and we’ve got another fantastic episode for you. That’s a Great Question returns and we bring things home with a Foods That Taste Better Than They Smell draft. Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast! Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast: Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.com Follow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPod Follow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPod Subscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore on realistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the spitballers podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. Bloop, blap, dinga-ding-de-bang-bong, a dingle-bulp. Or dingle-bulp. Is that like, instead of a light bulb or dingle bulb? Because... I think I've had those after.

After some Chipotle, I've had a dingle bulb before. I'm so tired of scatting for this man. A dingle bulb is definitely after you go two swipes and you miss one. Oh, yeah. Let me just pull back the curtain a little. Oh, gosh, we're going to do this. Yeah, of course we're doing this. We are recording this on Andy Holloway's birthday.

We are open and vulnerable. And we should have a rule. I would say we should have a rule. Then no one should have to scat on. their birthday. You have to come into work. You got to be here. You got to record. You shouldn't have to be forced to do this. Well, Josh doesn't have to be here. Well, he would never be here on his birthday. Or other people's birthday. Or other people's birthdays, relatives' birthdays. He takes so much time off work. But for us adults in the room, like Andy, congratulations being here on your birthday.

It was my scat today. And he was, Andy was so sure that he is here on my birthday. Josh, yeah, Josh, why are you here? Shocked that you are here. There's someone you know. And it's their birthday. That means my birthday is so unimportant to Josh, you wouldn't take it off. That's what it means. It's not a privilege.

It's not no. You're going to try to turn around and be like, I love Andy so much. That means you didn't even know it was his birthday. That's what it means. I did know it was his birthday. No, you didn't. He would have scheduled it off. Absolutely.

Out of respect. He has no respect for you. Okay, go on. But Andy, this is about 30 minutes ago, was positive he had fulfilled. the Scats. We made a bet a hundred years ago. Well, let's just put it this way. It wasn't a bad. It was an agreement.

We made an agreement. We made an agreement. I don't go to Las Vegas and make an agreement with the black check dealer. I'm going to make an agreement here. I'm going to put these chips down. And you're going to take them. Yeah. That's an agreement they will agree to. So anyways, our company Christmas party. Now, I don't know if this is a spit hit at this point, but so long ago. We are not near

Christmas. No. You made an agreement with an offer to me about whether or not I would do a certain show for you after our Christmas party and you will do my next number of scats. Today you were positive that that number you had made in agreement was three. Only a billion zillion million dollars worth positive. Well, when you said, I will bet you a million bazillion dollars of three because I'm like, no, you said four. When you said, I will bet you a million bazillion dollars. I was ready to take that bet. However, I knew you would never agree to a million bazillion.

So I was like... Also, because that's not a... It's not a real number. It's got to be a real number. Bazillion? You can figure it out. Is Bazillion a real number? No.

See, Jeremy, look up a zillion. Anyways. It is not. So I look it up. I did. Again, anyways. So I told Andy, I will bet you $100. Yeah, this is just insult to insurance.

100 on his birthday $100. I'm so stupid. To which he agreed to. We had a handshake. We looked it up and he had said four scats, not three. So I get the $100. The whole thing's a mess because

I hosted the Christmas party. I shouldn't have had to do. No, you shouldn't have had to do the show the next morning. It was your kindness that originally put you in that show taking it from Mike. You scheduled the date. That's true. That's also true. But anyways, bearing the lead. So I got the $100.

You were like Friday. Why would we do this on Friday? I got the $100 from Andy on his birthday where he still had to scat. And then I turned around and I gave that $100 to Mike for my next scat. I will never scat again, people. I got $100. It's been a good day, a good birthday for everyone around here. You should make more bad bets, Andy.

We are on episode 361 of the spitballers. We have Would You Rather? That's a great question. And we are drafting things. From a year's worth of four away? Yeah. From a year's worth of sketch or shows. We're drafting things that taste better than they smell.

So we'll leave that to your imagination. We'll get to it soon. Let's start with some Would You Rather? Would You Rather? Well, Josh wants to remind everybody that he won $100 on my birthday as well. because he won our little company Pistachio throwing contest I think that's $50.

I was going to say that's $100? I think it's $50. It was not $50. Oh, it's $100? I mean, it was. What did you do? Okay. I guess they'll throw 100.

What did you do? I got a lot of Amazon gift cards to give away. We thought you got a lot of $50. Ask Al how many he's won. Owl, how many, we've been doing this for months and months. We've probably done this 50 times. How many times have you won within our office of like, eight other people eligible to win this.

I am alone in the elite group of people who have never won this competition. Zero dollars. I'll give you a zero dollar gift card. You've given me plenty. Would you rather your garage be twice as big or your kitchen pantry be twice as big? I mean, I'm, I am so far on one side that I am ineligible for this question. I am so far on one side. Some people want.

cars. And they want to store a bunch of cars. No, I don't want cars. And tools. They want workshop. You are a pantry. I don't want cars. I don't want tools. I want a pantry that is like a 30 foot chicken run. I want to go into the pan. I want I want to cook in the pantry. I want countertops and outlets and put my entire kitchen inside the pantry. You've looked into pantry renovation. I have genuinely. The kind that I won't even tell people. Have you considered... I have looked into... Like, taking garage space for your pantry? I have. I have not even a joke I looked into expanding my... I've got like a mud room off my garage. Okay. I looked into converting that

into what we will call a pantry. Yeah, but what he means is a freezer. A walk-in refrigerator. Yeah, he's looked into a walking refrigerator. Like a room. Just imagine a room is a fridge. That's what he looked into. Why are you trying to do like Rocky Balboa? Like, no. You're going to hang... Look, cow and just beat up on it. If we're going to be real here and be ourselves and just tell the truth, Mike and I went to the wedding of our manager in wherever, the middle of nowhere. We'll call it Detroit. We'll call it Detroit. But it was not Detroit.

It was some town that Detroit's never heard of. We had to take a small flight from Detroit to this place. Anyways, nightmare later. Canada. It was pretty much Canada. Get it off your chest right now. One that that was an awful trip. Congratulations, Stagerman. It was also in like the 90s.

They had one place that was the best place in the world. Didn't we name it? What was the name of that? I don't know. I don't know. But they had converted this outside shed essentially into a walk-in refrigerator because this catering place. It was no. No, no.

Not a vineyard. They were on a. a big farm with a bunch of apples. Oh, that's right. It was apple cider. They make like like boutique like apple, like apple, you know, like grown up cider.

And they like make they make like apple whiskey of some sort. So this was a storage room. It was a business operation. But they had shown us that there was this little air conditioner like a normal $100 air conditioner you buy that just goes in a wall. And there's this

machine that they could plug in. They have. To hack it for cheap. To turn it into a fridge motor type of thing. It runs. It'll like burn out every year and a half. It runs forever and doesn't freeze over. Yeah. And so, but it was the cool. It was awesome.

So I went home immediately after that trip. How do I do that? I want a walk-in refrigerator like that because it was the best place in the world. Like, they're really expensive. It didn't work. There's a lot more than just that unit. So I didn't do it. But I will take the pantry, fow shower.

I'll take the garage. Really? I thought you were going to be on the pantry side. What? For all of my cooking? Well, you do the cooking. Yeah. I mean, storing groceries is slowing down as enjoyment of it. Yeah. But, okay, so was this an, you said you're very much on one side. Was this anti-pantry or is this pro garage? This is pro-space to put junk, junk.

Which, oh my gosh, guys. So, yeah, this is a little soapbox. so I apologize. But the other day, we're driving around, and there's been this empty, you know, a piece of land on a main stretch of road. And there's a giant new structure being put up. And we're like, oh, what is this? Holy crap.

Is that another storage? Is that another storage place? Yeah, they're very popular. And it is. And it's like, I know where that is. Okay. So storage is big business. It is. They can put like five storage places within a mile and everyone will get filled up.

It's big business in the United States of America. And I was watching it. And you know what? I was like, I'm a little grossed out. And I tell you, I'm looking in the mirror. So this is not an attack. This is an attack on myself of just we, why do we have so much crap? We have so much stuff. I mean, we could talk about that for the whole time. We have so much stuff now that now we must go to a business and say, hello, your extra room that is not a part of my house. I would like to borrow your space because I have too much stuff that I got to come put it in your place. A long time ago. What are we doing? A long time ago.

We're not living the right way, Mike. What are we doing? Storage units were places that you would rent for a maximum of three months. That was a place. Or temporary. I am. There's a temporary facility. things it's like I have you know I have so much uh summer equipment it's like I got all this stuff

for the lake you know what I mean it's like and I can't possibly have that at my house but I but I use it for a huge chunk of the season but but I have to store it somewhere or you're like there's there are there are exceptions that I totally recognize but for the most part it feels like what are we doing why do we need so many businesses because we have so much stuff we don't I can answer it. It just goes there and then it just sits there. I can answer it with one word. I can answer it with one word. And I'm sorry. This will not. Let's do it. I'm afraid of this word. Yeah, of course. Wives. That's why. That's 100%. Why? One, 100%. Boo. No, it is. No. No. Yeah. I hit my button before you. You tried. Oh, they're they're fighting. They're fighting. I knew you were going to say that. Jason has a very personal connection. to the accumulation of costumes. I am part of the problem.

Listen. I am not part of my problem. Here's what's weird. Sure thing, pantry boy. What if you told somebody, if you mentally went through it, what is the storage unit cost per month, Al? Give me a just ballpark. 100 bucks?

Probably between 100 and 150. That's what I thought. Okay, so $100, $150. What if I told you that you get the opportunity to rent a bunch of items to be stored in a room you can't use them for $150 a month because that's what you're now doing. You're now renting possession of those items. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Instead of selling them for profit. Right. You could sell them for something most often or give them away, but instead you get to rent them. You don't get to use them. You're going to rent the, this would be like me saying Jason. Yes. Listen, you can have partial ownership of my couch.

$100 a month. I'll store it at my house. Okay. $100 a month. You get to have partial ownership. But I have. You have partial ownership. I can say I own a couch.

You could say you own it and you know, it's not going to be usable by you. Right. It will be stored in my facility. When you explain this to me. Don't you want to rent it? So much more upset than I already was. I was already. Look, we've got an RV garage at our house that is.

This is your moment, Jay. This is top to bottom. You got an RV in there, right? Oh, no. We couldn't. We can barely fit a skateboard. in there my man that thing is a

can barely fit a skateboard in an RV garage we have genuinely we have like we've got five little scooters for our family of five and they barely squeezed in on the right this is not a small RV garage this could whatever RV exists you can get in there

I mean if you call it an RV garage you already know how big it is by default yeah this is at least I don't I just maybe people think I own a theater I don't. I don't own a theater. But I have all the props, sets, and costumes. If you have a theater out there, let me tell you, hit me up.

Because I can do your whole show. Let's say you had full control over what's inside of that. Okay. What would you do? Okay. There's layers to this. Would you burn them? I would burn. If that was my only recourse... That's bad for the environment. Yeah, right. That wouldn't be... I mean, ideally, I'd sell them. I'd say, hey, I'd sell them.

I would donate them. I would get rid of them to Salvation armies. Hey, come pick up this stuff. Any theaters in need? What if you need it? What if you need it? If I need it, that's the thing. We don't need it.

We don't need it. We don't need it. We need almost nothing. But if it came to it, if it was like a. But I'm a buy it. You're not allowed to sell it. If he's doing it, like, here's the thing. If Jason's offering, he's going to be like, this is so cheap to say, I can't, I can't buy past this deal.

If I, if I said, what if I need the pink tree? Everything in my RV garage is for sale. 50 bucks total. It's an under, you couldn't imagine what a good deal that is. I'm going to buy it. Yeah. This is something we inherited, like some bits and pieces. Our parents' generation was

thrifty. This is the garage. They were the garage sale antique generation. You said wives, I'll disagree because my grandfather was the biggest hoarder of anything that could be perceived as possibly valuable ever again

that you could ever imagine. old machines to make keys that don't work anymore in the garage because you can't get rid of something like that. Oh, what kind of key you got there? I mean, we make jokes on our... I used to be able to make that. Look. We make jokes on our fantasy for the world podcast about can't cut that guy. Yeah.

This is can't cut that thing. That's totally. This is can't sell that thing. I can't give it away. You might need it. We might do another show set in the 1920s that needs sparkly dresses. We might do that someday again. And we have to hold on to these 20 dresses.

Do you ever see it a little bit? I don't know the guys that do it. It was on YouTube where the dad finally has a need for the scrap piece of wood. The piece of wood that's in a certain shape for this certain situation. Yes. It's the same. I mean, I drafted for one of our things. It was like I drafted the box of cords.

I remember that. Because. What if you need it? Yeah. What if? What if I need a cord from 1989? The trick about it is the only way you ever need any of those items ever is the day you get rid of them. Yeah. That's how it works. It's the Murphy's Law of Possession.

If you give that thing away tomorrow, you'll need an, you'll need an Ethernet Court the next day. That is true. That is 100% true. If you keep the Ethernet Court, it's no chance. But you want to know what's nice about the box of cords. Mm-hmm. You don't need a warehouse. You don't need to pay $200 a month. Buy an RV. Step one. Step two, pull it into the garage. That's all I'm saying. There's a, there's a lot of steps I have to come before I can fit that RV. No. No. No. Or a V garage. Pull it in. Okay, I'm just going to smush it off.

That's where I'm getting. I guess it's got power and weight. It could get through there. I think it could handle the sparkly dresses, Jason. I think it could handle it. All right. Would you rather, by the way, my final answer is. Oh, yeah.

This is a legit question. Do you know how much cool stuff I have that I can't get rid of? It's garage. Would you rather loudly fart every time you sit down like Jason does? Or whatever surface you lie down on sounds like a loud potato chip. bag every time you move. Oh my gosh. Oh. Oh. So your bed's like, I don't know if it's age or just what I'm going through. I have no idea. The farts? The farts are neither of those. That's a lifelong, daily 24 hour a day symptom. I have had that since birth. I can fart like crazy. I put myself

up against any farder in the world and I will beat you. But what I was going to see. Any farter in the world. And by beat you, you mean out fart. Smell? Is this sound? It's not smell. Sound or quantity. Both.

Sound and quantity. Okay. Volume. We can judge on any level but smell. I don't have the stinkiest. I've met people that. Because we are a room. As well documented by episode whatever, when you drank the root beer and you nearly

passed away. Yeah. Yeah. That was live. Live near death experience. So, that was legit. A thing that. is very common amongst not you.

You can belch on command and people will be like, I can burp the alphabet. Can you fart the alphabet? Can you fart the alphabet? I cannot fart the alphabet, but I can almost always fart on demand. Which is just unbelievable.

But you've been around me enough. You know that that's usually true. I know that's almost always true. I wish I didn't know them. I apologize. I was really upset at pickleball yesterday at a couple plays, So I just had to, I just chose.

That wasn't like I needed to fart. I just chose. I was like, Farts need to happen here. Have you ever weaponized? Oh, yeah. Yeah? Oh, yeah.

I'm 43 years old. You think I haven't weaponized my, my superpower? Like one time he was getting a cavity and it was hurting bad. Weaponized. Yeah. You just be like, I think the dentist,

sent the message. Like, you've ever been in a chiropractor? I've been in a chiropractor. And just, well, he said, you really got my lower back there. My genuine, like I love.

I adore one of my favorite things in the entire world is professional massages. Yes. I love going to a fancy spa and just getting someone that knows what they're doing to work through the muscles. My number one big, well, number two. I got two issues with. Number two. I got two issues with massages. Okay.

Just stick with number two. well stick with number two I don't know what you think number one is here brother I'm just worried about farting I'm just number one is that when they when you start face down too long

my nose I think it's everybody oh yeah it gets all claws just get like I can't breathe anymore they got to they got to lay you down face down for 30 minutes and then flip because when they go like 45 minutes I just can't breathe anymore and then I'm like at that point

I'm just trying to survive And not fart. But my biggest fear is I just got enough. I'm so gassy. I have unlimited gas. What was the question? The loud fart when you sit down or your potato chip bag bed. Oh, so I remember how we got here.

I was talking about what I'm going through right now. Oh, yeah. I toss and turn in my sleep more than I've ever toss and turn. I mean, once I'm asleep for about four hours, the rest from there until I wake up, I am 10 minutes. Flip. Ten minutes. Flip. Ten minutes.

Got a lot of stress going on? I have no idea, man. I don't know what it is. I'm taking magnesium. I'm doing all the old people things you're supposed to do. I got a, you know, a sunblocker, light blocker. Sunblocker for a night. I think I know what this is all about.

It's because I don't like that show you like. Well, you're really stressed out. Take that off of me. Take that off my shoulders. I don't like that one show you recommend. It's a good show. It's fine. You know, one of the guys that agrees with you that wasn't

good came into me the other day, said he's on the midway point of season two and he's really been enjoying it. Oh no. He said it's getting pretty good. Anyways. We're talking about Paradise, guys. It's a whole other topic. This idea that we all got to agree. We all got to agree with each other on these takes. We don't have to

agree with each other on takes, but opinions. Isn't it amazing though how opinions of others how overwhelming it is? If you go read a critics review and you have a movie you liked and they don't like it, you're like, maybe I shouldn't have liked it. How stupid are we? I don't think like that.

When I read a critics review of something I really liked and they didn't like it. I don't think maybe I shouldn't have liked it. I know you don't because your show got a 6.6 out of 10. So of course you don't. Oh, man. I'm going to run out of battery in an hour. I pushed his cord down the hole. Jason is ready to fight people to the death.

Oh, my gosh. Over his love of this show. Look, I don't. I would not. I don't pull it back now. Mike, if you start watching this show, you're only going to hurt Jason. I, there's just no chance. I have never seen it, nor will I ever see it. I am enjoying Paradise. It's a, it's a good show. It's having to walk it back. No, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not walking anything back. It is a good show. Did you say really enjoy it? It is way better than 6.6.6. This is not an all time.

You said, and I've said that from the beginning. You said you watched the first episode. I said this is not Game of Thrones. It's not breaking bad. Wait, what did he say? Mike? He said during the first episode, he would have those thoughts of, and conversations with your wife while you're watching the first episode. You guys are like, this show was so good. Yes, that happened.

No, that only happens with elite top tier shows. I said it was elite. I think it's an elite show. I think it's an elite show. He's up late at night. He's struggling with this. He's very proud of his recommendations. It's a good show.

Paradise is a really good show. Like really good. I don't think it's not an all-timer. It is not one of the best shows of all time. That's not how you were talking about the show, dude. You can be a really good show without being one of the best of all time. It is not in the Breaking Bad Game of Thrones tier. It doesn't have that production value.

Hold on. It is down to a 6.5. It's not a 6.6. It is on a mission. He's not a 6.6. 6.6 anymore. Rate this one star. It's a really good show.

But that's not how you were talking about the show. I wasn't talking that it's a really good show. No. You were talking. it's a great show. Season 1, 6.7, season 2, 5.5. We sit down, ladies and gentlemen, we sit down for lunch almost every single

day as a company. We have a big table. We got all 10 or whatever of us. And we just shoot the crap. We spitball. You know, we talk. And shows come up a lot because that's what people do. And Jason could not

the halo glow around you. As you talked about how great this show Paradise was. Which was, was Al Borland's suggestion first. It was. No one paid attention to. Yes. Yeah. And then and then and then Jeremy got super mad because you were trying to take the credit of of Jeremy's show of Jeremy's show. Of Jeremy's show. Because you were the one who was telling everybody to watch it and then it was

going to be. You were the one because oh man. When you're the guy that has the thing. When you're the guy. I brought this show to you. When you're the guy that recommends the show when someone likes that show. Oh man. Spinawads. That's, no, that's a great place to be. I'm doing. I'm going to get. You were trying to be that guy. doing it right now. Spillwatch. Not a sponsor. Go watch Paradise on Hulu. It's great. You're going to really enjoy it. Listen, if you like CSI Albuquerque,

if you like, oh my God. Oh my God. Yes. Oh my gosh. No. It's a really, there's, look, I've made this argument to you, Andy. This is it doesn't have the budget. If I have bunny ears on my TV, can I watch? No,

it's not right in. It is, it is more lost. It is not. CSI SVU If I say CSI He's dead But it's lost This is like a lost show

Which loss was a really good show It's definitely kind of like lost Yeah Anyways where do we Anyways Spilads Watch it enjoy it And then thank me later And if you don't like it

That is totally Not okay Do not rate it And do not come to me with your opinions All right We did watch episode 5 It was better than the other four Yeah, I was only like two episodes in when I started talking about it in luncheon.

Well, I just said, I said, I don't know yet, but I really like it. No, you knew. Okay, you knew. Apparently I did because I continued watching it. It's very good. You knew. I don't watch any shows. He's a hedgehog right now.

And I was like, whoa, do I need to watch this show? Yeah. I don't watch anything. But you'll be fine. And then thank goodness Andy came in with the network television comparison. I was like, oh, I saved so much time. If right now, if right now. Within this reach, Andy was bobbing for apples, I would hold his head up.

I would not let him come up there for a long time. I love. I'm so glad this came up in a show to thousands of years. Our company's Slack channel has been, because we got, we got, we got three dummies against the rest of us who have seen it. Whoa, whoa, whoa, that I have seen it. So Mike has not watched it. Quantify the rest. How many? Mike hasn't seen it. I don't think Josh has seen it. Wait, wait. We got six people at the, up.

Yeah, most of the table seen it and likes it. And then we got... Company select, you guys are listening while we're recording. Schneider loves it. I love it. Josh loves it. Or not Josh, Jeremy loves it. Josh, have you watched it? No, I haven't watched it at all.

Jake likes it. Betts loves it. That's five. Julia Papworth loves it. She's one of the people that got me into it. That's six. So I was already right. And I stopped telling. You do seem to have about 6.5% of 10. Well, look, six and a half at a 10.

every 10 people love it. Yeah. The others hate it. Jay, let me ask you this. On a scale of 1 to 10. Yeah. Okay. Oh, this is a good question. Okay, a scale of 1 to 10. If you go to a school and a grade that you receive back as a 6.5. That's a bad question. How do you feel about that grade?

Letter-wise. What would you say that is? He's just smashing buttons. Check this out. Jason explained. Oh, Jason, wait. No. Jason explained paradise. No, no, Jason Xx to explain 6.5 minutes. Yes, yes.

I just hit that button on accident. All right. So here's the thing. Six and a half out of ten. Explain how it's good to get 6.5. 6.5. Your child locks here with a 65% and they spin it. It's good.

And they say, they tell me I got a 65% on this test. And I say, that doesn't sound good at first. And he says, well, hold up. Everyone else out there when I look at all the tests of all my friends they're all getting at max the best the smartest the brightest the one who studies for everything is getting a 70% Because tests aren't what they used to be Scores aren't what they used to be and I'm starved for a good score okay But it turns out my score is pretty darn good because I got a 6.5 out of 10 and there's no other tests that are worth an 80% anymore

So I love this six and a half I'm so proud of my boy. I'm like I have been waiting for this something that's not a three out of ten. And so that's why I'm proud of my boy getting a six point five because I am starved for something that's not a three. That's amazing. And that's what this show is. You just stamped my buttons and you hit Jason explains. This is an indictment on all other shows. Okay. We are we are show starved and this is you've lost perspective. Got it. All right. We're taking a break. Also for the this is why I don't watch shows for the listening audience that Why are you guys watching shows? The listening audience might not have understood what happened there.

If you're watching, which you should always be watching. We've got a new set. We do. We have a new graphic in the back. I believe it's not a green screen. Is it YouTube.com? Not a green screen. Not AI.

Not CGI. It's just. I. That's right. It is just intelligence. Alborland's intelligence. Is it just spitballers? Is it just spitball or Spipollers pod?

No one knows. I don't know. Al, I'll figure it up. but what happened was... Spipollish.com slash spitballish. Okay. So I didn't want to answer that question. Yeah.

And so Andy's finger was on a button to go to the next segment, I guess to the ad break. Yeah. And I tried to make his hand hit the button. I've got literally 10 by 40 buttons you got hit. You've got 40 buttons. And so I just reach over and hit a button at random on his board. And it was Jason explained. Oh, it suits you right.

But I feel like I crushed that. No, you really did a good job. You really did. I might watch it now. That's a great question. All right. Let's move on here. You are allowed to invent one new lane on the road that everyone must legally respect.

However, your criteria for using this lane must include at least 20% of the population. What are you going to make the entry criteria? This is fun. So on the freeway, there's a new lane that you can add. Okay. But it needs to include at least 20% of the population. So like we have the HOV lane, which lets you drive in it if, you know, you have another person in the vehicle. It's not just one person driving solo.

Okay. This one needs to be 20% of the population. So it could be left-handed people. That wouldn't work, right? Because it's not 20%. So I can't say... Lefties are only like 10% right? Yeah. So that one, you couldn't go lefty. You could do shoe size. Ideally, you're looking for something that includes yourself, obviously, and then keeps it as close to 20 as possible to keep the lane as

so IQ. Empty as possible. Ooh. Nice try. Did you ever? You're not top 20%. I never IQed. I assumed the test would break if I took it. But I don't think I ever IQed, no. So you can't say this is like the auto bond lane.

Hike. Mike, me and you have got to be in the hike. Oh, yeah. Six footers. Six footers only, baby. Six foot plus. Because it's got to be more than 20%. Oh, yeah.

Can you imagine passing this guy on the freeway? We're passing him. on the freeway. Wee. Heads poking out of the top of our cars. My knees are up to my ears. Yes, because we are less comfortable in compact cars.

We need to get home faster. Yes. Yes. Jason's feeling, this is his favorite episode ever. I'm glad that my final scat pal. Happy birthday. Is going well. Yes. Height.

Done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Six foot and above. All right. Well, I'm going to tell you something. I'm in, baby. Oh. You think I'm not.

the top 20% of height on the globe. Oh. Of course, 511. No, we said 6 feet plus. We didn't say top 20%. No, but what if that's not 20%? Is it not? I don't know.

Oh, gosh. I don't think it's way narrower. I think the amount of people, the amount of people that are over 6 foot are not, it's not 20% of population. All right. I'm going bowel syndrome. Oh, it's 15 to 20% of men. Oh, then we're going to 20.

No. Yeah. So you need to go one inch lower. Yeah. 5.11. I think you're right. That's right. Owl.

Eat our dust. I finally separated on height. Do you know what percentage of women are six feet or taller? Give me the percentage because I got it for you. A half. Half a percent. One percent? I mean, that's what I would guess.

Well, under one percent. Okay. Wow. I mean, genuinely, when you see a woman that's six foot, you go, wow, that's rare. Yeah. Because it is rare. What percentage of men? I would guess over six foot.

I would guess 15%. Yeah. I mean, you guess really well. Thanks. Yeah. I don't ever. So if you include all adults,

it's complete, we don't get this lane because it's 8 to 10% of all adults. So weird. 5.11. Man. Like, I'm six feet tall. I'm one of the guys.

Like, I'm closer to 6.1. I'm 6 feet and 3 quarters. But I'm one of the guys like I round down. I say I'm 6 feet. feet tall. Which pisses me off. Because I'm a real. No, but you're well taller

than six foot. Yeah, I actually was going to make the lane 6'1 to leave the 511 liars out of it. But it's I don't feel tall. Like in my in my normal everyday life I don't walk around feeling tall. Now he's even

mad. That makes me that you also don't think you've got good hair. No, I do. Okay. All right. Thank goodness. But you wear a hat every day. Yeah. Because you make the argument all the time that if you had ripped abs and you would not wear a shirt. That is correct. Get your hat off, man. Well, sometimes.

You got John Stamos hidden under a hat. Look, I also don't wear, I don't wear like diamond necklaces and diamond earrings because some things are too shiny. Your hair's too good. Yeah. Okay. Do you understand what I would have to deal with every day? I've got your lane, Mike. I've got something 20 to 30% of adults.

Okay. It's something you qualify for, but me and Jason, don't. Oh, that sounds awful. Try to figure it out. 20 to 30% of adults have this. A good memory? Yeah.

You've got it up and down both your arms. Oh, tattoos? That's really that small? Yes. I feel like we're getting closer to like 30 or 40% of adults. Of adults. 20 to 30% of adults. It's definitely going up.

And it's a club. You've got to earn your way into the club. Well, you earn it by paying somebody to put a tattoo on you, right? Yes. You do have to sit there for it. No, I am aware. People with migraines, 15 to 25%. Oh, I'm in there, too.

I'm not. Everybody on the road that has an active migraine should get their own lane to get home. They should not be driving. They should not be driving. Sometimes it hits while you're driving. Then get off the road. People with allergies, 20 to 30 percent. You could get an allergy.

A sneezing lane? I am crushing this list right now. Mike's got all of them. You are not a majority person. Can you give me a panic and depression? Attached earlobes. Attached earlobes would be 2033. Yeah, where you don't have...

I think that's a new, Jay? Is it? Oh, no, you're loose. No, no. You're dangling. Do we have any... Hey, there's your dangle. Do we have any...

Wait, wait, wait, hold on. No, no. No, he's attached, right? No, let me turn. Turn your head. Go to my solo cam. I think you're attached. I think you're attached.

I've never looked at your lobes. Yeah, you're an attached lobes. You are. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you are. You are. You are. You're in the lane. I'm in the lane, baby. You are! I've never looked at your lobes.

Okay. Well, thank you for that. What's going on with our office? Hey, dozers. What's the lobe situation? Josh is attached. I am not. Okay.

Okay. A couple guys with attached lobes in that lane. Hazel and green eyes is about 20%. Oh, get them out of here. I'm in on that. Oh, you're brown eyes. You're brown. No, I got.

I'm green. I just got the dominant, dominant traits. People who exercise regularly, 20 to 30%. Bro. That's true. If we, hey. That would be an incentive. You want to change America?

Oh my gosh. A lane? You unlock a lane with a workout. It's 24 hour, 24 hour access with a workout. That is brilliant. You do it in front of like an optimist robot. It watches you and it says you've now, you got to wear a whoop. And then you unlock a lane for 24 hours.

That would absolutely motivate me to work out. That would save lives. I feel like you could make it even easier of just like, hey, do. like 50 pushups right here. Oh yeah. Or whatever. Because it's like if you can actually do that, that proves that you do work out. Because I mean, what is the general

male population? Yeah. Of guys who can do real 50 pushups. It has to be extremely low. It's really low. It does change with age. How many you need to be able to do to be considered physically fit. Yes. Yeah. But you could have that number. By the way, this one's for our audience. We'll create

the lane for you. People who listen to a podcast regularly, 30% oh but that's going up yeah it is because we're changing lives with our important show all right next great question for you a new law is passed in every household

now must keep one farm animal indoors like a normal pet oh that's easy choices are cow goat sheep rooster horse pig pig yeah it is pig I was waiting for pig I just

hoping pig wouldn't be here you gotta take pig out because pig is like a pig is i've got friends that have a pig with a dog door and like you were going to say i got pigs in my house my my youngest desperately wants a pet pig desperately my oldest is it overrated though you think yes i think so stinky nasty dirty are they friendly yeah are they are they cuttily yeah they're not they're not they're not they're not the feeling like you don't want to pet a pig. They're not soft and no. No, no, they're hard despite being like a rhinoceros. You'd think, oh, maybe they're cushy.

They're not. Are they firm? They're, they're, they're, they're, they're hair is rough. Oh, okay. You know what I mean? It's not a, it's not a cuddly animal. If you cut a pig out, it's actually pretty easily Highland cow. What is the Highland cow? Look it up. Okay, I'm on it. Is this something you experienced? It, I experienced videos. Are they small? Are they small cows? They're smaller. They're like, oh, my. My goodness, it's so cute. Yeah.

It's like a cow that needs a haircut. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. I receive videos from my wife. Okay, but this just said cow. This just said cow. So we're going to assume like Jersey cow.

Oh, no way. Yeah. Oh, man. Then it's dumps. The rooster can't really be a part of this. Rooster's O-U-T because it's waking you up. And the horse is too big. No, I mean, it's a goat.

It's got to be the goats. You just got to be careful with what all they can eat. I mean, the sheep, though. Sheep seems fine. Oh, I didn't know there was goats. and sheep. Yeah, there's goat and sheep. Much rather have a sheep. Goats eat

everything. Everything. What do sheep even do? Like, if they're just left to their own devices, what do they do? If they're left to their own devices, they just die, right? They've been bred to be protected by, like... Yeah, I think we've... Sheep dogs. I think we've ruined them. Like, we have ruined sheep. Yeah.

They've been over-domesticated. Hmm. Well, that's like any normal dog would just die. would it or most of them every golden doodle out there is dead in a week yes there's some street tough dogs yeah yeah but there's the golden doodles

I don't think they're German shepherds either the poodles are the poodles will die before the end of the day yeah I mean set them free assuming that they cannot be cutely rescued right because anytime there's a golden doodle or a poodle or something on the road be like oh we'll protect you

but like if they were not allowed to be taken in, they would never know how to get food. They'd just be walking around looking for a bowl everywhere. Like, where is my bowl of food? Yeah. Yeah, they're gone. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, a cat, at least

like if you want to have the first ever, like me, take the cat side over a dog, a cat in the wild, yeah, they're fine. They'll hunt their food. Now, if a sheep, if you told a sheep, like, defend yourself, what does it do? What does it do? What is the first action? Does it try to bite? They get in a real big. No, one on one against something. Is it a kick?

No, it just dies. What is it? It lays down. It just explodes. I don't know what it. It lays down and exposes its nap. I'm going out on my own terms. Would a sheep ever try to ram you like a

like a ram? Like would it try to headbut? I don't know. It's really the only thing you could possibly do. That's it. Also, why don't more animals sheep do frequently headbutt as a natural behavior to establish dominance.

Why? Why? Why don't? more animals donkey kick? That's their, that's what they should all do. Donkeys, donkeys just know, like, from birth, they're like, I want something, check this out of my way, donkey kick. Yeah. Well, I mean, why does no one else be called a kick?

Yeah. And then it was like, man, those don't, they started doing it. Horses, horses can kill people with a kick. Yeah, but they don't, they, they're usually just like, they'll just go one because that's all they need. Wait, are donkey kicks always two? Oh, yeah. Really? Oh, yeah.

No, they're not. Yes. No, they're, I'm on it. Donkey kicks. Donkey kicks aren't. Yeah, they are. Front two legs on the ground, back two legs. Oh, yeah.

Just giving you the business. I thought it was like a horse kick. You thinking of a regular kick, bro? No, no, no. It's a donkey kick. What is this? I'm looking for donkey kick. All I'm getting is workout videos.

I would say a horse kick if I wanted one leg. A donkey kick is. Donkey kicks are two legs. Yes, they are. You can picture that in your head. Yeah. Well, I can picture it, but I want to see it. He-ho, two legs.

Oh, no, this guy's going to get donkey kicked. To all. Oh, he's going to get donkey kicked. Yep. He got donkey kicked. That's two legs. And it's not just one. They're like,

they can rapid kick. They're amazing. Yeah, I'm going to send a nice image into the old, into our Slack channel here. Oh, can you throw a donkey kick up on the back wall? Can we do donkey kick the back wall out?

We're talking to a video or a? No, we don't need a video. You got a picture? We don't know what we can do with this set, but we can do anything. I mean, highest resolution picture I've ever sent. I am seeing some donkeys

do a single leg kick. Yeah, but they're not doing a donkey kick then. Yeah, they're just doing a regular kick. They're just doing a little. All donkeys can regular kick, but not all kicks are donkey kicks. This is common knowledge. I didn't know. Thank you.

He's got a donkey kick on the back wall. Look at that. That is a donkey kick. This set is paying off. Wow. Why don't other animals donkey kick? This is, that's like a power. If I was a mountain line, I'm dead. I'm dead.

Our entire screen is a big... It's a donkey kick. In a matter of seconds, that screen became a donkey kick. Good work, deusers. If you find another better donkey kick, I want that up on the screen. Oh, man. I want as many donkey kicks as you can find. We're moving on.

We're taking a break. We're hitting the draft. All right, we are back. We're going to jump into the draft. Our team is working hard on all donkey kick graphics. our new back wall. Let's begin. The Spitballers Draft. We are drafting things that taste better than they smell.

There are things that, well, the one that jumps to my mind right away. Well, you're not first. No, I know. It's not a pick because I don't like it. I don't like how it tastes. So I'm just throwing it out. So it smells bad. But you're going to say something that I think is on my list. I'm just going to say broccoli. Yeah, of course I knew you were going to say that. I love broccoli.

I'm just saying I'm going to draft it later. I walk, and I'm not. That's why I'm ruining it. I walk into the house at home and I know. You know from the moment you get into the house no matter where you're at. Cooked broccoli? Oh, man. It smells like feet. Just fart right in my face.

Yeah, just fart in my face. And they need it. All right. Oh, there's more donkeys. We got another donkey. No, that's one leg. Why did you go one legged? That other back leg.

The second leg's up. Jason's in the way. Jason's blogging. It's not on the ground. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah.

Because he had already, he was just going like. He was beginning to finish the kid. He's going with a pat pat. Okay. No. Dude, you got to get both legs. It is. I like that it's in a realistic bathroom.

You got to get both legs out. Did you AI that thing? No. Okay. No AI. See what AI thinks a donkey cook looks like and let us know. Jason, you have the first pit. Even though I scattered, you get the first pit.

Oh. Well, I guess I won't be drafting broccoli. No, go for it. This is a pretty easy. That would be things that taste like they smell. That's what I think of broccoli. This is a pretty easy one. It's kind of a two-for.

I'm going to draft. Of course it is. Well, you'll understand. Because the thing that tastes really good that I love, I adore, if it's on a menu, I order it,

I'm not going to have a Thanksgiving without it is devil dags. Devil Degs are awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But to make devil dags, you have to hard boil eggs. Yeah, and so it's really hard boiled eggs

that are these, it is. Danky, most ranted. It's the 101. It is like when you boil eggs, you're, you better,

if you got Thanksgiving, don't you make. make hard-boiled eggs that day. You better make it the day before or you're ruining your entire house. It's farts. People just come in and be like, who had diarrhea? Who has egg farts? Yeah. It's a good

pick. And a hard-boiled egg, you don't have to make devil egg. Like a hard-boiled egg is delicious. Just put salt on an hard-boiled egg. It's awesome. Yeah. So that's a great pick. I'm going to go with blue cheese. I'm a fan of blue cheese. Blue cheese is known to smell bad. I mean, it's just

and taste bad. It tastes bad. Yeah. If you, not everybody's in on it. No. But those that are in on it, I feel like they're as passionate about blue cheese as Jason is about mediocre television. No one.

So I just feel like blue cheese. Oh, because I'm plugging more cords. I muted him. You've been muted. I muted them. I've never, I've no Jason 20 years.

I can't get under his skin. I found one thing. Yeah. But, but he's not really passionate about how good it is. He loves it so much more than he's ever said. He's just violently re-reaching. acting when you say it's not great.

It's because it's not bad. And I don't like when it's called bad. Oh. Yeah. Oh. That's AI slop. I know AI slop when I see it. Donkey cat.

That is indeed AI Slop. Also, that dude's face is way too happy to get donkey kicks. No, no, he's not going to be feeling good. So blue cheese, Mike. All right. All right. All right. I got two picks.

Yep. All right. both of these are foods that I've grown into as an adult and honestly one of it was the

spitballers because I guess I didn't really know what it was I just know that the name is disgusting so educational it smells disgusting and then you guys told me what it was and I was like well why would I not like that? I'm going with Sourcrowd. That's a good pick.

Sourcrow is actually delicious. It is. delicious. Tastes good, smells awful. Almost everything in the pickled sour category is delicious. Yeah, but it smells. You guys had pickled eggs? Like the two hard-boiled eggs.

I have not had pickled eggs. I bet I would enjoy it very much. So you were just taking something you do something to and doing more to it. Yeah, I mean, I love pickled things and I love hard-boiled eggs. And the idea of eating a pickled egg is disgusting. Yeah, it doesn't sound great. My mother-in-law made them for something. I don't know. It's been in my fridge for a year. I'll never touch it.

They're like, oh, they're so good. I pickled these eggs. I look at them and I'm like, there might as well be a human head floating in this pickle jar. It's disgusting. Yeah, dude, I saw a gelato flavor the other day at our local gelato place. Right next to the, like, you know, normal flavors. Egg yolk. Oh. That's the flavor.

Interesting. Well, egg yolk. Egg yolk. Tough to say. Hey, if you're a gelato store and you're still open, congratulations. Congratulations. You're up, Mike. You got one more.

Sourcrots number one. And it's a good pick. And Brussels sprouts. Oh, that is. I knew that would be picked. Brussels sprouts. I don't like them, man. Brussels sprouts, when cooked up the right way are, they're not just good.

They're great. That's what a lot of people think. You want to know what you don't know. They smell bad. Yeah, they do smell bad. They smell terrible. It's very similar to broccoli. When you cook them, it smells like farts.

Yeah. It ruins the house. They can be delicious. but one thing I didn't know for the longest time, because I made Brussels sprouts at home a lot, I really enjoyed them, toss them in some olive oil, roast them, whatever. I found out when you go to restaurants, and they're just this elite-level Brussels sprouts. Sugar. No, it's fried. It's deep fried. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're almost always deep fried, like French fries.

You just don't know because they're not, like, battered, and they come out still looking like a vegetable. But it's like, if you at home, if you're listening and you're like, oh, This restaurant, I love their Brussels sprouts. They're deep frying it. Just so you know, you are eating something very unopped. Which is a cheat code because almost anything, you put it in a deep fryer and you're like, oh, it's edible now. I don't know if, I mean, if you deep fried a turd, I'm not saying, I'm not saying you should eat it, but I'll bet if you ever want to do enjoy one, you'd be like, not bad. If you ever have to eat a turd in your life.

You better drop dead in some frying oil. Oh, my gosh. All right. My second pick after blue cheese is going to be canned tuna. Oh, yeah. That was my next pick. I mean, it's really just nothing seemingly appetizing about opening that can of tuna. All of these, all of these. When we talk about like, oh, it tastes better than it smells, this really should just be called smells like a fart. Food that smells like a fart.

That's all this draft is. When you open a can of tuna, you're like, oh, who farted? The can of tuna just farted. It's not, you're not wrong. I mean, genuinely. Man, I was really hoping that I got one of those two. I am taking broccoli. Broccoli is my next pig.

That's a great pig. It's on my list. I love broccoli. I do too. Taste better than it smells. Even though I don't like how it tastes. I'm very much on Team raw broccoli. I love.

Raw broccoli is better than cooked broccoli. I would agree with that. It is the best of the dill tray. That's kind of, see, that's what you did. It is. No, that's what you did. the end, you changed the narrative. You made it a scoop for

ranch, or dill dip, or whatever. You don't want raw broccoli. You want raw broccoli with dill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, because... Well, wait, you want cooked broccoli with nothing on it? Absolutely. If you roast broccoli... With what? Wait, if you roast it. With what? If you

roast it... If you roast it... If you roast it or pan fried, I make it both ways. With... With... Salt and a little bit of oil. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. You say that doesn't count?

It's not as plain as you said. I'm not dipping it into... Remember we just talk about deep frying a turd? When you cook stuff as oil? Hold on, hold on, hold on. So you're telling me that if you cook with oil, not deep fried, but you just... So here's my process. I'm going to take a bowl.

I'm going to put the broccoli florets in. I'm going to put some olive oil, some seasoning. I'm going to toss it all in there. I'll put on a baking sheet. Make it until it browns. It comes out, and I just eat. this single piece of roasted broccoli. You're telling me that I am not just eating broccoli. Correct. That I'm eating broccoli in a dip essentially. Yes. A fancier. I'm in between.

Yeah, I am too. I'm in between. Man, this is that. Although, well, you picked it. You picked broccoli. But also we have to, Josh just shared with us that he would rather eat a piece of plain steamed broccoli over raw with dressing. Because of that, which is. No, no, no, no, no. raw broccoli sucks. I mean, it's just like... No, no, no, but he said raw with a dip. Yeah, but raw with a dip, you still got to chew it for half an hour. Oh, I love raw with a dip.

I would eat those like crazy. Are you kidding? You're over there. You want to eat raw broccoli? Raw broccoli and ranch is elite. It is a guy. I mean, you take the bite and then you come back in a half hour and you swallow it. But you got little baby teeth or something. I don't know what the deal is.

This is the problem with vegetables in general. You have to chew them for too long. You do. That's the fiber. No, it is the fiber. It's the plant cells and you can't break. I got a full-grown man mandible. I handle the broccoli.

It's not a problem. Good for you, Mike. You got one. I got one too. It's a man nandible. All right. Donkey kick. Yeah, where's our next donkey kick?

We've been waiting for the donkey kicks, bro. We just sit here without donkey kicks all the time. Next pick, Jason. Next pick. If you make your pick before the donkey kick, we fire him. Fish. I don't, I don't, I don't love fish, but nothing smells. You are very lucky he went specifically canned.

tuna. Sure, yeah, I guess. Because I would have just said fish, but they're different enough. When you, when you make fish, like when I order fish at a restaurant, sometimes they, like, I have been out with you two gentlemen before and wanted fish, but not wanted to order it because I don't want to ruin your guys' meal. I get it. It literally, I've been the other side of that before where the table next to me is ordering salmon or something. I like salmon. But if I I'm not in the mood for salmon. If I'm not eating salmon or any of these fish and they come out and they bring that stinky fart plate out, I'm like, oh gosh, I lose my appetite.

Yeah. Smells so bad. Having a hard time with this next one. I already went with blue cheese. So I have a cheese in there. I've got canned tuna. You already got hard-boiled eggs, right? Yeah.

I'm going to go Caesar dressing. Excuse me? So I know what he's... Real Caesar dressing. He does not know what he's drafting. Excuse me? He doesn't know what he's drafting. What he's actually drafting is another fish. It's anchovies.

But I get credit for it. Yeah, that's fine. Caesar dressing is... That's why I said real Caesar dressing that has an anchored. It does not smell good. No, it doesn't. It tastes good. It's pungent, though.

It definitely tastes better than it smells. It's a pungent... Maybe I'm not... You're running of the mill. You're a Caesar dressing in a container. Oh, man. Not real Caesar dressing is... Caesar dressing is...

You would smell that? all day long? Yeah, no, I would eat it all day long. Yeah, that's the point. It tastes better than it smells. That's not a bad pick. All right. Antovies are pungent.

They're very pungent. So I'll go. All right. Caesar dressing. Okay, so I have two picks. Yep, you close it out. So I'm going to go with a pick that it smells so bad that I can't even eat it. Although I know.

If you did. Yes. Yogurt. Oh, I. Wait, what? Yogurt is so repulsive smell. Really? It smells because you don't eat yogurt?

Like if you make a smoothie and it's yogurt based. But you wouldn't have like a container of Dannon? No. No. Like Yoplay versus Greek? All of it. Not plain, but even the flavored one. It all smells like rotten milk.

Interesting. Yogurt smells so disgusting. I think yogurt's delicious. Yogurt is delicious. That's not what he's saying. He's saying it smells bad. Did you have a childhood memory? problem here? Perhaps. I'm saying

it has gotten to the point for me where it smells so incredibly bad. I mean, some of these things... I used to eat yogurt. Some of these things are by definition expired, fermenting old stuff. So they should smell, because that used to be the signal to us

to not eat it. And no, this is not frozen yogurt. How, that's not even, how is that? Who said that? Frozen yogurt. Did Josh say that? No, no, no. This is me saying, I'm saying, like, yogurt No, donkey kick. Why are you throwing me under the bus?

I'm saying a, a, a, no, donkey kick. Thank you. There we go. I'm going to be able to call that at any time. I'm saying, like, buying a cup of yogurt versus something that is called frozen yogurt. Like what? Just a marketing trick, brother. Where, at what point has this remained yogurt?

Zero point. Zero point, yeah. They didn't start with yogurt. They didn't finish with yogurt. All right. And then I'm going to go. I'm just getting some fro yo. It's so healthy.

At least this is, maybe this is just a me thing. But Jason, you, you said it well of, it smells farty. A bag of beef jerky. Yeah, some, yeah. Some brands. When you open up a bag of beef jerky, I get farty. What I gets farty in there. All right.

So here's, you get fart. It's not a party. It's fart. It's fart. There is, I mean, it's a staple of road trips. Of course. Staple. Of course.

I don't go on a road trips, but if I'm going on a road trip. I love beef jerky. You bet your bottom dollar. Oh, yeah. Beef turkey. I'm getting the specific brand I like. Get those macros. Get those gains.

That's right. I want lower carbs, even though they all have so much sugar. Don't lie to yourself. And tons of protein, and I'm going to do that. All of my family likes beef turkey. All five of us, we like beef jerky. Open a bag of beef jerky in a car. If we are on a road trip, party.

If you are not the one eating the beef jerky, you get so angry. Yes, sir. If this beef jerky is open and it ruins the car. Now, as soon as you take a bite, it's like, oh, yeah, I'm down with this smell. It smells good. I've never thought of it that way. But before you get that bite, before you taste the beef jerky and you're just smelling it, you're like, oh, gross. It's true.

That is very strange. Yeah. Because you are totally correct. It really angers my family. And if I give them a piece, then it just calms them down. They're like, okay, I get it. That is interesting. Is it my pick?

Yes. Soy sauce. Oh, okay. What goes soy sauce. I think soy sauce smells really weird. I like the way it tastes, but it smells really weird and much worse than it tastes. So I don't mind the smell, but I do agree that it tastes better than it smells. It's not like a smell where I'm like, oh, is that soy sauce?

Dude. Bring that over here. Yeah. low sodium or not? It's not. All right, Jason, final pick for you? Is the low sodium just a trick to make us eat more of the regular

soy sauce? There's so much so much. Because the regular soy sauce is so much better. It is way better. No, it is way better, Jason. It's so much better. It really is. You know why? It's all the salt. Yeah, this is like when you drink diet soda long enough that it tastes good and then you go back to the regular one. That's how the

low sodium soy sauce It's just a ploy to sell more regular. Like if one is like 800 times the daily allotment of sodium and the other one is 600 times, it's still lower sodium. That's good. All right, Jay, you have one more pick. All right. I've got a couple left that I really like. I thought this was going to be a sparse draft for me, but I have leftovers.

But speaking of leftovers, I am taking rotissory chicken leftovers. I don't know if you. It's spelled. so bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It smells objectively rotten. Brand new. I just bought it from the store today. Like the pre-cooked rotisserie chicken. I know what you're talking about. It just smells awful. And for something that tastes so good, it's meat and fresh. And originally, smells so delicious. Yes, yes. If I cook, it's like leftover chicken just smells like it's bad. Even when it's definitely not bad, it's awful. I can't stand. Like it, it, it, it, it, it,

ruins rotissory chicken for me. I don't get it. Interesting. Yeah. I don't have a lot of like honorable mentions. I put shrimp on there, but I don't really like shrimp. Right. It definitely doesn't smell. I put beer on there because some beer smells really weird. So to me, so beer is actually one of those food or drinks that people love the smell. And I think it smells better than it tastes. But wine. Wine you can smell. I went to a vineyard. This was when I was like, I don't know, 20. This is a long time ago. I went to a vineyard and got a tour where they ferment, which is meaning where the grapes rot. Right.

Where all the rotting liquid starts seeping out. And it made me so nauseous. I have never to that, to this day, I have never forgotten the smell of fermentation in wine that is gnarly disgusting. Awful. Never go to a vineyard. Unless you want to dislike wine. Sure.

I have a corned beef hat. Oh, totally. Asparagus for sure, but I already have broccoli. Greer cheese. Yeah, I had aged Parmesan on mine, too. Parmesan for sure. I didn't want to... I didn't want to hit another cheese. I like Parmesan too much to put that on there.

But it does not smell as good as it tastes. What did we learn today? Donkey kick. Yeah, we all learned about the donkey kick. I learned that a... I learned that a... Oh, wait. Oh, look at what is happening there.

Jeremy. That donkey is the size of five humans. Three legs, brother. That's a screenshot from Red Dead Redemption. Ah. Oh, okay. There is a problem with that donkey. The donkey kick is going through the man.

Bad frame rate. Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah. That's his tail, right? That's a tail. That's a tail. That's a tail. Woo!

I learned Jason thinks... Don't go to YouTube.com slash spitballers. There you go. Unless you want to see a donkey kicking with its tail. 6.5 can be good. Thanks for listening to the spitballers podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to,

check out spitballerspod.com.