Spitballers Comedy Podcast - Dragon Diarrhea & Children's Book Character Battle Royale - Comedy Podcast

Episode Date: April 28, 2025

Dragon flight may come with some problems. A great round of What’s the Difference and a hilarious  Children’s Book Character Battle Royale all make for one can’t miss episode.  Re-brand Mondays with some comedy! Subscribe and tell your friends about another funny episode of The Spitballers Comedy Podcast!Connect with the Spitballers Comedy Podcast:Become an Official Spitwad: SpitballersPod.comFollow us on X: x.com/SpitballersPodFollow us on IG: Instagram.com/SpitballersPodSubscribe on YouTube: YouTube.com/Spitballers 

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spitballers Podcast with Andy, Mike, and Jason. It's a bah-da-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-da-da-doo. Okay. A little crooner? Alright. Bah-bah-bah-da-dee-dah. It's a bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada b And then Mike brought it up once. I mean, would you call that crooner, Mike? Yes. OK, there you go. It's crooner. If you saw me driving with a hat and a cigar, you'd be like.

Yeah, that's how you would sound? That's the driving crooner. It was just pretty buttery smooth. They're all smooth, man. That was the thing. Welcome in to the Spitballers episode 324. Would you rather? What's the difference in a Battle royale in today's show?

We'll let you know what it is in a little while. Just don't look at the title. Don't look at the title of the show. Add spitballers pot over on X. Let's kick it off. Would you rather have the speed of a cheetah, but only when barefoot, or the strength of a gorilla, but only when you're holding a balloon? This is a really weird one. It's a really weird one. We're batting lead off with this?

Here's the truth of the cheetah one. That would be the pick, except if I could run that fast barefoot, how do I not injure myself? You would injure your feet. Because I just don't think our feet as humans are as durable as a cheetah's feet. Like, I could not. I don't think.

You don't have a paw. Right, like when I run. And our tendons are not made for. I'm not worried about my tendons. You're worried about the skin. I'm assuming the tendons are gonna come part and parcel with the speed of a cheetah. It's all gonna work.

I'm worried about stepping on glass or stepping on a rock. Oh, yeah, yeah. Anything like that. I can't see where I'm going if I run that fast. It's pretty much you get to run fast in grass. Where else is there a comfortable enough plush footing that you can run long distances? Oh, yeah.

Would you be OK at the beach? Yeah. Sure. Yeah, you could. Beach would be fine. And the chance of stepping on something at the beach is not. On a track is not. I will say this.

It could be really valuable at the beach. because sometimes you go to the beach in the summer and it's like, ooh, ah, ooh, oh, pssst, I'm off. Yeah, if you run that fast, do you feel heat underneath your feet? I don't... I'm going to say no. I would think no. Average speed is 40 miles an hour. That's a cheetah?

Holy moly. I thought it was 60. Well, no, that's the average. Their top speeds, they can go 65 to 75. Yeah, dude running Running even 40 running 40 miles an hour That's awesome that cheetah was by far my favorite animal growing up because of that speed so cool It's fun But see a cheetah lives out in the wild and has to go hunt things

But see a cheetah lives out in the wild and has to go hunt things Where would we ever you like let's say you could run you can just run with shoes on okay new question You got shoes on you can run 40 miles an hour when you just decide to sprint you could sprint 40 miles an hour Would I run to work? Where would you where would you use this would I run to work? No? It's not like you're not gonna sweat would I? Would you run just like for your like local shopping? Like how fast I can do this in the grocery store. No, check me out. No, I just be racing people I'd race people I can race people once because it would be like No, do you don't want to race this guy. What are you talking about?

Once, I could, you think I can't, I don't have to run 40. I can run just barely faster than you. Do you know what, it's like the end of Incredibles. When Dash is running, they're like, go, go, go, no, too fast, too fast, okay, now go. All right. What's with the gorilla holding a balloon situation? I mean, you're essentially one, you have one arm then.

So if you're holding a balloon, you've got one arm. I mean, you're very strong. You got a little bit more than one arm. I don't really know why you're holding a balloon. If you're holding a balloon, I could still use, you know, I could hold a balloon with like two fingers. What do you call that thing there? The string?

No, no, no, no. If I, when you tie a balloon, and then there's the little floppy,y belly button, is that a name? I like that you call that tag. Tag makes sense. I knew what you meant. Like a skin tag? Yeah, but that can't be right.

I don't think it matters. The balloon hole? Bananas? Look, if you have a button. I'm on it. No. Is the gorilla's strength so amazing that it would change my life?

Balloonist. Thank you, Jeremy. I knew I said it wrong. Yeah, gorillas are crazy strong. I want to know how much compared to a human. Can they lift? I mean, are they picking up cars? No.

OK, so we've got somewhere below picking up cars. That's stupid. I'm guessing they're not that strong. It's called a neck. Oh, you're looking up the balloon. I want a fun name. The neck? Some people may refer to it as the nozzle.

That's a little better. Nozzle's good. Nozzle's good. OK, what if I told you, Andy? Grab it by the nozzle. Let's see, so the strongest human weight lifters can only lift around 885 pounds. I'm not sure which exercise we're talking about.

Whereas silverback could lift, oh, a silverback can lift over 4,000 pounds on a bench press. What? 4,000 pounds? They get them into bench presses? I want to see. Yeah, how are they tested? I saw that in the book Congo.

Anybody ever read the book Congo? I saw the movie Yeah, I did. I saw the movie. It wasn't good. That's why I didn't read the book But they the gorillas would crush the skulls of the people. Yeah, but they could do that. They could probably do that Yeah, so they grab you. They cannot take four thousand pounds of pressure. They could just pop your skull and your Do I get one hand of strength then? Well, I mean, Jason's right. You can still have two hands. I was imagining like holding it like a football. No, I think you just you can't let go of the balloon.

But you've got it. I mean, it's like you've got to. Oh, man, that would be a bummer. Oh, you're in the middle of lifting something and you drop the balloon and it comes crashing down on you. Yeah, that's fair. This might be the one time on a serious show like this where this question is too stupid for me to answer.

I'm going to go with the gorilla. OK. Because I think I'll be able to use most of one hand, all of the other. And I'll use strength far more often than I would sprint anywhere. I think knowing that you can actually escape anything would be valuable. Because if you were out hiking or something in an animal camp you litter remember that I don't run from a bear

No, I can run from a bear. Wait, you're out hiking Bear foot. Yeah, cuz have fun running 40 miles an hour on the mountainside I'm building my calluses up if I know I have this super ability just every day you're walking on everything. Yeah Yeah I have this super ability. Just every day you're walking on coals? Barefoot everything, yeah. Yeah, I'll have this drink. On the plus side, if you're the gorilla. I'll just grab the animal coming at me and crush it. You will always have balloons on you. That's true.

You should learn how to balloon animal. They'll call me, well, Mr. Balloon Hands. Why's that guy who's got a balloon? It's Mr. Balloon Hands. No way. Which one did you go with, Mike? Not Mike's turn. I think Jason talked me into the gorilla. Oh my gosh. I'm just, I'm balloons everywhere. Grady from the website, would you rather be able to write flowers? Wait, wait, wait, wait,

wait. Does it say, does it say that the balloon has to be inflated? Did it say it? Oh mama. Because I can loophole this. Yeah. I'll put a balloon right on my finger. Yeah baby. I'm super strong. Don't take the balloon off my finger. Is a balloon a balloon if it's not inflated? Yes. Yeah, I'll buy a bag of balloons.

It's a deflated balloon. Hell yeah. There's no other name for it. I got, who submitted this question? That just doesn't feel like it. We don't know. Oh, it does say inflated. It says inflated balloon. Oh, it does? Yeah. Oh, it's in big bold letters. Who submitted this question? That just doesn't feel like it. We don't know. Oh, it does say inflated. It says inflated.

Oh, it does? Yeah. Oh, it's in big bold letters. Did you change that? Yeah, I did. Grady from the website, would you rather be able to write flawlessly in any font? That's pretty cool.

Wait, so hand write in any font? Or speak in any accent? But not the language, just the accent. Are we talking like I'm speaking English, but I will then have an accent? Yeah, so you can speak in a Scottish accent. You can speak in a British accent. If you have a British accent, you sound smarter.

People take you more seriously. Sometimes. I would say most of the time. I would say the vast majority of the time. Maybe not overseas, but in America. If I was a judge in a courtroom and I had two lawyers and one has the British accent, guilty. I trust him a lot more.

Whatever he says, I believe. Yeah, I get that. So here's the- Piers Brosnan talking to me in the courtroom. Here's the problem with the handwriting. The handwriting flawlessly in any font is the stupidest thing ever, and let me tell you why. Why? Because at the end, it looks like I typed this up.

Yes it does. Yes it does. All I did was slowly type it up. In the end, I'm ending with a printed piece of paper. I had the same thought. Except it took me four times as long. I can type like 100 words a minute. Right.

I could write like four. We're not talking just typed, or you could write just four. We're not talking typed. You could write real big. You could do something on the wall. You imagine if you just scribbled on a little notepad and handed me a little Comic Sans note? How stupid. I would never.

You're kind of a Comic Sans guy. Don't you put that evil on me. I don't know. You kind of look like a Comic Sans guy. If you're going to be insulting, at least go like Impact. Don't Comic Sans me. What's wrong with Impact? Impact is still a low tier. Impact is the meme font. Okay Papyrus. Oh Papyrus. I'm not Avatar. Yeah. No I'm Avenue Next. Okay that's my font.

I don't even know the name of it. We all know I'm Helvetica. I'm something boring. You're a maybe Times New Roman. Yeah. Times Old Roman. I'm Times Old Roman. Just insulting people with fun. I'll do the accent. I think that that's just more exciting. Well, you do a pretty good Scottish accent.

No, no. Yeah, you do. Watch, listen. Spinwads want to hear it. Something to say. OK, so. I'm Scottish. Yeah, you wanna you wanna

Yeah, that's what he said oh boy you don't even need that one Ian from patreon remember your Australian Do your Schwarzenegger. Sworn. What? What? What? What? Get down, get down.

Get down. Yeah, that's much better. Oh, sorry Eddie. Get down. Ian from Patreon, would you rather people think you are always lying or always being sarcastic even when you're not? Oh man.

I've run into the second one before. Yeah? This was an actual problem for me in high school. Like an intervention level problem. It is a massive problem at my house right now. The sarcasm? Yeah, my kids. Oh, I love it.

The sarcasm? Dude, saying words funny is really underrated, and we need to do it more. No, but like all three of my kids, literally the last few days, I've had to stop and say, guys, not everything has to be a sarcastic remark. It's a little boy who cried wolf situation?

Where I'm like, hey, do you want some water? Do I look like I want some water? Like, oh my god, just answer the question. Just answer the question just answer the question man you're driving me nuts yeah I look like a fish yeah uh oh gosh but if you sarcasm but if you always if people always think that you're lying that is worse way way worse I mean you then but then you just lie would you I mean sarcastic you might be interpreted as a butthole. Yes.

But liar is worse. You're interpreted as a liar. Like that is the thing. Unless it's like a playful thing. Like some people playfully lie all the time, Josh. You know? Yeah. Where they're just like, they say thing.

See, that's not lying. No, I know. I think it's more of an embellisher. But if you believe it. Yeah. If you believe facts about yourself that are wrong, is that embellishing or lying? I think it's embellishing. It's neither. Really? If you believe it's true.

Lying has to have intent, right? Right. So it's not lying. So it's embellishing. I don't even... Embellishing doesn't have to have... Yeah. Really? Yeah. When you embellish something, you're like, I'm trying to doesn't have to have yeah, really? Yeah, and when you embellish something You're like I'm trying to make it sound better than it is But what if you believe it in your own you don't think you don't think that you could be embellishing something unknown to you Like that I could accidentally embellish you could I guess you could can you accidentally lie? No, no, not really cuz lying is it takes intent. It's an act.

You can accidentally not tell the truth. I don't think you can accidentally embellish. Okay, well we've gone full circle here. Hahaha. Yeah, I don't, maybe. Yeah, you don't want to be a liar. But that would be misremembered. If you were known as a liar.

That would, that sounds... And no one can trust you, no one around you can trust you, I feel like people would just call me Falcon. You know what I mean? They'd be like, I can't. I'm untrustworthy, a schemer, I have to be really careful around this person.

Now Josh, you say you can't play any social deception games because you get voted out? Yeah. Does that mean because you're too convincing? Yes Oh, he's too good. He's the best. I'm the I'm the best at social I can't even play those games. Too good. I'm too good at these games, everybody. I'm not allowed. My friends won't let me play.

Oh, man. Oh, man. Wait, you've got to go. I feel like he's red right now. Or can we put? Yeah, there we go. Yes, perfect. There he is.

If you're watching the Spear Ballers podcast on YouTube. He took all of the Falcon. He took the brunt of the Falcon jokes. Because we were at lunch, and Josh was- Oh boy. Embellishing. Well, no, Josh was just being Josh. But then we brought it to his attention

how much he is actually Josh. And he decided that he's like, I don't want to do that anymore. Oh. He can't stop. He can't stop. It's just- it's't want to do that anymore. Oh. He can't stop. And he can't stop. It's just who he is, man. That's why I said maybe you could be like a playful liar. Like, if everybody knows that you're

the goofball that always lies, maybe that could be. I mean, we're all going to take the sarcasm. Yeah, I'm trying. It doesn't matter. Either way, you have no friends, if you're either of those people. That's fair Leslie submits this question to us from the website. Would you rather have the ability to become a dragon? Oh here we go at will

Which sounds awesome? Or be able to summon two dragons that will completely under your control adult dragon This matters. Of course adult dragons. What do you mean? I just said dragons. Yeah. It would specify. You don't ever say adult dragon, you just say dragon. You say baby dragon. Yeah. If you just say a dragon, of course they're like. Oh, I got you. I said dragon, but it was. Are we adolescent? It's an egg. Adolescent? Just saying. When you're talking to a genie, you've got to be very specific.

All three dragons, so the two that you could summon or the one that you become, are all adults. Are you a human-sized dragon? OK, so you're becoming a human-sized dragon. You are a full-blown dragon. But here's the thing. This is a very, very definitive answer for me. I think it is for me too,

but I'm curious if anyone's on the other side so that they can convince me. Well, we may be on the opposite. I have more dragon questions. I will 100%, I want the two dragons. Oh, I am on the other side. I get to fly because I'm flying on a dragon. Sure, don't fall off.

I know that- No, I won't. I know I won't because every single person They'll catch with their what mouth that they're trying. Oh, they'll fly underneath I've got a backup dragon to catch me. He could fly underneath the other dragon at all times to catch me I'm sure if you fell off the first dragon flying at 45 miles an hour here is you're falling off the dragon 100% every movie movie, every show, every book, there aren't people plummeting to their desks off of dragons. They're just fine. Look, Daenerys makes it look easy, but that's fake.

This would be real. You don't know how to train your dragon, okay? I'm just saying. You get companionship, you get a friend. Yeah, you do. They're your friends. You get two dragon friends. You know how much money it's gonna cost to feed those dragons? Yeah, they eat a lot. That's fine. They're your friends. You get two dragon friends. Do you know how much money it's gonna cost

to feed those dragons? That's fine. I'm pretty sure they can find food. They're dragons. They can, but then eventually they figure out, the people figure out they're your dragons. Yeah, they're gonna come calling, where's my cattle?

Pay me for my cattle, they're gone. Well, then the dragons eat them. It's fine, I'm in power, I'm good. So now you understand what happened with Daenerys. Yes, and now people are sick of losing their you'd call me the dragon dragons I'm the dragon king and you're the dolphin king And then and then people start attacking your dragons eventually the people will kill the dragons Better them than killing me, the dragon. Well, when it's you, the dragon, you

could choose to not eat people. Yeah, and you can choose to. You know that people, when dragons come around, they don't go, oh, I wonder if it's a nice dragon. They go, let's kill the dragon. That's what happens. This is why I was asking. I said I had more dragon questions.

All right, give me your dragon question. Mike, which dragons are we talking about here? Cause dragons in like, in Chinese lore, whenever time chat GBT would create out of a picture, if you said, show me a dragon. Yeah. And we're not talking Chinese dragons, like there's Euro dragons and then there's Asian dragons. They're not the long ones with people inside. Why not? Because that's not a dragon Mike. It is a dragon It is a dragon if I say you're a giant lion in the middle of the in the middle of the plains You don't go is it a mountain lion? You just you know what everyone does know what when we say a dragon, you know

No one here pictured a Chinese dragon Daenerys was not riding the Chinese dragon like we've been talking about. I Will say that there's questions. There is a lot It is less likely that a Chinese dragon would need to be murdered. Yeah, they're nice. Right? Oh, I'm Summoning these two dragons at will which means I can summon them which means I don't have to feed them Well, do they eat when they're unsummoned? Where do they go? They're always full when I summon them Yeah, I think that's gonna see reports on news like village rated again 20 more humans are gone. I think I think Andy's right there if you if you summon them and then you know disappear them It's like a pokeball. Yeah, they're just coming back at full strength. If you summon them and then disappear them.

It's like a Pokeball. Yeah, they're just coming back at full strength. They're just sleeping and filling their meters while they're in another world. I'll be like, smoke and stack, get out here. So I was on the I wanna become a dragon side because I want to fly. Okay, you could say, oh, I get to fly.

You can do that now. You could jump out of an airplane. You could fly in an airplane. I've flown at 30,000 feet. Yeah, well, you're not doing the flying. Oh, okay, well, I'm not doing the flying if I'm riding on a dragon either. I thought you were saying you wanted to turn into a dragon.

No, I'm saying I do. I want to turn into a dragon because I want to fly. I want to feel the wind beneath my wings If you could transform into an eagle or summon one dragon, which would you choose? So the wind beneath your wings is only a partial yeah, I mean that's just like if we're talking dragons I'd rather be one than summon one but summoning two. I Don't know. Is there any real advantage? Not unless I'm going to war. To have more than one dragon?

Yeah. Yeah, where would I be like, man, that dragon I summoned, he just couldn't do it. And why would you need? If only I had two dragons. Why would anybody need two dragons? War, I mean, then? Okay, I've got an army to defeat.

I guess a backup dragon in case one gets sick. Oh, can I? Or has to poop or something? Oh, yeah, you don't want to be under a dragon poop. Now, if I am the dragon, I can aim that thing. I can go right over Andy's house and be like, your pool's going to get destroyed. The benefit of you becoming a dragon is pooping on people?

Just laying a bomb. That's a good nickname. I'm emptying your pool. Like, yeah, I'm going to be up top going, cannonball! I mean, do we have precedent on dragon? Do we know if they don't just incinerate? They might just incinerate their waste. Internal incineration.

No, no, the fire's in the mouth. Yeah. It's not in the... If you watch... What if a dragon eats Chipotle though? It's not just in the mouth. Well, then it's gonna have diarrhea. Yeah.

Now you've got a real big problem. Now I get to spray it around even further. How did we get here? How did we get here? Yeah, I'm definitely becoming the dragon. The poop thing. Cause of the poop thing. The poop put me over the top.

Mike, your final answer? Or do you have more questions? My questions are... How did we get here? Yeah, I'm definitely becoming the dragon. Because of the poop thing. The poop put me over the top. That's going to be awesome. Mike, your final answer? Or do you have more questions? My questions are not all about Chinese dragons. Dude, they're awesome. They're cool dragons, too. Nobody's saying that other dragon versions are bad. We're just saying that people know what a dragon is.

Yeah. That's all. That's all we're saying. I don't think your original thought, when it was like you could turn into a dragon and you went well hold up well I mean you did you're like yes don't yeah I got people people have questions they have questions I will I'm gonna turn into a dragon okay it wouldn't be bad my man let's fly around together yes poop on Andy's house are you giving people rides?

No, neither. No, you could become a dragon. You're not giving a ride. Well, I will absolutely give her Oh for like for money. Yeah, but the thing is is that means I could turn away from being a dragon Yeah at any time. Oh, no, so I could just take and drop them. Yeah, and then turn back into a dragon I'm sorry Want me to catch you now flying flying. Oh man. Alright. We'll take a break. Got another segment for you, whether you like it or not. What's the difference between me and you? What is the difference? Between lying. Oh gosh.

Embellishing. Embellishing. Now, what is the difference between a, between craving, wanting, and needing. Okay. Craving is specific. Craving is... What? We have want and need in here and you're starting with a different one? Want versus need is the easiest layup of all time. Well then this will entirely be the easiest layup of all time. Yeah, I think it's all easy. Go ahead.

Well, I mean, craving is only for one thing wait what you crave something specific I Craving chocolate, but you crave a want Can you crave a need? No, I mean you could crave a need. I'm craving water while you can't crave water You can't crave water. You can't crave water. No craving is a luxury You can't crave water. You can't crave water? No, craving is a luxury. Ooh.

A craving is something you have the privilege to crave. A man without food or water does not crave. No, that's probably true. They need them. Yeah. So you cannot crave needs. You can't. I don't think so.

No. Because if you need it, you're not craving it. I've got a craving for air. I've got a craving for air. A real hankering for some oxygen right now. Yeah. Okay, that's, I mean that is a. Craving is more intense than wanting.

Craving is much more intense. Yeah, that's the more like, I want a cookie, I'm craving a cookie. One of them. It's just stronger. It's just stronger. Okay, and need is, clearly, I mean we all know what need is. I think this one's pretty good.

Yeah. Yeah. This one's for Mike, though. For a man of many questions, please help us. What is the difference between a robot, an Android, and a cyborg? Ooh, Mike. OK.

I feel like Mike knows the answer already. Mike probably knows this. So I mean, a robot is fully mechanical. OK. Cyborg is, I believe a cyborg is part. Is that for cybernetic organism? I believe so. A cyborg is like, you're still part human,

you're also part machine. And an android, I believe, is a robot designed to be a human. Yes. Is that correct? Yes, an android. But it's fully robot. a robot designed to be a human. Yes. Is that correct? Yes, an Android. But it's fully robot. It's fully robot, but designed to look like and be

like a human or like a phone. Or to pass as a human. Just to be clear then, all androids are robots, but not all robots are androids. Correct. That's true? That is true. And so cyborgs have some organic material.

Yeah, and it doesn't have to be human. I was going to crack the mic on that. Oh, OK, that's fine. You could be a cyborg dog. Yes. Dragon. You know? Oh, a cyborg dragon?

A cyborg Chinese dragon. You could. You know what a dragon is, Andy. Man, we are crushing these. So Android, then, is just a humanoid-flavored robot? Yeah, because think about your Roomba. That's a robot. So Data from Star Trek was an android.

Correct. He was an android. But the Borg were cyborgs? Oh gosh, they were called the Borgs. Hold on, did we just figure something out? Whoops. The Borg were cyborgs. The Borg were Borg?

Da. Wow, I'm dumb. What happens when something becomes so ubiquitous that it changes the meaning? Like, Android, when I hear Android, I'm thinking of a phone. There's no human aspect to that. Are they allowed to hijack that?

So, then we need to call them something different. They're subservient to the original meaning. Okay. Now, will at one point an Android operating system run on a real Android? Is the real question. Ooh, I would say likely. It seems like that's going to be the case, right?

Probably, yeah. Now, did you say Android has to be a humanoid? Yes. Yeah. So unlike Cyborg, which could be other animals, Right. in Android camp, you can have an Android dog. Correct. No. That would be a robot dog. A robot dog. Yeah, a robot dog.

Okay, okay. What is the difference between sanitizing, disinfecting, and decontaminating? This is gonna give me some work, guys. Yeah, this one, okay, now we got the hard balls. Oh man, long words, lots of letters. Sanitizing, disinfecting long words, lots of letters. Sanitizing, disinfecting, and decontaminating.

Decontaminating has poop or throw up in it. Oh, really? It's got contaminants. Yeah, but it's gross. But you also have to disinfect. It's not just germs. It's not just virus or bacteria. See, to me, deccontaminating is disgusting.

Huh. If you're decontaminating it, something gross is in there. Like, you can disinfect something you can't even see. A counter can look clean and you can disinfect it. You can't decontaminate a counter. If something is contaminated, it has become... Bad has been mixed into it.

Bad has been mixed into it. No, and not just bad, gross. Gross. Gross has been mixed into it. Bad has been mixed into it. No, and not just bad, gross. Gross. Gross has been mixed into it. No, wait. So you could contaminate, like if I had a- It can't just be surface level then, right? No, if I had a box of-

No, it can't. Oh wait, it can't? I don't think so. If I had a box of cereal and you peed in it, would it be contaminating? Yeah, oh yeah, very contaminating. Because that's in the cereal now. Good luck decontaminating that.

So if you have to decontaminate, that's a throw out. You have to throw it out. That's a throw out. So decontamination involves throwing things away. Well, decontaminate. Not just spraying them or sanitizing them. No, if you throw it out, you're not decontaminating. But the room, you take the bad thing out of the room,

the room's decontaminated. If there's a poop in the room and I remove the poop. Sure. Did I decontaminate? 100%. Then I spray, spray, spray. That's disinfecting. Right, because you're going to have leftover particles you

can't see. And what about the sanitizing, though? Yeah, sanitizing and disinfecting. These are siblings. They're not cousins. You know what I mean? Disinfecting and sanitize. Disinfect.

Take away the infection. Sanitize. That's a positive way. It's a positive spin. Yeah, so no disinfecting and sanitize, disinfect, take away the infection, sanitize. That's a positive way. It's a positive spin. Oh, no, disinfecting. I'm doing something. I think you hit it. Disinfecting, it's related to an infection, right?

Where sanitize is just germs that they could become an infection. You're right, Mike. I don't know, it's right there in the word. No, it's right there in the word. Oh my gosh. It's almost like the words are made to tell us what they mean. I mean, disinfecting means it's infected.

Sanitizing is pre-infection. Yeah. To make sure you don't have an infection that you need to disinfect. Right. You got to sanitize the cut, or it would get infected. Right. And if you take a dump on the cut,

you're going to need to decontaminate. OK. All right. I'm listening to the deucers out over there. We know what the difference is between words. Are we helping out a lot? No. What?

What are we getting wrong? Fire them. Let me guess. You know more about it than I do. All of it. It's all wrong. What are we getting wrong, Josh? Yeah, tell us.

So the first thing is, when you decontaminate something, a contamination can be inorganic. It's not an organic thing. So it's not always for germs. Oh my gosh, turn his microphone up. It's poop and pee, Josh. It's poop and pee. It's poop and pee.

You can have a lot of contamination. There's a lot of things that can contaminate something. Yes, there are three things I said too. There's poop, pee, and throw up. OK. There's three different things that can contaminate something. I mean, you remember the movie E.T.? Yeah.

No. Yes. I'm sorry to do that. They had to do some decontamination in that movie. Remember that? Remember they'd set up all those big tubes? Where they decontaminated? And you'd have to go into a decontamination chamber. I think they were sanitizing. Yeah, they were sanitizing for sure. But don't you have to go through it?

Like, if you were out walking around on a planet that was full of bad stuff, then you gotta go back to your hideout. No one's sick yet. That's what they call it. No one's sick yet. Nothing's gross yet. You don't wanna bring anything back. So you sanitize it.

You go into a decontamination chamber. Are you sick? Am I right, John? Are you sick in that chamber? No, I'm not, because I got a suit on, but I don't wanna bring it in. Exactly, is it gross? Is it gross in that chamber? Are you gross?

I don't- Do you have pee-poop or vomit on you? No. Then you're sanitizing, it's a sanitation chamber. All right, we- I think it's any hazmat situation, anytime there's a hazardous material. We're not looking for real answers here. Yeah. What is the difference between a catchphrase- I think you're confused hazmat situation. Anytime there's a hazardous material. We're not looking for real answers here.

What is the difference between a catchphrase? I think you're confused what this show is. Yeah, you guys are getting upset over there. This is not science. We are giving you. This is truth. Truth, not science. Get your facts out of here.

What is the difference between a catchphrase, a motto, and a slogan? OK. Oh, here we go. A motto is for a not-for-profit organization. Really? I don't know. I figured a slogan is for profit. I was trying to figure that out. Catchphrase is just a person. A person's got a catchphrase. Yeah, for sure. A motto is like... A motto isn't that something you live by? Like a slogan is

like a tagline, but a motto... Do you live by a motto? I think you live by a motto. I think you do. You can't have paid a companyline, but a motto. Do you live by a motto? I think you live by a motto. I think you do. You can't have paid a company to give you a motto. You come up with it. Right. You know, a Lannister always pays its debts. That's the motto.

That's a family motto? Yeah. Yeah. I'm with that. So a slogan, though, that's got to be paid for. Do you pay an advertising company to get you a slogan? If you have to pay in one of two ways, you either pay to receive it or once you come up with it on your own,

you pay to proliferate it. You are trying to get the slogan out there. Are you trying to get people to turn it into their motto though? There's a slogan, a motto before. Like the best a man can get. That's a slogan, right? Yeah, that's a slogan and I don't think you could turn that into a motto. No.

I don't think a motto is from the a slogan, and I don't think you could turn that into a motto. No. I don't think, a motto is from the heart. You live by a motto? Yeah. That's why I was thinking like a not-for-profit organization. That word is not making sense anymore. No, motto. Yeah. No, I know, it's a motto with you.

Motto. What? It's like, that's all I could think of, but I didn't want to make the joke. The word, once you say motto enough. So the Boy Scout motto is to be prepared. Exactly. That's what we're going to live by. Be prepared. Exactly, that's what we're gonna live by.

Be prepared. That motto. But be prepared could be a slogan too. What if? Well, for like Tums. Yeah, yeah. Tums, be prepared. But the words can mean different things,

but a motto is like how you wanna live. But if I was the Tums guy, and every time you're like, hey Mike, can I have a Tums? I say, be prepared. That's my catchphrase. When life gives you lemons. That would be your catchphrase. You got jammed.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. What is that? Motto? That's a slogan. That's more of a, I think, a slogan. That's none of these. That's none of these. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, that's a. What,'s more of a... That ain't a slogan. That's none of these. I don't think it's a, yeah. That's none of these. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, that's a...

What, an idiom? Yeah, yeah, it's an idiom. Catchphrase? A catchphrase is like... It probably started as a catchphrase. Yeah, somebody started saying it a lot. Yeah, and they're like, oh, we got these lemons. It was like, I gotta make lemonade.

What is the difference between remembering, recalling, and reminiscing? Reminiscing has to be dwelling on the past. Yeah, but reminiscing is always positive. Yes. You don't reminisce on bad times. Oh, do I not? No, you don't. You can remember bad things that happened. I got in a car accident when I was 17. Do I reminisce about that? No. I was reminiscing about that car accident. Yeah. No, I don't. I was reminiscing about that car accident. No, I don't. Reminiscing is the good old days. I can remember the car accident. I can recall it.

Absolutely. So then what's the difference between recalling and remembering? I don't know if there is one. So here's my thought that it might be. I feel like when I remember something, I remember this fact. I remember this. But if I've I'm just, I remember this fact, I remember this. But if I've gotta work hard to remember it, like I've gotta recall it.

I've gotta think, and it's gonna take me a while, and then I recall. Does Mike have a good memory or a good recall? He's got a good memory. He doesn't, it doesn't take him any effort. Is he remembering things from the 90s, or is he just recalling things that? No, when he recalls is when he has to stop

and think real hard, which is very rare. You think recalling is harder than remembering? I do. Is that what you're saying? Is what I'm saying. I think recalling is more difficult. Is, or is it just you're being more rude about it? Because you're like, when I wanna prove you wrong,

if I'm like, hey, I remember it differently, or I go, I seem to recall that you did like, I'm telling you, I remember what happened, but I'm being, but I'm rude about it. So you think it's more rude to say I recall this? Yes. Than I remember this? Yes.

So remember, maybe there's more- It's not I recall this, it's I seem to recall. Yes. When you say I seem to recall. Oh, you can misremember, you can't misrecall. That's right. Recall is infallible. So if you recall something, is it infallible?

It's infallible. You cannot recall something wrong. Did that help at all, Deucers? Let's try this again. Let's try it. If you can't recall something wrong, why would somebody say, if I recall correctly? Because you know you're right.

Oh, yeah. This is all part of the word game, Jer. Okay, then yes, I learned something. You're saying, I remember, and the fact that you don't remember makes you an idiot. If I recall, your pants fell down. Oh, which I'm reminiscing about that right now. You're not, you can't, it was bad for you.

Oh man, so I can reminisce about something that happened to you that brought me entertainment, even, it was bad for you. Oh man, so I can reminisce about something that happened to you that brought me entertainment, even if it brought you sadness. And I'm gonna have to remember that. It's the good old days. Oh, so if you trip and fall, or let's do it less hypothetical.

Oh yeah, Jer. If you throw a pass to Jeremy Alborlund. That was five years ago. And you remember it like it was yesterday, don't you? I can't reminisce about that at all. And we threw him an easy to catch pass. And he fell. He fell like a bag of potatoes.

And so we often reminisce about that, but you do not. Yeah, that's right. No, I remember it. But you recall it, don't you? No, I remember it. Yeah, he remembers it. Okay. You remember it like it was yesterday.

Remembering is easy. All right, I think we did it. It's time to draft. The Spitballers Draft. Well, it has been a long while since we've done a battle royale draft, but the three of us have stepped back into the arena, and we are drafting children's book characters to form a team and we'll battle each

other to the death using these characters and I will be honest with you this one's pretty tough it's pretty tough because a kid's book character, not normally violent, not normally. Some are. I mean, rarely are they not mild-mannered. Yeah. That's the big challenge. And also in a fight, you know, you're going to need some power. It's hard to find real powerful children's book characters.

But we're going to give it a go because that's what we do. And Mike, you got the first pick. You seem so confident. Because sometimes you have a character in a book. Sometimes they're big. Sometimes they're bad. Sometimes they can puff, and they can puff, and they can blow your house down.

I'm taking the big bad wolf, baby. Don't build no houses out of sticks in this fight. It was on my list It would have been drafted by me. It's a great pick. It's a wolf. You want a wolf in the arena? Yeah, I will I will bring up that this wolf if you really think about it It would blow the house down and then it let them get away and build another whole house Yeah, it couldn't blow why did they get to build a whole house? You could have eaten them anytime they're building. Yeah, and it couldn't blow down. Why did they get to build a whole house?

He could have eaten them anytime they're building the house. Yeah, and he couldn't have. Well, he wasn't around for the building. So he blows it down, and then they run off. And then can't catch a pig? Oh, your wolf can't catch a pig? Oh, he can 100% catch a pig. He's just a little cocky here.

If we drafted a pig, we'd be safe. Yeah. No, only if you draft the pig who builds out of brick. That's true. All three, the pig that built out of straw was totally safe. Because of the guy who built out of brick. So long as we don't wear a red coat, we are fine. Let me ask you one question real quick.

How many pigs did he eat in the story? Yeah, there's three of them. A lot of chances. How many? In that particular event, none. Okay. But that's because of the events prior, it's not a problem. He toys with the bigs and he eats them. All right, all right.

He's big and he's bad, guys. He's big bad. He's big bad. All right, big bad, big bad. Big bad wolf is off the table. Jason, you have picks to make. I have picks to make and I'm gonna take some magic in my First pick okay

I'm going to cause some chaos I'm gonna have fun doing it. Oh, I'm taking the cat in the hat. Oh Yeah, like of all the children's books Characters that would be you. Thank you. I feel like you might be the cat in the hat I love chaos is also the Jim Carrey of children's books. I love magic and- The Mike Myers of children's books. Yeah.

Nice. Oh, he was? Okay. Yeah. Should have been Jim Carrey. It would have been a better movie. It would have been a better movie. Okay, cat in the hat.

All right, I like it. I will go with- Is the cat magic or is the hat magic? Either way, he's got it. No, no, I'm not. I think it's the cat. I will go with is the cat magicers the hat magic either way. He's got it. No, no I think it's the cat I do how much how much time though in the fight with us in the arena Will you spin just like using your powers to tidy up? That's the end. He's making a huge mess So the arena will looks like perfect at the end at the area So the arena will looks like perfect at the end at the area hands beforehand it's gonna be a

Also, the arena like personnel want the cat and they had to win. Yes, they're ready for the cleanup They're rooting for me for sure. All right, I got two picks. I'm taking I'm not taking the big and the bad I'm taking the big in the red. Yeah, I'm taking Clifford the big red dog. It's huge. It's so big It's bigger than a house. It's like a dragon on land. Yeah, it's he's he's a puppy, right? He is a puppy, which is probably worse. I've had labs and when labs grow up, they're lazy, they're calm, they want to lay down when you got a lab puppy. There's a whole brother. There's

a chance he tries to play over with the whole time he's playing. I'm gonna be so big that if you play if you play with him? The cat in the hat is going to be riding your Clifford. I will be taking him on as my pet. I'm going to rub him behind the ears, put a little magic out there, and I'm going to have him trample everyone else. How much can the cat in the hat do?

I don't know. Did you draft Harry Potter? What did you draft? I don't know. No one knows. Okay, no one knows, right? No. He's a cat inside a hat. And is the cat the one with the magic,

or is that thing one and thing two? No, they come out of the hat. Yeah, they're just separate. Do they come out of the hat? Which I thought about drafting. I thought about drafting those. I will go with, I'm going to go with the wild things. Oh, that was my next pick.

That was my next pick. You get one. You get a wild thing. I was wondering if I got one or not. Yeah, you get a wild pick. You get one. You get a wild thing. I was wondering if I got one or not. Do I get a pack of wild things? No, you don't get a wild thing. You both think I get a wild thing? Yeah, you get a character.

Fine, I will take a wild thing. Yeah. It's a monster. For sure, for sure. And they're pretty creepy looking. Oh, they're amazing looking. That is very sharp teeth. That book is my favorite children's book That book is my favorite children's book.

That is my favorite children's book. I read that to my first son. So much, no joke, had the entire book memorized. I could just show him the pictures and turn the page. It was like every day for years. It is. It's pajama time for us. Oh, really?

Did you ever do pajama time? No. Oh. Oh, that book? Yeah, you're lucky. Yeah, I think ours was like Pout Pout Fish. Oh, I know that one. But that's not a great draft pick.

Jason, you have the Cat in the Hat. You are back on the clock. I have Clifford and a wild thing. Mike with the Huffin and the Puffin. Yeah. Well, the Cat in the Hat wants a friend. Oh, no. Cat in the Hat wants a. Oh, no cat in the hat wants friend. That's uh

Very nearby universe a little bit more magic a little bit more mischief and a lot of mustache. Give me the Lorax. Oh Yeah, where I thought we were going I wish I knew more about the Lorax about the Lorax I think he's got like some forest What hours or he? I think he's got like some forest What is he doing? He tries to protect the... Do you know what he does? I've seen the movie. I know he's...

You like the mustache. I love them. I love the mustache. Look, DeVito rocks in that. I do not... I do not know anything about the Lorax. He lives in the forest. Deucer's way in if you know more about the Lorax. He lives in the forest. He's like... He's supposed to be the voice and the protector

of the trees. And then the mean companies come in and they cut all the trees down okay speaks for the tree yeah there you go he speaks for the tree but in a battle setting meanings meaning manipulating or summoning natural forces vines trees roots to entangle trap or attack opponents that's according to I I have done a Google search I don't want to get into. But apparently, the Lorax... He focused on the mustache. Has been banned in some locations

because of its negative portrayal of the logging industry. I told you the whole thing is the big bad machines come in and cut down all the trees. OK, you've got the Lorax. You're more like a... you would hold up like a anti-logging sign during the fight. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

I will protest. He'll climb in that tree. He'll stay there the whole time. OK, OK. All right. Mike, you got two picks. I thought this is where you were going, Jay, of mischief. I don't know that I'd call him a magical guy.

I don't think that he's got magic. But he can be very strong when his heart gets real big. I'm gonna take the Grinch. Yep, that's where I thought he was going to. Ooh. I thought you were going cat in the hat Grinch and I was like, we need to log out because that combo, it's over.

Yeah, that's pretty good, that's pretty good. He doesn't really have magic. No, I don't, yeah, he just has brute force. But he does have Jim Carrey. If I could have had Jim Carrey and Michael Myers. If you could put Mike Into two characters the big bad wolf in the Grinch Yeah, that's very Mike cuz Mike Mike is like he's gonna huff and puff and blow your house down, but yeah, we won't eat you

His heart will just want you to think he would he's grouchy. He wants to not talk to you I'll be alone cover. Yeah, it But then his heart's gonna grow three sizes and he's not gonna be able to do battle. It will never happen. Most children's books were written about Mike. He was the protagonist. All right, you got another pick. I got one more pick.

Okay. That's a duo though, the big bad wolf and the Grinch. And I'm gonna get a little telekinesis going on here. Okay. Oh, I will be taking Matilda. Oh, I'm so to get a little telekinesis going on here. OK. Oh. I will be taking Matilda. Oh, I'm so happy you did that. Explain that.

Remind me. I can't recall Matilda. Oh, you can't recall Matilda. No. Matilda is the story of- It was a movie, though, right? Yeah. And there's an awesome musical.

She was so smart. And no one was giving her enough knowledge that eventually, just because she's so smart, she eventually figures out telekinesis. And knocks over a glass of water with a newt. So she can mess with things with her mind. Yep. Yep. She has telekinesis.

Is this like the force from Star Wars? It's not as strong as that. Not as strong. She has to think really hard to think really hard and like so she's got a concentrate. Yeah, and is it little things only? Probably I don't think you're gonna say yes And we never got in left a house. No, no, no, no, not a house Yeah, maybe what a little pebble she could pick up and go for sure. Yeah, she can objects books things like that She can slay a giant. I'm just happy because I've got you throw the hat while the cat still oh the hat I could knock right off right off. That's a big problem. It's flipped on

Its head and then it's like can the cat get out through the bottom If the hat is facing downward. Yeah, just stand up. Oh, it does. Okay I did look into it and it seems that the cat is the magic not the hat So you're safe if he knocks your hat off. All right, good. I'll just like zip it right back to me with magic. All right, well here's why I was happy you took Matilda. Because we had a whole long talk beforehand, like what is a children's book?

This is where we're pushing the line. This is where we're pushing the line because it's like, you know, we're not taking Harry Potter here. We're not taking the Narnia series not teenagers not young adults that kids sometimes read We want children's books, you know ten and under we want, you know, dr. Seuss and and and these these famous Enrolled all thank you sir. So give me the big Friendly giant he's on my list, but that F is doing a lot of heavy work Yes, but you know who's going to love the big friendly giant?

Clifford. It's just a dude and his dog. It's like, oh, you're my size. That is the challenge with- The BFG was number two on my list over here. It's the challenge with some of these picks because one of the picks, and I'll just reveal it, you can take them. If you think you can coax this character into fighting you can but Ferdinand the bull

Okay, that story. It's a bull You'd think you'd want to pull but the whole point of the story is Ferdinand doesn't fight. Yeah, so it's like He's just gonna lay down. I can't John Cena. I can't take yeah, that was a book. It was Ferdinand Yeah, that was a book. Yeah, and a bad movie and a bad movie. It was not guessing in the movie He doesn't fight because that's the book. Yeah, and a bad movie. And a bad movie. It was not a good movie. I'm guessing in the movie he doesn't fight, because that's the book. Yeah. But I have a-

It's actually way different than the book. They should have got Jim Carrey. That's the answer to so many things. Works for Sonic. I'm gonna go a little, I'm gonna go a little battle. I feel like I'm battling the big bad wolf with this pick because of-

Are you gonna draft Bricks? Uh. No. Bricks is not a character in the children's book, Mike. But I know that this story, like it keeps going. And I imagine if somebody didn't stop it, it would have kept going even further. So I probably got a shot here.

I'm taking the old lady who swallowed a fly. Oh, OK. Because she swallowed a fly. Oh, OK. Because she swallowed a fly. Why? Well, perhaps. We don't know why she swallowed a fly. Thank you, Mike. Yeah, we don't know.

Perhaps she'll die, but she didn't. A spider, a bird, a cat. She swallowed a dog, a cow, a horse. If someone didn't stop the story, she swallows a wolf. I don't know if you knew that. Really? She swallows a wolf and a grinch. And she swallows a wolf. I don't know if you knew that. Really? She swallows a wolf and a grinch. And she swallows a Lorax for sure.

This story feels like eventually it's the snake that eats its own tail. It might, but you'll all be dead. By the end, there's still be nothing left. Yeah. So I'm taking the old lady who swallowed a fly. Wow. Not on my radar, but I like it.

And you know what? From Winnie the Pooh, I'm taking Tigger. Ah, yeah. I'm taking Tigger. I feel like he's gonna be a good... That's a good Tigger. He does a good job. First of all he's a tiger. Second of all he can battle the cat in the hat in the chaotic department. He's well meaning but he causes problems. Yeah, he does. I'm counting on Tigger and Clifford to accidentally kill you.

That's the- No, yeah, that is. They're both accidental tramp- And the old lady is the same thing. She's just starving. Yeah, she's just famished. Famished. She's craving is what she's doing. Yeah.

It's not a want, it's not a need. She's craving is what she's doing. Yeah. It's not a want. It's not a need. She's craving a fly. Oh, man. So I do have to start her off with a few of the animals beforehand, the fly, the spider, the bird, whatever, and get her primed for you. But that's my pick. All right.

Does that mean I'm up? It does. It does, yeah. Is this my last pick? It is. Oh, man. What is my team? You got the cat in the hat, the Lorax, and the BFG.

All right. So I got some size. I got some magic. Big Friendly Giant was a good pick. Got some size. I got some magic. Is this friendly? And I think I want some machinery.

You do, huh? I got magic, size, machinery. I'm taking. You didn't mention the Lorax at all in your story of what you got. Well, it's magic, he's magic too. Okay. Magic, size, and machinery in The Little Engine That Could.

Oh, you're taking a train? That's right, I'm taking a train, I'm a run ya all over. Oh, but I mean. He doesn't need tracks. He doesn't? Is that a story a lot? What? He goes anywhere he wants.

Oh man, that's gonna suck if he needs tracks though. He's just sitting out there. But he could, you might think, you might watch him there. If I get in there. You might watch him and think, oh he can't do this. And that's the point, he wants you to think he can't do it. But it turns out he can. I think I can.

I think I can, I think I can, and he does. But he might need tracks. out. I can. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. And he does. Where? What? But he might need tracks. He might need tracks. I think it's leading you to believe that he does need tracks. I don't remember the pictures. Okay. It's a train man. It's a train. This is like putting what's in the story is that he can. I think I can. I think I can. So if you don't have tracks, you say, oh he can't do it. I think I can. I think I can I think I can so if you don't have tracks you say well he can't do it I think I can I Think I know I can without tracks. I think you can't you think I can't look positive thinking is great Can only get you so far. Yeah, man. If you don't got no tracks They're just gonna be spinning your little engines is standing in the corner of the arena you gotta believe

Yeah, I think you. I think you can. I think you can. You got this, Lorax. Yeah. The logging industry is doomed. I've got an engine. I've got a train. I'm going to run you over. All right, Mike.

You've got Matilda, the big bad wolf in the Grinch. And you got one more pick. Oh, man. I'm gonna go... Like this could work terribly, but I think we're going so small that your giant dog, it won't be an issue. Okay.

Because I'm gonna get you with a tiny little bug. All right. Taking Charlotte. Oh, the issue. OK. Because I'm going to get you with a tiny little bug. All right. Taking Charlotte. Oh, the spider. Yeah. It was a black widow, right? Yeah. I'm on it.

It absolutely was. Or a brown recluse. Yeah, it was one of them dirty spiders. Either way, Jason can't be a part of this fight anymore. Well, there will be a nice calm spot to spin a web on the train in the corner. Tell you that. And then if you get Charlotte, it doesn't matter.

It's definitely not a black widow, because it's an orb weaver spider. They spin classic, beautiful circular webs. That is not what a- Is the web the plan? No, they spin up a big trap into it. You're going to make a big name that says, go team? The plane is actually all, that's good. Yeah, I forgot about the writing.

Yeah. I forgot the book. What does he say? That's a heck of a pig? What is... I don't know. But anyway, my plan is the babies. I was going to unleash the... I mean, I will not be there.

But my warriors will be. Yeah, but your leader is gone. Yeah, well, my leader is the cat in the hat. Some pig, it's some pig. Some pig. Or terrific, radiant, humble. These are things you could spin in your web, Mike. She's very smart for a spider.

Okay, did you guys have? I had a lot of. Curious George. Yeah, he's on my list. Curious George was on mine. The very hungry caterpillar. He was on my list, too. I would have been doubling up on the old lady with the fly.

Yeah, just eating stuff. Harold and the purple crayon was on my list, but. I had Horton. Oh, yeah. Because he's an elephant. But it was very similar to the bull, where it's like he's not a tough guy elephant. The tough guy, the one that really,

I maybe should have drafted because you wanna talk about. Instead of the trackless engine, go on. I think he can be okay. He's not. I'll give you one set of tracks just long enough, just as long as him. Let's go back and forth a little bit. I think I can magic some tracks with my team.

But Mama Bear. Oh, I had Papa Q Bear on my list. Yeah, I mean I'm just from Berenstain bear Oh, yeah, mine was from Goldilocks. Oh Cuz mama bear gonna come in and be angry. Yeah, you know, I feel like the Berenstain bears I had them on my list first cuz he's a bear mama didn't take no crap in that book Yeah, I had Franklin the turtle. Mama didn't take no crap in that book. Yeah, I had Franklin, the turtle. Oh, gosh. Go in your shell. Yeah, I mean, just turtle up.

Yeah. I mean, I had Max, but then you took the wild thing. A bear would have been a good pick, but I think you did the right thing with a train. Did you guys ever read The Mouse and the Motorcycle? Nope. Yeah. With Ralph S. Mouse?

Nope. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. His whole thing was it's a- I can recall that. He's a mouse and he had a toy motorcycle. But when he made motorcycle sounds, it drove. So the plan was just to have this mouse just driving around on a tiny little motorcycle.

You'll never catch this. That's not bad. I had Miss Frizzle. And maybe- Oh, Miss Frizzle would have been an elite pick. Yeah, and I didn't know if I would be allowed. You'd get the school bus, though? So I was going to try.

You'd just have Miss Frizzle. If I went that way, I was going to just draft the Magic School Bus. See if I could claim that as a carrier. You would have gotten away with it. You would have gotten away with it. See, I didn't think you'd let me. You'd have gone inside.

And then my second favorite children's book, I just got to give her a shout out, because she was incredible. Accidentally brilliant. Amelia Bedelia. Oh, we know Amelia Bedelia. Oh yeah. She's gonna make some mistakes, but turn out all right.

Okay, that was not bad. That was a pretty good draft. I'm gonna crush you guys. What did we learn today? I learned that Papa Josh is the best liar. He's so good at lying his friends won't let him play lying games. He hates you so much right now. He hates people the best. I learned that you guys have a very Eurocentric thought process when it comes to dragons. And I

learned that my Schwarzenegger impression is just as good as it always was. Goodbye everybody. We'll do this again sometime. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spitballers Podcast. To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod.com.